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wait but why: How to Beat Procrastination

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How to Beat Procrastination

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This is Part 2. You won't get Part 2 if you haven't read Part 1 yet. For Part 1, click here. ___________

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pprroo--ccrraass--ttii--nnaa--ttiioonn |prəˌkrastəˈnāSHən, prō-| noun the action of ruining your own life for no apparent reason

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Let me start by saying that I've had just about enough of the irony of battling through crippling procrastination while trying to write posts on procrastination and how to beat it. I've spent the last two weeks being this guy, who shoots himself in the foot while talking about gun safety, and I look forward to getting back to irony-free procrastination following this post.

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A few notes before we begin: - I'm not a professional at any of this, just a lifelong procrastinator who thinks about this topic all the time. I'm still in a total battle with my own habits, but I have made some progress in the last few years, and I'm drawing my thoughts from what's worked for me. - In this post, I'm referring to both ADD and non-ADD procrastinators (and the line is often pretty hazy between the two), but not those with severe ADD/ADHD, who need something different than anything in this post can provide. - This post was posted late, not only because it took me 2,000 years to do, but also because I decided that Monday night was an urgent time to open Google Earth, hover a few hundred feet above the southern tip of India, and scroll all the way up India to the top of the country, to "get a better feel for India." I have problems. - I'm gonna be kind of extra serious in this post, because as much as people joke about procrastination, it's a pretty serious problem for a lot of people and it really affects happiness. All right, so last week we dove into the everyday inner struggle of the procrastinator to examine the underlying psychology going on. But this week, when we're actually trying to do something about it, we need to dig even deeper. Let's begin by trying to unwrap the procrastinator's psychology and see what's really at the core of things:

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We know about the Instant Gratification Monkey (the part of your brain that makes you procrastinate) and his dominion over the Rational Decision Maker, but what's really happening there? The procrastinator is in the bad habit, bordering on addiction, of letting the monkey win. He continues to have the intention to control the monkey, but he puts forth a hapless effort, using the same proven-not-to-work methods he's used for years, and deep down, he knows the monkey will win. He vows to change, but the patterns just stay the same. So why would an otherwise capable person put forth such a lame and futile effort again and again? TThhee aannssw weerr iiss tthhaatt hhee hhaass iinnccrreeddiibbllyy lloow w ccoonnfifiddeennccee w whheenn iitt ccoom meess ttoo tthhiiss ppaarrtt ooff hhiiss lliiffee,, aalllloow wiinngg hhiim msseellff ttoo bbeeccoom mee eennssllaavveedd bbyy aa sseellff--ddeeffeeaattiinngg,, sseellff--ffuullfifilllliinngg pprroopphheeccyy.. Let's call this self-fulfilling prophecy his Storyline. The procrastinator's Storyline goes something like this:

For the Have-To-Dos in my life, I'll end up waiting until the last minute, panicking, and then either doing less than my best work or shutting down and not doing anything at all. For the Want-To-Dos in my life, let's be honest—I'll either start one and quit or more likely, I just won't ever get around to it. The procrastinator's problems run deep, and it takes something more than "being more self-disciplined" or "changing his bad habits" for him to change his ways—tthhee rroooott ooff tthhee pprroobblleem m iiss eem mbbeeddddeedd iinn hhiiss SSttoorryylliinnee,, aanndd hhiiss SSttoorryylliinnee iiss w whhaatt m muusstt cchhaannggee.. *

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Before we talk about how Storylines change, let's examine, concretely, what the procrastinator even wants to change into. What do the right habits even look like, and where exactly will the procrastinator run into trouble? Why  Procras*nators  Procras*nate

There are two components of being able to achieve things in a healthy and effective manner—planning and doing.

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Let's start with the easy one:

PPllaannnniinngg How  to  Beat  Procras*na*on

Procrastinators love planning, quite simply because planning does not involve doing, and doing is the procrastinator's Kryptonite. But when procrastinators plan, they like to do it in a vague way that doesn't consider details or reality too closely, and their planning leaves them perfectly set up to not actually accomplish anything. A procrastinator's planning session leaves him with a doer's nightmare:

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A big list of vague and daunting things makes the Instant Gratification Monkey laugh. When you make a list like that, the monkey says, "Oh perfect, this is easy." Even if your gullible conscious mind believes it intends to accomplish the items on that list in an efficient manner, the monkey knows that in your subconscious, you have no intention of doing so. Effective planning, on the other hand, sets you up for success. Its purpose is to do the exact opposite of everything in that sentence:

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EEffffeeccttiivvee ppllaannnniinngg ttaakkeess aa bbiigg lliisstt aanndd sseelleeccttss aa w wiinnnneerr:: A big list is perhaps an early phase of planning, but planning must end with rigorous prioritizing and one item that emerges as the winner—the item you're going to make your first priority. And the item that wins should be the one that means the most to you—the item that's most important for your happiness. If urgent items are involved, those will have to come first and should be knocked out as quickly as possible in order to make way for the important items (procrastinators love to use unimportant but urgent items as an excuse to forever put off the important ones).

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EEffffeeccttiivvee ppllaannnniinngg m maakkeess aann iicckkyy iitteem m uunn--iicckkyy:: We all know what an icky item is. An icky item is vague and murky, and you're not really sure where you'd start, how you'd go about doing it, or where you'd get answers to your questions about it. So let's say your dream is to make your own app, and you know that if you build a successful app you could quit your job and become a full-time developer. You also think that programming ability is the literacy of the 21st century, and you don't have money to spend outsourcing development anyway, so you decide to anoint "Learn how to code" the winning item on your list—the number one priority. Exciting, right?

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Well, no, because "Learn how to code" is an intensely icky item—and every time you decide it's time to get started, you will coincidentally also decide your inbox needs to be cleaned out and your kitchen floor needs to be mopped, ASAP. It'll never end up happening. To un-icky the item, you need to read, research, and ask questions to find out exactly how one learns how to code, the specific means necessary for each step along the way, and how long each one should take. Un-ickying a list item turns it from this:

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Into this:

EEffffeeccttiivvee ppllaannnniinngg ttuurrnnss aa ddaauunnttiinngg iitteem m iinnttoo aa sseerriieess ooff ssm maallll,, cclleeaarr,, m maannaaggeeaabbllee ttaasskkss:: Icky combines with Daunting into an Instant Gratification Monkey steroid potion. And just because you un-icky an item, it doesn't mean it's still not horribly big and daunting. The key to de-dauntifying an item is to absorb this fact:

A remarkable, glorious achievement is just what a long series of unremarkable, unglorious tasks looks like from far away. No one "builds a house." They lay one brick again and again and again and the end result is a house. Procrastinators are great visionaries—they love to fantasize about the beautiful mansion they will one day have built—but what they need to be are gritty construction workers, who methodically lay one brick after the other, day after day, without giving up, until a house is built. Nearly every big undertaking can be boiled down to a core unit of progress—its brick. A 45-minute gym visit is the brick of getting in great shape. A 30-minute practice session is the brick of becoming a great guitarist. The average day in a wannabe author's week and a real author's week looks almost the same. The real author writes a couple pages, laying a brick, and the wannabe author writes nothing. 98% of their day is otherwise identical. But a year later, the real author has a completed first draft of a book and the wannabe author has...nothing. It's all about the bricks. And the good news is, laying one brick isn't daunting. But bricks do require scheduling. So the final step in planning is to make a Brick Timeline, which slots bricks into the calendar. The slots are non-negotiable and non-cancellable—after all, it's your first priority and the thing that matters most to you, isn't it? The most important date is the first one. You can't start learning to code "in November." But you can start learning to code on November 21st from 6:00 - 7:00pm. Now you're effectively planned—just follow the schedule and you'll be a programmer. Only thing left is to do...

D Dooiinngg

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It's not that procrastinators don't like the concept of doing. They look at the bricks on their calendar and they think, "Great, this will be fun." And that's because when they picture the moment in the future when they sit down and knock out a work session, they picture things without the presence of the Instant Gratification Monkey. Procrastinators' visions of future scenarios never seem to include the monkey. But when the actual moment arrives to begin that scheduled brick-laying, the procrastinator does what the procrastinator does best—he lets the monkey take over and ruin everything. And since we just stressed above that all achievement boils down to the ability to lay that one brick during that slot when it's on your schedule, we seem to have isolated the core struggle here. Let's examine this specific challenge of laying a single brick:

So this diagram represents the challenge at hand anytime you take on a task, whether it's making a PowerPoint for work, going on a jog, working on a script, or anything else you do in your life. The Critical Entrance is where you go to officially start work on the task, the Dark Woods are the process of actually doing the work, and once you finish, you're rewarded by ending up in The Happy Playground—a place where you feel satisfaction and where leisure time is pleasant and rewarding because you got something hard done. You occasionally even end up superengaged with what you're working on and enter a state of Flow, where you're so blissfully immersed in the task that you lose track of time. Those paths look something like this:

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Sounds pretty simple, right? Well unfortunately for procrastinators, they tend to miss out on both The Happy Playground and Flow. For example, here's a procrastinator that never even gets started on the task he's supposed to do, because he never makes it through the Critical Entrance. Instead, he spends hours wallowing in The Dark Playground, hating himself:

Here's a procrastinator who gets started on the task, but she can't stay focused, and she keeps taking long breaks to play on the internet and make food. She doesn't end up finishing the task:

Here's a procrastinator who couldn't bring himself to get started, even though a work deadline was approaching, and he spent hours in The Dark Playground, knowing the looming deadline was drawing near and he was only making his life harder by not starting. Eventually, the deadline got so close, the Panic Monster suddenly came roaring into the room, freaking him out and causing him to fly through the task to hit the deadline.

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After he finishes, he feels decent because he accomplished something, but he's also not that pleased because he knows he did an underwhelming job on the project because he had to rush so much, and he feels like he wasted most of his day procrastinating for no reason. This lands him in Mixed Feelings Park. So if you're a procrastinator, let's look at what you need to do to get on the right path, one that will leave you much happier. The first thing you must do is make it through the Critical Entrance. This means stopping whatever you're doing when it's time to begin the task, putting away all distractions, and getting started. It sounds simple, but this is the hardest part. This is where the Instant Gratification Monkey puts up his fiercest resistance:

The monkey absolutely hates stopping something fun to start something hard, and this is where you need to be the strongest. If you can get started and force the monkey into the Dark Woods, you've broken a bit of his will. Of course, he's not going to give up anytime soon. The Dark Woods is where you are when you're working. It's not a fun place to be, and the Instant Gratification Monkey wants nothing to do with it. To make things harder, the Dark Woods is surrounded by the Dark Playground, one of the monkey's favorite places, and since he can see how close it is, he'll try as hard as he can to leave the Dark Woods. There will also be times when you bump into a tree—maybe the jog is taking you on an uphill street, maybe you need to use an Excel formula you don't know, maybe that song you're writing just isn't coming together the way you thought it would—and this is when the monkey will make his boldest attempt at an escape.

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It makes no sense to leave the Dark Woods in favor of the Dark Playground—they're both dark. They both suck to be in, but the big difference is the Dark Woods leads to happiness and the Dark Playground leads only to more misery. But the Instant Gratification Monkey isn't logical and to him, the Dark Playground seems like much more fun. The good news is, if you can power through a bit of the Dark Woods, something funny happens. Making progress on a task produces positive feelings of accomplishment and raises your self-esteem. The monkey gains his strength off of low self-esteem, and when you feel a jolt of self-satisfaction, the monkey finds a High Self-Esteem Banana in his path. It doesn't quell his resistance entirely, but it goes a long way to distracting him for a while, and you'll find that the urge to procrastinate has diminished.

Then, if you continue along, something magical happens. Once you get 2/3 or 3/4 of the way through a task, especially if it's going well, you start to feel great about things and suddenly, the end is in sight. This is a key tipping point—

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The Tipping Point is important because it's not just you who can smell the Happy Playground up ahead—the monkey can smell it too. The monkey doesn't care if his instant gratification comes alongside you or at your expense, he just loves things that are easy and fun. Once you hit the Tipping Point, the monkey becomes more interested in getting to the Happy Playground than the Dark Playground. When this happens, you lose all impulse to procrastinate and now both you and the monkey are speeding toward the finish.

Before you know it, you're done, and you're in the Happy Playground. Now, for the first time in a while, you and the monkey are a team. You both want to have fun, and it feels great because it's earned. When you and the monkey are on a team, you're almost always happy.

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The other thing that might happen when you the Tipping Point, depending on the type of task and how well it's going, is that you might start feeling fantastic about what you're working on, so fantastic that continuing to work sounds like much more fun than stopping to do leisure activities. You've become obsessed with the task and you lose interest in basically everything else, including food and time—this is called Flow. Flow is not only a blissful feeling, it's usually when you do great things. The monkey is just as addicted to the bliss as you are, and you two are again a team.

Fighting through to the Tipping Point is hard, but what makes procrastination so hard to beat is that the Instant Gratification Monkey has a terribly short-term memory—even if you wildly succeed on Monday, when you begin a task on Tuesday, the monkey has forgotten everything and will again resist entering the Dark Woods or working through them. And that's why persistence is such a critical component of success. Laying each brick yields an inner struggle—and in the end, your ability to win this very specific struggle and lay brick after brick, day after day, is what lies at the core of a procrastinator's struggle to gain control over his world. So that's what needs to happen—but if procrastination could be solved by reading a blog entry, it wouldn't be such a large problem in so many people's lives. There's only one way to truly beat procrastination:

YYoouu nneeeedd ttoo pprroovvee ttoo yyoouurrsseellff tthhaatt yyoouu ccaann do it . You need to show yourself you can do it, not tell yourself. Things will change when you show yourself that they

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can. Until then, you won’t believe it, and nothing will change. Think of yourself like a basketball player on a cold streak. For basketball players, it's all about confidence, and an ice cold shooter can tell himself 1000 times, "I'm a great shooter, I'm going to hit this next one," but it's not until he physically hits a shot that his confidence goes up and his touch comes back. So how do you start hitting shots? 11)) TTrryy ttoo iinntteerrnnaalliizzee tthhee ffaacctt tthhaatt eevveerryytthhiinngg yyoouu ddoo iiss aa cchhooiiccee.. Start by thinking about the we've used in these posts, and if they resonated with you, write them down. Part of the reason I assigned to so many of these feelings or phenomena—the Instant Gratification Monkey, the Rational Decision-Maker, the Panic Monster, the Dark Playground, Ickiness, Bricks, the Critical Entrance, the Dark Woods, the Tipping Point, the Happy Playground, Flow, your Storyline—is that help you clarify the reality of the choices you're making. It helps expose bad choices and highlights when it's most critical to make good ones. 22)) CCrreeaattee m meetthhooddss ttoo hheellpp yyoouu ddeeffeeaatt tthhee m moonnkkeeyy.. Some possible methods: - Solicit external by telling one or more friends or family about a goal you're trying to accomplish and asking them to hold you to it. - Create a Panic Monster if there's not already one in place—if you're trying to finish an album, schedule a performance for a few months from now, book a space, and send out an invitation to a group of people. If you really want to start a business, quitting your job makes the Panic Monster your new roommate. If you're trying to write a consistent blog, put "new post every Tuesday" at the top of the page... - Leave post-it notes for yourself, reminding you to make good choices. - Set an alarm to remind yourself to start a task, or to remind you of the stakes. - Minimize distractions by all means necessary. If TV's a huge problem, sell your TV. If the internet's a huge problem, get a second computer for work that has Wifi disabled, and turn your phone on Airplane Mode during work sessions. - Lock yourself into something—put down a non-refundable deposit for lessons or a hip. And if the methods you set up aren't working, change them. Set a reminder for a month from now that says, "Have things improved? If not, change my methods." 33)) AAiim m ffoorr sslloow w,, sstteeaaddyy pprrooggrreessss— —SSttoorryylliinneess aarree rreew wrriitttteenn oonnee ppaaggee aatt aa ttiim mee.. In the same way a great achievement happens unglorious brick by unglorious brick, a deeply-engrained habit like procrastination doesn’t change all at once, it changes one modest improvement at a time. , this is all about showing yourself you can do it, so the key isn't to be perfect, but to simply improve. The author who writes one page a day has written a book after a year. The procrastinator who gets slightly better every week is a totally changed person a year later. So don't think about going from A to Z—just start with A to B. Change the Storyline from "I procrastinate on every hard task I do" to "Once a week, I do a hard task without procrastinating." If you can do that, you've started a trend. I'm still a wretched procrastinator, but I'm definitely better than I was last year, so I feel hopeful about the future. Why do I think about this topic so much, and why did I just write a 19,000 page blog post on it? Because defeating procrastination is the same thing as gaining control over your own life. So much of what makes people happy or unhappy—their level of fulfillment and satisfaction, their self-esteem, the regrets they carry with them, the amount of free time they have to dedicate to their relationships—is severely affected by procrastination. So it's worthy of being taken dead seriously, and the time to start improving is now. Finally, if you're going to try to make a change, I encourage you to email me ([email protected]) with a concrete goal and a date for its completion. I'll write it down and check up on you when the date hits.

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Penny Patterson Ramirez · Works at Librarian Excellent description. My favorite line: "Procrastinators love planning, quite simply because planning does not involve doing, and doing is the procrastinator's Kryptonite." Thanks, Wait But Why Reply ·

83 · Like · November 6 at 8:08am Samuel Zamora Gutierrez · Pozo-Estrecho, Murcia, Spain Absolutely Reply · Like · November 7 at 5:08am

Brie Sullivan · Holyoke, Massachusetts I don't think I've read an explanation of procrastination that so fully describes the tangle of emotions and process as this does. It's also one of the few pieces on the subject that addressed the shame and frustration that come with being a Procrastination Sensation (as I like to call it), and it didn't make me feel even more shame and self loathing. Thank you for time, honesty, humor, and advice! I think creating an app where the instant gratification monkey pops up at intervals to remind you to stay on task would be awesome! Reply ·

67 · Like · November 7 at 7:00am Michael Beaudoin · Salem, New Hampshire Interesting article. I'll read it later. Reply ·

15 · Like · November 7 at 8:55am

Vicky Mohieddeen · Founder and Director at Electric Shadows "procrastination sensation" :D Reply ·

1 · Like · November 11 at 9:35pm

Karl-Mikael Syding ·

Top Commenter · Handelshögskolan i Stockholm

I got absolutely nothing done while reading the article...; spent the entire 10 minutes in the dark playground :( Reply ·

26 · Like · November 6 at 8:32am Diego Luiz Of course you were doing something while you were reading.. You see can this as learning, not wasting! Reply ·

12 · Like · November 7 at 10:26am

Marcelo Ramires ·

Top Commenter · FIAP

Diego Luiz That's the instant gratification monkey talking. Cleaning the kitchen is investing in a better hygiene and and living condition, but I know what you meant. This post is an investment on learning how to invest on more important stuff for me. Whatever I've learned in here is useless if I don't apply it, so, instant gratification all the way with little or no outcome. Reply ·

2 · Like · November 10 at 2:15pm

Tiemen Rapati · Designer at United Visual Artists Diego Luiz says the monkey ;) Reply ·

1 · Like · November 10 at 4:56pm

View 3 more Samuel J Bowar ·

Top Commenter · Madison, Wisconsin

Bookmarked this. I'll definitely read it later. Reply ·

18 · Like · November 6 at 4:21pm

Matt DiTrolio · Senior Software Engineer at Pinpoint Global Communications This pair of articles spoke to me like nothing else I've read on the subject. This is *exactly* what a lot of my life feels like. Thank you so much for taking the time to put it all into words, and also for offering strong, encouraging advice for overcoming it. You are awesome. :) Reply ·

16 · Like · November 11 at 7:39am

Alexandre Gomes Engleitner ·

Top Commenter

that's just what I needed. this blog is great Reply ·

7 · Like · November 6 at 7:24am

Gabrielle Perez · GM Bacchanal at Caesars Palace I have never found a blog worthy of following, which is saying something because I spend an inordinate amount of time in the dark playground. This article, like all others on your site, is fantastic. And I will end up sharing it on my FB, like all others since I signed up, but this one particularly resonates with me. Thanks Wait-but-Why! Reply ·

6 · Like · November 6 at 12:23pm

Markael Luterra · Carleton You understand me so well! And now of course Mr. Instant Gratification Monkey is sure that reading your blog is so much more fun than finishing Chapter 3 of my dissertation. Exactly how I made it as far as Chapter 3 I'm not sure, but "the end is in sight" phase ought to be approaching any day now. Reply ·

3 · Like · December 2 at 9:26am Nathan Tisdell · CSS Graduate research Assistant at Oregon State University Which will only give the monkey more of an excuse to come out and play. Reply · Like · December 2 at 11:39am

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128 comments: AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 5:33 AM Been procrastinating all night waiting for this. Let the reading begin! Oh, and... first! Reply

oolldd ggrreegg November 6, 2013 at 5:54 AM Finally! Reply

D Deenniiss November 6, 2013 at 6:07 AM Thank you very much! Amazing article about my feelings right now! Let's start with the first brick! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 6:09 AM I'll start beating the monkey once I've figured out why that guy is trying to saw a piece out of the corner of that house. And what practical use a nail on the exterior of the house could be used for. Reply Replies W Waaiitt BBuutt W Whhyy November 25, 2013 at 8:49 PM It's an advanced technique.

SSoonnyyaa December 5, 2013 at 2:57 PM I have a question why actually that guy trying to saw a piece out of the corner of the house? RReeppllyy

RRaallpphh BBooootthh November 6, 2013 at 6:13 AM Dude this was fantastic....and I can imagine how dreadful it was to start writing this particular post. I even had goosebumps when I reached the part with the happy playground. Your words kind of opened my eyes today! I never looked at this problem like this before. Thanks a lot man! Respectful and earnest greeting from far away Switzerland! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 6:17 AM TL;DR Reply Replies M Myy BBaadd SSeellff November 11, 2013 at 3:35 AM Cool! I know what that means! A 140 IQ and two Ph.D.’s don’t help a poor boy integrate much when he doesn’t even speak the language. However, thanks to Google, once upon a time I looked up those very letters—TLDR—and so now as I read your brilliant reply to this blog, I already know what they mean! And I didn’t even have to re-google them to be certain. Yea, for me! You there, Mr./Ms. TLDR, have given me wonderful feelers of great knowledgeability; you further causeth these feelers to overfloweth with overflowing overflowingness, and proveth upon more and increasing provingnation that 20 years of alcoholism haven’t totally destroyed my ability to learn and . Most importantly of all, you have reminded me that sometimes a little goodness can EVEN come from people being insensitive and ignorant. Thank you! RReeppllyy

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AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 7:09 AM Thank You. Reply

ttrraavveelllleerr November 6, 2013 at 7:41 AM Thanks for your work from Ukraine! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 8:41 AM I've been in the procrastination pits of hell for a long time now. The way you describe it all is amazing, and I think your advice is spot on. Unfortunately for me, I'm not strong enough to follow it, so I'm stuck here crying in the dark playground for life now. (Wish Adderall was an option, but I'm in the UK and it's not used here. It's also pretty much impossible to import.) Reply Replies D Diinnaarreennaa November 7, 2013 at 5:52 AM If you think you may have ADD/ADHD (procrastination was the main symptom that led to my diagnosis of ADD) then get your GP to refer you to the Adult ADHD service in your area (they should have one, NICE guidelines say there should be one and if your GP tries to fob you off or says adult ADHD doesn't exist, show them the guidelines and insist on the referral, or change GP) - although you won't get Adderall, the NHS does allow prescribing of Ritalin, Concerta and Dexedrine which all have similar effects. Good luck! RReeppllyy

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 8:55 AM I think it's very important to try integrate long tasks or projects in to your daily life. Basically faking your mind that's just a regular chore you just do like going to work, vacuum your place or eating lunch. Just something you do every day without having the big overarching goal in mind. This is really something that helped me on my diet. It allowed me to do sports on almost every day for over 2 years now and I HATED sports before all that. But because it just became part of my daily life I just did it still with minor procrastinating of course, but in the end I never quit and with 50 kilos less on my ribs it really paid off. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 9:39 AM I'm definitely a Mixed Feelings Park person. If anything's got a deadline and isn't one of my own goals, that's where I'll end up. If it's something I want, I'll just stay in the Dark Playground. How crazy is it that I always put my own desires after things like university, work, etc? Reply

LLuuggooLLiiaann November 6, 2013 at 9:46 AM Jesus, the way you write, the analogies, the depictions and stuff is genius. I feel so interpreted. Thank you very much for sharing this. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 9:48 AM First public online comment ever and have just one word: Awesome blog--even more awesome post! Reply Replies EEKKBB November 6, 2013 at 10:37 AM Welcome to the interwebs!

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D Daannttee November 6, 2013 at 10:20 AM What to do if your monkey is a fucking nihilist? Reply Replies AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 10:33 AM oh mine is a HUGE nihilist. i can't ever get anything done because my monkey tells me i may as well skip it since nothing matters anyway and we're all going to die. still, AMAZING post.

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 11:00 AM A nihilist monkey is right. Nothing matters anyway. Question is whether YOU prefer to have this conversation with the nihilist monkey in a happy playground or a dark playground. RReeppllyy

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 10:51 AM Another great post. I imagine if you did it all once, or a part each day, like brick layering. Congratulations, from Brazil. Reply

N Naattee BBuunnggeerr November 6, 2013 at 11:27 AM I waited all week for this blog post. The first time in my life I've ever looked forward to a blog post actually. I checked last night at around midnight (it was actually now Wednesday on the East coast) and it still wasn't live, realizing what a huge problem procrastination is even for the guy who is writing about the cure. Amazing article, your the king of the Internet right now and people are going to see it soon. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:03 PM This is hilarious and spot-on. Good luck with your brick-laying. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:16 PM Thanks. Your advice is great. So is your blog. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:18 PM I guess I still don't get what you're talking about. As I said in part 1, I consider myself to be a chronic procrastinator. On most things, I wait until the last minute. But I also think, "So what?" Going to your house analogy, when I compare the house I made at the eleventh hour to the ones I make when I take the time to lay one brick at a time, the two aren't significantly different, and honestly a lot of times the houses I make in a rush look better to me. Not only that, but it only took me one day to build the hurried house, whereas it took me 10 days for the other one. Why would I take 10 days to do something I can do in one? Also, I still have to say that procrastination (IMO) is when you wait to the last minute to do something, but you still do it. If it never gets done, you didn't procrastinate, you just didn't do it. That's the difference between "procrastination" and "being irresponsible". Finally, I wonder if some of what you're dealing with relates to your Generation Y post, where you seem to set some incredibly lofty goals for yourself. Look at what you wrote in the post....be a great guitarist, get in great shape, be an independently wealthy app developer. OF COURSE those things are hard to do and frustrating, because in most cases, unless you're truly special, they are beyond your abilities. your Gen Y post? "You can be anything! You're special!" Well, the reality is you're probably not.

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So maybe one factor at play here is by setting such lofty goals for yourself, some of which are likely out of your reach, you doom yourself to failure and disappointment. "I wanna be a great guitar player" ---> years of frustrated practice because you're not talented enough. Try setting more achievable goals for yourself, e.g., "I wanna learn to play the guitar", and if you end up being great, it'll happen because you have a natural love for it and will never want to stop playing (it becomes your dark playground). If not, you have to learn to be satisfied with just knowing how to play guitar a little. Reply Replies JJiim m November 6, 2013 at 5:27 PM It's about how you feel in those other 9 days, and while you're doing the work on the 10th. If procrastinating doesn't make you feel bad, and rushing/cramming doesn't make you feel bad... you don't have a problem, I guess. Procrastination isn't something that negatively affects you. However, most people who procrastinate feel like crap while they're procrastinating and feel just as bad after finishing something they procrastinated on. The looming nature of a task put off can provoke anxiety. In this case, procrastination has a significant negative impact on the emotional state of the person procrastinating.

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 9:06 AM "when I compare the house I made at the eleventh hour to the ones I make when I take the time to lay one brick at a time, the two aren't significantly different, and honestly a lot of times the houses I make in a rush look better to me. " I agree with this statement. Maybe this is the irony. In art the Monkey probably plays a pretty important role in beauty and meaning. I really love this analogy of the monkey and agree it gives clarity to the subject of procrastination. I just wonder... The building is made of neatly laid 'bricks', small tasks like 'write 100 words in 5 minutes' or 'go to a 30 minute class'. I agree, it is. Could the whole reason you're building, you're purpose, could be thought of as it's foundation. Ironically, in art, the monkey may be the key to building the foundation. Can a monkey be a muse, I wonder? In Betty Edwards book "drawing with the right side of the brain" she mentions that our rational brain has a lot of preconceived notions about what things look like. It distorts, not in a good way, but in a rather predictable and boring way. So we have to frustrate our rational brain until it shuts down and shares the power. Turning your picture upside down usually pisses it off. This switch then calls in the spatial side to make decisions. Getting away from the verbal side to the spatial side can be a step toward our intuition or, at least, our unconscious side. Maybe this transition to the right brain is a step toward our monkey. A key to creativity. (there is definitely a feeling of struggle as it happens, same as you describe. She is also a genius for suggesting we fight this fight. Very helpful) Artistic considerations-unconscious choices of color, line, direction and imagery, guided by emotions, could be the domain of the monkey. They feel like a whim. 'I Just Felt Like It'-type decisions. These are the things that give life, beauty and personal meaning to your building. They separate your building from every other brick building on your street. They give you a reason to build it. I would never give my Monkey the steering wheel to the car. It is a trickster, after all. But, a good switching system, knowing when to defer to your monkey, when to take the reigns, seems key. If you value a meaningful life.

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 7:35 PM Jim, I used to feel the way you describe when I procrastinated. But now I don't, because I've learned to look at it differently. Rather than being upset that I waited until the last minute, I think it's pretty cool that I can work one-tenth as hard as most everyone else around me, and still usually out-perform them. IOW, my last-minute-house is usually as good as, or better than, their one-brick-at-a-time-house. I think the "feeling bad" came from my mom. She would see me in my room, cramming for a test or writing a paper the night before it's due, and yell "Why do you do this? You should have started a month ago! What's wrong with you??!!" As a kid, you get the message: when you procrastinate,

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you should feel bad and guilty. It took a while, but with some deep introspection I got past that. Now I love the fact that I can have both a rational person pilot AND an instant gratification monkey and still be successful. I can't imagine going through life without that monkey. Must be boring as hell.

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 7:37 PM As far as the monkey being a muse, yeah I can see that. I'm not terribly artistic, even though I am creative (more of a problem solver), and now that I think about it, I think you're right. That monkey and the places he takes me are a big source of my creative ideas.

M Myy BBaadd SSeellff November 11, 2013 at 4:07 AM @Anonymous: " your Gen Y post? ‘You can be anything! You're special!' Well, the reality is you're probably not." If happiness is fulfilling one's potential, then hell is being a tested, proven, and certified genius that can’t help but amount to nothing. Sadly, nobody has much sympathy for tortured, underachieving geniuses—except other tortured and underachieving geniuses. Like the Beautiful Prom Queen crying in a bathroom stall during the dance about how lonely it is to be pretty, because nobody sees you as a real person: those to whom much has been given must mostly cry alone. Nonetheless, it's the worst kind of nightmare, if suicide statistics are any measure of pain, and any person who works to mitigate human suffering of ANY kind deserves our praise and great respect. RReeppllyy

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:33 PM I feel so inspired! Ha And I loved the dark forest tree. I’m going to make my monkey my B*tch! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:47 PM WOW! These last two articles just saved me $700 in cognitive behavioral therapy sessions. Talk about timely - THANK-YOU! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:53 PM This is GREAT. Spot-on. I think my monkey's in hiding now. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 12:57 PM This was amazing. I think you even inspired my monkey. Thank you. Reply

LLiizz aatt H Huum maann N Naattuurree November 6, 2013 at 12:58 PM This. Is. Brilliant. Please turn it into a book. Just a short one. An ebook. If you don't (or can't get around to it) can I do it for you? I liked Mixed Feelings Park especially. And the Panic Monster. Absolutely genius. Thank you. :) Reply

KKaajjeettaann November 6, 2013 at 12:59 PM Great post, and very entertaining! We actually developed web app called "Alive" (https://www.alive.do) that helps you use the exact same methods you recommended in your post - breaking goals into small steps, getting external from friends, creating reminders etc. (and I don't usually this in comments, but here it just fits perfectly).

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Keep up the great work! Reply Replies SSoonnyyaa November 7, 2013 at 6:37 AM Thank you I will try!

SSaam muueell ZZaam moorraa November 7, 2013 at 9:17 AM Looks neat! Congrats. Hope you'll help lots of people RReeppllyy

AAw weessoom meellyyO OZZ November 6, 2013 at 1:12 PM I think this was written for me! I am in the process of learning SharePoint and one of my goals is to learn coding.. it'll take me some time but I am guilty of massive procrastination! I've definitely learned to take smaller chunks and lay one brick at a time otherwise the overwhelming factor kicks in and things seem impossible. It's all about perception; we handle things better in smaller doses! Have a great one -Iva Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 1:31 PM "No one wants to be on Adderall". Speak for yourself. Reply Replies M Myy BBaadd SSeellff November 11, 2013 at 3:45 AM Bravo! Yes, please let's do speak for ourselves. Which reminds me--time for my meds! RReeppllyy

PPaam m CCoolllliinnss November 6, 2013 at 1:31 PM Excellent post! Just excellent! Go spend some time in your well deserved happy playground Reply

KKiim mbbeerrllyy D Daavviiss November 6, 2013 at 2:11 PM There is also something to be said for **allowing** your instant gratification monkey to have free reign for a little while. It helps me to actually schedule some dark playground time. If I give my monkey 15 minutes over my lunch break and fifteen minutes before I leave work I find that I'm less likely to run home and get on my laptop and procrastinate the dishes, tape off that room that needs painted and watering my plants. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm a procrastinator, I accept this. But, I don't feel the **guilt** that comes with this affliction as often if along with scheduling time for the brick laying i schedule time for my monkey too. Maybe it wont make sense to some that I actually schedule time throughout my day to procrastinate but it works for me. I give myself some time to check this blog on Wednesdays even though I should be working and i don't feel guilty about it all because it is part of my Wednesday schedule. Now, back to work. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 2:20 PM thank you.. the post is really amazing and insightful .. it has given me clarity which i was looking for :) Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 2:28 PM thank you <3 Reply

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AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 2:44 PM I absolutely LOVE the writing on this site. Reply

eell__m moonnttyy November 6, 2013 at 2:46 PM Dude. The fact that a tried-and-true procrastinator, as you must be (since you know the feelings so well), and as I am, can still end up creating this magnificent blog, is already an inspiration. Reply

AAnnddyy November 6, 2013 at 2:51 PM There are two more characters we could add to this: 1. The "Give Me Attention" Puppy Dog The Give Me Attention Puppy Dog hangs out all day in the dark playground waiting to be played with. Sometimes, it's the IG Monkey's good friend, and he'll beg you to be nice to the GMA Puppy Dog by replying to his/her constant texts, phonecalls, emails and social media stuff. Other times, the IG Monkey doesn't really like the GMA Puppy Dog, but he sure as heck likes it more than the Dark Woods. So either way he'll try to pull you out of the Dark Woods to his friend. No matter the IG monkey's true feelings for GMA Puppy Dog, he/she won't care. So the more time the two of them spent together, the louder the GMA Puppy Dog's whine becomes. If the GMA Puppy Dog is your roommate, this is BAD news. 2. "You Shall Not " Troll The You Shall Not Troll is a formidable enemy who lives in the Dark Woods. Depending on your task, he can appear regularly, tormenting and wasting your precious time. Some YSNP Trolls appear when you encounter mentally challenging roadblocks in your work. They can also appear when you have to wait on hold for half an hour to solve a problem with your Internet connection, or you get stuck in line at the post office when a bunch of old ladies (who are permanently in the Happy Playground) don't understand basic instructions. Defeating the trolls (sometimes many a day) is necessary, and they reveal everything that the IG Monkey hates about the Dark Woods. The longer you spend engaging with the YSNP Trolls, the louder the IG Monkey's begging to go to the Dark Playground becomes. You'll need the cunning wit of Bilbo Baggins to proceed with spirits high. Reply Replies SSaam muueell ZZaam moorraa November 7, 2013 at 9:38 AM Yeap, I know those two. U don't have to be a compulsive procrastinator to deal with them constantly. Moments like those wouldnt be bad to have a magic wand, or a magic Ak47, bazooka, or anything else that clears the path nice and easy. (Don't F*ck with my concentration B*tches!) Kill the Instant Gratification Monkey! RReeppllyy

ggiioonnnnii November 6, 2013 at 2:54 PM Than you! Although it made me feel very guilty. Regards from an Italian reader. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 3:09 PM Thank you :) Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 3:43 PM Excuse me, but is that a tiny pygmy marmoset lurking in the dark playgroud in the illustration of the instant

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gratification monkey's boldest attempt at an escape? (The first time I saw a picture of a marmoset was after reading about it here. It cost me two hours of work time, but it was worth it). Oh, and thank you for a post full of innsight and useful advice and thank you even more for the best blog on internet. Keep on fighting that monkey. -Karen from NorwayReply Replies AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 4:30 PM c'mon!!! it's www.reddit.com!

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 4:42 PM That's actually Snoo, the mascot of Reddit.

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 5:36 AM Oh. Sorry. I wasn't familiar with that website. I am now, though. Thanks! RReeppllyy

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 4:18 PM I love that little reddit alien you got there in the dark playground. haha. but thank you so much, this gives me hope. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 4:27 PM "Adderall Sergeant, a salty character" hah! hilarious stuff! fantastic blog. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 5:50 PM "Nobody wants to be on Adderall" Really? I strongly beg to differ. Adderrall basically teleports me to Flow and I fucking love it. Reply

TThhee EEvvaannssttoonn D Daatteebbooookkeerr November 6, 2013 at 5:51 PM If you ever get tired of blogging once a week, consider expanding this into a book (it wouldn't take too much time in the "Dark Woods" and hit the lecture circuit. This is brilliant! My Instant Gratification Monkey took a lot of spins on the tiller this week because it knew its days were numbered! Now with the second half of your missive, I'm outfitting that monkey with a harness, and we are going to MOVE FORWARD to The Happy Playground, brick by brick. Reply

M Maaii November 6, 2013 at 6:03 PM I am going to lure the Instant Gratification Monkey and myself to the Critical Entrance. Tomorrow. Yes, definitely. No, really! (Thank you, WBW Person! I love your blog and this post is one of my favorites. Love from <3) Reply

O OM MFFGGIITTSSRRO OH HIITT November 6, 2013 at 6:10 PM This is hands down your most informative, and helpful, yet. Btw, you had said in your earlier post (Putting Time in Perspective) that "The most important skill of a species intelligent enough to understand both their insignificance and their mortality is the capability for distraction." If I put this statement and the above post together, it seems that the instant gratification monkey is of some use after all, whether in the dark or happy playground. Without the instant gratification monkey, we'd do nothing. We'd just waste away, knowing we don't matter and never will. The instant

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gratification monkey is responsible for fantasizing about the beautiful mansion, while the rational decision maker is responsible for laying the bricks while preventing the monkey from getting ahead of himself. By the time they cross the tipping point and enter the happy playground together, they'd have finally begun to co-exist. Hence, it appears that it is necessary for them both to co-exist. This is why I think even the non-procrastinator's brain would have an instant gratification monkey, except, it'd be on a leash. "I think long-term" sounds like the non-procrastinator is romanticizing about the future. Any plan of action is acted upon only after romanticizing about it, which, I assume, is the job of the instant gratification monkey. Irrespectively, this is a great post and those have been burned into my brain for life. My instant gratification monkey is already romanticizing about my eventual state of flow. :) Reply Replies AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 9, 2013 at 8:46 AM You make a good point: "Maybe the instant gratification monkey is of some use" but, what if you take this a step further. What if the 'Rational Mind' is of some use...to the Monkey. Maybe the Monkey should be needs to be consulted before ordering the bricks to be laid. Does the monkey always want to derail us? Or does it know who we really are and what we really want and need at some basic level. Should we pay attention to some of its diversions? An example: someone working as an ant who obsessively wants to play guitar instead. Maybe the monkey is saying, "Putting numbers into columns is not who you are" Maybe listening to one's inner monkey can get you to re-think a practical but unfulfilling career choice. Couldn't your monkey be the one who makes you decide to stay up late playing guitar only to miss work the next day, gives you a stomach ache at every meeting, spills coffee on your boss, makes you forget to set the alarm clock? Would it help to 'kill the monkey' or should you look at these things as a sign that, deep inside, you may not be cut out to be an ant? Maybe the 'Standard Procedure-Rational Brained Bricklayer', the one who figures out time schedules and divvies out bite sized tasks, is the b*tch. In service of the inner Monkey. Who holds the leash and who wears the collar? What is 'higher intelligence', could it be a matter of figuring out when to be guided by our monkey and when he is derailing us. He does both. But maybe he's got an 'in' to our subconscious and we can learn from him. Our decision making brain needs his services because the rational mind deals only with the outer world. 'Romanticizing' , I agree, is important. I like that term, it implies that tasks and practical concerns haven't been taken into consideration. But, more importantly I think, 'romanticizing' is a good term because it's like a daydream that feels good. Daydreaming about something that feels good is the start of knowing who you are and obsessing on what we daydream about tells us if we can stick to it or are good at it-Only then should you order all those bricks. Call in the rational mind. These labels, monkey and dark playground, etc, are a wonderful start to discuss this subject. WBW person, you're amazing. But some of the comments about 'kill the monkey' are on the wrong track. I wish we could understand the good and bad sides of both the rational and irrational decisions. And not choose sides. RReeppllyy

GGuunnm meettaall GGeeiisshhaa November 6, 2013 at 6:21 PM I've refused to read blog posts over 2000 words, but with this, I was riveted - I didn't think anyone could come up with a single effective suggestion that could be employed against my personal procrastination. However, "create a Panic Monster" just might be a stroke of genius. I've only ever gotten anything done under the gun. Your - the tug of war with the monkey at the border of The Dark Woods and The Dark Playground: Going to make it my desktop picture until I start and finish the six or so tasks that have been tormenting me for weeks. Reply Replies GGuunnm meettaall GGeeiisshhaa November 16, 2013 at 3:37 PM Is it weird to reply to yourself? I feel an obligation to report that right after I posted the above comment, I did indeed make that image my desktop. I chuckle every time I open my laptop,

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because that monkey's funny. And um, I haven't once thought about the onishment the entry sign is supposed to represent. Sigh. My procrastination goes deep and might require electroshock... I mean, who tracks their own comment among hundreds?!

W Waaiitt BBuutt W Whhyy November 25, 2013 at 8:57 PM Maybe it didn't work, but I'm amused at picturing that picture on a desktop. RReeppllyy

JJuusstteenn November 6, 2013 at 8:32 PM Just today I started telling people that "I am going to take the patent bar on December 2nd" after I've been telling people I'll take it when I'm ready for the last three months. So I guess I better start studying for it :) But first I have to take a bar tending course I bought from Groupon. Damn monkey. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 8:44 PM This is one of the smartest, funniest, most helpful blogs on the internet. Great work. Reply

cchheellllssppeecckkeerr November 6, 2013 at 9:55 PM Somebody recently shared an insight with me about her procrastination, that made me think about it slightly differently. (I also suffer a lot from it) She recounted that when she was a student, she would do her assignments at the last minute and usually not end up getting a very good mark. Okay, but not great. BUT she could blame not getting a good mark on having done it at the last minute. It was an excuse that was always available. She realized that she had a terrible fear of failure. Which seems contradictory but actually makes sense. The worst possibility was that she would do HER VERY BEST on something and STILL FAIL. That was her fear. So by sabotaging her own efforts, she always had something she could blame her poor performance on. It made a lot of sense to me, and I realize I do the same thing. I'm trying to get more comfortable with the idea of failure. Some people I know have even suggested as an exercise trying to do something BADLY as a way of defusing perfectionism. There's something about the excitement of starting something with a beginner's mind, not really knowing how it will turn out out, without a huge burden of expectations, that's so much more fun than forcing myself to do something I have to do a very good job of. But I'm not very good at it myself and all of this is theoretical as I continue to self-sabotage and play with the monkey. Just thought I'd share. I love your blog. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 11:02 PM Not sure if it was mentioned above but David Allen's "Getting Things Done" has a lot of useful tools and techniques that are well applicable to this challenge (esp. breaking stuff up into manageable steps). Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 6, 2013 at 11:03 PM The Tipping point is absolutely true. That's why its so SO SO important to break your goals and tasks into smaller chunks. If instead of saying "I'm gonna write 100 pages today" you say "I'm gonna write 20 pages today," it becomes that much more manageable. For me, I'm a writer, so I keep track of 1000 word increments. I use pomodoro timers to keep myself on task, and the first 2000 words of a day are the absolute hardest. If I can push past 2300 words, I can always get to 5000-6000 words super easily. At 2300 words, I can say "Well, I really want to stop, but I'm only 700 words from 3000...." then "I'm only 1000 from 4k, and that last 700 wasn't very hard..." then "Well I'm so close..." and it just gets easier and easier. I also put my phone in the corner of the room so I can't pick it up mindlessly. That helps a ton too. Make habits and structure for yourself to combat your desire to screw around in the dark playground. It won't cure it, but it will help. Reply

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kkeellllyy bb November 6, 2013 at 11:33 PM Oh no, I've already started saying "It's not my fault, it's my monkey"! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 12:17 AM So true and enlightening xxx Reply

tthhiisslliiffeeaannddttiim meess..ccoom m November 7, 2013 at 2:45 AM Pure genius. I love this blog. :) www.thislifeandtimes.com Reply

TThhoom maass H Heecckkeerr November 7, 2013 at 4:37 AM Thank you very much! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 6:18 AM I procrastinated to read this post later . All hail to my monkey :) Reply

SSoonnyyaa November 7, 2013 at 7:49 AM Hi Dark Woods! See you later.... Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 7:55 AM Thank you very much. Reply

TToom m November 7, 2013 at 9:26 AM Hah wow, it's like you peer deep inside the inner workings of my brain! Thanks so much for this post! The brick analogy sounds a lot like Kaizen Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 9:52 AM Thank you so much for this post - I've never, ever, seen the topic of procrastination explained so lucidly, so accurately. I've read bits and pieces like this before, but you've put it together in a way that is so accurate, and accurately explains how to beat it. Thank you so much. I think this will be a life-changer for many readers. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 11:00 AM ittedly, I did enjoy the fact that you went on Google Earth to get a better feel of India (pretty cool) I realized I would do something like that too. What a great article, now that my coffee internet time is done, I should get back to my essay writing. Thank you :) Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 12:15 PM I read A LOT, and whilst I have ittedly read this amazing piece on bad-monkey time, it wasn't guilt-

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inducing in the slightest because it has shown me the way! Off to lay some bricks Reply

SSoonnyyaa November 7, 2013 at 1:01 PM Today it was the Flow! Wow) Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 7, 2013 at 1:23 PM Are you a mind-reader or something? That was 2,000 percent accurate. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 8, 2013 at 12:00 PM Melhor texto que já li na vida, obrigado. Reply

AAbbbbeeyy November 8, 2013 at 12:09 PM I procrastinated READING this post until now, just because I knew it would be motivational and good for me. Reply Replies M Myy BBaadd SSeellff November 11, 2013 at 4:59 AM Ditto. My cousin gave me the links to parts 1&2 three days ago. I only read part one last night because I needed a reason to put off doing this other project I'm supposed to be doing. I read part two just now for the same reason. Was it good for me? It’s not unpleasant to know my struggle is not unique, but on the other hand, if I could wave a magic wand and become the only person in the world with this problem, I would gladly do it. The difference between pleasure and pain while reading this article is a person's capacity for hope. As I read, I couldn't help thinking, "This guy/girl has good intentions, and maybe I'm about to find the magic bullet to happiness, but when I reach the end of this blog, and have read all the comments, and look up at my physical surroundings, the vast silent emptiness will be waiting." Then again, that's why I have Adderall, two dogs, and three computers. The Dark Playground won’t seem so bad, if one arrives at the Happy Playground and discovers it’s just a vacant lot. Don’t listen to me. Like the blog author wrote, “I have problems.” RReeppllyy

ddoonnjjooee November 8, 2013 at 1:08 PM What about the haunting uncertainty about whether there isn't some other grand project (with completely different bricks) that you'd be better off working on? Grand visionaries can have multiple incompatible grand visions, you know. Reply Replies M Myy BBaadd SSeellff November 11, 2013 at 10:33 AM donjoe: you've nailed the essence of my personal tendency for procrastination. Although I don't claim to be a "grand visionary" [at least not without proper encouragement, such as financial remuneration, flattery I can't see through, or the chance to give every dog on Earth a safe and loving home], and without making claims to greatness, I nonetheless my assured status as a person who unceasingly strives for virtue. The extent to which I succeed is under debate, naturally, until I find a satisfactory definition of "virtue." Meanwhile, the voice in my head continues to defend my every action against imaginary parental disapproval (a.k.a. “the superego,” for the Freudians among us). Even now, donjoe, your post begs the question: would my parents not condemn my contributions here? Is this what I "should" be doing? Do I give a rip? If not—where did the question come from? Growing up, honestly, I never

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much cared (consciously) whether my parents approved. I learned early on they would always criticize my independent choices. Isn't that what parents do? Gosh, how insensitive of me. To any parents reading this, I intend no offense. [That part, at least, I mean sincerely.] Please don't think I'm prejudiced against parents. [I detect a joke approaching.] No, really, some of my best friends are parents. [Is this going where I think?] Actually, I’m cool with anything parents do in private. [Careful—irony’s a crime in some states.] I’ve heard parents even teach in public schools nowadays. [Dude, don't say it...] Who am I to judge? [Doh!! He said it. I wash my hands. I don't know this guy.] RReeppllyy

TTiim mm mm miiii November 8, 2013 at 7:29 PM Thank you for this. it truly resonates. i try so hard and fail time and time and time again. i'll give it another go right now. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 9, 2013 at 10:29 AM I... I laughed a little bit TOO hysterical at the Reddit alien up there... Thank you VERY MUCH for these blog posts, they're arriving at just the right moment for me. I think I'll take you up on your offer of email-reminding me about my task. First, I need to decide what's most important right now. Reply

CCaam miillllee November 9, 2013 at 11:06 AM Excellent essay! You are an inspiration! Also, your Tuesday posts inspired me to post every Saturday. At first I worried that on Saturday morning I wouldn't be able to come up with anything. But my friend BJ told me, "You don't have to wait until Saturday to write." Whoa! So now I write whenever I want and publish on Saturday. Which works great as long as I stay ahead of the game. Thanks for the inspiration. Your blog is my new favorite blog! Reply

JJoohhnn GGuuiittttaarr November 9, 2013 at 1:16 PM omg scrolling through india what a great idea Reply

M M November 9, 2013 at 7:11 PM I think I was not procrastinating while reading your two posts on that topic. You conducted such an in-depth analysis! You made me laugh but also think seriously. I love the idea of creating a Panic Monster. Questions: when you are a true procrastinator, do you procrastinate in everything: job, sports, relationships, projects….? Or can we be “specialized” procrastinators? (For example you can succeed in completing your job tasks on time but always failing in doing sports..). Thank you from a new French reader. Reply Replies W Waaiitt BBuutt W Whhyy November 25, 2013 at 9:06 PM A true procrastinator procrastinates on everything that's hard that no one is making him/her do and that doesn't involve panic. And usually the important things are the biggest victims.

SSaam maanntthhaa W W.. December 6, 2013 at 12:42 AM I think you can be a bit specialized. I am a full blown procrastinator with everything but I started a job in June and am doing pretty well keeping up. It is only part time but the environment is so conducive to getting your stuff done. There are not too many distractions. I would say that, some dark playgrounds are less enticing than others. I mean, if you are blowing off schoolwork and can

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leave the house, the dark playground has tons of great play equipment. There are monkey bars and games and room to run and play and tire swings and slides and so on. But, if you are stuck in an office that blocks all the social networking sites and does not have many distractions, well, the dark playground is more like a playground you would find in an underfunded ghetto. There is some patchy grass and maybe a crooked swing, but the monkey is not going to fight as hard to stay. RReeppllyy

D Deebb November 10, 2013 at 4:37 AM Omg I love you ahaha Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 10, 2013 at 4:48 AM Thanks, I'm procrastinating now reading the great stuff you have on your blog! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 10, 2013 at 11:27 AM Hi man, I just wanted to thank you for your great blogs. They are well written and spot on (at least for me). Thank you for writing them! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 10, 2013 at 1:24 PM Thanks man, it was helpful. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 11, 2013 at 12:12 AM Thank you. Your apt description of Procrastination and how to overcome it has set me free. Characterising the key parts involved in procrastination within the human psyche and describing how they all interact with one another was the missing piece of the puzzle for me. I, like you, am trying to cure myself. I've made a tonne of notes which I revisit every so often, but you have brought them all together with this series of posts. One image that helped bring it together for me is the Rational Decision Maker and The Instant Gratification Monkey watching TV together on the couch and flying together in the FLOW rainbow. They are not enemies or parties who have had to grudgingly form an alliance working to put fires out afterall (as I once positioned them to be in my mind (think Vegeta vs Goku / Kakarot)), they're two of the same family who did not understand one another. Now that I understand this, I can make them communicate and work together on common goals. I'm guessing my next research piece is going to be on schizophrenia *twisted grin* -- quite seriously though - a very genuine "thank you"; you have made a difference in my life. Thank you again. Reply

M Myy BBaadd SSeellff November 11, 2013 at 5:39 AM On NPR recently, "This American Life," I believe, a man told the story of his recovery from mental illness. His symptoms included debilitating over-analysis and self-doubt, which caused him to check and recheck and plan and re-plan, ad infinitum. After more than a dozen sessions (20+, I think) of electroconvulsive therapy (ECT), he was doing well enough that the doctors allowed him to leave the hospital grounds for a day of unsupervised freedom. When he was out and about, at a gas-station, I think, with a convenience store, he found himself conversing with a mechanic on duty who said something that completely changed his life for the better. According to the patient's story, what the mechanic said that day seemed to cure him in an instant. It took a

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while to convince the doctors, and even longer to assemble a decent life for himself, but according to the man's story, after hearing what the mechanic said, no more psychiatric therapy was needed. During the conversation, responding to the mechanic's questions, the man had explained what had happened, all the symptoms he had been having, how it had ruined his life, and how much progress he had made. The mechanic was unimpressed. "You're not sick," the mechanic said. "You don't need doctors. You just need to say, 'Fuck it.' Just keep saying 'Fuck it.' You'll be better in no time." Maybe it happened that way. Maybe it’s just a story. Food for thought. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 11, 2013 at 11:18 AM It's hard to put into words how much this article and its first part have meant to a serial procrastinator like me. I've gone through the gamut of articles on this to get to the bottom of the problem, since without that I knew I couldn't permanently solve it. Some came very close, but you completely nailed it! As a procrastinator I finally feel understood and see light at the end of the endless tunnel because: 1-You know what it's like personally, so you don't use frustrating platitudes and oversimplifications 2-You give concrete images and names to abstract, hazy things we feel but have trouble disambiguating 3-You keep it funny and light, just the opposite of all those dark, depressing feelings of the Dark Playground and the Dark Woods 4-You give a sense of hope because of your clear reasoning and steps for the way out! Even though I'd already known some of what you mentioned, such as the clear and measurable goals, it was your sympathetic presentation that got it through to me in a meaningful way. It's been a while since I laughed so hard, gasping for air at your descriptions of your tangent off to India on Google Earth, at the Instant Gratification Monkey's resistance to make the Critical Entrance...just everything. What eye openers. It all rings so true. And the truth sets us free. Thank you, more than I can say, for your honesty in writing this and for the time invested in putting this together! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 12, 2013 at 5:48 AM Hi, I want to talk to you regarding publishing a paid tech article in huffingtonpost.com/waitbuywhy Please me at [email protected] Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 12, 2013 at 11:00 AM Why Procrastination Doesn't Need A Cure--And Might Even Make You More Productive http://www.fastcompany.com/3021253/work-smart/why-procrastination-doesnt-need-a-cure-and-mighteven-make-you-more-productive Reply

AARRCP November 13, 2013 at 11:14 AM just read this in four hours. Reply

AAnnnnaa PPaallm meerr November 14, 2013 at 9:54 AM I wonder a lot about the link between procrastination and perfectionism. I tried to use the mantra "done is good" and it helped just about as much as it sounds. Not really at all. I think I have crafted my entire adult life into one huge procrastination station. It isn't so much a playground anymore because it is a bit outside of my head, but I volunteer for shit, deal with other people's problems, them at events. This could all take on the label of good friendship. Instead I think I have checked into procrastination station. If I fill all my available hours of the day with "helping" then how can I possibly create or WORSE maintain something by and for myself. Impossible really. That little monkey has gotten much smarter than he was when I earned a- s instead of a's on my college papers. As I explore Zen Buddhism I begin to wonder if this

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is the ultimate answer, or the ultimate avoidance, staying mindful and present, unattached and without ego, is like the fun mirror version of procrastination. Reply

KKeevviinn November 15, 2013 at 7:37 PM Amazingly great; it's all about the bricks... Thanks so much for all your posts. Reply

VViittaa November 18, 2013 at 10:33 AM Hi Tim! Terribly liked your text. Would you mind if I post the Russian translation of it on my facebook? Just as an excercise in translation, which I procrastinated for a month by the way!)) Reply Replies W Waaiitt BBuutt W Whhyy November 22, 2013 at 4:25 PM Yup! That should be fine—email us at [email protected] for our guidelines about this kind of thing.

SSoonnyyaa December 5, 2013 at 3:16 PM I've also tried to do good translation of this amazing articles and realized that this is so difficult to create valid Russian versions of all the names of that specific creatures, because it sounds so weird if simply translate it. In Russian even Procrastination is not very spread term and definitely not clear for all the readers. Can you share link with Russian translation with me? I'm really curious how you dealed with it! [email protected] RReeppllyy

O OM MFFGGIITTSSRRO OH HIITT November 26, 2013 at 1:37 PM Toiling in the dark playground externalizes my locus of control and leaves me feeling emasculated. Since I read this piece, I've been better able to keep myself off the dark playground by effectively finding way to sustain my IGM on self-esteem bananas. But at one point, I manage to stop and realize that self-esteem bananas are only a way to distract myself from the reality of my insignificance. That I cannot handle this reality and that I need to feed my IGM with self-esteem bananas to 'feel' in control (when I actually am not) is also emasculating on another level. However, this sense of emasculation is not as strongly and deeply felt as the one felt from the former scenario i.e. toiling in the dark playground. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss November 28, 2013 at 5:13 PM Thank you for all the effort, it feels like you care!... BTW: I kinda read these 2 posts as work, and not as playing in the dark playground (both because it's in English, and because I was recommended to read it, as "something that actually helps!"). Genie Reply

AAllrriigghhttBBaabb?? November 30, 2013 at 7:15 PM This is flipping amazing. I've read loads of 'professional advice' articles about getting things done, but this is unique. You bring character and humour to the problem. My IGM is ALWAYS dragging me off somewhere else. I'm gonna tame that b*tch. Reply

SSkkaa AAkkss December 2, 2013 at 4:16 AM Just gonna pin this and read it later...

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Reply

LLiinnddaa GGaavviinn December 2, 2013 at 4:36 PM

Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 2, 2013 at 8:37 PM Loved your article. I've been dealing with procrastination/ADHD for years and have done a lot of the same self-interpretation of it as you have (although I have different names like the Dark Void and the 4-year-old). To expand on the monkey's repulsion of the Dark Woods, I've found that he's not only motivated by fun, but also repelled from the woods by several monsters. (failure, rejection, and negative judgement) The key to getting the monkey into the forest is re-assuring him he'll have lots of fun on the other side of the woods, AND convincing him that the monsters he fears won't hurt him. In the case of ADHD, the monkey is so high-anxiety and nervous that it can be extremely difficult to coax it into the woods. Adderall does an amazing job of calming the monkey down and creating a sense of confidence that allows him to walk into the woods without fear. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 3, 2013 at 4:38 PM for me the only way to calm down the monkey has been pills. I tried for years to play it nice with this tricks but it was becoming a god damn gorilla. For person with anxiety disorders I would also suggest in your list go to a Psychiatrist :p Reply

M Maarryy @ @ FFiitt aanndd FFeedd December 3, 2013 at 6:14 PM This is great. Loved part one also, especially the lead. I'm glad I discovered your blog today, just subscribed. More on this along with all the other fun things, please! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 3, 2013 at 10:33 PM As I was reading these articles, I ed that Eric Berne talked about procrastination somewhere in Games People Play (possibly one of his other books). It seems a lot of procrastination has to do with perfectionism -- as long as I don't produce, I won't be shown up for the failure I am. The commenter who said he decided he could produce just as well in a day as in 10 seems to be blessedly free of this. Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 4, 2013 at 1:55 AM Funny, just this morning, I found out that I am scheduled for a "come-to-Jesus" meeting with the Dean over my department. The subject? My performance, deeply rooted in procrastination. Reply

aaccoouum meerriillhh December 4, 2013 at 9:11 AM I ABSOLUTELY LOVE these two posts about procrastination, because they articulate and clarify exactly the madness I have struggled with everyday of my life. However, there is a couple more dimensions of it for me. They have to do with indecision/second-guessing decisions, perfectionism, and getting stuck in flow. So, the "Instant Gratification Monkey" is just one of the reasons I have a hard time getting to "The Critical Entrance" and through "The Dark Woods" of the task to the "Tipping Point." Another contributing factor is that as I am on my way to start a task, or as I am doing it. I am haunted by the "Ghost of Doubt." This ghost is comes around and brings up questions like. "Should you even be doing this? Maybe you picked the wrong thing to make a priority, or chose it for the wrong reasons. Maybe you have forgotten something really important while trying to focus on this that you will regret later once you realize it. You know that urgent thing, or other also important thing, you decided to put off, because this was more important, maybe that really was more important to deal with now. If you don't check into XYorZ you will forget about it till its to late."….etc. All sorts of reasons to stop the task and go elsewhere. ALSO, guilt of doing something I want, or think is important is something I struggle will too.

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Then, there is the "Growing Power Pill of Perfectionism." It sometimes appears within the "Dark Woods" and sometimes within "Flow." Either way, it lengthens the task, expands the brick. The result is that I don't ever get to the tipping point, or if it is in the flow portion, it expands "what needs to be done" more and more until the panic monster shows up for another reason, jarring me out of the happy flow state. Even if perfectionism is not a contributing factor, I can get stuck in the flow state and this takes up a lot of time needed to accomplish other necessary bricks in my life. In these cases I end up landing back in "Mixed Feelings Park," because even though I accomplished the task, and maybe even very well, it was at the expense of something else important. Add, that I tend to take longer to do things than "typical" anyway and people tend to be unhappy with what I do no matter how well done, or brilliant it is, because it took too long. So, I could go into more nuances of the whys and results of my predicament and/or I could spend more time perfecting the points I have already made. However, in an attempt to not let the "Growing Power Pill of Perfectionism" kick in, I will stop now. Any suggestions for these topics? Reply

CChhrriiss December 4, 2013 at 6:22 PM Great piece. What I find difficult: - When you under-perform with Mixed Feelings but everyone around you is still impressed. What is the point of doing even better? - Also, and unfortunately, when I'm in the flow.... I have to have some dinner, do other priority stuff first...and the flow is gone. Sometimes hard to get back to it. Reply

H Haannnnaahh December 4, 2013 at 6:34 PM Please, please do not stop writing things like this. It so so so so applies to me. I have ADD and I'm a major procrastinator (yet also strangely a perfectionist). Also, maybe you could write an article discussing how to get over procrastination, specifically as a writer. I'm in college and an aspiring journalist/writer and this would be so helpful. :) Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 5, 2013 at 7:59 AM My monkey loved the first post. It didn't like the second. Skipped to the end. Eating cake now and scolling through the comments. Can you perhaps make a summary version please. I really want to read the long one, but the monkey Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 5, 2013 at 12:58 PM I really want to read all of this but I have 2 finals tomorrow, plus I just saw a link to TWENTY COW PHOTOBOMBS! Reply

AAnnoonnyym moouuss December 5, 2013 at 3:32 PM Great work you describe my habits perfectly, I wanna get over this definitively Reply

SSaam maanntthhaa W W December 7, 2013 at 3:31 AM Wow, I read this 2 or 3 days ago and commented and farted around and didn't do my schoolwork while thinking about how great this article is. But tonight I was on facebook and I just thought, "I'm in the dark playground." and I realized I didn't want to be there and I got to work! I finished my 5 1/2 pg spanish essay and submitted it to officially finish up one of my 3 classes this term. 2 to go but I feel more confident even just having the vocabulary to pinpoint what I am doing and why. Thank you! Reply

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