The.simpsons.s27e15.hdtv.x264-killers..txt 6s1az

1 00:00:00,686 --> 00:00:04,686 ♪ The Simpsons 27x15 ♪ Lisa the Veterinarian Original Air Date on March 6, 2016 2 00:00:27,335 --> 00:00:32,335 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 3 00:00:32,914 --> 00:00:35,982 Wow, an indoor water park. 4 00:00:36,017 --> 00:00:38,117 Hopefully, this will put the final nail in the coffin 5 00:00:38,152 --> 00:00:39,118 of lakes and rivers. 6 00:00:39,153 --> 00:00:40,386 Well, as a mother, I... 7 00:00:40,421 --> 00:00:42,288 We all know you're a mother. 8 00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:45,324 As a mother, I like that wherever I look, 9 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:46,959 I can see a lifeguard. 10 00:00:48,329 --> 00:00:50,329 I'm finding Nemo! 11 00:00:55,003 --> 00:00:57,269 I saw heaven! 12 00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:02,241 My head! 13 00:01:10,785 --> 00:01:12,652 Mom! Bart got my hair wet,

14 00:01:12,687 --> 00:01:15,354 and I wasn't ready to get it wet yet! 15 00:01:16,391 --> 00:01:18,491 Hmm. 16 00:01:18,526 --> 00:01:20,526 I'm afraid you're going in the kiddie pool. 17 00:01:21,996 --> 00:01:25,564 Oh. I've had baths that were more exciting. Baths! 18 00:01:27,001 --> 00:01:29,101 Oh, my God, a plastic ring. 19 00:01:29,137 --> 00:01:30,736 Out of my way, you little twerps! 20 00:01:32,507 --> 00:01:34,173 I want that ring. 21 00:01:34,208 --> 00:01:35,908 Ow! 22 00:01:35,943 --> 00:01:38,144 Hmm. 23 00:01:38,179 --> 00:01:40,446 Hey, uh, do you have any waterslides 24 00:01:40,481 --> 00:01:42,481 for the gentleman of leisurely proportions? 25 00:01:42,517 --> 00:01:43,983 Right this way, sir. 26 00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:46,052 This park specializes in extra-wide

27 00:01:46,087 --> 00:01:49,288 double-reinforced tubing for the modern American fatso. 28 00:01:49,323 --> 00:01:50,856 Oh, well. 29 00:01:50,892 --> 00:01:53,893 Cola wars veteran coming through! 30 00:01:53,928 --> 00:01:56,862 Woo-hoo! I'm exercising! 31 00:02:02,270 --> 00:02:04,003 Awesome. 32 00:02:04,038 --> 00:02:06,238 Milhouse, how long you been waiting in line? 33 00:02:06,274 --> 00:02:08,674 You mean you didn't use the app last week 34 00:02:08,710 --> 00:02:11,010 to get your Slammin' Salmon line number? 35 00:02:11,045 --> 00:02:12,912 What are you, Amish? 36 00:02:15,083 --> 00:02:17,616 All right, time to thin out the herd. 37 00:02:21,522 --> 00:02:22,988 Attention, bathers, 38 00:02:23,024 --> 00:02:25,858 this is water park president Cal A. Bunga. 39 00:02:25,893 --> 00:02:28,828 Do not panic,

but the pools are infested 40 00:02:28,863 --> 00:02:32,164 with those tiny fish that swim up your wiener. 41 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,366 Get out of the way! 42 00:02:34,402 --> 00:02:36,202 Again, do not panic. 43 00:02:36,237 --> 00:02:39,538 If you think a wiener fish has entered your dingus, 44 00:02:39,574 --> 00:02:43,375 the only cure is to roll around naked in the snow. 45 00:02:50,852 --> 00:02:53,919 Uh, Lou, I need a big favor from you. 46 00:02:53,955 --> 00:02:56,956 Oh, man. I... They don't train you for this at the academy. 47 00:02:56,991 --> 00:02:58,324 Well, they should. 48 00:03:06,367 --> 00:03:08,467 Whee! Yes! 49 00:03:16,711 --> 00:03:19,145 Oh, dear God! Bio breach! 50 00:03:27,955 --> 00:03:29,889 That poor raccoon! 51 00:03:29,924 --> 00:03:31,824 Isn't anyone gonna do anything? 52 00:03:31,859 --> 00:03:35,694 He committed nature's greatest

crime: coming inside. 53 00:03:40,401 --> 00:03:42,668 No heartbeat. 54 00:03:42,703 --> 00:03:45,738 Finally, a chance to use my online R training. 55 00:03:45,773 --> 00:03:47,406 One, two, three, four five. 56 00:03:48,442 --> 00:03:49,942 One, two, three, four, five. 57 00:03:50,978 --> 00:03:52,611 Lisa has a boyfriend! 58 00:03:52,647 --> 00:03:54,346 Lisa has a boyfriend! 59 00:03:54,382 --> 00:03:56,315 Oh, a boyfriend? 60 00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:59,084 And raccoons are such good providers. 61 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:00,686 Come on, come on. 62 00:04:00,721 --> 00:04:02,755 You have so much more trash to eat. 63 00:04:02,790 --> 00:04:06,091 Steal one more breath, noble bandit. 64 00:04:07,962 --> 00:04:09,795 It worked. I saved you. 65 00:04:10,832 --> 00:04:12,431 My first rescue. 66

00:04:12,466 --> 00:04:14,834 And my first real kiss. 67 00:04:14,869 --> 00:04:18,370 She'd have chosen me if I was wearing a real bathing suit. 68 00:04:20,975 --> 00:04:24,109 For once, a life saved at a Springfield water park, 69 00:04:24,145 --> 00:04:25,945 where a quick-thinking second grader 70 00:04:25,980 --> 00:04:30,015 performed emergency R on a drowning nuisance animal, 71 00:04:30,051 --> 00:04:33,886 while dozens of unheroic onlookers just stood around. 72 00:04:33,921 --> 00:04:35,454 Where was Channel Six news? 73 00:04:35,489 --> 00:04:38,224 Filming gas pumps and their ever-changing prices. 74 00:04:38,259 --> 00:04:41,493 Which accomplishes what? I don't know. 75 00:04:43,164 --> 00:04:44,964 There's eight minutes left. 76 00:04:44,999 --> 00:04:46,799 Uh, did we do gas prices? 77 00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:48,667 Yes! 78 00:04:50,071 --> 00:04:51,704 We saw you on the picture radio.

79 00:04:51,739 --> 00:04:53,706 They chyroned your name. 80 00:04:53,741 --> 00:04:56,175 They described you as "Local Girl." 81 00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:57,443 Hubba, hubba. 82 00:04:57,478 --> 00:04:59,745 They sure got that right. 83 00:04:59,780 --> 00:05:02,414 Lisa, it looks like you're the perfect student to look after 84 00:05:02,450 --> 00:05:04,416 Nibbles the hamster here during spring break. 85 00:05:04,452 --> 00:05:05,751 I'd take him with me, 86 00:05:05,786 --> 00:05:07,853 but I'm doing Jell-O shots with former students. 87 00:05:07,889 --> 00:05:11,357 This spring break, I'm gonna go wild with responsibility! 88 00:05:11,392 --> 00:05:14,760 My dad's spending spring break in a cage, too. 89 00:05:14,795 --> 00:05:18,197 And for saving that raccoon, I got the opposite of teasing. 90 00:05:18,232 --> 00:05:20,566 I bet the Germans have a word for it, like, uh, 91

00:05:20,601 --> 00:05:23,102 gerstronkenplatzen or something. 92 00:05:23,137 --> 00:05:26,405 I wish the Germans had a word for this terrible traffic. 93 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:29,375 And so ends the moment being about me. 94 00:05:29,410 --> 00:05:31,110 What's going on, Chief? 95 00:05:31,145 --> 00:05:32,745 Oh, nasty car crash. 96 00:05:32,780 --> 00:05:34,213 Can't let traffic through 97 00:05:34,248 --> 00:05:36,782 until the cleanup crew mops up this mess. 98 00:05:36,817 --> 00:05:38,284 Which is a problem, 99 00:05:38,319 --> 00:05:41,453 because they're stuck in traffic behind you. 100 00:05:41,489 --> 00:05:42,922 Okay, who did that?! 101 00:05:42,957 --> 00:05:44,456 We need to get home. 102 00:05:44,492 --> 00:05:46,692 I left my father-in-law on the sofa. 103 00:05:46,727 --> 00:05:48,427 He's got to be turned. 104 00:05:48,462 --> 00:05:49,795

Yeah, well, that ain't gonna happen. 105 00:05:49,830 --> 00:05:52,131 Not unless you clean up this accident scene. 106 00:05:52,166 --> 00:05:53,732 Actually, seriously, could you do that? 107 00:05:53,768 --> 00:05:55,434 Hmm, I don't know. 108 00:05:55,469 --> 00:05:57,202 I'm one of those people who doesn't like 109 00:05:57,238 --> 00:06:00,105 being traumatized by horrifying sights. 110 00:06:00,141 --> 00:06:02,408 Marge, do you know why I became a cop? 111 00:06:02,443 --> 00:06:03,976 If you do, could you tell me? 112 00:06:04,011 --> 00:06:05,778 'Cause it's-it's really dangerous. 113 00:06:05,813 --> 00:06:08,614 B-But these crime scene cleanups, they're totally safe. 114 00:06:08,649 --> 00:06:11,283 All the bad people are dead or, uh, at large. 115 00:06:11,319 --> 00:06:12,651 So give it a shot. 116 00:06:12,687 --> 00:06:15,955 Please. Please, Mom.

117 00:06:15,990 --> 00:06:17,323 Huh? 118 00:06:17,358 --> 00:06:19,425 Oh, all right. 119 00:06:28,102 --> 00:06:30,502 There you go. Spick and span. 120 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:35,174 Wow, you even made the homeless guy look nice. 121 00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:37,476 Yeah, still crazy though. 122 00:06:37,511 --> 00:06:39,011 You know, Marge, uh, you ever want 123 00:06:39,046 --> 00:06:41,146 some fast extra cash, we are always 124 00:06:41,182 --> 00:06:43,615 looking for crime scene cleaner-uppers. 125 00:06:43,651 --> 00:06:46,352 You know what they say: crime always pays. 126 00:06:47,555 --> 00:06:49,421 Plus, you can keep any money you find, 127 00:06:49,457 --> 00:06:52,358 and any jewelry that isn't monogrammed. 128 00:06:58,499 --> 00:07:00,366 Hello, little girl. 129 00:07:00,401 --> 00:07:03,435 Oh, does your hamster

have Tyzzer's disease? 130 00:07:03,471 --> 00:07:04,937 That would've been interesting, 131 00:07:04,972 --> 00:07:07,873 but I swabbed him for Tyzzer's and it came up negative. 132 00:07:07,908 --> 00:07:11,010 My. You certainly know a lot about animals. 133 00:07:11,045 --> 00:07:12,778 That's just it, I do. 134 00:07:12,813 --> 00:07:14,613 I saved a raccoon's life the other day. 135 00:07:14,648 --> 00:07:16,348 It was the best feeling I've ever had. 136 00:07:16,384 --> 00:07:18,450 Is there any way I could work in your office? 137 00:07:18,486 --> 00:07:20,953 I mean, as an intern or anything? 138 00:07:20,988 --> 00:07:24,890 Oh, do you know how many people walk in here every day 139 00:07:24,925 --> 00:07:26,725 looking for just such a thing? 140 00:07:26,761 --> 00:07:28,127 A lot, I bet. 141 00:07:28,162 --> 00:07:29,862 No, it's never happened. 142

00:07:29,897 --> 00:07:32,798 Grab a clean smock and follow me. 143 00:07:32,833 --> 00:07:34,867 Oh, okay! 144 00:07:35,936 --> 00:07:37,469 I can't find a clean smock. 145 00:07:37,505 --> 00:07:41,306 Then your first job is to clean the smocks. 146 00:07:42,343 --> 00:07:43,742 I'm ready, Dr. Budgie. 147 00:07:43,778 --> 00:07:46,712 Oh, it's a shame to ruin such a clean smock, 148 00:07:46,747 --> 00:07:48,213 but, uh, let's go. 149 00:07:48,249 --> 00:07:50,282 Hmm. 150 00:07:55,189 --> 00:07:56,922 This is heaven. 151 00:07:56,957 --> 00:07:58,557 You got to help me, Doc. 152 00:07:58,592 --> 00:08:01,727 My pet ferret has lost its terrible stink! 153 00:08:01,762 --> 00:08:03,228 Well, that won't do. 154 00:08:03,264 --> 00:08:05,064 Let me have a go at jump-starting 155 00:08:05,099 --> 00:08:06,665 the old stink gland.

156 00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,234 Lisa, my dear, can you restrain the ferret? 157 00:08:09,270 --> 00:08:11,303 It would be my honor. 158 00:08:14,141 --> 00:08:15,307 Clear! 159 00:08:17,178 --> 00:08:19,111 We have stink lines! 160 00:08:19,146 --> 00:08:20,979 Well done, Lisa. 161 00:08:21,015 --> 00:08:22,047 Heaven! 162 00:08:22,083 --> 00:08:24,049 Ew. 163 00:08:27,953 --> 00:08:31,488 All right, Veggie Kibble for Daisy here. 164 00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:33,957 Chairman Meow is having surgery tomorrow, 165 00:08:33,992 --> 00:08:35,592 so only liquid for you. 166 00:08:35,627 --> 00:08:37,894 And no more food for you, Mr. Snake, 167 00:08:37,929 --> 00:08:40,096 until you finish shedding your skin. 168 00:08:41,767 --> 00:08:43,433 Oh. You have. 169

00:08:43,468 --> 00:08:47,137 Dr. Budgie, I'm really enjoying cleaning out these cages. 170 00:08:47,172 --> 00:08:50,640 No, really, I am, but are there any jobs that are more exciting? 171 00:08:50,675 --> 00:08:52,208 Absolutely. 172 00:08:52,244 --> 00:08:54,010 You can hobble these crickets. 173 00:08:54,045 --> 00:08:57,614 We have a hungry chameleon who's slowing down with age, 174 00:08:57,649 --> 00:09:00,283 but he still loves the thrill of the hunt. 175 00:09:00,318 --> 00:09:02,318 Mm. Anything more life or deathy? 176 00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:04,354 I could take the animals' temperature. 177 00:09:04,389 --> 00:09:06,923 I know what that means, and I am up for it. 178 00:09:06,958 --> 00:09:08,992 Oh, Lisa, slow down. 179 00:09:09,027 --> 00:09:11,661 Do you know how many awkward courses I had to take 180 00:09:11,696 --> 00:09:14,130 before they let me put my arm inside a horse? 181 00:09:14,166 --> 00:09:15,498

I understand. 182 00:09:15,534 --> 00:09:17,801 I just feel like I could be doing more. 183 00:09:17,836 --> 00:09:20,370 Oh, you remind me of a certain young man 184 00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:23,339 growing up in Stratfordshire-on-Corningwell. 185 00:09:23,375 --> 00:09:25,041 He, too, was impatient. 186 00:09:25,076 --> 00:09:27,076 Always thinking he could do more. 187 00:09:27,112 --> 00:09:28,311 Was that you? 188 00:09:28,346 --> 00:09:31,147 No. If that was me, I would have said "me." 189 00:09:31,183 --> 00:09:34,851 This eager beaver had to leave veterinary school 190 00:09:34,886 --> 00:09:37,921 and become-- ugh-a people doctor. 191 00:09:37,956 --> 00:09:39,255 Ooh. 192 00:09:39,291 --> 00:09:41,658 And with the 27th pick of the 14th round 193 00:09:41,693 --> 00:09:45,061 of the NHL draft, the Phoenix Coyotes select...

194 00:09:45,096 --> 00:09:47,397 Lubochuck, Lubochuck, Lubochuck, Lubochuck. 195 00:09:47,432 --> 00:09:48,998 ...Cédric Bélanger. 196 00:09:49,034 --> 00:09:50,300 But Lubochuck. 197 00:09:50,335 --> 00:09:52,869 Homie, I think we need a new ceiling fan. 198 00:09:52,904 --> 00:09:54,771 The old one doesn't seem safe. 199 00:09:56,441 --> 00:09:59,475 It's fine. And it saves us money on haircuts. 200 00:10:00,779 --> 00:10:02,312 Not bad, but I miss 201 00:10:02,347 --> 00:10:04,447 the social aspects of the barbershop. 202 00:10:05,917 --> 00:10:08,318 The St. Louis Blues are now on the clock. 203 00:10:08,353 --> 00:10:10,753 Lubochuck, Lubochuck, Lubochuck, Lubochuck. 204 00:10:10,789 --> 00:10:12,055 Hmm. 205 00:10:12,757 --> 00:10:14,123 Springfield PD. 206 00:10:14,159 --> 00:10:16,192 PD... police department!

207 00:10:16,228 --> 00:10:17,894 Ha! I just got that. 208 00:10:17,929 --> 00:10:20,029 Chief, Chief, this is Marge Simpson. 209 00:10:20,065 --> 00:10:23,566 I think I'd like to do some of those crime scene cleanups. 210 00:10:23,602 --> 00:10:24,567 Oh, great, great. 211 00:10:24,603 --> 00:10:26,336 Hey, I got a job for you right here. 212 00:10:26,371 --> 00:10:27,770 Uh, murder-suicide. 213 00:10:27,806 --> 00:10:29,806 Or possibly a suicide-murder. 214 00:10:29,841 --> 00:10:32,408 Just bring a mop and your imagination. 215 00:10:32,444 --> 00:10:34,744 Hey, it can't be worse than what I've seen. 216 00:10:34,779 --> 00:10:37,814 Homer, I told you not to eat chili out of the colander! 217 00:10:37,849 --> 00:10:40,250 Uh, it's pronounced "calendar." 218 00:10:41,286 --> 00:10:42,919 What's the matter, little guy? 219 00:10:42,954 --> 00:10:44,587 You haven't touched your berries.

220 00:10:44,623 --> 00:10:47,090 Do you need aphids for flavor? 221 00:10:47,125 --> 00:10:49,259 Mmm. Aphids. 222 00:10:49,294 --> 00:10:52,262 Lisa, could you come here for a moment? 223 00:10:52,297 --> 00:10:55,131 At last. 224 00:10:55,166 --> 00:10:58,134 I'm trying to give this Saint Bernard a shot, 225 00:10:58,169 --> 00:11:00,136 but my hands are a little shaky. 226 00:11:00,171 --> 00:11:02,739 I had an extra gallon of tea for lunch. 227 00:11:02,774 --> 00:11:04,140 Oh, my. 228 00:11:04,175 --> 00:11:05,842 If I hold him, do you think 229 00:11:05,877 --> 00:11:08,578 you could attend to the matter of the needle? 230 00:11:08,613 --> 00:11:09,812 Of course! 231 00:11:09,848 --> 00:11:11,314 Mm. 232 00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:13,283 Careful, careful.

233 00:11:13,318 --> 00:11:15,652 A single millimeter either way 234 00:11:15,687 --> 00:11:17,520 would not make much of a difference. 235 00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:20,823 Huh. Why am I not feeling 236 00:11:20,859 --> 00:11:22,926 the same rush I did with the raccoon? 237 00:11:24,663 --> 00:11:27,297 There it is! 238 00:11:30,468 --> 00:11:32,669 Be careful, Mrs. S. 239 00:11:32,704 --> 00:11:36,406 I've never seen an angel-dustfor-guns swap go so wrong. 240 00:11:36,441 --> 00:11:38,508 Hey, a mess is a mess. 241 00:11:41,980 --> 00:11:43,279 Huh? 242 00:11:48,887 --> 00:11:51,521 Let me start with this filthy crime scene tape. 243 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,827 Yarr, is the doctor in, miss? 244 00:11:57,862 --> 00:12:01,064 Little Goldie here is listing hard to starboard. 245 00:12:01,099 --> 00:12:04,600 I fear he may have tangled with the wrong plastic diver.

246 00:12:04,636 --> 00:12:06,769 Hmm. Could be fin rot. 247 00:12:06,805 --> 00:12:09,505 Oh, no, not the big F. Arr! 248 00:12:09,541 --> 00:12:12,675 Do what you must. I'll say my good-byes. 249 00:12:12,711 --> 00:12:16,980 You were more wife to me than any woman I ever knew. 250 00:12:17,015 --> 00:12:19,148 Captain, the diagnosis of fin rot 251 00:12:19,184 --> 00:12:21,217 is not the death sentence it used to be. 252 00:12:21,252 --> 00:12:24,420 A couple drops of medicine in the water, and he'll be fine. 253 00:12:25,457 --> 00:12:26,622 Hmm. 254 00:12:27,659 --> 00:12:29,425 Yarr, that's amazing! 255 00:12:31,129 --> 00:12:34,063 Eh, I've just got one more little problem. 256 00:12:34,099 --> 00:12:38,067 He, uh... he ate me car keys. Yarr. 257 00:12:40,105 --> 00:12:43,339 Hurry, Doc! His lungs are full of seltzer! 258

00:12:52,450 --> 00:12:54,984 Homie? Notice anything? 259 00:13:01,459 --> 00:13:04,160 Um, are you having an affair? 260 00:13:04,195 --> 00:13:05,862 What? No. 261 00:13:05,897 --> 00:13:08,398 I bought a new ceiling fan. Huh? 262 00:13:08,433 --> 00:13:11,334 Ooh, I thought the air felt a little more lively. 263 00:13:11,369 --> 00:13:13,002 But where did you get the money? 264 00:13:13,038 --> 00:13:17,306 Actually, I made a little extra by cleaning up crime scenes. 265 00:13:17,342 --> 00:13:19,242 What? Poor Marge. 266 00:13:19,277 --> 00:13:21,911 I heard that can really mess you... 267 00:13:21,946 --> 00:13:24,781 Oh, baby, that cool air is sweet! 268 00:13:24,816 --> 00:13:26,082 ...up. 269 00:13:26,117 --> 00:13:29,018 Are you sure you're not living a waking nightmare? 270 00:13:29,054 --> 00:13:30,520 No. Not one little bit.

271 00:13:30,555 --> 00:13:33,089 And I get the police discount on cleaning supplies. 272 00:13:33,124 --> 00:13:36,259 I can finally clean Grampa's dentures. 273 00:13:36,294 --> 00:13:40,263 Yeah, I got popcorn in there from Kramer vs. Kramer. 274 00:13:40,298 --> 00:13:42,031 I was rooting for Kramer, 275 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:45,334 but was dismayed when Kramer finally won. 276 00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:48,004 That's a twist I didn't see Kramer. 277 00:13:51,076 --> 00:13:53,743 Happy birthday, Martin. Where's the gift table? 278 00:13:53,778 --> 00:13:57,080 Right over there, my friend. 279 00:14:00,151 --> 00:14:02,685 Haw-haw! 280 00:14:06,191 --> 00:14:08,925 Some zoo. Where are the rental strollers? 281 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,493 Actually, it's not so bad. 282 00:14:10,528 --> 00:14:12,328 The animals are healthy. 283 00:14:12,363 --> 00:14:15,431

A couple of paddock scrapes, but nothing overly concerning. 284 00:14:15,467 --> 00:14:17,667 Oh, knock it off. You're not a vet. 285 00:14:17,702 --> 00:14:19,502 You're a glorified cage scrubber. 286 00:14:19,537 --> 00:14:21,504 Dr. Budgie depends upon me! 287 00:14:21,539 --> 00:14:24,440 I have felt the cold breath of kennel cough in my face. 288 00:14:24,476 --> 00:14:27,443 I have seen tabbies that were more tick than cat. 289 00:14:27,479 --> 00:14:30,446 I know why the caged dog scoots. 290 00:14:30,482 --> 00:14:33,182 So when your lizard loses its tail, 291 00:14:33,218 --> 00:14:36,819 you're gonna need me to tell you it's gonna grow back. 292 00:14:37,856 --> 00:14:39,755 Want some peanuts, Mr. Elephant? 293 00:14:39,791 --> 00:14:41,757 Uh, it's a goat, not an elephant, 294 00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:43,326 and those are shrimp, not peanuts. 295

00:14:43,361 --> 00:14:45,328 And that goat is allergic to shrimp! 296 00:14:45,363 --> 00:14:48,131 Your breath smells like "don't drink that." 297 00:14:49,667 --> 00:14:51,467 Milhouse, give me your EpiPen! 298 00:14:51,503 --> 00:14:53,336 You're not a professional. 299 00:14:53,371 --> 00:14:55,771 I am a self-selected unpaid veterinary intern. 300 00:14:55,807 --> 00:14:58,407 Now let me practice my craft! 301 00:15:05,917 --> 00:15:07,583 Hey, he's as good as new. 302 00:15:07,619 --> 00:15:09,185 Look at him play with the kids! 303 00:15:11,422 --> 00:15:13,289 See, Bart? Life or death. 304 00:15:13,324 --> 00:15:14,891 I make the choice. 305 00:15:14,926 --> 00:15:17,360 Okay, time to cut the cake. 306 00:15:21,778 --> 00:15:23,217 That's my patient. 307 00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:27,758 Guess what, sweetie.

308 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:30,293 I'm wearing my snuggle socks. 309 00:15:30,329 --> 00:15:33,296 They're compression socks from your heart surgery. 310 00:15:33,332 --> 00:15:34,965 All the same... 311 00:15:38,670 --> 00:15:40,270 I'm not in the mood. 312 00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:42,506 What?! You've never said that before! 313 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,508 I've thought it three times. 314 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,511 Each time was after a burrito-eating contest. 315 00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:49,179 But I won! 316 00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:50,347 What's wrong? 317 00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:53,583 It's just that seeing you, lying down, 318 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:57,154 reminds me of this bloated corpse I had to clean up today. 319 00:15:57,189 --> 00:16:00,657 Hey, I look damn good for someone who eats the crap I do. 320 00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:02,859

Maybe we should just go to sleep. 321 00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:05,362 I wasn't done with my drink. 322 00:16:05,397 --> 00:16:08,331 Would you like my itty-bitty booze light? 323 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,736 I've never seen him like this. He's so listless. 324 00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:15,071 Who's lost the urge to kill? 325 00:16:15,107 --> 00:16:17,140 Who's lost the urge to kill? 326 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,876 I'll tell you what's wrong with him: you. 327 00:16:19,912 --> 00:16:21,578 What? Me?! 328 00:16:21,613 --> 00:16:23,413 This dog is badly behind on his shots. 329 00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:26,249 He's displaying the symptoms of early onset parvo. 330 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:28,185 I'm confiscating your dog. 331 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,387 And, you, get out! 332 00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:31,855 Smithers, I've

been shamed. 333 00:16:31,890 --> 00:16:33,924 Prepare a thimble of ice cream. 334 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,092 Some people don't deserve to own pets. 335 00:16:36,128 --> 00:16:38,261 And you get to decide who? 336 00:16:38,297 --> 00:16:40,564 Don't fold your arms at me. 337 00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:42,265 Lis, look at yourself. 338 00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:45,268 You've become so arrogant, you've forgotten who you are. 339 00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,904 And even worse, you've forgotten Nibbles! 340 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:51,842 Nibbles! 341 00:16:51,877 --> 00:16:53,910 My pet! My responsibility! 342 00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,445 My homework! 343 00:16:56,915 --> 00:16:58,548 Matted hair, dry tongue... 344 00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,383 Is this true, Lisa? 345 00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:04,020 Did you let this happen to a creature in your care?

346 00:17:04,056 --> 00:17:05,789 I'm so sorry. 347 00:17:05,824 --> 00:17:08,358 I'm so, so sorry. 348 00:17:08,393 --> 00:17:11,595 Pet hamsters need to be played with regularly, 349 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,430 or they feel abandoned. 350 00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:16,066 And that can lead to stress polyps on the heart. 351 00:17:16,101 --> 00:17:19,002 The heart is the seat of love, Lisa. 352 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,805 If you'd gone to veterinary school, you'd know that. 353 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,773 I've got no choice but to operate. 354 00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,709 And I need your help. 355 00:17:25,744 --> 00:17:29,479 You still want me to help you after I was so arrogant? 356 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:33,149 Lisa, arrogance is what made the British Empire. 357 00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:34,417 Then lost it. 358 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:36,620 Then pretended it didn't happen.

359 00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:41,091 Well, we've done all we can. 360 00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:44,060 The next 24 hours will be crucial. 361 00:17:44,096 --> 00:17:45,929 Oh, he's gone. 362 00:17:45,964 --> 00:17:47,831 No, no, no. 363 00:17:47,866 --> 00:17:50,133 He can't be dead! 364 00:17:50,168 --> 00:17:52,035 He can't! 365 00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:56,673 I thought we could save every animal if we just cared enough. 366 00:17:56,708 --> 00:17:57,908 Okay, Marge, 367 00:17:57,943 --> 00:17:59,976 sweetie, look at this one. 368 00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:03,346 See, Marge? The baby laughs every time the toaster pops. 369 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:05,348 It is pretty hysterical. 370 00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:06,917 That's nice. 371 00:18:06,952 --> 00:18:10,053 Nice? Something in you is dead, Marge, 372 00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:12,756

and that's one crime scene you can't clean up. 373 00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:14,491 And all for a fan. 374 00:18:14,526 --> 00:18:16,660 A stupid ceiling fan that... 375 00:18:16,695 --> 00:18:18,662 Oh, man, that's refreshing. 376 00:18:18,697 --> 00:18:20,630 I want my Marge back. 377 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,967 Hello? What is it, boy? 378 00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:26,336 Uh-huh. I see. 379 00:18:26,371 --> 00:18:27,470 Fine, Marge. 380 00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:30,874 You sit here, watch your boob tube, have a beer. 381 00:18:30,909 --> 00:18:33,176 That's not how Homer Simpson does things. 382 00:18:33,211 --> 00:18:34,878 I have to go help Lisa! 383 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:37,681 Lisa? 384 00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:40,784 Wait! Wait, I'm coming with you. 385 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,123 No answer. 386

00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,859 I guess we got to do this ourselves. 387 00:18:50,896 --> 00:18:53,496 Oh, geez. 388 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:56,166 All right, get some paper towels, boys. 389 00:18:59,605 --> 00:19:01,271 Lisa. 390 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:05,208 Oh, Mom, he trusted me as only a hamster can! 391 00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,778 If there's one thing I'll always clean up, 392 00:19:08,814 --> 00:19:10,814 it's my baby's tears. 393 00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,949 Oh, I should've been here for you. 394 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:14,451 You would've never let anything happen to him. 395 00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,952 I was too busy being dead inside... 396 00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,821 Wherever he went, I hope they have hamster balls. 397 00:19:17,856 --> 00:19:19,422 ...doing I don't know what! 398 00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:21,424 But I'm here now,

and I'll never leave. 399 00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,561 Well, I'll be. 400 00:19:24,596 --> 00:19:27,697 Lisa's learning about death helped Marge feel again. 401 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:30,533 Yes, a perfect dovetail. 402 00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,268 Thank you for curing Walter Pigeon here. 403 00:19:32,304 --> 00:19:34,904 I can't afford to pay you, but I can give you 404 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,940 front row seats to my magic show. 405 00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,308 The theme is boxing. 406 00:19:38,343 --> 00:19:39,442 Sounds marvelous. 407 00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,111 Oh, yeah, no. Come on, it is. 408 00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:44,425 I want to thank everyone 409 00:19:44,426 --> 00:19:46,553 for coming to Nibbles's funeral today. 410 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:47,986 This is President 411 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:49,220

Cal A. Bunga. 412 00:19:49,256 --> 00:19:50,689 On this sad occasion, 413 00:19:50,724 --> 00:19:53,892 the school flag will be flying at half-ass. 414 00:19:53,927 --> 00:19:55,527 Bart! 415 00:19:55,562 --> 00:19:57,796 I know that this is an especially hard time 416 00:19:57,831 --> 00:19:59,798 for the other classroom pets, 417 00:19:59,833 --> 00:20:03,068 including Mrs. Nibbles, Shelly the turtle, 418 00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:07,172 Sally Mander, Hamilton Fish and Willie's chicken. 419 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,340 Willie, where is your chicken? 420 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,108 It was either him or me! 421 00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:11,242 I see. 422 00:20:11,278 --> 00:20:13,845 Please stand for Nibbles's final journey. 423 00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:37,898 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 424 00:21:25,046 --> 00:21:26,546

Shh!