The Complete Ask Sakura 2ld43

THE COMPLETE ASK SAKURA By K. M. Washatka (Angel Lucifel)

Ask Sakura 1 Sakura: Hey everybody! This is in response to Ino’s little advice column thing. Lucifel: I don’t actually like Sakura more; I just wanted to make a come-back to Ask Ino… Sakura: -KicksLucifel: Ow…hey, I can just as easily NOT write this for you… Sakura: -mumbles…- anyway, for my first edition I’m taking questions from Kohaku Kawa, whom I know really well and can help get this off the ground! Do you miss your long hair? Sakura: -Siiigh-, yes, I do. But I cut it for Sasuke-kun so it’s worth it. And hey, it’ll grow back, right? Itachi: Maybe…if you survive that long with chasing Sasuke to all those dangerous places. Sakura: What the hell are YOU doing in here? Lucifel: Ino’s got everyone else…Sakura needs back-up characters. Sakura: that’s not fair! Itachi: What’s not? Sakura: You mean you don’t hear her? Itachi: Wtf? Sakura: A-anyway…next question. What is the scariest battle you’ve ever been in? Sakura: Oh man, well, both times I fought someone from Orochimaru’s team was really terrifying. But probably the fight with Kabuto was the worst… Kabuto: Awww, did I scare the little princess? Sakura: WHAT THE FUCK?!! Orochimaru: I think you did.

Sakura: -weeps- why do I get all the BAD guys?! Itachi: Just keep reading Kohaku’s questions so we can get this over with… Sakura: R-right. How do you feel about Lee? Sakura: -small blush- W-well…he’s no Sasuke-kun, and at first he really freaked me out, but after he saved me that one time I…well, he’s really a nice guy, I realized… Kabuto: -snicker- Aww that’s cute. Sakura: What is?! Kabuto: Nothing… Itachi: So, Orochimaru, how’d you get in here? Orochimaru: Honestly…I have no clue… Itachi: huh, me neither. Sakura: Well, one last question… Don’t you think it’s time you realized Sasuke’s gay? Itachi: LOL! Sakura: O.o NOOO!! He’s not!! He definitely is not gay! Orochimaru: I’ll be sure to let him know you said that next time he’s underneath me… Sakura and Itachi: Whaaaaaat?! Kabuto: -mutters something jealouslyItachi: I didn’t think I’d fucked him up that badly…well, shit… Sakura: -shaking- W-well…that’s all the time we have for today…Hopefully we’ll get some questions from the reviewers of Ask Ino. Bye for now! -Tries to open door….door does not openEveryone: Aw, dammit. All fans of Ask Ino, also anyone else, please review!!!!

Ask Sakura 2 Lucifel: Hi everyone! I just want to say how happy I am you all reacted to this so well! Also, I’d like to mention that I have a five question per person limit, k? Anyway, I’m so happy I’m responding the same night I put the story up! Celebrate! But I’ll probably start a schedule or something… Sakura: What the hell are you talking about? I can’t answer questions! I need to get out of this room! Orochimaru: -Leaning in over her shoulder- Come on Sakura-chan. Is it THAT bad? Kabuto: -whimpering- Orochimaru-sama…what about meeee? Sakura: -banging door desperately- LET ME OUT!!! Lucifel: Answer the questions or I’ll LET Orochimaru have his kinky way with you! Sakura: -sits like a good girl in her chairOrochimaru: What? You wanna go? Sakura: No that’s the whole point! Itachi: It is? Sakura: don’t you HEAR it? All three men: Hear what? Sakura: Never mind…I’ll start with the question from my first writer: Torn Yorick! Sakura, why haven't we seen either of your parents EVER? and just how did you get your hair so damn PINK!? It can't be natural. Yorick PS. Naruto: You're going down, Orochimaru!(Wait...Sasuke's GAY!?) Yorick: Yeah, you Michael Jackson look-alike!(That, or asexual -.-) HI ITACHI-SAMA! MARRY ME! Itachi: -raises eyebrow- um, no. Orochimaru: -crazy chuckle- Yeah, we’ll see just how much you think I’m like Michael Jackson when I’m…well, yeah, I guess we are kind of similar… Sakura: Oh god help me…um, to answer your questions Yorick, my parent’s are simply unimportant. And…they don’t really care that much about me…

Kabuto: Oh god, don’t you go all emo like that Sasuke brat… Sakura: Sasuke is not emo!! Orochimaru: Oh yes he is…it’s pretty damn cute… Sakura: stopstopstop!! Uh, about my hair, it’s a secret…-shifty eyes- next question!! Here's a question why don't you just say fuck it with Sasuke and Itachi and kill him after all he's put u through? -Halloween-Baby

Itachi: -snickerSakura: I would never! I don’t care what Sasuke-kun does! My love for him is unconditional! I stand by him no matter what! Itachi: Yeah, but I’m sexier. Sakura: -bluuush- um, the next question please… Dear Sakura, If you were able to kidnap and rape one Akatsuki member who would it be? -KyoniP.S. Does Sasuke shave his legs?

Itachi: What the fuck? That’s a big IF. Sakura: -in shock- umm…I guess…I…I would never want to rape anyone! End of story! Orochimaru: You’re not being very fan-friendly Sakura… Lucifel: Yeah Sakura, and Oro’s lookin’ kind of hungry, if you know what I mean. Sakura: fine… Orochimaru: -thinks- she keeps doing what I say…she must be hot for me. –evil grinSakura: -barely audible- Itachi. Itachi: Ugh, eww. Lucifel: Well, you’ve got the first half pretty much done… Sakura: I don’t want to talk about it! Anyway, Sasuke most certainly does NOT shave his legs, he’s too manly for that!

Orochimaru: He does. Sakura: I’m giving the answers here!! Orochimaru: But he does. Sakura: I don’t want to hear it! Next! lolz funny! Dear Sakura, Why the hell do you have to be so annoying??! Your obsession with Sasuke is NOT healthy so give up and go with LEE! You two look adorable together. :3 Also do you it that Sasuke IS emo...and sorta gay? Also do you think Orochimaru and Lord Voldemort are somehow relate? From, Bella PS: SAKURA AND LEE

Sakura: glad you find our predicament humorous you jackass… Orochimaru: oooh does the little princess have a temper? Sakura: -glaresOrochimaru: -thinks- yeeeah, she wants it. Sakura: -reads the rest of letter- …-starts crying- I only do as much as I can for my team…a-and because I’m not physically strong I can only have my spiritual will…I-I… Tsunade says I’m strong…I can’t help loving Sasuke… Kabuto: Oh my GOD. Shut up. You whiney little bitch… Orochimaru: Aww, don’t be mean. Kabuto: What? Now you like HER better than me too? Orochimaru: Well you have been slacking a little in bed… Kabuto: That’s because Sasuke is on the other side of you!! And I’M not a pedophile! Orochimaru: Are you saying I am? Kabuto: Well, he’s THIRTEEN! Itachi: Yeah, but you can’t blame Orochimaru, Sasuke is pretty cute. Everyone: -stares-

Itachi: -blinks- what? Sakura: T-to address the rest of your letter, Lee just isn’t really my type…I guess…and Sasuke is NOT Emo and he is NOT gay— Everyone else: Yes he is. Sakura: -ignoring them- And I don’t really know about this VoldeOrochimaru: I’ve got this one. Ahem. … … … VOLDEMORT IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING PUSSY EVER AND ONE OF MY JUTSU ALONE COULD BEAT THAT GAY-ASS AYURVEDA KADABRA OR WHATEVER IN A HEARTBEAT! EVEN KABUTO COULD KICK HIS ASS!! … -pants… And I’m better-looking. –poutsKabuto: Glad you have so much faith in me…and anyway, I apologize Bella, but he gets this a lot and it’s become kind of a pet peeve…especially the time Harry Potter tried sicking that damn bird on him…anyway, Sakura I believe you have one more question? Sakura: Or I could just let you three take over like you’re doing so well already… Orochimaru: No, no, continue please. Sakura: -sighs- ok, here it is… hi, i am not a huge fan of ask ino, but i have some questions: 1.is pink your natural hair color?? 2.what is your middle name? 3.do you know why sasuke is cooler than itachi?? 4.did you know you should date lee so i could date sasuke? 5.AND DID YOU KNOW HE IS NOT GAY!ISNT THAT AWSOME!

Sakura: I’m glad you don’t Ino in her evilness. Inner Sakura: Hell yeah! Eat it Ino pig! EAT IT!!! Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama…did something large and evil just appear around Sakura? Orochimaru: uh-huh –thinks- yeah, and it was SEXY. Evil chicks are hot.

Sakura: anyway, like I said the pink thing is a secret…why are you people so interested in it? It’s not that big of a deal…-shifty eyes- Oh, my middle name…well, I don’t actually have one, but I’ll make it Haruno when I get married to Sasuke and my last name becomes Uchiha! –long, whistful sighItachi: -gag well disguised as a cough- And he’s not. Sakura: Actually he is. Itachi: Would you kidnap and rape HIM? Orochimaru: oh, burn. Sakura: -blushing- The point is that Sasuke is cooler than Itachi because no matter how many bad choices he makes he will always be a good, kind-hearted person. Orochimaru: And a fantastic lover. Kabuto: -scoffsItachi: Hey, I’m sure I’m a far better lay that Ototo-kun. Orochimaru: -leaning in close to Itachi- wanna prove it? Itachi: -hides smirk inadequately behind his cowlSakura: -whimpers- Anyway, like I keep saying Lee is a nice guy and all but I wouldn’t date him. Sasuke’s the only one for me. Inner Sakura: So back off bitch! Orochimaru: Plus, I think he’s getting a little attached to yours truly. –Thinks- damn, there it was again…rowr, sexy… Sakura: And I’m happy to say for the closing statement that yes it is wonderful that Sasuke is not Gay and will someday have a wonderful wife…me! All three men: But he IS. Sakura: No he’s NOT. Kiba: I really think he might be. He used to hit on me a bit… Sakura: Kiba? When did you get in here?!

Kiba: I don’t know, but I was walking down this hallway and heard some terrifying things that sounded like Ino saying she would date me…and then suddenly, I was here! Orochimaru: So, what you’re basically saying is you don’t know how to get out of here? Kiba: Well since I don’t know how I got in…yeah, that’s about right. And what the fuck are you guys doing in here? –gasps- Are you holding Sakura prisoner!? DUN DUN DUNNN Lucifel: ok, guys, this is long enough for the time being, see what happens next time on Ask Sakura!! Let’s see some more questions to keep this rolling! Sakura: save meeee!!

Ask Sakura 3 Orochimaru: Hey, I’m just letting you know that you took a break at the most inopportune time cuz you missed all the bloody violent killing of that dog boy. Kiba: Umm, I’m still here…just tied up… Sakura: Oh NOW you’re aware of the fourth wall!?!? Orochimaru: The what now? Sakura: Th-the break…the readers… Orochimaru: kid, I thought you were just talking out loud for kicks. Sakura: What the fuck is wrong with you people!?!? Itachi: Well, I did kill everyone in my entire clan… Kabuto: Don’t you go emo on us too now! Itachi: Do you see any emo tears? Kabuto: umm…no? Itachi: Then shut the fuck up. Kabuto: k…-muttersSakura: Well, readers, since I’M aware of you, and happy to receive your questions… because it may mean my escape some day… Lucifel: -snicker- keep dreaming Sakura… Sakura: -whimpers- I’ll go ahead and answer your questions. Itachi: Plus, it’s funny. Now I can’t stop thinking about the little pink-head girl raping me…-snickersOrochimaru: So you’re kinky like that huh? Itachi: No, I just think it’s funny. Sakura: CAN WE ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTIONS?! Kabuto: It’s your fucking job. Go ahead.

Sakura: Thank you…ok! Well, first of all, Kokon Suji, I appreciate you laughing at us and all, but go ahead and ask some questions! Itachi: What did he laugh at? Sakura: N-nothing… Orochimaru: It was my line about fucking Sasuke wasn’t it? Everyone’s getting kicks out of that… Sakura: ARE YOU AWARE OF THE READERS OR NOT?! Orochimaru: Who’s reading what now? Sakura: I hate all of you! Kiba: But I didn’t do anything besides come in and try to help! Kabuto: And get your ass kicked. Kiba: Grrrrr Orochimaru: Kinky. Kiba: What the hell? Sakura: GOOD GOD!! Ok, here we go… Yo, Sakura~ -WaveAnyways, questions, questions.. What were they..? Oh yes! Why is Orochimaru-sama so damn sexy? Why won't you it that Sasuke is gay? He does have 'Uke' in his name, ya' know.. And finally.. -CoughOrochimaru I love you!!

Sakura: -waves back- hi!! –through teeth- get me out of here… So, your questions…goes pale- umm…I don’t know if I can answer this… Orochimaru: -Reads letter- Well, I know why…Kabuto knows why, Itachi knows why, Itachi: The fuck? Orochimaru: You know you do. Itachi: -smirk-

Orochimaru: But tell us Sakura, why AM I so damn hot? Kabuto: Sexy. Orochimaru: Yes, that too. Kabuto: No, that was the word she used. Orochimaru: Don’t be a perfectionist nerd. Kiba: ouch. Kabuto: -sits and poutsSakura: Well, I guess if I had to pick something… -side glance at Orochimaru and shudders- it would be that he’s…so powerful? And nice hair I guess… Orochimaru: -thinks- she thinks I’m sexy. Sakura: Anyway, I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say this (now I know how Ino feels) but Sasuke just isn’t gay. Inner Sakura: he’s mine mine mine MINE!!! Ororchimaru: -Thinks- there she goes again…must be when she’s horny…hey, Kiba looks really cute all tied up…-sits next to KibaKiba: -tries to scoot away- …… -failsSakura: -trying not to watch Orochimaru being creepy- I mean, having an “uke” in your name doesn’t make you gay. Would you say YusUKE Urameshi is gay? Hiei: He is. I caught him and Kuwabara going at it once… Orochimaru: who are you? Hiei: Who wants to know? Itachi: A guy with a thing for short kids with spiky black hair, apparently. Orochimaru: Exactly. Hiei: Creeps…-disappearsSakura: WHAT?!

Lucifel: I can do that. This isn’t supposed to be a crossover… Sakura: Well, what about SanosUKE Sagara? Sanosuke: Oh hell yeah. Kenshin’s hot. And don’t get me started on Saitou… Orochimaru: Again with the dark spiky hair and rough-edged attitude, I’m liking this… Sakura: I give up. Sanosuke: Wish Saitou would…-disappearsOrochimaru: awww Sakura: Fine, so, Orochimaru, any lasts comments? Orochimaru: Huh? Wh--oh…well, thanks. A lot of people do. Kabuto: -sighOrochimaru: Like Kabuto. Sakura: Enough of this! Next! Hey! I love this story! Sakura is like, my fave character in the entire series. ^^ Orochimaru is my LEAST fave. He must BURN. And QUICKLY. My question is: Sakura, we all know you like Sasuke, but is there a special reason why? (And yeah, I think you should be with Sasuke! SasuSaku forever! And Sasuke IS NOT GAY... burn, Orochimaru!) -danielie

Orochimaru: What the fuck is this chick’s problem? Why don’t you come down here and MAKE me burn huh? Think you’re tougher than Sandaime? Come PROVE it bitch. Kabuto: -putting hands on Oro’s shoulders- calm down, Orochimaru-sama. Orochimaru: Yes, yes…-eyes KibaSakura: Well, it’s always nice to hear words of confidence while in here! –twitch- So, the main reason why I love Sasuke-kun so much is…well, my love for him is so deep and pure there are no words. Something in me just wants to keep him safe, and happy… Itachi: Because you could totally pull that shit off. –Rolls eyesKiba: Shut up. I think it’s sweet. Even if he is gay… Sakura: thank you Kiba…maybe…

Orochimaru: Get a clue princess! Trust me, there’s no protest coming out of his mouth… he swallows everything. Sakura: Dear god. Oh yay! More from Torn Yorick! Sakura, Another question: Did you know the circle on your back is perfect for target practice? Btw, Itachi-sama you're a smexy beast, and I am forever your slave!! -snaps out of obsessive fangirl modeand hey Kiba! -waves- Is it true you and Shino are... -holds pinky to cheek-

Itachi: -eyeing Sakura’s dress- whoa…it is…-pulls out kunaiSakura: -pressing back against a wall- um, well, whatever you say, it’s just a pattern… Inner Sakura: YOU JERK!! That’s almost as bad as the people who call the Uchiha crest a pokeball! Lucifel: Dude, it totally is. Orochimaru: -turns away from Kiba and thinks- damn, she’s getting so HORNY. Itachi: oh…um…didn’t I already shoot you down? But if you wanna get a frappuccino or something I am getting kind of thirsty… Kabuto: -staresItachi: what? Kabuto: A frappucino? Itachi: Yeah and? I think they’re yummy… Kabuto: I liked you better when I never knew you… Itachi: whatever. Sakura: -blushing- Kiba…um…this last part is for you. –shows himKiba: -eyes grow wide and he blushes- oh…I…I… Shino: Yeah. It’s true. Kiba: Shino! Shino: He’s just shy about it. Wants to keep up his manly façade or something. Kiba: No, I meant how did you get in here?!

Shino: The window. I saw you tied up and got worried –thinks- and turned on. Sakura: There’s a WINDOW?! Shino: -looks up- there WAS. Gaara: Well, there’s not anymore. Sakura: What the hell are you doing here?! Lucifel: I wanted to grab him before Ino-chan did. Gaara is the sexiness… Sakura: Gaara’s not sexy! Orochimaru: -thinks- Oh yes he is… -eyes Gaara’s ass.Gaara: -raises…oh, he doesn’t have eyebrows does he?- did someone say I was? Lucifel: HELL YES! Sakura: N-no… Orochimaru: Poor thing’s kind of breaking down. –thinks- I’ll break her down… Lucifel: God, why don’t you just make an orgy? Sakura: WHAT?! Lucifel: If you could hear that man’s thoughts… Sakura: WHICH MAN!?!? Lucifel: Yeah, there are a lot of ‘em…well, figure it out. Sakura: -looks in horror at the crowd of men, whom are all staring at her likes she’s the devil…which, we all know, is actually meSakura: That’s all for today…I need to go rest my brain… Gaara: And if anyone tries to ask me any questions…well, I’m not wasting my time answering them. Lucifel: Isn’t he just smexiest!?!

Ask Sakura 4 Sakura: Ok, I’m…rested… Orochimaru: Well? Sakura: Not really… Orochimaru: Aww, I’m sorry. Kiba and Shino: -Snuggles.Itachi: When did the dog kid get untied? Kiba: -blushing cuz people are watching- Shino untied me. Itachi: When? He left a minute ago… Shino: I came back. –thinks- because Kiba’s here. Orochimaru: Well, as long as you just keep paying all your attention to the bug-kid it’s cool with me. Where did Gaara go? Gaara: -appears back insideOrochimaru: now why do THEY get to go all over that place? Lucifel: shut up! I do as I please! Gaara: And it’s not that much better over there. Sakura: Anyway, even though I am stuck in this…predicament, I want to do what I came here to do and answer questions!! So, happy to have her starting off our Fourth addition, we have a letter from Kohaku Kawa! Lucifel!! I give you questions to start your story and you repay me by making Orochimaru-sama all horny for Sakura!? wtf mate? *waves to Orochimaru fans. "Hi! I wrote an Oro/jira fic that you should all check out! While you're there read the other fics this pair needs way more love! oh and while your in the mood WRITE some Jira/Oro fics so I can read more!!" Sakura here's a few more questions, 1. if you (barf)married Sasuke how many children would you have and what would there names be? 2. If you didn't marry Sasuke who would you marry? 3. Why are you not falling to your knees and worshipping Orochimaru-sama? *points at Lucifel* Now leave my Orochimaru-dono alone. *pouts*

Sakura: Orochimaru’s WHAT?!

Lucifel: It’s not just Sakura…it’s everyone. Orochimaru: -winks at KibaLucifel: See? Jiraiya: What the hell is this about an Oro/Jira fic? Orochimaru: Jiraiya! –pouncesJiraiya: Why are YOU here? –realize Oro is kind of…hugging him…- and why are you doing THIS?! Orochimaru: Because the latest writer gave me an idea… Jiraiya: Should I be scared? Kiba and Kabuto: Very. Sakura: Oh thank God! Jiraiya! You can get us out of here can’t you? Jiraiya: -pushing Orochimaru away- um…nope, don’t think so. Sakura: Why not? Jiraiya: No reason… Lucifel:-cough-he’shidingfromTsunade-coughSakura: Fiiine…anyway, your questions, Kohaku. One, I would love to have three kids, two girls and a boy, with the boy being the oldest so he could take care of his imotos… and I would name the girls after flowers like myself, and the boy I would name after the first Hokage! Orochimaru: Oh, gag me. Sakura: Wish I could… Orochimaru: What was that little girl? –steps forwardJiraiya: -blocks his way- Oro, let the poor girl answer the questions. Orochimaru: -smirking sexily- yes, Jiraiya-chan…-goes and sits down…sexilySakura: -thinks- thank god for Jiraiya showing up…

Jiraiya: ah man, this whole place is full of only MEN. Sakura: -thinks- or not so great…-speaking now- As for your second question, it’s a little silly since I definitely will marry Sasuke someday… Jiraiya: Maybe if you turn into a boy. Everyone: -staresJiraiya: Oh, like no one else knew he was gay. Itachi, Kabuto and Orochimaru: -long, loud, laughterSakura: -in shock- a-anyway…I would probably marry…-blush- that is the man I think would treat me the best…-shifting uncomfortably- uh…uh…Lee. There I said it. Kiba: Fuzzy eyebrows!? No way!! Gaara: -glares at SakuraShino: -raises eyebrow at GaaraGaara: -Glares at ShinoSakura: Can we move on?! Kabuto: please…-eyeing Gaara and Shino warilySakura: Ok, your last question Kohaku, I…well… Orochimaru: Yeah! Why AREN’T you?! –thinks- cuase I know you want to. Sakura: -facing him- Because I could never worship such a cold, cruel man as you! Itachi: I bet Sasuke doesn’t think he’s so cold. Orochimaru: Damn, and I didn’t even have to say it. Sakura: -blushing furiously- next question please! Sakura if you had the choice to have sex with who would you choose Itachi, chouji or deidara? also why are u so sasuke crazy he is just a fool. ps.itachi will rock on! Choas

Itachi: Not another one of these…although, I will. –smirk-

Sakura: Well, I don’t know Deidara very well. Lucifel: shit shit shit! They keep asking Deidara questions! Must catch up on series and find out who Deidara is!! Sakura: God, you trapped us in here and don’t even know all the characters… Lucifel: shut up and read! Sakura: Well, Itachi is an evil bastard and Choji I really don’t know very well…but he seems sweet. Orochimaru: Dear… let me cut in, they are basically saying who you would want to fuck, just once, no strings attached, so basically who you think is hotter. Please tell me you don’t think the fat kid is hotter than Itachi? Sakura: -quietly- well…no… Orochimaru: There you have it. She wants Itachi. Itachi: -sigh- again, eww. Sakura: wait! No! I never said—! Jiraiya: -laughing- You were clear enough! Next question! Haruko: Sakura you lucky biyotch!! You're locked in a room with a harem of sexy men!! Well, not Orokun, but the rest are! USE THAT TIME! Genki: *groan* Nee-chan, that's not a question... Haruko: So? Genki: The story is called "Ask Sakura" Haruko: And? Genki: Arg! Nee-san, you do it!! Daidou: H... hai... Dear Sakura-san, Um... sorry for sounding rude... but why do you wear red? I mean... the idea of being a ninja is to blend in... but... red is so outstanding... but then again... Naruto-san wears orange... Yours truly, Daidou, Genki and Haruko. x Haruko-PS: SEX THOSE BOYS UP DAMMIT!

Jiraiya: What the hell? Most of that letter wasn’t even a question… Lucifel: but it was FUNNY! Thanks for making me laugh, girls! Orochimaru: I am TOO sexy. How come I’m getting so much hate mail? Sakura: -trying to glare at Lucifel but since I’m INVISIBLE she can’t- well, a really good ninja can conceal themselves no matter what they’re wearing!

Itachi: You’re a good ninja? Kiba: Well, she DOES have top ranks… Itachi: Did I ask you, dog boy? Kiba: N-no. Itachi: Then shut the fuck up. Kiba: Y-yes sir… Shino: -shakes head in shameSakura: Well, on to the next question please! Sakura I wish I could help you but I can'tT.T Well anyway here are questions: 1. Sakura why not just go with lee i mean i have read a lot of stories of you guys together and you are so cute. 2. Also I love dogs. Where is Akamaru Kiba?

Kiba: Oh god! Where IS Akamaru?! –starts running around the room looking for Akamaru- Akamaru!? Akamaru!! Kabuto: and you only now notice he’s gone? What kind of pet owner are you? Kiba: -feeling horrible- Akamaru! Here Boy!!! Sakura: About the Lee and I thing, well, I’ve addressed it many times and— Orochimaru: She wants to marry him. Gaara: -glares at OrochimaruSakura: No! No! No! I already explained; I would only ever consider Lee if Sasuke died or something! Gaara: -glares at SakuraKabuto: So Lee’s like…your sympathy fuck? Harsh. Sakura: Nooo! I care about him I just-Gaara stop glaring at me!! Gaara: -keeps glaringSakura: anyway, I just don’t love him like I love Sasuke. That’s all. Next question, which will be the last for today:

hello sakura my question is why dont you freaking work out and train like the rest of the ninja's so you can save yourself... we cant do it they would kill all of us... p.s two things i also suggest the training to become stonger than Sasuke then he may love you. and 2 i you may be in a din with all them creepy people but they wont kill you u r the only girl down there and they are thinking too much about sex

Sakura: I do train! Tsunade-sensei gives me strict regimens every day! My training just isn’t very glamorous so it’s never really publicized. Kiba: Akamaru!!! Orochimaru: In other words she sucks because she can’t help but suck, no matter what she does. Kabuto: What? First you wanna screw her, now you hate her? What gives? Sakura: -goes paleOrochimaru: Better things came my way… -eyes Gaara and JiraiyaGaara: -glares back at OroOrochimaru: -licks lipsGaara: -shudders and looks awayKiba: Akamaru!! Where are youuuu?! Sakura: At any rate, the reason I’m training under Tsunade is to protect and win over Sasuke! So I’m already taking your advice! And um…I really don’t want to think about what these guys are thinking… Orochimaru: -thinks- an orgy would be fun right about now. Itachi: -thinks- I wonder if that one kid will bring me my Frappucino… Kabuto: -thinks- I wish Orochimaru-sama would pay more attention to meee! Kiba: -thinks while on hand and knees, checking under furniture for Akamaru- Where is Akamaru?! Where is Akamaru!? Shino: -thinks- Kiba looks so cute crawling on the floor like that… Jiraiya: -thinks- Why do I have to be stuck in this room and the only girl is this shapeless Haruno girl? Gaara: -thinks- Why are you broadcasting my thoughts, bitch?

Lucifel: ehehehe, my bad there, Sand man. Sakura: huh? You’re talking to Gaara now? Lucifel: Of course not! Go ahead and sign off Sakura! Sakura: Well, anyway, That’s all the time we have! Lucifel: Because I smell gross and need a shower. Sakura: So, I’ll see you all next time! Kiba: AKAMARUUUUUU!!!!!

Ask Sakura 5 Sakura: Before anyone say anything lets get a question!! Kiba: Akamaru!!!! Sakura: I said a question!!! Sw33t! I got my first question answered, thanks! And yeah, this chick's problem is YOU, Orochimaru! I am NOT happy with you taking Sasuke away from Sakura!! If I could come down and make you burn, I WOULD! >=P My next question... Sakura, if you could have said just one more thing to Sasuke before he left... what would it be? Thanks for answering my questions! -danielie

Orochimaru: Not this again…I’d love to see you try. I could beat with just my TONGUE! You hear me?! MY FREAKING TONGUE!! Jiraiya: Calm down, Oro, it’s not worth getting so hot-headed. Orochimaru: You’re one to talk about hot-headedness! Jiraiya: -twitch- What’s that supposed to mean? Orochimaru: What’s the matter too dense to figure it out? Jiraiya: Why you--! -They begin tumbling around and yelling curses in the backgroundSakura: -sigh- I really said all I could. Of course— Kiba: A-KA-MA-RUUU!!! Sakura: Of course, I always want to tell him I love him, as much as I can. Itachi: Waste of breath, kid. Sakura: -snappily- Next question. Ya know what's really funny?Well i'm making a fanfic for Sasuke/Sakura and all of u are in it! YA! -jumps up and downOk here's the question's 1.Sakura what do you think of Naruto? 2.Orochiumaru if ur gay why do u wan't Sakura? 3.and the last one is 4 Itachi!! If you had 2 who would u fuck...Sakura,Ino,or the 4th Hokage?

Itachi: ALL of us? Even the sand and bug kids? Shino/Gaara: -scowl-

Sakura: that’s great! What a way to celebrate the best couple ever! Kabuto: Yeah, you’re not the only who wishes that were the case. Sakura: It IS th-wait, you mean you agree with me? Kabuto: I don’t agree, but I’d sure as hell like to get the little brat away from Orochimaru. Kiba: -gives up and sits crying in a cornerShino: -goes and puts arm around Kiba’s shouldersLucifel: awwww, aren’t they cute? Sakura: -evil glint in eye- Well, I know you’re totally loyal and all but…what would say to a temporary team-up? Kabuto: huh? Sakura: -checks to make sure Oro and Jiraiya are still fighting…they are…more or less… they’re still rolling on the floor at least- So, if you could be my inside man, to talk to both Sasuke AND Orochimaru, and get me info and stuff, we might be able to pull something off. -Jiraiya and Orochimaru knock over a chairKabuto: hmmm, I don’t know Haruno, there’s no guarantee… Sakura: Isn’t a risk you’re willing to take? Kabuto: You have me there. –They shake- it’s a deal. Orochimaru: -leaning over suddenly- what’s a deal? Kabuto: Nothing! Nothing! Sakura: Of course not! I was just saying…it’s a…meal! I was answering the question! Jiraiya: -leaning over Oro’s shoulder- You think Naruto’s a meal? Sakura: -sweat drop-yeah! As in a meal full of surprises! Jira/Oro: Okaaaay

Itachi: -snickerSakura: And about your second question, Orochimaru, this one’s all yours. Inner Sakura: Yeah, I wanna hear it, jerkwad. Orochimaru: Ah, you have it wrong. I am not gay. I am bi. I mean hell, I’d fuck Anko, Kurenai, AND several other lovely Kunoichi I can think of…maybe even Temari. Gaara: -suddenly very close by- You better not have just said that, snake. Orochimaru: Why not? She’s pretty hot for her age. Gaara: -pulls cork out of gourd- I can give a few damn good reasons why not. So could Kimimaro if you know what I mean. Orochimaru: -yawns- yeah, yeah, I get it kid. Just so you know? The only thing you’re managing to do is look really cute standing there trying to be all threatening like that. Shino: -thinks- that’s the truth. Gaara: -angrily shoves cork back in and sits down sulkily, glaring at OroSakura: Eep…umm, Itachi? Itachi: wha-aw, fuck. Orochimaru: -snickering- that IS the topic. Itachi: -sigh-It’s actually pretty easy…Yondaime. Jiraiya: What?! The?! FUCK?! Itachi: -shrugs- He’s the hottest and strongest of the three. Orochimaru: You’re GAY?! Itachi: Where do you think Sasuke got it from? Sakura: -in shockLucifel: uh, Sakura? The next question? Sakura: -shaking herself- Oh…oh right… hi sakura how are you? (i have captured sasuke mwahahaha!) :)

here are my new questions: 1.i STILL think you should go out with lee, i mean he's not sasuke. 2.SASUKE IS MINE AND I CAN PROVE IT!!i kidnapped him and then, dont panic, he S M I L E D at me!and it isnt the apocolypse!see, he is totally into me. (sasuke:help...me...) SHUT UP SASUKE!annoying hottie... 3.i wanna tell orochimaru that...HE'S TOTALLY NUTSO!GET A HOBBY GAY WAD! oh and sakura, can you be my friend?

Lucifel: so THAT’S why Sasuke hasn’t been in either column! Sakura: yeah right, I know Sasuke would never be captured…again…anyway, like I said; I’m NOT going out with Lee. Period. -and a few rooms down, a Lee is cryingSakura: and two…two…oh dear god!! NO!!! SASUKE-KUNNNNN!!!! Orochimaru: How the fuck did the brat get himself caught like that? Itachi: pfft. He’s still just a weakling… Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama? The last question IS yours. Orochimaru: Ok, my dear bitch, being nutso, getting all the jutsu, and screwing my servants (especially Sasuke)-Sakura: nooooo! Orochimaru: --IS my hobby! I can tell you right now it beats the shit out of writing some gay-ass Sasu/Saku fanfiction. Jiraiya: Actually…that’d be straight-ass. Orochimaru: -snicker- heh, you’re right. Always did have a sense of humor. Jiraiya: Funny, you never laughed before. Orochimaru: Strange…you never seemed sexy before. Jiraiya: -bluuushKabuto: -shockSakura: Be your friend!? You freaking captured my own true love! NO we can’t be friends! Give Sasuke back and break me out of this hell-hole, THEN we’ll talk friends! Shino: Damn, I’ve never seen her so pissed.

Kiba: M-me neither… Shin/Kiba: -cowerSakura: next question! And I'm back~! Miss me? You better've or I swear to Kami-sama and your head will be on a piI mean.. Anyways~.. Ignore that.. So -Hands Orochimaru a Sasuke plushie- ... Yeah, that's basically why I'm here.. Oh! Gaara, how is it that you're such a badass? And Itachi, what type of Shampoo/Conditioner do you use? ~Rant~

Sakura: we missed you! We missed you! -Thinks- who the heck are you? Orochimaru: -Takes plushie- Yay! Jiraiya: -wary glanceItachi: what? He gets a plushie and I’m STILL sitting here waiting for my Frappucino? Kabuto: god, what a spoiled princess. Itachi: -sharingan eyes glaring- Say one more thing. Kabuto: eh…no thanks… Itachi: that’s what I thought. Sakura: Um, Gaara, there’s a question for you. Gaara: Yeah, and what did I say when I got here? Kiba: That you wouldn’t waste time answering questions? Gaara: Yes, thank you, twat. Kiba: -whimpersShino: -comforts with snugglesLucifel: everyone say it with me: awwwwww

Sakura: So, I’m sorry about Gaara’s attitude… Orochimaru: meh, don’t feel too bad. That pretty much answered the question. Sakura: so yeah, Itachi will take the next one… Jiraiya: what kind of man uses--? Itachi: -eyes sparkling- I use a very expensive and professional brand of hair products, and shampoo and condition my hair everyday. Everyone: -shockItachi: what? Orochimaru: If he hadn’t already itted it we’d all know he’s gay now… Itachi: -folds arms and poutsSakura: L-let’s move on, ne? Yay, I had to hac- er Borrow my brothers to get review this. It's funny. Poor Sakura, one day you will be free. After Orochimaru has his way with your body. Anyway I'll ask you the same questions I asked Ino. 1. Are you ticklish 2. If you and Sasuke had a kid what would his name be. 3. How does it feel to be trapped in a room with sadistic ninjas and a guy who looks up doggie porn. That's it. Believe it(BTW thats my name).

Orochimaru: I like this one… Sakura: no! I will escape before then! I will! Orochimaru: You keep telling yourself that. Sakura: So, ignoring that…uh…-shifty eyes- like I said earlier, I would name our boy after the first Hokage…and…right now it feels terrible. Kiba: Waitaminute…who the FUCK has been looking up doggie porn?! That’s just sick and wrong! Everyone besides Shino: -staresShino: They think you do, babe. Kiba: -mouth drops open- What do you people think of me?! God! I don’t do things like that! Orochimaru: Right…why would you when you and Akamaru have the real thing?

Kiba: -speechless- …-for about a second- YOU BASTARD!! Shino:-holds Kiba back- Kiba-kun! He’s not worth it! Orochimaru: Yeah, and I’d kill your ass. Kiba: Come try it Jackass! Orochimaru: -starting up- maybe I will! Jiraiya: -holding Orochimaru back- Oro, stop. He’s just a loud-mouth kid. -stand offSakura: so yeah nexItachi: WAIT! Kabuto: what? Something to add about your hair products? Itachi: Nooo. Did anyone else notice anything amiss? Kabuto: Not real—hey…little cherry-head here never answered the first question. Kabuto/Itachi: -close in on SakuraSakura: h-huh? Oh, hehe, silly me…the answer is no! I am most definitely not ticklish! Kabuto: -pausing- Itachi, do you believe her? Itachi: -pausing also- Wellll, Kabuto, she is a very honest little kunoichi. Kabuto: True, true but…one can never be too sure… Itachi: let’s test the answer shall we? Kabuto: yes, let’s… Sakura: -as they bear down on her- no! no! get away from me! NOOOOO!!!! -later, after much tickling, flailing, laughing, and ‘accidental’ groping that somehow got the entire room involved, they all lie around panting on the floorOrochimaru: -between pants- That…was…better…than…an…Orgy. Kiba: -gives Oro an exhausted high-five- Amen to that, snake-man. Orochimaru: -turning to his other side where Gaara is- you’ve got some mean hands kid. Gaara: -smirking-You’re not so bad yourself.

Jiraiya: -who is lying across Oro- I haven’t had that much fun in AGES. Itachi: I haven’t LAUGHED in ages. Kabuto: But you laughed about Sasuke being gay… Itachi: oh yeah… Shino: -is asleep, lying next to KibaLucifel: again, Awwwww Sakura: -getting up from between Gaara and Itachi, hair all messy, aren’t you so fucking jealous?!- Well, that was an unexpected interlude. And, since this has already gone on long enough— Orochimaru: no! not long enough! There must be more! Sakura: We’ll go ahead and address the last writer for today: Haruko: Right, while the other two are gone, now is my chance! O~ro~chi~ma~ru~sa~ma~! Please, please, pretty please send me any video footage you have of... well, you know... *suggestive eyebrows* Really, my NaruSasu porn is getting ridiculously low... Oh, and to stick with the ask Sakura theme... WHY AREN'T YOU HAVING AN ORGY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD?!

Sakura: oh hey! How are your sisters? are they your sisters? Orochimaru: Oh, if he LET me video tape it, believe me, I’d be selling it. But as it stands…he’s too shy. On the otherhand I’ve got this stuff with Kabu— Kabuto: you’ve got WHAT?! Orochimaru: didn’t you know I was taping it? Kabuto: NO! Orochimaru: Oh, shit. Well, I can give you part of the profits. Kabuto: PROFITS?! Orochimaru: Hell yeah. You wouldn’t believe what it goes for… Kabuto: I’m not hearing this… Sakura: And anyway, your question… -Everyone exchanges glances-

Itachi: did we just have one? Orochimaru: no, like I said, it was BETTER. Kiba: AMEN! -the scene fades with lots of laughter and collapsing with exhaustion. We’re all gonna sleep now. See you for the next installment!-

Ask Sakura 6 -The first person to wake up that morning was Orochimaru; he looked around and found that he was lying next to Jiraiya and Kabuto, and then lay back down, cuddled closer to Jiraiya, and went back to sleep-Jiraiya woke up to the movement on his left, and without bothering to get all the way awake, merely turned over and put his arm over that person-Shino and Kiba woke up at the same time, together, of course, but also found Gaara tangled in with them. Too afraid to wake the sand-ninja up, and perfectly happy lying together, they didn’t move-When Itachi woke up he found himself on the edge of the tangled group, next to Sakura, on the other side of which was Kabuto, he slowly stood up and started straightening his rumpled outfit, muttering about not being able to wash his hair that morning-Kabuto woke up facing Sakura, who was snoring softly and looking really cute, but since Kabuto doesn’t like anyone but Orochimaru, he only thought that in an endearing way and then turned around and went numb in shock at the sight of Orochimaru and Jiraiya hugging in their sleep.-Sakura woke up when Kabuto’s elbow knocked into her as he fell back in surprise, and she slowly sat up and blinked groggily, surveying the room.Lucifel: All right enough of this! EVERYONE GET UP!!!!!!! Everyone: -jumps awake, startled and sleepyKiba: Sakura-chan, why did you do that? Sakura: -just as startled as everyone else- I didn’t! Jiraiya: -slowly and confusedly removing Orochimaru from his arms- Well who else is that loud of a girl? Lucifel: heehee Sakura: -sigh- never mind… -A few moments of awkward silence as everyone tries to figure out how the events of last night even happenedSakura: I guess I’ll go ahead and get down to the questions… Kiba: I’m hungry…

Dear Sakura, Hiya!! I hope u can get there out alive and still being a virgin you're still a virgin are you? Q1(4 Ita-chan!)hey Ita-chan got you're frappacino!here ya go!*gave Ita-chan frappacino* soo...if I became the strongest person in the world would you marry me? if not can i be you're whore or friend? Q2(4 Hima-chan[that's orochimaru])hey Hima-chan who's better in bed Kabu-chan or Gay-chan(that's SasuGAY)? Q3(4 Ba-chan[That's Kiba])hey Ba-chan, do you fuck like a dog? Q4(4 Kura-chan[That's Sakura])hey Kura-chan if Gay-chan didn't want you and you don't want to have a husband or something will you get a manwhore or will you be a whore or you will just be single for the rest of your pitiful life? Q5(4 everybody!) hey Gay-chan's second goal is to repopulate the uchiha clan right? but if he's gay do you think he will do male pregnantcy with Hima-chan? well that's all folks! bye bye! time 4 me to watch looney tunes! PS i love all u guys cept Lee he just creeps me out

Orochimaru: After last night? No one is. Sakura: Ahem! Yes, of course, I am. I’m saving myself for Sasuke! Kabuto: Dying virgin…such a sad fate. Sakura: hmpf. Itachi: -groggy groan- It’s too early in the morning to answer---oh, hey, my frappucino! – Takes and drinks happily- Anyway, I don’t plan to marry anyone, so no. And if I ever saw someone who was starting to become stronger than me I’d kill them before they could kill me. Kabuto: What if they’re, like, in America? Jiraiya: Where’s America? Kabuto: Across an ocean. Jiraiya: -to Orochimaru- is he high? Orochimaru: He’s always like this in the mornings. Itachi: I kill them anyway. And as for the rest of your question, all my whores are men (I’m gay, and plus, there’s no pregnancy risk) and I don’t have any friends. –Eyes frappucino- … -mutters- butIguesssinceyoubroughtmemyfrappucinowecanbe. Everyone: -stares-

Itachi: what? Jiraiya: Awww, is Itachi getting some snuggly, cuddly, fwiends? Itachi: Do you see me doing any cuddling? Jiraiya: well…no… Itachi: Then shut the fuck up. Orochimaru: SO, to answer my question— Kabuto: -watches intentlyOrochimaru: ok, it’s hard to tell…So, with Kabuto I’m always on top, no struggle, ‘cuase he’s just a loyal dog like that. It’s nice. He’s got a good body, and he knows how to be a sexy submissive. Kabuto: -smiles triumphantlyItachi: Sasuke’s not always on the bottom with you? Jiraiya: You say that like you have experience with him… Itachi: -shifty eyesJiraiya: -goes greenish-ly paleOrochimaru: Just listen you two! With Sasuke, yes, of course, I’m always on top. But he wants to be on top, so he fights and struggles, and makes me keep control of him. When he finally gives up and can only lye panting underneath me while ISakura: STOP! STOP!! STOP!!! Jiraiya: That is going a little far, Oro. Orochimaru: Fine, fine! Anyway, they both have their good points, but since Sasuke doesn’t mind when there’s someone else in the bed, I’m going with Sasuke. Sakura: NOOOOO! Kabuto: NOOOOO! Kiba: uh, well, while you guys are doing that I guess I’ll answer the nex-blinks-huh, I shouldn’t be surprised by now…anyway, I don’t I-

Shino: If by “fuck like a dog” you mean with wild, animalistic strength and nipping, licking and all sorts of utter carnal pleasure and release then yes, he fucks like a dog. Kiba: -jaw dropsGaara: -excited twitchShino: If you mean wherever and whenever…-wry smile- sometimes, that too. Kiba: -still shockedGaara: -still enraptured by the thoughtKabuto: Ne, Sakura-chan, why don’t you answer the question to you before Shino divulges any more info about his and Kiba’s sexual life…-wary glanceSakura: H-hai…so, if Sasuke didn’t want me— Ita/Oro: he DOESN’T! Sakura: IF Sasuke didn’t want me, depending n the circumstances…Well, honestly I’ll never stop loving him, and could never give myself to any other man. I guess I could try to move on but…I just can’t imagine it… Kabuto: So no marrying Lee? Sakura: That was if I HAD to get married… Kabuto: harsh… Kiba: -snicker- who’s taking this last one? Everyone: -reads- … -shockItachi: -mutters- I don’t know why we’re still surprised by these things… Orochimaru: I’ll take this. Ok, well, first of all, eww. No kids. Ever. Gross. I don’t need anyone to carry on my line because I’ll live forever, that’s all. Itachi: Plus, I bet he’d just get a surrogate mother if he really wanted kids… Sakura: -hopefulKiba: Ooh, harsh P.S. for Fuzzy-brows… Orochimaru: All that matters is that I’m loved.

Jiraiya: -rolls eyes- ok, whatever Oro…-mutters- always was an attention whore… Orochimaru: ever wonder whose attention I was trying to get? Jiraiya: -small smileSakura: Well, let’s move on… Dear Sakura, Did you enjoy your little tickle fest?? -envious- You know you did! -pouts- Btw, I'm holding Lee hostage, so there! XP And, what's your favorite food?? PS. Kabuto: I know how you feel...T.T my master doesn't pay me any mind, either...-chibi eyes ItachiItachi: Here's your frappuchino, btw! PSS. Orochimaru: I know we've had our differences...but let's let bygones be bygones...now how much does one of those tapes cost again? Your loyal reader, Yorick!

Sakura: hey Yorick! So umm… Orochimaru: ok, show of hands, who enjoyed the tickle-orgy? Everyone but Gaara and Sakura: -raises handGaara: -barely noticeably raises handSakura: -slowly…raises handOrochimaru: And there you have it. Next! Sakura: W-wait! You’re holding Lee hostage?! Kabuto: Come now, it’s not like you actually care about the boy. Sakura: B-but I do! Kabuto: So you like him? Sakura: yes! Kabuto: So you’d go out with him? Sakura: no! Kabuto: So you don’t like him? Sakura: But I do! It’s just…I just…I…I…

Orochimaru: You broke her. Kabuto: Yeah…oops. Sakura: Ok…-shakes head- uh, my favorite food is candied lotus roots. They’re really, really, yummy and they’re the first thing I seeing Sasuke eating. –gooey smileKiba: -clutches throat and makes gagging noisesItachi: -looks away from Chibi eyes- those don’t work on me…-glances over shoulderand you’re late. The sugar queen or whatever already gave me one. –looks away again…-glances over again at chibi eyes-…-sigh- well, dammit, I guess I can always drink another one. –takes frap and sips itJiraiya: So basically if any of the Uchiha’s had wanted to survive all they had to do was give you a frappucino and make chibi eyes at you? Itachi: no!...of course not…-poutsOrochimaru: -snickers- hehe, well, Yorick, the average going price is 10,000,000 yen… plus your soul…-smileKabuto: And people are actually buying those? Orochimaru: Hell yeah! People line up JUST to hand over their souls to me! And for a bit of money too, they can get a gift of you and me banging it! Kabuto: -rubbing forehead- good god… Sakura: Next question… Sakura... Please get it on with Itachi... We all know you cant make it with sasuke, why not his bro!! If he runs... Tie him to a chair... Now onto question ^^ itachi... when did you relise you were gay.. oh yeah, here is ur frappucino -smilesOrochimaru..do you share a room with sasuke and kabuto? ps. orochimaru... you should stick to touching yourself at night rather then hitting on young virgins -looks at sakura then waves ^^And.. where is kurenai o.0? :D __vivian

Sakura: -open-mouthed shock-

Itachi: -wide-eyed shock- Her? Tie me to a chair? Right…tell me, were you high when the pigs flew past your window? Orochimaru: now, now, this is for answering questions, not asking them. Itachi: whatever. –makes ‘w’ signOrochimaru: Good boy, now answer the question. Itachi: Oh…a long time ago. That best friend? Lost it to him…when I was ten. Orochimaru: Dayum, that’s hard core! Kiba: Is THAT why you killed everyone? Did they not accept you or something? Itachi: -scowlKabuto: Umm, you’ve got another-Itachi: Yeah, I know. –takes frappucino and gives it to Gaara who is sitting next to himGaara: -hesitantly sips-…..-goes wide-eyed and starts selfishly devouring itOrochimaru: -smiles at how cute Gaara’s being- So yeah…um…why? Sasuke was a virgin and that was freaking awesome. Sakura: -weakly waves back- I’m going to die here… Kiba: Heh, I’m glad Kurenai’s not here…she’d probably… Kurenai: I’d probably what? Kiba: eep. Sakura: Kurenai-sensei! At last a sane person! –runs to KurenaiKurenai: -hugs Sakura- Sakura-chan…are you ok? –looks around the room- Holy…why are all of you in here together? Orochimaru: Question; can you get out of this room? Kurenai: -looks around- uh…no… Orochimaru: And that would be why. Kurenai: Oh…-glares at Itachi-

Itachi: -sticks tongue out between his finger in a ‘v’ shapeKurenai: -goes paleJiraiya: -thinks- Yessss! An older, full-bodied woman! Finally! –says- Ne, Kurenai, don’t worry, I’ve been keeping the kids safe. Kabuto: How? By flirting with Orochimaru? Jiraiya: I wasn’t flirting! I was keeping his attention off of Sakura! Kabuto: Of course you were, and I suppose that’s also why you two were so cuddly this morning? Jiraiya: Of course it was! Orochimaru: -hurt scoff- Well fine then! –Storms off to sulk next to GaaraJiraiya: I…but…I just… Kurenai: How did you survive this long Sakura? Sakura: I have no idea…well, we have another questions from the three sisters. Kurenai: You’re in here answering questions? From who? Kabuto: I honestly think she’s making it all up to flirt with Itachi. Sakura: I am not!! Kiba: -groan- just get to the question… Haruko: *giggles* that has satisfied my orgy question... hey, did you know tickling is considered a fetish?! *lewd grin* Genki: *groan* Nee-chan... Haruko: Aw, that's uber cute~! I'm sure Naruto used hidden cameras on Uke-kun for my stuff... *leafing through NaruSasu pornos* Daidou: *shakes head* Um... I'll handle the first question... Er... about you all being locked in a room... I've seen Orochimaru-sama used a jutsu that makes you disappear in a cloud of smoke once or twice in the past, as have a few other nija... why not use that and let everyone out from the outside? Genki: That's Nee-san, always logical. Daidou: Ah... Genki: Now, I have a question! Orochimaru (and no, you're not getting a suffix), why not use that Jonin disguise more often? Really, it was a huge improvement from the norm... Haruko: *popps up* Ne~! In payment for OroKabu porn, will you take some NaruSasu porn~? Uke-kun is so cute in this one~! Genki: Freakin' pervert... Daidou: Ah... bye for now! >.

Orochimaru: Oh God…these chicks again. Kiba: Heh, I think they’re funny. Shino: -puts arm around Kiba possessivelyItachi: Well, we all know it is now. Orochimaru: too True. And as for why not…well, I didn’t think of it at first, but now I’m having too much fun! Kurenai: -roles eyes and tries- … -she stays right where she is. - Damn, it doesn’t work… Lucifel: Of course it doesn’t mwuhahahahaha Sakura: Eep… Orochimaru: why the fuck don’t I get a suffix? And what’s wrong with the way I usually dress? –Looks at his own attire- I think it’s cool. Jiraiya: Yeah and you’re the only one. Orochimaru: -glares- and also…uh, I don’t really have any desire to see Naruto and Sasuke going at it, that blonde kid isn’t really my type. What else you got? , you can always just hand over your soul… Kurenai: You’ve been getting people to sign over their souls for porn?! Orochimaru: Hell yeah. Making great profit too…-claps hands- I love my work! Itachi: Yeah, I bet Sasuke loves your work too… Orochimaru: Thank you. He does. Sakura: Kurenai sensei…will you kill me? Kurenai: Don’t be ridiculous. You’ll be fine. We’ll get out of here eventually. When I don’t meet Asuma this afternoon he’ll come looking… Kiba: hey! –Lewd grin- Why were you meeting Asuma, sensei? Kurenai: To go over some mission stats, you dirty-minded little boy. Kiba: -sticks out tongue- yeah right. Sakura: Let’s just hope so…

Lucifel: Will Asuma come looking for Kurenai? If he gets here, will he even be able to get them out (I think you know, but its fun to tease them)? Was that the real reason Kurenai was meeting him? Will Orochimaru and Jiraiya make up and make out? Will Sakura try to rape Itachi? Stayed tuned for the next installment of Ask Sakura!! Itachi: And keep the Frappucino’s coming, they’re good. Gaara: -nods in agreement-

Ask Sakura 7 Lucifel: Hello lovely people! While I have all your attention I would like to make a humble request. I put up this fic a month ago called “Loyalty Eternal” about Zabuza and Haku and it is a Crossover with Samurai Champloo. Haku gets kidnapped by Kyo (from Samurai Deeper) and Zabuza, with Jin’s help goes to get him back. I have received no reviews, and this makes me sad –tear- so, if I could be so rude, I’d like to request you give it a look, and review. It need only be a small thing such as: I liked it. Or: I did not like it. Here to persuade you further is the one and only Haku-chan! Haku: umm…hi. –Adorable smile and wave- Well, as a favor to Lucifel I am here to go ahead and ask you to review the story. Just assume it’s what would’ve happened to us had we never met Naruto and his group. I don’t know why she thinks I’m that persuasive, but I guess it’s no problem to help her out! Lucifel: Because you’re cute and people lurve you! Anyway! On with Ask Sakura!! Haku: Eh…why I am still here? Zabuza: More importantly why am I here? Lucifel: Because you two are so adorable together! Zabuza: This isn’t exactly what I meant by “going to the same place as you…” Haku: -giggle- Well, I’m glad you’re here, Zabuza-san. Sakura: H-Haku…Z-Zabuza…What are you doing here? Aren’t you…aren’t you…dead? Haku: Last I checked. –cute smileOrochimaru: -eyeing Zabuza hungrily- Who’re the little girl and brooding warrior? Haku: -smile and gigglesKabuto: Orochimaru-Sama, I’m pretty sure that’s a boy. Orochimaru: -shifts attention to Haku- even better… Itachi: I thought you were bi. Orochimaru: I am…but I like cute little boys more than cute little girls. Zabuza: -puts arm around Haku- If you make one false move towards Haku I’ll— Haku: Zabuza-san, calm down. I’ll be fine.

Zabuza: -smiles and pats Haku’s head endearinglyLucifel: Oh my fucking God they’re so CUTE!!!! Sakura: This just keeps getting weirder… Jiraiya: Why don’t you just get on with questions? Lucifel: I did receive a lot of ‘em…whew, this’ll take a while. Sakura: Oh, yeah, right. Ok, first question comes from Chaos Blossom! Ok here's a dare/question 4 ya. sakura, i dare you to go up and lay on whoever and start to suduce them, also if had to ditch sasuke who else would you pick? PS:but not deidara he is mine

Sakura: I’m sorry, this is an questions only deal and— Itachi: ah, ah, ah, Sakura-chan. Be a good girl and do as the reader asks. Sakura: but whyyy?! Lucifel: Because Orochimaru is still really horny. Sakura: -whimpers- fine…-looks around room to see who she should seduce.Here’s the mental list: Jiraiya-too old Shino-too creepy Kiba-Shino’d kill me Kabuto-………just no Orochimaru-…..-shudderKurenai-is a woman… Haku-Zabuza’d kill me Zabuza-...too scary Gaara-would kill me Itachi-Is evil and I would never betray Sasuke!! Sakura:…-sigh- …-mutters- Kabuto it is. -Sakura walks over to where Kabuto is sitting against a wall, watching Orochimaru flirt with Zabuza, arms folded in a sulk. Trying to keep her composure, Sakura sits down beside him and leans across his lap-

Kabuto: Umm…hi? Sakura: Hey. Kabuto: Do you need something? Sakura: -leaning in- no, I just thought we might discuss some more things about Sasuke and Orochimaru… Kabuto: Psh, there’s nothing to discuss. I’ll work on it when we get out of this hell-hole. -Kurenai sees Sakura and Kabuto and starts to head over, but Itachi holds her back, trying not to laugh hystericallySakura: Yeah, it really does suck in here…I mean, really none of my friends are here, and I’m just feeling kind of down…-attempts cute pouty faceKabuto: -slight blush- Yeah, but, I mean…with the whole tickling party— Sakura: Oh, that was fine, but I really didn’t get that much attention after everyone else ed in, and everyone else got to sleep cuddled with someone they really liked, and I just slept mostly by myself… Kabuto: Well, who would you have wanted to cuddle with? Sakura: -playing with the fabric of his pants- oh…no one in particular…-looks up shylyKabuto: Just wishing Sasuke were here? Sakura: -sitting up- yeah! Exactly! –Stalks back over to Itachi leaving Kabuto utterly confused- There, I failed. Happy? Itachi: but you didn’t keep it up long enough! He was almost yours! Kurenai: Why are you putting up with this? Sakura: I can’t explain it Kurenai-sensei…just let me get on with the questions… Kurenai: -shakes head in disbeliefSakura: Anyway, about your question. No one. There is no one I would ever be with besides Sasuke. Itachi: I thought you would marry Lee? Sakura: Only if I HAD to marry someone.

Itachi: oh I see…sure. –Rolls eyesSakura, why are you trying to put moves on Naruto is it because Sasuke is gone. You should stay liking Sasuke, you belong with him. And why did you let Sasuke come between you and Ino and he doesn't even like you (not yet)

Sakura: what? No! I would never try to play with Naruto like that! What are you talking about? And I think Ino and I would have grown apart either way…it’s just how things happen…-sighHaku: This is a very strange situation… Kiba: And you weren’t even here for the best parts! Zabuza: those being? Kiba: Oh you know, Frappucinos, tickling parties, finding out Sasuke’s gay… Zabuza: the black-haired kid? Psh, I could have told you that. Shino: -snickerhi all Kabuto -- too bad you are acting gay instead of bi -- you and Sakura would be cute together. Anyway Sakura: has your cooking got better? If you could see anyone, other than Sasuke or Kakashi, nude -- who would it be? Who is the one person you absolutely never want to be paired with? Kazster

Kabuto: What the fucking fuck? Sakura: -blush- Um, about my cooking…yeah…it’s gotten a little better, I hope. I got some recipes and tips from Choji… Kiba: Please stop talking about food…-stomach growlsSakura: -sigh- yeah. Orochimaru: -munch, munchKiba: You have FOOD?! Orochimaru: Well yeah, I always carry some provisions with me…but this is my last-Kiba: -lunges- GIVE IT TO ME!!!!

-They fight, the granola bar gets thrown out of Orochimaru’s hand and lands in front of Gaara, who picks it up and shares it with ItachiKiba/Oro: -stop fighting and sit pantingKiba: Damn you, where did you put it? Orochimaru: huh? I thought you had it… Kiba/Oro: It must still be somewhere in this room!! –They begin searching franticallySakura: So, I wouldn’t really want to see Kakashi nude… Itachi: Don’t lie. Sakura: -scowl- but I guess the person would have to be…um…well… Kabuto: C’mon. We all wanna know who you think about at night. Sakura: -mutters something inaudibleKabuto: -leaning in close- Whaaaaat? Sakura: Kabuto! Kabuto: -stunnedEveryone else: ………….. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -this continuesSakura: stop! Stop! It’s not that funny! Orochimaru: Y-yes it is…-pantsSakura: -sits pouting until they stopKabuto: -sits stunned even after they stopJiraiya: Ok, go ahead and answer the rest…snrrk. Sakura: yeah fine… Inner Sakura: Sure now that you’ve all had your kicks with me…bastards… Sakura: This is an easy one. Orochimaru.

Orochimaru: Oh, ouch. –Weepy eyes- That hurts Sakura. It hurts right here –pats chestInner Sakura: Ask me if I care. Sakura: Next ques— Kiba: -GASPKurenai: What is it? Kiba: -dramatically- I have followed the trail of the Granola bar all the way to… GAARA’S STOMACH!! Gaara: eh? Shino: Oh, too bad for y— Kiba: It has taken hiding within Gaara! COME OUT YOU LITTLE FUCKER!! Gaara:-trying to push Kiba away as Kiba tries to…do something involving Gaara’s stomach- Wtf? Jiraiya: -To Kurenai- Is your kid gonna be ok? Kurenai: -sigh- he’s just hungry… Jiraiya: Well, heck, so am I, but I’m not trying to get a granola out of Gaara’s stomach. I know better. It would be all covered in sand. Kurenai: -backs away slowlySakura: …next question please… HI SAKURA :D i will give sasuke back if you totally convince gaara to answer this question. 1.can you kill kankuro for me? he is reeaally annoying and looks like some wierdo who sacrafices crap! either that or kill orochimaru. he told me your sand looks pink, are you gay or something? HAHA! have fun!! no hard feelings right sakura? PLEASE CAN WE BE FRIENDS?

Sakura: You! I refuse to answers questions from you!! Itachi: Ok, well, I guess Kabuto and I will have to answer for you…if Kabuto snaps out of it anytime soon –eyes the still-shocked Kabuto- let’s see…she weighs about two hundred pounds and he hair is pink because— Sakura: enough! Enough! Fine…hey…they never asked my weight!

Itachi: Yeah, and? Sakura: -scowlInner Sakura: You fucking bastard!!!!! Orochimaru: -thinks- Whoa…that was an intense one…hehe, must be hard to be so horny.. Sakura: -glances at Gaara who is still trying to keep Kiba away from him- Um…I really don’t have any desire to kill Kankuro— Gaara: -suddenly beside her- WHO’S trying to kill Kankuro? Sakura: -small, evil grin- oh, just this girl called Hilarious Tragedy… Gaara: -cracks knuckles and Glares- ’m coming for you, bitch….wait…Orochimaru said my sand looks pink? Sakura: -another evil smile, bigger- He did, I heard him. Gaara: -turns on OrochimaruOrochimaru: What’s your problem kid? Gaara: Say it again. Orochimaru: Say what? Gaara: You know what! Go ahead, say it again and see what happens. Orochimaru: Um…I’ve said a lot of things. Gaara: Yeah, that’s right. You keep being cute, we’ll see how cute you are when I’m done. Orochimaru: hah? -lots of cartoonish banging, smoke clouds, and swearing…which therefore makes it BETTER than looney toons!-The fight ends, they lie panting and Orochimaru pulls out a mirrorOrochimaru: Nope, I’m still pretty cute. Jiraiya: -Rolls eyes-

Orochimaru: -hurt glance at JiraiyaSakura: mehehehe. Now that Gaara’s answered the question you must return Sasuke!!...We’ll see about the friends thing. Until next time guys!! Gaara: -sits up and points- ‘m coming for you bitch.

Ask Sakura-A small note Hi Everyone! It’s Angel Lucifel, the wonderfully perverted yaoi-fangirl who is currently writing the tragic story of about a dozen Shinobi trapped in a room where they are forced to answer the questions any of you lovely people feel free to ask! Especially Sakura. Heeheehee. Now, I am here in between chapters to make some humble requests: One, hold off questions for a bit. I’m overwhelmed. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE being overwhelmed, this has made me SO happy to have such a big response, but right now I’m like, a page behind and more keep coming in! gaaah!! So, if you could, resist from asking questions until I post…umm…probably chapter eleven. Then I should be caught up (expect long chapters XD) Another reason why you should do this is because when I keep getting so many reviews I feel more pressured to write quickly and then –shudder- I loose the humor that could be! (thank you Kohaku-chan for making sure things stay funny) Two, please, try to keep your questions a wee bit shorter. You ranters know who you are, and oh how your reviews make me giggle, but it’s hard to answer such long letters. Hold back just a bit, ok? Three, I moving the limit to Three questions per letter. K? Feel free to ask questions every chapter, (after chapter eleven) but this way more people per edition will be answered! Four, I’m gonna start updating every other day. I’ve been doing two or three a day (that’s how obsessed I became…and why my brain has run out of funniness) but I need to let myself really do these right. So, every other day…and that’s just so I don’t fall too far behind. (This is, of course, subject to change should I receive less than four reviews for a chapter, or if I’m sick, on vacation, etc, etc.) Five, and this is IMPORTANT, I got a few reviews (mostly from the same person) going on about things that happen after the time-skip. I understand the reasons behind them, but I, being the horribly lazy fan that I am, have only watched up to when the fillers start. So, that this is supposed to be taking place at about that time. K? Just that, so if you think “wait, so-and-so died, and so-and-so went and did this” that’s the reason. Ok! That’s it! I love all of you! (even the yaoi-haters XD) and if you could just do these couple things, I’d love you all the more! This has made me so, so, so, so happy, you do not even realize! I look forward to the reviews I’ll get after Chapter eleven! P.S. Feel free, of course, to look at and review my other stories! XD , Haku wants you to!!

Ask Sakura 8 Genki: 'These chicks'? WHY YOU SEXIST SON OF A-! Daidou: Genki-chan! Hush! Besides, the more we write these things, the more everyone else suffers being stuck in that room... Haruko: HA! -pops up holding something triumphantly- I found it!! Genki: I'm afraid to ask... but found what? Haruko: -lewd grin- Ultimate payment... Oro-kun~! I like my soul where it is... but how about a photo album of Uke-kun in Gothic Lolita dresses? Daidou: -pales- Where on Earth did you get... THAT?! Haruko: Same place i got my NaruSasu porn... Naruto. Genki: O.o Haruko: Anyways... Kiba, we found Akamaru~! He's with us! Akamaru: Woof! Genki: ... Daidou: Ha ha... we fed him... so we'll give him back when you're out of there... ^^; Haruko: -waves album- PLEASE SAY THIS IS PAYMENT ENOUGH!! I WANT PR0N! Other two: -hug- Eep... Akamaru: UO.OU Woof...

Sakura: ha! We start today right off with a question! So no interference! -Kiba tackles Gaara in the background, screaming “you can’t hide in there forever!” as he does soOrochimaru: Wow, you chicks really are bitches… Sakura: what? Whyyy?! I’m not sexist! I like you guys! Why are you hurting me? Orochimaru: GASP! –grabs album- that’ll do. –starts excitedly leafing through itSakura: Kiba, do you wanna stop trying to rip Gaara’s stomach open for a minute and come see this. Kiba: -scrambles over-…-reads letter-……YOU BITCHES!!!! GIVE HIM BACK RIGHT NOW OR I’LL— Kurenai: Kiba-kun, calm down, it sounds like they’re taking good care of him. Kiba: -holds up hand- No, Kurenai-sensei, this is a matter of pride. Akamaru is my responsibility. If I don’t do this I’ll never be able to look anyone from my clan in the face again. I have to—ugh! –faints as Shino knocks him over the headKurenai: -catching Kiba and gently laying him down- Good move Shino. Shino: -nods- We’ll wake him up when we have food to give him, that should make him…less crazy… Kurenai: yeah… Shin/Kurenai: -sigh-

Orochimaru: OH MY GOD!! Sakura: What now? Orochimaru: these pictures are so CUTE!! Itachi: -blushing- Can I…can I see? Orochimaru: -shock- um…I guess so. What’ll you give me? It’s worth quite a high price. Itachi: -smirk-Itachi then grabbed Orochimaru’s collar and pulled him into a kiss so ionate and intense everyone in the room could feel it just by watchingItachi: -leans backOrochimaru: -breathless- That’ll do. Itachi: -Sits down and starts looking at albumOrochimaru: -to Jiraiya- You wanna look? –Kinky eyebrowsJiraiya: Ah…no thanks. Orochimaru: -small pout and then giddy smile again as he looks back at the albumSakura, I'm going to be real blunt with you: I think that you are a useless fangirl (that doesn't even deserve to be called a kunoichi) that only daydreams about getting it on with Sasuke, who is clearly gay. And doesn't even deserve to fuck with OROCHIMARU! In fact, I like Ino better, at least she doesn't try to hide the fact that she is a slut. (breathes)Okay, I'm done. Now on with the questions! Dear Sakura, 1. Why do you always call Naruto annoying when you're really the one that is annoying? 2. If Sasuke never existed, who would you go after? 3. For Itachi: Why did you paint your toenails purple? Were you trying to be more gay or did you just secretly wanted to be a girl? 4. For Orochimaru: Why don't you just give up on Sasuke and be with Kabuto, you two are clearly meant to be? 5. For Gaara: How is it that you can manage to be so scary yet so sexy at the same time? PS: Aww, Kiba, Shino, would you mind if I videotape you two screwing each other? 'holds camera up'

Sakura: -goes teary eyed- b-but…I just…I…I love him…I can’t just ignore that…Ino isn’t better than me…she’s not…-whine, weep, cry, whine….Zabuza: -to Shino- Wanna knock her out to? Shino: I do…but I can’t.

Zabuza: Why not? Shino: She’s the whole theme of this story. Zabuza: huh? Shino: -silenceZabuza: -backs away slowlyIta/Oro: -Giggle at one of the picturesGaara: -discreetly peeks over Itachi’s shoulderJiraiya: now, now, Sakura, just calm down and answer the questions… Sakura: I don’t want to! These people are horrible! Itachi: I guess I’ll answer then… Sakura: No! no! I’ll do it… Itachi: -triumphant smirk and goes back to picturesSakura: ….-lip quivers- See? The question is so MEAN! Kurenai: Dammit, Sakura, stop being a pussy and answer the damn question! Everyone not knocked out or looking at the album: -shocked stareKurenai: What? Sakura: I call Naruto annoying because he is, and I can’t imagine a world without Sasuke. Jiraiya: Is that it? Kabuto: -finally snaps out of shockSakura: Ask a mean question, get a blunt answer. Itachi: -while still looking at pictures- Yeah…but the truth is if Sasuke never existed she’d be all over Kabuto right now. Kabuto: -goes back in-

Sakura: no! That’s not true! Answer your question already! Itachi: Fine, fine…I paint my toenails so they look pretty. Jiraiya: -twitchy stareHaku: -looks at them- They do look very pretty. Zabuza: -face-palmItachi: thank you. –Flips page and makes a small noise of excitement as Orochimaru claps his handsGaara: -looks at toenails-…-looks back at picturesOrochimaru: -looks up from album- I’m not ‘meant for’ anyone. I just screw people, it’s what I do. –goes back to albumGaara: -looks up- I’m not answering any questions, get it in your heads. –glaresItachi: And that would be how. Gaara: -glaresLucifel: HEY! That P.S. Technically makes a sixth question!! You sneak! Shino: -Looks down at the unconscious Kiba- Well, we won’t be doing anything right now…and I prefer to keep him to myself. –smirkOrochimaru: -looking up again- I-is he that good? Shino: -nodsOrochimaru: If anyone else wants kabu/me porn I will accept Kiba (with anyone but Naruto or someone weird like konohamaru or something…) porn in exchange! Shino: There better not be any… Wow I can't believe you did the tickling thing. Anyway time for questions. 1. If Sasuke tried to kill you, would you try to defend yourself, or would you just stand their and let him kill you? 2. This ones for Itachi. Since your Undoubtedly the strongest person in the show, why don't you take over the world, and make everyone your slaves. -Believe itPS: Sakura, you won't escape before Orochimaru rapes you. He will probably tie you to the chair to make sure you don't get away.

Orochimaru: What’s not to believe! It was freaking awesome! Haku: I just wish I had been there… Orochimaru: Oh, we can re-enact it for you. Zabuza: -puts arm around Haku possessively- Back off, creep. Orochimaru: Oh and you’re not creepy? Zabuza: Of course I am. Orochimaru: So you…wait...I…hmm –sits to think up witty comeback but gets distracted by album againSakura: It would depend on the situation…overall I think I would defend myself, but I would gladly die for him if it would help him. Kabuto: -nods in understanding, but is still speechlessItachi: Oh gag me. And to answer your question…that’s just not my objective. Orochimaru: Well, what IS your objective? Itachi: Not that. Orochimaru: -raises eyebrow- ooook…and hey! Itachi is not the strongest! Ita/Gaa: -Scoot away from Oro with the albumJiraiya: Of course he’s not. I am. Orochimaru: The fuck you are. Jiraiya: Itachi had to run from me. Orochimaru: I’ve never even fought Itachi! Jiraiya: So he didn’t run from you? Orochimaru: I. never. even. fought. him. Jiraiya: And therefore he didn’t run from you. Orochimaru: Well, yeah, but…

Jiraiya: Yeah. That’s what I thought… Orochimaru: But…I…you…Stop screwing with my head! Jiraiya: I thought screwing was your thing. Orochimaru: When I’m the one doing the screwing! Jiraiya: It’s no fun if you’re always the one on top. Orochimaru: -blinks in surprise- Well… -smile and blushJiraiya: -walks away smirkingOrochimaru: -walks over to Itachi and Gaara and yanks the album from them, and starts going through it again, mind obviously elsewhereYo guys sorry about you being trapped in the room and Itachi I don't care if you're gay because I read ItachiXNaruto which I define as KAWAI! (Cute) yes I'm a boy and not gay because I also like NarutoXHinata and NarutoXTayuya I also like GaaraXNaruto because you guys are the same and my questions are 1) Orochimaru-san I hate you with ion but respect your work. But why do you have to be a pedophile? 2) Itachi-kun you're the sweetest evil character but why did you kill your clan? 3) Where is Hinata-chan and Naruto-Kun at the moment Sakura-san? 4) Gaara do you like Sakura or something because I'd that too? 5) And finally Jiraiya are you going to turn into a yaoi pervert?

Jiraiya: You should hang your head in shame! What kind of man are you?! Itachi: Me…and…Naruto? –horrorZabuza: -rolls eyesKurenai: There’s nothing wrong with that. I completely ed Anko when she got a girlfriend, does that make me a bad woman? Orochimaru: whoa! Hold up! Anko got a girlfriend? Kurenai: A long time ago. You didn’t know? Orochimaru: Are…are they still together? Kurenai: No.

Orochimaru: Oh…damn. Well, I agree with Kurenai. Nothing wrong with being a straight man who understands a good guy/guy couple when he sees one. Itachi: GOOD MY ASS! I would never, NEVER do anything with that loud-mouthed blonde kid! Gaara, you’re in the same predicament, back me up! Gaara: -ignores and continues looking at the pictures of SasukeOrochimaru: Burn. And to answer your question, kid. First off, thank you for not being like that other brat –thinks- whom I will find and strangle as soon as I get out of here. – End thinking- and giving me due respect. And it’s just what I do. I screw people. And I’m not gonna leave anyone out just because they’re a little younger than me, or the same gender… Jiraiya: Or an animal. Orochimaru: Or an animal…wait! Dammit Jiraiya that wasn’t funny! Jiraiya: -snickerOrochimaru: -poutsItachi: -hands Orochimaru the album to make him feel better- and to answer my question…I’m not answering it. Sakura: That’s not fair! You made me answer every single embarrassing question they asked! You have to! -And for one moment Itachi’s ears were opened to a sinister voice which warned him thus:Lucifel: And if you don’t I wont let you have anymore Frappucinos ever. Itachi: -gasp- I…I…-sigh-…fine. –MuttersKabuto: -Perking up finally- Come on Itachiiii…spill it out. Itachi: ugh, fine. They…wouldn’t let me paint my nails. –Tears up at the memoryEveryone: -shock and horrorOrochimaru: -drops albumGaara: -picks up album and takes it with him to a cornerShino: -glances around and follows Gaara-

Kabuto: You killed everyone because of that? Itachi: -nodsOrochimaru: That is the single most petty and weird reason for mass-murder I have ever heard…God you are so freaking awesome!! Gaara: -feels a little less monstrousKurenai: oh, when the others hear about this… Sakura: Naruto and Hinata are currently being held captive by the most horrible Ino-pig! Jiraiya: Whaaat? We’re here with this shapeless strawberry and they get the hot blonde? Sakura: hey… Inner Sakura: You pervert! You’re gonna get it! I’m just as hot as that bitch!! Orochimaru: -thinks- Oh, there she goes again…wait…was it because he mentioned Ino? Kinky! XD Kabuto: Gaara. Come on, you can answer this one. Gaara: -flips page- No I can’t. Shino: -turns page back- I wasn’t done. Kabuto: Then I guess that means Gaara does have a thing for Sakura. Gaara: -snaps to his feet, glaring- and who the fuck said that? Kabuto:-checks- Lyon Ryuushi Gaara: -write name on list next to Hilarious Tragedy’s. - Oh, I’m gonna be busy when I get out of here. –Evil grinKurenai: Well, Jiraiya, I’d like the answer to this next one as well. Sakura: -thinks- yeah, wouldn’t we all… Jiraiya: -ahem- Of course! It has become my new life goal to be the biggest pervert in every category ever!! Bwuhahahaha!! Kurenai: O.O

Orochimaru: -hopeful smile-Long, silent pause…tumbleweeds blow byJiraiya: BWAHAHAHAHHA! You all bought it! Yeah right! I may be a pervert but I’ll stick to lovely women, thank you. Kurenai: -relieved sighOrochimaru: -crushedKabuto: -tries to comfort OrochimaruOrochimaru:-shoves Kabuto away and goes to crouch in a corner making circles in the dust on the floorDear Sakura, I laugh at ur pain =P Okay Sakura why wont u answer the pink hair question? i saw a pic of Choujis mom she has pink hair, while her husband has red...and chouji is a brunette- were u and Choujis switch at birth or are you really related to them and thats why we don't ever see your family?! For Orochimaru- how can u not like Blondes there the best!! Anyway Sakura- bye bye!

Sakura: -dramatically- Why do they laugh?! Zabuza: Because this all just one, big ridiculous mess? Haku: -gigglesEveryone’s Thinking: -OMG! HE IS SO CUTE!!!Sakura: -shifty eyes- So onto the next— Itachi: Sakura. Sakura: Y-yes? Itachi: you know better by now don’t you? Sakura: -sigh- yes. Itachi: Good. So answer the kid’s question. Sakura: Uh…well…my hair…umm…Choji and I… Everyone: ANSWER THE QUESTION!!! Sakura: ItsnaturalandIhavenorelationtoChojiIswearbutthatsalie!!! –Pants-

Itachi:…ok…Orochimaru are you going to answer your question? Orochimaru: no… Itachi: Fine, be emo like that. Orochimaru: -whines- I’m not… Itachi: No, no, it’s fine. I’ll get you a nice Fall Out Boy CD for Christmas. Orochimaru: -whimper/poutSakura: Ok, last question for today; Haha Yay ^^ -waves at kurenaiWill asuma come looking for kurenai... I HOPE NOT. questions... Kurenai... why dont you go out with kakashi? or maybe itachi? (they dont have lung cancer and they're HOT!) -smilesOrochimaru do you ever get funky/freaky with your tongue... 0.0 it looks like you can do many things with it xP Shino what colour eyes do you have? Itachi if everyone in the world died except kurenai, sakura and orochimaru who would you do it with? If you wanted all three xP ps. i dont think sasuke is gay... AND Jiriya get away from kurenai!! she is property of kakashi, asuma or itachi! __vivian

Sakura: Again…they laugh… Haku: And on top of that they don’t even want anyone to come save us. Zabuza: -mutters- You know…I’m really starting to miss being dead… Haku: I don’t mind either way. –leans against ZabuzaLucifel: OMG! They’re cuter than Shino and Kiba!!! Shino: Kurenai-sensei, are you gonna answer the question? Kurenai: I thought this was Sakura’s thing.

Itachi: Nah, we’re all stuck in this thing. Kurenai: -rolls eyes and mutters- I may as well clear this up…Kakashi’s not my type… too irresponsible. Itachi: And me? Kurenai: You’re gay. Itachi: And if I wasn’t? Kurenai: You’re evil Itachi: And if I wasn’t? Kurenai: Then you wouldn’t be you. Itachi: And if I wasn’t? ...I mean if I was? Kurenai: Then you’d be evil. Itachi: But what if I was me but I had never turned evil? Kurenai: I don’t know who you’d be then. Itachi: But am I sexy? Kurenai: -blush- I don’t see what that— Itachi: That’s all I wanted to know. Kurenai: …That doesn’t even have anything to do with… Itachi: -is too busy iring how sexy he is in a pocket mirrorKurenai: …ugh, never mind. Kabuto: Since Orochimaru is currently moping, I’ll answer his question for him. –Kinky smile- all the time. Gaara: -nudges ShinoShino: -Looks up from album- huh? Oh. Black. –Goes back to itOrochimaru: -looks up and slinks back over to the album-

Itachi: hmmm…The thing is, I could do any one of those people whenever I wanted. Kurenai/Sakura: THE HELL YOU COULD! Orochimaru: -mutters- yea, ya could. Itachi: So there’s not much point to that question. Sakura: Well Sasuke’s not gay! Ita/Oro/Jira: but he is. Sakura: -whimpers and poutsKurenai: And I’m not the property of anyone. –SeethesJiraiya: -cowers- Never test the nerves of a frazzled feminist… Men: -nod in agreementSakura: Well, it’s nice to end on a note that actually gets the men on the defensive. So until next time! Bye!!

Ask Sakura 9 Sakura-san (If you would like a different suffix I'd be happy to oblige), 1) If someone held a kunai to your head, which would you choose: A. Trade Inner Sakura for Shukaku or Kyuubi B. the Akatsuki or C. Set Shikamaru's pants on fire, just for the hell of it (I'm very, truly regretful Sakura-san, but I can't physically help you. You have my moral to the fullest though!) Gaara-san (I know it's probably not worth the effort since you made your intentions clear, but I feel I should try), 2) If someone -stupidly- offered you a chance to be free of Shukaku-sama if you kissed Sakura-san, would you: A. Sand Coffin their deluded ass B. Go through with it or C. Stare blankly, turn around and suffer through Shukaku-sama whining about how you should be -thankful- that you have him (Again, I know you probably don't want to acknowledge this so please, feel free to totally disregard this) Orochimaru-sama (Ye Gods I feel so dirty and ashamed to write this but...) Do yo- ah, crap...- have you ever read yuri or implied yuri fanfics? *blushes* I'm not a pervert or anything, believe me, but there's a damn good implied yuri fic starring Anko-san and Sakura-san, written by a literary genius called Eimii. It's called Surien and I think it might intrest you, as well as the rest of the characters stuck giving advice to readers. (Forgive me Sakura-san, but I think you'd best read this separate from the males... Oh! Kurenai-senpai {I can't rightly call her 'sensei', considering my non-ninja status} also has a big role in it, as well as the rest of her squad.) Itachi-san (Should I give you a higher suffix? I'm not quite sure...), I know this isn't a question, but everybody else seems intent on giving gifts so I'd like to start with my most ired male character (not crazy-stalker ire, just, You're-So-Freakingly-Awesome-And-IReally-Wish-I-Could-Meet-You-Someday ire. And yes, I did just make up the word 'Freakingly'). I'll give the other characters gifts later on if they want but in the meantime... *Blushes and looks down before ing a Frappicino (NO idea how to spell that damn legal drug) Machine and numerous crates of Frappicino Mix along to Itachi-san in whatever way that happens* Y'know, just thought it would be a nice thing to give you since it's the Holidays and I know how horrible it can be to be depraved of caffeine in the most inopportune moments. So... anyways, please find the time to answer my questions (Except Gaara-san, because he specifically said he didn't want to) Sincerely, Kryah

Lucifel: So yeah, Kryah is my new best friend, btw. She makes me giggle. XD Itachi: Jesus CHRIST that’s a long letter. Lucifel: And that is why I giggle. Kabuto: We have to answer ALL of that? Jiraiya: And this is when I’m glad no one’s really asking me that many questions. Shino: Has anyone found any food yet? I’d really like to wake up Kiba sometime soon. Gaara: Why? He’s a pain.

Shino: Yeah, in the ass…if you know what I mean. Gaara: -evilly kinky smileOrochimaru: -nudging the album- Yeah, yeah, just keep flipping the pages. Sakura: Ok, well, to answer your questions: first off, no, san is perfectly fine. And… Itachi: What the fuck is inner Sakura? Do ALL you bloody kids have demons in you?! Sakura: Anyway, I’d probably have to go and trade inner Sakura. I could never the Akatsuki and…setting Shikamaru’s pants on fire is too dangerous because I’d be afraid he’d be too lazy to put it out. Shino: -snickerSakura: Gaara, will yGaara: Can’t you see I’m BUSY?! –gestures albumSakura: Y-yeah. Itachi: I’m thinking Sand Coffin. Kabuto: Definitely. Sakura: Since Orochimaru’s busy as well we can definitely ski— Orochimaru: Oh, it’s fine. Sakura: -thinks- Idon’twanttoknowIdon’twanttoknow Orochimaru: You bet your ass I do! Anko getting it on with other girls? I am THERE. Gaara: Where now? Orochimaru: Just go back to the pictures. Gaara: ‘K. Itachi: You should probably use sa…ma…-goes all starry/wide eyed- It’s…It’s beautiful. –places Frappucino machine gingerly on the ground.Gaara: -reaches out in awe to touch it-

Itachi: -slaps hand awayOrochimaru: Y-you’re gonna share right? Itachi: Hell NO. Are you kidding me? Sakura: I’m moving on now! dear sakura, i'm back! I got a job in starbucks!! yay! discounts on frappacinos!woohoo!^^ oh!here Ita-chan and Gaachan your frappacinnos!! Q(4 Jirai-chan) why don't you cut your hair? cuz your hair sucks... the ppl who get 2 keep their long hair are Ita-chan and Hima-chan it looks better on them!! Q(4 Gaa-chan and Ita-chan) what type of frappacinno flavor u like caramel or mocha?Also Gaa-chan tell ur bro(i didn't his name) to take off the make up he looks like crap with it...T.T Q(4 Kura-chan) do u like any coffee from starbucks? and if u do which one? PS tell fuzzy..er i mean lee i'm sorry it wasn't me how wrote it that he creeps me out...it was my little brother...stupid lil' punk heh heh he shall be punished!!ha ha! bye bye!!^^

Orochimaru: I call Itachi’s share of those frappucinos! Itachi: -caressing the frap machine in total oblivionGaara: -snatches frap greedilyJiraiya: -snoreKabuto: -shoves Jiraiya- Ne, Jii-san. Someone actually asked you a question. Jiraiya: hrnk? Oh…what’s wrong with my hair?! It is sage like! It is beautiful! It— Kabuto: IS pretty gay-looking. Jiraiya: Maybe when you’ve lived half as long as I have you can talk. Kabuto: Maybe when you can think half as well as I can we’ll have a discussion about that. Jiraiya: Why you!! -crashing and tumbling in the background behind a confused and worried Sakura. Words like ‘smart-mouthed kid’ and ‘perverted old geezer’ are among the few that can be made out.Gaara: I don’t know my favorite flavor. You better just keep sending ‘em.

Orochimaru: I thought you weren’t answering questions? Gaara: If it involves me getting Frappucinos or not I do. Orochimaru: Ah –sips Itachi’s frapGaara: And back off about Kankuro, unless you wanna go on the list. –GlaresItachi: -starts whistling as he makes his first frappucinoShino: Itachi, you are gonna share right? Itachi: -glares over his shoulderHaku: -to Zabuza- Zabuza-san, I’m getting a little thirsty… Itachi: -hands Haku the Frappucino he just made.Haku: -takes it- Thank you. –Pretty smileLucifel: SO. FREAKING. CUUUUTE!!! Zabuza: -glares at ItachiOrochimaru: How come Haku gets a frappucino?! Itachi: -gives Orochimaru a look that says ‘because he’s pretty’Orochimaru: -muttersSakura: oh yes! I would just love a white-chocolate mocha right now! I also like caramel things! Thanks! You’re the best! I’ll be sure to tell Lee (if I ever see him again…-_-‘) Again I'm back~! -Hands out muffins and cookies.. and frappucinos.Yeah.. Orochimaru-sama~!!.. You can have my soul, and you don't even have to give me porn..! I just want to ask.. When you all get out of that room.. Can I get hugs? -Puppy eyes.- ... If you need any motivation.. My racks about as big as Tsu-.. Never mind… -Rant-

Everybody: FOOD!!!!! -Stampede as everyone scrambles for the cookies and muffins, even Kabuto and Jiraiya stop fighting in light of pastries…-

Shino: -takes a muffin over to Kiba and wakes him upKiba: -snaps awake- I’VE GOTTA GET AKA— Shino: -shoves muffin into Kiba’s mouthKiba: -sits down and munches happily next to Shino.Orochimaru: Hey! Awesome! Cookies and a soul! This is my day! See Kabuto? They’re lining up… Kabuto: yeah, yeah… Jiraiya: I would like to volunteer as MANY hugs as this girl wants when I get out! Orochimaru: Hell yeah! Me too! Jiraiya: But I didn’t think you were into boobs…? Orochimaru: But I’m into girls who bring me FOOD! Jiraiya: Ah, well that makes sense. Urgh... too many yaoi pairings for me to take...(I must be like, the ONLY reviewer for the story who doesn't like them. Oh well. The humor is keeping me reading. XD) Anyway, I'm quite sure you can beat me with your tongue, Orochimaru. But that's because your tongue is freaking weird. What could you possibly eat to get it like that!? (Yeah, that IS a question to be answered.) SAKURA, DON'T GIVE UP!! (And I can't BELIEVE you liked the tickle fest! NO!) There's still hope for you and Sasuke... and where is he? Everyone's been talking about him forever... -danielie

Lucifel: Yeeeah…I guess I should have made a warning earlier about my yaoi fan-girlness. Good thing I’m funny XD Sakura: You’re not the only one getting weirded out by it. –side-glance at Shino, Kiba and Itachi.Orochimaru: -narrows eyes- oh. It’s YOU. I don’t eat anything, girly, I’m just naturally awesome. Kind of like how you’re naturally a loser. Sakura: You’re one to talk…oh and the tickle-fest…that…uh…I…let’s never talk about it again ok? Orochimaru: Of course not. It’s not about talking. It’s about doing. Sakura: Yeah, and let’s never do it again. Itachi: Where is Otouto?

Sakura: captured!! By the most devilish of fiends!! Itachi: Riiight. okay, I think I read something about you all not having food so, since Angel can't take care of her captives, here's some rice and eggs and miso and coffee. Also Itachi, You have got to try this MOCHA frappucino. it is the best! Hands to Itachi. Oh and I got a caramel one for Gaara. Hands to Gaara. Question. Where is Akamaru!?!?! I'm so worried about him. also to everybody... Truth or Dare? *evil grin*

Kabuto: Yes! Some substantial food! Kiba: The fuck? Kabuto: What? Kiba: you’re weird…-wary glanceKabuto: -chews riceOrochimaru: AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Kabuto: What? What is it? Orochimaru: The album is finished!! Gaa/Ita/Shin: GASP Orochimaru: Pleeeease send more! I have more of Kabuto and I! I even have some stuff with Kimimaro thrown in! Kiba: like, with BOTH of you? Orochimaru: A couple, yeah, Kabuto was a little looser back then… Kabuto: -blushItachi: Mocha huh… Gaara: …hmm… Ita/Gaa: -sip- gasp -go wide eyed- …-switch- gasp! -Happy smilesKiba: -sniff- Akamaru is also captured…poor thing…I…I feel so horrible. –sniffleShino: -hugs Kiba-

Lucifel: SQUEEEEE!!! SO CUTE! Itachi: Hmm, dare. Orochimaru: Dare. Kiba: DARE!! Shino: -shrugsKiba: that means dare! Shino: -shrugs againKabuto: Truth. Oro/Jira: Pussy. Kabuto: Whatever… Jiraiya: dare! –Thinks- pleaseinvolveboobs, pleaseinvolveboobs. Sakura: Tru-Insert buzzer sound hereItachi: Sakura, every question asked to you is a truth, technically, I don’t think you should be allowed to pick truth. Sakura: B-but…what about the questions they’re asking you guys!? Itachi: We’re all picking dare. Jiraiya: Except Kabuto. Because he’s a pussy. Kabuto: -whines- I am noooot. Orochimaru: Yes you are. Kabuto: -whimperSakura: Ugh! Fine! Dare! Kurenai: Why are we doing this again? Itachi: I’m doing it for Frappucinos, personally.

Orochimaru: Don’t ask, just answer. Kurenai: -rolls eyes- dare. Jiraiya: -thinks- hell yeah, I like ‘em dangerous. … Itachi: Ne, Zabuza and Haku, you gonna answer? Zabuza: The fuck? We have to answer too? Haku: Truth. Zabuza: And you’re just going along with it? Haku: It could be fun. Zabuza: -rolls eyes- Yeah, whatever. Dare…what the hell does that even mean? Kabuto: Now you have to do whatever you’re dared to do. Zabuza: Aww, fuck that shit. Kabuto: Ok, you go ahead and try to resist it then. Better men than you have tried and failed before. Orochimaru: Actually, just a pink-haired shapeless runt. Sakura: HEY! Orochimaru: At least being shapeless makes you more like a boy. Sakura: Why should that be any better? Orochimaru: Cuz it makes you cuter. Sakura: -horrorItachi: Well, Gaara? Gaara: -still drinking frappucinosKiba: I think we can safely guess dare.

Gaara: :3 Kiba: he’s almost freakier when he’s happy… Shino: -nodsOrochimaru: PLEASE SEND MORE PICTURES OF SASUKE-KUN!!! Lucifel: And oh yeah! MERRY CHRISTMAS to you wonderful readers and reviewers!! And Happy Holidays to anyone who is not celebrating Christmas. ^_^ Itachi: This has been the best Christmas EVER. XD –skitters off to make more frappucinos-

Ask Sakura Christmas Special!! Lucifel: hey! Welcome to the Ask Sakura Christmas Bash!!! (Sure, it’s like, one am on Christmas but who cares?!) -Twas the early morning after Christmas And with a poof all were dressed in Christmas-y clothing. Including Kurenai in a minidress decorated like a Santa-coat, and reindeer antlers on Kiba. Basically just think of everyone’s outfits turned red with white fur, and Kabuto’s glasses are now tinted red and greenKabuto: WTF?! –Takes off glasses and tries and rub them cleanKurenai: -stands super straight to get as much length out of the coat as possibleJiraiya: I’ve got my Christmas gift!! Kurenai: -mumbles- pervert. Itachi: -looking at his new red coat- hmmm. –Shrugs and cuddles with his frappucino machine, sipping on the one he just madeGaara: I’m going to kill who ever put these on us. Kiba: -tugging at antlers- they won’t come off. Sakura: Hey! This is our very special Christmas edition! A couple people sent Christmas well-wishes and Kryah sent a VERY special pm to us, which we’ll open at the end here, so I decided that it would be nice to go ahead a skip the two pages we’re behind on and reply to those holiday greetings!! –Mumbles- of course I didn’t know it would mean getting into these get-ups… Lucifel: Shut up! You all look cute! Sakura: So, here’s our first Christmas well-wisher! OMG, Orochimaru did NOT just call me a loser. That is a diss I cannot take from someone so lame. But my response would probably be something so bad I'd be blocked off the site. And since Orochimaru is so obviously not worth it, I'll ignore. And MERRY CHRISTMAS SAKURA! -Hands Sakura a Sasuke plushYou're my fave, so I have to give you something. And hide it well. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES must Orochimaru get his slimy hands on it. Ja ne! -danielie

Orochimaru: What the hell? Why do I have to deal with THIS chick on Christmas?! Go ahead, girly, TRY it. I dare you to try and offend me. Gaara put her name on the list! Gaara: the fuck? This is my list. Make your own.

Orochimaru: now Gaara, that’s not very in the Christmas spirit. Gaara: We’re ninjas! We don’t even celebrate Christmas!! Orochimaru: Whatever…fine. I’ll make a list better than yours. –sticks out tongue…a full two feetSakura: Squeee!!! It’s so cute! –she’s not talking about Oro’s tongue, btwOrochimaru: -suddenly holding plushie- What? This? Sakura: -shock and horror- how…what… Orochimaru: I’m a freaking Sannin you don’t mess with this…and huh, he is kind of cute…-starts acting like he’s gonna lick itSakura: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!! –begin chase scene around and around the room. Orochimaru holding the plushie in front of Sakura tauntinglyOrochimaru: -in a singsong- You can’t get it. I’m gonna lick it. Sakura: -tearing up- noooo!! Kurenai: Oh yes, the great and powerful Sannin, mocking a little girl by stealing her toy. Orochimaru: -flips Kurenai the finger as he runs pastMerry Christmas 2 u too. I love ur story! ...=)...=)... =)...=)...=)...=)...=)...=)... *in little girls voice* *puts on puppy face* Can i send a letter? -Sarafina the Ninja Goddess-

Kabuto: In Sakura’s place— Sakura: -as she and Oro run by behind Kabuto- Give it baaaack!!! Kabuto: -ahem- I’d like to thank you for your complements…since it seems suffering for the joy of others is what we’re here to do; I guess it’s great we’re doing our job. Itachi: Wow, the ion behind that was stifling. Kabuto: Shuddup. Lucifel: and thanks from me of course!! Anyone is free to send letter but I’ll only reply to questions given by review. Kryah’s only getting away with it because it’s not technically

a question, and cuz she did because I asked people to wait until chapter 11… (What? I’m not frazzled. Me? Never…) Also! Sarafina claimed me as new best friend! Yay! I’m getting so many wonderful friends!! Merry Christmas to everybody! I give Orochimaru-sama my eternal loyalty! (with a big red ribbon and everything!) -Kohaku-kawa Itachi: and WHY does Orochimaru get a present and the rest of us don’t? Kabuto: Quit you’re whining, you already got a freaking Frappucino machine! Itachi: Oh yeah. : 3 Orochimaru: Cool! A ribbon! –plays with ribbonMerry Christmas and my review wasn't put up again... boohoo oh well! -I Have an Alter Ego

Lucifel: Getting’ to ya soon, I promise. ^_^ Sakura: Merry Christmas! Kiba: When are we gonna get to Kryah’s thing? Kabuto: Why so impatient? Kiba: So I can take these bloody things off. –Tugs on antlersKabuto: At least you can still see clearly. –Rubs glasses again and poutsSakura: Well, we’re doing that right now! So you’re all in luck! And the big surprise is… Kryah got us all presents!!! Lucifel: I’m posting them one at a time…here goes. To cast: Three self-refilling buffets, that vary the meal they’re on. -Collective Gasp and the buffets appear on the back wallKiba: It’s so…beautiful… Sakura: I…I think I’m gonna cry. Jiraiya: Forget crying! Let’s eat!!

-and then the shinobi ran with eyes glistening and mouths dripping drool to the buffets and stuffed themselves until they were near to bursting. After this was done they were all so full of good food any ill-will towards each other was put aside and they all sat in a large group on the floor contentedlyKabuto: So, do we all get our own presents too? Sakura: -checks letter- oooh, yeah… To Itachi-sama: Many, many crates of Frappucino mix and thanks for warm reception of my previous gift. -Crates appear in a large pile in another cornerItachi: -twitch- Wheeeee!!! –goes and climbs to the top with his Frapuccino machine, where he gets comfortable, making his own little frappucino-crate fortressTo Haku-san: *blushes* I give you Bunna-chan, She’s a stuffed bunny I’ve had since I was six, I know you’ll take good care of her. *blushes again* Haku: Kya! So adorable! Zabuza: She gives you some old toy she probably used to chew on and acts like she’s being all generous? Haku: Oh stop. It’s so cute! Zabuza: -small smile that can’t be helped- you too… -kisses Haku’s foreheadSakura: -thinks- Oh, why oh why can’t I have something like that?! Lucifel: Because you’re not ridiculously cute!! To Gaara-san: His own Frappucino Machine and crates of frap mix. And my apologies for silly inquiries against his expressed wishes. Gaara: -wide eyes- … -runs over to machine and arranges the crates in a wall around him- I’m not coming out until these crates are empty! Kabuto: You’re gonna get sick of ‘em eventually kid…or want more food… Gaara: NEVER! Kabuto: -rolls eyes-

To Orochimaru-sama: Frankly, I have no idea what to get a SANNIN who rules they’re own VILLAGE so this is a blind guess in the dark but…I give you a complete set of yaoiversion Icha-Icha Paradise (they weren’t made by Jiraiya-sama). I had to pull a few strings to get them so I hope you like these. Orochimaru: Sweet! See, this girl understands how great I am. Ooh, yay, these should hold me off until the next album! Jiraiya: Who’s been defiling my wonderful stories?! Let me see those! –lungesOrochimaru: No! –hold them far away while holding Jiraiya back with the other handYou just want to read the sexy yaoi scenes by yourself! Jiraiya: I do not! Orochimaru: Then why do you want them? Jiraiya: I don’t! Orochimaru: Ok great! –goes and readsJiraiya: …..huh? To Jiraiya-sama: A life-time subscription to play-boy. DO NOT ASK HOW I CAME BY THIS. It is a horrifyingly embarrassing story involving my desperate escape from two drunk bunny girls, a threatened lawsuit for attempted rape, and lots of Therapy. And a duck. Kabuto: I really don’t care about the rest of the story…but I sure as fuck would like to know how that duck fits in. Jiraiya: …this is the best Christmas ever. Now I shall never have to look far for inspiration for my novel!! Sakura/Kurenai: eww. Jiraiya: -sits next to Orochimaru and starts leafing through the magazines, giggling (yes, giggling)To Zabuza-…san? A sword cleaning kit for those hard to remove blood stains. Zabuza: Sweet ass. And here I thought I wouldn’t get a good present. You never know when some random person will get you better than you think. Haku: Bunna-chan is a better present.

Zabuza: -raises eyebrows- yeah, whatever… To Kiba-san: Five, up-to-date albums of Akamaru in good health which automatically update themselves. Kiba: I was hoping for antler-remover, but this is great. –opens album-…-horrorShino: What? What is it? Kiba: They’re…tying bows on him… Shino: -gaspKiba: And the worst part is he’s…he’s… Shino: what? Is he hurt? Kiba: No…he’s…enjoying it. Kabuto: Ouch. Shino: Sorry Kiba… Kiba: It’s ok…I’m gonna go…mope…-goes to cornerTo Shino-san: the extended set of “The history of Kikai and other ninja-related insects of the (fire, tea, wave, lightning etc…it varies with the volume) Country” so you don’t get bored when Kiba’s checking up on Akamaru. Shino: -glances at where Kiba is watching as the albums update with more and more pictures of Akamaru prancing around with ribbons- yeah, I’ll be using these now… To Sakura-san: I’m sorry you can’t spend the holidays with your teammates or family but whenever I’m lonely I just bury myself in anime. So I’m giving you a plasma TV (you better share this or I’m taking it away and giving it to Itachi) and a box set of all 4 Inuyasha movies. Sakura: Wow, thank you! Inner Sakura: HELL YEAH!! THIS IS FREAKING AWESOME!! Kabuto: I like that you have to share and Itachi and Gaara get to be all selfish with their frappucino machines… Sakura: hey…yeah…that’s not fair!

Inner Sakura: YOU BASTARDS!!! Sakura: Well, then Gaara and Itachi aren’t allowed to watch it, is all. Ita/Gaa: -immediately run out with Frappucinos for SakuraSakura: Ok, you can watch. –starts setting it upInner Sakura: That’s right!! Who’s in charge now bitches!! To Kurenai-san: I’m sorry I haven’t really acknowledged you up until now, but to make up for it I give you Ouran host Club Anime (found on youtube) and manga, and 20 crates of milk and Belgium chocolate-I’m protective of sugar and chocolate in general so this is a big thing for me. Kurenai: gasp! –runs to cratesKabuto: Ne, Kurenai, you’re gonna share ri— Kurenai: -turns around with flaming glaring eyes- IT IS MY CHOCOLATE!!!! –hisssEveryone: O.o Kurenai: -blush- erm, uh, I mean….maybe? Jiraiya: I don’t know about you all, but I personally no longer need any chocolate. Everyone: -nod, nodTo Kabuto-san: A glasses cleaning kit (I’m near-sighted so I know how annoying smudgy glasses can be) and a hug. I know you’re probably feeling a little neglected, but I’m not trying to catch you on the rebound. Just trying to make you feel a little bit better. Kabuto: Oh…oh wow…I… Kurenai: Are you…crying? Kabuto: -turning away quickly- No! –mutters- it’s just…the first present I ever got is all… Orochimaru: Aww, Kabuto. –hugsKabuto: -sniff- Orochimaru-sama! –hugsJiraiya: Aww, hell…-hugs too-

Haku: yay! –hugs-and soon all of them were hugging in warm, fuzziness…except Gaara. But Itachi went over and dragged him into it after a minute and he was thrown right into the middle of it, then they all sat down (still hugging somehow) to watch lots of anime on the plasma screen TV. So I leave you all with this scene of fluffy delight Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a Good night. - (or morning…whatEVER)

Ask Sakura 10 Lucifel: Hello one and all. I have an IMPORTANT note: This was supposed to be my second-to last entry before caught up. It’s not. But that’s cool. I only ask that if you’re gonna go ahead and keep flooding in the questions (I’m not complaining, although it sounds like it. I LOVE that you’re all so nice and wonderful and so interested in my story you wanna review!!) Just to be patient and realize I am now consistently two pages behind. Any reviews that are not questions are more than welcome, and I’ll reply to those personally. Reviews with questions will go into the story whenever I get to them. Also, please try to heed my three questions per review limit, and try to not give me another review and set of questions until I’ve done your first, (unless you really need to comment on something that just happened) that will also help traffic flow. If there’s more than three I’ll randomly pick the ones I like best, thereby deleting ones I can’t make anything funny out of. I’m also gonna be ignoring questions (regardless of how many were asked) the get asked too much. (Like ‘why do like sasuke?’ srsly, It’s been asked like a dozen times now) And I reserve the right to break my own rules whenever I damn well feel like it. Ok, yuck, I was rambling. You don’t wanna hear me whine about the best thing ever (and you wonderful fans are the best thing that’s happened to me fanfiction wise) you wanna read more of my lovely, pervy story, ne?! On with the show!! -after many hours of TV our cast began dozing off. Now we open this edition on the serene scene of---Kiba: AAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! -Much angry grumbling as the rest wake up.Orochimaru: -rubbing his eyes- Kiba what th---NOOOOOOOO!!!! Jiraiya: -sitting up suddenly from where he had fallen asleep in Orochimaru’s lap- WHY IS THE FOOD GONE?! Sakura: -speaking in a sorrowful monotone as Lucifel dictates- Because, even though personal presents are allowed to be kept…the allowance of such a generous gift was for Christmas only. Jiraiya: -with a groggy sway- but why’s the food gone? Lucifel: Shameless pop culture reference! Hell yeah! Sakura: -sighKiba: but…but…whyyyy?! Shino: -pats Kiba’s shoulder-

Zabuza: Stop whining you bunch of pussies… Haku: -quietly- oh, I feel kind of hungry… Zabuza: -twitch- We better get that food back in TEN SECONDS or I start fucking KILLING shit!! Everyone: -shockKabuto: What I wouldn’t give to be able to control a man with a ing reference like that… Ita/Gaa/Kiba/Shin: -nod, nodZabuza: 10 CHaosBLossOM why do you like Sasuke anyway, he hates you? heh well also you should try to run away these people scare me(except Itachi, Kiba ,Kabuto, Orochimaru, and Haku oh yeah well Gaara too! Love ya all!

Sakura: I’ve answered this many times. I can’t help but love him. It’s just…a part of me. Zabuza: 9. Sakura: Don’t think I wouldn’t love to escape…if this room had a door or something I’d try, for sure. But jutsu obviously aren’t even working… Zabuza: 8. Kurenai: …wait…those guys don’t scare you? Zabuza: 7 Jiraiya: I’m thoroughly offended. The bug-kid I can understand but me? ME? Zabuza: 6 Kurenai: Speaking as a woman I actually understand where they’re coming from… Zabuza: 5 Jiraiya: Hey! What are you implying? Zabuza: 4

Kurenai: Not so much implying as ing many lewd comments, obscene reference and attempts at groping from last night. Zabuza: 3 Itachi: As much as I hate to interrupt, is anyone else worried about the fact that Zabuza is counting down? Zabuza: -draws sword- 2 Kabuto: The thought did cross my mind… Zabuza: 1. Itachi: Too late. Zabuza: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!! -Bzzt. We’re sorry, but there is a parental block on all material rated super super super super violent and up. You need to enter the four-digit number to access this sceneRandom kid sitting in his living room two inches from a TV screen: Aww, dammit. -This program has returned to a suitable rating.-The room is splattered thoroughly with red, and Zabuza now sits in a corner pantingItachi: well…that was…needlessly violent… Kabuto: And here the red lens had just been removed from my glasses. –Removes glasses and wipes them cleanOrochimaru: Good thing those ketchup-filled manikins kept popping up for him to slice. Jiraiya: ayup. Kiba: -licks ketchup off Shino’s cheek. - Yum. Itachi: So…how come Haku managed to stay perfectly clean? Sakura: because he’s Haku. Itachi: Weird how that actually explains a lot… Jiraiya: Hey, at least we have a food supply now. –Licks fingers-

Kurenai: gross. Jiraiya: We’ll see what your tune is when you get starving and I’ve already licked the ketchup off all the walls. Gaara: -running to frappucino-crate fort- All the ketchup on the crates is mine! Jiraiya: Yeah, yeah, I’ve got enough on my hands to last me a good hour… Kurenai: -wrinkles nose in disgustmy question is Sakura how does it fell to be stuck in an enclosed room with that pedophile Orochimaru. -Saskuretsu

Sakura: -looks over her shoulder at OrochimaruOrochimaru: -flicks tongue at herSakura: -shivers- it feels like sitting in a tub of ice cubes so long I’ll never get hot for anyone again. Jiraiya: -claps hands- OH DAMN! Orochimaru, need come ice for that burn?! Orochimaru: …ouch. Didn’t know she had it in her. Hey Sakura! I feel so sorry for you, stuck in there with Oro-teme. Honestly, did you not know Sasuke's gay? GOD, He's fucked Oro-teme, he's fucked Itachi, hell, you gotta be BLIND to not see he's gay! (No offense to you, of course.) Anyway, Question time! 1: If you HAD to marry someone, NOT Sasuke, Lee or Kabuto, who would you marry? 2: Would you please kill Oro-teme for me? Thankz. 3: LET INNER SAKURA OUT!! SHE TOTALLY KICKS ASS!! 4: What elemnt is your chakra? Naruto's is wind, Sasuke's is fire, Kakashi's is lightning, what's yours?? Oh, do you know there are a lot of fics out there that pair you with Kakashi? Just to let you know. Don't worry, I'm SO against that pairing. (KAKASHI IS MINE! -Kakashi: ...Help me...-) Gaara: There is someone out there who loves you. My best friend is OBSSESSED with you. She hates Yashamaru for telling you that no-one loves you. She also wanted me to give you this extra-large Frappucino. -givesOro-teme: I really hate you for being a paedophile. Really, Really, REALLY hate you for it. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone, but you just take the cake! And stop being so suggestive. Itachi: Hey, you know how you killed all your clan and stuff? Do you know someone called Obito? He was before your time, but he's an Uchiha and I'm just wondering what relation to you he is. Thank you. BTW, you're WAY cooler than Sasuke. Raikiri-no-Jutsu P.S: Sakura, Naruto likes you. Really likes you. Pay a bit more attention to him

Sakura: -sigh- yeah…I’m starting to get freezer burn.

Jiraiya: -laughing- Zing! And another!! Orochimaru: -shock- you little bitch… Sakura: -reads the rest of the letter- ugh! No! I can it maybe Orochimaru forced him or something, but Sasuke has nothing to do with something that perverted!! Inner Sakura: so back off with your little incest fetish you creep!! Itachi: -chucklesKabuto: Somehow you’re not as offended by this as I would imagine. Itachi: Oh? Huh…strange… Kabuto: -goes pale- because I mean…that never…you two never… Itachi: huh what? Oh, oh yeah. Never. Gross. –Suppresses laughterKabuto: -backs away slowlyOrochimaru: and what’s this Oro-‘teme’ crap? You should be on your knees calling me ‘sama’ through your mouth full of my--Kurenai: -slaps duct tape over Orochimaru’s mouth- that’s quite enough out of you. Sakura: Oh eww! I would never marry Kabuto! And…honestly I can’t think of anyone else I could possibly marry. If I HAD to…um, I guess Naruto. Since I know him best and he does care about me Kabuto: Yeah, that’s right. Go ahead and add the kyuubi-kid to your little harem of men whose hearts you’re just gonna fuck with. I bet Lee would like the company. Sakura: my GOD what is your problem?! These are if I HAD to questions! Kabuto: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Sakura: ugh, you drive me freaking crazy! Kabuto: -smirk- yeah, I know I do. Sakura: -blush- you know that’s not what I meant!! Kabuto: Sure, sure. Whatever…

Sakura: -seething- and yes, I wish I could kill Orochimaru too. Believe me if I get the chance I’ll— Kabuto: Let’s not mope over the impossible dear. Sakura: Don’t you fucking call me ‘dear’ Kabuto: Yes, princess. Sakura: -glares…and as she does so a fire builds up in here eyes, and its as if, for a moment, within her Kabuto can see a horrible, angry, raging force which, if he were to prod it’s release would destroy him and most of the room the were currently standing inLucifel: That suffice the ‘let inner sakura out’ thing? Kabuto: -shudders and sits politely beside Orochimaru, who is trying to remove the wellattached duct tape without ripping his mouth offSakura: My element…hmm. I’m not sure exactly how it works, but whichever element is connected to healing would probably be it. Earth maybe… Jiraiya: flower power, eh? Sakura: -turns evil eye on himJiraiya: Ehehe. Never mind… Sakura: ugh! What’s this about me and Kakashi? I mean, he’s kind of like a father-figure I guess…maybe an older brother seeing as he’s so perverted…anyway the point is I’d never, EVER get together with him! Itachi: So you don’t think he’s sexy? Sakura: I never said that. Itachi: Ohhohoho. I see. Sakura: I mean…I…I…just stop it!! Itachi: Yes, yes of course –snickerGaara: That Frappucino just saved your friend from the list. I don’t do stalkers. Kiba: But you have a frappucino MACHINE. Gaara:…-blinks-…what did you say your friend’s name was again?

Orochimaru: -says something through the duct tapeItachi: You know we totally can’t make out a damn thing you’re saying right. Orochimaru: -tries againItachi: Ah nope. Try simplifying it maybe? Orochimaru: -rolls eyes and gives the fingerJiraiya: Now why didn’t you just say that to begin with? Orochimaru: -rolls eyes againItachi: I think I know the name of Obito. My connection to him? I probably killed him. Orochimaru: -snickerSakura: Yeah…I know about Naruto… Kabuto: And abuses it to her advantage! Trust me, she knows how to handle the kid. Sakura: Oh my fucking GOD!! Would you shut up?! Kabuto: would you stop being such a bitch? Sakura: Do you wanna get your glasses smashed into your FACE?! Kurenai: -stepping between them- knock it off you two. Kabuto, you should be more mature than that. Sakura…I know being stuck in here is getting to you but just take it easy. Sakura: Yes sensei. Kabuto: -mumbles unhappily but leans backLucifel: YAY! Yorick! Hi again, Lucifel! OMG, Zabuza and Haku! -glomps- Just to let you know The white past, The secret feelings was my second favorite Naruto episode next to Valley of the End. You're so cute together! Okay, enough of that! here's my questions: Sakura: Did you know Chouji's got the hots for you?uh-huh, he told me!(Chouji: I did n- Yorick:-mufflesDID!) Orochimaru: Are you a transvestite? because when you tore your face off you became a woman. o.O And you were training Anko to take her body before...so you were going to become a woman?

Itachi: Could we at least be friends? please? I'm strong...enough! -Yorick!

Zabu/Haku: -suddenly get thrown down by glomping force- gack! Zabuza: -sitting up and shaking his head- what the fuck was that? Haku: As much pain as my neck is in I feel vaguely…hugged? Zabuza: -shudders- ugh, hugs. Haku: I like hugs. –puppy eyes at ZabuzaZabuza: -sigh and smile-…-pulls Haku into his lap so they can cuddleLucifel: Yes, Yorick, yes they are…KYAA! Sakura: Ch-chouji? Kabuto: What? No fat kids allowed in the harem of Sakura heart breaks? Sakura: -glares- Um, well I’m…flattered? But Chouji’s not really my type… Orochimaru: -starts trying to talk through tape againItachi: -sigh- … -rips off tapeOrochimaru: WAAAAAUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!!?! DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH THAT HURT?!!!?!?!?! Itachi: What’s the big deal? You don’t even have facial hair. Orochimaru: -moping- it still hurt. And, at any rate, I just go for the strongest bodies, I don’t care what gender they are. –smileJiraiya: -imagines Orochimaru with boobs- …OH MY GOD!!! Orochimaru: what? Jiraiya: -holding his bleeding nose shut- N-nothing…nothing… Itachi: What is wrong with you people?! I killed my entire clan and you keep asking to be my freaking FRIEND. You all must be more screwed up than I am! Hello Sakura-san, Gaa-kun! Have this frappicino as a token of my legency my dear Kazekage!! Ask me to do anything and I will!! I am your humble servant! Did you know that Gaara-san was voted the hottest guy in Naruto at the age of 14 after the time skip!! Isn't that just freaking awesome!

Sakura: How come you like Kabuto? Itachi-kun is so much hotter!! Another thing Why would you still love someone who basically mentally destroyed your world? Why? Does not the pain surge to an inexplicable point?! Orochimaru: Baka!! Baka!! Baka!! Anata!! GAH! Why won't you just die.. and by the way how do you change the appearance of the body you put yourself into? I mean the last guy was blonde and had these really awesome eyes. and now he has your ugly appearance. It isn't genjutsu is it? Itachi: Could you possibly tell Sasori-sama I am stalking him? P.S. Gaara I have been forming a huge army of fangirls who intend to break you out as soon as I can find the keys to my car!! The rest of you... I don't care so much about...

Gaara: -holds up frapucino- this goes to the first guy who will give me a blow job. Everyone: -shockGaara:-rolls eyes and hands the frap to Kabuto- It was a joke. Everyone: -more shockJiraiya: Gaara made a joke? Orochimaru: -gasp- I better call home and make sure the temperature hasn’t suddenly dropped. Kurenai: I better make sure to drop by Shizune’s place after this and make sure Tonton hasn’t sprouted wings. Gaara: Yeah, whatever…-sulks in his fortressItachi: Aww, Gaara, if it makes you feel better I’ll give you a blow job. Gaara: -blush- W-what? Itachi: -snickers and walks offOrochimaru: Hey! How come Gaara was the sexiest man? Shino: -thinks- because he is. Kabuto: Well, you do have more enemies than Gaara so— Orochimaru: -gasp- You’re right! They rigged the poll!!! Kabuto: That’s not what I— Orochimaru: Fraud!! FRAUD!! I demand a recount! An impeachment! I demand to have the crown back on the proper head!! Jiraiya: There is no crown.

Orochimaru: It’s a figure of speech…a figure of speech that is rightfully mine!!! Jiraiya: -sighOrochimaru: -rantsSakura: hey! I don’t like Kabuto! He’s a pain in the ass! I keep telling you people Sasuke is the only one for me. I can’t explain why, even I sometimes think I really would be better without him, I doubt the realistic points of it, but— Kabuto: Damn! You heard it here! Sakura shows doubt over her one true love! She even screws with the kid who doesn’t like her! Sakura: What is your problem?! Kabuto: My problem?! Do you know how many guys’ heads you must be fucking with? “Yeah, sure Lee, I’ll marry you…only NOT”, I mean, wtf? Sakura: I never say things like that! I can worry and still love a guy! Kabuto: But you said you doubted. Sakura: What’s the difference? Kabuto: tsk, tsk, I suppose your immature mind just could never comprehend. Sakura: -kicks his head!!- … -and I’m NOT talking about the one on his neckKabuto: -screams in pain, falls to the floor- AAAAAUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH!!! Sakura: -claps hands clean nonchalantlyItachi: Wow, that’s really good aim. Hitting such a small target like that. Kabuto: -weakly give Itachi the finger while he writhes on the groundItachi: I don’t think you want to do that right now. It’d hurt a lot… Kabuto: -glaresOrochimaru: maybe I don’t want to answer you. Maybe I’m too much of a baka to answer. –PoutsJiraiya: Come on, Oro, be a good sport.

Orochimaru: Whatever. I know, like, a billion different jutsu, no duh I know one to change my appearance. I like this face. Itachi: Umm…I could but…he might kill you. Still want me to? Orochimaru: Do it. I’d love to kill her myself but…you know. The sooner the better. Itachi: I can’t tell him until we’re out anyway. Orochimaru: Oh. Leave it to me then. Itachi: -rolls eyesGaara: -imagines riding in car full of fangirls- urk…um…no thanks. –Sweat dropJiraiya: -imagines riding in car full of fangirls- gah! –NOSEBLEEDKurenai: -muttering- ugh, I am getting hungry again. Jiraiya: Too bad! The ketchup is mine! Kurenai: -rolls eyesJiraiya: And fangirls! I’m here for the saving!! Come take me now!! Kure/Oro/Saku: -face-palm-

Ask Sakura 11 Itachi: -waking up slowly- oh damn, whatta night. Kiba: -muttering and still half-asleep- best New Year’s Eve party ever. Shino: -snuggles closer to Kiba under a blanket.Lucifel: Yeah, sorry, you guys missed it. Muwahahahah. Basically, everyone got trashed. Shino and Kiba slept together –cough- and Gaara and Itachi drank so many frappucinos they reached the brink of explosion and ed out. Kurenai tried to keep everyone under control but ended up getting drunk too and beating up Jiraiya when he accidentally splashed a martini all over her. Those are the big highlights. Kabuto and Jiraiya woke up and couldn’t anything, but Sakura won’t talk to Kabuto but keeps glaring at him, and Orochimaru keeps smiling wryly at Jiraiya. So, we now continue the story: NO I WILL NOT GIVE BACK SASUKE. i asked GAARA if he would kill kankuro, not you. but now kankuro is here with me, drinking tea, and he took a nap earlier with a barbie doll. dont ask me why! gaara, your brother is, um, wierd. he scares me...(sasuke: holy! he's making out with ken!! HELP ME!ITACHI, OROCHIMARU, SAKURA, ANYBODY!-whimpers-!they're both scary!!)SHUT UP SASUKE!-slaps him- damn he's hot when he's freaked. umm...anyway uh, itachi, i have some lemonade for you if you want some. its cold :). than, can you die so sasuke will shut up about avenging his clan so i CAN GET SOME SLEEP! I get REALY crazy when i'm tired! oh, and sakura, can we PLEASE be friends? -Hilarious Tragedy-

Gaara: Oh god, Kankuro…-covers faceSakura: oh my god…Sasuke! Orochimaru: calm down. He’ll be ok…he wouldn’t be my favorite little boy otherwise. – smirkItachi: He damn well better be able to get himself out of there. Orochimaru: And I totally agree with the “hot when freaked out thing” mrow. Itachi: Heh, yeah… Orochimaru: Umm, you agree? Itachi: Of course! Why do you think I didn’t kill him that night? Orochimaru: -jaw drops- I thought it was something about having him come back to kill you? Itachi: Where would you get an idea like that?!

Orochimaru: I have no idea… Sakura: -covers ears and shakes head- I don’t wanna hear it! I don’t wanna hear it!! Itachi: Oooh, lemonade. I could use a break from the frappucinos…speaking of which, how did we manage to drink half of our total supply of frappucino mix? Gaara: I don’t know but I seem to recall being really hyper last night… Sakura: -moaning- ohhhh, Sasuke-kun!! Kabuto: I think it’s safe to say you two won’t be friends anytime soon. Sakura: Shut up you! Kabuto: What did I do? Sakura: -glaresKabuto: whatever…girls, geez... Dear Sakura (and Co.), Orochimaru, why are you so obsessed with learning a bunch of jutsu and being immortal? Haven't you ever seen Highlander? They're all immortal and strong, and miserable! Here's a copy (hands over Highlander). Gaara, Itachi, and Shino, why do you all try to act so cool? Everyone knows you're trying to cover up your own insecurities with a facade of badassness. What do you guys want to eat? I'll drop it off next chapter. WHY IS EVERYONE SO FSUCKING GAY?!!? My Best, Khellan Rafe

Orochimaru: Yeah, but he used being immortal for being good and crap right? It’s a lot more fun if you’re selfish about it. Lucifel: -disclaimer- never seen the movie, me and Oro are both making assumptions. Orochimaru: But hey! Thanks for the movie! Who wants another movie night? Everyone: YAY!! -A couple hours laterOrochimaru: Well that wasn’t half bad.

Jiraiya: So did you learn anything? Orochimaru: Was I supposed to? Jiraiya: -sigh- never mind. Sakura: Oh crap, we just watched a whole movie without answering the rest of her questions! Shino: That’s ok; we had a time-skip. Sakura: Hwa? Shino: -silenceSakura: Ooook, then. Well, guys, what’re your excuses? Ita/Gaa: But I am cool and badass. Shino: I don’t try to be anything. I just have bugs living in me. Kiba: It’s sexy. Orochimaru: -gagKurenai: I want more chocolate. Jiraiya: Did you already eat all your other stuff? Kurenai: yep. Jiraiya: Jesus Christ woman… Kiba: He was? Jiraiya: was what? Kiba: A woman. Jiraiya: -unbelieving stare- I’m not even going to say anything… Kiba: -confused head-tiltShino: -pats Kiba’s head-

Kabuto: At any rate, just bring some more good food. If we keep eating this junk food we’ll all get fatter than Choji… Orochimaru: If that happens I’ll just go into a skinny body. Itachi: But then all the people you think are hot will be fat. Orochimaru: -gasp- NOOOOO!!!! Kabuto: -rolling eyes- Just bring healthy food. Itachi: What’s this kid’s problem? Is he a homophobe or something? Jiraiya: Well, it is kind of creepy having you all so…you… Itachi: Are you a homophobe, Jiraiya? Jiraiya: No, but I am an incest-phobe. Itachi: -smirks and goes to drink his lemonadeJira/Saku/Kurenai: -shudderKabuto -- accept the fact that many men and women would love to see you naked. get over it. not only do you kick ass but you can heal people which is much harder. Sakura -- what types of training do you do with Tsunade? So, you would rather be paired with Ino then Oro? I am handing you a twelve pack of tacos 'cause I want to see more questions befor you go all ca-- er anyway. Don't kill each other yet! Kazster

Kabuto: Oh, I know people want to see me naked. Sakura: -scoffKabuto: It was knowing that a little annoying pink-haired kid thought about that…shudders- it’s almost violating. Sakura: -rolls eyes- Whatever. –PoutsKurenai: Sakura-chan….are you all right? Gaara: She’s just pissed off ‘cause Kabuto kissed her last night. Kabuto: -horror-

Orochimaru: -uncontrollable laughterSakura: -bluuushKabuto: W-what? Gaara: Yeah, at midnight last night. You pulled her into your lap and kissed her. You didn’t drink that much and you don’t ? Kabuto: N-no… Gaara: pssh, lightweight. Kabuto: -tentatively looks at SakuraSakura: -is sitting in a corner, sulkingKabuto: -goes and sits in a different corner rubbing his forehead and moaningSakura: -is too busy moping to answer questionsItachi: -rolls eyes- to answer for the moping princess and her usual substitute, her “training” is probably something along the lines of how to enhance breast growth – snicker- and I bet she would rather go with Ino. She’s a dyke. Sakura: IT IS NOT AND I AM NOT!!! –Goes back to sulkingJiraiya: -snicker- training for breast enhancement…-snickerKiba: TACOS!!!!!! –Tackles taco box and starts devouring it…box and allSakura who would you go on a date with; Orochimaru or itachi? From, gaara and itachi's dark angel

Kurenai: Sakura, you might want to answer your own questions before Itachi mangles your reputation anymore than he already has. Sakura: Fine. Neither. Ever. Jiraiya: But if you had to. Kurenai: Why are you pestering her now? Jiraiya: Because it’s funny! Kurenai: You’re horrible.

Sakura: God, if I had to I would go with Itachi because he’s slightly more gentlemanly. Now leave me alone! Itachi: Ah, channeling her loved one’s emo-ness…very nice. Sakura: I hate you. Itachi: But you’d date me? Sakura: -poisonous glareItachi: -thinks- I hate mad women… Gaara: My dark…angel? The fuck? Itachi: I think it’s kind of cute. Gaara: -makes another frappucino- This place is getting to your head. Itachi: -sigh- yeah… More questions 1. Gaara what are you gonna do chase me across the continent and then attack with sand I'd simply use water to wet it down then what are you gonna put me in a sand castle real effective there pal. 2. Itachi in most why would you be the one to go after Naruto hmm... I'm gonna dignify you like him and would like to fuck his ass. P.S.: Jiraiya I hate you with ion as well but don't ire you're work fucker. HAHAHAHAHAHA

-direct quote from Kohaku Kawa: What? This question (question 2)…..does he speak English?Gaara: one; I said I will kill you and you will die. By sand, or Kunai, or fist…but you will die. Second; I can control wet sand just as well as dry sand and it’d just be heavier so it would crush you worse. Third; only a water jutsu could summon enough water to wet down all my sand and I severely doubt you can use jutsu. Itachi: And fourth, he’s not answering stupid questions. Gaara: Exactly. Itachi: But you just did. Gaara: -twitchItachi: Now whose head is this place getting to?

Gaara: Shove off. Itachi: You British now? Gaara: Answer your damn question. Itachi: -looks at question- no. –Glares- I’m starting my own list… Jiraiya: me too…no one appreciates how much work I put into those damn books….grumble, mumble, grrrrrdis is so funny o yea i gots a question for Sakura Why is every1 finking about u and lee? btu dya like him? -Dolly2000-

Jiraiya: I’m just curious…can anyone even READ that? Shino: What’s a fink? Orochimaru: What’s dya supposed to mean? Kiba: Ah, stop making fun of the l33t sp34k3r. Shino: If you ever say something like that again I’ dumping you. Kiba: sry. Shino: Kibaaaa. Kiba: Yes, boss. –licks cheekSakura: No. I don’t. And I am very clear about that to him. –glares at KabutoKabuto: -slumps down into deeper shameHello, Sakura. Here are my questions: 1. When you first went into Orochimaru's temple with Naruto and Jiriaya, when Kabuto threw the kunai at you- Why the hell did you just stand there? I mean, I know that you were scared out of your mind, but you're SUPPOSED to be a kunoichi! Please kick butt next time instead of looking like you're about to puke over yourself. 2. This question is for Shizune- What do you do when you're not telling Tsunade-sama to do more paperwork? ps: Gaara, you are so goddamned sexy! But lose the sleeves, okay? -Unlucky Amulet-

Sakura: yeah, I was really terrified. But I’ll do better next time…especially against Kabuto. Now that I know that he’s only a shallow, idiotic, sarcastic bastard.

Kabuto: Give me a break, little bitch… Sakura: -sulkKabuto: -sulkEveryone else: -rolls eyes and shakes headKurenai: Shizune’s not even here! Everyone: -anticipatesKurenai: What are you all doing? Kiba: Anticipating. Kurenai: Glad you’ve improved your vocabulary but…anticipating what? Jiraiya: That’s weird. She’s not here. Kurenai: -rolls eyes- you expected her to be? Kiba: Well…yeah…where is she? MEANWHILE!! Shizune: Tsunade sama!! You don’t have time to plot revenge against Jiraiya! You have paperwork to do!! Gaaah!! Please take this job seriously! Tsunade: no, no…I have to get this perfect… Shizune: Tsunade-samaaaa… Lucifel: So basically…nothing. We now return to the regularly schedule program: Kurenai: At any rate I almost wish Shizune was here so I could have some sane, female, not-a-brooding-teenager company. Kiba: KURENAI HAS THE HOTS FOR SHIZUNE!!! Kurenai: the hell? Kiba: -snickerJiraiya: -imagines Kurenai and Shizune making out- JESUS!!! –nose-geyser-of-blood-

Kurenai: Ewww…and here the ketchup had just gone away. Zabuza: -smilesKiba: -to Haku- Why is he smiling? Haku: Because there’s blood all over the place. Kiba: -scoots away slowlyGaara: hmmm…m’kay. –rips off sleevesOro/Kiba/Shin/Ita/Saku: -DROOLOrochimaru: -ahem- Gaara…you are so goddamned sexy! But loose the pants ok? Gaara: -raises nonexistent eyebrow- nice try. No way in hell. Orochimaru: eh, it was worth a shot. Kiba: damn right it was. I don’t suppose you take the suggestion from someone else? Gaara: No. Kiba: damn. Sakura: -sulksKabuto: Would you stop sulking already?! Sakura: What do you want me to do? Kabuto: Be annoying in the usual way maybe?! Sakura: no! Leave me alone! –goes into closet and slams doorKiba: when did we get a closet? Shino: We didn’t…that’s a swimming pool. Everyone else: The fuck?! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

Ask Sakura 12 Itachi: there’s really a swimming pool back there? Sakura: -muffled behind a door- AIIIEEEEEE!!! –Loud splashKiba: I guess there is. Shino: When’d that get there? Kiba: You’re the one who knew it was there!! Shino: -raises eyebrow- what are you talking about? Kiba: -rubs head in confusion and sits downOrochimaru: We should all go swimming later…Oooh!! We could have a pool orgy just like Rocky Horror Picture Show!! Jiraiya: Rocky…Horror…hwa? Orochimaru: -too busy imagining swimming pool orgies to say anymoreomg sakura why don’t u like Itachi he's just as hot as Sasuke ever hotter...Kabuto will u leave sound to come to me i love u! more than Orochimaru ever can*sticks tongue out*

Itachi: Ah yes, the profound question of “why the fuck would anyone like my little brother over me” and it still has yet to have a good answer. Orochimaru: Well, he does have the ‘cute’ factor more than you. –puts Sasuke into fantasy orgyItachi: Well…that’s true. –secret smileKure/Jira: -gagKabuto: What the hell? I’d never leave Orochimaru-sama! Itachi:-muttering behind a fist- plot behind his back with a strawberry-blonde however… Orochimaru: What? Who’s Kabuto having sex with behind my back?

Itachi: Sakura. Kabuto: no! no! no!! I am not! I’m totally loyal to Orochimaru-sama! Orochimaru: -walks over and snuggles Kabuto- I know. Kabuto: -blushOrochimaru: -sticks tongue out back. And touches the floor with itJiraiya: eww Orochimaru: Yeah, but imagine how I am at…certain specific skills. Kurenai: -presses legs together tightlyKurenai is your eyes naturally red or is it like a technique... Kabuto where did you get ur glasses from (looks like from harry potter) Sakura, if sasuke dumped u would u go lez... Jiraiya do u have the hots for tsunade !! well enough for me :D Vivian

Kurenai: It’s natural. Jiraiya: What? No way! –leans in to look at eyesKurenai: -leans away uncomfortablyJiraiya: weiiiiird. Kurenai: -kicks him awayOrochimaru: -snicker- your glasses look like Harry Potter’s… Kabuto: Ugh, eww. I just got them from the one place in all of Konoha that makes glasses. Most ninja have good eyesight. Kiba: So you suck as a ninja? Kabuto: No. I could kick your ass in a second. Zabuza: So…you suck as a ninja? Kiba/Kabu: Hey!! Itachi: Hehe, Kabuto is Harry Potter and Orochimaru is Voldemort, teehee.

Kabu/Oro: shut up!! Itachi: -snicker- and anyway, Sakura is Lesbian so there’s no point in— Sakura: -from behind the door sounding very upset and wet- I AM NOT!!! Itachi: -rolls eyes- denial. Jiraiya: Tsunade…eh, I like her boobs. –goofy smile- No seriously, she’s a good friend, but as far as that way I don’t think I could ever handle her. Heh. Orochimaru: but then how will you handle me? Jiraiya: what? I don’t’ even want to… Orochimaru: -unwinds himself from around Kabuto and slinks over to Jiraiya’s lapDon’t be silly, Jiraiya. I know you want me. Jiraiya: -trying not to nosebleed all over the place again- N-no…I don’t… Orochimaru: -licks his cheekJiraiya: -faintsOrochimaru: -slips off his lap snickering happily with himselfyo everyone i can end this fight over whos the best ninja it has to be Jiraiya for the time being simply put oro even though u never fought him u said u cant win but Itachi sucks anyway... just 2 questions 1 Jiraiya if u could have one other women in there who would u pick 2 sakura if u could have any 5 people stuck in there with yo other than Sasuke cuz thats too clear who would they be u know answering questions? later Vinson

Jiraiya: hmmm, I’d have to say Anko. She’s got a great rack and is way looser than this one –gestures Kurenai-. Kurenai: -smashes Jiraiya’s head with a skilletKiba: Where’d you get a skillet? Kurenai: A woman always has her resources. –puts skillet awayMen: -shock and horrorItachi: -knocks on the door to the swimming pool- Come on Sakura! Answer the question!

Sakura: I don’t wanna! Go away! –sniffleItachi: -sigh- Kabuto, go talk to her. Kabuto: What? Why me? Why not Kurenai? Itachi: You’re the one who started this. Go get her ass back out here. Kabuto: Why do we even care? Shino: Because this story doesn’t go anywhere without her. Itachi: What he said. –thinks- what the fuck did he just say? Kabuto: Ugh, whatever, fine. -goes into swimming pool roomWhen Kabuto entered the room he was first shocked by how big it was. A square, twentyfive meter swimming pool filled most of the room, with a three-foot ledge around it with a few benches at the far wall. The walls were colored a peach color and a soft gold light lit the place warmly. The pool was crystal-like and caught some unseen light-force and reflected it beautifully. Then he noticed Sakura. She was sitting with her back to him on the second step of a staircase leading into the pool. Soaking wet and shivering, looking pitiful. Kabuto watched her for a bit, not really sure what the hell everyone expected him to do. As he watched Sakura sniffled a couple times and raise her hand as if wiping away tears, Kabuto felt something strange stirring in his stomach. Every time Sakura’s shoulders shook with another sob, his throat went dry, every time she hugged herself sadly his gut clenched uncomfortably. Kabuto felt…guilty. Kabuto: -thinks- what the fuck? I have nothing to feel bad…about…-shifts uncomfortablySakura: -hearing the noise she spins around- who’s there? –sees Kabuto- Oh…it’s you… go away. –turns away againKabuto: -taking a couple steps forward- Eh…erm…the others want you to come back and answer the questions… Sakura: I don’t know who I want with me, but I know pretty damn well who I’d like to leave. Kabuto: -scowl- Sakura, come on. What the hell is your problem? Sakura: -scoffs and shakes her head- Nothing. –sniffleKabuto: -shifts again- Well if your not coming out I guess I’ll leave…

Sakura: -just before Kabuto opens the door back into the bad room- Why are you such a dick? Kabuto: -walking back over- What do you mean? It’s kind of my job to… Sakura: Was it your job to fucking kiss me? Kabuto: I was drunk! Trust me I wouldn’t have kissed you otherwise. Sakura: God, you’re such a jackass. Why did it have to be you…? Kabuto: Why did what have to be—Sakura…was that your first kiss? Sakura: -nodsKabuto: Oh, gross. I feel like I robbed the fucking cradle… Sakura: I bet I feel worse. Kabuto: -scowl- Well…whatever. –sits on the ledge next to Sakura- Why are you sitting in the pool? Sakura: I fell in… Kabuto: oh yeah… -awkward silenceSakura: Do you want anything else? Kabuto: Not really… Sakura: Then go away. Kabuto: -sighs and start taking off his shirtSakura: Whoa! Whoa! WHOA! When I said I wanted to see you naked I didn’t mean— Kabuto: -drops shirt on the ledge- calm down, kid, I just wanted to go for a swim. –dives in…which is very dangerous and you should never do in a shallow water!! Kabuto could have a fucking spinal injury right now!!!!!! As a lifeguard I should not be writing this scene…Sakura: -watches Kabuto swim…watches intently-

Kabuto: -swimming back over to her- Why don’t you swim? Sakura: I’m almost dry…mostly… Kabuto: -rolls eyes and pulls her inSakura: Aiiie!! My hair was still dry! Kabuto: Hehe, got you wet. Sakura: -bluuush- I’m leaving…-tries to swim awayKabuto: -grabbing her arm- not until you get over being so annoyingly depressed, you’re not. Sakura: -turns back around as Kabuto tries to make her turn around and the resulting force sends her crashing into his chest…they fall back into the pool. YAYSakura: -sitting up- Sorry… Kabuto: -giggling…what?- It’s fine. You’re light anyway. -Kabuto sits up too, but realizes Sakura is still in his lap, and their faces are about…oh, two inches away from each otherKabuto: -pushing some wet hair out of her face- Hey, Sakura? Sakura: Y-yeah? Kabuto: I’m sorry. Sakura: -blush- I-it’s ok. -insert your basic, “ooooh, we’re so close we could almost…” moment and thenBANG!! –the sound of a door swinging open to show Itachi and the others in the doorwayItachi: What is taking you two so fucking long? Orochimaru: GAAAA!! You’re having sex in the pool without me!!!!! Kabu/Saku: -again, your classic, “oh damn what were we doing?!” moment, and then they break apart- NO! No we weren’t doing anything!!! Orochimaru: Well, hell, I’m getting in too!! –jumps in the pool-

Everyone jumps in the pool!!! (except Gaara, Kurenai and Zabuza) Kiba: Gaara, why won’t you come in? Gaara: I don’t like water. Kiba: What are you a cat? Gaara: No. Kiba: then get in the damn pool!! Gaara: no. Zabuza: -pushes Gaara inGaara: -resurfacing and sulking in the shallow water- I hate all of you. Orochimaru: -ruffling his hair- Aww, we love you too cutie. Gaara: -swims away to Kiba and Shino in the deep endItachi: Zabuza! You’re a water ninja! You should love swimming! Zabuza: -flips the fingerHaku: Zabuza-san! Come swim with me! Zabuza: -jumps into the poolJiraiya: Ne, Kurenai, if you’re not getting in because of your clothes I have a white t-shirt you can borrow! Kurenai: -throws skillet at Jiraiya’s headJiraiya: -dodges underwater…the skillet hits Kabuto’s head as he starts to get out of the pool…again, the other oneKabuto: -moans- why meee…-falls back into the poolOrochimaru: Yeowch, that’d hurt. Jiraiya: -resurfacing near Orochimaru- Aren’t you gonna help him? Orochimaru: Nope.

Sakura: -helps Kabuto into shallow water- You ok? Kabuto: -in high-pitched voice- No… Sakura: -snickerLucifel: Ok, I’m done letting them all have happy-joy-lalala play-time. –the pool suddenly drains, and all the people swimming in the deep end suddenly fall painfully to the bottom of the poolGaara: See? SEE?! This is why I didn’t want to swim! Kiba: ouch… Haku: Huh, I feel fine. –Is happily in Zabuza’s arms since the jounin caught himOrochimaru: OH NO!! With the water gone I can’t ever have my pool orgy!! –Sits weepilyKabuto: -pouncing on Orochimaru- That’s alright, Orochimaru-sama, we’ll just have to make due without the water. Orochimaru: -smiling- Kabuto, when did you get so forward? Kabuto: What can I say? Seeing you all wet turned me on… But sadly, amazing, wonderful, ionate sex didn’t happen, because poor Kabuto’s private parts were too severely bruised to do any immediate action. Lucifel: One last note. I will not be answering any more question/reviews asking “you should accept Sasuke’s gay” or in the same vein “why do you like Sasuke?” unless you word it originally and in a way with which I can do something. Srsly ppl… Shino: DIE!!! Lucifel: I’ve gotten those two questions like, a billion, zillion times. (Exaggerating? I think not) oh, and also “go out with Lee!!” will no longer be addressed. But keep the questions coming! Also, also, I’m sorry this entry took a serious note for a bit there, but I thought adding a bit of story flavor might be fun. I hope there was still enough humor for you all. Much luv, cya! Lucifel Shino: AAARRRGGGG!!! –Pounces on me with KunaiLucifel: AAAAARRRRGGGGG!!!!!

-blood spurtAsk Sakura 13 Lucifel: HEY! I’M BACK!! I hope you all missed me, and I promise to give Ask Sakura and all of you my extreme love and attention from now on (maybe a couple vacations… never this long again …I hope). I’m posting three HUGE updates to catch up and then I’m making an official schedule. Bear with me, these are massive. I’ve just a few notes: I’ve gotten several “I don’t like yaoi” comments and even one person said he was disgusted by “turning straight characters gay”. My take on it is that making, say, Naruto and Sasuke get together is even more likely than a combo like Gaara and Hinata. It’s just another form of crack coupling. Ok, I didn’t need a rant just to say that, and since I didn’t make an immediate warning about being yaoi-fangirl I have no reason to be offended, but try to just realize I’m doing this whole thing as a humor piece and I loooove my yaoi, k? Just take it with a laugh and be happy I even PUT a hetero couple in here (which actually happened by accident- Dammit, Lucifel, if you keep ranting like this you’re gonna loose fans…I’m stopping.) Now, ehehehe, let’s begin with our lucky thirteenth installment shall we? So, after everyone got out of the pool they realize how very stupid it was to go swimming without extra clothing to change into afterwards. Kabuto got guilted into giving Sakura his dry shirt to wear so Sakura’s pretty much the only one even a little bit warm as they get resituated in the room of TERROR –ahem- I mean that room where they answer questions…so yeah. Kiba and Shino snuggle to try and keep warm and Kabuto is in Orochimaru’s lap as the scene opens. Sakura: Hello one and all! Now that we’re out of the pool and dressed in dry clothing— Everyone else: -shivering- SHUT UP!!! Sakura: teehee, anyway, lets get on with the question so we can try to catch up, ne? Jiraiya: Hey, Kurenai, those other kids have the right idea. Why not come and share body heat? Kurenai: -holds up skillet- what did you say? Jiraiya: -trying to cover all sensitive targets at once- N-nothing…nothing at all…-huddles with selfHiya! Waves to everybody! My baka little brother has some questions 4 u guys (his name is mj) mj: Q1 hey Itachi who would u like to have gaysex with? Naruto, Rock Lee or Kakashi? Sugar: Baka... mj: Q2 hey Sakura who do u like better? Kakashi, Rock Lee or Gai? Sugar: Did u ate crack? mj: i dunno but i ate some white powdery stuff that tasted bad...Q3 Itachi do u like or have u read Icha Icha paradise? Also Pervee-sage my sister wanted to be one of the models 4 ur book!

Sugar: I do not and i'm only 12!!i cant do that!Ur totally on crack mj: watever Q4 Pervee-sage do u like lesbosex or gaysex? Q5 Itachi which do u like red or dark purple? Sugar: well that’s all bye bye!! and i luv everybody from the cast of Naruto! mj: cept me i hate rock lee...

Itachi: This is the worst letter yet… Kabuto: Hehe, I think it’s pretty great, myself. Itachi: Shut up, you. Kabuto: Of course, you want to answer the questions… Itachi: -glares- So anyway, the first two are utterly disgusting ideas and I would never touch either of their twelve-year-old-asses ever. Kakashi, however, is pretty fecking hot. Orochimaru: Oh, hell yeah. Kabuto: Gross… Orochimaru: I know you’ve thought it too. Kabuto: No, I only want you…-leans inOrochimaru: -suddenly slips over next to Jiraiya so Kabuto falls flat on his face- Jiraiyakun, you look cold. Jiraiya: -tries to stop shivering- I am not!! Orochimaru: -slipping hands around his waist- I think you are… Jiraiya: eep. Kabuto: -getting up all teary eyed, moaning- Orochimaru-samaaa. Inner Sakura: That’s what you get fucker. Sakura: Umm…Kakashi’s a good teacher but a little weird, and Gai creeps me out sometimes…So I guess I like Lee the best. He’s a good kid. Kabuto: -through conspicuous coughing- andfuntoscrewaroundwith. Sakura: What was that? Kabuto: Oh nothing, just you know, being half-naked and freezing cold may have given me a bit of a cough.

Sakura: -wrapping the dry shirt tighter around her- whatever… Gaara: Dude, where did you get the crack and can I have some? Kurenai: Gaara!! Gaara: I’m stuck in here with all of you. Why wouldn’t I want to get high? Zabuza: Damn, that does sound good right now… Gaara: See!? He understands… Kurenai: First person who tries to slip something illegal in here gets it. I’m in charge of these minors… Jiraiya: What if they’re giving it to one of the adults? Kurenai: then I bring out the skillet. Jiraiya: -straightening- I most definitely will not accept any illegal substances of any sort. Kurenai: Damn right you wont…-starts dong that ‘responsible adult’ thing and patrolling for substancesItachi: No, I don’t read things like that. If I want porn I make my own. Orochimaru: Would you happen to be wanting any right now? Itachi: I’m always on top. Orochimaru: That’s fine with me. Itachi: I prefer to be the oldest. Orochimaru: That’s fine with me. Itachi: …umm… Orochimaru: What? Jiraiya: You’ve really snapped…anyway, if you’re talking about watching…Girl-on-girl is— Kurenai: Ahem –fiddles conspicuously with skittle handle-

Jiraiya: --is the most unattractive thing ever. I mean…uh…young women are certainly free to make their own sexual choices but I…umm…would never…uh, use them demonstrating these choices for my own enjoyment…ah…erm… Itachi: So you prefer guy-on-guy, that’s cool. Jiraiya: what?! NO! Itachi: Hey, you said it, not me. And actually I’m more of a lavender person. Gaara: What? Itachi: My favorite color…its lavender. Kiba: As in the girly, pastel purple? Itachi: No, as in the light-toned, relaxing shade of purple. –ScowlKiba: riiiight. Gaara: -adds name to listShino: What did they do? Gaara: -eyes last sentence- oh…nothing… Rock Lee: Did my ears hear the wretched sound of someone disrespecting my youthful energy and awesome eyebrows?! Gaara: SQUEEEEE!!!!! –Glomps Rock LeeEveryone: ………WTF?! Gaara: -sits up quickly, blushing, and nonchalantly walks back over the his tower of crates (yes he still has enough to make a tower)Itachi: Gaara, seriously…what the fuck? Gaara: -silence…but is eyeing Lee as he sits up dizzilyKiba: -helping Lee to his feet- you ok? Lee: -looking around in dazed confusion- um …yes… Kiba: How’d you get here?

Lee: -posing dramatically- Ah! The horrible tale! I was traveling through what seemed like a very short and straight-forward tunnel and somehow got separated from Gai-sensei and the others and came out this drain at a bottom of the pool in that room over there… and then wandered in here hoping for a way out!! Alas…this room doesn’t even have a door…. Jiraiya: Sure it does, the one leading to the pool room. Orochimaru: Are you an idiot or something? Jiraiya: no, I’m not, sir pot. Orochimaru: hey! I don’t smoke THAT much! Jiraiya: …actually I was referencing the expression— Orochimaru: whatever! I’m offended now! –Stalks back over to Kabuto, who happily snuggles with the snakey-ninjaSakura: -still looking in shock from the trying-to-be-nonchalant Gaara and the blushing, fidgety keeps-glancing-over-at-Gaara Lee- Please…lets just move along… For Itachi: did you know that i stalk you? I saw you make out with tsunade the other day do you like her? For Orochimaru: did you know that when i see you i think of Michael Jackson. You look just like him is he your mom? KISA UCHIHA

Itachi: Yeah…lots of people stalk me. Jiraiya: WHAAAAAT?! You…and…you….Tsunade…. Itachi: Nope. Jiraiya: So…wait…what? Itachi: I never made out with Tsunade…or any woman. I heard that she does, however, have this fetish of asking her boyfriends to use some disguise jutsu to turn into shinobi she wants to screw with but can’t actually get. Jiraiya: Where the hell did you hear this?! Orochimaru: It’s kind of common knowledge, Jira. Jiraiya: IT IS?! Orochimaru: No duh.

Itachi: -as Jiraiya mutters to himself in confusion- it is? Orochimaru: No. I like to make him squirm. Itachi: -holds out handOrochimaru: -high fivesSakura: Orochimaru…your question? Orochimaru: Do I look half-black to you? Sakura: N-no. Jiraiya: Hey, speaking of which, has anyone ever seen a kid in Konoha that wasn’t Asian or kind-of Caucasian looking? Itachi: Nope. Those racist bastards… Jiraiya: Geez…that is pretty ridiculous. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to populate the whole place with beautiful ethnic women and our half-ethnic babies!! –Perverted giggleKurenai: -sighs and rolls eyes as she investigates what could be a secret compartment for drugsShino: -to Kiba- She’s getting a little paranoid isn’t she? Kiba: Teehee, if she knew where you went every day after training… Shino: Shh. Hi it ish me again! YAY! HAKU AND ZABUZA! :3 Dear Sakura 1(for Haku and Zabuza) if you two get married can I plan the wedding? 2 (for Gaara) WILL YOU MARRY ME!? I have Mr. Bear (Stuffed bear thing u had when u were little) hostage and if u don't marry me I shall DESTROY HIIMM! -Laughs evily3 (for Itachi) if I give you the frappucino -holds up frappucino- will u be meh friend? 4 (for Sakura) why u be so mean to Lee? If u don't go out with him at least go out with Kabuto... 5 (for Shino) why u always wear sunglasses? From BellaGaara12

Haku: Are you good at planning weddings? Zabuza: guh…wedding? Haku: Yup! I think we could have a really lovely one! Zabuza: Uh…I….sure…

Haku: -big, puppy eyes- You…you were always planning to marry me weren’t you? Zabuza: Yes…yes of course. –TwitchHaku: You weren’t…-really, really cute sad face, biting his nail a littleZabuza: No! No…I…I want to M-marry you, I just… Haku: -smiles and sits next to Gaara, watching Zabuza stumble over trying to figure out his own wordsGaara: You never expected him to marry you did you? Haku: Nope. –Cute smileGaara: There’s hope for you yet…-pats Haku’s shoulderHaku: -giggle- you gonna get married? Gaara: -glances at letter- Not to that chick. You can go ahead and burn him. I don’t really care. Haku: ah! No! Don’t burn the cute little stuffed Bear! I’ll take him! Gaara: Take him… Itachi: Arg! For the last time no! I have unlimited…well, kind of unlimited…Frappucinos here! One is not gonna make me your fucking friend! Turn into a cute young boy and then we’ll see. The young boys in the room: eep –back awayItachi: Oh, bug off. Most of you aren’t cute enough. Kiba: I resent that! Itachi: you’re one of the cute ones. Kiba: -pause- I resent that too! Itachi: -rolls eyesLee: Mean? Sakura is never mean!! She will someday come to realize how very much I love her! And that I would take care of her with all my youth and energy! -Dramatic pose-

Gaara: -looks sadly at LeeKabuto: Or, she’ll just keep treating you like sh— Sakura: -dives across room to cover Kabuto’s mouth- No more from you!! Kabuto: -pushing her away- Hey, I gave you my damn shirt, I’m allowed to make whatever comments I want. Sakura: Oh no you’re not! I’m still the highest authority here, this is MY story, and I’m going to exercise my damn rights! Inner Sakura: -nods in approval- HELL YEAH Kabuto: -holding up hands- ok, ok, I’ll keep my mouth shut about you abusing the hearts of the men who love you. Sakura: GRAAAAAH!!!!! –Pounces and lots of violence ensuesLee: Go Sakura-san!! You have much more youth than that man! You can defeat him!! Shino: While they’re doing that I’ll go ahead and use this time to say it’s none of your damn business. Kiba: -leaning forward and whispering- his eyes get really bloodshot, y’know? He doesn’t want everyone seeing. Shino: Thanks so much for that. Kiba: -kisses Shino’s cheek- Of course babe. Lucifel: The following is an excerpt from the review by avatarjk137, which I thought was funny, even though he’s a yaoi-hater: I am willing to accept that Kabuto and Haku might be gay, Orochimaru is probably omnisexual (boys, girls, children, Haku, chairs, you name it), and Sasuke is... emo.

Jiraiya: -cracks up- Oh man! That’s great! Orochimaru: Eww, chairs aren’t sexy at all. –Smirk- there was, however, this one sofa that was really hot… Jiraiya: you are so sick and wrong… Orochimaru: Isn’t it great? –Big smileJiraiya: Yeeeeah.

Itachi: -snickers- emo…yeah, that’s about all… Haku: excuse me Gaara. –walks over to the still confused and muttering Zabuza- Zabuzasan? Zabuza: Haku! –Suddenly grabs Haku’s shouldersHaku: uh…yes? Zabuza: I decided you’re right! Haku: hwa? Zabuza: you deserve as much commitment as I could possibly ever give you! Haku: -stunnedZabuza: Haku, I’m going to marry you! Haku: …-tears gather in big, shocked eyes- Zabuza-san…I-I don’t know what to say, I… Zabuza: -kisses Haku long and ionatelySakura: SQUEEE!! Why can’t I get that?! Kabuto: -through coughing- becuaseyou’reanuglybitch Sakura: What’s that? Kabuto: Nothing, just wishing I had my shirt back… Sakura: -snuggled deeper into the dry fabric- hellll no. Zabuza: Haku… Haku: -trying not to cry- y-yes? Zabuza: I have one condition to marrying you. Haku: Anything. Zabuza: you won’t let the fan girls plan the wedding. Haku: Aww, you always ruin all my fun.

Lucifel: Ok, hi, making an interlude here. This bit coming up next finally includes the much anticipated Dares and truths for our captured ninja. Truths are public, and the mass dare is public, but the personal dares can only be seen by those it was given too. And they must be done during this chapter. Eat your sadistic little hearts out: Okay, *grin* Truths: Kabuto- Have you ever had/ wanted to have sex with anyone besides Orochimaru-sama and (since you’re being a prick by choosing truth) who? Haku- How is Zabuza in bed? XD *even bigger grin* dares: Zabuza- Try to cut off Orochimaru-sama's hair. Kiba- Act like a cat for the rest of the chapter. The rest of you get the same dare... Kiss who you think is the sexiest person in the room!! (Kiba and Zabuza are obvious) Have fun guys.

Kiba: nooooo!! Lucifel: That’s not very cat like. Kiba: -crying gets down on all fours and starts rubbing against Shino’s legs- meow. Shino: What the hell? -SNIPOrochimaru: What was tha-AAAARRRRRGGGGG!!!! MY HAIR!!! WTFOMGBBQ!!!! MY HAAAAAAIR!!!! –Turns with angry fiery eyes on the group- Which one of you fuckers did it? Zabuza: -sneakily place’s Orochimaru’s hair in Kabuto’s lapOrochimaru: YOU! You selfish, jealous, worthless piece of treacherous SCUM!!! Kabuto: W-what? –Finds hair- No! No Orochimaru-sama it wasn’t me!! Orochimaru: Don’t lie to me! You’re just mad because I keep giving Sasuke more attention than you! Kabuto: That’s not true!! If I was jealous I’d do something to Sasuke, not you! Orochimaru: Liar! You’re a devious, cunning little bastard and I know it! Kabuto: No! I love you too much to ever hurt you!! –Breaks down sobbingLucifel: -holds up audience cue card ‘awwwww’-

Orochimaru: -gripping his now chin-length hair- Well this fucking hurts!! Itachi: It’s your hair…how can it hurt? Orochimaru: It wasn’t my hair! It’s my LIFE!! Jiraiya: But it changes every time you switch bodies. Orochimaru: I don’t CARE!! It’s the fucking principle!! –RantsZabuza: -is trying not to crack upGaara: -in all the loud, crazy confusion sneaks over to Lee and sits beside him, smiling in a very un-Gaara-like wayHaku: -blinks in surprise at Gaara, as the only one who noticesLee: -glances sideways at Gaara but dares not moveKiba: -still crying- meooow. Jiraiya: -thinks- how to calm him down? How to calm him down?! –Light bulb appears over his head- You know, Oro, I think you look really cute with Short hair. Orochimaru: -stops short- You…you do? Jiraiya: For sure. Orochimaru: -playing with his hair- well…well, I guess it’s not so bad. –Leering down his nose at Kabuto- I suppose I could forgive you. Kabuto: -standing up, and trying to control his tears in a manly way- I don’t want your fucking forgiveness. –Stalks off and closes himself in the pool roomSakura: -sigh- Haku, take over while I’m gone. I owe him one cheering up session. Haku: Sure…you know his truth is next right? Sakura: Yeah, that’s the real reason why I’m going to get him. Itachi: suuure it is. Why don’t you trust me to take over? Sakura: Are you fucking kidding me? Good luck Haku. –Goes into roomHaku: Well, ok, I’ll go ahead and answer my truth…oh…-blushes- He’s good.

Zabuza: -thinks- Is that it?! Itachi: Is that it?! Haku: well, uh…I don’t really know how to describe it in details…I mean he’s strong but…still gentle. Sometimes he gets a little carried away and it hurts but, he’s my Zabuza-san, being with him is the most wonderful thing I could ever imagine. Zabuza: -looking at Haku lovingly- Haku… Orochimaru: I’ll show you something wonderful… Zabuza: -stands between Oro and Haku- You keep the fuck away. Orochimaru: Actually, I was thinking more about doing it to you. Haku: -suddenly very menacing as he glares out from behind Zabuza’s back- Try it, you snake and I’ll poke your eyes out! Kiba: Damn, even Haku can get a little possessive. Shino: If you had a lover like that wouldn’t you want him all to yourself? Kiba: I do. –Nuzzles under Shino’s chin- meow Shino: That’s getting a little creepy. Kiba: can’t help it. -Licks hand and then rubs headShino: … Orochimaru: So…-looks mischievous- Now we all just have to kiss who we think is sexiest right? Itachi: yep! Orochimaru: What if I can’t decide? Itachi: Then we have an orgy! Orochimaru: That’s what I was thinking!! Ita/Oro: -triumphant poses-W00T!! Everyone else (besides Gaara): NO!

Ita/Oro/Gaa: Dammit Lee: -looks twitchily at GaaraGaara: -kisses Lee ionatelyItachi: WHOA!! Gaara: -after ten long seconds- What? He’s who I think is sexiest. Itachi: -blinks- No, seriously… Gaara: -slides into Lee’s lap- Seriously. Lee: -brain-dead from that most shockingly good kissItachi: Ugh, now I’m so grossed out I don’t even think I can kiss anyone. –Is suddenly kissed by Kurenai- Holy mother of…wow…that…that was some kiss! –Suddenly realizes who kissed him- HOLY SHIT!! WTF?! Kurenai: I tried not to. But my body just did it. This damn place won’t let us ignore anything. Itachi: Yeah, that’s fine. But you’re a woman and I liked your kiss! Kurenai: And that’s supposed to mean…? Itachi: YOU KISS LIKE A MAN!!! Kurenai: the fuck?! Kiba: -Kisses KurenaiKurenai: -pushes Kiba away- Kiba, woah! You didn’t have to test the idea!! Kiba: Are you dense? –Sits all cat-like- That’s not why I did it. Meow. Kurenai: -bluuush- Oh…I’m…ah, flattered? Shino: -staring in angry shock at Kiba.Gaara: waitaminute!! Kiba didn’t have to kiss anyone!! Kiba: -horror- oh shit… Shino: Yeah…you didn’t have to.

Itachi: Oh snap!! Orochimaru: MY TURN! -Pounces on Jiraiya with a big, deep, messy kissJiraiya: -tries to yell something through Orochimaru’s tongueOrochimaru: -pulls back- mmm, yummy. Jiraiya: what the fuck!?!?! Orochimaru: Heh, your turn. Kiss who you think is sexiest! Jiraiya: -Blushing many, many deep shades of red- -mutters somethingItachi: Huh? What was that? Jiraiya: I just did, ok?! Orochimaru: EEEEE!!! –Kisses Jiraiya again- Do you really think I’m sexy? Jiraiya: W-well…with the short hair and all…and I mean, you really look like a girl… Orochimaru: YAY!! –Snuggles in Jiraiya’s lapKurenai: -still holding the skillet she had pulled out in preparation- What the hell? Itachi: Aww, jealous that you aren’t the smexiest person in the room? Kurenai: No…just…stunned. Itachi: Me too, a little. –Walks over to the other side of the room and kisses Gaara, who graciously accepts and reciprocates the gesture, while still seated in Lee’s lapGaara: Not half bad. Itachi: You neither. –walks back over to his selected spot among his crates of frap mix.Shino: -sitting angrily in a cornerItachi: Come on Shino, you’re the only one left…oh, besides Sakura… Meanwhile

-Sakura and Kabuto are talking; Kabuto’s calmed down only a little and is going on long rants abut how unfairly one-sided his and Orochimaru’s relationship is when suddenly Sakura leans forward and kisses Kabuto. Sakura: -pulls back- WHAT THE MOTHER-FUCKING HELL!?!!? Kabuto: -blinks a few stunned times and then laughs- Calm down, Sakura, it was just the dare! Sakura: o-oh…good… Back in the room!! Kiba: Shino –rubs his forehead against Shino’s shoulder-…what’s wrong? Shino: I…don’t want to kiss you. Kiba: huh? Shino: I am fighting the urge to kiss you for being the sexiest person in this room! Kiba: What’s so bad about that? Shino: -GLARESKiba: Oh…the Kurenai thing… Shino: Yeah the fucking Kurenai thing. Kiba: Shino…I’m sorry. I forgot I didn’t have to, and she’s sexy is all. I still love you best. Shino: -sigh- fine. Kiba: Ok then. –Leans inShino: -kisses KibaKiba:… -is suddenly bitten by Shino- OW!! Shino: hmpf, that’s what you get. Kiba: -smirks- Actually…that just turned me on. Shino: Ugh, animals…

Haku: Oh dear…that took a lot of time. We better hurry on to more questions!! Gaara: damn, the kid’s already got Sakura’s attitude down perfectly…eww. Hello prisoners! It's been fun watching you be tortured, but I think some of you deserve a gift, and in exchange maybe a question Orochimaru: a picture of Gaara in a school girl's uniform now, why are you so pale? And don’t tell Gaara about the picture Kiba: here’s a chocolate cake and tied to this letter is a box with Akamaru in it. Why are you always wearing your hoodie? Jiraiya: a picture of Tsunade in a Bikini if you aren’t ed out/dead from nosebleed, why’d you choose turtle as your animal to summon? Sakura: nothing why are you such a bitch? Itachi: purple nail polish is there anything between you and Kisame?

Everyone: YAY!! More presents!!!!! Orochimaru: Holy shit!! It’s a picture of Gaara in a skirt! –reads last sentence of his question- oops…that might not have been a good idea. Gaara: GRRRRRAAAAAARRRR! –jumps on Orochimaru and tries to take the picture back, in the frenzy it floats over to Lee and, blushing, he takes it to a corner to look at itLucifel: Yeah, he’s a little closet pervert. Lee: -looking up- Gasp! A voice!! A new one!! Itachi: Are you feeling ok? Lee: -starts cowering- Why does this happen to me? Gaara: -stops fighting with Oro- Where’d the picture go? Orochimaru: I don’t know, but I want it BACK. Itachi: Lee has it. Oro/Gaa: -Zoom over to LeeOrochimaru: Lee, be a good boy and give me my picture… Gaara: -notices that Lee seems a little unnerved- Are you ok Lee?

Lee: Did you hear the voice? Gaara: Umm…no… Orochimaru: -notices picture lying on the ground and quietly picks it up and takes it to a corner where he...ah…umm…yeah…Gaara: -sits next to Lee- So you’re hearing voices? Lee: -nodsGaara: -sighs- -thinks- I hope this isn’t my fault… Kiba: HAHA!! YAY AKa…ma…ru…-holds up severed rope- -sniffle- no...-sits down and eat chocolate cake to drown his sorrowsShino: -comes over, takes a piece of cake, and leavesItachi: harsh… Shino: -sitting- I have to be. Kiba: I wear my hoodie to hide my shaaaame!!! –Pulls hoodie over headItachi: riiiight. Kurenai: ARGH!! Jiraiya! You just bled all over me!! Jiraiya: -holding nose and stuffing the picture into his pocket- sorry, sorry…couldn’t help it…oh, damn… Anyway, I’m pretty sure I summon frogs… Orochimaru: -coming back over from the corner- Snakes eat frogs. Jiraiya: Not when the frog is big enough this squash the snake with one foot! Orochimaru: What about snakes that are just as big? Jiraiya: You suck. Orochimaru: no…Slugs suck. Jiraiya: -snicker- For real…what good use do slugs have? I mean it’s like –makes goofy face- ‘woooo I’m a slug and I’m gonna sliiime you’ Orochimaru: -cracking up- I know, right? I mean, who the hell uses Slugs for a summoning animal?

Meanwhile: Tsunade: AAAACHOO!!! -Twitch- I sense a disturbance… Shizune: Oh no you don’t! No chasing disturbances until you get through July’s paperwork!! A note: It’s currently January where they are, too. Tsunade: But Shizuneeee… Shizune: Tsunade-sama, please, it’s for the best! Tsunade: -thinks- damn, I was really hoping I’d get to beat up Jiraiya finally…siiigh. Back in the room! Oro/Jira: -cracking upLee: -gasp- Sakura-san’s NOT a bitch!! She is a wonderful and kind and beautiful person! Itachi: Yeah, and if she had been here to read that she’d show just how kind and beautiful she is… Lee: Well, I’m here to defend her honor for her! Gaara: -mumbling angrily- How nice of you… Lee: What’s wrong? Gaara: Nothing… Lee: -clueless blinkingItachi: YAY! Nail polish! I don’t have to worry about chipping it anymore! Jiraiya: You mean to tell me you were spending this whole time making sure your nails stayed ok? Itachi: Damn straight. Haku: ooh! It’s not my usual color but I could use a new coat! Itachi: sweet! We can do each other’s!!

Haku: yay! -and Itachi and Haku became chibi and the crate fortress became surrounded with pink light and rainbows and unicorns and flowers as the two of them had their little polish party…the rest of the men backed away slowly…except OrochimaruOrochimaru: hey! Can I get some too?! Ita/Haku: Sure!! Orochimaru: wheee!! –runs over and becomes chibi tooZabuza: -drools over how cute chibi Haku isJiraiya: Don’t go over there, Zabuza, you don’t want to be a part of that. Zabuza: I…I know but…he’s SO cute!! –starts to walk towards themJiraiya: -standing in his way- Get a hold of yourself! He’s cute even normal-sized, and he’ll be back as soon as the polish dries! Zabuza: -shakes head roughly- Y-You’re right. I don’t know what got into me… Jiraiya: -puts a hand on Zabuza’s shoulder- It’s alright. We got to you in time. Kiba: -sniffling- Akamaruuu…meow… Lucifel: You know…a cat would be playing with that frayed ropeKiba: -While sobbing, half heartedly starts batting the ropeKurenai: We have another letter here… Ita/Oro/Haku: -giggleEveryone but Kiba: -shudderKiba: -thinks- this is kind of fun… -tumbles around with the ropeShino: -thinks- CUTE!!!!!! NO! no…can’t be…drawn…in… Have only a few questions 1) (for sakura-san) if Sasuke had never existed who would you want to go out with? ITACHI, NEJI, OR GAARA? 2) (For Itachi-sama) is there any other caffeinated drink you like? cuz everyone is giving you frappicino’s (sends a pack anyway) 3) (for Orochimaru-san) when did you figure out you were gay?? ( I may not like adore you but without you there wouldn't be a main bad guy in the anime)

4)( for AngelLucifel) where is Neji? he may not be gay( correct me if im wrong, there are some fics that do that, not that im against yaoi.) thnx SilverMononoke

Jiraiya: Hey sakura!! If Sasuke never existed, would you go out with Itachi, Neji or Gaara? …no reply… Jiraiya: I SAID— -The door bursts open and Sakura storms out, with a much-better looking Kabuto behind her; they’re both a little…mussedSakura: yeah, yeah, I heard you… Jiraiya: soooo? Kabuto: Oh my GOD. What are those three doing?! Jiraiya: You don’t want to know. Kabuto: -shiversShino: -to Kabuto- Hey…you got your shirt back on… Kabuto: -blushblushblush- ummm, yeah, Sakura’s dress was dry so we switched back. Shino: In the same room? Kabuto: No? Shino: riiiight. Sakura: Itachi’s gross and…-eyes the rainbow-fest- gay, Gaara’s creepy, and Neji’s… huh, I guess he’s a little like Sasuke…if I had to pick any of them probably Neji. Lee: -running over to her- BUT if you had your choice of anyone it would be me, right Sakura-san? Gaara: -glaresSakura:-eyeing Gaara worriedly- umm…sure, Lee. Lee: -triumphant smileGaara: -deep, dark, evil scowl-

Itachi: Mountain Dew is good. Haku/Oro: Yaaay!! Mountain Dew!! Lee: What’s mountain Dew? Kabuto: Poor thing, he hasn’t been here long enough for outside-world-realization to set in. Lucifel: Naw, I just like tormenting him. Lee: GAH! There it is again! Sakura: You can HEAR her?! Lee: You can!? Sakura: I thought I was going crazy! Lee: Me too! Kabuto: You ARE!! Sakura: -scowls over at Kabuto- Don’t give me any trouble. You work for the craziest guy here. Kabuto: -sighs- yeah…that is true… Itachi: yeah, Oro, when did you find out you were gay? Haku:-gigglesOrochimaru: Well…I never liked girls, and when I got a crush on Jiraiya after we got put on a team together I kind of figured it was the only explanation… Jiraiya: When you…got…what? Orochimaru: I wuv you Jiraiya!! Ita/Haku: -giggleJiraiya: -scoots awayOro/Ita/Haku: -giggle-

Lee: Oh…I dunno where Neji is… Lucifel: why don’t you call him? Lee: Why don’t I…guh? -A phone appears on the back wallLee: Umm…what? Gaara: Well, go and try it. –Shoves Lee forward a littleLee: -gulps and slowly picks up the phone. The number dials automatically and the phone starts ringing-A sprinkle of nervous giggle before the phone is picked up on the other endNeji: -sounding disheveled- Hello? Lee: N-Neji-kun? Neji: Yeah…who is this? Lee: It’s Lee. Neji: …Is this about last night? Lee: -BluuuushEveryone besides Gaara and the currently distracted Kiba: -tries not to crack up ridiculouslyGaara: -seethesLee: NO! Neji: -relieved sigh- Ok, what is it? Lee: …-can’t say anything in his embarrassmentKabuto: -takes phone- So I take it, then, that you are gay? Neji: Who is this?! I don’t have to answer your questions!! -And in the background of the phone call a voice…a voice everyone slightly recognizes somehow says:-

Strange voice: Neji-kun, come back to bed…it’s probably just Naruto pulling a prank call. Kabuto: Oh-ho, so you’ve got a boy with you now have you? Nice. Neji: Who the hell are you? Other person: I’m telling you, it’s just Naruto or Kiba… Oro/Ita/Saku: -thinking- who is that…I know that voice…? Neji: I’m hanging up the phone now! Good bye! -Click-Everyone except Lee and Gaara explode laughing, until suddenly, Orochimaru interjects:Orochimaru: OH MY GOD!!! Sakura: W-what? Orochimaru: …That was Sasuke. -Long, drawn-out silence. Kiba stops playing with the string and stares along with everyone elseSakura: W-what? Orochimaru: the other person with Neji…that was Sasuke… Itachi: OH MY GOD! Callhimback! Callhimback!! -The phone disappearsEveryone: NOOOOO Sakura: But that means…that one girl…LIED to me… Kabuto: Except about Kankuro…I bet he really does that creepy shit. Gaara: -sighSakura: that’s unacceptable!!

Inner Sakura: THAT BITCH!! NOOO!!! YOU CAN’T TOY WITH MY HEART!!!!!! ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG!!!!! -And with an explosion so powerful everyone was sent spiraling into furniture and walls the most horrid, and inexplicable thing happened…Inner Sakura was set freeInner Sakura: About damn time too. Lucifel: That concludes Chapter Thirteen! Muwahahahhaahaha. It’s realllly long, I know, but I’m sure guys love it…or at least I hope you do. So, This has been my return, see you later.

Ask Sakura 14 Lucifel: Alrighty, number two of the massive catching-up update. You know you love it. Orochimaru: thank god! Shino: what? Orochimaru: The nail polish survived the explosion! Shino: Then why is Itachi still looking horrified? Orochimaru: Ah, because, sadly, the frappucino machines did not. Gaara: WHAT?! NOOOO!!! Inner Sakura: HEY!! Don’t you bitches even care about what just happened? Sakura: -swoonsKabuto/Lee: -run forward to catch herKabuto:-Gets there firstLee: -hangs head in disappointmentGaara:-looks at Lee as if hurtKabuto: You ok? Sakura: I feel really weak… Inner sakura: Hmm, lets think about why that might be shall we? Jiraiya: Umm…what just— Inner Sakura: -bearing down on him- You!! You shut up you old pervert. Jiraiya: But I—

Inner sakura: I said: Shut up and SIT DOWN. Jiraiya: -whimpers and sitsInner Sakura: Ok, I want everyone— -Orochimaru and Haku start painting their nails againInner Sakura: And I mean EVERYONE. –Nail polish explodes- To pay close attention to me. Oro/Haku: Noo!! –WeepKiba: YES!!! NO MORE CAT STUFF!!!! -Inner Sakura turns to glare at Kiba, Kiba flies across the room and crashes into the wall, falling among pieces of broken crates. Shino gives a cry of shock and runs to his sideEveryone else: -shuts up and listens intently, Itachi falls to his knees and holds his hands weakly towards the shattered nail polish bottleInner Sakura: I run this show NOW, bitches. I’m gonna answer questions for Sakura, and make sure everyone else does the same thing, to the same degree of truthfulness, or there’ll be PUNISHMENT. Understand? Gaara: But— Inner Sakura: -turning to face him sharply- You have a problem with that? Gaara: N-no… Inner Sakura: Good. Now, I may, or may NOT let you receive presents based on whether or not I like ‘em or think you deserve ‘em. Jiraiya: But that’s not— Inner Sakura: I want you all to , I am THE most powerful part of Sakura’s brain. And I have POWERS. Jiraiya: P-powers? Inner Sakura: No, Kiba slammed himself against that wall by choice, totally. Everyone: -gulp-

Inner Sakura: So if no one objects, I’m going to answer questions now. DOES anyone object? Everyone: no… Inner Sakura: Good. By the way, from now on, refer to me as Zakura, that way I don’t have to deal with this “second Sakura and therefore a lesser character shit”. Lucifel: And by the way, that is a legitimate Japanese name. Zakura: Now, we’ve skipped a couple questions. And I don’t like that. I’m going back now. The questions were “Does Itachi have a thing for Kisame?” and “Has Kabuto ever wanted to or had sex with someone besides Orochimaru?” Itachi: -twitch- thanks so much for bringing back bad memories… Orochimaru: I smell a sex scandal!! Tell us Itachi! Come onnnn!! Itachi: No, no, I never liked him. I thought he was creepy and not hot at all but…he got drunk one night and kept hitting on me…-shivers- it was horrible. Orochimaru: hehe, getting hit on by a fish, now I know how Kakashi feels…So, Kabuto, have you?! Kabuto: -is distracted by still taking care of SakuraOrochimaru: Hey! Answer! Zakura: Feeling jealous already? Orochimaru: no. Kabuto: ugh. –the next bit is said really fast- I had a few boyfriends and girlfriends before Orochimaru had sex with two of the boys but never truly loved anyone until I met Orochimaru and from that day on I have been totally loyal and never wanted anything more. Now will you PLEASE leave me alone?! Orochimaru: -blinks- I think I’m a little flattered. Kabuto: It would be the first time… Orochimaru: -ignores the hurting of KabutoOk Sakura I’ve got a question for you... why do you REALLY like Sasuke? Because all you've been saying is that he's the only one for you, but that's not a reason. So you have to give me a REAL reason and you're not aloud to say because he's hot. And honestly deep down inside I don't think you truly love him.

And if you can't come up with a good reason then you'd better get away from MY Sasuke, not your's! MINE! Sincerely BehindTheHazelEyes P.S. You should a least TRY dating Naruto or Lee.

Zakura: Ok, the thing is, Sakura over there in the prissy-boys arms— Kabuto: Hey! Zakura: -glaresKabuto: meep. –Shuts upZakura: Ok, she’s liked him for so long, its habit. She doesn’t even know if she DOES love him anymore. She just knows she’s supposed to. So actually, Hazel eyes, you have a point. Sakura: Th-That’s a lie. Zakura: You don’t have a say in it. Sit down and think about it and you’ll find out you know. I’m doing this for our own good. Kabuto: -places Sakura gently on the ground to sit, and hold her shoulders comfortingly as she sits in shock and exhaustion from the splitZakura: So yeah, basically he’s all yours. Orochimaru: Actually, he’s mine. Zakura: Whatever. Itachi: So…why don’t you have the same obsession as Sakura? Zakura: Well…I kind of did when I was inside her, but now that I’m out I’m an embodiment of her more hidden sides. Her aggression, her anger, her domination, and… her lesbianism. Everyone: -shocked silenceOrochimaru: So you’re… Zakura: Currently checking out Kurenai’s ass, yeah. Kurenai: wha?!

Zakura: Calm down. It’s a nice ass. And by the way, you can’t pull the skillet on a fellow woman. Kurenai: No fair… Lee: Ne, Sakura-san, I really would take care of you…if you wanna talk or— Sakura: Not now Lee!! My head’s splitting and my stomach is in knots, and…and…starts sobbingLee: -takes a step forward- Sakura-san I— Kabuto: -holds up his hand to stop Lee and shakes his head while pulling Sakura into his lap further, so she can muffle her sobbing in his shoulderLee: -Turns all white and a cold, snowy wind blows by. His face is stamped in large, red letters: REJECTEDKiba: -has, during other happenings, gotten up and recovered and now walks over to LeeHey, you ok buddy? Lee: -stands stock stillKiba: Lee? –Pats his shoulderLee: -crumblesKiba: -thinks- Shit! Shit! Shit! I broke Lee!! What do I do?! What do I do?! –looks around shiftily and sees that no one is watching- … -sneaks to a corner and thinks- Phew, that was close…huh, where’d Gaara go? Gaara: -pouncing down from the ceiling- I SAW WHAT YOU DID YOU DAMN, DIRTY DOG!!!! -Aaaaand another background fight! YAY!!Sakura im going to get u and Kurenai out of their. Just tie Itachi, Kiba, Gaara, and Haku up with out their shirts on take a picture of them and send the picture and the boys in the mail to me. Just email me here’s a computer so u can email me and I’ll give u my address. Make sure you use charka strings on them so they don’t break lose. I’ll get u sakura and Kurenai out of their. P.S IM NEVER THIS COLD HEARTED OMLY WHEN IT COMES TO SHIRTLESS GUYS. P.S.S IM SO SORRY HAKU I JUST CANT HELP MYSELF WITH YOU BEING SO CUTE (GIGGLE). P.S.S.S KILL ORO PLZ HE IS SUCH A PERVERT DIE ORO. P.S.S.S.S SASUKE WILL NEVA BE GAY I WILL KILL ALL WHO SAY THAT. IM SO SORRY FOR ALL THE P.S .S 'S FROM YOURS TRULY SAKURAGIRL721

Zakura: Firstly, I enjoy it here. I’m in control. Everyone: -moan-

Zakura: Secondly, while more domineering than Sakura I don’t actually have the physical power to stave off both Itachi and Zabuza…so no can do. Though Haku is a cutie, ne? Zabuza: What happened to being Lesbian? Sakura: He counts as a girl. Haku: -giggleOrochimaru: Can we please have the computer? Zakura: All yours. Orochimaru: Hey…there are no power outlets in this room… Zakura: Nope, there’s not. Orochimaru: You are the devil woman. Zakura: I know…but apparently you have to die. Orochimaru: Yep, already added her name to my list. Gaara: Damn, almost catching up to me. Zakura: And Sasuke IS gay, sorry. Itachi: -to Sakura- SEE?! Deep down inside you knew all along!! Sakura: -moanKabuto: Leave her alone, Itachi… Itachi: -smirks- oh yes sir… Kabuto: -rubs her shoulders gentlyDear Sakura, I, myself am a TOTAL sasusaku fan also I am an ORICHIMARU-MUST-DIE-AND-ROT-IN-HELL fan. :D Anyway, Oro, how can Sasuke be gay if he has to repopulate the Uchiha clan? Kabuto, are you CHEATING on your beloved master with Deidara? Sincerely, D.O.B.E (Dark Overlord Bunny of Evil)

Zakura: Boy are you deluded. Even I, Sakura, know that Sasuke and I will NEVER happen.

Orochimaru: AND I AM TOO SMEXY TO ROT!!! Zakura: -sideways glance- riiight. Orochimaru: -frown- you don’t think so? Zakura: What do I have to do? Get a buzz cut and play rugby? I’m lesbian!! Orochimaru: But…I’m pretty. Zakura: Yes, the short hair is very cute. No, you’re not THAT womanly. –Smirk- but apparently womanly enough for Jiraiya. Orochimaru: -looks over at Jiraiya confusedly- how so? Zakura: -leaning in and quieting her voice- To let you in on a secret, I can read minds and our little pervy sage over there is pretty much obsessed with you. Orochimaru: -eyes turn into hearts- SQUEEE!!! Zakura: -covering his mouth- shh, don’t let him know you’re onto him. Play it smooth. Orochimaru: -nod, nodZakura: Great, answer the questions and go get your man. Orochimaru: huh? Oh, I’m sure Sasuke has a plan or something… -saunters over to Jiraiya and sits next to him in as sexy of a position as possible- Hey. Jiraiya: Hi… Orochimaru: -smiles, sighs, and lies across Jiraiya’s lapJiraiya: … -thinks- wtf? Itachi: -snickering- everything ok? Jiraiya: Yeah…I just can’t decide if this new, calmer and less painful approach is good or just more unnerving… Orochimaru: -happy sigh and snuggles closer to JiraiyaJiraiya: -thinks- and I also can’t figure out how he manages to look so adorable and really be so…him…

Itachi: I’ll leave you to your snuggle-bunny then…-snerkJiraiya: What?! No! He’s…not…-looks at the happy Oro- … -sighs and puts his arms around himZakura: Well, that distracts the two biggest perverts for a while. –Satisfied smirkAnyway, Kabuto, any comments. Kabuto: I’m TRYING to take care of the girl whose brain you shattered a few minutes ago!! FUCK OFF!! Zakura: Well, to summarize--No, he’s cheating on him for sakura. Kabuto: ARG!! SHUT UP! 1. Do you have beds, blankets, and bathrooms? 2. Where is this demented room located and where were each of you guys before you got here?

Kiba: None that I’ve seen. Lucifel: He and Gaara stopped fighting a while ago, btw. Zakura: Well, there are bathrooms attached to the swimming pool… Itachi: You mean I’ve been holding in all the Frappuccinos all this time for NOTHING?! Zakura: Umm… Itachi: Never mind! Outta my way!! Kiba: what? He was holding it? Gross… Shino: What would you have done? Kiba: Exactly what I did do. I used that potted plant over there. Everyone not otherwise occupied: -disgustKiba: what? When you gotta go, you gotta go. Jiraiya: Yep. Orochimaru: UGH!! –Jumps off lapJiraiya: What?! I’m a guy! It’s what we do! Shino/Oro/Kabu: Bull SHIT!!

Jiraiya: You don’t? Shino/Oro/Kabu: NO!!! Jira/Kiba: Weird… Itachi: aaah, I’m back. Zakura: No more of this nonsense. If I had the ability to pee standing up I’d want to show it off too! Kiba: I’m starting to like her a little more. Zabuza: Word. Zakura: Oh yeah, Zabuza and Haku, you two haven’t been doing much, go plan your wedding or something; give the girls some fan service. Haku: Gasp! With all the nail polish I forgot!! Quick! We must make plans!! -Haku pulls Zabuza off to a corner, trailing rainbows and flowers behind himZakura: -smiling- We can move on now. The location of this room is private. Don’t think I didn’t notice all those “We’ll break you out” letters, I give the address and we’d have millions of fan girls charging the place! As for me and Sakura, we planned this as an innocent question-answering column and set this all up. Once the door locked it became the prison it is. We had no way of knowing this room was cursed, but I’m glad it happened. –Evil smile- I never would have realized my full potential otherwise. Orochimaru: -to Itachi- You sense a crazed-psycho villain in the making? Itachi: Oh yeah. Jiraiya: Well, I was trying to get material for my latest novel. Kurenai: Peeping on young women again, you mean? Jiraiya: Nope. Not this time. Kiba: You were peeping on boys? Jiraiya: No!! I was peeping on an older woman!! Kiba: Gross…

Jiraiya: Not that much older!! Damn you’re all insufferable. Orochimaru: I like that he doesn’t even deny peeping anymore…teehee. Jiraiya: I…ugh, never mind. Orochimaru: Well, anyway I was sitting in one of my special dramatic sitting-andthinking spots mulling over my dark plans. And since Kabuto’s busy with the princess, I’ll just let you know that he was standing obediently behind as a small tribute to my many elite followers. Itachi: you put a lot of thought into this villain thing don’t you? Orochimaru: Hell yes. It’s not easy you know. Itachi: I don’t put that much thought into it. Orochimaru: Well that’s why I have more people afraid of me. Itachi: bull shit. I’m just a natural is all. Orochimaru: Are you calling me a FAKE villain!? Itachi: No, never. I’m just saying I’m crazier. Orochimaru: I’m plenty crazy!!! Itachi: Of course you are. At any rate, I was hanging out with Kisame and Deidara. Kiba: That’s it? Just hanging out? No evil plotting? No mass genocide? Itachi: nope. We were playing strip poker, actually. Orochimaru: But you came here fully clothed… Itachi: We had just started. Damn shame too…Deidara’s pretty sexy when naked…or clothed. Orochimaru: Oh, I do miss Dei-kun. Itachi: I’m sure he misses you too. Orochimaru: Really?! Itachi: Eh…sure…

Orochimaru: Yay!! Zakura: come on people, keep this moving!! Kiba: Oh well, I was looking for Shino actually. Shino: I was taking care of my garden, didn’t you think of coming by the house? Kiba: I guess not… Shino: What do I see in you? Kiba: My sexiness. Shino: Oh, of course. –Rolls eyesKiba: -cuddles next to Shino and look up at him with his big, dark eyes- You don’t think I’m sexy? Shino: Nope. –Totally immuneKiba: -crushedKurenai: I was reading. Jiraiya: Reading what, may I ask? Kurenai: 1,000 ways to kill a man who offends you. Jiraiya: Oh… Kurenai: A few dozen of them involve only a skillet. Jiraiya: -gulp- Did I tell you lately how much I respect you? Kurenai: Fuck off. Jiraiya: Yes ma’am. Haku: Who cares what we were doing before! We’re planning a wedding now!! Zabuza: -urg- And besides, we were dead. Haku: But now we’re going to be married!! Itachi: Yeah…we got that part.

Haku: -big, bright smileItachi: -thinks- So…fucking…cute… Gaara: I was with Naruto. Itachi: Oh-ho, and what were you doing with the little fox boy? Gaara: Less than you’d think and I’d have liked. We hang out more than you imagine. Itachi: Seriously? Gaara: Yeah, we’re friends— Itachi: No, you’d seriously want to get in his pants? Gaara: Sure. Either way is cool. It’s always been up to him, he knows I’m up for anything. Itachi: Excuse my while I use the bathroom again…-gagsGaara: -glares-. Lee: I was where I said I was…oh such a sad tale!! If only Gai-sensei had at least been with me!! I can feel my youth draining away in here!! Shikamaru: You and your youth are so troublesome… Lee/Kiba: Shikamaru!!! Shikamaru: Yes? Kiba: Well… Lee: Ah… Shikamaru: -sighs- So troublesome…I can’t believe I’m stuck in another ridiculous situation like this… Sakura- Why don’t you just give up on Sasuke? Itachi, Jiraiya, Orochimaru and everyone else is saying it and now I’m saying it. HE IS GAY (and my word is law) Orochimaru- Although you are probably my least favorite character in the series, i still want to know something. Just how long is your tongue? Itachi- I have a dare for you, I dare you to stay away from your Frappiccino machine and not drink any Frappiccino's that come your way for 3 days. Instead you will give them to Haku, cause I want to see him on a sugar high Fangirl 10174

Zakura: Yep, he’s definitely gay, thank you for reiterating the exact thing we’ve already discussed at least twice in every update. Orochimaru: Personally every time I hear it, it still makes me smile. Itachi: Yeah, I’m glad Sasuke finally came out. Naruto: Where did Sasuke come out of? Orochimaru: Neji’s ass. When’d you get here? Naruto: Just now…I came up through this pool thing…it was scary…wait, what about Neji’s ass? Orochimaru: Sasuke was in it just a minute ago. Naruto: o.O Itachi: More likely Neji was in him. Orochimaru: Yeah…Sasuke is a bit of a catcher… Itachi: For sure. Jiraiya: Why do you know these things!? Itachi: Do I have to spell it out? Jiraiya: No…please don’t… Itachi: Ok then. Well, Oro, how long is your tongue? Orochimaru: It can grow indefinitely. –smirk- But when it’s at normal length it’s still like, ten inches or something. Itachi: Damn. That’s hot… Orochimaru: I know. I can use it to help you through the next three days if you like. Itachi: What’s the nex— -GASP- …Zakura…do I have to? Zakura: yep. But hey, your frappuccino machine was broken right? Not THAT much of a loss. Haku, will you want the Fraps? Haku: …and we’ll have flowers and Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura will be there and we should have it while standing on a lake, oh it will be so romantic! And then we’ll…

Zabuza: -is brokenZakura:… soooo, onto the next question. dear sakura did you know that Orochimaru has been fucking with your mom ? I took pictures here [pictures come out] smack him for me will ya? Your friend KISA UCHIHA

Orochimaru: What? Eww!! I’d never do an older woman! Zakura: …that’s not my mom. Orochimaru: See? Zakura: That’s Tsunade. Orochimaru:… No it’s not!! –grabs picture- I didn’t do that!! –looks around at the many staring people- I WAS DRUNK!!! Zakura: Umm…didn’t we talk earlier about Tsunade’s fetish? Orochimaru: …oh yeah…heh, so she wants to bang me. That’s cool. Zakura: Yeah…but, what’s this about being drunk? Orochimaru: Oh…you know, I was just making up illegitimate excuses! Jiraiya: It’s actually true. He doesn’t get drunk. Itachi: How is that possible? Orochimaru: What can I say? If you’re gonna drink with Jiraiya you gotta have high tolerance. Itachi: When were you drinking with Jiraiya? Orochimaru: Oh…way back before I left Konoha…-wistful sigh-…besides I can drink cuz I’m a snake. Kiba: The fuck? Orochimaru: I dunno…it’s some Japanese myth-thing. Shino: Aren’t we Japanese?

Kiba: No. We’re Ninja…Ninjanese. Shino: …riiiight. HI Sakura (sasuke: MPH) oh, yeah sorry Sasuke. I put tape on his mouth, one sec. (-rip-) (Sasuke: HOLY! OUCH!! Hey, I will stop trying to kill you Itachi if you get me outta here! HELP ME! SHE'S NUTS!) SHUT UP! Gosh... anyway. how is yall? me and Sasuke are doing great (Sasuke: no im NOT!) Yes you Are! (Sasuke: NO I'M-)do you want to see 'mr. tedyofdeath' again? (Sasuke: N-n-no n-n-no-not the- te-tedted-teddy!-cries-)aw. he's so cute! i luvs Sasuke lots! Well, bye bye! sasuke says bye too right? (Sasuke:uh yeah bye -whispers-help...me...) Hilarious Tragedy

Zakura: Is she still at this? We all know Sasuke was banging Neji instead of really being there. Shikamaru: He was? Zakura: Yep. Shikamaru: … Kiba: huh? What’s wrong Shikamaru? Shikamaru: …nothing. Naruto: Lots is wrong…-imagines Neji and Sasuke making out- … -twitchNeji: actually, Sasuke did mention he had only escaped for a little while from somewhere. And Kankuro did come and tie him up and take him away… Naruto: And you didn’t stop him!? Neji: Are you kidding me? Kankuro scares the shit out of me! Gaara: -snicker- He does that sometimes…he’s really not that bad. Shikamaru: Wait, Sasuke broke out of Hilarious whatever’s prison for only a little while and went to you for a quick lay before he was found again? Neji: Yeah, and then when Kankuro showed up I ran away and came here cuz I heard Kurenai and thought it might be safe here. Why? Shikamaru: No reason… Gaara: I bet Kankuro made that teddy…heh…

Zakura: I wanna move on now… Have you ever had the urge to steal Sasuke's shirt? You know the one with the fan symbol? Jiraiya: You know, my teacher actually has the hots for you. . . Our friends and I got together for J-Club and we all posing. We were supposed to call out our favorite character. Well. . .We had several Sakuras, Inos, Hakus, Gaara No sasukes or Narutos, A lot of Tentens One Orchimaru (the guy that sits in the back corner chewing on his pen), And she suddenly yells "Jiraiya". . .Creepy, no? Sincerely, Kyoni

Kiba: Huh? Fan? I thought that was a pokeball… Naruto: Yeah me too…now I see why Sasuke got so mad whenever I mention the pokeball on his shirt… Zakura: Actually, this one time during training we were practicing water-walking and Naruto broke our concentration and we all fell in. While our clothes were hung up to dry and Sasuke and Naruto fell asleep and for just a minute I…well, Sakura, took his shirt down and wore it. Sakura: H-hey! That was a secret! Only Kakashi knew! Zakura: oh, suck it up. You were wearing Kabuto’s shirt earlier… Orochimaru: Whoa, hey! When did you change back? Kabuto: Oh I just talked her into giving my shirt back…is all… Orochimaru: -suspiciousJiraiya: It’s not that creepy, I have LOTS of fans! Especially of my wonderful books! Orochimaru: I bet I’m the only fan of your ass. Jiraiya: …-twitchShikamaru: Who’s Tenten? Neji: I dunno. Lee: She’s on our TEAM Neji!! Neji: She is? Lee: Who did you think our third member was? Neji: I thought I was cool enough to count for two.

Lee: -jaw dropGaara: If anyone can count for two people its Lee for being so cute! Everyone: -stares…and twitch a littleGaara: ehehe…-sits defensively in a cornerHere is another Sasuke plushy with a protector. If anyone except you touch it they will be shocked instantly and be put into a coma. :D Haku and Zabuza: how are you in the fic if you died? Don't get me wrong! You guys are cool! Ero-nin: You may be a perv but you are still human. Here are some muffins. -Hands him muffins- Aksi, why did you become a porn author? Kabuto: You are annoying but here are new glasses. They are totally in style right now ^^ Orochimaru: Lord Orochimaru, I’m sorry you are stuck here. I’m you loyal servant. I'll do anything just ask. EXCEPT I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING PERVERTED! ~Kori Tatsu

Zakura: So yeah, this chick tried to send you guys a shit load of food but since I didn’t feel like looking through it all to see what I’d allow I just threw it all out. Everyone: NOO!! Zakura: And I’m keeping the plushie. It doesn’t zap me cuase I count as Sakura. Orochimaru: What are you gonna do with it? Zakura: Sell it to a fangirl or something… Sakura: Hey! That’s not fair! Zakura: Then come get it, princess! Sakura: …-scowls and turns awayZakura: Yeah, that’s what I thought. Lucifel: And by the way I only picked out four (and only because some of them were short) questions out of the eight. Sorry, didn’t have time for all of them. Haku: And we’ll use jutsu to make it snow just like the day we met, and I bet we can get Tsunade-sama to do the ceremony, and I’ll need a new kimono… Zabuza: -brains have started oozing out his ears-

Itachi: So, basically, we don’t know and don’t care because Haku’s SO cute and Zabuza’s SO hot that it’s worth the confusion to have them here. Jiraiya: Yay! Muffin!! Zakura: How did I miss that? –Steals muffin and makes it disintegrateJiraiya: -sniffle- A-anyway, when I was young I used to think “wow! Wouldn’t it be great if I could make a living off of peeping on girls?!” And so, following that dream, I created my current career. Orochimaru: I love a determined man. Jiraiya: -backs awayKabuto: -Looks at glasses- Umm…I don’t know… Sakura: -perking up a little in curiosity- Put them on! Kabuto: -scowls and puts them onSakura: -bluuuuuush- Uh-um, maybe you shouldn’t…uh… Kabuto: What? They don’t look good do they? Sakura: Oh, well, actually… Zakura: They make you look fucking hot, dude. Kabuto: -smirking at Sakura- Really? Sakura: -blush spreads to her ears and she turns awayKabuto: -chucklesOrochimaru: Kid…what’s the point if you won’t do anything perverted? Seventy-five percent of what my minions are around for is perverted stuff… Kimimaro: Only seventy five percent? Kabuto: Kimi! What are you doing here? Kimimaro: I dunno… Lucifel: HE’S SO SMEXY I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM.

Kimimaro: But this place is better than where I was… Orochimaru: Oh, I’m sorry, did you go to hell? Kimimaro: No, heaven. You would not believe how damn annoying all that singing and laughing gets… Zabuza: -snaps back to awareness- Oh, I know! That drove me up a fucking wall!! Haku: Hey! Are you listening to these plans? Zabuza: Of course dear…-slumpsKimimaro: …right, well, what are you doing here Orochimaru-sama? With…these…waves vaguely at the group of good peopleOrochimaru: Well, we can’t escape or anything, and honestly I’m having a good time. – Eyes JiraiyaKimimaro: Well, so long as I’m not in heaven… Orochimaru: Oh, Kimi, I owe you so much for all your loyalty! I promise, before you have to go back I’ll make you so full of sin heaven will HAVE to kick you out! Kimimaro: -goes misty-eyed- Orochimaru-Sama…thank you. Orochimaru: It’s the least I can do! Kabuto: -thinks- The longer Orochimaru-sama stays in here the bouncier he gets…I’m starting to worry… Itachi: -snerk- and exactly what sin are you going to fill him with? Orochimaru: -smirkKimimaro: -raises an eyebrowGaara: -walks up to Kimimaro- Yo. Kimimaro: hey. Gaara: How’s things? Kimimaro: You know…dead. Gaara: Ah yeah, sorry about that.

Kimimaro: Hey, I was dying anyway; it was a good way to go. Gaara: So no hard feelings? Kimimaro: None. Gaara: Cool. Naruto: …hwa? Shino: Don’t think about it; just…don’t think about it. Naruto: -nodsGaa-chan pls don't put me on the list! im very very-a few hrs l8er of saying very- sorry that i said it coz i ate sugar that time oh heres a peace offering its a frappacino waterfall with a lake! Hope ya like it! Kura-chan do u like Ferraris if u do heres a late x-mas gift an enzo Ferrari! A pink color one hope ya like if not then give it back! Ita-chan do u like ppl pairing u up w/ other guys in naruto? Bye bye yours, SugarHighQueen ps i luv all u guys! Also my lil bro says lee u suck!

Gaara: Bitch, if you think for one second that I’m gonna— Kurenai: Gaara, keep reading. Gaara: …wanna be my best friend? Kiba: Hey! How come Gaara gets to keep that? Zakura: Cuase it’s fucking awesome. Kiba: …no fair. Gaara: whereisitwhereisitwhereisit? Zakura: I turned the pool into the lake… Gaara: SQUUEEEEEE –starts running offKimimaro: What’s a frappuccino? Gaara: -freezes and then quickly runs back to grab Kimi and pulls him into the room and slams and locks the door behind him-

Orochimaru: Come on Gaara! You can’t keep it all to yourself!! Gaara: -muffled through the door- That’s why I brought Kimimaro in with me! Orochimaru: Buuuuut… Gaara: I’ll let you all in, in a minute, I need to relish this… Orochimaru: Oh, fine. Itachi: No…no fair… Sakura: Of course I don’t get the Ferrari…-mumbleZakura: Actually it’s waiting outside for when we get out. I want it too, y’know. Sakura: for real?! Zakura: Yeah, but I spray-painted it black. Sakura: you think I care?! YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY Zakura: Well at least you’ve stopped moping momentarily… Itachi: So long as I’d really screw ‘em I don’t mind. It’s their fantasies… Orochimaru: So…what about you and Jiraiya? Itachi: I don’t want to hear about your fucked up fantasies. Orochimaru: Actually I hadn’t thought about it but now…-shivers- I need a cold shower or a hot bed… Itachi: I’ll see what I can do. Zabuza: -water jutsus on OrochimaruOrochimaru: -sputter-Hey! What was that for!! Zabuza: You said you need a cold shower… Orochimaru: -scowlGaara: -through door still- You’re little brother is going on the list! 1: Kurenai, why don't you see very many married kunoichi? Sometimes we see wives who are ninjas, and sometimes we see husbands who are ninjas, but never married to each other.

2: Orochimaru, if you were really such a Jutsu master, wouldn't you know a jutsu that would summon frappachinos? Just outta curiousity. 3: Why don't you guys just order pizza? There's a phone in the corner, the number's 5-5881. Baka. Khellan Rafe

Kurenai: Oh, well, usually if two ninja do marry one of them retires so they can raise the children. Shikamaru’s mom was a kunoichi but she retired to raise him. And often times ninja marry those who aren’t other ninja for the sheer purpose of not having to worry about their spouse. Also, married couples are almost never put on the same mission together. Kiba: right, too much bickering. Kurenai: Sometimes I worry about your family life… Kiba: Sometimes I worry too… Kurenai: … Orochimaru: Alas! No! I didn’t have the foresight to memorize such a jutsu! Curse my foolishness!! Jiraiya: It’s not really that foolish. I mean, when would that come in handy? Orochimaru: Now! Jiraiya: I meant outside of now… Orochimaru: It would be awesome! No driving to a freaking Starbucks and paying ten bucks for a damn frappuccino, you’d just have to draw out a few bloody symbols and voila! Caffeinated goodness for your sipping pleasure! Itachi: stop! You’re hurting me! Zakura: He’s never gonna last three days… Kiba: -gasp! - PIZZA!!!!!!!!!! Shino: Yeah…one problem? That’s not enough numbers for a phone number… Kiba: -breaks- noooo Actually, Obito died from being crushed by a boulder before I think Itachi was even born. But nice story anyways! Chibiangelailesa

Itachi: Oh like I’m supposed to keep track of the names of all of the hundreds of people I killed that night! So—rry. Gees. Sakura: Itachi, she wasn’t even rude about it… Itachi: WhatEVER. Everyone: … Meanwhile in the pool room: Kimimaro: -pretty much literally bouncing off the wallsWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!! This stuff is amazing!!! WOOOO!!!! WHEEEEE!!!! Gaara: -has gone beyond twitching to…buzzing?-hehehehehehehehehehe, yeeeeeah. Sooo, back in the main room: (Hands Itachi and Gaara each a sampler pack with every frap mix flavor, and a plate of Starbucks pumpkin scones to everybody) Starbucks makes great stuff, coffee or otherwise. My questions: Jiraiya, has Kakashi ever asked to have his book autographed? Kabuto: Are you aware you know the creepiest jutsus around? I mean, how off is it threaten people by waving your heart at them? (I saw it in a music video) Kiba: Why did you, Chouji, and Neji NOT DIE when fighting Orochimaru's groupies (who all succeeded in dying properly, I believe)? avatarjk137

Zakura: I guess these pastries are ok… Everyone: YAY!!! -The pool door bursts open and two blurry images, one red, one white, rush around the plate of scones and then back into the room and the door slams again…the scones are goneItachi: Dammit Gaara!! Get you and your sugar-high ass back out here with the damn scones!! Zakura: too late. If he’s that hyper it’s likely they’re already eaten… Itachi: no fair… Jiraiya: Actually, for Kakashi’s birthday last year I gave him a full, special-edition autographed box set of all my works…he was so happy he cried a little. Kabuto: And yeah…I once killed someone just because they were so disgusted and shocked and terrified they fainted and all I had to do as stab ‘em…

Orochimaru: Yeah!! It’s not fair that my groupies had to die but you all survived! It’s not right! Damn you and your unlikely heroism! Zakura: Actually that bugged me too. It was sooo unrealistic. Shikamaru: how so? I mean, how can it be unrealistic if it really happened? Zakura: Shut up, you. Shikamaru: -rolls eyesHope you missed me, because I'm back! -Muwahaha's-cough-Anyways… -Gives Kabuto an icepack- ... That's for your head, the one that's not on your neck.. Ah… Anyways... Orochimaru-sama~?... Aishiteru! -Cough- ... Jiraiya? You're awesome, I love you, and your novels… Yes, I'm a pervert, I it it... Be quiet you! -Point!So, are you all having fun? Sanestinsanepersonever

Kabuto: Ugh, I could’ve used that a while ago…the damage is done now…I guess I’ll keep it for future use… Sakura: -teasingly- If you keep up your usual attitude you’ll need it. Kabuto: you bitch… Sakura: heehee. Orochimaru: -to Itachi- does it creep you out how well they’re getting along now? Itachi: ayup… Orochimaru: …-shudders- Anyway, yes, yes, my club…I have dozens. Jiraiya: Yes! Another loyal reader making my dream reality!! Kurenai: -rolls eyesOro/Zaku and Gaa/Kimi from behind the door: HELL YEAH WE’RE HAVING FUN!! Everyone else: NO WE ARE NOT! Happy New Year!! Sorry Lucifel I just had to write this review! Gomen! Sumimasen! Sakura: Imbecile you didn't answer my question, so instead of getting everyone to save you all we are off the kill you and trust me my friends and I are extremely violent. One of them knows how to kill someone with just one touch isn't that just awesome!! Itachi: Tell him now!! Do it!! He can't kill me!! ... Do you want to know why? Sasori is DEAD. Dead as the Third Hokage! Dead as Asuma! Dead as Gaara's dad! Dead as Gaara's uncle! Dead as Itachi's family! Dead as Sasuke's heart!! Get it! Got it! GOod!

Orochimaru: Can you tell me why you used a purple rope to tie your robe? Not a different color. Not black or anything. Purple. Why does everyone else have to wear it too? I mean even Sas-gay was wearing it! Why must you conform the Sound Village?!? P.S. I couldn't find my keys but I sent you all sake so get drunk and be happy and be ready for the coming of the New Year although me being Chinese don't celebrate New Year until sometime in January... P.S.S. Gaara we decided since you don't want to escape we are going to go to your house to raid all of your stuff… actually we are typing this from your computer. Bye! Akatsuki's Haruno Sakura

Orochimaru: The akatsuki has a Sakura? Itachi: …frappu…ccinos… Orochimaru: Never mind… Zakura: Yeah, that would be awesome if I didn’t already know a dozen different ways… Sakura: I don’t know that many! Zakura: you don’t but I do. Sakura: HOW!? Zakura: I read different articles than you. While you’re reading hair care crap I’m reading the deadly moves segment on the next page… Kiba: …dude, that’s just scary…and totally creepy…and this is coming from a guy who has sex with a bug-filled kid… Shino: -angry twitchItachi: Yeah and? So are Haku, Zabuza and Kimimaro. Death doesn’t mean much right now… Orochimaru: It’s still not like you could tell him… Itachi: -makes ‘w’ sign- Whatever. Gaara –still through door- Whoever just ragged on my dead relations is gonna get their ass whooped and their name on the list! Orochimaru: And purple’s pretty! That’s why! Itachi: See? I’m not the only one with a thing for lavender! Kiba: Yeah but you’re also gay.

Itachi: The fuck are you talking about? You’re gay too!! Kiba: Hey! I’m bi!! Shino: Are you saying you have a problem with being called gay? Kiba: Well…well no it’s just not the whole truth and… Shino: -snort- whatever. Naruto: When…why…was I always the only straight guy in Konoha?! Everyone: -ignoresOrochimaru: It’s not conformity! It’s appreciation of great style! Itachi: …you’re lucky you’re cute when you’re crazy… Orochimaru: -smileKiba: D-do we get the sake? Zakura: DAMN RIGHT we get the Sake! Everyone (even Gaara and Kimi who rush out) WOOHOO!!! Zakura: But not until we finish catching up. Everyone: Awwwwww Gaara: dammit! Ohwellthefrappuccinopoolisopennowifyouguyswannacomeinanddrinkandmaybeevenswi minit!!! Orochimaru: -blinblink- Ok, I did not catch a word that came out of this kid’s mouth. Kimimaro: Hesaidohwellthefrappuccinopoolisopennowifyouguyswannacomeinanddrinkandmaybeev enswiminit!!! Orochimaru: thank you, that helps not at all… Kiba: Its ok, I’m fluent in sugar-high. He said we can go drink from the Frappucino fountain now. Orochimaru: WELL WHY DIDN’T YOU FUCKING SAY SO!?!?!

-Stampede into the pool roomGaara: BeforeIfollowthem:firstofallIdoubtyoucouldhavegottentomyhousesofastsecondIhavedoze nsofsecuritysystemsandshitprotectingmyhousenottomentionKankurooratleastTemariguard ing theplaceandthirdIDON’TEVENOWNACOMPUTERYOUSTUPIDBITCHES!!!! Kiba: Gaara thinks you’re lying about being at his house. Gaara: Damnstraight –rushes back into the pool room-

Ask Sakura 15 We are now broadcasting to you from the side of the frappuccino-filled pool. Everyone somehow got into swimming attire: women in bikinis, men in swim shorts and Jiraiya in a speedo. Sakura please just accept Sasuke is gay. He surrounded by girls all day. Any straight dude would go crazy (especially after checking you out) Itachi why did your clan because they didn't let paint your toenails. You stupid fucking moron. Someone should beat you to fucking death with your fucking leaders fucking spine you fucking pussy. Sorry had to let some anger out. But your still kinda cool Orochimaru burn in hell Dattebayoh

Kurenai: FOR GOD SAKE JIRAIYA! COVER YOURSELF!! Itachi: He is covered…in body hair… Kurenai: -shields eyes- I’ve seen some horrible things but that...that is just… Orochimaru: SEXY!!!! Kurenai: NO!! Jiraiya: -stands proudly to display himselfKiba: wow… Shino: What? Tell me you’re not ogling Jiraiya’s… Kiba: NO!! I was just noticing that Haku really IS a boy… Shino: -looks over at shirtless Haku and has to hide blush behind his cowl- Oh…oh yeah. Orochimaru: See? This kid even has proper REASON as to why Sasuke’s gay! Zakura: Yep, the evidence only grows stronger. Sakura: You’re a disgrace to us!

Zakura: No, I’m lesbian. Itachi: I am more than kinda cool, I fucking rock!! They were trying to suppress me! I bet they wouldn’t have suppressed fucking Sas-gay if he came out!! Zabuza: Bitter are we? Itachi: Of course not… Orochimaru: I AM TOO SMEXY TO BURN!! Zakura: -rolls eyes1) Itachi...Where the fuck is Kisame? 2) Chi-kun...HOW THE FUCK can you deal with emoboy? (Sas-gay) 3) Jiriaya!! Please send me every Icha Icha paradise you have ever written and will write!! -Swirls a lock of her midnight blue hair around her finger, puppy pouting. - Pwease?! Akatsuki's Haruno Sakura

Itachi: Not here, thank the gods. Haku: KWAAA!! There’s a shark in the pool!! Itachi: oh no… -A real shark jumps out of the poolItachi: phew. –Kills shark- Who wants Frapppuccino-flavor shark meat? Everyone: -Disgusted looksItachi: Yeah…I guess I’ll just burn this… Zakura: No need. –Snaps finger and the thing disintegratesGaara: howdidasharkgetinmyfrappuccino? Kiba: Why was there a shark in a swimming pool? Gaara: IJUSTSAIDTHAT Kiba: I was translating!! Gaara: Whatever…dumbmutt Zakura: Don’t know, don’t care. On with the questions so I can continue enjoying the view. –Watches Kurenai bend over to take a drink- meow.

Sakura: …-horrorOrochimaru: by screwing him. Itachi: tried-and-true tactics, those. Orochimaru: Damn straight. Jiraiya: Now, now young lady, you’ll still have to…p-pay…-shakes head- no! Hair has nothing on me! It’s all about the rack! Kurenai: -throws skillet-THUNKJiraiya: -falls into pool and starts drowningItachi: Death by frappuccino…what a way to go. Gaara: IknowhowIwanttodienow… Kiba: That’s Gaara’s ideal death. Gaara: STOPTRANSLATINGEVERYTHINGISAY!!!! Kiba: No one can understand you! Gaara: Suretheycan! Kimimarocan! Kimimaro: damnstraight. Kiba: fine! Whatever. But when you have something important to say don’t expect me to translate for your sorry ass. Zakura: -pulls Jiraiya out of the pool- Now, now, we can’t have any deaths going on here. We can’t disrupt the story-line after all. And Jiraiya and Orochimaru haven’t had their steamy sex scene yet… Orochimaru: SQUEEE!!! 1. You and Sasuke belong together! -sque- Um... hm... quesiton... oh! If Sasuke ever died or anything, who would you go out with? Come on, say someone! 2. Orochimaru, you're not gay, right? Because I am a fan, and so is my sister, so yeah... -shifty eyes3. If you and Sasuke had many babies, what if your boys have... pink Sasuke HAIR? LOL!! -AHEMAnyway, Please respond! - From Ninja Rikoi, aka hm... Narutard No. 15

Sakura: No one right now! Arg!! Naruto: awwww Zakura: I’m betting on a re-bound relationship with Lee…once she accepts Sasuke’s gay and everything. Naruto: Why Lee?! Lee: No! That will happen naturally and when the time comes! We were meant for each other! Naruto: But why Lee?! Gaara: -crushedZakura: Keep dreaming kid, it’s cute. Orochimaru: Well, not technically, no. there are a few women I’d do. Itachi: Any animals? Orochimaru: ummm… Itachi: Are you seriously thinking about this? Orochimaru: Shh! Oh! Kyuubi. Naruto: GAH!! EWWWWWWW!! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO… Itachi: You’re kidding? Orochimaru: nope! Itachi: I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Gaara: -smacks Naruto- Calm down Naruto! Naruto: -stops and sits twitchingHaku: -comforts Naruto- It’s ok. I like you better than Kyuubi. Naruto: -blushblushblushZakura: You’re speaking normally now Gaara?

Gaara: Yeah…-looks at Lee sadlyKimimaro: ? Ita/Oro: -Imagine Sasuke with pink hair- teheehee o yea fink means think, i had my hand in a cast so things went a bit ugly with typing. anyways on with the questions To Itachi who would you rather go with? Ino or Hinata or Neji (WTF?) Dolly2000

Itachi: ooooh, it’s the totally crazy kid. Orochimaru: We have lot of those… Itachi: …yeah that’s true. And DEFINITELY Neji. Not only was he the only boy listed, he’s cute and reminds me of Sasuke a little. Sakura: I didn’t just hear that… Itachi: I think you did. Neji: -thinks- Am I flattered or disgusted? –Eyes Itachi’s six-pack- Definitely flattered… and horny Kimimaro: -sugary twitchHi, I have a question for itachi. Why am i...i mean sasuke so much better, and hotter, and way stronger then you? Also, why do i... i mean sasuke have a way bigger fangirlism then you? 1 more question, how would everyone spell their name without vowels? Mine would be ssk. Do you know who i am? Bye sincerely, Sa... i mean Hillarious Tragedy :):( p.s. if you need another hint, i want to -blank- itachihi,

Itachi: -uncovers blank- It’s Sasuke. Zakura: no, really? Kiba: -looks over Itachi’s shoulder- So it said K—oh dear god. Sakura: W-what? Orochimaru: the word was either “Screw” or “Fuck”. Itachi: The latter.

Orochimaru: thought so. Naruto: Where’s a ladder? Lee: I don’t see one anywhere! Kurenai: -thinks- they can’t really be that dense… Jiraiya: -thinks- why did I pick such a stupid apprentice? Orochimaru: -thinks- teehee, Naruto’s just like Jiraiya was when he was young! Zakura: the best part is, we’re only taking questions from fans, so Sasuke doesn’t count. Moving on! HEY! has anyone seen my sasuke? he ran away with his laptop!wait...THERE HE IS!! (sasuke: what the...Kankuro, why did you have to tell her where i am!?) -squeezes sasuke- YAY!I HAVE MY HOTTIE BACK!(kankuro: oh, HI GAARA! i couldn't find Temari, so i got scared. but, its fun here!) -whispersGaara, your brother is wierd. oh, and never,ever,ever,ever give your brother a bananna nut muffin, got it? that, was the scariest 20 minutes of my life...(sasuke: i can agree with her on that one.) well, TTFN, Hillarious Tragedy

Gaara: YOU GAVE HIM A MUFFIN!? ARE YOU DENSE?! Lee: Oh the atrocities!...what does Kankuro do with muffins? Gaara: -shuddering- Things…horrible things. Huh, I hope Temari’s ok. Zakura: Aaaand, I don’t want to hear any more about it. Sakura-san: 1.Why don't you just learn some cool jutsu so you can BURN OROCHIMARU *glares* and blast a hole through the wall? 2.Have you considered using a power punch on that wall? 3.Can you kill Kabuto-san for me? Yaminah

Sakura: Wouldn’t I love too. And we already discovered that nothing can break us out of this room… Orochimaru: who CARES?! We have a pool full of frappuccino!! Itachi: -moooooanZakura: Of course she won’t kill Kabuto…at least not until she’s gotten in his pants…if that hasn’t happened already. Kabu/Saku: HEY!!

Zakura: juuust makin’ observations… here are your frappacinos, Itachi-sama and Gaara-san! -hands over frappacinos- I know you had so much... I'm guessing NONE OF YOU will seriously injure/kill Sasgay huh? -sighs- I'll probably get Neji to hurt him... -cackles- I like you and Neji as a couple, Sakura-san... But don't worry, the couple's not that common...and Neji is mine anyway. (Neji: I'll use my eight trigrams on you...stupid woman.) LIKE YOU CAN! XP I AM FOREVER LOYAL TO ITACHI-SAMA! I'll be his servant! -cough- Anyways Itachi-sama, um...here's a little album of naughty Sasuke pictures I managed to get... -snickers at the tied up Naruto in the backgroundOrochi-teme...I HATE YOU! BTW, who's the better fuck toy, Kabuto or Sasgay? -HWG

Gaara: Add ‘em to the fountain. –Dumps frappuccinoItachi: -whimpersGaara: -grabs Itachi’s and dumps itKimimaro: WOOHOO!!! Kabuto: I’ve…I’ve never seen Kimimaro so hyper…or happy, for that matter. Orochimaru: Kinda creepy isn’t it? Kabuto: -nod, nodNeji: Since when do I work for some bitch? I wouldn’t hurt Sasuke…I mean, without getting his pants off. Lee: O_o; Neji: What? You didn’t know Sasuke and I had a thing going on? Naruto: Sasuke’s really GAY?! Shikamaru: Wait a minute. How long has this been going on? Neji: On and off for a couple years. I don’t mind saying it: I’m his slut. Shikamaru: …oh. Naruto: hwa? What’s wrong Shikamaru? Shikamaru: …nothing.

Naruto: Ah!! It’s the girl who tied me up and stole…-bluuuush- …ano, the stuff…Eronin left…there… Itachi: You know, I’ll buy that just so I don’t have to think about the alternative… Orochimaru: -nod, nodJiraiya: Hey!! I’m not THAT perverted!! Kurenai: Says the man wearing a speedo with all the coverage of a fanny pack. Jiraiya: -blushGaara: -smirking- But Naruto, I’ve seen those at your house before… Naruto: No you haven’t! Gaara: Oh yes I have. Naruto: NO! Those must have been other albums! Gaara: the ones of kinky Hinata fanart? Naruto: -pales- you saw those? I mean—no! I don’t own that!!! Neji: Can I see? Everyone besides Orochimaru and Itachi: -shock and disgustOrochimaru: What are you guys staring at? Itachi: Yeah, it’s JUST incest…and it’s even only cousins. Rednecks do it all the time. Lee: Rednecks? Itachi: People like Kiba’s family. Kiba: HEY!! Orochimaru: anyway, it’s your funeral, and your name I’m putting on the list. Sasuke, I’d have to say. But honestly, Kimimaro was always the favorite. Kimimaro: HAHA! EatthatKabuto! Kiba: -To Kabuto- He’s shoving it in your face.

Kabuto: I know. Kiba: God, no one appreciates my skills… Yo, many stupid questions upon you... Why hasn't one of you came up with a male version with the sexy technique? i mean seriously now... Itachi... could you smake Oro over the head with an empty frapaccino crate or something... he bleeds smug i think... And who wants a cookie?

Zakura: …Naruto. Naruto: huh? Yeah? Zakura: -super serious tone- Teach me the sexy technique. Naruto: Huh? But Why— Zakura: DO IT. Naruto: gah! Ok! –They go offOrochimaru: Oh please, who would be stupid enough to— -THUDZabuza: Wow…he does. Haku: Kwa! Why would you do that?! Zabuza: -shrugs- Just out of curiosity… Kiba/Lee/Jiraiya/Naruto/Haku/Kimi: OOOOOOH!!! ME! ME!! ME!!! Oh, right! Am I the only one that thinks Sakura and Kabuto look kinda cute together? *snicker* Who you goin out with, Kurenai? If no one, who you got your eye on? Much Respect, Khellan Rafe

Oro/Zaku/Haku: NO! Naru/Lee: YES!!!! Sakura: Eww…that’s just sick and wrong. Kabuto: bleh… Orochimaru: Methinks thou doth protest too little.

Kabuto: That’s not the quote… Orochimaru: I’m not allowed to modify Shakespeare now? Jiraiya: Dude, if quoting/tweaking Shakespeare became illegal, like, everyone in the WORLD would be thrown in jail… Orochimaru: That’s true. But the way you said that statement made you sound remarkable high… Jiraiya: Maybe I am? Orochimaru: Don’t you know? Jiraiya: Not anymore… Kurenai: Right, because it’s totally your business who I’m going out with. Zakura: I am busy getting the damn jutsu learned, don’t make me come over there and force an answer out of you!! Kurenai: -sigh- fine…-mumblesItachi: C’mon, Kurenai… Kurenai: Your mom. Itachi: That’s mature, and she’s dead. Zakura: So you’re lesbian!? YES!!! Kurenai: NO! Godammit I’m not going out with anyone! Zakura: W00T! Lesbian! Itachi: So who you got your eye on? Kurenai: ……………………..Gai. Everyone: …WHAAAAAAAT?! Kurenai: what?! He’s a strong, funny, sexy man!! Jiraiya: I’m shocked and appalled.

Kurenai: Much like the world when it saw you in a speedo. Itachi: buuurn. Orochimaru: You know that whole, “much respect” thing? Yeah…I don’t think he’s gonna mean it anymore. Kurenai: Oh shut up you. First, the questions: 1) Haku-chan, why are you so damn wonderful? 2) Gaara-sama, if I gave you frappacinos (spelled horribly wrong) would you kill some people for me? 3) Kurenai-senpai- is Anko single? If she is, would you tell her I’m madly in love with her? ANY FOLLOWING QUESTIONS NEED NOT BE ANSWERED, I JUST WANTED TO RAMBLE BECAUSE IT’S 4:36 AM AND I DUN WANNA GO TO BED. SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK. And now that that’s out of the way, I should probably shut up. But I don’t care. Because I love you all in varying degrees of lurffleness. The only people I don’t really like is...erm... probably Gaara’s daddeh, Haku’s daddeh, Sasuke (sorry, Sakura-san, he’s just a loser without proper priorities), and Yashamaru. Fortunately they’re all dead besides Sasuke. Oh well. Kabuto, you rule even if your name means beetle. Lee is simply awesome. Shino... I actually sort of don’t like you because I think you’re kind of arrogant, but that’s just me being picky. Is Temari a lesbian? Because if she’s not, that’s me depressed. Is Neji gay? He should be. Gaara should love him, because they’d be pure beauty together. I happen to like Kankuro’s makeup!! Kakashi and Iruka should get married. Itachi-sama, I really think I should hate you. But- I don’t. Orochimaru... damn there are a lot of haters out there!! (I didn’t just say that...) I bet you could do GREAT things with that tongue. I would give you my soul for porn, but I don’t have it anymore, someone else owns it now. Hinata should be here, she’s adorable. Zabuza...you should have realized you loved Haku before you got killed. Make very sure that you make up for it now. Kimimaro’s not here...*whimpers* I would the Akatsuki, if I could, my friend and I. By now, you probably think I’m too nuts. Oh well. This letter’s too long, isn’t it? Sorry. I’m very bored. Oh, did I mention my friends and I are all going to dress up as you guys for Halloween? (I know it’s a long way off, humor me). The friend who’s going as Orochimaru happens to love you, Orochi, so very much. She’s not your typical fangirl...she’s twisted, demented, vampiric, and scary. Her name is Ashes and she hates it when people compare you to Michael Jackson. Most of my other friends are fans. Brianna is obsessed with Kakashi and Shikamaru, and Marvealle adores Gaara, but not enough to stalk him. Just loves him. (I guess it‘s because she looks like him...pale, with fluffy red hair). Sadly, so does her boyfriend. Sand Coffin him for me? He’s freaky and in my way. Kabuto, you mentioned in Ch. eleven that you’ve never gotten gifts before...unfortunately, I don’t know what to get you...so I got you a set of ribbons. Why? Because I have long hair too and I like to put ribbons in it. If you don’t like it, just say so. I won’t get offended and I’ll replace it with something I do want. Get a life, you say? A life? That sounds positively great...what site can I that from?? It’s now 5 AM. It’s January third! Happy late New Year, even if all it’s been is sucky so far. I wish I could you guys in where ever it is you are. It looks like oodles of fun, mostly because I’m perverted. Too bad you don’t have the swimming pool anymore, I love water. Well, it’s 5:21 AM now and I need to at least pretend I’m asleep when my family gets up. Love, donuts, cheese and sammiches, Arashi of the Red Scarf. P.S. this letter is 631 words long.

Everyone: -twitch- wtf? Kurenai: WHY wasn’t this edited? Zakura/Lucifel: BECAUSE IT’S FUCKING HILARIOUS!!!!! Lucifel: The parts in bold are the parts I’m gonna reference so you might wanna look at ‘em. Gaara: I think I’m in love a little.

Itachi: Seriously? Gaara: Yeah, she’s like, completely in love with me but not in that annoying “please fuck me I wanna be your servant” way. Oro/Ita: That’s annoying? Orochimaru: Shit, I just though it was cute. Itachi: Nothing like bitches to stroke your ego all day… Gaara: -rolls eyes- AND she’s ragging on the bastards who hurt me. Plus she doesn’t hate on Kankuro and is…in love with…Temari? Damn. Jiraiya: YAY! KINKY LESBIANS!! Kurenai: -throws skilletJiraiya: -dodges- aha! I have learned my lesson woman! Skillet: -boomerangs back and hits Jira from behindJiraiya: -moaning from the floor- I still have much to learn. Zabuza: So, why ask Haku what makes him so wonderful when I can tell you even better? Haku: -giggleZabuza: He’s gorgeous, sweet, innocent, kind to and understanding of me on a level no one else could be, he’s completely willing to do anything for me… Everyone: Awwww. Zabuza: And is a fucking AMAZING lay. Everyone: =O Zabuza: What? Haku: -blushing- teehee. Gaara: For you, sure. As long as I don’t know ‘em personally and they’d be either an easy kill or a fun fight. Just dump ‘em in with the rest…

Itachi: Of your kills? Gaara: No, into the frap fountain. Itachi: You put CORPSES in the frap fountain? Gaara: Are you ok? Itachi: Maaaaybe. Gaara: … Kurenai: Actually, yes, Anko is single. And she’s actually pretty loose so if nothing else you have a shot of getting in bed with her. Jiraiya; REALLY?! Anko’s a slut? Kurenai: No, just not picky. And also, she’s lesbian. Jiraiya: Aw dammit. Zakura: HEY! I’m single too!! Gaara: And I think Temari’s bi. Actually, positive. She was talking after the chunin exams about asking Tenten out… Neji: Who’s Tenten? Lee: Didn’t we already go over that?! Neji: Yeah but I forget… Lee: -twitch- HOW?! Neji; It probably wasn’t important enough for my lovely ears to hear… Lee: -shockGaara: Love Neji, No. Fuck him, yes. Neji: Wanna go to the back? –Gestures doorItachi: Technically that’s the front. Neji: Whatever.

Gaara: And no, not now. Sorry. Neji: Eh, well, whenever you feel like it. Lee: WHEN DID YOU BECOME A SLUT?! Neji: When WASN’T I a slut? I have issues, man, I’ve got to deal with ‘em… Itachi: And is she kidding? Too nuts? That’s the whole freaking POINT of the Akatsuki! I mean our whole damn plot is to— -SPOILER BLOKAGE- Yes, Lucifel really knows their plot, but I don’t wanna ruin it for anyone…Itachi: I mean, COME ON. Orochimaru: SO you’ll let her ? Itachi: Fuck no. Kabuto: So. Sakura: no! Keep ‘em! They’re cute. Kabuto: -hands her the ribbons- all yours. Sakura: yay! –Ties them in Kabuto’s hairKabuto: -_- Oh joy. Haku: ME NEXT! ME NEXT! Naru/Lee/Kiba/Saku/Shika/Jira/Shin/Zaku/LUCIFEL: NONONONONONONONONO!!! KAKASHI/IRUKA MUST NEVER BE!!! NEVERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! Orochimaru: I really don’t care. Anyone can fuck anyone and if they’re even a little sexy and I’m watching, I’ll be happy. Itachi: You are WAY too horny. Orochimaru: You really think so? Itachi: Nah. Dear Sakura, This question is for Kabuto, Will you please go out with me! Please! ~Rose P.S. I'm not a crazed obsessed fangirl...maybe...

Kabuto: Uhm…hmm, lemme think. …think, think…NOPE. Sakura: You don’t have be so cruel, asshole. Kabuto: Yes I do. Zakura: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! I CAN NOW SEXY-JUTSU!! Gaara: Naruto…what have you done? Naruto: I-I’m sorry…I didn’t realize what I was creating… Zakura: -sexy jutsusKurenai/Sakura: -NOSEBLEEDJiraiya: Oh, if that’s not sweet payback nothing is… Itachi: …well damn, Sakura makes a pretty hot guy. Zakura: Why thank you. Orochimaru: Wanna do it? Zakura: -poofs back- NO! Orochimaru: Awww. Zakura: So, Kurenai…what’d you think? Kurenai: You’re sick and perverted and the male you is sexy. Zakura: -happy smirk(Hands over 5lbs of baby spring lettice mix; .5lbs each of water cress, sliced almonds, mandarin oranges, cucumber slicesgreen peper and mushroom slices; 5 lbs of grilled shredded chicken; plastic forks and bowls and assorted salad dressing) Sakura it sucks to love someone and have them not be the best for you "hugs" you can't help who you love, only what you do about it. You will be "strong and beautifull." Anyway What was going on in the chummin exams when you told Ino you would show her hell? It was a great deffense... can it be used offensively? kazster

Kabuto: -gasp- please let me keep the salad!!

Zakura: Sure whatever, what would you use it for? Kabuto: EATING! Zaku/Kiba/Naru: GROSS. Sakura: Aww, this guy’s is so sweet. Kabuto: Aww, this guy’s is so delusional. Sakura: Shut up, you. Kabuto: Make me. Sakura: Maybe I will. Orochimaru: Ok, NO! You two flirting is CREEPY!! Kabu/Saku: What?! NO! We’re not flirting!! Itachi: Bull shit. Would Naruto and Lee be looking all depressed if you weren’t? Naru/Lee: -crushedSakura: …hmpf. Zakura: Not yet, but I’m sure as hell trying it as soon as we get out. Hi, me sasuke. If you didn't figure out i am ssk, you're all worthless...ESPECIALLY YOU ITACHI!-attempts to kill itachi--fails-Damn!-sulks in cornerHey, me your fave H T! sorry, sasuke was bored. but um, itachi, your pretty lucky to be there. i made the mistake of letting him train in my room. he almost broke through my wall twice! and um (kankuro: oh, more muffins!) No Kankuro dont!(kankuro:-eats muffin- ...SQUUE!) RUN!(Sasuke: NOT AGAIN!!) does any of you peoples have coca cola? we need it, BAD!! Well, TTFN from H T and Sasuke

Itachi: Ahh, what would this story be without H T? Orochimaru: A lot less annoying? Sakura: Quite…poor Sasuke. Lucifel: I like hilarious Tragedy! You guys suck! Lee: Gah! I do not! Gaara: Do not what?

Lee: Suck! Gaara: -mumbles- Ain’t that the sad truth… Lee: W-what? Gaara: Oh, ah nothing… Itachi: Anyway, I better find a way to console my brother… Orochimaru: Or I’ll just screw him. Itachi: Same thing. Jiraiya: What do you mean by that…? Itachi: I’m gonna have to outright say it sooner or later, shall I now? Jiraiya: Please…spare me a little longer. Itachi: Ok then. Gaara: SHIT!! Kankuro’s on a muffin-rage again!! We need to save them! Itachi: Are you for serious? Gaara: YES!! Itachi: …omg. Itachi and gaara should fill the empty pool with frappachino. Saskuretsu

Itachi: WHY?! Why do they torment me?! Gaara: We did…and this is the happiest time of my entire life. –Forgets saving Sasuke and H. T. in order to be happy about frappucinos…...Shino has hazel eyes...don't ask To Kurenai-san:How have you survived this long? Haku-san:*blinks* er...can I have one of your needels? Sakura-san: How come ur not knocked out on the floor foaming from the mouth already? Whatthehellwasithinkin

Shino: When did I say otherwise? Orochimaru: Chapter eight.

Shino: I don’t that… Orochimaru: -ahem-“Shino: -Looks up from album- huh? Oh. Black. –Goes back to it-” Shino: oh please, I was looking at an album of Sasuke in drag. I wasn’t paying attention! I though they were asking my favorite color or something. Kiba: The truth is, he wears sunglasses so much even HE forgets the color of him eyes… Shino: that’s not true! Kiba: -raises eyebrowsShino: Ok…it’s true. Kurenai: -looking twitchily at Shino- I honestly don’t know. Jiraiya: She’s been living off of my sexiness. -THUNKOrochimaru: -looking at crumpled Jiraiya- You’re gonna give him brain damage... Kurenai: If he had a brain to damage. Orochimaru: True. Haku: Why do you want a needle? Shino: drug addict, probably. Orochimaru: You would know. Shino: no I wouldn’t. If I put any crap directly into my veins I’d kill the bugs. Kiba: But in his lungs is ok. Shino: Right…-re Kurenai- wait, NO! Kurenai: you are in SO much trouble when we get out of here. Sakura: Pure luck…probably. Why don't you use Inner Sakura more often? I mean, what's the point of her if she's not a jutsu?

Zakura: Oh, I was always just a split personality. I’m pretty damn awesome though, ain’t I? Orochimaru: Hell yeah. Bec-Yo...sakura...Uh...what was i gonna ask you...oh!...Sakura why do you suck so much? Bel-Hey!sakura is coler then your face. Bec-Fuck you loser. John-Orochimaru...Do you wear make-up? Bec-No fucking dur he wears make-up John-Shut-up! John-I was asking him. Bec-...why...orochimaru is stupid.. Bel-ITS ITACHI! Bec-WTF He's GAY. Bel-...Oh. HinataXNaruto9403

Saku/Lee/Naru: I (sakura) don’t (doesn’t) suck!!!! Kabuto: Nah, she’s too much of a prude. Gaara: Already done that joke. Kabuto: Dammit. Sakura: It wouldn’t take much to be cooler than your face…-grumbleOrochimaru: Actually, I don’t. I’m naturally ridiculously pale and the purple eye-liner is tattooed on. Jiraiya: Heh, he’s like the ultimate Kiss fan. Orochimaru: -glares- Burn fucker… Jiraiya: Sorry. Orochimaru: -snuggles- Aww, its ok. <3 Jiraiya: -twitchItachi: I can not even follow that conversation… Orochimaru: now you know how our readers feel…

Itachi: We have readers? Orochimaru: I don’t think so…why? Itachi: wtf? Okay i have dares for everyone! Oro- OMG! I LOVE YOU AND YOUR TOUNGE AND YOUR THEME SONG! You can have my soul and everything! oh yeah almost forgot... (hands over never-before seen pics of Sasuke...in a speedo) Your dare is to lick Kabuto's chest you smexy man! Jiraiya- um...oh...(evil grin) CUT YOUR HAIR TO GAARA'S LENGTH! MUAHAHAHA! Haku- hee...hee! Dress up like a bunny! Kurenai- did you pick dare or truth? Well I’m doing dare for you so ha! Okay i dare you to...touch Shino's chest! Since he's your student it'll make it creepier! Zabuza- Pretend that you are Inuyasha just for a second... Kiba- take off your jacket...my friend is drooling beside me as i type this... Orochimaru-sama let me know if you want more pics of Sasuke. I have a reliable source... anything for you!!

Jiraiya: B-but we already DID dares… Zakura: Do I look like I care? Jiraiya: yes? Zakura: Get your damn eyesight checked. At least I cut out some… Jiraiya: -whimperOrochimaru: Aw, thanks. –Licks Kabuto’s chest from across the poolSakura: O.o EWWWWW!!!! Kabuto: -blushKimimaro: I though I was your favorite!! Orochimaru: -licks Kimi too- You are. Kimimaro: :3 Orochimaru: OOH!! You can see his cute little package! Itachi: Lemmesee! Lemmesee!

Ita/Oro: -giggle over the picturesJiraiya: I can’t! I refuse! -SNIPZakura: Too late. –Holds up Jiraiya’s cut hairJiraiya: NOOOOO!!! Orochimaru: Oh damn, now only Tsunade has long hair out of us three. Meanwhile: Tsunade: -sneezes while trimming her hair and slips- O.O NOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Back in the room: Haku: -is in a bunny costume. - Teehee! It’s like Halloween! Zabuza: -leaning in- Do you want trick or treat? Haku: -giggle- both. Zabuza: -dirty smileKurenai: -pokes Shino’s chest- And? Kiba: -jealousZabuza: -looks up from Haku- What do you think I do EVERY FREAKING TIME I swing my sword? Gaara: Are you serious? Zabuza: Damn straight! Everyone: … Kiba: Umm…so long as you don’t use it to wipe up the drool…-takes off hoodieShino: -wavers in his resolve not to jump Kiba until Kiba apologizes for being meanSakura: Oh wow…I mean, uh… Lee: You look much more youthful!!

Kiba: Greeeeat… Orochimaru: If you have any of him as a cat-boy, that’d be great! Itachi: Oooh, hell yeah! Naruto: Nooo!! Yaoi is bad enough, but bestiality! Itachi: Don’t pretend like Kyuubi doesn’t fuck your brain. Naruto: o.O 1: Sakura-pyon, why do you think gaara likes you?? AND NO REFUSING GAARA, I SAW U EYEING HER!! 2: gaara, if you and Sakura dont hit it off, WILL U BE MY BF?!?! PLZ!! (gives him a teddy) 3:Sakura, If Sasuke-kun did turn out gay, wich i hope he doesnt, would you think baout gaara? They are similar!! and hes REALLY cute as a chibi!! 4:itachi-kun!! I LUV U!! anyway, If someone gave you a free frap when ever you wanted one, would you do Sakura?!?!IM SRRY SAKURA-PYON!! I HAD TO ASK!!

Sakura: …-gagZakura: Well, maybe me because I’m so badassedly awesome. Gaara: No! This kid’s mistaken! You were probably just standing next to Lee or something! –Gasps, claps hand over mouth and goes to drown his embarrassment in more frappuccinoItachi: I doubt Gaara will be your bf…he’s already got one after all. Gaara: -moping- besides…I’m not loveable or anything…-goes to a cornerOrochimaru: Uh-oh, something’s wrong with Gaara. Naruto: Oh…I’ll talk to him. Orochimaru: No, let Kimimaro do it. Kimimaro: What?! Why me? Orochimaru: Because he probably won’t tell Naruto anything because Naruto knows everyone else to well. You’re an unrelated party. Kimimaro: But I don’t know how to give advice or anything!

Orochimaru: Doesn’t matter, let him talk. He never talks, I’m sure he’d appreciate it if someone let him. Naruto: I let him talk… Orochimaru: You don’t count. Naruto: Why not?! Orochimaru: You just don’t, now, Kimi, off with you. Kimimaro: -warily- Ok… Sakura: What is all this bull about me and Gaara? Itachi: Orange you glad they didn’t say Lee or Naruto? Sakura: Wtf? Itachi: Bad parody of a joke…please continue. Sakura: well, anyway, Gaara’s definitely not my type…sorry. Zakura: Too bad he’s not a chick, he’s intriguing. Itachi: And to answer my question…NO WAY IN HELL!! Moving on! Zakura: Hey! I’m the bitch in charge! Moving on! Kiba good news i saved Akamaru from the clutches of those girls! He is here with me and no ribbons! Here take him he misses you! (hands over Akamaru)But i also have bad news...he is acting like a female dog i'm sorry. But bring him back to normal! And rescue team is on pause right now due to traffic. But they'll be here! someday... and Gaara since you love bears here (hands over bear that looked like his old one) bought it for you. Itachi i bought you Tresseme! Like it? oh and can't forget nail polish! Orochimaru-sama! I brought you ten albulms of never before seen pics of Sasuke! Can i be your slave! Or at least lick me! Kabuto- um...i brought you skittles? Jiraiya: I like you for two reasons only: 1. You're funny when Naruto transformes into a girl. 2. ? Uh...your a sennin? That's it! That i like you that's it! No gifts other than that! Kurenai- Chocolate! woman can never have enough! am i right sister? Zabuza- The movie 'Chainsaw Massacre' Haku- A VERY big hug! ek! Shino- a caterpillar? um... Sakura- A letter from Sasuke. DO NOT LET OTHER PEOPLE READ IT! well accept for Orochimaru-sama of course. Kabuto oh i wanted to ask. What's with the pony tail? I'd think you were hot if you cut it off. Geez you're weird. anyway bye again! Starfaya967

Kiba: Oh…oh thank god…Akamaru… Shino: Where is he? Zakura: At Kiba’s house. We don’t want doggy messes all over the place. Kiba: But…he’s house-trained… Zakura: I don’t care. Kiba: -mopeGaara: -takes bear and snuggles it, sniffling into itKimimaro: -walks up- … -sits- … … Itachi: SQUEEE!! Hair care! Nail polish!! YAY!!! We can finish doing our nails now!! Haku/Oro/Ita: -go to a corner to put on nail polishOrochimaru: OOOH!! Yay!! Come look with me Itachi! -Starfaya, you will be feeling something wet on your tummy about…nowKabuto: …I don’t eat candy. –Hands to SakuraSakura: Um, I don’t really want them either… Haku: YEE! Skittles! –Runs over, grabs them, thanks Sakura, and dashes back to the nail-painting partyJiraiya: Why do so many people not like me?! I have more haters than Itachi! Itachi: Maybe you should be sexy. –Sticks out tongueJiraiya: But I am! –Shows off Speedo-People die in horror, no one special, just random people, everyone else throws upKurenai: Thank god for chocolate to help the trauma… Itachi: Can I— Kurenai: GRRRRRR

Zabuza: W00T! Gratuitous violence!! We gotta watch it! Zakura: yeah, yeah, in a bit… Haku: Yay! I got hugged!! Everyone: So…cute… Shino: -caterpillar crawl on the edge of his glasses- Cool. Sakura: WOW!! YAAAY!! The letter: Hey Sakura. I’m in love with a man, fucking Neji, and Orochimaru’s sex-slave. Please, please, PLEASE don’t try to save me. I’ll like you more if you don’t. Bye, Sasuke Orochimaru: -snerrrrkSakura: -twitch, twitchKabuto: you ok? Sakura: F-fine…-crumples paperOrochimaru: at any rate, I think Kabuto’s ponytail is cute. Kabuto: And thus, I keep it. HI *waves* Orochimaru and Itachi, why don't you two get together? YOu're both psychopaths...! I laugh at you all...and...BYE *waves* Sharingan Princess

Everyone: -waves backItachi: Why did we just do that? Kurenai: I don’t know, and don’t care…I have chocolate… Itachi: … Orochimaru: Itachi, the princess brings up a very good point.

Itachi; Oh, she does, we can’t really argue with that can we? Orochimaru: Definitely not. To the front room? Itachi: Indeed. -They march offEveryone: … Kabuto: HEY!! Jiraiya: -shuddersShino: And the worst part is, they’ll both be imagining Sasuke in a dress. Jira/Naru: DON’T SAY THAT!!! Neji: But I’m sure it’s true! Jiraiya: -plugs ears- I don’t CARE!! Naruto: …I gotta wash my brain… How come you vowed to become stronger after the Chuunin exams, but then didn't get off your sorry ass until after the Sasame arc? Seriously, you can't afford to procrastinate in trying to be a better ninja. Unlucky Amulet

Kiba: You had a whole story arc about Sesame seeds? Sakura; NO! Sasame was the name of a girl whom we had to help out. But that never happened. It was filler. Ignore it. I really went straight to Tsunade. I would never procrastinate. Zakura: Except about telling people how she feels. Sakura: But Sasuke always knew! Zakura: -eyes Kabuto- Ok, Sakura, whatever makes you happy… Sakura: ? Zakura: Anyway, that’s it…time to get drunk and watch chainsaw massacre. One Last Note from the Author on This Obnoxiously Long Update Even Though you’re Probably Sick of This By Now.

OH MY GOD I’M CAUGHT UP!!!!!! ISN’T IT AMAZING?! Now, I know by the time you read this, I’ll probably have already gotten a lot of reviews for chapter 13 and 14, but that’s cool. I’ll still be caught up at that point. So, I’m taking editing very seriously. Ignoring repeated questions (unless I can make a joke out of it) and cutting out excess of letters, (unless, like the super-long one, I really like it. Of course, I don’t encourage long letters. At ALL. I’ll only post long ones if they make me laugh, really loud. Thanks Arashi) really helped me stay focused and enjoy writing this. Also, new schedule: I’m gonna update every weekend, answering as many questions has I got that week regardless of if it’s two or twenty. (So YOU dictate the length of updates) I currently don’t have a problem with where it’s going, but I’m really paranoid about it getting stale. If anyone has some ideas on how to keep it fresh and exciting I’d love to hear them. I’m already adding a bit more plot, which will be explored thoroughly in coming chapters. Ok, lastly I love you all to death and hope this almost month-long hiatus hasn’t made me loose too many fans. I would like to make direct thanks to everyone who has followed and reviewed this story, and without playing favorites, I’d especially like to thank I Have an Alter Ego, Khelen Rafe, Kryah, Hilarious Tragedy, Sarafina the Ninja Goddess, Whatthehellwasithinkin, Starfaya967, and Hilarious Tragedy, for making me laugh when I read your reviews which keeps me able to make you guys laugh, and being ive when I took my break, but hounding me to continue so I know someone’s enjoying my story. And special thanks to Torn Yorick, for being so freaking hilariously inspiring. With out T.Y. there would be no Ask Sakura. Give her a hug. I can’t believe I’ve only been writing this for…less than a month. I hope you guys stick with me to the end. My goal is to make this last for a year, please help me pull through with it! I’ll see you next weekend!!!

Ask Sakura 16 A list of those currently captured: Sakura Zakura Orochimaru Itachi Kabuto Jiraiya Kiba Shino Kurenai Haku Zabuza Gaara Lee Neji Naruto Kimimaro Shikamaru Now, on with the show: The scene: Setting up the party… Zakura: Dammit! This wasn’t supposed to start until we were all wasted! Sakura: Oh well, too late now. Haku, take a break from planning and set up while Z and I start answering more questions. Haku: Oh, ok!! –Bounces over and starts setting up tablesZabuza: Oh thank god… Zakura: Since when are we co-hosts? Sakura: Let’s just get on with it, ne? Zakura: Whatever, bitch, but I’ve still got final say.

Ita/Oro: -Come back in looking flushed and satisfiedJira/Naru: -twitch1) Lucifel of I should call you Lucifer for your doing to these homo's and 3 regular people. Add Neji in the parody that will make interesting 2)inner Sakura why are you a violent bitch I mean regular Sakura's cool but you need to take some friken drugs to calm you down 3)Sakura how did you end up in a room controlled by a yaoi fan girl. Would you rape Sasuke if you desperate enough and go out with Itachi to possibly maybe make Sasuke jealous. Or do what most girls do and put a mind control device on him. Stop acting so like a good person and adjust to the perverted atmosphere. Hold on the fanboys are starting the war to get you out charge! Saskuretsu

Lucifel: I’m Lucifel, for sure. The fallen one before he/she fell. it, bitches. Bwuhahahah Lee: Such an…evil…voice… Naruto: gah!! There’s one here too?! Sakura: You can hear her too Naruto? Naruto: -vigorous noddingLee: This must be a sign, Sakura-san!! We’re all attuned to the same thing! We are destined for each other! Naruto: All three of us? Lee: …um… Sakura: You know we’re all probably just crazy… Kabuto: -nodsSakura: -smacks (gently)Zakura: I’m on drugs all the time. Jiraiya: Weed doesn’t count. Zakura: Oh… Sakura: You can’t be on weed! I never smoke! Zakura: that’s what you think. Anyway, we’re killing this bitch when we get out.

Sakura: No! He’s been overall really nice and ive! Zakura: Nope, he’s dying. Sakura: -_Lee: Ne…Sakura. You’re doing better now? Sakura: Oh, yeah, I’m doing ok. I realized with all her talking Zakura really doesn’t know anything about my real emotions. She can’t mess with MY head. Zakura: What about the letter Sasuke sent you? Sakura: It was…forged? Zakura: Yeah sure… Kiba: I wanna know who this guy he’s “in love” with is. Ita/Oro/Neji: Me. Shikamaru: -scoffs- So troublesome… Jiraiya: But he put Orochimaru and Neji in there in a different way. Itachi: So it’s me. Jira/Kabu/Kiba/Naru/Lee/Saku: YOU’RE HIS BROTHER!! Itachi: Aaaaaand? Sakura: Anyway, about Lucifel. I just wanted somebody to get this out to my fans…if I had known Lucifel’s true intentions… Kurenai: Who is this Lucifel person? Lee/Naru: The voice!! Sakura: -nods- She came to me while I was reading Ino’s column and said she could help me try to fight back and get more fans but…I didn’t know…Damn you Lucifel!! Lucifel: Yeah. Kind of the queen of the damned. Lee: At least this time we understand who the voice is… Naruto: I don’t care! It’s still creepy! We gotta find her!

Lee: Yosh! -They start searching, in a comically ridiculous manner, bouncing around and making zipping sounds, y’know…Sakura: To address the last question; No! I have higher standards than the rest of the people in this room! Kurenai: Ahem. Sakura: And Kurenai. I wouldn’t do any of that! Zakura: But I have the mind-controlling device ready and everything… Sakura: …-sweat drop- R-really? Zakura: Hah! You see? You DO have a perverted side to you! Sakura: Yes! And it’s YOU! Zakura: …that’s a good point. Itachi: Why did you fuck Sasuke? Sakura: Why don't you just get with Itachi? He is hot and he is Sasuke's older brother making him better! He has more everything. Boredwithlifeandlove

Sakura: …but you didn’t… Itachi: hmm? Jiraiya: You didn’t…did you? Itachi: Oh, the question. Well, because he’s so irresistibly adorable and cute especially when I’m pinning him down in an alleyway and he’s trying to break free but eventually succumbs to me and lets me have my way with him. He really likes it in the end, always comes first. Sakura: -HORROROrochimaru: mmmm, I love it when he struggles. Jiraiya: …But you haven’t actually fucked him… Itachi: -rolls eyes- of course not… Jiraiya: -phew-

Sakura: Itachi’s WAY too perverted for me! Zakura: If he was a girl, I’d totally do him. Sakura: NO!! Zakura: YES! Orochimaru: Was Sasuke ever on top? Have you ever considered a SasuOroKabu threesome? Ugh...I can't believe you have a club called Orochi's Bitches!! Creepy... You manwhore!! First Kabuto, then Sasuke, and then Jiraiya?! Shame. Kabuto: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU OROCHIMARU'S BITCH?!?!?!?! I know you like Sakura. -raises eyebrows suggestivelyHaku: What's the theme for the wedding? Can I get an invite? Naruto: Sasuke on top, or you on top? -Glint- Because a fellow schoolmate of mine (who I must mention is a SasuNaru fangirl) was telling me about 'details' involving candle wax, kunais, blood, and fingers and yeah... Neji: I knew it!! I knew you liked Sasuke! Is Sasuke on top? Goodbye! -Grin-HWG

Orochimaru: Never. He was BORN for uke. Itachi: -nods in agreementNeji: seriously? He’s usually on top of me. Orochimaru: Must be why he likes fucking you. Makes him feels less…whimpy. Zakura: Hey! No jumping questions! Sakura: I would much rather get this over with quickly…just do whatever. Zakura: Damn you! I’m the boss!!! Sakura: Fine! Let’s just move ON! Kabuto: What is this motherfucker on about? I’m completely in love with Orochimaru… Kimimaro: -glances over at Kabuto but keeps sitting next to the mopey GaaraZakura: Ne, Haku! What’s your wedding’s theme?! Haku: Snow!!! :3 Zakura: Figures…

Haku: And Bunnies!!! Zabuza: Haku… Haku: I’m kidding, Zabuza-san. –Kisses ZabuzaZabuza: -relieved…and turned onHaku: -while Zabuza starts holding him and kissing him…- and of COURSE you can come to the wedding. You may not be planning it, but all the fans are welcome! Zabuza: -twitch- What? Naruto: -reads- I didn’t want to know that!! NASTY!! I’m straight I tell you! STRAIGHT!! I’ll screw around with Sasuke when Ero-sennin stops peeping on young girls!! Shikamaru: At least someone isn’t in Sasuke’s pants… Itachi: Don’t feel bad if you haven’t gotten any Sasuke lovin’ yet. Neither has Sakura! Sakura: So?! I’m waiting until he comes for me! Orochimaru: He ‘comes’ for me every night. Itachi: Nice. –High fivesZakura: As much as I would LOVE to hear about your many disgusting manly escapades, -gags- we’re going on to the next question. DAMMIT SASUKE! RUN AWAY AGAIN AND I WILL KILL YOU! sasuke: one, i would LOVE to see you try. two, why am i still here? um, oh yeah. i let you go out once a week. sasuke: ... if i left i would be out every day. well, yeah, but i got rid of my doors and windows! sasuke: oh yeah. and the walls are solid concrete. why did you have to uchiha proof them? cuz i cant trust you! and its fun to annoy you! oh, that reminds me, i am giving you all presents!! WOO!! sasuke: i am leaving. oh yeah! i also put this thingy on your ankle and if you are gone longer then a day, it will automatically make you fly back to the house! sasuke: what the- dammit! i really hate fangirls... kay! now to the presents!

for sakura, i give you a sasuke plushie! I am also giving you this photo album of me sasuke on a vacation! sasuke is the one usually strapped to a chair. for itachi, i give you nail polish in every shade of purple! even lavender! for kurenai, i give you, a brand new skillet! it has spikes ^_^ for gaara, i give you um, do you want kankuro? he is bugging the shit outta me. for everyone else, i give you GIANT COOKIES! kankuro: doyoulikemountiandew?ilikemountiandew!yay!mountiandew!sugarsugarSUGAR!!yay! kankuro!! get out of my mountian dew before i get my flame thrower!! kankuro:FLAME THROWER SCARY! GAARA, SAVE ME! baby...

Orochimaru: Poor Sasuke. Itachi: What he needs right now is a good lay. Orochimaru: Rock-paper-scissors you for it. Itachi: Deal. -ROCK PAPER SCISSORS!!Orochimaru: -scissorsItachi: -rock- WOOHOO!!! Orochimaru: maaaaan. Jiraiya: But you’re not really gonna go do that are you?… Itachi: Of course not. Permission to leave for an hour, Zakura-sama? Zakura: Permission granted, but you better not go anywhere but to Hilarious Tragedies’ place, and only because I want to make people squirm. If you miss out on your share of the sake it’s not my fault. Lucifel: I concur with this plan. Itachi: Deal. Thank you. –he poofs away… Jiraiya: He’s not really gonna go do it. Everyone else: -rolls eyes-

Sakura: Right, because I really want this album!! Geez! Zakura: See, you could have sworn there. Sakura: But I didn’t want to. Zakura: God, you’re a boring bitch. Sakura: whatever…-hides Sasuke PlushieOrochimaru: Yee!! I’ll just…keep the nail polish until itachi returns. Zakura: no, actually I forgot to mention all of Itachi’s gifts are forfeit until he returns. -Nailpolish disappearsOrochimaru: Aww, dammit. Kurenai: -Examines skillet- Oh, fun, this opens up lots more possibilities. Jiraiya: I’ve got some possibilities in mind. Kurenai: -bashes Jiraiya’s head- yay! Double damage! Gaara: no…Kankuro probably hates me too…-mope, whine etcKimimaro: …-pats Gaara’s shoulderEveryone else: YAY COOKIES!!! –cookies are devoured in .2 secondsKiba: Wow, I’m realllllly glad Gaara didn’t want to bring Kankuro here… Shino: -the only one eating his cookie slowlyHaku: I have everything set up, but we need food! Wow! New characters! (Gives an infinite food generator, which, unbeknownst to Zakura, contains 137 paper bombs for when Zakura inevitably confiscates it). Q1: Shikamaru, I know how it feels to be smart and cripplingly unmotivated. Now that Sakura's mind has literally been torn in half, have you yet calculated how long before you lose your sanity from a total absence of other smart people? Q2: Naruto, I know it's hard to be with so many gay people. But did you know that many of them (like Orochimaru, the least likely to care what your orientation is) have already expressed disinterest in you? That's probably a good thing. Q3: Zakura, how friggin' sweet was it back in the Chuunin prelims when you pwned Ino right out of Sakura's mind? You saw that look she gave Sakura afterwards! The fear of somebody they believe to be truly mad! Avatarjk137

Haku: -sets up food generator- Never mind! The party can start! Zakura: BREAK OUT THE SAKE!!! Kimimaro: ano…Gaara, do you want me to get you some sake? Gaara: sure…getting drunk sound like a good idea. Kimimaro: -goes to get sakeZakura: Shikamaru, someone asked you a question. Shikamaru: -is sipping sake- And I decided it was too troublesome to answer. Zakura: What was that? You want me to revert your brain to that of a three-year-olds? Shikamaru: -scowl- …Never. I don’t go crazy. –drinks more deeplyNaruto: -looks at comment- That’s a relief…I can get drunk without worry now!!! –goes to drinkKurenai: As the only responsible adult here I should not be ok with this but…I really don’t care anymore. –drinksJiraiya: -thinks- yes!! If Kurenai gets drunk I might score with her! Zakura: -thinks- yes!! If Kurenai gets drunk I might score with her! –says- And yeah, it was freaking SWEET. Hey Naruto and Kimimaro you guys kick ass and yes Naruto you are only straight guy in the rookie nine and gais team besides Lee and Kimimaro the bone part kicks ass. Have fun no offense from this itachisama tell Deidara-Kun I said I love him and so what if I'm Bi not gay Bi. Lyon Ryushi

Lucifel: Muwahhahaha, yes!! The yaoi is even in my fans!! I did put yours up, btw. Somewhere in the previous three updates… Sakura: Why is this here? Lucifel: To prove that I have real-live yaoi-people for fans. Sakura: Dear god… Gives Gaara this -hands unmarked kakashi shaped package that's not filled with cocaine, winkwink- and why do you hate Lee so much? Wewacian

Gaara: -is half-way to drunk- I don’t deserve presents!!! –throws the package from which muffled yells can be heard into the frappaccino fountain…no one notices-

Lee: -gasp- Gaara hates me? Orochimaru: Since when? I though he wanted in your pants… Gaara: -is three-quarters of the way to drunk- Of course I don’t hate Lee… -takes another drinkLee: I’m glad to hear that! For we are comrades in battle and good friends, ne? Gaara: -just about drunk and looks at Lee sadly- Yeah…good friends. Lee: -happy smile and goes to eatKimimaro: Gaara…what is it about that Lee boy? Gaara: Nothing. –drinks again…he’s drunk- I’m just in love with him… Kimimaro: …oh… Gaara: -continues drinking- Wanna go to the roof? Kimimaro: But we’re stuck in here… Gaara: I’m just drunk enough that I think I can break the rules. Here –pushes sake bottle into Kimi’s hands- you get drunk too, and then we’ll go. Kimimaro: -looks over at where Orochimaru is flirting with Jiraiya and Kabuto is trying to get Orochimaru’s attention and not look like he’s watching Sakura- Sure…why not…drinksNello! Tis me, Rose again! Please go out with me Kabuto, I think your hair is really, really sexy! And so I give you something you could actually use - a collection of bodies in any blood type or gender that you would like for your cruel experimentation! Please go out with me - please! Also I have a question for Oreo-kun! Are you a necrophiliac? I mean, since your jutsus do lie in raising the dead and all... love (only for Kabuto - for everyone else - from), Rose

Kabuto: Bitch, no. I’m DRUNK and I still say no. I want only one person, and one person only and only one…um….what was I saying? Orochimaru: -snuggling Kabuto- You are SO cute when you’re drunk. Kabuto: oh. Teehee.

Orochimaru: Well…not if they’re fully dead I wouldn’t, but I won’t pretend there aren’t times when I’ve been tempted. It takes up too much chakra just for a chance to screw around with previous kage’s though… -Sakura sways and Naruto and Lee run to catch her, Naruto falls flat on his half-drunken face and Lee, being sober, actually manages to catch her…but drops her when he raises his arms in victoryz/sakura: omg I like sakura as a lesbian, i bet she uses sasukes fangirls to her advantage -shifty eyesItachi: did you kill your clan because they used your hair products? It is a theory me and my friends have, also did you leave sasuke alive becasue you thought his hair sucked? (also im a sorta fan of uchihacest) Kabuto: why do you have such wierd glasses? and why is your hair grey? are you related to kakashi? haku: omg you are cute as, i would give you a hug but i fear for my life -looks at zabuza nervously- do you dislike being mistaken for a girl all the time? zabuza: i love you, you are awesome, and why do you have pointy teeth? lee: omg you are my faveourite naruto character, also sakura doesnt deserve someone as nice as you, you should go to gaara, he is mentally scarred and needs lots of hugs also after all the sake you had you are bound to have a hangover, so ill give you a box of headache medicine everyone: does sleeping on the floor hurt? -gives sleeping bags- um if zakura doesnt take them away, i got you seperate ones suited for you wow this is a sorta long post so ill see you next update ta Tarkemelhion

Lucifel: Had to cut this one down, but just so Tarky knows, I really enjoyed this review. ^_^ Naruto: Heeeey voice! D’ya wanna get drunk wid us? Lucifel: Naw, I’m good. Zakura: Wow! That’s a great idea! I can abuse the fangirls! Sakura: nonono!! Not the fangirls…-hic-Itachi returnsOrochimaru: Ita-chan!! How was little Sasuke? Itachi: -smirk- amazing. Kankuro came in on us though…it was really awkward until we just had him in. Orochimaru: Seriously? He’s kinda creepy…and pudgy. Itachi: Actually he’s quite fit, and he apparently doesn’t have his make up at H.T.’s place so he wasn’t wearing that and he looked really good. Lee: You guys are lucky Gaara’s so drunk he isn’t listening to you!

Orochimaru: Hmm, I’ll have to try him out sometime. Itachi: Now, if you’ll excuse me I want to go drink some sake. Zakura: Answer your question first. Itachi: Oh no, I kept my hair products under careful lock and key in a high security vault. No one DARED try to get those…and I kept Sasuke alive for moments like the one I had a few minutes ago, Jiraiya: Except you didn’t right? Itachi: Of course not. I just chatted it up with H.T. Jiraiya: Oh good…-hicOrochimaru: -sits in Jiraiya’s lap- Ne…would you want to— Jiraiya: -kisses Oro ionatelyOrochimaru: -happy- Well…what’s this all of a sudden? Jiraiya: -drunk smile- You do look really cute with short hair. Orochimaru: you too… -They make outKabuto: No!!!! Noooo!!! Orochimaru-sama, stop it!! –Is talking to LeeLee: Ano…Orochimaru is over there… Kabuto: -blinks- Which one of you said that? Lee: …-sweat dropSakura: heehee, Kabuto you’re drunk. Kabuto: I am not! You are!! Sakura: Heeheehee, no I’m not. Zakura: You’re both drunk. Answer your question Kabuto. Kabuto: I can’t read it, the print is really blurry…do you need a new printer?

Zakura: -sighs and read it to himKabuto: I wear glasses because…because…they’re X-RAY glasses…-hicSakura: Oh!! Can you see through Sasuke-kun’s clothes?! Kabuto: -nods energetically- And yours! Sakura: -SLAPSKabuto: -swaying- So…so anyway…I have gray hair because I’m secretly nine-hundred years old and I am Kakashi’s great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandmother…I mean father… Sakura: That’s all bullshit!! Kabuto: No really!! It’s true!! Haku: Aww, you can hug me! Zabuza: -glaresHaku: I really don’t mind being mistaken for a girl. After all, that’s part of why Zabuzasan likes me. Zabuza: -nods- And lots of wave ninja have pointy teeth. Naruto: -leaning in really close- Why? Were you inbred with sharks or something? Zabuza: -pushing him away- No. Naruto: oh. Lee: Well, thank you! My youth is the center of my awesomeness of course! You seem very youthful too! Is Gaara really that sad? I’ll go cheer him up!! -Gaara and Kimimaro are goneLee: ? Zakura: Lee, you’re not allowed to drink, so you keep track of the headache medicine, ok? Lee: Ok…

-Sleeping bags pile up in the front roomZabuza: Do we need those? Zakura: Doesn’t matter…I can’t really filter presents while I’m drinking. Lucifel: And I don’t mind most of them… Naruto: Voice…voice….voice… Sakura: heehehehe. Naruto’s drunk! Dear Zakura, um...*quickly hands pictres kurenai and tsunade* because they're..."friends with benifits* and if Jaraiya makes eye with them they'll explode, oh and pants Orochimaru because 1) to see if he perfers boxers,briefs, or thongs and 2) he's sexy

Zakura: yay! Who wants to see? Kurenai: See what? Zakura: You making out with Tsunade!! Kurenai: …O.o… -drinksZakura: Hmm…Why not? -Zakura walks over to Orochimaru and Jiraiya, and pulls off Orochimaru’s pants…he is not wearing anything underneathEveryone: GYAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! Orochimaru: -blinks- huh. Jiraiya: Well, that just makes things more convenient for me! Orochimaru: yee!! –Jumps on Jiraiya and they continueZakura: -still holding Orochimaru’s pants in shockDear people, It is I. I had an epiphany. I rediscovered my old joy of senseless violence, so I decided to screw all plans of escape and watch how the pieces fall. And I am also making plans to take over Suna because Kazekage-sama is away! Lalalalalala!! Well onto my questions. Orochimaru and Neji, why the hell do you keep your hair so freaking long?! I mean really I have long hair and it's a pain in the ass... how can you handle it? I mean really!! Anywho. Gaa-kun... you simple simple fool you know my dark ways...: insert dark evil smirk here: omg! I gots a popcicle! You know what the joy from this popcicle gives me is incredible!! I have decided to go on a senseless killing spree in SUna Yah for me!

Gaara, who do you think should survive, Temari, Kankuro, or Sasori who is already dead?!? Itachi, I will make srue to blame you for all this, who do you think should be your partner in this crime? Kisame, Hiden, or Kakazu?! That's all for now! Off to go ransack the village with fire yeah for fire!!

Itachi: …this girl is fucking insane. Kiba: Does she really think she can take on Temari? Zakura: She’s a fan girl; you never know what they can do… Naruto: heehee. Fan girl vs. fan-girl! Lee: I don’t get it… Neji: Well, about my hair, I don’t mind it long at all. It sometimes gets in the way but overall…to be blunt, Sasuke likes it. Shikamaru: …hmpf. Itachi: Aww, Shika has a crush on Sasuke. Shikamaru: -drinks- I most certainly do not. Itachi: suuure you don’t. At any rate, even though you’ll fail, go ahead and use Kisame, we travel together a lot, it’ll be believable. Meanwhile Gaara and Kimimaro are drinking together on the roof silently. Gaara pours Kimimaro a drink and Kimimaro pours one for him and they watch the quiet night descend on Konoha. Kimimaro: So…you love Lee? Gaara: Yeah, stupid huh? Loving a carefree kid like him…he’d never want to get together with a creepy, psycho reclusive guy like me. Besides I think he’s mostly straight. I don’t have a chance… Kimimaro: Yeah, it sucks when you don’t have a chance with the one you love… Gaara: Yeah. Orochimaru would be a tough one to care about. Kabuto’s looking worse for the wear… Kimimaro: Oh, I’m not in love with Orochimaru. Gaara: What?

Kimimaro: I idolize him and have deep respect for him, and I’m certainly attracted to him but…there’s a difference in iring love and the love you feel for someone on equal ground… Gaara: But if you didn’t love Orochimaru then…then… Kimimaro: …yeah. Gaara: Does he have any idea? Kimimaro: No. He always thought my jealously after I got sick and became incapacitated was because I wanted to be with Orochimaru. I really just wanted to be with him…I was glad to have him taking care of me, even though because he thought I was competition for Orochimaru’s affection he always seemed to detest me…you’re actually lucky. At least Lee cares about you as a comrade. Gaara: Why didn’t you just tell him the truth? Kimimaro: Because he’s in love with Orochimaru. I’m not stupid enough to think I could change that and besides…I was dying, and now I’m dead. What would the point be? Gaara: … I see what you mean. Kimimaro: Why don’t you tell Lee? Gaara: Because he’s in love with Sakura…we’re in the same situation. Kimimaro: No. You’re alive. You can do something. The most I could get at this point is an understanding that I never wanted to steal Orochimaru from him and maybe a quick kiss. And besides, even if he cared about me too it would just bring him pain along with mine. I don’t want that. I’ll keep my distance….just like always. Gaara: But that’s so sad… Kimimaro: And that’s why you shouldn’t let it happen to you. Gaara: …but Sakura… Kimimaro: Doesn’t love Lee. Even I can see that. I saw you and Lee fight together, even for the short time you did, you make a good team, and therefore I feel justified in hypothesizing that you’d make a good couple. Gaara: -shaking his head- tch…yeah right. Kimimaro: Eh, what would I know? I’m just the one-time mini-boss-fight character who died right after my introduction. I don’t know about this stuff.

Gaara: -can’t help himself. He cracks up.Kimimaro: -waits patiently for him to calm down, and starts giggling himself.Gaara: Come on, you had plenty of character-development. Kimimaro: Over what? A forty-minute fight and a few flashbacks? They laugh together some more, drink some more and after a while they grow quiet again, until Gaara softly break the silence. Gaara: What do you think will happen to you when we eventually get out of here? Kimimaro: I’ll probably go back to being dead. Gaara: -moves closer to Kimi- That sucks. This could have been the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Kimimaro: -puts his arm around Gaara’s shoulders- its better I go back. I’d end up fighting you again otherwise. Gaara: Even after all this? Kimimaro: My loyalties lie in the same place as my love. Gaara: Yeah…still, it sucks that when you die now I’m gonna have to miss you. Kimimaro: Heh, thanks… Gaara looks up at Kimi, and they look at each other for a moment. They kiss. A quick, chaste affair, that lasts for a few seconds before a mutual end. Gaara: …huh. I wonder what that was all about… Kimimaro: Just felt kind of right for the moment, ne? Gaara: -nods and leans against Kimimaro’s shoulder and the night goes onBack in the room…where everyone besides Lee and Orochimaru are, by now, totally plastered. Something you should know about me, I’m in the Navy, and I’m out on deployment right now. My ship is the John C. Stennis, we’re going to the Persian Gulf to keep shit under wraps over there. That wouldn’t normally be important, but it pertains to my next question. 1) Alright, everyone in the room who would fool around with a guy (everyone, I’m pretty sure, except Zakura), if you’re current occupation wasn’t being a shinobi of varying strength, would you the Navy?

2) This one’s for Kyuubi, who is the most badass Naruto character. What would you do if Naruto actually set you free, eat him or be one of his loyal friends? Oh, and here’s a Frappucino. They’re pretty good. 3) For everyone, especially Kyuubi, what is your favorite music? I’ll bring some by next time. For now, here are a few gifts. *several cases of Mountain Dew, a mini-bar, and buffet are put before Zakura for her approval. Also, the latest issue of Girls, Girls Girls! is put discreetly into her hands, to sweeten the deal and improve the odds of the rest getting their well deserved presents.* That’s all for me, guys. Later. Khellan Rafe

Sakura: Does it crack anyone else up that guys in the navy read Naruto fanfiction? Kiba: What’s fanfiction? Shino: Not to mention random humorous fics at that. Kiba: I SAID what’s fanfiction? Shino: the hell are you talking about? Kiba: o.O? Orochimaru: For me, I wouldn’t be a navy guy, for sure. I’d be the guy you’re trying to blow up. Jiraiya: Yeah, I’m more of a vigilante…now get back here you… Orochimaru: YEE!! Kurenai: I’d probably be more of an army person. Zabuza: Well, the military in general is too structured but if I had to any branch it would be the navy. Haku: And I’d of course go anywhere Zabuza went! Kiba: I’d wanna be a marine!! –Starts prowlingShino: What are you doing? Kiba: Bein’ a marine! Shino: How so? Kiba: …it’s a secret…or a surprise or somethin’… Shino: …right.

Sakura: Ano…I guess I’d the military… Zakura: HELL YEAH!!! Kickin ass and takin names in foreign countries! That’s what I’m about! Lee: He said anyone who would fool around with a guy… Zakura: So? Lee: -_-; Kabuto: I’d be a follower of Orochimaru either way. Shikamaru: …the military is too troublesome. Zakura: And being a ninja’s not? Shikamaru: …hmpf Itachi: I would pwn all your military asses!! –Starts fighting the airNeji: Well…I guess I would , sure. It seems like a good program. What about you Lee? Lee: Yosh! I would definitely be willing to commit myself to such a proud and youthful thing as the army, or navy or anything of that nature! It is a noble cause! Neji: And thus you it you’d fool around with a guy? Lee: …-horror- N-no!! I wouldn’t!! I mean… Neji: -cracks upZakura: So, this question to Kyuubi… And suddenly a deep, dark, menacing voice said: No way would I befriend the brat. I’d go right back to what I was doing before Yondaime (the bastard) sealed me away. Everyone: O.O … Naruto: K-Kyuubi? Kyuubi: yeah? Naruto: THE FUCK?!?!?!?!

Sakura: Did everyone else hear that?! Gaa/Kimi: -come back downstairs- What was that menacing voice just now? Kyuubi: Ohhh, it’s the shukaku kid… Gaara: No! Now I’m hearing voices too?! Sakura: Everyone relax, it’s probably just the alcohol… Lee: But I’m sober!! Zakura: You always hear voices though! Lee: …oh yeah. Zakura: Anyway, about music, I’m definitely a Goth, death-metal type of girl. Sakura: But I like pop… Zakura: Yeah, do you know how many times I’ve tried to kill myself when listening to your music? Anyway, to make this go faster, I’m just gonna list genres, and everyone in favor of the genre will raise their hands. Old school rock n roll? Kure/Jira/Lee: -raise handsZakura: Old farts… Lee: No!! I am youthful!! Youthful I say!! Zakura: Yeah, whatever. Hard rock and/or death metal? Kiba/Neji/Oro/Gaa/Zabu/Haku: -raise handsZakura: hmm, ok...wait, HAKU?! Haku: What can I say? I like Zabuza-san’s music. Zakura: Ooook…country? No-one. Zakura: I thought so. Alternative? Shino/Kimi/Ita/Oro: -raise hands-

Zakura: You already raised you hand for hard rock, Orochimaru. Orochimaru: -ignores to continue making out with JiraZakura: Whatever. Pop and/or Emo? Saku/Naru: -raise handsItachi: And somewhere, Sasuke raises his hand and doesn’t know why. Zakura: Too true. Classical? Kabu/Shika: -raise handsZakura: Gross. Oh yeah, and Kyuubi. Which is it? you gotta say since we can’t see you. Kyuubi: Classical. Everyone: …o.o Zakura: You’re shitting me? Kyuubi: What? Just cause I’m a vicious animal I can’t be a little sophisticated? Jeez… Zakura: And I really just want to move on… Zakura-HOW IS IT THAT UR SO FREAKIN AWSOME!! -jigh fives- YAY 4 BEING BITCHEZ!! Sakura-pyon -I guess i can deal wit da fatc dat u and sasuke r homos...-sniffle-.. My sasuksaku beleifs r dead now... Hey, since all the guysin Konahoa r gay or old-looks at jiraya when says old-, r all the girls lesbos 2? Itachi-sama- I LUV U! Heres a crate of fraps 4 when ur of probation, but in the mean time, gaara gets to drink them allso u get wat's left! XP Gaara- Do u like rock lee cuz he might give u part of his eye-brows? OMG!! I DIDNT MEAN 2 AFFEND U OR LEE!! IM SRRY!! -smacks self in faceAnime_love101

Zakura: -misses high-five and face-plants into the ground- Fuck! Ow!! …hey there are stars…awesome… Sakura: NO! I’m not a homo!! Zakura is all the parts of me that are small and insignificant to who I am!! I’m straight!! Zakura: Call me insignificant to my face! Sakura: How can I when it’s smashed into the ground? Zakura: Touche.

Itachi: THEY TORMENT ME!!!! Gaara: -mixing sake with a frappuccino- I feel no torment… Kimimaro: -looking at the mixture- Is that healthy? Gaara: Hellllll no. Kimimaro: Can I try it? Gaara: When I’m done! ...-reads letter- Give me my list!!!! Lee: My eyebrows are my signature! I couldn’t give them to Gaara! Gaara: -blank stare- Are you sober? Lee: Completely! Gaara: …holy shit. I have a new goal in life! WOO!! My goal is to capture itachi! Because i am going to let sasuke go sooner or later. i cant keep his awsomeness to myself. Also, if i keep talking about all my plans to capture itachi, sasuke gets really mad at me! Right now, i am hideing under a table cuz i just randomly started talking how itachi is so great. I really dont luv you itachi, but my friend does. Oh, one more thing. i have a gift for orochimaru oh, i also have a question for itachi. Is the uchiha symbol a pokeball? Are you sure? Cuz, it looks like a pokeball. My friend threw a pokeball at sasuke.IT WAS HILLARIOUS! Zakura, you have to try it if you really want to piss sasuke off! Sakura, dont do it cuz he would hate you forever! Luv, H T and sassy! p.s. gaara, your brother ed out on my couch and i need him to leave. Can you somehow help me? i think he had to many muffins! temari tried to move him, but he started to make out with her in his sleep and she got all freaked out and almost cut him in half with her fan! poor temari...

Itachi: Good luck with that. Lee: OH!! I get it now! Fan-girl! As in Temari, because she fight with a fan! Everyone: …-_Itachi: Well, no, it’s not a fucking poke ball!!!! Kiba: -throws pokeball at ItachiItachi: What the F—-gets sucked into pokeballPokeball: -jiggle, jiggle- … -jiggle, jiggle-…-ding-

Everyone (Even Oro and Jira stop and stare): …O.o Kurenai: You’ve GOT to be shitting me… Kiba: -picks up pokeball and makes a dramatic pose- I caught an ITACHI!!!! Everyone: -jaws to the floorKabuto: That’s…not possible. Kiba: You’re just jealous that I caught such an awesome ninja. Kabuto: WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THE POKEBALL FROM?! Kiba: The pokemart, DUH. Kabuto: Oh my brain… Gaara: -sighs- fine, ok. –Kankuro appears sleeping next to him- I just hope he stays asleep… Kankuro: -muttering in his sleep- Gaara…snrrrk…sandcest…snoooore…wheeeeeeeee… Lee: -twitch- You’re brother is creepy. Gaara: You get used to it. LOL Orochimaru youve stuck kusanagi (that sword you have) down your throat so what else have you put down your throatLOL! Also Itachi if someone pisses you off use your mangekyou to torture them! Now Since Im a guy im against yaoi but it just works in here and I have a feeling someones gonna rape Naruto lolz! Lucifel is probably the hottest out of everyone there lol! Chow -Kurai-

Sakura: WHAT?! Why is this here? He asks no questions, only makes lewd comments about Orochimaru and Naruto, and spells Ciao as in the Italian goodbye like chow!! WTF?! Zakura: You perfectionist bitch. This kid is like, sugar-high awesomeness. Lucifel: YAY!! I’m the hottest person in the room!! Zakura: That’s also why he was allowed. Jiraiya: -checks out chest size- Ayup. Lucifel: AAAH!! How did you see me?! Jiraiya: I am drunk out of my mind.

Lucifel: Oh ok. Lee: -shudderNaruto: Where is she ero-sennin?! I’ll find her!! Lucifel: -hidesHI EVERYONE! I changed my screen name from BellaGaara12 to Bella-QueenOfTehWaffles :P. YAY!! Haku and Zabuza are getting married! :D Zabuza I am heartbroken that you will not let me plan the wedding T.T I helped out during my sister's wedding and I think I could give you and Haku a nice wedding. Gaara I completely understand that you would rather marry Lee...besides you two make a cut couple :3 however, -steals picture of Gaara wearing a skirt- -laughs evily- Who wants waffles?! :D Why is Sasuke's hair shaped like a chicken butt? Before I go...-stabs Zakura- DIE!! -Stabs Zakura dead- YOU SAW NOTHING! -runs awayBella-QueenOfTehWaffles

Haku: Oh, come on, Zabuza-san, she planned a wedding before… Zabuza: no! It is not allowed! –Brandishes swordHaku: But don’t you want a perfect wedding? Zabuza: Yes! By which I mean a quick ceremony and then to the honeymoon suite! Haku: You’re not serious about marrying me at all!! –Runs to a corner crying while Zabuza continues to fight off invisible fangirlsNaruto: -goes to comfort HakuOrochimaru: No!! The picture!! Everyone besides Haku and the captured Itachi: WAFFLES!!! YAY!! Zakura: -is fine- Dude, I’m the physical shape of mental creation. Stab wounds have nothing on me. Ok I want to make Kabuto-kun do a dare! Kabuto-kun I dare u 2 give Sakura a 'KISS' on the lips filled with ion!

-Nothing happensKiba: Oh come on! Everyone else is forced to do ridiculous dare but Kabuto doesn’t have to? Zakura: The thing is…he already did. Everyone: WHAAAT?!

Saku/Kabu: NO WE DIDN’T!! Zakura: Oh, I think a flashback is in order… Saku/Kabu: NOOO!!! -FLASHBACKSakura and Kabuto are talking, (well, Kabuto was whining) and suddenly Sakura leans forward and kissed Kabuto. Sakura: -pulls back- WHAT THE MOTHER-FUCKING HELL!?!!? Kabuto: -blinks a few stunned times and then laughs- Calm down, Sakura, it was just the dare! Sakura: o-oh…good… An awkward moment, as Sakura blushes redder than her slowly drying dress under Kabuto’s shirt and Kabuto smirks at her (though not too condescendingly). Slowly Kabuto’s smirk fades as he watches her fidget and bite her lips. When she looks up suddenly to try and start conversation again since it’s so awkward, she barely gets the first word out and then Kabuto has pulled her forward and is kissing her deeply. It lasts a long time and then finally Sakura pulls back gasping, and finds that she has somehow become situated on Kabuto’s lap, facing him. Sakura: S-so, you think I’m the sexiest person here, do you? Kabuto: The hell are you talking about? Sakura: Th-the dare… Kabuto: But I said truth. Sakura: -blushes even deeper and slowly leans forward.Kabuto: -leans head back to meet her with a gentle kissGentle kisses are nice, but they don’t last all that long. Much tumbling and deep kissing ensued, during Which Kabuto pulled his shirt off Sakura just for the sake of removing one more layer between them. Sakura’s hand fluttered over the skin on his back and torso while he kept her mouth continuously captured in his. Suddenly Jiraiya’s voice leaks from the other room and the two break apart; gasping and shocked. Jiraiya: -muffled- sakura!! If Sasuke never existed, would you go out with Itachi, Neji or Gaara?

Kabuto: Fuck. You should be getting out there. Hurry, go. Sakura: -embarrassedly smoothing hair- B-but…what…I mean…why… Kabuto: -pulling his shirt on- Go! Go! They’ll get suspicious! –pushes her to the doorSakura: But you— Kabuto: -kisses her quickly- Go. Sakura: -stares at KabutoJiraiya: I SAID— Sakura: -opens door quickly and frustratedly- Yeah, yeah I heard you… End Flashback Everyone: -stunned silenceOrochimaru: Holy… Kimimaro: …-stares at Kabuto dejectedlyKabuto: THAT WAS ALL MADE UP!! Sakura: -is feeling sorry for herself in a cornerLee/Naru: I refuse to believe that was real!! Zakura: Oh, it was. Trust me. I know a few of you noticed some things were a little off when they came out, this is why. Haku: -snaps out of mope-age- YAY! You guys make such a cute couple! Everyone: -stares at HakuHaku: What? They do… Kabuto: I…I was just really horny is all! I was desperate because Orochimaru was ignoring me! Sakura: …-weeps in embarrassmentOrochimaru: Kabuto, you’re a slick bastard. Was that last kiss to ensure a follow-up booty call then?

Kabuto: um, yeah! Orochimaru: But Kabuto, if you were that horny why didn’t you just take a slut like Neji instead of Sakura? Kabuto: Neji wasn’t here yet! Neji: Well, I’m here now, and horny if anyone’s interested… Sakura: L-look…let’s just…move on… Lee: No! Zakura is spreading dirty lies about you Sakura-san! I cannot allow that to un-avenged! Sakura: Lee, everyone’s drunk we can just go on… Zakura: Oh, yeah, yeah sure… HI AGAIN! I just wanted to say, Roachy (Orochimaru), my friends and I used to think you were hot...but...we suddenly realized...you're like...ew... Sakura, if Kabuto asked you out, and Sasuke had just gone on a mission, and, let's say...burned to death, would you say yes? Neji: OMG YOU'RE IN THERE TOO! I LOVE YOU! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE A SLUT, I LOVE YOU! YOU'RE MY TEDDY! -Coughs- Are you gay, or bi? I LOVE YOU, MY TEDDY!

Orochimaru: NO!!! I’m teh sexy!! Jiraiya: Yes, yes, now come show me how sexy you are… Orochimaru: -pouncesZakura: By the way, I’m putting your pants with the sleeping bags whenever you want them… Orochimaru: -gives thumbs up since his mouth is occupiedZakura: I think we can safely say, hell fucking yes to Sakura’s question. Sakura: NO! He was just…there, and I was missing Sasuke, I wouldn’t DATE him!! Kabuto: Exactly! Saku/Kabu: -pause…quickly look away from each otherNeji: I’m a…teddy?

Lee: certainly not! For I am far more youthful and huggable than you! Neji: At any rate, I’m bi. If it’s sexy, I’ll get in bed with it. Zakura: Would you do Kyuubi? Neji: Nah, I’m not a big fan of body hair. Kyuubi: Well, you’re not my type either shrimp, so fuck off. Naruto: That is so freaky… Hello again! (Random questions) Orochimaru-san, can you lick your elbow? Orochimaru-san and itachi-san, a group of my friends are planning to take over the school and then arizona and the rest of the world, do you guys have any tips?? Zabuza-san, you are one of the seven swordsmen who are the other 6? (Is kisame-fishman-san one of them?) To the characters who are locked in that prison i give you mountain dew's and chocolate (chocolate makes everything better) SilverMononoke

Orochimaru: -pauses in making-out- I could lick the elbows of everyone in this room at once! AND I would suggest using sheep for a hostile takeover. Zakura: Sheep are pretty damn badass. Zabuza: Kyle, Kenny, Stan, Cartman, Butters and Token. Kabuto: What the fuck kind of names are those? Kiba: NO WAY! The kids from South Park are legendary swordsmen?! Zabuza: yep…of course. Haku: Really? You never told me that… Zabuza: Well, it’s true... Everyone: W00T!! Mt. dew!! Zakura: Oh man, that much mountain dew with that much sake…this isn’t gonna go well. Kurenai: THE CHOCOLATE IS MINE!! Kankuro: -steals and drinks a mountain dew in his sleepAHS: Hello again helpless people in the room! -Waves- It’s me! Formally known as A.H.S.!! Anyhow I gotta make my questions quick!

Deidara: Yes please do! Un! These chains are starting to chaff my wrists!! Sasori: Quit complaining! Atleast it’s not your neck. -GrumblesAHS: Now now boys! I'll be there in a sec! Questions now, so I can go back to my...ahem...bed. 1) Itachi-san! If you could screw any guy in Akatsuki, Whom? Cause I wanna tape it! -Giggles- And thats an order from the new Leader! Yours truely! 2) Jiraiya! Maybe we can come up with an arangement over the pricings? Besides! I have a pretty damn good chest! And it’s all natural! -Cackles, cracking her black and red stripped whip over Deidara's ass. Deidara: -moanageAHS: Ahem...Chi-kun (Orochimaru) What are your veiws on heavy bondage? J/k. Last and certainly not least! Kabuto-kun! Coould you start wearing s and let your hair down!! Your too smexy for the ponytail and glasses!

Orochimaru: So you really think we’d believe that you had the ability to capture the akatsuki? Jiraiya: Well, this Lucifel person did capture all of us… Orochimaru: My god, you’re right. Damn you fan-girls!! Zakura: Who are you damning? Thanks to Lucifel you get to make out with Jiraiya. Orochimaru: …I LOVE FANGIRLS!! Zakura: All right Kiba, let Itachi out to answer his question. Kiba: -gets up, pushes his hair back, winds up for the pitch and yells- ITACHI! I CHOOSE YOU!! -Itachi comes out of the pokeballItachi: -blinks a few times- …Who the fuck did that to me? Kiba: -hides pokeball- Not a clue. Aren’t you drunk? Zakura: Being returned to a pokeball cures intoxication, even though technically it’s more like poison and therefore shouldn’t… Kiba: anyway…answer your question, Itachi. -Itachi refuses to obey!Kiba: Dammit! I have to get some badges! Shino: If you go on a pokemon quest after this so help me I’ll— Itachi: SO IT WAS YOU!! -Lunges at Kiba-

Zakura: -snaps fingers and Itachi is pinned to the floorItachi: -grumble grrr- I hate you. Deidara. He’s one of the few normal/good-looking ones… Zakura: Thank you, that’s all we needed. Kiba. Kiba: Itachi! Return! Itachi: -mangekyou Sharingans Kiba-After a second things are back to normal and Kiba collapses on the ground, shakingShino: ARG!! How dare you! What did you do to him!? Itachi: I made him take care of a cat with digestive problems for seventy-two hours straight. Shino: Monster! Itachi: Yeah…I know… Jiraiya: -drools- I think we can make some price cuts… Orochimaru: What about me?! Jiraiya: What about you? You’re not suddenly unsexy or anything, I still want in your pants too… Orochimaru: WHEE!! Zakura: how do you plan to get in pants that aren’t even there right now? Jiraiya: I plan to count my blessings as they come. Itachi: This whole whipping Deidara thing is sexy… Zakura: This whole, nicely-chested girl with a whip thing is sexy… Orochimaru: My view on heavy bondage is that Jiraiya and I should try it! Jiraiya: Haha! Yeah!! Sakura: hmmm…-steals Kabuto’s glassesKabuto: H-hey…things were blurry enough with them…

Haku: -steals Kabuto’s hair tieKabuto: What are you doing?! Everyone: woah! Kimi/Saku: -bluuushSakura: Oh wow… Kimimaro: -grabs Gaara’s shoulder for as he swaysKabuto: What? What is it? Dammit, I can’t see anything… Sakura: Well, we’re all doing enough looking for you… Kabuto: hwa? What made you wanna brake free from sakura? And now that you are whats the one thing you wanna do most when you get free? So do u think there is another person out there in that room other than sakura you might like...?

Zakura: well, Sakura was having this over-load of conflicted emotions because of being in this room, and I was getting tired of her ive way of dealing with it, so I finally decided that, shit, if I’m in a place where I can kill physics, may as well use that fact. Sakura: gya…hrrg…wow… Zakura: See, if I was in her brain I’d be drowning in mush right now. Kyuubi: Maybe I should take a hint from you… Kabuto: -wanders around with his hands out trying not to bump into anything…almost falls into the pool but Kimimaro catches himKabuto: Uh thanks….umm…which one are you…-squints and leans in close to Kimimaro, trying to see his face. Kimimaro: EEP!! –Drops Kabuto and hides behind Gaara, blushing furiouslyGaara: Now I see why you really won’t say anything, you’re just the goopy shy type. Kimimaro: Shut up! He’s never looked so hot! Kabuto: -trying to stand- Oww…

Naruto: Nah, no one in this room is anywhere near as cute and nice as Sakura-chan! Itachi: Plenty of people AREN’T in the room, though… Naruto: Ano…well…-bluuushJiraiya: ha-ha! Naruto-chan has a crush on someone!! Naruto: No! She’s just kind of cute… Gaara: Psh, it’s a girl? I’m SO not interested. Naruto: You’re weird Gaara… Gaara: And you’re cute, Naruto. Naruto: …cuz I gots whiskers… Gaara: Still drunk…which just makes you cuter. Naruto: meow. I’m a cat with whiskers… Gaara: Cuuute. Kimimaro: Who do you have a crush on here?! Gaara: Lee. But Naruto’s adorable, and as his best gay friend I have to expose him. Hello everybody! Gaa-chan of cours i'll be ur friend! Also the frappcinno waterfall & lake will never run out no matter how much u drink from it! Also i'm still trying to fix a frappcino waterfall at ur house it'll take time but it'll be done by Friday! ! Also here's Lux conditioner and shampoo [for Itachi]! Hope ya like it also a lavender scented body soap and nail polish!

Gaara: Oh, sweet. Make sure you tell Temari I ok’d you building that. Of course…she won’t believe that I have any friends but…umm, good luck. Itachi: Yay! I’m gonna go wash my hair and everything, like, twenty times!! WHEEE!! – Runs into door frame for the bathroom, shakes head and goes into bathroomSo, they all continue drinking and eating and partying and on and on through the night… some karaoke is involved, the highlight of which was a love-ballad duet between Itachi and Kabuto. Kimimaro continued hiding behind Gaara to avoid the suddenly sexy Kabuto, Gaara kept bugging Naruto with homosexual comments, Naruto kept going on about his whiskers, trying to get Sakura to acknowledge how cute they are. Lee managed to enjoy himself without getting drunk cuase he’s so weird. Kiba tried to get on Shino a lot, even though Shino was still trying to hold out on him. Orochimaru kept making out with Jiraiya all night. Shikamaru drank by himself in a corner. Haku easily forgave

Zabuza, obviously, and kept planning his wedding…the drunken plans will be discarded later, of course. Kurenai tried supervising for a while and then gave up and started singing karaoke and dancing and hitting on Kiba…which was kind of weird, but not really considering where they are. Neji tried desperately to get laid, because the slut can’t go a night without someone in his pants. Sakura and Kabuto started flirting once everyone was too drunk to care, and ended up cuddling when they all decided to go back into the main room and get in the caringly provided sleeping bags. They left Kankuro in the pool/party room, muttering about sandcest and nonsense…Lucifel: Well, this was a long update, but hey, I warned you, and you supplied the reviews! And of course, I delivered. I hope you didn’t mind. I’ll get to reviews given over this weekend next weekend. So, the review deadline is Friday, if you wanna get your review into whatever chapter is up for the weekend. It may be late Sunday night, but it is the weekend, so technically I made the scheduled date for updating! Yay me! Ok, thank you all so much, I love you all!! See you for the hangover chapter!

Ask Sakura 17 Lucifel: Kya! You’ve all been so great! I just want to say that, although the gifts are awesome, and really help me add to the story, because they take some addressing as well, from now on I’ve got to count gifts as questions, so you only get three questions or three gifts, or a mix of both. I can always pick and choose if you just can’t help but send a whole bunch at once. (You can always save for coming chapters) An apology to Kryah: for some reason I couldn’t paste you gifts and am too lazy to type them up! But, the point is, Haku’s going to be wearing your kimono to his wedding! (And Gaara is hiding that plushie you gave him very carefully….) Haku: Yay! –Swirls around with wedding kimono and falls over from his hang-overZakura: WHAT?! No! We partied right through Valentines Day?! We missed it?! Everyone besides Lee: -mooooan- shut up! Lee: What is wrong with you all?! You’re showing none of your usual youth! –Eyes Jiraiya- well…mostly… Kurenai: You’ve never had a hang over have you Lee? Lee: …hwa? Kurenai: Just shut up and let me have some of that headache medicine you got… Lee: Ooooh…I lost it. Everyone: YOU WHAT?!! –MoooanLee: I’m sorry! I will punish myself with 2000 push-ups! –Drops and starts doing pushupsZakura: Guys! You’re all missing a very important thing here!! Kabuto: -so hung-over he doesn’t care that he and Sakura have been found sleeping next to each other, and he puts his glasses back on- Firstly, why aren’t you hung over? Secondly, what’s the big deal about missing a stupid made-up holiday?!

Zakura: You don’t understand! It doesn’t matter if I was the biggest bitch in the world, Valentines day is the day every girl dreams about romance and hopes that it will be a day of love and ion for her! And I fucking missed it this year! This could have been my year! Itachi: Well, obviously I wasn’t since it didn’t happen. Zakura: I hate you! Sakura: No…I can’t believe we missed it! Zakura: Shut up bitch! You GOT your valentine early in the pool room! Sakura: -bluuushHaku: I don’t mind. Every day is loving and ionate with Zabuza-san. Zakura: -flips the bird at HakuHaku: -puppy eyes- Why? Zakura: Because you—(looks at the big, hurt eyes) Dammit! Why must you be so cute and girly?! Sakura: -groanHey everyone! I'm back with more gifts! I'm so nice right? Itachi: A new frappucino machine! Because, I know you must miss it...*wipes away tear* Gaara: I brought you...a panda suit. Because i saw a pic of you dresed in one and i couldn't resist. Lee: A picture of Gai Sensei. Just do me a favor and don't run into a sunset with it 'kay? Orochimaru: OMG! HI! I brought those pics of Sasuke as Cat-Boy! And THANK YOU FOR LICKING ME! Kurenai: Godiva Chocolate. Yum. Zabuza: 3rd Inuyasha movie since you love him so much... Haku: A new silk kimono! ep! Well I hope i got everyone. And if i didn't then...too bad! ~ Starfaya ~

Itachi: hrrrrrg must drink…frappuccino…-reaches from frappuccino machineZakura: -steps on Itachi’s hand- nope, you’ve got two more days, pussy. Itachi: -whimpers-

Kimimaro: -taps Gaara through sleeping bag- you’ve got something. Gaara: -reaches out and pulls panda suit into sleeping bag, groaningLee: -springs up- Ah! I have not seen my mentor in so long! –starts towards sunsetZakura: -trips himLee: -SLAMOrochimaru: -blinks groggily at pictures of Sasuke- YEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! CAT-BOY SASUKE!! Jiraiya: owwww, that was right in my ear…WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING NEXT TO ME?! Kurenai: you really shouldn’t let yourself get drunk like that, Jiraiya. –Eats chocolateJiraiya: W-why…what did I do? Itachi: Orochimaru, what else? Jiraiya: B-but I didn’t right? Itachi: Sure, just like I didn’t screw Sasuke. Jiraiya: phew? Haku: KYA!!! Another Kimono! –Puts Kimono on- Wa! I look so pretty! Ne, I’m gonna need kimonos for the wedding guests too (girls and boys style) you guys can help! Who ever gives me the kimonos with the prettiest styles/patterns will have their kimonos used for my wedding! Neji: Did Haku just turn this into a gameshow? Zakura: I dunno, don’t question the Haku. Haku: OH! And I’ll need a special one for Zabuza-san! Zabuza: Say what? I thought I’d just wear my usual… Haku: NO! You need special clothes! Zabuza: -rolls eyes- ok, I’ll wear whatever you want…

Kiba: Ano…am I the only one that re something about Kabuto and Sakura making out? Sakura: Ehehehe, no, no, that was a prank, a dare. Kabuto was dared to. Kiba: Oooooh, ok. Itachi: -to Orochimaru- You buying it? Orochimaru: Fuck no. Gaara do you know what sandcest is? Because I think it's sick and disgusting what about you. Oh yeah Sandcest is a pairing with you and Temari and Kankuro Zakura: Is anyone in this room not gay or bisexual. If you were prt of Sakura and you're a Lesbian doesn't that make Sakura bisexual Oh yeah Gaara does the pairing Temari and Naruto piss you off from Saskuretsu

Gaara: -crawls out of sleeping bag in panda-suit- oh yeah, sandcest well… Oro/Ita: KYAAA!! CUTE!!! Gaara: -glares- shut up, it’s cold. Anyway, Kankuro tries to get on me sometimes, we’ve never really had a normal sibling relationship so it’s not so weird… Itachi: And it’s just incest. Gaara: Exactly. Zakura: I dunno, is anyone here totally straight? And so help me Jiraiya, if you raise your hand I’ll kill you. Jiraiya: -scowlSaku/Naru: -raise handsZakura: tch, figu—Kurenai…you’re not straight? Kurenai: -shrugs- there’s been a woman or two I could imagine getting in bed with. Zakura: wow, the world just got a light brighter. Sakura: I’m not bisexual, because Zakura is the opposite of everything I was so :p. 1.) Sakura you're one of my girl favorite character and all and dude I wish i had you're hair! how'd you get it that pretty? 2)Kabuto are you really gay?,and If you could would you marry/date/or makeout with Sakura?,also Dude you're way hot you don't need that stupid Oro-teme as a bf,he's not worth it!,date someone nice and kind

like sakura,or hinata(nvm,she's naruto's...) 3)Gaara, tell u're older bro. that he look's hot with his face paint(Star:CoughMakeupcough) ,but is way HOTTER Without it!,oh yeah and could he teech me how to make a puppett someday Star,Monki,M&m:SEE YAH LATER! MandMfreakandfollower

Sakura: it’s…natural… Zakura: Yeah, Choji’s lucky he didn’t get the pink hair. Sakura: CHOJI ISN’T MY SECRET HALF-BROTHER!! –Gasps and covers mouthShikamaru: -chokes on the water he was drinkingEveryone: -staresSakura: What? He’s not. Zakura: Yes he is. Why are you lying about it? Sakura: -whimperKabuto: Wow, if I wasn’t so hung-over I’d totally make of fun of you about this. Lee: -thinks- hmm…I am thirsty, I know! I will drink one of the frappuccino’s Gaara left out last night! –Drinks- w-woah…that frappuccino tasted funny… Kabuto: one, Orochimaru’s not my bf; I’m just his loyal servant. Two, I’m bisexual and three; I would never marry or date Sakura. Lee: -rushes over, swaying- SO!! You it you would make out with her?! Kabuto: Well I kind of did… Lee: Unacceptable!! –Attacks all drunken-styleKabuto: -barely dodges- GAH! WTF?! Lee: I WILL DEFEND SAKURA-SAN’S HONOR!!!!!!! Gaara: -calls into pool room- Kankuro! These girls want in your pants!! –Kabuto rushes by in front of him, Lee chasing after- Wtf? –looks up and realizes what happened. - Ho, damn. Zakura - if you had to choose a 4 way betwen you, Sakura and two others -- who would the two others be? And you can sexy no jutso now. Sakura - what is the one jutso you don't now know but really wish you could do?

Everyone - What is the first thing you do in the morning when you wake up? Kazster

Zakura: Kurenai and Ino. Kurenai’s got the sexiness and I’d like to completely dominate Ino’s ass. I personally wouldn’t have Sakura there if I could avoid it. Sakura: -twitch- You are so ruining my life… Zakura: hell yeah. Lee: SAKURA-SAN!! WATCH ME DEFEND YOUUUUU!! Sakura: I’m watching! Kabuto: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Sakura: Oh, yeah, I wish I could do sharingan so I could relate to Sasuke better… Itachi: But then I’d have to kill you. Sakura: -meepHaku: first thing in the morning? I kiss Zabuza good morning! Zabuza: -smirkShino: I get out of bed. Kiba: -rolls eyes- I try to keep him in bed. Neji: I wonder where whoever I slept with that night went. Kiba: GOD you’re a whore. Neji: Yup. And I’m ok with that. Naruto: Ano…usually I get some breakfast. Lee: I TRAIN SO I CAN DEFEND SAKURA’S HONOR!! Kabuto: -is breathless form runningSakura: I brush my hair and teeth… Zakura: After checking to see if her boobs have gotten any bigger. Sakura: I DO NOT!!!

Zakura: Sure whatever… Jiraiya: I uh… Zakura: He usually wakes up thinking about Orochimaru and hoping everyday that all of it was just a bad dream. Everyday, he has to wake up and keep living with the fact that it did. Orochimaru: -blinks- Are you serious. Jiraiya: -blush and scratches head embarrassedly- I…um…she’s exaggerating…a little… Orochimaru: Oh, I’m so sorry Jira…I think about you too! Jiraiya: Whatever… Kurenai: I shower. Jiraiya: -forms mental image- hehehe… Kurenai: -bashes headKabuto: I make sure Orochimaru’s up and on time for his usual morning villainous thinking… Kimimaro: He still does that? Kabuto: Oh yeah. Gaara: I usually end up cursing at something…I’m not a morning person… Itachi: I make sure none of the other akatsuki attempted to rape/kill me in the night. A lot of them want to. Zakura: Damn, that’s harsh. Itachi: yeah… Shikamaru: … Naruto: C’mon, Shika, how do you wake up? Some really smart way right? Shikamaru: -mutters somethingNaruto: What?

Shikamaru: I wonder why I bother with such troublesome people… Naruto: huh? That sounds kind of suicidal… Shikamaru: I’m not…quite… Naruto: ? Zakura: if you control the room dimension why dont you bring in some girls to molest? Shikamaru: do you ever get tired of being a genius? ps Lee: give gaara a hug plz Kyuubi: why did you attack Konoha, is it because ou are evil or was there a reason behind it Tarkemelhion

Lucifel: TARKY!!!! Lee: HO! The voice! I shall kill it now! LOTUS GATE!!! Gaara: gah! No! –Tackles Lee so he can’t do the dangerous jutsuLee: What are you doing?! LET GO OF ME!!!! Gaara: no! You’ll hurt yourself! Calm-- -realizes Lee has fallen asleep- …-sighs and sits back, Lee sprawled across his lapShikamaru: Never…but even as a genius I never saw Sakura being related to Choji…holy shit. Zakura: Lee’s in an alcohol-induced coma, (really fast, I might add) and hugs aren’t necessary. Gaara: -disappointed sighLee: -sighs in his sleep and hugs GaaraGaara: -blushKyuubi: I attacked Konoha because those bitches kept leaving their lights on at night. I couldn’t fucking sleep. Naruto: So…my life was ruined because they left their lights on one too many times? Kyuubi: That’s about right. Naruto: …I hate my life…

Anyway, those paper bombs didn't go off...odd that my Booby Trap 137 technique didn't work... (Notices all the bombs have the kanji for 'laxative' instead of 'explode' and grins sheepishly) you might want to stop eating food from that thing... Question time! Kyuubi, what does it smell like in Naruto's... inner prison thingy? I'm sure your superior fox demon nose could tell us. Kimimaro, what were the rest of the Sound 4/5/6 like as co-workers? Everybody: If so many ninjas are gay, how are so many of you left in this generation? And don't say cloning, because I know Orochimaru and Kabuto are still figuring that one out. Avatarik137

Zakura: The bombs didn’t go off because I never tried to confiscate it. Duh…oh man I’m glad laxatives don’t work on mental beings… Everyone: NOOO!! Kyuubi: eheheh, no laxatives for me either, bitches. Oh, and it smells like blood and guts. Just like home… Everyone: -twitchOrochimaru: Oh come on, it’s not that bad. Itachi: No shit, pussies. Kimimaro: Anyway, they were all right. Most of them were noisy and a pain in the ass, but we formed a kind of discombobulated family unit…I kind of miss them. Those lucky bastards got into hell… Kurenai: And it’s only they’re generation that’s openly gay. Everyone was shy about it up until when anko started being open about it. I mean, everyone knew Shikaku and Inozuka had something going on the side but— Shikamaru: Wait, WHAT?! My father and Ino’s father… Kurenai: Yeah, well, at least everyone thought… Shikamaru: -twitchKurenai: oh come on! They were so close, what else could it be? Shikamaru: … Itachi, are you still blind? By the way it sounds ur not but I still suspect... anyway... Orochimaru, How come you never freaking show your younger face?! It's so kawaii! It's always your ugly old face... I mean really!! I Have an Alter Ego

Itachi: When was I blind?

Shino: Probably later in the story that Lucifel’s read. Kiba: -looks at Shino twitchilyItachi: that makes sense. Shino: What does? Orochimaru: Aaaanyway, I look older so I’m more distinguished…it’s not THAT old, sheesh. Not like Jiraiya or something… Jiraiya: hey! Orochimaru: And besides, short hair makes me look younger! Jiraiya: -sniffle- I want my long hair back… Zakura: -hands him ponytail of his old hair- here ya go. Jiraiya: That’s just cruel. Zakura: That is the idea. anyway, i have a "friend" i would like you all to meet! her name is amber andgirl: MY FREAKING NAME IS EMBER! E-M-B-E-R! jeeze, calm down ok ember. (amber) and she is kinda my opposite "twin" and stuff. amber: very opposite, thats for sure, I AM A BLONDE AND YOU ARE BRUNETTE! then, i luv itachi!! there is another diff cuz i luv sassy-chan and ya need to fight my friend for itachi. and.. oh yeah!! PUT ITACHI IN ANOTHER POKE BALL! PLEASE! then can you give him to me?? i wanna beat the shit outta ash and i need an awsome strong pokemon. maybe thats wy sasuke dissappeared when i threw it at him and... OMFG!! I THINK HE IS STILL IN THE POKEBALL! oh well, he gets to leave on valentines day. i think i will battle ash with him. then i will suffer sassy's wrath becuase I PUT HIM IN A POKEBALL! then, i think amberamber: EMBER! ember (amber) will do my messages as i recover in the hospital. then i will sue sasuke because of abuse and stuff, then i will buy a bullwhip and attempt to whip him. then i will get a pokeball and repeat. amber: you planned your whole life, didnt you? yep!! oh, and maybe some day, i can trust you all with my secret of amber amber: what secret? you didnt tell yet? AND MY NAME IS FUCKING EMBER! oh hush! i dont wanna tell yet or they all might be scared. amber: sometimes, i wish i wasnt "human" HT

Itachi: The first person who throws a pokeball will be mangekyou Sharinganed into the next century! Zakura: Are there even any questions in there? Sakura: One or two, you have to look hard. Ash: damn…Sasuke must be like, a level 100 psychic!!

Everyone: … Crickets: -chirp, chirpItachi: What the hell? Ash: I know! I’ll catch Itachi, Sasuke’s evolved form, and then I’ll definitely beat H T! Itachi: You better n— Ash: -throws pokeball-Pokeball bounces off Itachi-You can’t catch another trainer’s pokemon!!Kiba: HEY! Are you trying to steal my Itachi?! Itachi: -angry twitchingAsh: N-no! I had no idea— Kiba: Yeah, yeah go team rocket you petty thief! Ash: I’m not thief! And I’ll prove it! I challenge you to a battle! Sakura: how the fuck does having a battle prove anything!? Kiba: I accept your challenge, shithead! –AttacksAsh: -running away from kunai-wielding Kiba- No! No! A pokemon battle!!! What kind of trainer are you?! Kiba: -stops- Ooooh, yeah, whatever. Itachi! Go! Kunai attack! -Itachi uses instead, MANGEKYOU SHARINGAN!!-Kiba and Ash are subjected to 96 hours of watching the latest plot-less badly voice-acted pokemon episodes…Ash/Kiba: -lie twitchingItachi: -in deep menacing voice- Now Itachi’s gonna finish this the fuck off with a GOKAKYU NO JUTSU BITCHES!!!!! -Kiba sits writhing while Ash blasts off into the distance, making a little star-

Itachi: What have we learned Kiba? Kiba: That I need at least six badges before I can control you? Itachi: -gokakyu’s him again- what was that?! Kiba: AHHH! YOU ARE YOUR OWN MASTER! –WhimperZakura: I think that was the single most pathetic thing I’ve ever seen. Me again! Naruto, you're the cutest one in there! Well...so is Haku...and of course, Neji's my teddy, so can't forget him...but you come pretty close! My question is for Itachi: What type of girl do you like? What's your type? Sharingan princess

Naruto: -humble nose-wipe- ehehe, thanks. Gaara: Oh it’s true you know…you’re just deliciously cute. Naruto: Gaaraaaaa, stop it. Gaara: heehee -puts arms around the still out-cold LeeKimimaro: Aren’t you the lucky bitch? Gaara: Yeah, are you gonna go kick Sakura’s ass? Kimimaro: …nah… Gaara: You sound a little tempted. Kimimaro: …hmpf. Itachi: My type of girl is a man. Orochimaru: What’s you type of man? Itachi: I like being seme, so usually a younger one, on the cuter side of sexy and, you know, dark hair and eyes…related to me… Jiraiya: OK! Enough! Orochimaru: Would you ever play uke? Jiraiya: Ew! No! Orochimaru: Not you, Itachi…and you will.

Jiraiya: o.O Itachi: If a guy was actually strong enough to hold me down and take control…then hell yes. That’d be hot. Neji-sensei (hopefully you’re so awesome. Will you teach me how to use your fighting styles? You're cool.I don't believe you're a slut but I do believe Ino is (I'm on your side Sakura. Ino's a whore and an over violent bitch). Do you like Tenten? Why does Sasuke not have pupils? Is he blind or something (After gazing upon Sakura's beauty he would be) Itachi Pokemon sux do you agree Neji do you have a problem with hyugacest. Do you have a problem with anyone kidnapping Hinata? -smirks evillySaskurestu

Shino: Neji-sensei? Kiba: -snicker- what, does she need training in, the ways of slut? Neji: -smacks Kiba- Anyway, I can’t teach you my techniques, because it’s really all natural. Kiba: Yep. Born a slut. Neji: -64-points KibaKiba: Why do people keep beating me up?! Neji: So anyway…who’s Tenten?! Everyone: -exasperated collapseItachi: So, yeah…it’s now my goal to kill all the pokemon and trainers EVER. Orochimaru: You know there’s like, millions of different pokemon right? Kiba: Aww, c’mon. It’s just about four hundred… Orochimaru: Whatever. Itachi: pft, whatever. Maybe it’ll give that world a damn plot. Orochimaru: Eh, I can see that. Neji: And Hyuuga-cest doesn’t really bother me that much. I mean, I don’t like girls that much, but Hinata is pretty cute…holy shit, we’ve got to save her!

Zakura: -sigh- yeah, yeah, whatever. –Snaps fingers, Hinata appearsHinata: -swoonNaruto: -as nearest to her catches her- H-Hinata! Are you ok? Hinata: -opens eyes- EEEEK!!!! Naruto: AHG! –Drops herHinata: -sits up slowly, rubbing head- oww…where is this place? Kiba: HINATA-CHAN!! –Runs up and hugs herNeji: Hey! I wanna hug her too! Shino: She’s my team-mate! Kurenai: She’s my student! -Everyone rushes to hug Hinata besides Zakura and ZabuzaZabuza: What? You don’t want to hug the obnoxiously cute girl? Zakura: -frozen and blushing furiously- She’s s-so…cute… Zabuza: Seriously? Zakura: -nodsZabuza: hehe, that’s hilarious. Zakura: what about you? Why don’t you hug her? Zabuza: I don’t do hugs. I get to make love with someone twice as cute as her every night. Zakura: Ah, I see that. Hinata: -is shyly hugging everyone as they all try to push forward and get their hugsIta/Oro: CUTIE!! –Double-hug HinataHinata: …? Orochimaru…and…Itachi…what? Kurenai: -pushes them away as they chuckle- Ignore that sweetie, how are you?

Hinata: Really, really confused…where am I? Neji: this weird room where we’re all trapped and forced to answer questions. No big deal. Hinata: …hwa? 1) How much of a discount are we talkin' Jiraiya? I accept noting under 50%!! 2) Kabuto...-Hands him some s- Could you prehaps teach me that regeneration technique? 3) Itachi-san...How light of Lavender do you want your room painted? I'm redecorating H.Q... 4) Zakura...I want you to Akatsuki. Our goal is to take over the world and enslave the human race!! I'll even buy you your own whip!-BlinksTenrai mestuki omoi-sakura

Jiraiya: I’ll give you sixty percent off if you actually flash me. Kurenai: -bashes head- Are you ever just gonna stay down? Hinata: Yee! Kurenai-sensei!! Kurenai: Oh, he deserved it. Kabuto: Oh…woah…what are these? Zakura: s, they go right on your eyeball, and correct your vision. It’d be good for fighting. Kabuto: Oh, cool. …how would I put these in? Zakura: By putting them on your finger and then on your eyeball. Kabuto: …-twitch- gross… Zakura: Oh come ON. You rip people’s hearts out for a living and you can’t put something on your eyeball? Kabuto: But it’s naaaaasty. Kimimaro: I’ll put ‘em in if you want. Kabuto: Agh! No! You’d just poke my eyes out worse! Kimimaro: I will not! Give me those! –Reaches for sKabuto: -pushing him away- No! Why do you people care if I wear s or not anyway?! Kimimaro: -trying to climb over Kabuto- Just give me the damn s!

Kabuto: Go away Kimi! –Falls over, dropping s- oof. And at any rate I can’t just teach the technique to a non-Shinobi… Kimimaro: -picks up sOrochimaru: -holds Kabuto’s arms behind his back- Put ‘em in! Kabuto: You’re gonna fucking kill me! Itachi: a nice pastel is good. Nothing dark. Jiraiya: You’re seriously just gonna let her do that? Itachi: I’ve learned that this is fan-girl world, when we go back outside, everything will fall back into its proper plot-line, so it doesn’t matter. Besides I’ve been meaning to paint my room… Zakura: a random evil organization for a free whip? HELL YES!!!! Kabuto: GET AWAY FROM MY EYES!! Orochimaru: Someone pry his eyes open! Or cut off his eyelids… Kabuto: agh! No! -Squelch, squilllllllllch, ickKabuto: -mooooanOrochimaru: Wow, I don’t think he’ll ever get those out… Kimimaro: -throws away Kabuto’s glasses and mutters- I certainly hope not. Sakura: What did you guys DO? Kabuto: my eyes…. Wow, you guys really got plastered. Kinda sorry I gave ya a mini-bar, but since no one seems to have noticed, I'll make it a wedding gift instead! Congrats, Haku and Zabuzaku! Weddings are so much FUN! Anyway, why is it so surprising that there are Naruto fans in the Navy? Seems about as normal as gay shinobi. Ne? Anywho, on to my questions. 1) Kyuubi, again. Why so mean? I'm guessing not enough love as a pup. S'okay, lotsa kids don't get loved enough. Toughens 'em up for the real world. Was it cause you had nine tails? Anyway, here's a hug from me, and my promise of friendship (bet that annoys the Hell out of you). 2) Shikamaru, we seem to share a problem. We're too smart for our friends. So my question is, how do you deal with all the idiocy and foolishness? Toning it out only works for so long, unfortunately. 3) All the ladies, what do you think of strapping, 6-foot, muscular Navy men?

Oh, and here's some music for ya. For Zakura, Kiba, Neji, Oro, Gaara, Zabuzaku, Hakuzaba, some Slipknot, Incubus and Metallica. Kurenai, Jiraiya, and Lee can have some Bruce Springsteen, Little Richie, and Morris Day & the Mother$#@%ing Time. Shino, Kimimaro, Oro (again) and Itachi, I got some Offspring, Nickelback and Evanescence. Sakura and Naruto, I can't believe you're actually ninja. I mean, pop? WTF? And for the almighty Kyuubi-dana, Kabuto and Shikamaru, Beethoven's Symphonies, with my best. I'm outty 50. Khellan Rafe

Haku: KYA!! Wedding present! Zabuza: Oh god, we’re getting presents now? Haku: YAY! YAY! YAY! Zabuza: -sighKyuubi: I SO need to kick this guy’s ass. Hinata: eep, who was that? Kiba: Oh, Naruto’s stomach’s just talking. Hinata: o.O Naruto: Kyuubi is not in my stomach! Kyuubi: That’s not what it feels like; damn it’s cramped in here. And how dare this mothafucka hug me! Kiba: You need some love, man. Itachi: Well why don’t you give it to him you dog-fucker. Hinata: -gasp- Kiba-kun you don’t really… Kiba: Oh, god, Hinata, NO! I don’t! Hinata: -still horrified by mental imagesKyuubi: I hate you all. Shikamaru: When I get tired of tuning idiots such as these out…I just leave. It’s not worth it to hang out with people that are really just troublesome fools. Naruto: ne Shikamaru…I’m not a troublesome idiot am I?

Shikamaru: I go on a day-to-day basis… Naruto: Oh… Orochimaru: If it makes you feel better, I think you’re troublesome. Naruto: -_Kure/Saku/Haku: -think about tall, strapping navy men- KYAAA!!! I WANT ONE!! Hinata: -bluuuuuuuushZakura: blarg. Men are gross…Haku, wtf, you’re a boy and you’re getting married… Haku: So? Oh! Yay! Music! –Hugs metallica CDItachi: Dude, what the fuck? Nickleback is alternative? Shino: Nah, Nickleback is crap-ternative. Itachi: -high-fivesKimimaro: -decides not to squeal over Nickleback cd and hides itLucifel: You all suck. It may not be alternative but Lips of an Angel is an awesome song. Lee: -mutters in sleep- Sakura-san has lips of an angel… Naruto: Dude, I bet that sounded really weird if you didn’t hear Lucifel… Gaara: -scowling- it did. Kyuubi: Hell yes! Let’s play this shit! Kiba: I am NOT listening to fucking Beethoven. Kyuubi: You gonna stop me bitch? Kiba: W-well, no, but…can’t you use headphones or something? Kyuubi: Oh yeah sure, let me just pull out my ipod and you can plug them right into Naruto’s navel. Naruto: gah! Don’t you dare!

Haku: What’s an outty fifty? Kiba: Jiraiya’s belly-button? Jiraiya: HEY! I have an inny! Orochimaru: And a cute one. Jiraiya: …-_-‘ To Zakura: do you ever get really pissed at sakura while in her mind and torture her in ways only known to kyuubi? Also since I dont have a girlfriend, im on a mini sugarhigh and its valentines day I will do this -kisses Lucifel on the cheek- Hope you liked it lol! Kurai no tsuki

Zakura: No, we’re connected more than Kyuubi, when in her I usually have the same goals in mind, and plus, it would just hurt me if I did anything to her. It sucks too… Kyuubi: Eh, don’t feel bad, I honestly can’t do that much to Naruto either…but someday…someday I will. Gaara: DUDE! This Lucifel bitch did NOT just get more action than me on Valentines Day! Lucifel: -giggling madly- I think I did. Teehee. Naruto who do u desire if not a girl? A) Sasuke B) Neji C) An animel d) Occimaru E) The forth Hokage Sakura if u were a boy who u date? Lee *gives a thousand fan art of Sakura* I want u to have good birth day *Smiles sadly* Itachi isf u want a Fuppic(sp?) u have to kiss me *Holding about three hundres Fuppic(sp?)* Yinyangwhitetiger

Naruto: NO! I am straight dammit! Kyuubi: From in here it looks like yondaime. Naruto: NONONO!! I just really ire him! Kyuubi: Riiiight. Naruto: I am straight…

Hinata: Why wouldn’t he be? Kiba: Because you’re cousin’s a whore. Hinata: W-what? He’s never even had a girlfriend…. Shino: Hinata, you are aware of other preferences right? Hinata: W-well, yes, but none of us are gay… Shino: …Hinata…you do know Kiba and I together don’t you? Hinata: O.O WHAT?! Shino: -sigh- why did you think we spent so much time together? Hinata: W-well…you’re on the same team and… Shino: Hinata, when we were together for teamwork we’d invite you… Kiba: Yeah, when we spent time alone it was to have ionate sex on my floor. Hinata: -twitchShino: Dammit, Kiba, you broke her. Sakura: If I was a boy? I don’t know…probably Sasuke still. That kind of love transcends gender… Zakura: And you want to have kinky man sex with him Sakura: NO! Zakura: You need to stop lying to yourself bitch, we all saw the tape. Sakura: …I don’t know what you’re talking about. Itachi: OMG!! I don’t want to kiss a girl, and I’m suffering enough from frap depravation as it is! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?!? –Pant, pant, pantOrochimaru: He’ll never last the next day and a half. Zakura: I’ll take that bet. If he doesn’t, I’ll let you out for a whole chapter to do whatever you please.

Orochimaru: And if he does? Zakura: Then you owe me a favor. Orochimaru: That’s it? Zakura: Yep, one favor, any time I ask, whatever I ask. Deal? Orochimaru: Deal. Kya! Shikamaru!! Daisuki yo! Shikamarukun shitsumon ga arimasu! Shikamaru no sukina hito wa dare desu ka? Choujikun ka Temarichan desu ka? Oshieru oneigaishimasu! Orochimarusama, ke o totemo gomenesai! Jiraiyasan mou gomenesai. Demo sa okurimono ga arimasu yo. Tada! Orochimarusama ni Redfrog (akai kaeru) no fanfikushon no "End of an Era" kara 'heaa renshonin poshon'o agemasu! (Totemou tanoshii fanfiku desu yo) Yurusu oneigaishimasu. ~Kohaku Kawa

Kiba: What the hell is she speaking? Shikamaru: That’s Japanese…our language… Kiba: What the fuck are you talking about? We speak Ninjanese. Everyone besides Naruto: -stares blanklyNaruto: What’s everyone’s problem? Don’t we…? Shikamaru: Just, shut up Naruto. Lucifel: I don’t even know what the hell she’s saying…I’m making up shit. Shikamaru: I’M GAY…wtf? Zakura: You just answered an arbitrarily created question. Shikamaru: She can’t…do that… Neji: You’re GAY?! Shikamaru: Kind of…bi really. Neji: Well, shit, I totally would have tried to get on you… Shikamaru: -twitch-

Orochimaru: I lost my virginity when I was ten. Jiraiya: …how?! Orochimaru: Boys will be boys. Me and this one kid were both really curious about sex and BAM Suddenly we were going at it. Kurenai: So you were always a freak? Orochimaru: Pretty much. Zakura: ARG!! I’m still pissed that Valentines Day ed and nothing happened!! Gaara: -glances around sketchily- … -leans down and kisses LeeLee: -small smile even as he sleepsHaku: Well, we have a date now! March 18. Zabuza-san and I will be getting married! Zakura: -rants about the lack of romanceHinata: Ano…Zakura-chan, if you feel so bad about it you can have this chocolate bar oka-san gave me. –Hands chocolate barZakura: -taking chocolate bar nervously, blushing like crazyhawathankgrgljkzfmgumhwa…-faintsKyuubi: So anyway…-Blasts classical music-

Ask Sakura 18 Zakura: TURN IT OFF!!! DAMN YOU ALL!! I CAN’T STAND THIS FUCKING CLASSICAL MUSIC ANYMORE!! WE’VE BEEN LISTENING TO IT ALL DAY!!!! Kyuubi: Bitch, don’t make me go demon-fox on your ass. I will come out there and smack your bitch-ass self. Orochimaru: Did Kyuubi just talk ghetto-style? Naruto: This keeps really freaking me out… Hinata: …-eyes Naruto shylyItachi: -is sitting in a corner muttering softly- Itachi wants a frappuccino, yes he does but no, no he can’t have it…Itachi’s a good boy he won’t drink the frappuccino… Kurenai: what does he even get if he lasts three days? Zakura: That’s the best part, absolutely fucking nothing. Some ?’s for everyone: 1- If u were stranded in a deserted island what would be ur choice of food, drink & reading? This one goes to Naruto-kun: how come ur still hung up over Sakura-san? Y not look at...Let’s say Hinata-chan? ^^ Haku: ice cream, lemonade and Edgar Allen Poe!! Zakura: Yup classic Hak--wait, WHAT? Edgar Allen fucking Poe? Haku: -nodsZakura: Oook Zabuza: Drink of choice, water, I don’t read anything but my bingo book, and my food of choice would be Haku. Haku: teehee.

Shikamaru: Water, beans and the largest book on philosophy I could find. Naruto: Beans?! Shikamaru: They have pretty much the most of your necessary supplements of any food. Naruto: Ok well, I’m not coming to your island…pu… Shikamaru: -rolls eyesKiba: I’d want meat, coffee and hentai!!! Shino: -rolls eyes- Water, salad, and more of these bug encyclopedias… Naruto: Ramen!! And Ramune soda! And um…well, I don’t read much… Sakura: Ugh, Naruto, you’re so dumb! Naruto: -whimperLee: -wakes up suddenly- I would take lots of books about…smart things! For I am very brilliant!! Gaara: -disappointed that Lee is out of his lap now.- What are you talking about? Lee: To show Sakura-san how smart I am! I would also bring lots of energy drinks and foods so I can train constantly!! Gaara: pfft, whatever…I’d bring frappuccinos, celery and peanut butter and the Broken Sky series. Zakura: Ok, WTF is Broken Sky, and why the fuck would you bring celery and peanut butter?! Gaara: I like celery and peanut butter. Lucifel: THE BROKEN SKY SERIES FUCKING ROCKS!!!! Gaara: Yep…-twitch- who the fuck? Lucifel: -whistles innocentlyOrochimaru: I’d want green tea, sushi, and A scroll of all the jutsu ever!! Jiraiya: I’d want sake and fried rice, and I don’t need reading material so long as I have

writing material…ehehe. Kabuto: ugh, anyway, Shikamaru has the food and water down smartly, and honestly some philosophy might be nice. Shikamaru: At least not everyone’s totally retarded. Kimimaro: Ano, probably tea and rice. Zakura: And to read? Kimimaro: Oh I…I can’t read… Kabuto: What? You can’t? Kimimaro: no…I was never taught as a child and well…for my life it was never really necessary. Kabuto: Damn. Orochimaru: Ah! I would’ve taught you!! Jiraiya: Y’know…this whole father-complex-but-I’m-gonna-screw-you-too thing is a litttttle creepy. Orochimaru: Pff, whatever. Neji: I would want-Kiba: no, no, let me guess. You’d want Sasuke’s juices for supplement and books on how to be a better whore. Neji: Well…that’s better than what I was gonna say. Kiba: -to Shino so he’s turned around- Huh, he took that better that I thought he wou--urk -is stabbed in the back by kunaiShino: Yup, he took it real well. Sakura: I’d take water and lots of fruit, and I’d bring text books!! Zakura: Eugh, you health-conscious brainy WHORE. I‘d bring some beer and pizza and a lot of hard-core girl-on-girl magazines!! Hinata: Ano, why is Sakura-san split in half?

Shino: you just now noticed? Hinata: -blushKurenai: -sigh- kids…I would bring water and salad Zakura: Are you serious? Kurenai: What? I like salad…oh, and I read a lot of spiritual books, so I’d probably want some of those. Naruto: Hinata, what would you bring? Hinata: hwa? I have to answer? Zakura: Yeah, it’s kind of the rule. This place fucking rocks. Hinata: ano well…I’d bring some tea and…umm…some sushi…and…ano…-mumbleNeji: Huh? Come again? Hinata: Some romance novels…-Gasps and covers mouthNeji: Holy SHIT Hinata!!! -starts laughing hystericallyKiba: We-he-ell, Hinata’s got a little secret fantasy life, eh? Hinata: No! I didn’t…I mean…I don’t…-covers bright red faceOrochimaru: So…anyone want to make Itachi answer? Itachi: Frappuccinos…must…have…FRAPPUCCINOS!! -foams a little at the mouthEveryone: Naaaah. Naruto: Hinata? Ano…well…-looks over at Hinata and blushes- she’s cute and everything but…umm…I mean Sakura-chan… Zakura: He SO wants in Hinata’s pants. Naruto: I DO NOT!! Hinata: -blushes harder1. Will you ask Lee-kun if he'll go out with me? I'm a 13-year-old girl with short brown hair and hazel eyes. I'm 5ft 3 1/2in. tall. 2. Why are you so annoying?

Lee, will you go out with me? Please? If you say yes I'll persuade Lucifel to let you out! ( only if it was to go on a date with me that is!) -LeesLover7 PS: -Hands Itachi anger management book- Read this. Zakura: Hmm, hey Lee!! What’s your type? Lee:-is working out- Pink hair and green eyes! And the body type and personality of only one girl!! Zakura: Sorry, outta luck kiddo. Besides, you couldn’t persuade Lucifel to let Lee out of here until he and Gaara have kinky sex. Lucifel: Damn straight. Sakura: Ewww! Why!? Lee: Don’t be ridiculous! Gaara and I are friends! We wouldn’t do something like that. Gaara: -shifty eyesSakura: Oh come on, I’M annoying? Have you read some of the stupid fan mail we’ve got? Zakura: First of all, way to go on being a bitch all by yourself. Sakura: -embarrassed blushZakura: Secondly, girl, I’d have to say that at least 60% of people find you FUCKING ANNOYING. Sakura: Oh really? I don’t see it. Lucifel: That’s because they’re so common I usually edit it out. Sakura: -crushed- R-really…? Lucifel/Zaku: Ayup. Sakura: -sulks over to her sleeping bago.o hehe...sorry Zakura about the whole stabbing you thing. I had sniffed a few sharpies that day :D I am still very sad that Zabuza will not let me plan the wedding -cries- Can I at least come to the wedding? Kankuro is scaring me with his talk of Sandcest. Is there any way to make him stop? You all didn't answer my question last time. Why is Sasuke's

hair shaped like a chicken butt? LEE GIVE UP ON SAKURA! GAARA LOVES YOU! ...oh hi Gaara -wavesBella-QueenOfTehWaffles Zakura: meh, I guess that’s a good enough excuse. It’s not like there’s a kid alive who hasn’t gotten high off of white-out or sharpies at some point in their life. Haku: Of COURSE you can come to the wedding! I said all the fans are invited! Zabuza: This is gonna be one crazy wedding…if I wasn’t already dead it would probably kill me. Orochimaru: Does this make you and Haku necrophiliac’s? Zabuza: -raises eyebrowGaara: Nope, Kankurou’s just kind of like that… Kabuto: Well there is one way… -flashes kunaiGaara: NO. Fuck you. Kabuto: Too bad… Sakura: ugh, just when I start thinking for a creepy villain you’re not that bad… Kabuto: I try, dear. Sakura: -rolls eyesNaruto: hehehe, Sasuke’s head is a chicken butt!! Sakura: It is not!! Orochimaru: it so IS! But I can’t imagine why…Itachi? Itachi: Sasuke? Sasuke’s good…but not as good as frappuccinos…-twitch, twitchLee: -scooting to the far end of the room away from Itachi- Don’t be silly. Gaara and my relationship is not like that! Gaara: -longingly sad look at LeeZakura: So, before we have any more big controversial revealing of flamboyant lovefests—

Jiraiya: Wait…what was the first one? Naruto: Yeah, we haven’t really had any… Zakura: …please tell me your not all too drunk to that Sakura and Kabuto made out. Saku/Kabu: AAAAAH!!! NOOO!!! Everyone else (besides Lee): WHAT?! Lee: Gah! I had not forgotten but…wanted not to think about it! –dramatic pose of gloomZakura: Well, while you all freak out about that, AGAIN, I’ll continue; Orochimaru: What’s to freak out about? I totally saw it coming. Kurenai: Same here. Zakura: Wow, some people have kept their brains throughout this…I need to fix that. A.H.S: -Peeps an eye from around her chair- Are they gone yet? Sasori: Yes,...Moranasama...All the damn fangirls/boys are gone. A.H.S: -Squeals and pops out, plopping into his lap- Good! Cause I'm gonna kill that fish-face and Deidara! -Grumbles, mourning the catastrophy of her newer appearance, consisting of a navy, way too tight Uchicha shirt and white capris along with shorter, chicken butt-ish hair.- Sasori: But I think you look cute!! A.H.S: Fuck you! Anyways! Before this whole Sasuke transformation prank turns into its own full out slaughter! -Readjusts the thick gold band around her headZakura, Since you chose to accept, Your initiation is to pants everylast person there! Including yourself. Jiraiya...You'll get flashed the moment you get here with the goods in hand. Itachi, Deidara also wants to know If you want any other designs in your room while he paints. -Grumbles about said blond while pulling at the huge ass neck band, flashing a bright red Ai kanji on her neckLastly...Sakura. How would you like to learn a brand new jutsu I've been working on as well as train under me? -couughes, blushingJiraiya: YES!!! FLASHAGE!! Orochimaru: Ooooh, I bet girl Sasuke would be cute… Itachi: Hehe, yeah…mmm, yummy…the cow goes moo. Kiba: Really? I totally thought it barked… -rolls eyes- Itachi’s gotten fucking weird.

Deidara: He was always weird…yeah… Kiba: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! Deidara: I am Deidara, master of art. Kiba: Ok… Deidara: And member of the Akatsuki. Kiba: AGH!! Gaara: YOU!!! –lungesDeidara: -catches Gaara’s shoulders and tosses him aside- you’re cute…yeah. Don’t make me hurt your cute face…yeah. Gaara: -glowersItachi: It’s Deidara…he’s my cat’s psychologist… Deidara: …what’s wrong with Itachi? Itachi: I can’t have them…my precious…and they’re so close I can almost hear them! Deidara: …is he talking about Sasuke…yeah? Orochimaru: No, Frappuccinos. Deidara: Oh, I can see that…yeah… Naruto: GRH! Deidara: ? Naruto: All the yeahs drive me fucking insane!! Deidara: teeheehee Itachi: The duck goes meow… Deidara: -sits next to Itachi and pats his shoulder- Yes, Itachi, yes it does. I noticed you had a frappuccino fountain…yeah. Why doesn’t he drink out of that? Zakura: He can’t, the fans requested a three day block from Frappuccinos.

Deidara: Why? Zakura: Probably hoping for this result. Anyway, I’ve got business to attend to. –snaps finger and everyone’s pants fall down. Everyone besides Orochimaru are wearing underwear of some sort.Zakura: -glances at Hinata in pink boy-shorts- … Dear god…-nosebleedHinata: KYAAAAA!! –embarrassedly tries to pulls her pants up, trips, and falls down- … -sits up cryingNeji/Naru/Kure/Shin/Kiba: -run over to comfort her. Kiba doesn’t bother to pull his pants up yetJiraiya: I THINK A SPOTTED A THONG ON KURENAI!! Kurenai: -throws kunaiJiraiya: GAH! –gets stabbed in the eyeKurenai: -turns back to Hinata- don’t cry sweetie, you’ll be fine. KIBA! Pull your pants up! Kiba: I’m in boxers! It’s not a big deal! Kurenai: Bull shit it’s not. Naruto: -snickers at Kiba’s tan-lineHinata: -pulls up pants and sniffles-GROUP HUGDeidara: that’s kind of gross…yeah. Orochimaru: I think it’s cute!! Deidara:-concerned glance- You’ve changed…yeah… Orochimaru: :3 Zakura: -still distracted by images of Hinata’s cute underwearJiraiya: Weren’t you painting Itachi’s room for a.h.s.?

Deidara: Why do you think I ran away…yeah? Jiraiya: Ah, I see. Deidara: but yeah, do you want any pretty designs Itachi? Itachi: Ducks…and tractors…lots of chicken butts… Deidara: -snicker- Ok, I’ll keep that in mind… Zakura: New jutsu…yeah sure…-still staring at HinataSakura: Zakura!! I’m gonna kill you for that pantsing thing!! Kabuto: Cute granny-panties Sakura. Sakura: Cute tidy-whities Kabuto! Kabu/Saku: -GLARETo help you guys get over missing Valentines Day here is a crate full of Godiva chocolates and heart-shaped cream puffs. Itachi: To apologize for the frap ban, I would like to bestow upon you an unlimited giftcard to Starbucks. please forgive me. Question: Is Tobi always a ditz? And would you ever sleep with Kakashi? Haku: Yay your getting married! *throws confetti* As an early wedding gift, youll get a week long stay in the Bora Bora Nui Resort in Tahiti, free of charge(cause your so darn cute), for your honeymoon. The tickets will be waiting for you whenever you get out. Question: What were you thinking before Kakashi ran you through with his Chidori?. Peace out, Fangirl10174 Kurenai: CHOCOLATE!! Zakura: -snaps out of it- Dammit, Kurenai if you hoarde the chocolate one more time I’m gonna— Kurenai: huh? –has already eaten all the chocolateZakura: …never mind. Itachi: -takes giftcard…and tries to eat-

Deidara: -takes half-chewed card out of his mouth- Now, now Itachi, that’s not food… yeah. Itachi: I wanna eat the convertible. Deidara: this is an expensive convertible, Itachi…no eating, yeah? Itachi: Wanna eat it…mmm frappuccinos…all over my body… Deidara: you’re lucky you’re sexy…yeah Itachi: mmmm, frappucinos…I’m gonna eat Kakashi Deidara: Kakashi’s kind of sexy…yeah Itachi: Kakashi’s my bitch. Deidara: Well, Tobi’s my bitch. Itachi: I win. Kakashi’s not an airhead…he gives me pizza. Deidara: …yeah… Haku: YAY!! We have honeymoon destination!! Zabuza: Fucking Tahiti? Haku: YAY! Zabuza: Whatever… Haku: Oh, and I was only thinking that I had to protect my Zabuza-san. –smileDeidara: -thinks- Woah, holy shit…that kid’s cute… KYUUBI-CHAN! YOU ARE SO FUZZY! YAY! heh heh, sorry, i just adore fuzzy animals! amber: eh, ive seen better. whatever. your just jelous. amber: of what? nevermind... anyway, ITACHI! are you really the evolved form of sasuke? OMG! i have gone through my whole life not knowing that! ACK!! hm, then what is the evolved form of you? oh, i have a message for ash: SASUKE HAS 9 ON EVERY ABILITY JACKASS! amber: you think hes hot dont you? huh? god your retarded! i am in luv with sasuke! amber: i thought you were in luv with that other guy? what was his name? hm... well, i love them both! they both have some sort of dark past. i have no freaking clue why

i like em, i am just the opposite of them infact but, oh well. amber: kay... sup everyone? itachi! why dont you have your own organization of super villians? your stupid ember... amber: I CAN KILL YOU WHENEVER I WANT ITCH!! ACK! OKAY!! OKAY! I WILL SHUT UP NOW! DONT KILL ME MASTER!! amber: now, fetch me some coco! YES MASTER! amber: oh yeah. life is good... well, i have to go! bye! Kyuubi: What the fuck? I’m not fuzzy you fuckers!! Deidara: …was that Kyuubi? Zakura: Yeah, he talks every now and then. Deidara: …o.O Itachi: evolved from Sasuke? No, no, the evolve form of Sasuke is Fall Out boy. Orochimaru: -snickerItachi: I DO have a organization…Team Rocket. Giovanni’s my bitch…I make meowth frappuccinos…. Zakura: Hehe, I wonder how Sasuke’s coping with those two bitches? I like the amber one…Hey, while you’re at it get me some coco!! Orochimaru: Well, I’m sure Itachi hit him hard enough to keep him happy for a while. Deidara: Oh…was he fucking his brother again…yeah? Orochimaru: Yeah, you know you’re taking all this weirdness pretty well. Deidara: Hello? Mouths on my palms? Orochimaru: Oh yeah…heh. OMG!! Deidara: WHAT?!?! Orochimaru: You could jack a guy off AND give a blow job at the same time!!! Deidara: You think I’ve never done that before? Orochimaru: …WHY DID I LEAVE AKATSUKI?!?!? Lips of an Angel is Hinder, not Nickelback. And Nickelback and Evanescence kick ass

(Hero and Bring Me To Life are my songs!). Just needed to get that out of the way. 1. Gaara, can you turn sand into glass and vice versa? 2. Shino, can your bugs eat demonic chakra, or would it poison them? 3. Kankuro... is still asleep. (instead, steals Karasu, replacing it with one of those 3-anda-half-foot-tall Barbie dolls, and goes on a comedy tour with Karasu) When Kankuro wakes up with a large Barbie doll on his back, that'll be my present. Sorry about the laxatives! Lucifel: D’oh! I knew that…shit I guess Nickleback is crap… Kimimaro: -mumbling- it’s not like you didn’t know that…I said I love you and I swear I still do…and it must have been so bad…CUZ LIVING WITH ME MUST HAVE DAMN NEAR KILLED YOU!!! –Realizes he is no longer singing just to himself-chirp, chirpDeidara: Itachi, stop that chirping. Itachi: I’m a lion. Kabuto: damn Kimimaro… Kimimaro: -blushblushblushKabuto: you’ve got a nice singing voice. Kimimaro: huh? Gaara: -whistlesOrochimaru: no shit, I had no clue you could sing like. Kimimaro: Oh I…I never… Haku: YOU HAVE TO SING AT MY WEDDING!!! Kimimaro: W-what? Haku: Here! Come learn my favorite songs!! Kimimaro: Hwa? Zakura: Well that was…nothing out of the norm for here… Gaara: Anyway…I’ve never tried, but I bet I could…

Shino: No, they couldn’t. They would get sick and then yeah, probably die. There are versions of the bugs that eat demon chakra. Kyuubi: I WANT SOME!! Shino: …no. They’re horrible things. Even for bugs. Kankuro: -in his sleep- hehe….snrk…Temari Barbie… Sakura: Seriously, your brother is really creepy… Gaara: yeah… Sakura: you know…it’s weird that the laxative haven’t kick in y— -collective gurgleeveryone: SHIT!!! –runs to bathroomsZakura: …well…hmm. –realizes she’s alone in a room with Hinata and blushesHinata: -fidgetsZakura: -fidgets and sighsHinata: -starts playing with her hair. Zakura: -blush-a long time later they all file in moaningSakura: I’m gonna…kill him… Zakura: -shrugs and glances at Hinata againShikamaru I love you! Who do you care for the most right now? Doesn't have to be the one you love. Orochimarusama I love you so much!! I am so sorry about what happened to your hair! can you ever forgive me? And because I get one more thing, here is a set of miscelanious potions- 2 drk orange, 1 neon blue, 4 brown, 4 oily red, 2 yellow, 2 pale green, 2 purple, 2 drk blue. Everyone gets one and the rest go to Zakura Shikamaru: -waves- Ano…Choji or my father I guess.

Sakura: What about your mother? Shikamaru: I'm not gonna lie, I get along better with my father. Sakura: Damn, burn on your mother. Orochimaru: Oh hi…YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! Jiraiya: But I like your short hair. Orochimaru: Did I tell you lately that I love you, Kawa? OOH!! I’ll take the oily red potion!! Naruto: ORANGE!!! Hinata: Ano…-takes pale greenDeidara: -takes a red and hands Itachi a purple- Here ya go. Itachi: Frappuccino?...grape frappuccino… -drinks potionJiraiya: -takes redKurenai: -takes yellowGaara: -takes neon blueKimimaro: -takes pale greenShikamaru: -takes yellowKabuto: -takes purpleSakura: -takes redShino: -takes redKiba: -takes brownNeji: -takes orangeHaku: -takes brownZabuza: -takes drk blueZakura: So I’m left with a blue and a brown? Thrilling…

Itachi: I feel like flowers… Deidara: what? It’s because of that potion…yeah… Itachi: huh. –DisappearsDeidara: fuck, we lost Itachi. NO! My ears! Clasical music, it burns! For the wedding I give Haku beautiful Kimono for the guest, they are Dark red Japanese silk with cherry blossoms printed on them. I have a question for Hinata casue she's so awesome, How do you feel being stuck in a room with a bunch of random homosexuals and a few bi people and Naruto is the only guy who's straight? I'm just curios, besides screwing each other, what are your hobbies? Anyway I hope you guys have fun being tortured by Lucifel From, ~Rose Orochimaru: Hey, Kabuto it’s your fangirl. Kabuto: Ack! Hide me! Dammit, are there any purple potions left?! Sakura: Yeeees, you took one. Kabuto: What? Oh yeah! –drinks- …-disappearsItachi: hi. Kabuto: Woah, I can see you? Wait…I didn’t just go invisible did I? Itachi: nope. And I have no clue where we are. Kabuto: you seem fairly…sane. Itachi: The potion tasted vaguely of Frappuccinos, I’m good. Kabuto: Hey…now that you mention it you’re right…but…still…we’re kind of in a room full of skeletons. Itachi: -looks around and realizes that they are indeed in a stone room with chains and skeletons in abundance all around- Well, Fuck. -Back in the roomSakura: Kabuto? Itachi? If you guys are around here still you better not be about to cuase any trouble!

Orochimaru: No, no, Itachi’s rambling has stopped…I think they’re totally gone. Sakura: damn…Oh well, let’s go on. Hinata: What? Oh well…I never really thought they were all gay…I’m kind of… shocked… Kiba: No kidding? Really? Shino: Don’t be mean. Kiba: -rolls eyesNeji: there are hobbies besides screwing? Kiba: not for you, obviously. Neji: -flips the finger- I was joking, dick-wad. I also play shogi. Shikamaru: -perks up- Wanna play? Neji: And get my ass kicked? …sure, why not. -they pull out a shogi board (THANKS KRYAH!!) and set upLee: TRAINING!!! Neji: Of course… Zakura: We don’t have time for everyone, if anyone has an interesting hobby we didn’t already know, go ahead or we’ll move on. Naruto: I’m trying to make the perfect ramen! Zakura: Damn you, no one’s surprised by your ramen obsession! Haku: I play electric guitar! Everyone: …what? Zabuza: I taught him…he’s pretty damn good. Kiba: Wow, never would’ve thought it…we should jam sometime. Haku: you play guitar?

Kiba: Yeah a lit--Haku: YOU HAVE TO PLAY AT MY WEDDING!!! Kiba: Oh, ok.. Haku: come over here and you and Kimimaro can work together! Kiba: Shino plays piano… Shino: DAMN YOU!! Haku: You too!! You can play too!! -they pull Shino overZakura: Anyone else? Deidara: Actually I— Zakura: Ok, let’s move on. why is everyone in here gay?! Zakura: Technically Naruto, Hinata, Kurenai, Sakura, Jiraiya, Kiba, Kankuro, Kabuto and Shikamaru are all bi. Naru/Saku/Kure: I’m STRAIGHT! Zakura: Whatever… Hinata: is it true you faint because you think perverted thoughts about Naruto? Itachi: who would have sex with in the Akatsuki if you had to have sex with one of them Kurenai: stop hitting Jaraiya, he cant help it if his senileness causes him to say perverted things love, wewacian Hinata: no! I don’t always faint…-blushNeji: Besides, she thinks dirty thoughts means thinking about kissing him. Hinata: -blushblushZakura: god DAMN that’s cute… Itachi: -letter floats in front of his face- huh? –reads- Oh, damn, the questions are finding us even here.

Kabuto: -sigh- Of course… Itachi: Oh, Deidara probably. He’s sexy enough. Kurenai: It’s not his senileness, it’s just plain, old Jiraiya, Orochimaru: Yeah….he’s pretty much always been like that. I'm back and will be giving a presents and present's to be for everybody a Sterio go crazy but you have to listen to these to album's first *tosses Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge and Black Parade CD by My Chemical Romance* some of you might actually like it it's Rock and Emo and kinda has to do with some love or whatever anyway if you don't listen to both Albums all the way through I'll take the Sterio away cause I'm sure nobody there has a CD player. Hinata-Chan glad you're there and since you didn't get any CD's just tell me if you want any. Hinata-Chan when are you going to tell you know who about you know what?*Smirks* Naruto is it possible you're related to Deidara cause you both have blonde hair and Azure eyes? Ooh I forgot one CD *tosses A Death-Grip on Yesterday by Atreyu* you have to listen to that one as well Ja Ne. Zakura: Aw fuck no. No emo. Haku: Aww, but the stereo… Kiba: Yeah, it’ll be nice to have a stereo, it’s just three cds… Zabuza: I’m with the chick. NO EMO. Kyuubi: I’m fine with the classical music. Shikamaru: how were you playing that if we don’t have a stereo? Kyuubi: But I do. In here. Naruto: What the hell?! Kyuubi: Yeah I’ve got a pretty nice pad back here, nicer than your shit-hole apartment… Hinata: Ano…I don’t….I mean… Naruto: Ne, ne! Who do you have to tell what? You should be bold Hinata! Hinata: -bluuushZakura: ANYway…relation? Deidara: I can guarantee not…yeah

Naruto: Ewww!! Hello everyone, For Kyuubi- I think you totally rock and you have made become a little obsessed with demon foxes. So my question who do you think would win in a fight between you and Youko Kurama/Shuichii Minamono? For Kiba- I wanted to say that I love you and your one of my favorites and I think your totally hot. My problem is my dad doesn't like my dog and threatens to give him away to people though he is never serious if he actually did would you keep him for me? For Gaara- I LOVE YOU! I think ur so sexy and hot, ur also the background on my computer so I get to see u everyday. *Glomps quickly* Can I have your autograph? Kyuubi: Eh, Yoko’s pretty tough, and maybe back in his prime he coulda done something but nowadays with all his human shit holding him down…not so much. Kiba: Yeah! About time I got so more loving! Of COURSE I’d take your dog! Shino: -rolls eyes- Can’t imagine WHY you have fans… Kiba: Shino…don’t hate me…-puppy eyesShino: -ignoresKiba: -whimpersGaara: Gah! NO HUGGING! Go away! Zakura: I think that’s a ‘no’ bitch. yea I gots a question for kimmimaro 1. do you think that you and tayuya will ever be together, 'cos i saw some fics about u two and on deviant there was one where you two r making out ionately on sum hill. 2. for orochimaru-you were actually quite cool as a little kid, heck my stepsis thought u were hot. why do u not wear underwear? 3 kurenai-did u know kakashi gave u a nickname in a fic i read quite recently, it was kuku-chan, nd u nd anko got into a catfight over him. so do u hav a thing for kakashi?? cos he keeps mentioning u nd sum baby. Kimimaro: Uh…no way in hell. Orochimaru: Come on, I think you’d be cute… Kimimaro: I don’t…go that way…

Orochimaru: KYA! YAY! Jiraiya: -rolls eyesOrochimaru: Oh…the underwear thing. Yeah, I usually do wear underwear but I got brought here on laundry day and Kabuto’s lazy ass hadn’t done the laundry yet. Kabuto: ACHOO!! Huh…I feel insulted for some reason… Itachi: Eh, they’re probably just making fun of you as usual. Kabuto: Whatever. Suddenly, a loud all-powerful voice said: You find yourself in a stone room with chains on the wall and skeletons scattered about. What do you do? Kabuto: What the fuck? Why do you care? Who the fuck are you? Itachi: I dunno but…I suddenly have a strong urge to loot skeletons… Kabuto: Weird…me too. But why would there be loot on the skeletons of prisoners? -They lootOminous voice: You find nothing on the skeletons. Kabuto: I knew we wouldn’t! What the hell? Ominous voice: What else would you like to do? Kabuto: Aww, shit now I have an urge to kick down the door. Ominous voice: You’re the cleric, why would YOU kick down a door? Kabuto: I DON’T KNOW!! And I’m not a fucking cleric! –Gasps- oh no… Itachi: -kicks doorOminous voice: the door opens easily into a long, dark hallway. -The door opens on to a long dark hallwayItachi: -turning back to Kabuto- What about oh no? Kabuto: -going paler- We’re…in a D&D campaign…

DUN DUN DUNNNN Kurenai: Aww, shit, yeah he read that too and now he won’t leave me alone with the damn ku-ku-chan shit…and trust me, neither Anko nor I are into Kakashi. Zakura: You’re both lesbian? Kurenai: You wish. Zakura: Yes I do. Yay you liked the kiss! Now Im very happy! Now Kyuubi have you had a wife? Shikamaru do you actually wish Neji was your bitch? And finally Orochimaru was your mom a snake? See you all later! Lucifel: FUCK YEAH I liked the kiss!! Lee: How does one kiss a voice? Lucifel: I’m not fucking disembodied. Lee: SO you can be found! –Searches againLucifel: Good luck dumbass… Kyuubi: No wife, but lotsa bitches… Zakura: Hell yeah, Kyuubi’s a playa Kyuubi: Damn straight bitch. Shikamaru: I actually don’t. That’s game, Neji…again. Neji: Dammit! Best seven outta ten? Shikamaru: …sure. Orochimaru: No but your mom was fucking a snake. I had to save him because she was suffocating the poor thing. Jiraiya: You’re really taking this personally aren’t you? Orochimaru: What? No. If I was I’d mention that his/her mom has a snake growing is you know what I mean. Jiraiya: -_-

Lee-san: insult Gai-senpai/Sakura ( u choose) Naruto-san Stay quiet for three days since u didn't get a Valentine's is it ok if I hug u? * hugs Zakura* l4t3r!! whatthehellwasithinkin Lee: -GASP- I-I can’t! Zakura: Y-you have to! Lee: But…But… Zakura: Just insult Gai! He’s not even here! Lee: I…fine…Gai is not as youthful as he thinks he is! Zakura: -rolls eyes- What a burn… Lee: I feel dirty…. Naruto: NO! I REFUSE!! Zakura: You have to. Naruto: But I— Zakura: -slaps- SHUT UP BITCH! Naruto: I’ll only do this if you treat me to ramen when it’s over. Zakura: Fine, but if you slip up even once you owe me stimulation. Naruto: W-what? Zakura: You heard me! We gotta deal? Naruto: -nods and they shake handsZakura: Great. I’ll be keeping my ears open….oh, and sure, go ahead. –Accepts hugShino: Oh GOD, all this leet is driving me crazy! Kiba: Wh4t, n00b? Shino: Bitch of you— Kiba: I thought you were ignoring me.

Shino: I—damn you! –Turns away againKiba: -satisfied chuckleJiraiya: Now that your officially gay, Kakashi,who is right next to me,wants to know if you will now be writing about men insted of women in your book "makeout paradise".(u were doing it w/ Orochimaru-chan) Sakura:ok...how am i gonna say this... GET IN KABUTO'S PANTS! I know you want to... *shifty eyes**wiggles eyebrows* Zakura: U ROCK! -throws giant cookieI love death metal and alternate too! -Sarafina day! Jiraiya: I’M NOT GAY!! Orochimaru: But you are bi. Jiraiya: Nooooo Orochimaru: Yesssss Jiraiya: -moan- either way I will always be writing about women! ALWAYS!! Orochimaru: Aww… Sakura: Gross, never. Zakura: You’re just pissed because you couldn’t. Sakura: Bull SHIT I couldn’t. Zakura: Whatever –munches giant cookieI have some questions and Lucifel what timezone are you in because in my timezone the friken chapter didn't get reales until 1:00AM I waited. Zakura: If you know all the things Sakura has ever thought has she ever had any "bad" thoughts about anyone exept Sasuke who is gay Sakura: You and Kabuto can't get together its weird don't do Kabutos in love with your archenemy that would be majorly inconvient

Hinata: What are your views on hyugacest? Lucifel: USA central time…I think it was like eleven or so here… Zakura: Oh HELL yeah. Kakashi, Asuma, Kabuto, Kiba… Sakura: STOP IT!! Zakura: Yeah, basically a lot of people. Sakura: And in any case Kabuto and me are not getting together! He’s not even here right now! Zakura: Ehehe, no he’s not… Sakura: Why? Where is he? Zakura: Oh no idea…-snickerSakura: -worried- Well…whatever… Hinata: What’s Hyuugacest mean? Neji: When people draw/write making out. Hinata: -blushes- No! I mean…we don’t…I… Neji: Calm down, you know I’m gay. Hinata: -phewV\Aw,

Kyuubi doesn't like hugs! Maybe he likes belly rubs, or a scratch behind the ears? *gives both* There ya go! Heheh, I love it that you can't do a DAMN THING to me, but I can pester you all I like. Just know that I have the utmost respect for you as a master of destruction, death and general unpleasantness. 1) Haku! What... kind of ice cream do you like? I will drop off a sculpture of your favorite flavor in the shape of a snow-covered mountain for the wedding. 2) Naruto, you haven't been asked many questions lately, so here's one for ya. Why the hell are you still trying to get Sasuke back? He fuckin stabbed ya in the lung with a Chidori. You should pretty much just take him out next time you see him, get rid of your competition for Sakura. And since it's either gifts or presents now, here's a kimono for someone to wear. The overall color is a very soft blue, with some very smooth, relaxing white wind patterns, and

green leaves floating across on the patterned breeze. It can be tailored to either male or female style, so whoever wants it. My Best! Khellan Rafe P.S. Can I come to t3h wedding? Kyuubi: I’m gonna KILL this fucker!! Zakura: I think he’s hilarious. Kurenai: Hell YEAH he’s hilarious…and sexy!! Jiraiya: You’ve never even SEEN him! Kurenai: He’s six-foot strapping navy man, WHAT MORE DO I NEED TO KNOW?! Haku: Yay! Ice cream! I like peppermint and fudge! Zabuza: You only need one mountain Haku… Haku: I know, I like them together! Zabuza: but…no one else will eat that! Haku: That’s ok, I’ll eat it myself! Zabuza: And why don’t I doubt that you will… Haku: XD Naruto: -shrugsZakura: He doesn’t really care that much about Sasuke. Naruto: -kicks ZakuraZakura: You little fucker! –Lunges onto him and beats his ass upHaku: KYA! Kimono! But…I don’t need it… Zakura: -grabs it and runs over to Hinata- I-I…Think that…uh…y-you should…w-wear this…

Hinata: Oh kya! Cute Kimono! –Runs off to put it onZakura: Cute…yeah…-faintsLucifel: That’s it for this update! And btw, those ‘everybody’ questions take up WAY too much time, so I’d like you to cut back on those, or I’ll just not have everyone answer and pick who ever has the most interesting thing to say. You are all being so AWESOME!! So, I leave you until next weekend! (CAN YOU BELIEVE I UPDATED ON FRIDAY NIGHT?!) What will happen to Kabuto and Itachi? Will Gaara and Kimimaro ever it their feelings to the ones they love? What do the other potions do? Will Kabuto and Sakura do it like they do on the discovery channel? Stay tuned to find out!!

Ask Sakura 19 Orochimaru, why the hell are you so damn sexy and how do you keep Jaraiya off you? and to Zakura, -hands box full of lesbian-esque things- and uh...there's a bottle of water in there that will turn ANYONE gay/lesbian so...use it wisely Orochimaru: I can’t help being sexy. It’s just how I am…I’m a lucky bastard. Jiraiya: I’m not even trying to get ON him! Orochimaru: Oh bull shit. Sakura: Is anyone else worried about Itachi and Kabuto? Everyone: -blank stare- …nnnno Kimimaro: wait, what? Kabuto’s gone? Orochimaru: Ouch, burn, now come on I know you miss him… Kimimaro: No seriously, Haku was distracting me…Kabuto’s gone? Orochimaru: -nod, nodKimimaro: -small whimperGaara: -pats shoulderZakura: Sweet! Look at all this great stuff!! Kiba: -thinks- hmm, I’m very thirsty…oh! A water bottle! –DrinksZakura: -twitch- Kiba…did you just do what I think you did? Kiba: Drink a bottle of water? Zakura: You have to die now. –Pulls out multitudes of kunai-

Kiba: eep… Zakura: GRAH!!!! –AttacksI bet Naruto wont make it to 3 days!! haha! i bet 12 boxes of chocolate in fact! sakura and kabuto, sittin in a tre k-i-s-s-i-n-g! haha! sorry anywayamber: JUST GET TO YOUR DAMN QUESTIONS ALREADY!! i need to use the comp. sup all? shut up. anyway KYUUBI!! dont deny it, you are so fuzzy! -pets- haha! anyway, i let sasuke go free in a pokemon preserve, does anyone think he will survive an angry pikachu and volpix working together? i dunno, OMG! HE IS FOREVER CALLED COCKATOO-CHAN! I LUV COCKATOO-CHAN! zakura!! stay away from hinata! Hillarious Tragedy Naruto: -flips the birdSakura: Naruto, be polite. Naruto: -glaresZakura: -while punching Kiba repeatedly in the mouth- Or I’ll kick your ass. Naruto: -poutsSakura: H.T!! Leave me alone about Kabuto or I wont like you anymore!! Zakura: oh, god forbid… Sakura: hmpf Kyuubi: I’M NOT FUCKING FUZZY!! I can prove it!! –lots of red smoke, and explosions and then, as the smoke thins, you can hear evil cackling, red glowing eyes, and it disperses to reveal—CHIBI KYUUBI! Everyone: -snickerKyuubi: -looks around and realizes he is about two feet tall, and very, very fuzzy- … Godammit. Zakura: -finally dropping Kiba- Bwuhahahaha!! Nice Kyuubi! Way to be terrifying! Kyuubi: Shut up! Just shut up! I can’t help it! I have limited power!! Zakura: Oh, ok, yeah, you tell yourself that. Kyuubi: I hate all of you!

Kiba:-while spitting teeth and blood- Aren’t you a little too cute to hate? Kyuubi: You’re all going to die. Orochimaru: Ooh, ooh, Are you going to cuddle us to death? Kyuubi: Leave me aloooone. Jiraiya: Aww, are you going to cwy? Kyuubi: Can we just move on to the bit about Sasuke? Zakura: Yeah, yeah, sure. I’m sure Sasuke’s going to be fine…sort of. I mean, he’s got Chidori, which is like, a mega thunder bolt. He should be fine…-snicker- yeah right… Sakura: Sasuke will be fine!! Zakura: Oh yeah right. He’ll probably get it on with an Arboc Sakura: -cringeDeidara- OMG I am so glad your there, cause you totally awesome and rock my socks. Anyway if you were gonna bang someone in the Akatsuki who would it be? Hinata- I am glad that your there too, your my fav female ninja! Do you like anyone besides you know who? Kyuubi- I totally agree that you could kick Youko's butt. Do you like Naruto or do you just think he some irratating prison cell? Luv ya all...well almost all! BYE!! Deidara: Well, I used to like Sasori a lot, but…you know…-sigh- So anyway, now I’d totally ride Itachi…in fact, I have…yeah… Orochimaru: Oh he’s crazy in bed, ne? Deidara: Ph totally, makes me feel really good you know…yeah.. Orochimaru: oh for sure. Itachi: Huh… Somehow I get the feeling I’m being talked about sexually. Kabuto: Why do you get to be talked about sexually and I get insulted? Itachi: Because I’m so much hotter than you. Kabuto: Lies.

Itachi: Pfft, whatever. DM (previously known as ominous voice): So, what do you do? Itachi: Well, I suddenly have the urge to sneak down the shadows of this corridor. Kabuto: Isn’t it all shadows? Itachi: Hey, it’s pretty obvious I’m not making the choices here. DM: Ok, so you sneak through the shadows of the COMPLETELY DARK tunnel… Kabuto: This sucks so much ass…god, now the corridor’s getting damp. Itachi: If this turns out to be a sewage pipe I will NOT be happy. Hinata: -adorable innocent smile- I like a lot of people! Kiba: -nudge- Hinata they mean ‘like that’. Hinata: -blush- oh…ano…not…really…-blushblushblushZakura: -nosebleedKyuubi: I think Naruto has potential. But overall, he’s just a stupid fuck, Naruto: -glowerGaara: I don’t think he’s a stupid fuck. He’s actually quite innovative in bed. Naruto: O.o Zakura: Seriously? Naruto: -shakes head franticallyGaara: -snickering- do you hear him denying it? Zakura: -smirking- I do not. Gaara: Well, there you go. Naruto: -starts trying to choke GaaraGaara: -Gack-…see? He likes it rough!

Naruto: -gives up and poutsOrochimaru: What’s this almost all shit? Jiraiya: Aww, are you getting sensitive about all the people that hate you? Orochimaru: I AM NOT! Jiraiya: Oh sure… Dear Everyone, Great Story! Can't wait until the update, I have questions/comments/gifts for just about everyone. Kyuubi: Since I don't think you can quite properly torment -everyone- locked up, I've come up with a plan! Bites his thumb, drawing blood, and does a bunch of hands signs, before slamming his hand to the ground Kuchiyose no Jutsu: Kyuubi no Kitsune! Poof of smoke goes off revealing..Kyuubi!; Looks like a girl thoguh, covered in red, fiery fur, Crimson eyes, and 9 awesome tails Sorry about you looking like a girl, if you're really not, it's jsut how the Jutsu I have to use works...everything I summon ends up a girl...To make up for it, I've given you the powers of Zakura...Oh! And -no- killing, or you go back to the sewer! Naruto: First: I temporarily remove your ban, but -only- for my questions...Zakura, do anything, and I don't -care- how powerful you are, I will drain you of -all- your powers, and throw you to giant male tentacle monsters of guro like nature...Second: I dare you to make-out with Hinata for 5 minutes, stopping only to breath, and compliment Hinata. And would you mind if I dropped by in person to drop my gifts off in person? I look -sorta- look like a mix between Kenshin ((Rurouni Kenshin)) and Iruka, only no scars, hair is brown, and tied in a shoulder-ponytail, and I wear somewhat normal clothing, most of the time...However, for you guys, I'll wear my battle kimono, since it fits more. Snaps fingers, clothes change from shirt, pants, and shoes, to -really- dark blue, with black edges, and a sharingan-red sash battle kimono, with a normal katana hanging off his hip, tied to another sash, -very- dark green this time, that is also tied around his waist There, That's more fitting...anyhow, until I see you, Ja nae! And have fun! Kyuubi: Umm…I’m still here. Zakura: Yeah, but you’re a girl. Kyuubi: -realizes he is indeed, a cat-girl now, sultry woman voice and everything- I really hate my life…I never should have come out. Zakura: I’m personally enjoying myself. Kyuubi: Nooooo….

Zakura: oh, yes. Kyuubi: damn you all. Zakura: I’m sorry, Naruto, I can’t allow this guy to remove your ban. The fans think they can do anything…they can’t. Not in MY world BITCHES!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! Naruto: -mopesZakura: but you know…his dare still stands. Naruto: O.o Hinata: -is blissfully unawareNaruto: -shakes headZakura: You have from three Naruto: -sweatsZakura: THREETWOONEGO!!! Naruto: -jumps on HinataHinata: HRGMFJKZXLYINGSHTEKYTHTNDP?!?!?!?! Kiba/Neji/Kure/Shino: O. -the four afore mentioned begin to violently pull Naruto off her and kill himZakura: -is laughing hystericallyKurenai: NARUTO!! YOU EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!! Kiba: OR I’LL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!!! Naruto: -still can’t speak to explain himselfKiba: -pulls out kunai- Ok then… Hinata: Kiba no! I’m sure he had a reason! I-I mean…um…he can’t talk so… Neji: Hinata, I understand you like Naruto and all, but still, you can’t just let him do that. Hinata: Can’t you all just wait until he can talk again?

Kiba: He could talk if he really wanted to defend himself. Shino: If it was either silence or pleasuring Zakura sexually what would you choose? Kiba: …fine! Whatever! Zakura: …HEY!! Naruto: -thankful/apologetic look at Hinata, who looks away embarrassedlyKimimaro: ano, why is no one doing anything about Kabuto? …and Itachi? Orochimaru: -wry smirk- Why don’t you go looking for him? Zakura: OOO!! That’s a great idea!! Everyone: What? Zakura: They could use three more players…and that would make a good rescue team… Kiba: W-what are you muttering about? Zakura: WHO WANTS TO GO ON A CAMPAIGN?!?! Everyone: -steps back franticallyZakura: -sighs- Fine, we’ll do this diplomatically. Since we do technically need to get them back… Everyone: -shake headsZakura: We’re gonna draw straws. Everyone: NO!! They can die! Kimimaro: Actually I— Zakura: SHUT UP BITCHES! We’re gonna draw some fucking straws! Naruto: -holds up picture of a strawZakura: …don’t try to be funny. Ok, there will be three short straws. Hold on while I cut them up. -a few horrible minutes later-

Zakura: -evil smile- ok, draw. -One by one they draw all the straws -all of them- out of her handZabuza: Oi…why don’t you have a straw? Zakura: What? Oh well, no time to cut more! Ok, reveal! Zabuza: -rolls eyesThe short straws belong to: GAARA!!! LEE!!! AND!! KIMIMARO!!!!! Lee: YOSH! I can do this! I am the best choice for a rescue mission!! Gaara: -thinks while scowling- well…so long as I’m with Lee I guess that’s ok… Kimimaro: -small, happy smileZakura: Ok, here’s the deal. In order to get into this world, you have to become the characters for the players, that means you’ll have to do as the players command you to in accordance with the DM. You will be able to hear the DM but not the players. Somehow, through this way you have to find Itachi and Kabuto, at this point you can run off on your own and find the gateway back to here which will be on the lowest level of the dungeon. All of this will be done in the dungeon where there’s lots of monsters to kill and treasure to find. You’ll probably have to level up in order to make it through all the levels. Of course the DM had to be all witty and make the dungeon a maze. You have four days. Any questions? Gaara: I didn’t catch a word you just said… Lee: -raises handZakura: …yes, Lee? Lee: What happens if we don’t make it within the time limit? Zakura: You miss Haku’s wedding.

Haku: -gasp- But I need Kimimaro to sing for me! Kimimaro: Don’t worry, I’ll be back in plenty of time. Zakura: Ok, so, Lee you’re a fighter, Kimimaro you’re a magic-, and Gaara you’re a psion. Gaara: A what? Lee: YOSH! I am the greatest fighter ever! I will show no mercy! Kimimaro: -muttering to Gaara- What do you see in him? Gaara: Quiet, you, I find his immaturity endearing. Kimimaro: -rolls eyesZakura: Here are your character sheets –hands out character sheets- You’ll need these for when you break out of player control. You all ready? Gaara: Aside from the fact that I understood NONE of that, sure, why not? Zakura: All right, well, we’ll send you poor dumb fuckers off then. Kimimaro: Umm…how? Zakura: By means of a purple potion, of course. Kimimaro: Weren’t there only two of those? Zakura: -shrugs- So we mix a red and blue. Shikamaru: I’m sorry, I’ve stood to the side of this stupidity for too long. There is no WAY that will really work. You’re more likely to cuase a deadly explosion than actually create the same effects of a purple potion. Zakura: What do you know about D&D? Shikamaru: D&D or not it just doesn’t make sense! Zakura: Oh yeah? Sakura give me your red potion! Sakura: What? NO! This is stupid— Zakura: -steals red potion-

Sakura: HEY! Zakura: Suck it up pussy. –takes her blue potion and the red potion and mixes them both in an empty frappucino cup. With a poof of thick black smoke it turns purpleGaara: That smoke was kind of disheartening… Zakura: DRINK UP! Who wants to go first? Kurenai: You guys know she’s just trying to kill you off right? Lee: OOOH! OOH!! I will go first! –drinks a big gulp, pauses, lets out a horrible scream and disappearsGaara: -twitchZakura: Well, looks like it worked. Shikamaru: Yeah looks like it worked to completely evaporate Lee! Zakura: Whatever, Gaara? Gaara: …there’s no WAY I’m drinking that. Kimimaro: I’ll do it. Gaara: Are you SHITTING me? You’re willing to drink that? Kimimaro: This place sound dangerous…I want to make sure Kabuto’s all right. Gaara: Your devotion is sickening…all right, let’s do it together. Zakura: -smirking, she pours half into a different cupGaara: One Kimimaro: Two Zakura: THREE!! -They drink, pause to savor the slight frappucino taste and then disappearZakura: awww, it’s no fun when they don’t scream. Oh and btw, I’m sorry…well, no I’m really not…anyway, the point is if we let one fan visit they’ll all want to get in here. And I am NOT dealing with that shit.

Neji: Damn you! He sounded sexy! Everyone Stop calling Sakura useless, if it wasn't for her in the later manga, then Gaara would be dead by now. Sasori would be alive (The HORROR! He's kind of cute) If you called Sakura useless and annoying, then we wouldn't have any main character to represent FEMALE! And if we replace her, then that would be bad. Because we need each of everyone's personality to make "Naruto" to exist. Sakura: Why can't you give up on Sasuke? He's a stupid bastard and you know it. Stop lying and it that you won't like Sasuke in the later chapters. Why can't you like Naruto, he's the one saving you. Just give the Uchiha up. (No offense, my opinion) Neji: You know you like Tenten. Sure, might as well say I'm gay and she's a teammate. Whatever, if you are gay, spar with Lee than. So why don't you like Tenten? Stop saying that most of the girls are weaklings. Throws random food at people -RinoaZakura: but seriously, she is. Naruto: -shakes headSakura: I am not! Dammit, Tsunade didn’t train me to be a weakling! Naruto: -punches air enthusiasticallyJiraiya: you know guys; Sakura really is a good kunoichi… Zakura: Bull. Sakura: Grr, anyway, I thought we were screening these ‘why don’t you give up on Sasuke’ questions? Zakura: We get so many the occasional one slips by. Sakura: -frustrated sigh- any way, Sasuke and I are meant for each other! Zakura: God, you make me sick. Neji: Who’s Tenten? Shino: Not this again… Kiba: For real Neji, by now even I who she is.

Neji: …well whoever she is I bet she’s not up to my bed-mate standards. Kiba: -raising eyebrows skeptically- You have standards? Neji: fuck you. Kiba: And everyone else in the world. Neji: -seetheEveryone: YAY! RANDOM FOOD! (Deidara…yeah…) Meanwhile Gaara: Huh, that wasn’t too painful… Kimimaro: Why did you scream Lee? Lee: For the dramatic effect of course! Kim/Gaa: …-crickets chirpGaara: you are so weird… DM: You are standing in a dark hall way, what do you do? Kimimaro: Why do I have a sudden urge to attack the darkness? Gaara: What? Lee: Good idea! Who knows what might be hiding in the darkness?! –Runs forward kicking and punchingKimi/Gaa: -look at each other, shrug, and followhugs hakuCongrats! I wiil made cookies home-made by me to you wedding! Orochimaru: Do you have a lor of cute bisexual and gay people at your hands, why don't you ejem get "nasty" if you what i'm mean?glares Zabuza: gives him a book called"How to deal with fans how love your fiancee"Good Luck ATTE Fallen Angel Haku: Yay! Cookies! Oh, but by the way, I still need more options for the guest kimonos. I already have mine picked out. (Kryah’s)

Orochimaru: I’m working on Jiraiya right now…once I get fully screwed by him in a sober state, then hell yes I’ll be using the others. Itachi and I already had a blast… Jiraiya: O.O –scoots away slowlyDeidara: I wish I had gotten to him before he disappeared…yeah… Zabuza: Oh, I know how to deal with fans… -grips sword threateninglyOrochimaru: Oooh, you can threaten me with your sword any time. Zabuza: o.O Yay! Um I have a question, Why ARE all of you gay? Are you all on some gay hormone or something? Naruto: -shakes headKurenai: Dammit, I’m not gay. Naruto: -points at Kurenai and nodsKurenai: Naruto, I am not! Jiraiya: He was agreeing with you… Kurenai: Oh…Whatever. Lucifel: They’re all gay because that’s how they weren’t meant to be…seriously, I promise I’m not leaking yaoi gas into the room or anything… Naruto: O.O Zakura: Y aren't u beening controlled by Sakura? Like y go wild? Aren't u also Sakura or something? O.o Orochimaru: Y the hell u fuck people so often? And have u fucked every person in the hidden sound village? If no then r u sure? Shikamaru: Don't u love Ino or something? Zabuza: How long have u dated Haku?? Haku: R u sure Zabuza is ur type?? (sweatdrop) Kiba: U do know that ur dog is with Ino right? Shino: R u gay 2?? Kimimaro: R u gay like everyone else?? o.O Zakura: I WAS while I was in her mind. But because Of the ‘rules’ of this room, I can become completely separate from her.

Orochimaru: I do it because I enjoy it! And not EVERYONE, no, I’m far to busy for that. Plus I often end up with Sasuke instead of someone new… Shikamaru: Ino? No. We’re good friends but that’s it. Neji: Oh, bull shit. Shikamaru: No, really, we’re just friends. Kiba: So you’re gay? Shikamaru: I can be ‘just friends’ with a girl and not be gay! Shino: But you said you were. Shikamaru: I’m actually bi…god, you’re all so troublesome! Zabuza: Calm down kid, don’t have a seizure. Anyway, I don’t know if you would call it dating…but we started being together since…well…um… Haku: Only a few months after a ed him. Kurenai: Weren’t you like…ten? Haku: Something like that. And I’m quite positive he’s my type. In fact, he’s the only person I’ve ever been attracted to. Kurenai: -disgusted look at ZabuzaZabuza: …-blushes embarrassedlyDeidara: Wa, who knew Zabuza could blush? Pretty cute…yeah… Zabuza: Oh fuck you all. Kiba: You left Akamaru with INO?! Shikamaru: He’ll be a fur stole in no time… Kiba: NOOOO!!! Shino: Yes, I am gay. Not bi. Gay. Kiba: And MINE! –glompsShino: -dodges-

Kiba: -faceplants the floor- oww… -As Kimimaro and Gaara continue following the darkness-fighting Lee, something starts brushing against Kimi’s armKimimaro: dammit. What’s this piece of paper rubbing against my arm? Gaara: A question probably. Kimimaro: Well I can’t read it in the dark. -The page glowsGaara: Well damn…they really thought of everything to make us answer… Kimimaro: Oh…-blush- yes. Gaara: What was the question? Kimimaro: N-nothing…you already mostly knew anyway… -THUNK – Lee: Ano…I actually kicked something… -Grumble- … -two small red eyes open in the darknessGaara: Shit… A.H.S.: You know...-cocks her head to the side, looking in the mirror- This look works for me...!! -Suddenly pouts- Though I now know why Sasuke went the jockey route..shudders- Sasori: Same here..-cuddles causing her to blush- A.H.S.: -coughes- Anyhow... Deidara! You better get back here soon!! We need a third!! We wanna try a sharingan threesome with you and Saso-kun using henge! -Coughes- And My nails need to be redone! 1) Itachi...What are on all the tapes I found under the clothes in your closet? 2) Hey Oro-kun! -Hands an album full of neko sasu-chan pics- Do you prefer Itachi over Sasuke? 3) -Giggles blushing while haanding Zakura an album of personal photos of self as well as a whip- The whip as promised! If you could have a harem, who would be your top five? Sasori: Hey!! Those were mine damn it! A.H.S: -Gold turns to the dreaded Mangekyou- Shut it! Sasori: -Le gasp- Your an..! A.H.S: -mutters- yeah yeah...I'm twins with emo boy...Big damn deal! Well..Later peeps! Deidara: But I JUST did your nails…yeah. But Threesomes sound fun…yeah.

Zakura: Yeah, IF you can get out of here. Deidara: --‘ Itachi: Fuck, another letter. –Reads it and blushes- oh umm, those are just…uh… birthday videos, from when Sasuke and I were kids… Kabuto: That’s the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard. Itachi: -blushes harder- The thing is…gah, don’t tell anyone but its true…I just think he looks so adorable in those tapes! Kabuto: …You are really sick you know that? Itachi: I do. Why am I checking my inventory for a torch of some sort? Kabuto: I don’t know. I mean you don’t have anything do you? Itachi: -pulls out torch- I apparently do. Kabuto: Weird. Itachi: …but um…how do I light it? Kabuto: Fire jutsu? Itachi: I tried. It didn’t work. Kabuto: Well bring it over here, I for some reason feel like I have flint rocks in my pocket…yep, there they are. -they light the torch and hold it up. They are in a large, round-shapes pinkish corridor, which is constantly oozing saliva-like secretionItachi: So…how long have we been walking down the throat of a random monster? -GROWWWWLKabuto: Shit! Shit! The fire is bothering it! Turn it off!! Itachi: But we’ve got to get out of here! Kabuto: That doesn’t matter! We’ll just turn around and go back! Itachi: But what if?

Kabuto: It’ll fucking SWALLOW us Itachi! Turn it off! -They grapple for it, and up dropping it, still burning, onto the inside of its throatKabuto: Way to fucking go. Orochimaru: KYA!! More pictures!! And no way! Sasuke is much cuter! And I prefer the role of seme. –Runs to a corner- with the albumZakura: EEEE!! YAY!! –brandishes whip- Ooo, Jiraiya, you’re really gonna enjoy your payment…She’s sexy. Jiraiya: LEMME SEE!! Zakura: No way! These are secret positions that men must never find out women can do! Jiraiya: -whimper- I wanna see… Zakura: NO! –Locks herself in the pool room to do…stuffYo! Back again. Hope you all are havin a good time in the Room. Oh, except Kabuto and Itachi who are... well... Best not to dwell on that! By the way, Kyuubi, you might wanna just start checkin' that attitude. I'm pretty much invincible where you're concerned, plus... I know your weakness. And don't think I'm below telling everyone in that room what it is, solely for my own entertainment. The only thing holding me back is my respect for a fellow badass. Mkay? 1) For Hinata, why are you so shy? The way I see it, you're from the main branch of a very prestigious family. You've got no reason for low self esteem. 2) Kurenai, not to put you on the spot or anything, but WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU HAD SEX WITH? Heheh, I'm sure no one'll tease you. 3) F1n4lly, f0r 5h1n0, wh47'5 w17h t3h 4n71-L337 47717ud3 (translation: what's with the anti-leet attitude)? I'll drop the ice-cream mountain off before the wedding, 'k? Don't want it to melt! 'Till next time, everybody. Pain In Kyuubi's Ass, Khellan Rafe Kyuubi: Y-you wouldn’t! Damn you! Zakura: -poking her head out of the pool room- I know it too. Just so you know.

Kyuubi: what? How?! Zakura: Because I’m doing Lucifel’s job of keeping you all in check, I know everyone’s everything. Everyone: O.O Hinata: Oh well…I mean, I’ve never been as good at being a kunoichi as Hanabi, and I felt guilty about the whole second-family thing…and I mean…I’m not very pretty or funny or anything… Zakura: -running out- Who the fuck told you that? You’re fucking gorgeous! And like the nicest fucking person ever! Hinata: Z-zakura-san… Zakura: -bluuuush- Anyway…um…Kurenai? Kurenai: -snickering- Oh, oh yeah. …Dear god, that’s a little personal. Jiraiya: So long as it wasn’t Gai… Kurenai: No! –Muttering- But I wish… Kiba: Eww! I don’t wanna know that! Kurenai: You didn’t have to listen! Kiba: Whatever keep it to yourself. Kurenai: ANYway, the last time I had sex was while I was married to Asuma. Kiba: Eww! You were married to Asuma?! Kurenai: for about two years, yes. Shino: But you didn’t say it was Asuma that you last slept with. Kurenai: It wasn’t. It was Kotetsu. Kiba: Who? Kurenai: One of those two random chunin that are always hanging around, you know? Kiba: the one with the thing over his nose?

Kurenai: yep. Kiba: I thought he was together with Izumo? Kurenai: He is NOW, he was having trouble accepting his feelings, and my marriage was falling apart. It just kind of…happened. Jiraiya: So you screwed a gay man? Kurenai: He wasn’t gay when I slept with him! And so what if he was? Zakura: It’s just means you’re just that sexy. Shino: -twitch- I have been trying really hard to deal with it but…god DAMN must you be so annoying? What’s wrong with using proper language? It BARELY shortens words! If at all! It’s stupid! There’s no point to it! Zakura: Geez, calm down kid. Shino: The human language is going to the dogs!! Kiba: I haven’t gotten any human language lately. Shino: -- You think you’re really cute don’t you? Kiba: -smileShino: -sighomg Hinata ed! i hav a question for her. Why do u like naruto? for naruto why won't you notice hinata, she's reli cool! c'mon stop grovelling about sakura and go for hinata, cos sakura was lyk made for kabuto, hehehehehehehehehe. for itachi - i read this fic about u nd neji getting down dirty together, how do u feel about that? Hinata: …oh…um…because he’s so strong despite his hard life and…and because he wants to follow his own way of life no matter what… Kiba: Sure, that’s why you ire him. But why do you liiiike him? Hinata: Kyaa!! –Blushes and hidesNaruto? Zakura: They want to know why you don’t want to get in Hinata’s pants,

Naruto: -blushes and shrugs sheepishlySakura: I was NOT made for Kabuto! UGH! Kabuto: ACHOO!! Itachi: Someone talking about you again? Kabuto: that, or it could be the fact that I’ve walked around this damn maze for a good half hour now, covered in monster spit. Itachi: Hey, I got us out of there didn’t I? Kabuto: Yeah, by pouring acid on the monster’s teeth, smooth. Itachi: How Was I to know that would make him thrash around like that? Kabuto: You are such a fucking idiot! Itachi: The point is, once the acid finished eating through his teeth, we got out of there just fine. Kabuto: After hanging off his uvula for dear life so that we would fall back down his throat! Itachi: But we escaped. Kabuto: Fuck your escape! I had to use two cure light wounds spells just to fix the damage you caused me! Itachi: Yeah, what was the cure light wounds shit? Kabuto: It’s a basic cleric spell. Itachi: I still don’t get this whole ‘D&D’ thing. I mean, isn’t that just some nerd game? Kabuto: It is not! It is an experience like none other! You get to create your very own story and character in a world of magic and mystery along with your comrades in arms! Slaying and saving your way to hero status! Itachi: …you are such a nerd. Kabuto: I am not!

Itachi: You and the sound five used to spend your free time playing role-playing games all afternoon, didn’t you? Kabuto: NO!…well, maybe. Itachi: Nerd. Kabuto: It’s a strategy game! Itachi: Whatever, nerd. Kabuto: Agh! I hate you! Itachi: -finally notices letter- Hmm, you know, if I was really horny and he was the only one around, I’d go for it. Kabuto: You’re a slut. Itachi: Nerd. Kabuto: Slut! Itachi: GEEK! Kabuto: WHORE! Itachi: FANTASY-BOY!! Kabuto: CHILD-MOLESTER!! Itachi: Yes, and? Kabuto: …moving on … I don't know why you guys hate emo music so much! It's only stereotypical emo PEOPLE I dislike (like Sasuke). And everybody knows Sasukes have multiple evolutions: They become Fall Out Boy at level 24, Itachi with a Fire Stone, and Orochimaru with a Moon Stone! It puzzles me though that Sasuke (one person) can become Fall Out Boy (four people). Deidara: I'm assuming by your speech habit that you're pseudo-Canadian. Have you ever been handcuffed by Mounties? Did they pay for it? Lucifel: Yay for emo music! Zakura: Are you shitting me?

Lucifel: I think it’s funny…and emo boys are hot. Zakura: You disgust me. Kiba: I have one thing to say about the whole “more than one person in a single pokemon” thing. –Ahem- Execcute. Naruto: -nodsDeidara: I’m not pseudo-Canadian….yeah. But I have been tied up by Mounties…I paid them…yeah. Kurenai: o.O Hey Kyuubi, how strong is your link with naruto's mind because could you take over him and force him to rip off the seal? You rock by the way! And Orochimaru-hime have you ever done lewd things wit Manda lol? Oh and since you liked it Lucifel...-kisses lucifel pationatly for several minutes- how bout that ;) Kyuubi: Unfortunately the seal keeps me from taking over Naruto. Kiba: Hey yeah, how did you get out if there’s a seal?! Kyuubi: I think that’s why I was in chibi. Dammit, these boobs are really annoying. How do you girls live with them? Zakura: By using them. And yeah, this room only let you break the seal a little bit. Kyuubi: that sucks. Orochimaru: -blush- of course not. I mean, it’s not like I ever got high and decided to fool around with making my own tentacle porn… Jiraiya: …WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! Orochimaru: I don’t know…it seemed like a funny idea at the time… -Everything breaks down for a second as Lucifel becomes utterly distractedKiba: what was THAT?! Lucifel: Fucking awesome is what that was. Zakura: If this keeps up Lucifel will get laid… Lucifel: teehee…nah…well…hmm.

Zakura: Eww. Lucifel: By the way, are you a girl or boy? I’m guessing boy, but you never know. And I don’t care either way! Naruto: -utterly confused and disturbedFine don't listen to it. Snaps fingers and Stereo disappears. I love being evil I only wouldn't be mean to Hinata-Chan or Naruto-san so here tosses two CD players with Headphones. If any body besides Naruto or Hinata touch them they will recieve a highly electric shock to knock somebody out. Hi Deidara-Chan. Kiba: NOO!! NOT THE STEREO!!! Kyuubi: And dammit! I can’t listen to mine anymore cuz I’m out here! Naruto: -does happy dance and sits and listens to musicHinata: Oh but…I wouldn’t mind sharing… Zakura: Way…too…cute… Oh god Haku, you have filled up my cuteness quotient for the week, I think I am going to shit bunnies! Can you be even cuter? I just realized Orochimaru, you look really sexy in the manga! E! Would you ditch Jiraiya for me? E! OMG I LOVE you DEIDEI! (in obsessive fangirl speech - Deidei means Deidara) Hey Kimimaro, could you sing with me sometime? I love to sing and there's never any guys who like to sing, and so my chorus group lacks 4 part harmony... us! Please... Should I just skip the usless begging for Kabuto? I love you guys! Rose Alternate Rose personality: OMG I think my shitsophrenic (sp?) just freiken raped my brain... Oh well... -Hugs Zakura because she rocks so much more than SakuraHaku: teehee, I dunno. Zabuza: -smirking- just to prove he can be… -tickles Haku so he giggles uncontrollably and when he finally stops, Haku is still lying on the floor giggling like crazy, hair strewn all over the place, face flushed, and kimono falling off his shoulder.Everyone but Zabuza cuz he’s used to it: -NOSEBLEEDHaku: Huh? What’d I miss? Why is everyone holding their noses? Zabuza: -kisses Haku- nothing, dear.

Haku: heehee -hugs ZabuzaOrochimaru: Sorry, I’ve got something to prove with Jiraiya. Jiraiya: You can’t ditch what you don’t have! Orochimaru: -leaning in close, a few strands of his chin-length hair falling across his face all sexy-like- Are you sure I don’t have you? Jiraiya: -blush- Y-yes… Orochimaru: -giggle- We’ll just see. Deidara: -waves- A lot of people do…yeah. -Right in the middle of the three fighting a gigantic beetle, a letter flies in front of Kimi’s eyes and wont go awayKimimaro: -grabbing it- Another letter?! Gaara: Jesus Christ, when did you get so popular…? Lee: -trying to hold the beetle back with his bare hands- A little help, Gaara?! Gaara: I don’t even know what I can do! My jutsu aren’t work—whoa, why do I want to read the beetle’s mind?! It’s a fucking beetle! Even if I could read minds what would I learn!? DM: Ooook, so, you read the beetle’s mind. Its thinking “mmm, yummy adventurers” you find no battle plans. Gaara: I DIDN’T THINK I WOULD!!! DAMN! -A magic Missile shoots past Gaara and explodes in the beetle’s faceGaara: -turns around to look at Kimi- What was that? Kimimaro: Magic Missile. It’s a basic magic- spell. Gaara: Dear god, you’re a nerd, aren’t you? Kimimaro: Maaaybe. Lee: I’m gonna be crushed!! Kimimaro: Don’t worry! It’s your turn before the beetles!

Gaara: We’re fighting in TURNS now? Kimimaro: Why don’t you think either of us has made a second move yet? Lee: -manages to tear off the beetle’s pincers and it thrashes on the ground for a bit before falling still- YOSH!! I HAVE VANQUISHED IT!! Kimimaro: Good for you…-looks at letter- Oh, I don’t have time to a chorus, but if I get out of here and manage to not go back to heaven, sure, I’ll stop by for a visit. DM: You get three hundred experience a piece. Gaara: Experience? Kimimaro: how Zakura said we would need to level up? Gaara: uh, nope. Kimimaro: Well, you level up after you get enough experience from fighting monsters. Gaara: That makes no sense. Kimimaro: You can also level up for role-playing. Gaara: For what? Kimimaro: Acting like your character. Gaara: So…by being myself? Kimimaro: Yep. Gaara: SO I’m getting roleplaying ‘experience’ by standing here and talking to you with my usual shock and disgust at the situation I’ve gotten myself in? Kimimaro: Yep, well, depending on the DM…and you’d get lotsa extra XP if you went and made a dramatic confession of your love to Lee. Gaara: but that wouldn’t be in keeping with my character, asshole. Kimimaro: Teehee, good point. Care to move on? Gaara: Suuure….

In a different part of the dungeon: Kabuto: YES!! No begging for me! Itachi: Your mom begged for me last night. Kabuto: How very mature. Itachi: I thought so. Zakura: Cool, hugs from bad-ass chicks are awesome. –Receives hugHey i got a question for kiba, wot's Ur sister hana like? Hinata - why did u lyk try to almost get urself killed by neji in the chunnin prel? Matches just to impress naruto? Itachi - u nd sasuke looks so pretty darn cute as younger guys, did u still screw around with him when he was 8? Kiba: My sister is devils spawn, my mother being the devil. Why? Zakura: He obviously wants in your sister’s pants. Kiba: Eww. Hinata: It wasn’t to impress him…I just….wanted to prove that I could be as strong as everyone else… Kurenai: -hugs- you are, sweetie. Kiba: yeah, and twice as cute as anyone but Haku. Haku: Teehee. Itachi: -takes letter- Well…maybe… Kabuto: Oh, I don’t even want to know… Itachi: -smirking- Oh, yeah Late at night at go into ototo’s room and fool around with his cute little body… Kabuto: IDON’TWANNAKNOW!!! IDON’TWANNAKNOW!! –Runs off with hands over earsItachi: -chases him describing dirty things that probably never really happened-

Hey all! Having fun in there? Looks like Kabuto and Sakura are! Anyway, I'v got some dares I'd like you to try! Zakura: I dare you either dye Lee's hair purple or kiss one male in the room. Deidara: I dare you to lock Sakura and Kabuto in a closet for nine hours. Hinata: Your dare is to either it that you like Naruto or to put on . . . this bikini and keep it on for two days at least. Oh, and Haku & Zabuza, congrats on the wedding!! Zakura: -kisses Haku- And? Zabuza: -looming over her, secreting an aura of pure evil and hate- …Bitch, you have three seconds to run. Zakura: Eep. Zabuza: Threetwoone. GRAAAH!!! –AttacksDeidara: As soon as Kabuto gets back, I will…yeah Sakura: What?! NO!! Deidara: I think Kabuto could use a good lay where he’s on top. He has an inferiority complex you know. …yeah. Hinata: I don’t really have to do I? Zakura: -runs by screamingSakura: Sadly yes. Hinata: -blushes and goes to changeKiba/Jira/Zaku (even while running for her life)/Neji/Naru: -hold breath and wait in anticipation.Hinata: -comes out wearing the same kimono as before. Kiba: What? Yu didn’t pick the alternative did you? Hinata: No, the bikini’s on. Underneath my clothes. –SmileNeji: …damn, she’s not such an airhead after all. Kurenai: that’s my girl!

Haku: thank you for the wedding congratulations. –grabs Zabuza as he runs past and makes him sit next to him, and then slips into his lap, cuddling to calm him downZakura: -sits panting at the opposite side of the roomI give Itachi a Bastard sword. To Kabuto I give a scroll of level appropriate cleric spells with their material components and a quarter staff. Kohaku Kawa DM: You find a bastard sword in the hallway, along with a scroll and quarter staff. –Thinks- why did I just give them that? WTFItachi: SWEET ASS!! –Grabs bastard swordDM: You’re an assassin. You have no use for a bastard sword. Kabuto: If you’re an assassin why didn’t you just picklock that door earlier? Itachi: You’re the nerd, you tell me. Kabuto: We are obviously in the hands of some very immature and stupid players. Itachi: I don’t care! I have a bad-ass sword now! Kabuto: -sighs and takes scroll and staff- These should help in the next battle I suppose. Itachi: There’ll be more like that? Kabuto: Not like that I hope, but we will certainly have more random encounters. Itachi: Say what? Kabuto: Random monsters that attack for no reason other than to give us XP. Itachi: …you’re such a nerd. Sakura: You’re cool in the Shippuden how come so many people still hate you Naruto: You were a loser in the regular series. An annoying retarded hyper-active braindead moron but in the Shippuden your cool how'd you do it

Hey Zakura here’s my stash of Girl on Girl porn my parents are inspecting my room so I must hide them and you're the only Lesbian I know. I would've given them to friends but you deserve it more Sakura: HA! There, you see? Some people think I’m cool!! Zakura: And what retards are those? Sakura: You are such a bitch! Zakura: And you’re a whiny know-it-all. So? Sakura: I…you…ARG!! –Starts stalking offZakura: Who you gonna run crying to, bitch? Kabuto’s not here! Naruto: -raises hand enthusiasticallySakura: I hate you! Naruto: -cringeSakura: Not you! The bitch! Zakura: you’re just pissed because I’m more true to and open about myself and YOU than you could ever be! You spend so much time lying to yourself that the truth drives you up a fucking wall! Everyone: -silenceSakura: -shocked and traumatizedZakura: what? Someone had to say it. Sakura: That’s not true. Zakura: Think about it for awhile. Sakura: You can’t be so cruel! Zakura: The truth hurts. Get a band-aid and move on. Deidara: …that was kind of deep…yeah. Zakura: -smirks-

Sakura: -refuses to acknowledge Zakura’s truthNaruto: -looks at reader, shrugs, and does a humble nose-scratchZakura: -shakes at Sakura- OH SWEET-ASS!!! –Takes porn to her happy placehey Zakura, did u know Ino-san has an inner just like Sakura-san? scratches Kyuubi behind the ears U L00K LIK3 A PUPPY!! Zakura: She might have an inner girl, but she’s not as strong and bad-ass as me. Kyuubi: -slaps- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!! Zakura: Someone’s sensitive. Kiba: -snicker- Or PMSing Kyuubi: You all will die one of these. It may have been senseless violence in the past but now I have good reason!! Dear Naruto I LOVE YOU I'll give u life of a Ramen if u come to the REAL world Sasuke god of all beauty! KIS ITACHI or marry NARUTO. and I will give u Itachi's head)) Naruto: -concentrates on going to ‘real’ world…fails- … -criesZakura: This world is plenty real enough for you! And besides, there’s lotsa ramen to be had around here anyway… Kiba: Sasuke’s not even here…what the hell? Itachi: hold on, I need to break for lewd comments about how my brother gets my head all the time. Kabuto: Oh god, Itachi… Itachi: What? I can’t help the truth… Kabuto: But there’s so much WRONG with that… Itachi: It’s JUST incest!

Kabuto: Is that your catch phrase or something?! Itachi: No…but it SHOULD be! Kabuto: -face-palmItachi: -walking ahead distracted- Ladies and gentlemen! Allow me to introduce ITACHI UCHIHA!! Thank you, thank you, I just want to remind you all, it’s JUST incest!! Hahahahaha… Kabuto: …-thinks- well, so much for Itachi being sane again…

Ask Sakura 20 Lucifel: So, I’m sorry it’s going up on Monday…this is embarrassing. But I had such a busy weekend!! SORRY!!! But, since its Spring Break, the whole week is like a weekend for me. Yay! Ok, eww gross I know you all don’t wanna read another one of my little notes, but I gotta put ‘em up so that I’ve given you all fair warning. I just want you to know that you can put almost anything INTO the room, but I can’t let you take anything out. You can however take back anything you personally have given them. Cuz otherwise you might be taking something I was planning to use later on (yes I do plan, don’t be shocked) or that I really like having around. Also, you simply canNOT override my, Zakura’s or the DM’s rules. You can’t lift any curses or dares (unless you made them) and you can’t just fix the characters problems. It’s annoying for me to have to deal with and leads to more extreme editing of your reviews. (Plus, it would make for a really boring story if the characters problems could be fixed by a simple review, ne?) And of course, I have the right to break my own rules at any time I wish. Ok, again, I love you all!! I am NOT saying your reviews are annoying, just itty bitty little pieces of them. I appreciate each and everyone review I get. Much Love A.L. A.H.S: -blinks gently before turning to look at a screaming Tobi and Kisame- Oh shut the hell up!! Its just an Anaconda for fucksake! Tobi: But Tobi is a- A.H.S: -Uses the Mangekyou Sharingan to transport the twit elsewhere before picking up her pet and sitting back in Sasori's lap- Damn twit...Sasori: Yes...mopes- But why did you give her my pictures?!! A.H.S: -pouts- But you have me already..Sa-so-ri-da-na! -Giggles and nibbles- Sasori: -Nods- A.H.S: Anyhow...How's about whipping some ass Zakura? Though I don't think you should hit Deidara...It just turns his ass on. Orochimaru, I mourn for your hair right about now. You looked ubber sexy with it. But I have to ask you this!! How did it feel to kill old man Sarutobi? Sakura, you really need to be more dominatory. Sucking up only leads to a nasty taste. Now Sasori has to add something!! Sasori: To the one who stalks me...FUCK YOU! I'll Gut you! I'm marrying Morana-sama! -Blinks as a poof is heard and she is gone- Kisame: Never say the 'M' word!! Its her weakness damn it!!

Zakura: -Brandishes whip- MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA -the whip smacks Kiba across the faceKiba: OWWW!! Why is it always me?! Shino: Because you put an akatsuki in pokeball, maybe? Kiba: Yeah…But why the whip?

Zakura: -smacks him again, this time on the ass- no whining!! Kiba: But— -SMACKKiba: -whimperShino: -goes to hang out with HinataKiba: -sniffle…looks at Shino with big, sad puppy eyesShino: -ignoresNaruto: -pats Kiba’s back hesitantlyKiba: -criesOrochimaru: It felt like happy. :3 Everyone: O.o Sakura: I’m plenty dominatory! Zakura: Sure, when you’ve got me around. Sakura: Not true!! Zakura: Whatever bitch. Kyuubi: YES!! I’m a boy again!! And four-legged! Orochimaru: And Chibi!! Deidara: teeheehee… To Zakura-chan here! *Gives Zakura an album full of nakada Kurenai pictures, having sex with Anko* And there's more where that came from Itachi/ Kabuto: To you I give uber weapons and armor, Kyuubi: You know..being a girl isn't so bad..If you didn't notice, every single girl in Anime has strength beyond that on any male...and you have your natural destructive capacity, so you don't cry or blush alot! Now, I Triple Author/Zakura dare Hinata to kiss Naruto, for 3 whole minutes. BWHAHAHA! ((Sorry, Naruto!)) Hinata: Can you please explain to the others that it was a dare, so Naruto doesn't get maimed? Forgot to ask you last time, please and thank you! Signed, Emperor Jaden P.S. All Hail Lucifel and Zakura! *Gives them both their favorite cookies, with milk and hot chocolate*

Zakura: -SQUEEEE- -curls up in sleeping bag with albumKurenai: …what’s in there? Zakura: -clutching album- in where? Kurenai: The album… Zakura: Nothing special…whyyy? Kurenai: Because the last couple times there were photo albums they involved Sasuke in pervy little costumes. I think I have a right for suspicion. Zakura: They’re not naked pictures of you I swear!! Kurenai: -blink, blink- And here I was worried they were of Hinata…Give those to me!! Zakura: NEVER!! –burries herself in the sleeping bagKurenai: You get out here you little lesbian pervert!! –attacks sleeping bagZakura: I’m only enjoying this! Kurenai: O.O –stopsZakura: -snickers and keeps looking at albumItachi: Dude! I can’t believe we found this room full of weapons and armor! DM: How did this get on my map? Wtf? Kabuto: Too late! –grabs armorItachi: -lines his belt with awesome throwing daggers and puts on armor- I look so awesomely badass!! Kabuto: Yeah, yeah…ick, I hate all this goofy shiny white armor…damn clerics. Itachi: -snicker, snicker- You look like such a dweeb. Kabuto: Oh whatever. You’re a freaking assassin, you probably have like, four hit points, I could take you out in a second. Itachi: What are you gonna do, heal me to death? Kabuto: -hits Itachi with his quarter staff-

Itachi: WTF are you doing?! DM: You’re a Chaotic Good cleric!! Chaotic GOOD!! What is wrong with you?! Kabuto: Shit, if I’m good Neji’s a virgin. DM: But…but…fine, whatever, he takes six damage and is at negative one. Itachi: What the hell does that me-- -slumps to the ground unconsciousKabuto: Damn, I was off; he had five…oh well. Good thing our players don’t get along either apparently… DM: He’s at negative two now… Kabuto: -whistlesDM: -sweatdrop- Negative three… Kyuubi: Whether or not being a girl isn’t bad I’m a boy now and that’s ALL that matters!! I need to find a bitch and reaffirm that… Zakura: Yeah…no. Kyuubi: Says who? Zakura: Well, for one there aren’t many female nine-tailed foxes around here… Kyuubi: Maybe I’m into humans? Everyone: O.o Kyuubi: Oh please, even I can make a joke. Humans are gross. Kiba: Huh…so, like, would you be into ninetails? Kyuubi:? Kiba: The pokemon. Kyuubi: The fuck? Kiba: Hold on… -searches pockets- aha! –Pulls out trading card of ninetails- do you think she’s sexy?

Kyuubi: -bluuuush- Um, n-no…definitely not… Kiba: Huh, damn I thought you would… Neji: Did you really not pick up on that? Kiba: On what? Kyuubi: Hey, uh, by the way…where do you find that uh…ninetails? Kiba: I thought you weren’t interested? Kyuubi: I’m not. –Nonchalant glance awayNaruto: @.@ Hinata: O-oh, you guys the last kiss was a dare… Kiba/Shin/Kure/Neji: THAT’S NO EXCUSE!! –glareHinata: I…-glances at Naruto and blushesZakura: SO yeah, Hinata doesn’t have to kiss Naruto…MOVING ON! Lucifel: Hold it! Just because YOU, Zakura, want in Hinata’s pants and would get all jealous of Naruto doesn’t mean I’M not a Naru/Hina er. I say she DOES have to. Zakura: -whimper- Go ahead Hinata… Kiba/Shin/Kure/Neji: NO!! Hinata: -whimper- … -kisses Naruto close-mouth (you didn’t specify and can only do the same dare once :P) for three minutesKiba/Shin/Kure/Neji: NOOO!! Deidara: So…Kurenai has a crush on the cute little girl too. Yeah? Kurenai: No! She’s my student! I just want to protect her! Deidara: Sure… Haku: Zakura-san!! Zakura: Yeah?

Haku: I have everything ready but…I want to have the ceremony in this one place, and I was thinking I’d need Tsunade to do the ceremony since a Kage is the only who can legally do that… Zakura: Say no more. Anything you want for your wedding is yours. The fans would kill me otherwise. Haku: YAY! Thank you! –hugs- I can even invite a whole bunch of people? Zakura: Why not all of Konoha! Haku: YAY!! Zabuza: We don’t even know the people of Konoha! Haku: But I want a lot of people there… Zabuza: -sighs- Whatever you want I guess… Haku: :3 Zakura/Lucifel: -devours drinks and cookiesKyuubi, lookin good. Hahaha! Bet you wish it was still just me pestering you, huh? At least all I did was pet you and ask stupid questions, but now you're a fuzzy chick! Karma's a bitch, ain't it? Really, Kurenai, Kotetsu? Weird, I figured it'd be someone in the straight half of the village before someone batting for your team. How'd you get him up, henge into Izumo? Heheh. I crack me up. 1) Alright, Zakura. I dare you to tell Hinata how you feel. Have fun with that! 2) Sakura, I dare you to kiss Naruto, and don't skimp on the tongue action. After all the times he's saved your ass, I figure it's the least you could do for him. And as promised, Haku, here is your mountainous sculpture of ice cream, with a special surprise in the center. Don't worry, thanks to advances in ice cream technology, it will stay cool and delicious until the reception. Have fun, see ya there! The Legendary Khellan Rafe

Kyuubi: Yeah, laugh it up dick face. Kurenai: No, arg, dammit, Kotetsu was having trouble coming to with liking Izumo and we’re pretty close, that’s why we slept together. Sure, it didn’t work out for either of us, but…grr, I thought he was straight, he was trying to stay straight…did you just call me gay? Zakura: You should be. Kurenai: Keep wishing kiddo.

Zakura: I’ll be dreaming for sure. Kurenai: Oh for God’s sake… Zakura: Yeah well…well…what’s number one? Lucifel: Go ahead, do as the man says. Zakura: -twitch- He never said when!! Lucifel: You know you have to answer right away, Z. Zakura: Fine. Yo, Hinata! Hinata: Y-yes? Zakura: I feel really horny right now! Hinata: What? Zakura: And kind of violent and angry but that’s normal… Hinata: w-what? Zakura: Just thought I’d tell you how I feel…-smirks- he never said how I feel about her. Lucifel: Touché. Sakura: I’m not doing that! Naruto: -puppy eyesSakura: -sighs- … -grimace- … -kisses Naruto.Naruto: -faintsSakura: -wipes mouthHaku: YAY!!! I can’t wait! The wedding is next weekend!! Lucifel: If anyone wants to give wedding presents you better get on that!! Naruto-sama! ToT U couldn't come to me! T0T I have eat all this Ramen ALL ALONE!T.T... Itachi-sensei: I WANT YOUR HEAD SO SASUKE WANT TO MARRY ME AND BECOME STRAIGHT!(is that alright with u?) Sakura-teme: I dare u to kill Sasuke if not...U MUST KISS NARUTO IONLY! (or if not even that... u must have sex with OCCIMARU!) SASUKE: I WILL FIND U! *shearching for itachi in a tunnel*

OCCIMARU OUR GOD OF UGLENESS: U RAPED SAUSKE!*lEAVES A ATOMIC BOMB ON orochimaru HEAD* I see ITACHI!* comes with a heave blade* YinYangWhiteTiger

Naruto: -wakes up at mention of ramen- RAMEN?! –looks around- Awwww… Kabuto: Oh, Itachi has a letter. DM: Negative eight… Kabuto: -sigh- Aww damn, we’ve reached the point of necessary healing…Cure Light Wounds. DM: Ok he’s at zero. Kabuto: Fuck, now I have to use another spell…cure minor wounds. DM: -extra sweat-drop- he’s at two. Itachi: -sits up gasping- Oh my head…What the fuck was that for?! Kabuto: -shrugs- I didn’t mean to, it was the player’s idea. Itachi: That’s bullshit and you know it! Kabuto: -innocent smile- whatever do you mean? Itachi: -grumbles and grabs letter- what…NO! God, you dumb little fucker. Kabuto: -snickersDM: -thinks- who’s this warrior who’s character sheet In just found…oh well…says- As you leave the room where you found the ridiculously-conveniently-perfectfor-your-characters-equipment, you see a warrior with a large blade in front of you. What do you do? Ita/Kabu: -look at each and make evil smilesTen Round Later: Kabuto and Itachi sit on the corpse of their vanquished foe Kabuto: Fuck yeah, that’s how we do it! –high-fives ItachiItachi: -pulls knife out of warrior’s neck- That was so much fun I almost forgot you tried to KILL me. Kabuto: Still bitter?

Itachi: -sighs- not really DM: What’s really sad is that you dinged doing that… Kabuto: W00T!! SECOND LEVEL!! Itachi: WTF? Kabuto: Just be happy, you have more hit points now… Itachi: huh? Kabuto: you won’t die with one hit next time. Itachi: Oh…fuck you. DM: As you’re sitting there…doing whatever the hell you think you’re doing…a young girl runs up to you. She has long, stringy black hair and pale skin, She looks to be about ten years old and is dirty and bruised. Kabuto: Probably an evil monster in disguise. Itachi: -nods- probably. –draws knifeDM: She collapses at your feet… Itachi: Too bad it’s not a little boy. Kabuto: EWW! Anyway I have a need to go over there and see if she’s all right. – walks over and turns the girl gently onto her back, and shakes her softly in attempt to wake her- Hey, are you all right? DM: She wakes up and says weakly; Girl (speaking with the same voice as the DM): Please…Water…please… Kabuto: that is just fucking creepy. Learn to voice-act, dear god. –sighs and turns to Itachi- Do we have water? Itachi: -searches pack- No but I have a flask of wine. Kabuto: That’ll do. DM: …-sigh-

Kabuto: -slowly pours the wine into the girl’s mouth.DM: Ok, she drinks it and sits up on her own, rubbing her forehead. Girl: -sits up rubbing her forehead- Thank you…oh…-swaysKabuto: -taking her shoulders- are you all right? What happened? –gags at own tackinessDM: She shakes her head weakly. Girl: -shaking head- I don’t know. I was out gathering wood for my family and then I fell through the ground…when I awoke I was in this dungeon with a strange warrior. He got me out of the room we were in, but he couldn’t stop me from getting injured in the past battles. We got separated several days ago and I was left without food or water, I thought I heard him down this way just now but…it appears it was only you… Itachi: -stepping in front of dead warrior- you don’t say. That sucks. Girl: Indeed… Kabuto: Well…you can accompany us. –pauses- Wait a minute! No she fucking can’t! Girl: Oh thank you! This place is so dangerous I feared for my life… Kabuto: Um, hello. I said no. Itachi: For real, that’s some stupid shit right there to bring some little girl around with us. –pauses- Yeah, whatever, you can come along. –twitch- WTF?! DM: Alright, so, as you continue down the right-hand corridor with the girl following you… Itachi: We don’t WANT her to follow us! Kabuto: Itachi, it’s obvious the DM and this NPC can’t hear it when WE’RE actually talking… Itachi: So…huh? Kabuto: Just let them play the game, hopefully it’ll work out… Sakura: -pulls back from kissing Naruto again- Why?! Why me?!

Naruto: -mindless blabbingOrochimaru: Wtf? Zakura: Oops, missed that one… Orochimaru: THAT one?! Zakura: -while getting rid of atomic bomb- do you know how many people have tried to throwing flaming explosives at your head? Orochimaru: …really? Zakura: Ayup. Orochimaru: …ouch… Well Im a boy and -starts kissing Lucifel- will do anything for you Lucifel! Also Sakuras annoying so cant you all get rid of her by sending her alone to the d&d world? oh and kyuubi kicks kiba's ass even as a chibi!! -goes back to Lucifel-

Lucifel: WHEE!! I have a pet! Sakura: NO! God, I’m staying! Zakura: And besides we can’t waste anymore potions, these might be fun…hey, we should check one. Who wants to drink a potion? Haku: Oooh! I will! Zakura: go right ahead… Zabuza: Now wait a min-Haku: -drinks potionEveryone: -waits in anticipationThere’s a poof of Brown smoke and it reveals Haku who is now—the exact same as before Zabuza: phew Zakura: Damn, that’s no fun Haku: Ano…guys I— Orochimaru: Well, shit, I’ll drink my brown potion then.

Haku: Well, you might not want— Orochimaru: -drinks potionHaku: oh dear… Another poof of brown smoke and when it clears…Orochimaru is a woman. Orochimaru: -blinks- oh fuck. Haku: I tried to warn you… Zabuza: -twitch- does that mean…you’re… Haku: Yep. All female. –opens kimono to slightly to prove itNaruto: -nose bleed!!Zabuza: -excited shiver- Haku…this may sound horrible but…I’ve always wanted…I mean…Can I… Haku: We have a very big sleeping bag. Zabuza: -smirks and pulls Haku to the sleeping bagZakura: Well…huh. Sorry about that Orochimaru Orochimaru: -looking down kimono- That’s ok…this is kind of fun…-starts playing with boobsJiraiya: …-NOSEBLEEDHey you know whats sad that even in the dictionary the friken dictionary it says yaoi is much more common than yuri. Isn't that sad. Why is yaoi so common. I thought males were the hornier gender. To Lucifel: Why do you lust after something that doesn't exist. Yaoi is weird. People find it immoral for people to like yuri well no one except me finds it weird that there are millions of friken drooling annoying fan girls Neji: If you are bi since you said so would you screw tenten(your teammate and don't say you don't know who tenten is because if you do I'll kill you) Haku: I thought you were really hot when I thought you were a girl but still are you a transvestite Good-bye, burn in hell and such whatever, Saskuretsu

Lucifel: First off, I find that more happy than sad. :3 Besides, there’s more girl/girl in real porn so don’t whine. Secondly, you lust after something that doesn’t exist either if you’re a yuri fanboy. You’re wrong. LOTS of people think yaoi is sick and wrong, I hear it all the time. And I personally have nothing against yuri (Look at Zakura) I just don’t get off to it. Zakura: Men ARE the hornier gender…that’s why they screw each other.

Lucifel: hehe, yeah. Neji: Tenten…Tenten…where have I heard that name before? Kiba: -smacks NejiNeji: Hey! Knock it off!! Zakura: Either way, trust me, she’s not that hot. Kiba: Sure she is! Shino: HEY! Kiba: hmpf Deidara: Hehehe, the dog is biting back against the little bug… Shino: -twitchHaku: teehee, I guess now I am… Zabuza: get back here!! To Team Gaara: I give you the Marauder's Map, it shows were anyone is, unfortunately the PLACE it shows is hogwarts. To Team Itachi: I give you an up to date map of the current dungeon you are in. Only mirror-image, I'll leave you to figure out what that does to the arrangement of levels O.o To my dear Shikamaru, I give you a sheet of magic paper that can send what is written on it to whoever has the other sheet. I gave the other sheet to Chouji and he can write back. Zakura-sama please be nice and let him keep what he writes and recieves private!

Lee: Why is it team GAARA?! I want it to be team Lee!! Gaara: Whatever you want Lee… Kimimaro: Hey, I’m the one who even knows what we’re doing! Lee: But I am obviously the strongest! Gaara: Can we please not whine about this? Kimimaro: Yes, yes of course…even though without me we would have died last time and never have gotten to level two, but that’s ok…anyway…we got a map. Gaara: Seriously?! –looks at map- What the fuck is a whomping willow?

DM: -snickering and thinking- I’m so glad I found that random note about a marauders map and put it in there…. Gaara: This is just of some gay castle!! MAN! –tries to rip up paper…the paper doesn’t tear- wtf? Map: -there are words scribbling across the page in place of the mapMr. Moony would like to say Gaara’s sexual preference is rather strange but suits him perfectly. Gaara: huh? My. Prongs would like to add that Gaara should keep his hands off what is not his and should grow some eyebrows. Gaara: hey -puts hand to his head defensivelyMr. Padfoot mentions that he should get a boyfriend who will appreciate that fake little mask of ‘bad-assery’ he always puts on. Gaara: -twitchMr. Wormtail concludes with that fact that Gaara had best not get a tattoo when he’s drunk next time…it looks really gay. Gaara: -jaw drop- … Kimimaro: Did that map just totally pwn your ass? Gaara: -shoves the map into his pocket- No. Fuck, let’s just move on… Lee: Yosh!! We can find our way without a map! Gaara: Yes, sure…can we MOVE?! Kimimaro: You’re really miffed aren’t you? Gaara: Shut up. Lee: -turns corner- GAH! Gaa/Kimi: -run to catch upElsewhere

Itachi: YES!! A map! So…to get to those stairs we turn…Right! –slams into a wallKabuto: -collapses with laughter.Girl: Are you all right?! Itachi: Yeah…I’m fine… Kabuto: How’s you pride? Itachi: Mangled beyond repair… Shikamaru: -wakes up from the nap he was taking- Hmm, what’s this? Oh…-writesZakura: Private to all but the computer screens and me and Lucifel! You got it! Shikamaru: “rolls eyes” “Choji, it’s Shikamaru, did you get out ok? I’m in a different room” A few seconds later. “Wow! It’s actually working! I thought that girl was just crazy. I’m home now…are you ok?” “Yeah, I’m fine. It’s even more troublesome here but…I’m fine” “That sucks. Look, It’s about dinnertime, so I’ll write with you as soon as done. K?” “Sure” “Thanks, love you.” Zakura: … “love you”? Shikamaru: -blushes- so? Choji’s liked me since we were children… Zakura: that’s really cute…don’t you feel a little hurt that he would rather eat than talk to you, his captured best friend? Shikamaru: …it’s Choji. Zakura: Well…yeah… Kiba and Kyuubi: If you and the others agree to listen to an Avenged Sevenfold CD called City of Evil and an Atreyu CD called Death Grip on Yesterday in fact Atreyu is the only Emo disk in that collection so you either have no music or listen to two CD's then listen to whatever you want.

Kiba: Yes! I am DEFFINATELY ok with that! Please you guys?! Kyuubi: The real questions is who’s gonna argue with me? Everyone: -snickerKurenai: Well, I certainly wouldn’t dare argue with the little chibi fox…-snrrggkKyuubi: Hey, fuck off… Neji: I sure won’t…I’m too scared of the big bad little doggy… Kyuubi: I can still kill all of you! Jiraiya: Oh, ok, ok, we’ll do what you say oh terrifying chibi! Orochimaru: Hot DAMN why don’t you women play with your boobs more often?! This is so FUN! Kure/Hina/Saku/Zaku: -gapeOrochimaru: what? Jiraiya: -trying not to stareOrochimaru: -snicker- Jiraiya…do you want to play my boobies? Jiraiya: …-nodsOrochimaru: -giggles and takes Jiraiya to a cornerKurenai: -twitchZakura: If Orochimaru and he actually do it I’m gonna barf. Hello Ladies and Gentleman, I'm back with more questions for you all! Kiba: I forgot to thank you for offering to take my dog in , but latley my dad hasn't been threatening to give him away so there might be no need to give him to you and also I'll try to save Akamaru from Ino, he doesn't deserve that. No one does. Shino: You’re totally awesome and look so mysterious and sexy with your big jacket and the glasses and all. Though I've always wondered what do you look like without them on? So I dare you to take them off and leave them off the rest of the time you are there. Itachi: You also rock and through this fic I'm getting a little confused on whether or not you have actually banged Sasuke or not, so have you or what? Luv you all...almost all and when I say almost I do mean you Orochimaru and I don't care if I spelled that wrong. A Falling Angel P.S.S Congrats to Haku and Zabuza and I am coming to you're wedding!

Kiba: Ok, that’s good about your dog…-gasp- If you get Akamaru back for me I’ll love you FOREVER!!!! Shino: Hmpf. …and I refuse. Zakura: No refusals! Let’s see it! Shino: -sigh- takes off glasses. Kiba/Saku/Hina/Neji/Dei: Oooooh. Kiba: Isn’t he the SMEXIEST without them?! Saku/Hina/Neji/Dei: -nod, nodItachi: …oh, yep. You bet your ass I have. Kabuto: I DON’T WANNA HEAR IT!! –turns to the little girl- So, what’s your name? Itachi: What, since when are you as pussy as Jiraiya? Girl: Elani Kabuto: What a nice name. –to Itachi- I’m not! I just don’t want to hear about you being a pedophile!! Itachi: Ok, whatever girly man. Elani: Thank you…um….you are adventurers aren’t you? Kabuto: Fuck you Itachi. –to Elani- Yes, of sorts, why? Elani: Well, because I saw something really strange a little while back and I was thinking someone should look at it because it seemed kind of bad… Kabuto: Bad how? Elani: -shrugs and twirls hair- Just…bad… Kabuto: Was it on the other level? Elani: No, this one…I came from these stairs…it’s around here…not far… Kabuto: Why don’t you take us there?

Elani: -nodsOrochimaru: I don’t care because Jiraiya is playing with my boobs, and you are actually the first in a while to spell my name correctly so XP Haku: -wriggling out of sleeping bag, skin moist and hair mussed, his kimono falling off his shoulder- And I’ll look forward to seeing you! Naru/Neji/Zaku/Dei/Shika/Kiba: -gape and trickling blood from they nosesZabuza: -holds Haku defensivelyfor deidara - r u gay? or r u bi? or r u straight? for naruto - i read a fic where ino seduces u, how do u feel? for kimmimaro - wot r ur opinions about the sound 4 and does kidoumaru and tayuya have a fling?

Deidara: I’m like Orochimaru. I’ll try anything once. Orochimaru: YAY FOR WHORES!! –high fivesJiraiya: …boooooobs… Orochimaru: teehee. Naruto: O.o –gags…runs to the bathroomZakura: Come on, Ino’s kind of hot… Sakura: YOU TRAITOR!! Zakura: She IS though! Sakura: NONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONO… Kimimaro, Gaara and Lee are fighting a group of tough-guys Kimimaro: -paper flies in front of his face- WE ARE KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING!! Gaara: I thought this was turn-based, don’t freak out you just went. The fuck? Telekinesis? DM: The man you are focusing does indeed get thrown against a wall. Gaara: -as one of the men gets thrown against the wall- Aww, hell yeah. Lee: -kicks one of the men across the hallway-

DM: Ok, one of them is dead, another two are unconscious, and the one the fighter just kicked is lying half-conscious on the ground. Gaara: -strides over to the man and kneels beside him- So, you’re part of the group that stole the artifact? –blinks- huh? Lee: Gaara, what are you talking about? Gaara: I have NO clue… Man: heh…so wha’ if I am? Gaara: -grabs the man’s hair- So I’m just a little pissed off about it. Kimimaro: Damn, looks like you got a role-player for your player…I’m sorry. Gaara: Huh? Man: A’rihgt…a’right…what d’ya wanna know? Gaara: Where is it? –looking at Kimimaro- can you explain this?! Kimimaro: It’s ok, it’s just the player-control Zakura told you about. That’s why Lee attacked the darkness and the turns happen. Gaara: If you say so… Man: It-it’s towards the east on the second level. Gaara: how do we get there? Man: I don’t know, they don’t tell us tha— Gaara: -pulls out knife- what was that? Man: Stop! ‘Ere’s a map…it’s marked on ‘ere, the stairs are jus’ a few meters down tha’ left corridor! Gaara: That so? Man: Y-yeah… Gaara: Well, thanks. –stabs man through the chest.- …SHIT! SHIT!! SHIT!!! NO! FUCK! I killed him! Kimimaro: So?

Gaara: I didn’t WANT to! Kimimaro: He’s just an NPC, it’s ok. Gaara: Whatever…I’ve tried to keep random killings off the agenda lately… Kimimaro: -pats shoulder as they head down the corridor- Some goals are just unattainable Gaara, I’m sorry to say. Gaara: Oh fuck you, read your letter. Kimimaro: -looks at letter finally- oh, they were all right. We all fought a lot, and disagreed on everything, but I’ve mentioned before that we’ve made a kind of dysfunctional family unit…and if they did I don’t wanna know…-shiversGIFLNARRICKYBOO! (you can actually pronounce that, if you try) Yer, it's me again! Sorries about the long time between meh reviews...Meh beloved compy, Prometheus by name, kinda went and `asploded. And then, of course, once I got him back...well, I had faster Internet, and so I pretty much wasted all my time on YouTube. Never before have I been able to OD on my favorite movies...THEY'RETAKINGTHEHOBBITSTOISENGARD!! Oops...I'm supposed to have questions for you guys. Oh, and by the way, I might not be totally up-to-date on the room...I got lazeh and just skimmed the previous chappies ::sweatdrop:: Anywhozits, questions! La preguntas! Nurr... 1. *gives Haku a magic book that will show him anything in the world he wants to see* Congradulations, dear! I think I spelled that wrong, but I don't care... 2. Zakura...forgive me for not including you on my list of "Naruto Women I Adore Beyond Reason". You see, when I wrote it, you were just in Sakura's mind...so, yeh. ::adds you to the list:: 3. And can I still do dares? Then I dare EVERYBODY to sing me happy birthday! Well...er...my birthday was a month ago, but I'm not too fussed. GYAHH! Hinata's here! She's mad awesome! And cute! And she'd be on my list, except that I'm more of a submissive person...Anyway. GOLDFISH ARE JUST JEALOUS OF CHEEZITS! ::gives everybody a Cheezit box:: Min, and have I missed the wedding? I wouldn't want to miss that, that would break my heart. `Cos, y'know, I just lurve Haku with all of my little black heart. Platonically! ::hides from Zabu-sama:: AND DEI-SAMA'S HERE!! If I'm not dressed as Haku for Halloweeners, I will TOTALLY be Deidara, yeah! And, my friend will be Sasori-danna. What color is his hair, anyway? I haven't seen him on Shippuden yet, `cos I've been too busy to watch it ;.; Kerfuffles. Kabuto and Itachi are in D&D! Kyaah! My math tutor plays that game. Hurr...would any of you boys (straight or not) wear a Jedi costume to your own wedding? Because my math tutor cursed me to marry a man who will want to wear a Jedi costume to the wedding. Dur, didn't say a woman who would, I'm off the hook! CHICKEN! Ehehehehehe...I'm gonna eat you! Speaking of which, do you all have enough food? `Cos, I would give you some if Lucifel would let me. Coconut-curried soup!! And noodles! GRAAH!! there's no butter for my noodles!! nu! I am butterless, like an ANIMAL! Hey, did you guys know that penguins are going to take over the earth and force us to pack HERRINGS? They are! I've started my own organization to stop them...we're the PFF (Penguin-Free Force). Anyone who s gets a tuxedo. So far, there are two . Me and my friend Eric, who's a nut, but a sexy, sexy nut. Don't tell his girlfriend I said that... YAY POKEMON!! I would sing the theme song, but I'm currently stuck on Sailor Moon music. That's a GREAT show to see uncut, because they're all lesbians! No lie! Well, some of them. Now what was I talking about? Oh yes, pokemon. What Pokemon would you guys all be if you were Pokemon? (out of the original 150...eh...152, I guess, since we have to count in Mew and Mewtwo...) You know the only thing that could make this party better? KARAOKE!! ::poofs up karaoke machine for the people:: WOO! And DDR! And TWISTER!! Break it down now, yo! ::tries to imitate DJ scratchy noise and fails miserably:: Hmm, Lucifel, if you want, you can just edit this. It was MAD WASOME to see my last review-letterramblings uncut..but meh, I understand you don't have the space or time. Anything that's edited, I'll just send again...and again...and again...Yep, I'm a stalker now!! ::dances her victory dance to Pirates techno remix::

Hrm...since I said DDR, I should probably give you guys a PS2...::poffs one up:: and the mats! And games! No, I wasn't thinking hentai games, not at all! :hides secret stash:: Oh, and I should have mentioned, the penguins are going to take the sake and the coffee. ! ::waves her banner with a penguin face with a slash through it:: Goodness, I think this buggah is even longer than the other letter I sentish. You can tell I have no life, hm? Well, guess what! I DO! I'm going to have one for 10 days in July, when I go to London! ONE SHORT DAY, IN THE EMERALD CITY!!...well, ten short days in London town... I'll bring back souveniers for you. Hey, I spelled that wrong too! ::shame:: Love, cheezits, ribbons, and WAFFLES! Arashi of the Red Scarf. PS: this letter is 783 words long.

Everyone: What…the…hell… Lucifel: ISN’T SHE HILARIOUS!?!?! Zakura: Hell yeah! Sakura: Hell no! This is ridiculous! Zakura: I bet she’s sexy. –devious smile- I should get on that…because I totally understand Arashi, that you didn’t recognize me. I’m cooler this way anyway. Haku: -is finally finished with Zabuza- Oooh! Fun! I want to see the shower of Johnny Depp while he’s in it!! – the book shows him thus- SQUEEEEE!!!! Everyone (even the people in the dungeons): Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Arashiiiiiiii!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!! Zakura: Ick…we should leave the singing to Kimimaro… Kiba: DUDE!! Of the pokemon I would totally be an Arkanine!! Everyone: You are so gay… Kiba: And Shino would be a beedrill, and Hinata would be a clefairy and Kurenai-sensei would be a Persian, Orochimaru would be an arbok and Jiraiya would be venusaur… Shino: You’re so fucking weird… Zakura: YAY for lesbian chicks! Wait…eric’s a boy and you think he’s sexy? You shame me as a lesbian! Sakura: He’s sexy? I wanna pic!! Zakura: Yes! Penguin killing club!! Hinata: Aww, I like penguins… Zakura: …I’m afraid I can’t endorse your club…

Kiba: I CAN!! Akamaru and I hunt birds all the time!! Hinata: Aww… Kiba: oh well…maybe not… Lee: Here you go. (Gives Lee a Utility Blade, a sturdy longsword filled with secret compartments containing healing potions, explosives, etc. that magically refill.) I'm sure you'll need it. BTW, I've played maybe 3 games of D&D in my life, but I've actually been asked to design weapons for a Dungeon Master.

Lee:-after glancing at one of the bodies- Whoa…look at that sword!! –grabs swordGaara: -mutters- Wish he’d grab my sword. Kimimaro: -snickerThey continue going on, following the map. They get up the stairs and go down several corridors. Lee is getting continually more tired, having taken the most damage in the last fights. Gaara: Lee? You doing ok? Lee: y-yeah I’m fine. Gaara: Do you want to rest? Lee: -shakes head- no. Gaara: ok…-worried glancesAs they continue down the hallway, they suddenly come to a door. Kimimaro hit the lock with a magic missile and they walk inside. DM: You are standing in a large, circular room, on the far side of which is another set of doors, and in the middle of it is a pedestal of medium height, resting upon which is a statue of a mottled rose, the size of a soccer ball, and pulsing blue light faintly. Kimimaro: -starts forward to take itDM: As you step forward, one of the tiles sink into the ground, and a section of the wall slides away. That happens. DM: Once the wall is slipped away, you can see a giant flesh golem standing there. It stands there silently for a second, and then rushes at you.

Thaaat happens too. Kimi/Gaa/Lee: SHIT!!!!!!! Meanwhile the little girl continues leading Itachi and Kabuto through lots of twisting ages, and eventually they come to a large set of doors. Elani: See, there’s something bad behind those doors. Itachi: Ok…well, let’s picklock these bitches. –goes up to the doors and pulls out some wires and stuff. And goes to work- … -after about ten minutes there’s a click and the doors swing open.When the doors open they can finally hear the shout and other sounds of battle, and they can see the other three fighting the flesh golem. Itachi: …Holy shit… Kabuto: What are you guys doing here?! Kimimaro: Kabuto! Gaara: A little help, guys?! Itachi: -throws two knives at the golem’s back, they both his and imbed themselves in his shoulder and lower backLee lops off an arm, Kimimaro manages to burn out it’s eyes and Gaara found his psionic powers useless against the thing and had to simply slash his way about it while Kabuto healed from the sidelines. They pwned that mothafucka. Itachi: Well, that wasn’t so hard… Kimimaro: Kabuto!! –runs to him, and Kabuto happily gathers him up in an embraceAs soon as they hug there’s a flash of light and when it fades there are five new people standing dumbly around the room. Gaara: So these are the people we were playing? They look like a bunch of pansies… Kabuto: -with Kimimaro still hanging off him- they’re only level two. Kimimaro: So now we just need to get out of here!

Gaara: Am I still a psion? –tries to do a jutsu- Yup…dammit. Lee: Who cares?! Yosh! It looks like we’ve still got all our stuff lets continue! Itachi: W00T!! Kabuto: Kimi…how long are you gonna hang off of me? Kimimaro: A while. Kabuto: …ok… Shino-san: n00b Sakura-san: She's right u know? ...O.o have u guys noticed Itachi-san hasn't had a frappuccino in more than 3 days?

Shino: -throws Kunai…the kunai hits the computer screen and falls to the groundDAMMIT!! Sakura: Who, Zakura? NO! She is not! Zakura: Ok, whatever piffle princess. Sakura: -glaresItachi: -reads letter- Well, that potion held me over for awhile and then having a real plot distracted me but now that mention it…I am kind of craving one… Kimi/Gaa/Kabu/Lee: uh-oh…O.o Haku: OK!! Hello everyone! My wedding is next week! Please send wedding gifts and honeymoon locations (we’ll go to everyone we like :D) by then! I’m using Kryah’s wedding Kimono and only Kabuto’s rose submitted brides-maid kimonos so we’re using hers, (they’re GORGEOUS) and Kohaku Kawa is deg the boy kimonos and Zabuza-san’s kimono! Zabuza: Say what? Haku: ALL OF YOU are expected to be there!! :3 I can’t wait to see you all! Bye bye!! Orochimaru: I HAVE BOOBIES!!

Ask Sakura 21 -Lots of explosions and noise and general cacophonyLucifel: HELLO MY LOVELY PEOPLE!! Today we bring you a double celebration!! Haku’s wedding AND St. Patrick’s Day!! Zakura: HEY!! We’re trying to have a wedding here bitch!! Lucifel: Let me set up the scene, Bitch!! Zakura: It’s already set up, whore! Lucifel: Well the fans need description, girl-banger! Zakura: Hey! Who just went on a date with a girl? Lucifel: But I didn’t BANG her!! We didn’t even kiss!! It was just as friends!! Zakura: And you think being trapped in Sakura’s body I’ve gotten any action?!?! Sakura: -pushing me and Zakura off-screen- Sooo, welcome all!! We’ve gotten lotsa great reviews for this wedding, which we’ll address (along with all the usual bunch of letters) during the reception!! Zakura: During we’ll have drinking! Lotsa drinking! To celebrate the good ‘ole Irish!!! Lucifel: YOSH!! Sakura: So…onto the wedding… The Wedding: They are situated in a valley surrounded on all side by tall snow-capped cliffs; there is a large lake on the northern half of the circular depression of earth, and rolling meadows on the rest of the land. There is a small gathering of people forming a half-circle on the southern shore of the lake, and just on the shore stand Zabuza and Haku. Tsunade stands on an elevated platform facing the crowd, making a long eulogy about the beauty and sanctity of love and marriage.

The crowd consists of everyone who was in the room, and all the fans (I LOVE YOU GUYS), along with, but not restricted to, Asuma, Gai, Temari, Iruka, Choji, Kotetsu, Izumo, and that family that was involved in the Haku/Zabuza arc whose names I don’t’ and don’t care about. The bridesmaids (wearing Kabuto’s Rose’s red kimonos with pink sakura blossoms) are; Sakura, Hinata, Kurenai, Orochimaru –snicker- and Zakura. The Groomsmen (wearing Kohaku Kawa’s dark blue kimonos with light blue wave patterns) are; Naruto, Kisame (by Zabuza’s request), Neji, Gaara, and Itachi. Plus, in the same outfits, Kiba, Shino and Kimimaro provided music and song. Zabuza is wearing a black kimono with a golden dragon pattern (also by Kohaku Kawa) and Haku is wearing the white silk kimono (by Kryah). Zabuza and Haku stand under a trellis on which crawl dozens of beautiful flowers, and there are more exotic plants beside it and ringing around the edge of the platform on which Tsunade stands decked out in full hokage robes to show her respect for the ceremony. Orochimaru has used an old jutsu he found to make it snow. The icy fluff now drifts down slowly as the ceremony goes on. Tsunade’s talk is brief and to the point, and Zabuza and Haku exchange promises, small, happy tears gathering in Haku’s eyes, and then Zabuza lifts his new bride high up and kisses him/her ionately and the crowd erupts with applause. (And Kiba, Shino and Kimimaro start up another song.) NOW ONTO THE RECEPTION!! They have a bunch of tables set up and the platform has been turned into a dance floor, while Shino, Kiba, and Kimimaro play towards the back of it. Kabuto: Now wait one goddamned minute!! –the music screeches to a halt- For one thing, WHY are Haku and Orochimaru-sama women?! For second, why haven’t the jonin or Tsunade tried to kill Orochimaru-sama or the other akatsuki?! Thirdly, aren’t Gaara Lee, Kimi, Itachi and I not even supposed to BE here?! Zakura: OK, one, we found out what the brown potions do… Jiraiya: -drools over OrochimaruOrochimaru: -to Tsunade- My boobies are nicer than yours. Tsunade: They are not!! Orochimaru: Jiraiya likes mine better!! Don’t you, Jiraiya? Jiraiya: -gurgle- bwaaaa…huh? Oh…yeah sure…. Tsunade: -rolls eyes- Well congrats on being the favorite of the blubbering idiot.

Orochimaru: -smileZakura: Second- Don’t question the powers of a fangirl and a mental creation when it comes to making everyone get along, and finally, you just happened to get lucky and the DM is out sick this weekend. Kabuto:…what? Zakura: Well, without the DM the world can’t exist so…yeah…just be happy about it and move on. All right, we’re gonna have some questions, and everyone better start dancing! -The music restarts and several braves couples that I don’t feel like defining get up and dance hesitantly on stage.Kyuubi: I have respect for you not only as a master of death, destruction and general unpleasant ness, but as a demon sophisticated enough for classical –giggles- but why leaf? Sakura: What would you consider yourself and are chicken asses in style? Where’s Gai-sensei and the other jonin? He needs to let Lee unleash his youth on Gaara! Anna Kyuubi: Dude, because they left their lights on all night. I told you all that. Plus it was just kind of…there…

Naruto: -sighSakura: I would consider myself a teenaged kunoichi… Zakura: -while krunking it out on the dance floor- You know what they mean!! Sakura: I’m STRAIGHT, you nosy jerks! Zakura: As I’ve said before…you to curse more… Sakura: Xp Gai: What’s this about Lee getting into a fight with Gaara? Kurenai: That’s…not what she means… Gai: What else would she mean? Kurenai: Never mind…do you wanna dance? Gai: Why yes, I’d love to. Kurenai: -blushJira/Asu: grrrrr

Lee: -While he and Gaara stand by one of the tables laden with all the rejected food from before…plus lotsa sake and beer and whiskey…all dyed green- Yosh! Go Gai-sensei!! Gaara: What does Kurenai see in a man like him? Lee: His courage and energy to say the least! He’s one of the best men around! That’s why I want so much to be just like him! Gaara: -blush- yeah…I guess I can see where she’s coming from… Lee: Well, you know, you are a man so you couldn’t hope to understand why women are so entranced by men like him…-shiney-eyed iring glance at GaiGaara: Actually I really can… Lee: ? Gaara: Uh…nevermind…hey do you wan— Tenten: Hey Lee!! You’ve been gone so long! Where have you been? Tell me while we dance!! –pulls Lee to the dance floorGaara: I…uh…DAMMIT. Naruto: Dude…what was that all about? Gaara: Nothing…dammit why must he be so fucking hot?! Naruto: Who? Lee? Gaara: …yeah… Naruto: Ewww Gaara: How are you talking? Naruto: HA! I drank that orange potion, and it’s a curse removal!! Zakura: Yeah but…the curse ended today anyway… Naruto: …-twitch- dammit… Itachi & Gaara why are you guys so hott? and itachi kill sasuke already -love itachi's sharingon lover Itachi: It’s a natural gift.

Gaara: -raising sake cup in salute- Word.

Itachi: I’m not gonna kill that little cutie…wonder why he’s not here… Kisame: -to Zabuza- So…dude…you got married. Zabuza: yeah, I figure I had managed to die a bachelor, may as well. Kisame: Good enough, good enough…and she is a cutie. Zabuza: Don’t I know it. Thank for coming man. Kisame: Of course, sorry cartman and the others couldn’t make it…Kenny really wanted to come. Zabuza: s’cool. Kisame: Cool. Gifts and questions: Kimimaro a spell lee some green armour gaara a robe Hinata why do you have such low esteem Zakura the more i read about u the more i love you so i give you a hug and a kiss -hug and kissTarkemelhion P.S good luck at ur weeding haku and if i didnt fear my health i'd give you a hug

Kimimaro: -tucks spell away and keeps singingLee: Ooooh, cool!! Tenten: What’s that for? Lee: For fighting the monsters!! Tenten: ? Temari: -saunters over to Tenten- Hey, girl. So, you wanna learn some of my moves? Gaara: -gags at her cheesy pickup linesTenten: O-oh…sure…-bluuushGaara: -gapes but then turns away and puts on robe, it’s a smexy robe and hugs his back/chest muscles nicely- …hey…nice. Hinata: O-oh…it’s just…y’know…family stuff. Zakura: Screw your family!! Come dance!

Hinata: Oh but I’m no good at— Zakura: I’ll teach you!! Dance! Come on! –quickly gets hugged and kissed and then goes back to puppy-dog-eyeing HinataHaku: Aww, you can hug me!! –hugs TarkyZabuza: -glares and hugs Haku closeHaku: Teehee. way to go Orosama -_- don't let Jiraiya get too boob crazy or he'll go back to being straight. for the wedding present I give you both a traditional Japanese house in a secluded mountain forest *cough*likeinLoyaltyEternal*cough* where the mist or anyother village's anbu cannot find you. I give you also a pretty wedding cake. It is chocolate cake with white frosting, silver decoratioans and sakura blossoms. Orochimaru: So long as I’m a woman who CARES if he’s straight?!

Tsunade: -raises handOrochimaru: What, you got the hots for him? Tsunade: eww, no, I want him to be gay so he wont hit on me. Orochimaru: -hangs off of JiraiyaHaku: KYAA!! WE HAVE A HOUSE!! Zabuza: We’re dead…what’re we gonna do with a house? Haku: Haunt it! Zabuza: …that could be fun. Haku: -gasp- We’ve got CAKE!! Everyone: -stops still and then…STAMPEDE TO THE CAKE!! This is 4 Sakura,what did u think of Kabuto when u first saw him? Oh and Sakura,Sasuke is gay.Sorry! ~*$LiL-Princess-of-death$*~

Sakura: -through mouthful of cake- My exact thought? Ewwww… Kabuto: she LIES!!

Sakura: Nu-uh, I thought you were really pretty creepy… Zakura: She’s actually not lying this time! Sakura: See? And besides, Sasuke is not gay. He’s just confused. Itachi: Yeah his head is too full of my –ahem- ‘body’ to think anything clearly… Orochimaru: -gasp- How will I screw Sasuke now?! Jira/Tsu/Kure/Saku/jonin: -twitchItachi: Strap-ons? Orochimaru: Oh yeah, no worries. Hello everyone! Congrats again Haku and Zabuza on your marriage. For your honeymoon might I suggest the Atlantis Resort in Nassau, Bahamas. I give you the biggest suite which is the hugest hotel room ever that is actually a bridge kind of suspended like 30 stories high and hanging between two towers. I hope you enjoy it. As for your wedding present I give you an Aston Martin, which is a totally awesome car, I don't know if either of you can drive but you can learn. It is very expensive so please treat it well! Congrats again! I hope you have an awesome wedding, honeymoon and life together!! A Falling Angel Haku: Thanks!! Wow! This is great! We can drive to all our honeymoon locations!!

Zabuza: do you drive? Haku: no you! Zabuza: …ok…suuuure… Haku: Kyaaa this is so exciting!! Asuma: -aside to Gai- So where were they hiding the cute girls in our generation? Gai: -shrugs and shakes head- Ah, the younger generation always seems so much more energetic and youthful…it’s sad how we have to fade… Asuma: …I need to stop talking to you…-notices Shikamaru who is sitting with Choiji while Cho eats twenty pieces of wedding cake- oh… -walks over to ShikaA.H.S.: -Yawns lightly, snuggling into Hidan's arms in full Gothica style.- Hi all! How's it going? Hidan: -Looks around- Better hurry...I think Sasori's coming again...A.H.S: Shit!! anyhow...Zakura!! Can you please either allow Deidara to come here for an hour to talk to Saso-kun or allow me to hide there for a chappy or two? Gaara!! I dare you to profess your feelings to Lee! Kiba...Shino...Please kiss and make up!! It makes me feel sad to kno- Gah!! -points- WTF are you doing here Sasuke?! Sasu: -Blinks- You mean this isn't Papi Chillos? Everyone: -Twitches. Till Sasori bounds in, grabbing for her!- A.H.S: Gah!! -Runs!- Help me!

Zakura: Oh yeah, that’s why A.H.S. is hiding under the tables with the akatsuki.

Zabuza: Shit, if Sasori wants to come wreak havoc that’s ok by me… Haku: Aww…aren’t you having fun? Zabuza: Of course I am. I’m with you. Haku: -happy blushGaara: Noooo!! Lee: Why? How do you feel about me? –innocent smileGaara: I buwaha…glah…frglxjkyzzl…hrrrrg… Zakura: It was a dare Gaara, you can’t ignore it. Gaara: Kjllkyzpk? Zakura: …Well, once you fix your tongue you better tell him. By the end of this thing at least. Sakura: Oh come on, it’s Haku’s wedding, we only need one profession of love today, Lee: why? Who’s professing their love? –looks aroundSaku/Zaku: …-.-‘ Gaara: …hrgmfk… Itachi: Damn, Sasuke is just poping into all the fans houses… Kiba: Yeah, why are you mad at me anyway Shino? Shino: -ignoresKiba: Shino…talk to me…-whinesShino: You’re not getting anywhere with all that childish whining… Kiba: I love you… Shino: Whatever. Go dance with Kurenai, she looks pleasantly buzzed… Kiba: I don’t wanna. We have to go play some more after this cake anyway…please?

Shino: You’re just worried you wont get laid anymore. Kiba: No! that’s not…well, it’s not ALL of it. Shino: -scoff- What did I see in you? Kiba: The same thing you hopefully still do see in me? Shino: …I don’t know… Kiba: Come on!! You’re blowing this out of proportion! I just kissed Kurenai! Shino: that’s not even all of it! You never it to being with me! You always get all defensive when someone calls you gay! You’re obviously not comfortable with this relationship. How am I supposed to think you really love me when you act like this? Kiba: I…I don’t know… Shino: That’s what I thought…-stalks offKiba: -whimperYay! Many Thankies for using my kimono, Haku (and Zabuza)! You guys should go to Hawaii for your honeymoon (I know, so cliched), then you can visit me! I give you as a wedding present... An ultimate gaming system because I'm at a loss for ideas. It's ultimate because it comes with all games and is any system. So, now that Haku is a girl how many kids are you guys going to have? How are you gonna get Tsunade at the wedding when she has so much work to do? Anyway, I give one hug to Zakura, and one hug to Kyuubi because he's such a cute little chibi fox, yes he is, aw... *continues to coddle Kyuubi in this fashion* Am I scareing you yet? Anyway, I give a kiss to Kabuto and... that's all I have to say, I LOVE YOU KABUTO! ~Rose

Haku: WE HAVE ANOTHER HONEYMOON STOP!!! Zabuza: How are we gonna drive to all these islands? Haku: We’ll manage. Zakura: You could probably fly on his cuteness alone… Haku: Kya! Video games! Yay! Now I can play grand theft auto even while I’m dead!! Everyone: O.o Zakura: Grand…theft…hwa? Haku: What? I like Zabuza-san’s games… Zabuza: -snicker-

Tsunade: I always make it to a wedding. They’re way important than paperwork. And In definitely don’t have Shizune tied up under the platform…ahahaha. Everyone: O.O Tsunade: Uh…yeah…ehehe… Zakura: -accepts hugKyuubi: Get away! GET AWAY!! Kabuto: NO! NO KISSING!!! –runs around the valley with rose chasing himKimimaro: Hey! Leave him alone! –tackles RoseKabuto: Thanks Kimi…I owe you… Kimimaro: Just one dance. Kabuto: oh…ok… Anyway, happy wedding-ness, guys! Save mine for later so my question can be given to Zabuza after the wedding. Zabuza: How do you feel right now? Kyuubi: I dare you to... (in eerie, high voice) Do a little dance... Haku and Zabuza: Here's my wedding gift! Straight from the souvenir shops of modern Tokyo... a COOL THING! TM COOL THING is a small, metallic, white-blue orb. When you touch it, things pop out of it, then slowly retract. Thing is, you never know what COOL THING does until you need it... Kyuubi: (Same voice as before) Da-ance... About the D&D thing: Yeah, I'm a nerd. But it could be worse. I could be an EVIL nerd, like Kabuto. -Avatarjk137

Haku: thank you so much! –starts playing with COOLTHINGZabuza: Like the luckiest man in the world…-kisses HakuHaku: Darling I’m trying to play with this thing… Zabuza: -raises eyebrow- oh really? –tacklesHaku: Kyaa! Kyuubi: I refuse. Zakura: But you can’t. Kyuubi: No…no I really refuse… Zakura: but you CAN’T.

-stare-downZakura: At least do the electric slide with us. Kyuubi: FINE! I’ll do the damn electric slide… Zakura: WOOT!! Everybody on stage!! Neji: Hey…where are Shikamaru and Asuma? Zakura: …hold off on the electric slide for a minute!! We’ve got a sex scandal to uncover…. OMG YAY HAKU'S WEDDING!! :D Here's your present! Its a little porcelain heart thing...FROM MEXICO! It's like a jewelry box so it's mostly for Haku...so for Zabuza I give you 1,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0 gift card for Best Buy! -gives presents- Kabuto how do you feel that Orochimaru is a girl now? Also what color are those gloves you wear? I need to know cuz I'm cosplaying as you for an anime convention. :3 Bella-QueenOfTehWaffles Haku: Oooh, yay! It’s so pretty!!

Zabuza: yes! Gratuitously gorey movies, here I come!! Kabuto: Kind of…mortified…I liked him better as a man… Kimimaro: -muttering- I like you as a man… Kabuto: what was that? Kimimaro: N-nothing…-blushKabuto: ook… Zakura: AHA!! I FOUND THEM!! THEY’RE…They’re…playing shogi? And indeed they are. Shikamaru: Is this not allowed or something? Asuma: What else would we be doing? Zakura: You know! ionate secret love and all that jazz!! Asuma: -horrorShikamaru: -blush- your fantasies are so troublesome…

Zakura: Well, dammit…fine, come do the elctric slide with us…-stalks off mutteringAsuma: -phewShikamaru: -phew-they go to dance(flies on stage using dragon wings) Hey!Snake bastard! yeah you! Ever heard of Theif King Bakura and his half demon/half snake pal Diabound? No? He'll whoop your bloody ass! 1.He has the power of a god a monster that can phase through walls and a dragon on his side! 2. He can BANISH souls! 3. He CAN'T die! Orochimaru: Ok, well I have a whole village of elite ninja on my side, jii-san sandaime already tried the whole banish/sealing thing, and so what if he can’t die? If you’re a good anime fan at all you’d know immortality means nothing. Every enemy can be defeatedby the hero!! Jira/Tsu: You’re not the hero! Orochimaru: -sticks out tongue…and steals the cake off Jiraiya’s plateTsunade: Eww… Jiraiya: -drips blood from noseHaku/Zabuza congrats on the wedding! I have gifts and questions! First off –gives Zabuza a infinite amount of kick-ass sword stuff, the complete collection of the inu-yasha show and condoms…Haku IS a girl now so you may need those…unless you both want kids…moving on! –gives Haku a new set of needles and all the kinds of nailpolish EVER a very large collection of Edgar Allen Poe and her favorite type of music- Have fun! Anyhow no questions… how is Tsunade going to do it? Shizune will force her to do paperwork…why not Gaara who is the kazekage? Or oroshimaru who is, techinically, otokage. Anyhow, enjoy your wedding, let me know if anyone messes it up cuase I wanna help kick their asses! Haku: Thank you very much!! …oh yeah…condoms…whoops… Zabuza: psssh, I don’t use condoms. –throws condoms away over shoulderHaku: Kya!! You wanna have kids?! Zabuza: -dives to catch condomsHaku: -giggleZabuza: -caught them- phew…oh, thanks and stuff. Haku: KYAA!! Nailpolish!! POE!! YAYAYAYAAYYA!!! Tsunade: -shifty eyes- like I said…I didn’t have to tie Shizune up or anything…-kicks stage where, on the other side of, scratching can be heard- so where’s Kakashi?! Haku: I don’t know…he was totally invited… -meanwhile, something dark and horrible rises up out of the frappuccino pool.Kankuro: hrrg…wha? –wakes up and turns around- What…what…No! NOOO!! AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!! -soo, back at the wedding…Haku: Oh yeah, I guess Gaara could have done it…teehee, silly me. Oh well, this way I got to have my wedding out of the room!

Lucifel: No, like I said, I just know everyone would kill me if I didn’t make this wedding everything Haku wants… Haku: -blissfully happyZakura: All right lets go!! -They do the electric sideI need some advice. It can be from anyone, I just need a little perspective. What do you do when your "Best Friend" starts to tell everybody that your a backstabbing whore becaus you recently became like a sister to their crush?...sorry to bother you all with my stupid problem.. Kirchi

Sakura: Well you know you should— Itachi: I got this one. The only answer for a situation like this is mass murder. Orochimaru: Usually by way of sheep. Itachi: Definitely. Zakura: Hell yeah! Oh and you mentioned bringing one of us to Italy… Itachi: I WANNA GO!!! Zakura: Shut up you. Take anyone who’s not playing D&D right now. Itachi: fuck you. Sakura: I deserve to go!! Zakura: You can’t. Without you there’s no one to run this thing. Sakura: But you all took over it anyway! Zakura: Whatever: -makes ‘w’ signOrochimaru: I WANNA SEE EUROPE!! Jiraiya: I WANNA SEE TOPLESS EUROPEAN WOMEN!! Kurenai: -throws skilletTHUNK Jiraiya: -collapseAsuma: Yeah…that skillet was always kind of annoying… Shikamaru: Why do you men deal with such troublesome women?

Asuma: -shrugs- Something about women, y’know? You can’t help it… Shikamaru: -scoff- Or about love in general… Asuma: -putting hand on Shika’s shoulder- …Or about love in general. CAN I HUGGLE YOU CHIBI-KYUUBI?!?? I WANNA HUGGLE YOU! amber: great. shes high on mountain dew... oh, orochimaru, incase you were wondering, i have been the one attempting to throw firey things at you. mostly anyway. can i please hit him with one lucifel?or can you just light him on fire once? i wanna see him burn! thats my dream in life ^^ anyay, have a great wedding haku! oh!!did you freaking know, duckies say quack!!COWS SAY MOO TOO!!ITS REALLY AMAZING! OMG! i totally didnt know until yesterday! And kiba, you can shut up about freakin pokemon. its annoying me. i am bored of them now. is this too long? im sorry T_T amber: i wish she'd shut up! evil... anyway, what are you gonna do now that your a girl, orochimaru? its wierd cuz now you might get pregnant, so might haku. i dunno. PLEASE CAN I HUG YOU KYUUBI! PLEASE!! oh, for zakura, i will give you -whispers- naked pics of hinata. but keep it a secret! say hi and stuff amber! lemme go get your coco now... amber: ok. hi. how are you? i dont care.im fine. zakura, can you be my friend, we're a lot alike, only im bi. coco! yay! want some? NO!! i dont wanna make more! amber: is that your choice? -sigh- who wants coco? amber: thats what i thought... Sakura: …Someone needs to keep H. T. away from the soda we have here for the wedding. Zakura: -glancing over- She’s part of the hoard trying to hug Kyuubi, she’s ok for now...we’ll just keep an eye on her. –shiftily puts photographs in inside pocketHaku: We should all have coco!!! -H.T. is forced to provide coco for everyone. Yay for involuntary slave laborWhile they’re all drinking their cocoa, being all friendly and whatnot from the dark lake suddenly and frappuccino-splattered figure rises. A few people scream before they realize; it’s just Kakashi. Sakura: Kakashi-sensei!! Why were you late?! It’s rude!! Kakashi: I’m sorry I got…THROWN INTO A FUCKING FRAPPUCCINO POOL!!!! Naruto: eh, the line about the road of life was better. Kakashi: Anyway, it’s cool…I’m just a frappuccino zombie now. Sakura: Oh, haha…wait, what? Kakashi: -starts ransacking the place- I will turn the brain of the one who threw me into the pool into a frappuccionooooo!! Gaara: hehe, I pity the foo who did that. Kimimaro: Uh, Gaara? You did. Gaara: Hehehe…hehe…what? I did? I DID!! SHITSHITSHIT!!! –runs and hidesGai: Gah! No! My rival has beaten me!! He managed to come back from the dead as a frappuccino zombie! I must prove that I, too can come back from the dead!! –prepares for seppukuLee: GAAH! No sensei! Think of it that you beat him by surviving longer!!

Gai: Oh…good point. Well, now let’s see if I can’t vanquish this sugary caffienated zombie!! -Gai and Kakashi duke it out it the distanceLee: YOSH!! Go Gai-sensei! Hey HakuXZabu isnow a hetero couple but does that make Haku like michael jackson in the firld that he converted from a boy to a girl...anyways on with the questions... Sakura: Ok really stop being yourself in the regular series and be yourself in the shippuden you're cooler than Zakur...nm.. Hinata: Since I am a derranged idiot i dare you to kiss Neji hurray for incest Zabuza: -pulls out sword- where’s the kid who said Haku’s like M.J.?

Zakura: Hiding under the table with A.H.S….I’ll help you drag him out. Sakura: No, no! Leave him alone! Zakura: I could probably talk A.H.S. into giving him to us… Hinata: Wuh…what?! I can’t kiss Neji!! Itachi: But it’s JUST incest!!! Kabuto: ..guh…eww Neji: You heard the man! –kisses herItachi: Now, now Neji. The dare is for HER to kiss YOU not the other way around… Zakura: THAT COUNTS!!! –seethes- I’m so gonna kill this kid… just when I thought Orochimaru couldnt get any sexier...I was right and you turned into THAT... anyways...-gives haku present wrapped in shiny,shiny paperKabuto: why do you wear glasses? you'd think an experienced male nurse such as yourself would know a jutsu to see better or something... much love, wewacian ps, Kyuubi...have some loud obnoxious polka to annoy the others when they call you cute -hands cds and cd player and stereo and speakers and extra speakersOrochimaru: I am TOO sexy like this!!

Jiraiya: -nodnodnodTsunade: -gagsHaku: Oooooh…-plays with shiny paperKabuto: Well…that’s actually…a really boring story… Kimimaro: He tried once. –giggles- He had fine eyesight and then tried to make it like, times ten for normal humans and ended up maming his eyeballs.

Kabuto: hrmmmm…. Kimimaro: haha, he was too terrified to ever try again. –snickersKabuto: Shut up. You’re mean… Kyuubi: -connects polka music to the speakersEveryone: NOOOOO!!! Kakashi: -suddenly collapsesGai: I have vanquished him!!! Kyuubi: hmmm…-turns off polkaKakashi: -raises up- GRAAAAAH!!! Kyuubi: -turns music back onKakashi: -collapsesAsuma: …so the zombie is weak against polka music…? Shikamaru: Don’t ask…don’t EVEN ask… Anyway I have decided on one thing I will let 5 people be the judge of whether or not you get the sterio and you still will have to listen to the CDs of Atreyu Death grip on Yesterday and Avenged Sevenfold City of Evil the people are Naruto-san duh, Hinata-chan, Deidara-Kun, Haku, and Itachi even though he's not there he won't have to listen to it so if those 5 say yes you get it but have to listen to the Cd's but Naruto and Hinata won't have to if they listen to their own music that I tossed in their earlier yay. And now for random crap that Angel might edit out. Hopefully you guys will survive. Itachi please kill one of them preferably Lee or Kabuto. I hope you guys had as much fun as I did. By Lyon Ryuushi Haku: Of COURSE you can all have the stereo!

Hinata: Yeah…sure…o-of course… Naruto: I want the stereo! So yeah! Itachi: Whatever. I don’t CARE. Deidara: Nope. Everyone: Gah. NOOO!! WHYYY?! Deidara: I’m a bitch…yeah. Everyone: -sniffles-

Itachi: I don’t feel like it… HAVE A NEW TITLE NOW!! ...Arashi the Uncut and Unedited! I LIKE it! Anyway...yay!! Singing! To me!! That totally made my day! Speaking of my day...Orochimaru, I found something eviler than you and Itachi combined! OUR STATE'S STANDARDIZED TESTS. Ohh, how I sympathize with you all...trapped in a room...gah. With lazy-people sammiches! Haku, dear, I would have come up with kimonos for you...::points to wastebasket full of crumpled sketches:: but I could design nothing worthy of you. Oh, and my question for you is: Do you want flowers at your wedding? If you do, can I do them? I know lots 'bout flowers. Like, there's this tree, and it looks like it's a red cloud. And there are these flowers that look JUST like fireworks. Woo! ::rubs the back of her head:: I sowwy to be a disgrace, Zakura. It's not as though I'd date him, `cos I wouldn't. But he gave me bouncy techno music. VENGABOYS, HOO FRIKIN YEAH!! Er...next question...Gaara...If you got changed into a girl, would you be a lesbian or would you remain gay, which would technically make you straight? Er...confuzzled myself. And...Hinata...same question, just reversed. If that makes sense, which it doesn't, really. OMG I JUST ED!! I'm going to a ComicCon!! My first ever, since I never have the moneys...I'm dressing as Haku and plan on using needles to fight my way to the pocky tables!! POCKY! And Ramune! Ramune comes in these awesome little bottles that have a marble in them and they roll! My Nii-san went to a convention but he only brought back empty bottles because he's EVIL and I was sad. I think I'm getting sick, `cos I have a headache. Maybe I'm just suffering from caffeine withdrawal. I made this syrup (by boiling coffee and sugar together until thick) so I could survive the damned Daylight Saving time change, but I'm out. I pity you all...trapped without coffee...blessed coffee...I'm sorry I'm not so psychotic today...coffee is needed. DONATE TO MEH COFFEE FUND! Hey, do Akatsuki get paid? `Cos, they should. They're just awesome like that. I'M GONNA SING THE DOOM SONG NOW! No, I'm not. Love, sorries, and RAMUNE! Arashi of the Red Scarf (who has a headache, and will feel better as soon as the horrible CSAPs ) PS: this letter is 395 words long...::sigh:: that’s like half my last letter... Haku: Thank you for the flowers Arashi!!

Zabuza: yeah…thanks… Zakura: Meh, it’s ok. You’re cool so long as you do…favors for me…-dives onto ArashiSakura: AHHH!! NOOO!! Gaara: I’d keep liking who I like… Zakura: Hey, you can talk again… Gaara: Hrrk!! NOOOOOO!! –runs awayZakura: -almost chases, but decides to stay with ArashiHinata: i…don’t know…I’d probably still like the same people. –side-glances at NarutoNaruto: -OBLIVIOUSSakura: Anyway, good to hear from ya Arashi!! First off im sorry Lucifel but I cant be your pet...ive had a bad experiance in that realm...hehehe... To Kyuubi: Eat someone in the room and youll grow hehe... Finally -does hand seals after biting thumb and says kuchiyose no jutsu to summon manda!- Hehehe He's

in a very bad mood so some of you might potentially die..Well im gonna go play poker with the DM ( Lucifel and Zakura can if they want)

Lucifel: Well FINE. Jaden’s my pet anyway. –snuggles JadenNaruto: -GASP- The mysteriously shadowed girl cuddling Emperor Jaden must be Lucifel! Lucifel: Eep. –poofs away-MeanwhileManda appears in the room. Manda: ? where am I…huh…this is very, very annoying…-notices the knocked-out Kankuro- hmm…yumm… -back at the weddingZakura: Don’t catch the flu. He’s got it pretty bad. Lucifel: I’m in!! I can’t catch an illness I made!! Congratulations Haku for getting married AND becoming a female! welcome to the world of females... You will find out about the crappy stuff that come with being female.. How many times can I say female? Let's not find out. ANYWAYS! I would like to send you and Zabuza to a) Tokyo!(I lova Japan..) b) Paris! (I also love .. But I don't like French people) b) LAPLAND! (it's REALLY beautiful at winter. And it's in Finland. And Finland is in Europe JUST SO YOU KNOW!) Oh and your wedding gifts would be... okay so I can't think of any! Maybe those honeymoon would do... To everyone else... HI! Deidara is my rolemodel! Exploding stuff and all... It's too bad our teacher in chemistry won't let us make a bomb or explode anything.. Orochimaru... It's just WRONG that you have become a woman... Haku: OH YAY!!! Lots of places to go!! Driving to do! YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

Zabuza: Stingy bastard. Haku: No, I don’t mind about the presents! –smileDeidara: Explosions are fun…yeah…you should make explosions anyway. Teachers suck…yeah… Orochimaru: Maybe it’s just RIGHT that I’m a woman. Jiraiya: I’ll say. LOLZ! great story Lucifel -blows Lucifel a kiss to show how much she loved it- AKATSUKI ROCK! okay questions Itachi: heres a frappucino for surviving 3 days wivout well dun! how did you find out about akatsuki? Gaara: Are you related to the sandman? Everybody: who's a virgin and who isn't, i think somethings have changed since the beginning of this ff. kk thats all! once again luv the ff lucifel, oh and NARUTO LOVES ITACHI AND SASUKE IT'S A WELL KNOWN FACT HE GETS MOLESTED BY UCHIHAS!

June x

Lucifel: YAY!! Kisses!! Itachi: YES!!!!!! –Slurps frappuccino greedily- So, yeah, I slept with this one guy— Deidara: -Raises handItachi: So yeah, he invited me in afterwards. T’was cool. Deidara: -nodsGaara: -glaresZakura: -catches him.- Lets go boy…-drags him to LeeGaara: -dragging heels- No…noooo… Zakura: -throws him at Lee- SAY IT!! Lee: -catching Gaara- ? Gaara: I…I… Zakura: Just SAY IT!!! Gaara: ILOVEYOULEE!! Lee: -blinks- Oh wow Gaara… Gaara: -blushblushblushLee: I love you as a brother in arms too! I never thought you were such a kind-hearted comrade!! Zakura: …you’re really lucky he’s such an airhead. OI! Virgins!! RAISE YOUR HANDS!! Hina/Naru/Saku/Cho: -raise handsZakura: Hot damn. We’re all sluts. Asuma: OR pimps. Zakura: not in YOUR case!

Asuma: You bitch… Zakura: And I don’t even try. Zakura-chan: do u mind the suffix? anyway, y don't u come out more often in the series? Kiba-san: LAY OFF THE FRIGGIN POKEMON MAN ( u'll have a heart attack if u don't) whatthehellwasithinkin

Zakura: Well, sama would be better…but whatever. And because, Sakura doesn’t usually need this much straightening out. Naruto: So you come out to help Sakura when she’s in a fix? Zakura: what?! NO!! Naruto: Sure... Kiba: What’s wrong with pokemon?! Asuma: For one, most kids over ten don’t like it anymore…none with taste anyway… Kiba: …meanies. Congratulations! Happy wedding day! Hope you like the sweet surprise in the middle of your ice cream mountain. Don't forget about the mini-bar I gave ya a couple chapters back either! Gosh, weddings are so nice... 1) So Kyuubi, how does it feel to be about as big as your average chiuahua? Punk... 2) Kiba, what's your favorite pokemon? Nerd... heheh. For the two honeymooners, uh, honeymoon, I would suggest a nice, peaceful escape into the wilderness of Washington State. It's where I'm from, so you'd definitely like it. Hope you guys have a great honeymoon regardless! *standing resplendent in my own wedding kimono, I beam with pride and goodwill at the happily married couple* Later, Khellan Rafe

Haku: Oooh! Oh yeah! Now that we’ve eaten food and cake, it’s time for ice cream!! Everyone: YAY!! –eats-…WTF?! Fudge and peppermint? Haku: Yummmm. THANKS KHELLEN!! Kyuubi: I’m as big as the average cocker spaniel you bastard!! Kurenai: Because that makes all the difference in the world. Kyuubi: IT DOES!!! Kiba: Oooh! Jigglypuff!!

-cricketsKiba: What? She’s like, invincible with that song of hers…plus I’m on a sugar high from ice cream. Zakura: One; you LIKE that abomination of an ice cream flavor? And two…you better hope that’s the only reason you’re being such a flaming fag. Kiba: I am not… Shino: -snort- typical… Kiba: -whineHaku: Oh! The wilderness will be lovely! Maybe we could make a southern detour to the redwoods! This’ll be so lovely!! Zakura: Ok, let’s get the last few things out of the way, eh? Kurenai: SPEECH FROM THE GROOM!! Everyone: SPEECH!! SPEECH!! Zabuza: Fuck no… Everyone: SPEEEEEEECH!!! Haku: Please? Zabuza: -sigh- … -stands- Ok…so…Umm…originally I never thought I would go to the trouble of getting married. Never even thought I would fall in love but…then I met Haku. I fell in love. I didn’t even notice I had but…this boy showed me everything I had been missing in my life. And still, although this is all to frilly and fancy for me…for him it’s worth it. –kisses HakuEveryone: WOOOOOT!!! YEAH!!!! WOOHOOO!!! Kisame: -shakes head at Zabuza’s sillinessHaku: Speech from the maid of honor!! Sakura: Who’s the maid of honor? Haku: Naruto!

Naruto: Hey… Haku: :3 Naruto: Umm…fine…well, I only met Haku once before all that happened recently but… even in that little time I could tell that he was a sweet, beautiful boy, who looked at a world which had cuased him great pain and suffering with a certain singular innocence and kindness that no one could match. …Especially in his love for Zabuza. And, as much as I don’t really trust this groom…I know it’s with Zabuza that Haku is happiest. Congrats you guys. -Thunderous applauseZakura: Ok, we’re gonna move on with this PARTAY!! -They do the Macarena, the electric slide again, the chacha, swing dance, headbanging/thrashing. Of course, they have to have polka playing with it the whole time to keep Kakashi out of it. Everyone dances a whole bunch, and Gaara got Lee to dance with him…but then fainted and never actually got to. Kimimaro consoled him after finishing his dance with Kabuto. Orochimaru was glued to Jiraiya’s side the whole night, and Tsunade hung with them too…until Shizune broke out and pulled her off to finish paperwork. Shikamaru went back and forth from hanging with Choji to Asuma and they all made fun of how Ino skipped just to go to a club or something…the whore. Temari and Tenten ended up making out…and more…backstage, and then Zakura and Arashi ed in. Neji got laid by the drunk duo of Kotetsu and Izumo. Hehhe. Kurenai was dancing with all the men, especially Khellen Rafe. So yeah, after dancing with Kimi he ended up dancing with Sakura a whole lot…yayeah. Shino continues to ignore Kiba coldly, going as far as to flirt with Genma. SO, after a lot more of this, Haku and Zabuza started to finish up and prepare for their honeymoon.Kiba: -Suddenly jumps on stage- HEY EVERYONE!! Everyone: -quiets and looks overKiba: Ok, so, congrats on the wedding, and I hate to take the attention away but I have something VERY important to say! Haku: YAY!! Go on Kiba! Kiba: -deep breath- OK! I am Kiba Inuzuka and I am completely, head-over-heals, uncontrollably in love with Shino Aburame! –jumps down, gathers Shino up and kisses him deeplyShino: -stunnedKiba: I love you, man.

Shino: I…I love you too… Kiba: -kisses him againShino: -kisses him backEveryone: -APPLUASE!!Haku: I’m so glad my wedding brought about so much love…Well, off to our honeymoon everyone!! Zabuza: Later bitches. -they drive away…if you can call it driving…into the sunset-All the fans are returned home, (so you’re gone guys, GONE I say), and after cleaning up, everyone is returned to the room and/or dungeonSakura: Boy…I’m glad we managed to stow Kakashi away in Asuma’s closet… Everyone: no shit.

Ask Sakura 22 Lucifel: Wassup, wassup my home dogs?! I wanna give ya’ll a little warning about the new author on the block. Her name’s Kryah and her first story was FREAKING AWESOME and want all ya’ll to read it! It’s called Usachan and it’s the best shit around as far as haku/zabu fluff goes. :) Haku: I loved it! And so did Zabuza!!! Zabuza: -sitting on the hood of the car with a map- fucking map…is that right…shit it’s upside down…fuck, are we really that far out?! Haku: …He’ll tell you all about it when he’s done figuring out how we got in the Nevada desert on our way to the Bahamas… Lucifel: Ok, sorry I was late this time!! My bad, but it was a CRAZY weekend, no lie. I did a lot of editing, to everyone equally; please don’t get mad about it. Honestly though, this has been one of the best batches of reviews, I loved them all and they all made me laugh and gave me inspiration, I’d just like to thank you all for that cause I’ve been majorly stressing lately. Well, let’s see how everyone back at the ranch is doing! Gaara: Dammit, we’re back in fucking dungeon… Kimimaro: but your robe looks sexy. Gaara: Yeah…I know. –strutsLee: -puts on green armor- I am teh awesome!!! Itachi: Suuuure you are. Lee: -does lots of poses…some of them accidentally erotic, giving Gaara a minor hard-onGaara: Eep…lets move on… Kimimaro: -snickerGaara: Fuck you.

Kimimaro: If you tried it would just get worse… Gaara: -glaresKimimaro: -giggling- Well, Zakura said we’re gonna have to find the way home on the last level…should we go looking? Lee: How many levels are there?! Kabuto: I don’t even wanna guess… DM: No you don’t. Kimimaro: Shouldn’t you be GONE?! DM: Nah, I can do two campaigns… Kimimaro:…ok… Well, I felt the need to piss off half of the people in the room.. Soo! -Kisses Hinata all hot and smecksay like.- Anyways~! How'd you like that, Hinata? And I also wanna remind Jiraiya and Orochi-sama.. They said, chapters ago, that when they got out, they'd give me hugs. Don't forget about that or else I'll.. steal all of both of your porn!.. Rant~

Hinata: MPPPFF!! Neji/Kure/Shin/Kiba: O.< Zakura: Too bad fans don’t stick around long enough to be mauled… Neji/Kure/Shin/Kiba: GRRRRRRAAAA!!!!! –tries to kill him…they fail- DAMN!! Hinata: Why is everyone violating meeee? Neji: Oh, Hina-chan, I’ll protect you! –HugsHinata: YOU violated me TOO!! Neji: Oh yeah…whoops… Jiraiya: Ok, ok, I will…damn…I was so distracted by Oro boobs I forgot to hug her… Orochimaru: I’ll hug you!!! Deidara: He’s getting even bouncier now that he’s a woman…yeah…could be a pain…

Shikamaru: All these potions are so troublesome…and so is the snake…he’s taking up room… Manda: -is curled in a corner, purring. He fell asleep not long after they got there. Occasionally they hear strangely Kankuro-esque screams, buuut no one really wants to investigate. Orochimaru is lounging on his coilsNeji: you gonna something about it? Shikamaru: and go to all that trouble? No. That was a beautiful wedding and an awesome reception. I am glad shino and kiba made up. As for questions: kyuubi: Is there anything I can do to make your chibisizeness better? Just to let you know you rock as both chibi and regular. Haku and Zabuza: you guys planning on having any kids and if so how many and what gender would you want? Love almost all of you... A Falling Angel

Kiba: -blush- thanks… Shino: -smiles and snuggles into Kiba’s lapKyuubi: I know I rock…but I wanna be large!! LARGE dammit!! Kiba: I’m sure Neji can relate. Neji: HEY! Haku: As much as I’d love to— Zabuza: -twitchHaku: Probably not. I mean, I’d love to bear Zabuza-san’s children, but they would be so isolated from the world and…well, it would just be difficult. Zabuza: That, and I hate kids. Haku: But…I was a kid the first time you slept with me…and I’m only fourteen or so now… Zabuza: -blushing- that’s different…I’m talking about raising kids… Haku: teehee Naru-chan! You are not a virgin! it it you are in a relationship with Sasugay! Itachi and other Akatsuki: who is the hottest demon vessel? Deidara: Is it true Sasori has a hug deprivation issue? Oh and im pissed off with Shino he so god damn cool and stoic, it's really hard to write about his

character, he's giving me writers block T.T . I send more frapuccinos to Itachi and Gaara (mr sandman) and more kisses to the wonderful Lucifel. June x

Naruto: But I am!! Zakura: I believe it. The day this kid gets laid is the day tonton sprouts wings. Kyuubi: He’s never been laid so long as I’ve been around…that’s be NASTY. Naruto: And Sasuke’s especially gross! Zakura: then what about all the Naru/Sasu nonsense in your apartment? Sakura: I was trying to BLOCK that memory, thank you! Zakura: -ignores- well? Naruto: Gaara brought that over! He’s weird and creepy like that! I was just too lazy to throw it out! Zakura: Suuure… Gaara: So then I brought him this HUGE collection of Naru/Sasu porn I found just to creep him out… Kimimaro: that’s hilarious! You’re so mean! Gaara: It’s how our friendship is…heh…bet he still has the stuff in his closet… Deidara: Very true about Sasori. Even with all the hugging we did…yeah… Orochimaru: You expect me to believe you guys just hugged? Deidara: That was after the kinky sex…yeah… Orochimaru: Ooooh, I get it now, ok that’s cool. Kiba: -snuggles Shino- it’s the way I like him. Shino: I’m not this way for you, dumbass. Kiba: But I still like it. Shino: -smiles, kissesItachi: Yay! Frappuccino!!

Gaara: Why does mine have a label saying ‘Mr. Sandman’ on it? Kimimaro: Well if you’re too offended…-reaches for cupGaara: -pulling away quickly- NO!! No…I’ll drink it. Lee: I’m a little thirsty right now actually… Gaara: -hands him frappuccino while blushing furiouslyLee: Oh, thank you Gaara! I suppose as a ninja of the desert you’re more used to going thirsty, good tactical thinking. Kimimaro: One, he’s the densest kid I’ve ever seen and two that doesn’t even make sense…he’s so dumb… Gaara: -blush- But he’s so cute… Kimimaro –rolls eyesA.H.S: -Groans loudly holding her head- My head is pounding, but that wedding was great. The other Akatsuki, including Sasuke: -nods- Hidan: Umm...Why do you have a shiny new ring on your finger? A.H.S.: -Blinks, checking and screechs!- WTF?!?! Others: -Looks to their own hands, seeing similar golden bands, including Sasuke.- A.H.S: -Twitches- Sasuke...too?...EW! How drunk was I to get hitched to my organization and twin?!?! Sasori: -Cuddles- I'm happy! Ok...My question is this...What the hell happened at the wedding to cause this?!?!?! And Itachi and Dei-kun...Please tell me your not wearing a wedding band either as well as anyone else...Otherwise I think I'll go insane an committ a mass murdering of Carebears...

Zakura: hehehe…I knew giving out fake wedding rings to everyone at the reception was a good idea. Sakura: What? Zakura: Oh nothing… Sakura: -sighs and mutter- I miss Kabuto… Zakura: -perks up- hmn?! What was that? Sakura: None of your damn business!! Zakura: uhuh…suuure Naruto: Why miss Kabuto when I’m here! Sakura: Because he was the only sound-minded man here aside from the loving Orochimaru thing.

Orochimaru: Loving me is not crazy! It’s brilliant! Jiraiya: -nods and keeps staring at Oro’s boobsItachi: No I don’t have a fucking wedding ring…weird girl… Kabuto: -holding back a bugbear- A little HELP Itachi!? Itachi: I have four fucking hit points and have thrown all my daggers!! What do you want form me?! Kabuto: I don’t know! Anything! Kimimaro: -finishes bugbear off with the missiles of the magicKabuto: -phew- Thanks, Kimi. Kimimaro: -blushDM: You all ding again. Lee: YOSH!! LEVEL FOUR!! Gaara: -sweat drop- its level three, Lee. Lee: …Close enough! Itachi: So…is he really that dumb or…? Gaara: I don’t even know… Only FOUR people want to go to Italy with me? THat's really hurtful. Naruto-san doesn't want to partake in Italian noodles (and gelato)? I would've taken that advice, but I live in Florida, possibly one of the most sheep-less states in America. ...When I do pick somebody, does anybody want us to bring back souveniers? Thought it'd be polite to ask. Congratulations Zabuza-san and Haku-san! Give Bunna-chan to your first, okay? Sincerely, Kirchi

Sakura: I wanted to go!! Shikamaru: I want to go, I was buys when you asked and it was too troublesome to answer. Naruto: You didn’t tell me they had NOODLES in Italy!! TAKE ME!! TAKE ME!! I WANT EUROPEAN RAMEN!!

Kyuubi: Shit, I’ll go. I love destroying random historical architecture. I didn’t know the invite was open to anyone. Shino: Of course I wanna go. Kiba: you’d leave me all alone for two weeks?! Shino: -blinks- Yeeees. It’s Italy. Kiba: -whimperZakura: If you bring back souvenirs I’ll let you give to everyone, so go ahead…but mine better be the best. By which I mean bringing me a whole fucking gelato stands with sexy Italian women to serve me and everything. You know something like that. Jiraiya: -drools at the thoughtKurenai: I figured it went without saying that I’d want to go… Orochimaru: Who cares if you have no sheep? IMPORT!! I’ll pay for it! Haku: Aww, now I want a baby just to give Bunna-chan to it. Zabuza: GAH!! –has a brief seizure of horror and they skid off the road and into a treeHaku: Oh no… Zabuza: Fuck. Haku: We’ll never make it in time now…-starts tearing upZabuza: Well if you hadn’t scared me half to death!! Haku: I didn’t mean to! Zabuza: Dammit, Haku, don’t whine at me right now I’m stressed out enough with this damn honeymoon as it is. Haku: I thought you WANTED this?! Zabuza: I thought so too! But this has just turned into a disaster! Haku: …I just wanted a normal wedding and honeymoon…-sobsZabuza: -looks at Haku, makes a frustrated sigh and then gets out of the car, slamming the door behind him-

Haku: -leaning forward to talk out the open window.- Where are you going? Zabuza: For a walk. Haku: Where? Zabuza: I don’t fucking know, I just wanna walk… Haku: Don’t go…don’t leave me alone… Zabuza: …dammit, Haku,,,-gets back in the car, sits glaring out the windshieldHaku: -sniffles and slides over to him and leans against his shoulderZabuza: -sighs and puts his arm around him- Why must you be so damn cute? Haku: So that you will love me. Zabuza: You don’t have to be cute to make me love you. Haku: …I’m sorry I talked you ito all of this… -outside it starts rainingZabuza: -sighs again- It’s ok…I guess we’ll spend the night in this car then…look for help in the morning. Haku: Ok… -they hugCome out of the closet Kakashi... I'm sorry, I can't help myself. (Holds can of Kyuubi chakra) This is enough to upgrade your size to that of the average golden retriever. Accept all hugs this chapter without complaint and it's all yours. Sakura: You thought Kabuto was creepy? But you didn't know he was evil when you first met him! You thought he was just a crappy, six-times-failed ninja... wait, I just answered my own question. THAT ONE DOESN'T COUNT! Naruto: Why did you let Jiraiya be the one to teach you to summon? No offense Jiraiya, but he should've picked Kakashi. Dogs>Snakes>Toads>Slugs. 'Nuff said. Avatarjk137

((Elsewhere)) Kakashi: -bangs on closet doorsAsuma: Wtf? –Opens closet- ARRRRRGGG!!! Kakashi: Dude, I’m fine. It was a joke. The kids and Gai just fell for it a little too much…

Asuma: Are you shitting me? Kakashi: Well…I was a little pissed… Asuma: What about the weakness to polka music? Kakashi: -shudders- I hate polka music… Asuma: I can understand that… Kakashi: So, do you wanna get it on? Asuma: G-get what on? Kakashi: I think you know… -pouncesAsuma: MPF!! ((Sooo…)) Kyuubi: DONE!! –absorbs Chakra- HELLZ YE—wait, why am I only the size of an average fox? Zakura: You used up chakra absorbing chakra…it all works out in the end. Kyuubi: I hate you… Zakura: Brace yourself for hugging impact. Sakura: And yeah, I thought it was creepy how much he failed…and he was like, that icky kind of fake charming, you know? It was gross… Zakura: Oh like you really noticed how fake he was. That’s bullshit. Sakura: You shut up! Zakura: Right, cuz I’m totally gonna listen to you… Naruto: Jiraiya may be a stupid pervert but he is really good at what he does… Jiraiya: And toads rock!! Naruto: Plus Kakashi was too busy training Sasuke…grr… I got snuggled by Lucifiel-chan! Yay! ^_^ *Kisses her, and gives her a hug* Haku-chan/Zabuza-san: Once again, congrats on your wedding! May you both find eternal happiness, and glory, and enjoy heaven…

Lucifel-chan: You don't get that much dares, do you? I'll do it! I dare you..to kiss me, and allow me to hug you, again! *Grins* Hehe...I get another kiss and hug. Everyone: Listen up, I'm Lucifiel-chans pet/friend, boyfriend?, and I won't allow you to hurt her, if she wants to snuggle me, you leave her alone, or I'll complete Itachi on you. P.S.: All of you have fun!...Which I know you all are, even if you don't want to it it!...Oh, and congrats Shino/Kiba.

Sakura: Oh, nu-uh, bitch did NOT get a boyfriend before me!! Lucifel: Damn straight I did. And I get to have a collar on him and pet him and everything. –Lots of hugging and kissing and cuddling- Yay! Now I have an FF best friend, and an FF boyfriend!! WOOTSKI! Zakura: Damn…well that ain’t fair. Neji: Don’t you and Arashi have a thing? Zakura: Naw, she’s got Temari. Muffled Kankuro-like voice from Manda’s stomach: Hey! Get away from my sister! Manda: -hisses- He’s not digesting well… Orochimaru: I’m sorry dear… Kurenai: Did he just call the snake ‘dear?’ Deidara: …yeah…he did…yeah… Neji: I don’t even want to know… Naruto: I don’t care!! I will find and destroy her!! Lee: YOSH!! Itachi: And what the fuck was that for? Kimimaro: Does he need a reason anymore? Gaara: He better have a reason for being so damn cute. Kabuto: Well that’s cute. Gaara: GAH!! Where the fuck did Kimi go!? Kabuto: -points a few feet in front of them- Don’t worry, the only person it’s not totally obvious to is Lee. Gaara: -glares-

HT: ok. i hope you had a happy wedding! and *sniff* i have no more coco mix... amber: MAKE MORE ANYWAY! HT: YES MA'AM! *scurries off* amber: sup everyone? i know that this isnt much of a suprise, but haku, your really cute. and zabuza, i cant believe you could kill me, and kyuubi, can i have one of your tails? please? i know, it must be odd to imagine some gangster huggling a fuzzy tail, but hey, thats how i am. HT: THEY HAVE NO MORE COCO MIX AT THE STORE! amber: GODDAMMIT WOMAN! I DONT CARE WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO! JUST MAKE ME SOME DAMN COCO! HT: WAH! *runs to petco* amber: *shakes head* you just cant find good slaves nowadays. HT: OMG! GUESS WHO I FOUND!! *drags in sasuke* amber: you captured him AGAIN?? and wheres my goddamn coco bish!? sasuke: i want coco too! HT: I FORGOT!! dont kill me amber-san! amber: just get the frickin coco. sasuke: i think ill stay till i get my coco. amber: you missed haku's wedding. sasuke: what? damn... wait, what the hell? orochimaru is a girl? HT: HERES YOUR COCO! *gives everyone coco* amber: DAMMIT!! YOU BOUGHT THIS READY MADE DIDNT YOU!! WELL MAKE IT FROM SCRATCH LAZY BISH! HT: WAH! T_T oh, im sorry that this is so long...

Sakura: That really was long…even for HT…I mean, there’s like no questions in there… Zakura: AND it’s edited. Lucifel: I LOVE YOU HT!!! Kiba: Hot damn…girl can talk… Zakura: So? I’ve got coco now, I’m happy. Kiba: you have the ability to be happy? Zakura: -flips the fingerNeji: How many places is Sasuke at?! Naruto: And why doesn’t he have to be trapped in here with us?! Zakura: To hold out the suspense as long as possible. Now Kyuubi, give the girl one of your tails. Kyuubi: Wtf?! NO! Zakura: Come on, Kyuubi. Kyuubi: Isn’t there a rule about removing things from the room somewhere?! Zakura: I can break the rules!!

Kyuubi: No you can’t! Get away from me!! -chaseYea c'est moi(random french dude dies)aw!!Kyuubi is uber cute!^-^But anyways(makes Kyuubi drink potion)it'll make you about 5 foot from paw to shoulder and you can still be CUTE!anyway Gaara, could you help me? I have this god damned 3 headed dragon inside me and well...it has a rather...dirty mind.any tips? anyone?

Kyuubi: YES!! Zakura: -pulling potion away- Nu-uh! Not until you give HT one of your tails! Kyuubi: but…but… Zakura: Them’s the rules. Kyuubi: I hate you. Zakura: Give me your tail. Kyuubi: No. Zakura: -throws away potion- Ok then. Kyuubi: -whimperGaara: huh? Oh…-reads- dude, I dunno. Just don’t deal with it like I did. Kimimaro: Get group therapy or something. Gaara: you’re such an idiot. Kimimaro: Teehee. Kabuto: -stopping at a door to the side of them- Hold on guys…I think there’s something behind this door… Itachi: Clerics have a ‘spidey sense’ now? Kabuto: No but...this door is kind conspicuous don’t you think? Itachi: You’re the nerd, you would know. Kabuto: Fuck you. Kimimaro: We may as well go in.

Kabuto: Well it might be booby trapped…and Itachi’s being difficult…we need someone to kick the door in who wont get too badly damage by a booby trap… Kimimaro: Hey Lee! Kick this door down! Gaara: Gah! No! Lee: YOSH!! –kicks door down-bucket of water tips over and pours on him.Kimimaro: …is that it? Kabuto: that’s really sad… DM: GOD! I thought it was funny! You all suck! Kabuto: Whatever… To team Lee: who has actually played D&D before? To Shikamaru: You are so cool! Paper Draginfly and I were commenting that Kakashi and Genma and all of the really powerful jounins are lazy like you. Did you notice? So are you copying them to try and be more successful, or are they copying you? Zakura: If Sakura is a virgin how can you not be!? you haven't been out of her that long. Shikamaru... again. sorry but I have to know. I notice you didn't raise your hand as a virgin, so answer either who you lost it to or who was the last person you had sex with? I'm Sorry!! ~KohakuKawa

Lee: Ah! That water was very cold but refreshing! It must have been made to refresh weary warriors! Ita/Kabu/Kimi/Gaa: …sure Lee. Kabuto: I didn’t just fucking play, I DMed the damn thing! Itachi: You nerd. Kimimaro: I played…-blushesGaara: Dork. Lee: technically we’re all playing right now, aren’t we? Itachi: I refuse to be a nerd!! Lee: YAY! I just realized she addressed it to team Lee!! YAY!! Kimimaro: Shouldn’t Kabuto and I be the leaders? I mean…we actually partially know what’s going on here.

DM: Well, if you’re so experienced are you ever gonna look around the damn ROOM?! Kabuto: Oh yeah…heh… DM: The room is small and square, the door closes behind you and seals into the wall. There is writing covering the walls in common and elfish. Kimimaro: Elfish looks suspiciously like Japanese. DM: Shut up! What are you gonna do? Kabuto: Let’s get reading… Gaara: Aren’t you at all worried that we’re trapped in here? Kimimaro: Calm down, we’re stuck in a room with writing on the walls, it’s a riddle and when we solve it, we’ll get out. Lee: -gasps- but…I’m no good at riddles. Kabuto: that’s why people with intelligence exist…to cover the fighter’s ass. Shikamaru: Umm…I don’t know. I never made a conscious decision to be lazy. Naruto: He was too lazy to. Shikamaru: Pretty much. Zakura: Now just cuz Arashi wants Temari doesn’t mean— Sakura: I DON’T WANNA KNOW!! Zakura: Sure you do…the three of usSakura: NONONOONNONO!! Kankuro; NOONONONONONONO!!! Manda: Grrr… Zakura: So anyway…Shikamaru? Shikamaru: Yes?

Zakura: The question? Shikamaru: -blush- I already answered a question from her. Zakura: too bad. Let’s go. Shikamaru: I…well…I… Zakura: come ON! Shikamaru: I… Itachi: Why are my incest senses tickling? Shikamaru: Asuma-sensei… Everyone besides Oro, Dei and the beasts: -shockItachi: I guess it was a false alarm… Zakura: I KNEW it…wait…in answer to which question? Shikamaru: The first… Zakura: wow…so…wait…at the wedding…? Shikamaru: We were just talking and playing shogi. Zakura: You…are really fucking boring. Shikamaru: Naw, just lazy…-smirkAnjiru: Itachi-sama, those lines under your eyes, is that because of drinking too much frap or just lack of sleep or another reason that you're hiding from all of your fangirls?!?! Danie: Oh!! I get to give them the gifts! ^^ Anjiru: No!! Let's do it alternately... Danie: *frowns* Okay... Danie: To Kurenai-sama; A new 24 karat gold set of skillets(complete with diamonds) so that it doesn't break easily.. And a life time supply of Cadbury CHOCOLATE! (Don't worry they aren't poisonous or anything) Anjiru: To Zakura-sama; A Hinata plushie!! Handmade by me!! Eveything I make is so cute that people pay me millions just to get one! But for you, IT IS TOTALLY FREE! Danie: To Oreo-sama; A photo album... ^^ Look at it to find out!! *cough*nakedpicturesofanyoneyouwantandimeananyone*cough* I attached a note that has instructions on how to us this! INSTRUCTIONS: 1. Just think of anyone at all and *poof* a picture of them will appear in the album!! It's up to you if they are still wearing there clothes or not... *evil grin* Anjiru: To EVERYONE ELSE; COOKIES! That will only last for a week or so... Danie: Note that Sakura cannot touch the any of the cookies or else they will rot! Anjiru & Danie: *evil laugh* Anjiru: Uhm... Zakura and Lucifel, we have a favor to ask... Danie: Yeah...

Anjiru & Danie: CAN WE PLEASE GO TO THE FRAP POOL IF IT'S STILL THERE?!?! PLEASE! WE PROMISE NOT TO FREE THE PRISO- WE MEAN THEM! PLEASE!?!?!?! ~Anjiru-chan & Danie-chan~

Lucifel: I love these girls…Sorry I had to edit this one, it was great…and yes, this longass review IS editied… Itachi: it’s none of your business. DM: Um, you know Lucy and I are good friends right? I can do anything to this world I want… Itachi: Oh please…like what? DM: Suddenly liquid acid starts dripping from the ceiling and— Itachi: OK! OK!! It’s stress lines from trying to hide my sexuality and then my lust towards my brother! Kimimaro: Gross. Itachi: -with Kabuto mouthing along with him- It’s JUST incest!! Kimimaro: I found out how it works! There’s a riddle in common and then the answer in ‘elfish’ and we have to match them! Kabuto: Umm, how? Kimimaro: …I don’t know… Lee: -leans against the wall and one of the stones slides sideways.- ? Kimimaro: Oh!! It’s like a puzzle game! We have to rearrange them like a rubix cube!! Kabuto: …oh that won’t take forever… Kimimaro: Let’s get working! Kurenai: Oooh!! Fun!! I can start a collection!! Jiraiya: Eep… Kurenai: YAY!! CHOCOLATE!! Zakura: -hides hinata plushie- thank you girls, the frap pool is open for use so long as we’re in here.

Orochimaru: YAY!!!! Oh no…I can’t decide who to think of first…hmm… Jiraiya: You work on that while I eat cookies… Orochimaru: Wanna eat MY cookies? Jiraiya: yeah…I mean…no…maybe… Orochimaru: Teehee…I know who to think of…ooh…you haven’t lost much in your age have you? Jiraiya: -furious blushingSakura: …these girls are mean. Zakura: Live with it. YAY! My letter got answered! That REALLY made my mood go UP 100%!! to deidara: i agree. teachers SUCK! *pokes a voodoo doll with pins* DIE! not you, the teacher. Krisse

Sakura: Glad to help you mood! Zakura: Yeah, whatever… Deidara: -nods- they’re only good for so much and then yu have to kill them to prove you’re better. Jiraiya: that’s not true Naruto! Naruto: I know that ero-sennin… Damn i cant believe DM beat me at poker... anyways questions: Is Manda still there? If he is...MANDA I TOLD YOU TO EAT KIBA!! HE'S ANNOYING AND HE SMELLS LIKE DOGS!! Also Naruto I dare you too spend an entire night locked up in a small room with Hinata. Lucifel can you allow that? If yes...you'll be rewarded!-blushes- See you all later!

DM: What’s not to believe? I own the whole world. XD Gaara: He’s really starting to freak me out. Kimimaro: Why don’t you just stand in the middle of the room pondering that instead of helping me out here?! Gaara: thank you, I will. Kimimaro: grr… Manda: I don’t take orders from little children. –Thrashes tail- And I’m leaving as soon as this kid is digested thoroughly.

Kiba: Gaara’s not gonna be happy about this… Naruto: I just plan to be far away when he comes back… Zakura: Well, good luck with that. Naruto: -scowlZakura: We should drink more potions… Neji: Oh, I already did. Zakura: hwa? Neji: I drank my orange potion. Zakura: …why? Neji: It’s anti-curse. My seal’s gone now –removes headband- see? Zaku/Lucy: When…how… Lucifel: Kishimoto-sama isn’t gonna be happy about this…I promised I wouldn’t make any major changes!! Waaa!! Zakura: Way to go Lucifel… Lucifel: -runs crying to Jaden and KryahNaru/Saku: …umm… Neji: huh? Sakura: Never mind… Lucifel: -pokes back in- rewarded? Yeah…I can do that… -snaps fingers and suddenly Naruto and Hinata are locked in a random broom closetheyheyhey! its the crazykid i'm back! neways, congrats on haku and zabu for gettin married! neways hinata wot the hell is ur sister like, cos she's in my house? ye and hinata, hanabi says she'll kill u nd becum the heiress nd hiashi is having an affair wif the ghost of mikoto, sasuke's mom!

Haku: -blinks awake in the backseat and, blushing, pulls his/her kimono back on as Zabuza continues snoring away…- Ah, well, um thank you… -lays Zabuza’s shirt over his waist- You could’ve picked a better time though… Zabuza: Come back to sleep Haku…

Haku: After our first fight of course we had to…you know…just be careful next time, k? Zabuza: hwa? –Wakes up- …Haku…are you talking to the fans right now? Haku: Yup. –smileZabuza: …….am I still naked? Haku: I covered you up…sort of… Zabuza: Fucking fans… Hinata: Ano…my sister is just… well, she’s a lot more strong-willed than me, and she’s kind of selfish…I’m sorry she broke into your house, she does that sometimes. Just call my father and he’ll come pick her up –gives numberNaruto: You know she’s gonna let all the fangirls/boys call your house now? Hinata: …oh no… NARUTO: since u couldn't come to the real world. If u kill Itachi I'll let u have a world full of Ramen OK? ZAKURA: Please kill SakurA! Sasuke let NARUTO RAOPE YYOU

Naruto: …world of…ramen? YEAH!! I’LL DO IT!! Hinata: Umm…ano…how? Naruto: By the time he comes back I’ll have the perfect plan! And being trapped in here gives me lots of thinking time! Hinata: Oh… Zakura: -through the door- You can’t think Naruto! Naruto: Hey! I resemble that! Hinata: I…um…I think you mean resent. Naruto: …that too!! ((This joke comes straight to you from the mouth of Kohaku’s good friend Tim from college)) Zakura: Anyway, while Naruto figures out the meaning of words, I have to apologize and remind people that if Sakura dies, I die. So sadly, no can do. Although I wish I could…

Sakura: Hey! Zakura: What?! You know I hate you! Sakura: …whatever… Deidara: Why do these people keep talking to Sasuke? He’s at HT’s place isn’t he? Zakura: For real, Sasuke’s not gonna just burst in here and randomly answer a question! Sasuke: -sticks head in- Um, no…Naruto’s gross…oh, and my mom never had an affair with any nasty Hyuuga and the next person who suggests it will feel my vengeful— Orochimaru: EMO!! Sasuke: --wrath. Anyway, I’m on my way to A.H.S.’s, I’ve got some akatsuki there that need sexin’ up. ...See you guys later. –Goes away againEveryone: hwa? Itachi: Why do I have the horrible feeling I just missed an opportunity for brotherloving?! Kabuto: I don’t know, I don’t care! Shut up and let the only people doing any work think!! -And everyone in the room is still totally confused-

Ask Sakura 23 Sakura:…what the hell?! Orochimaru: Aww…he left… Shikamaru: -twitch…twitchNaruto: Was that Sasuke out there?! Hey!! Why am I still in here?! Zakura: Last time didn’t count, it was only for a little bit. Naruto: Awww man…. Hinata: …-blushSakura: but….but…Sasuke… Zakura: Oh, fuck Sasuke. Let’s get to some questions. Sakura: But SASUKE… Kakashi is a zombie...cool! Haku: So you're in your honeymoon with multiple destinations while everyone is stuck in the friken hellhole of a room…lucky Zakura: I ed all the lesbian porn the internet has to offer. 14 terrabytes of porn enjoy -hands 700 disks to ZakuraNeji: Now I want you to...lock yourself in a closet with Kakashi without plka music so he can eat your brain and yo'll become his first brainless solider in his brainless army Hurray for world domination I have a completely randon thing to do -throws Jaba the Hut into the room-

((At Asuma’s apartment)) Kakashi: A SEX zombie!! Asuma: Mfff…guwah… Kakashi: Mmmm… ((back in the room)) Haku: yup, I most certainly am. –reclines on beach chair, wearing bikini…Haku’s a sexy girlZabuza: -slight nosebleed-

Zakura: Ooooh!!! YAY!!! –runs to closet- oh damn…Hina and Naruto I forgot…-closes door againNaruto: Wait!! Let me out! –lunges at doorHinata: -sneakily tripsNaruto: -falls on faceHinata: -silent yayNeji: Lock my self…with Kakashi? …eh, been there done that. Kiba: O.o seriously? Neji: -smirk- Oooh yeah… Kiba: ewww… Jaba the Hut: Guwaaaah…-lots of alien jabber and he slides over to MandaOrochimaru: What’d he say? Zakura: He…ah…just proposed to Manda… Manda: O.< Jaba: :3 Manda:… Jaba: -attempts to hug MandaManda: GET AWAY!!!!! –slithers away as fast as he can…but since he fills up half the room as it is, it’s very hard to get anywhere…Jaba: -chases with hearts in eyesOrochimaru: …poor baby… Kiba: I am…so disturbed… Naruto: What’s going on out there?! Neji: You don’t want to know!!

A.H.S: -Yawns lightly, stretching out on her couch, her beloved Anaconda curled tightly around his waist- Wait...What?! -Screams- KISAME! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! -Hers a loud groan and twitches- Zetsu: -Walks in and blinks- What are you doing back Sasuke? A.H.S: -Twitches even more, taking out a random sledgehammer.- I'm not Sasuke! Kisame turned me into a man! -Sighes as said twin pops in from Zetsu's room- Sasuke: OMG! ANOTHER ME! -Squees all girly like, pouncing onto her/him- A.H.S: -Runs away- No! Anyhow...Happy Birthday Zaku-Sama and Saku-chan! -Tosses a scroll to Sakura- There's your gift! The jutsu I promised!! But beware! Lose control and it turns back on you!! Zakura! -Tosses a keg of the finest sake around- There!! Anyway,...-Cuts into a closet and hides- Manda-kun,...When's the last time Oro-chan gave you your required sacrifice? -Screams as the door opens and Sasuke gets pushed in- Kisame: -Cackles locking the door- Till next time folks!

Zabuza: Way to go Kisame. –high fives Kisame- Wait…Where the fuck did you come from?! Kisame: Well, for one I was running away from A.H.S., and I mean…you’re by the ocean and I was communing with some sharks so… Zabuza: Wait, wait, wait…define “communing”. Kisame: Oh you know talking…hanging out… Haku: Fornicating? Kisame: Sure. Zabuza: -snerkKisame: ? And hey…weren’t you with a boy? Zabuza: I was… Kisame: He got turned into a girl? Zabuza: No he got—how did you guess?! Kisame: -shrugs- I’ve learned to expect the strangest possibility. Saku/Zaku: -hide giftsManda: -screechs to a halt and turns sharply to Orochimaru- Yeah…when was the last time, Oro-chan? Orochimaru: Eep!! –quickly kills Jaba ands shoves him at Manda- HERE!! HERE!! I GIVE IT TO YOU!! Manda: I can’t EAT that!! Orochimaru: hm…oh! –lightbulb- I left Kankuro in here for you! That was my sacrifice!

Manda: that’s bull. Orochimaru: No, it was human. Manda: …being a woman makes you dumber I guess… Kurenai: I resent that! Manda: You also look pretty tasty. Kurenai: Eep. Zakura: Eewww…Jaba’s starting to smell –throws him out a window((Jaba falls for several stories and then lands on top of Tenten, crushing her)) Hey guys me again! for bad ass fox Kyu, I can give you a collar that will make you your original size again, but you have to screw Naru-Chan, no strings attached. Naru-Chan: are you sure your not a girl? because your really effeminate like one but not Haku style. I'm sending in Fraps, cookies and the CD 'mr sandman' for Gaara. Oh and (blows Lucifel a kiss) thanks for the FF your the best! June x

Kyuubi: …um…no… Naruto: EWW!! EWW!! EWW!! Kyuubi: If someone wants me to EAT him though… Zakura: No one is allowed to die, Kishimoto will kill me and Lucifel then… Shikamaru: So…what about Kankuro. Zaku/Lucy: …GAAHHH!!!!! Zakura: -starts trying to use Heimlich maneuver on Manda to make him throw Kankuro upManda: Um…wtf? Orochimaru: Leave Manda-chan alone!! Zakura: We’ll get in trouble! Why are you all getting us in trouble lately? God…. Naruto: I’m a guy!! I can prove it!!

Jiraiya: Yeah, why don’t prove it on Hinata?! Naru/Hina: -blushJiraiya: …they went silent…are they really trying it out?! Orochimaru: Ewww, I hope not. Zakura: …he better fucking not... Gaara: Holy shit, this is a whole fucking gift basket!! Kimimaro: I’m glad you’re being rewarded for our work… Kabuto: I got it!! Itachi: So we can move out?! Kabuto: What…no…I just figured out this one riddle… Itachi: …-_-‘ I’m going to sleep… Lucifel: YAY!! KISSES!! Oh yes. Here's a present for Zakura, it's a dildo. My (late)present for Haku is a box of tampons. May I please have a hug? And for Itachi, it's the deed to the local Starbucks. Oh and Shikamaru I dare you to smile! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Zakura: Ok, why would I want a dildo? I’m a lesbian to get AWAY from male parts!! Sakura: Eww…. Haku: Tampons? …what are those for? Zabuza: O.= so…you don’t know about female…problems? Haku: Huh? You mean buying bras and whatnot? Kisame: Oooh…have fun Zabuza. Zabuza: Umm… Haku: Hold, lemme give a hug first… Itachi: -gasp- HOLY JESUS RAINING CATS!! Gaara: …what?

Itachi: I’m so…happy…I haven’t been this happy since I went on my last massmurder spree!! Gaara: -GASP- ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! Itachi: TOTALLY!! Gaara: OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! Itachi: YAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Shikamaru: -smirkZakura: doesn’t count, you need to actually make a happy smile. Shikamaru: -hrk- … -twitchZakura: Come on. Neji: -ahem- Choji!! Shikamaru: -smile- … -blushZakura: Oh yeah, you’ve got something for the cubby kid. Shikamaru: …not quite… (Drinking a can of Kyuubi chakra) sorry I didn't calculate the whole chakra-expenditure thingy, Kyuubi. If it's that inefficient, there's no point in me giving you the rest of the sixpack, is there? That reminds me, I have a question for everybody today, but only one. What's your favorite beverage, non-alcoholic or otherwise? (Burps, and a cloud of red vapor comes from his mouth) I think this may be a hallucinogen...

Kyuubi: There’s a point!! THERE’S A POINT!!! Zakura: Um, nawwww. Kyuubi: I HATE YOU!! Zakura: Anyway, my favorite drink is vodka…straight. Sakura: I’ve only had a sip of that!! Zakura: And I LOVED it. Sakura: Well, I like Fresca.

Zakura: Pussy. Neji: I like Smirnoff. Zakura: Also pussy. Neji: grr… Jiraiya: SAKE!! Kurenai: Why aren’t I surprised? Anyway, My favorite is apple martinis. Orochimaru: Cranberry Juice!! Everyone: … -crickets chirpOrochimaru: Cranberry juice is yummy…-blushManda: …why do I let you summon me? Naruto: RAMEN LIQUID!! Sakura: Ewww… Hinata: I like…umm…I really like strawberry smoothies Zakura: SO CUUUUTE!!! Kyuubi: Whiskey. Zakura: I should drink with you sometime. Kyuubi: Sure. Zakura: SAWEET! Shikamaru: I enjoy sake… Neji: Aren’t you dignified. Shikamaru: Aren’t you troublesome… Kiba: I like energy drinks!!

Shino: And I like Kiba on energy drinks… Kiba: -smileShino: I’m a fan of good old-fashioned water. Zakura: Pussy. Shikamaru: No, just utilitarian. Zakura: A utilitarian pussy. HT: i wanna say something to A.H.S kay! can we just trade him back and forth? amber: I WANT THE FREAKIN TAIL LIL FOX BASTARD! HT: hey kyuubi!! you owe me a hug! ? avatarjk137 said you had to hug everyone who wants to hug you for that chakra!! HUG ME!! amber: AND THEN GIMME A TAIL!! OR NO COCO FOR ANYONE ELSE!! HT: yay! less work! sasuke: i will ask again. WHEN DID OROCHIMARU BECOME A FEMALE!? HT: i luvs you sasuke!! amber: shes slowly getting bored of you though HT: dont feel left out! ill get you coco! amber: zakura, how is it being part of an ugly whiney bubblegum bitch? sasuke: what does HT look up about me? amber: stuff. sasuke: real specific. amber: i know ^^ HT: coco for cockatoo-chan and amber-san!! oh! lucifel too! to pay you back for the long paragraph ^^ damn. i do talk a lot! i hope this doesnt cause problems. amber: kyuubi, let her hug you. or else shell have another of those "looking up chibi kyuubi pics and then putting them everywhere" day. its annoying. sasuke: this coco doesnt suck that bad really. amber: quite true. HT: indeed. amber: NO ONE SAID YOU COULD HAVE COCO! HT: WAAH! IM SORRY! amber: oh, zabuza, why do you like that sword? whats so great about it? im goin sword shoppin later today and need advice on finding the best sword. HT: ohno. no more swords please... amber: *evil laugh*

Zakura: You do owe the girls quite a bit… Kyuubi: Nooo… Zakura: Kyuubi-chaaaan… Kyuubi: FINE!! Ugh…-lets them hug- BUT NO TAIL!! Zakura: Fair enough. Kyuubi: -phew-

Lucifel: YAY! COCO!! Zakura: To Sasuke: We don’t answer questions from other characters dumbass!! Orochimaru: A while ago…it’s fun. –smileZabuza: And that’s the reproductive process… Haku: …oooh…dang… Zabuza: So…yeah… Kisame: -snickerZabuza: Oh, anyway…it’s awesome because it’s big and heavy and makes lots of hurt on the bastards!! Kisame: Same for mine. XD Haku: I don’t wanna have a period… YOSH! Lucifiel-chan is my FF girlfriend...I like life even more now. *Snuggles up to Lucifielchan* Shame the characters would hear us if we did anything...Or would they? *Sits, looking thoughtful, shurgs, and continues his snuggleing* Anthow, questions and gifts... Zakura: *Becomes a figure more terrifying then she and Kyuubi can a imagine* You made Lucifiel-chan cry...sure she messed up a little bit, but Kishimoto-sama will fix it, and you -didn't- have to rub it in...I was -going- to give you Hinata pictures where she's at the beach in a bikini...-But- you made Lucifiel-chan cry, so instead...I'm taking back my Albums until you learn to respect people's...Or just Lucifiel-chan's... feelings. *Takes away all the sexy albums of Kurenai he gave her, then turns back to normal and comforts a crying Lucifiel* Kyuubi: Well, I feel -kinda- bad for you...so...I made -this-! *Takes out a potion* This will make you as big as a small-ish horse, which is still big! But...in return you have to do SexyJutsu on Zakura and Jiraiya, deal? Naruto: Your curse-seal is gone...so does that mean Kyuubi is kinda..you know...free as long as you're in there and until Kishimoto-sama regains control over you?

Zakura: Wha…no…my albums… Lucifel: Aww, Jaden, s’ok. Let her have them. We’re cool. Zakura: See?! Kurenai: See what? Sakura: She’s talking to the voice again. Kurenai: Fuckin weirdo….

Kyuubi: Sawee—no!! NO! I’m not doing that! DAMMIT! Why do people keep trying to make all these stupid deals?! Zakura: They just wanna see you all big and scary again, s’all. Kyuubi: -grrrrNaruto: guh… -checks stomach- huh, nope, still there. Sakura: But you drank the anti-curse potion!! Naruto: But that fixed the not-talking curse. Sakura: Which was already over! Naruto: …don’t question me. Gaara:OMG (glomps) i love you! But there is one thing i love more than you and that is GaaLee! (Holds up sign that says "GaaLee 4 ever!") keep holding on Gaara you'll get him sooner or later!...I hope sooner Orochimaru:Now that your a woman will you stay one are will you go back to being a man? Hinata: i dare you to belly dance for Zakura 'cause id so awsome! XD Everybody else:Your all boring! Have a sexy party!8D...Please? (puppy-dog eyes) Mini Death

Gaara: Ehehe, -blushLee: -is snoozing in a cornerKimimaro: Aww, that’s cute. A fan of your pointless endeavors. Gaara: I thought you were ive!! Kimimaro: Well, right now this fucking wall is stressing me OUT!! –Slams hand against the wallDM: And when you slam your hand into the wall you inadvertently push the last stone into place and the wall opposite the one you came in through slide open revealing a long, well-lit corridor. Kimimaro: Sweet-ass… Kabuto: Nicely done, Kimi. –Puts arm around shoulderKimimaro: -swoonOrochimaru: Oh…I dunno…maybe. I’m having pretty much fun with my boobies…

Jiraiya: I have fun with your boobies… Hinata: Wha? But…I… Zakura: -jerks closet door open- you heard him/her! Do as the fans say! Hinata: But— Zakura: -changes Hinata into a belly dancing costume- Let’s go girl! Hinata: -blush- … -belly dancesEveryone: -droolsHinata: -blushblushblushNeji: Oh damn… Kiba: -droolNaruto: -gawkJiraiya: -nosebleedShino: … -raises eyebrow- Where’d you learn this Hinata? Hinata: M-my sister and I took a few classes just for fun… Kiba: Wow… Shino: -smackOrochimaru: OOH!! SEXY PARTY!! Zaku/Jira/Neji/Kiba/Dei: WHOOOO!!!! -those guys throw their own little sexy party while Saku/Naru/Hina/Shin/Kure/Shika sit feeling kind of freaked outItachi: -cries a littleKabuto: What’s wrong with you? Itachi: I just know that somewhere…I’m missing a sexy party… Lee: It’s probably wherever Gai-sensei is.

Everyone: eww. ((But actually, Gai was having a sexy party, with all the Jonin in twon involve, ya-yeah.)) Danie: Now for a question... or questions... XD Anjiru: Hey Lee, ever heard of Elmo?? He looks just like you!! Why does he look just like you anyway?? Danie: Elmo is cute but creepy!! Anjiru: I wanna give all of you an Elmo doll! -gives everyone an Elmo dollDanie: -thinkingElmo doll: I eat babies and molest people when they are asleep! Anjiru: ^^ Oh... I didn't give Zakura the Elmo doll... I don't want you to die... You're the coolest character ever! XD Instead, I'll give you what we gave Oreo-sama before, a photo album!! Danie: I know!! XD Anjiru: Same as before but the difference is that only lesbians like you can see what's inside. Meaning that girls and men can't see what you see! XD Danie: Anyway, I wanna ask my question!! Anjiru: Okay... okay... XD Danie: I just ed that some of you guys still have those potions from a couple of chapters back. Why don't you drink them? I know I wasn't the one who gave them to you but I just wanna find out what they do!! XD Anjiru: Oh yeah!! XD Please?? Danie & Anjiru: Now if you'll excuse us, we will go to the frap pool!! XD -poofs into roomDanie & Anjiru: HELLO GUYS! XD BYE!! -runs into frap pool-

Lee: I’ve never heard of Elmo…but he must be a very handsome fellow if he looks like me! Gaara: …no Lee, he’s not. Lee: Then he must not look anything like me! Gaara: He definitely doesn’t. DM: From down the hall you hear an eerie yet somehow child-friendly voice: Creepy Voice: I’m gonna find youuu…We’ll have FUN…. Kabuto: Shitshitshit, let’s get going guys! Zakura: It was a good idea to put Elmo in there instead of here. –Smile- OOOH!! PHOTO ALBUM!! Hinata: Can I stop dancing now? -_-, Zakura: Oh…I guess…Hey, yeah, let’s get another potion…well, let’s see… -sips yellow potion-After a few second her hair grows slightly shorter and the scrapes and bruises she got over the last couple days go awayZakura: Cool, my guess is this turns your body back to it’s original appearance for…well, a whole bottle would probably be a year—

Shikamaru: -grabs his bottle and gulps it downZakura: Umm…ok…why? Shikamaru: oh…no reason… Shino: He had a tattoo. I saw it for a second when I went to the bathroom. Shikamaru: -blushKiba: Oh? What of? Shino: Some weird symbol…kind of familiar… Shikamaru: -putting duct tape over his mouth- That’s quite enough out of you. Orochimaru: Hey! I can get my hair back with that! Bug-kid, can I have your yellow potion?! Shino: Sure, I won’t be using it… Orochimaru: Yay!! Jiraiya: WAIT!! NO!!! Orochimaru: -drinks and gets turned back into a male with long hair- -GASP- Oh noes!! My boobs are gone!! Jiraiya: Noo… Orochimaru: Oh well, I was planning on going back eventually I suppose… Kurenai: I’m certainly glad you did… Jiraiya: But…but…-criesKyuubi you are so cute! How come there are different forms of kyuubi like you, yoko, ninetails, and eightand-a-half tails? The people in the dungeon: So... who's the leader here? Orochimaru-sam and Jiraiya: Are you two in love now!?!

Kyuubi: Psh, they’re all posers. I’m the one and only. Zakura: Bullshit!! Yoko’s not a poser! Kyuubi: He’s only got ONE tail, he’s no where near as hard-core as me!!

Zakura: Whatever. When you get up with death seeds pwning your ass we’ll see about that. Sakura: What’re you defending him for? Zakura: Dunno, I like arguing with Kyu. Lee: OOOH!! OOH!! MEMEMEMEMME!!! Kabuto: Hey! I’m the one who used to be a DM and is the smartest here! DM: It’s true. He’s got an 18 intel. Kimi’s close though… Lee: But I am the bulk and strength! I am the courage and charisma! I am the glue that binds us together as a team! Kabuto: Fuck that shit. Kimimaro: Just let his have his way. Gaara: -under his breath- he can have his way with me… Orochimaru: I always was… Jiraiya: I’m no—wait, what? Orochimaru: -blushes and looks away1. Neji- Since when are you gay? 2. Sakura- I dare you to kiss the person in the room you hate the most. On the lips! Mwahahahahahahaha! -Cough3.Lee- Why won't you go out with me? -cries-LeesLover7

Neji: I’m NOT gay. I am technically bi. I’m sure I’ll marry a woman and have a wonderful wife and family someday…as it is I enjoy being screwed multiple time s a week by different men so I can be on the bottom. K? Kiba: We’re fine with it Neji. We accept you as the slut you are…almost as willing as you accept the hundreds of male parts you get thrust at you every night. Neji: -flips the fingerSakura: But that would be…Zaku…ra… Zakura: O.o I’m SO not ok with this… Lucifel: -from Jaden’s lap- Too bad-

Zakura/Sakura Kiss!! Ye-yeah!! Sakura: -gagsZakura: -retchesSakura: -heavesZakura: -throws up a littleJiraiya: You guys are ruining the affect of sexy young lesbian love!! Saku/Zaku: SHUT UP PERVERT!! Lee: Oh…I’m very sorry…it’s just that I have my heart set on Sakura. I’m sorry. Gaara: -whimperlol, congrats Haku-san & Zabuza-san ^^ ok, erm...Sakura-san...u do know Kabuto's like 5 yrs older right? cuz if u still want to *coughfuck/marrycough* him...^^ Zakura-sama: dare u to kiss (w/tongue) Naruto-kun ( sry man ^^;)

Haku: Thanks very much! …Oh no! Was that a cramp?! Zabuza: Trust me…you’ll know when you get one. Kisame: -snickerZabuza: And why aren’t you gone yet?! Kisame: Because this is hilarious. Zabuza: -glaresSakura: One, Kabuto’s gross, I don’t want him in any way shape or form. Two, if I did I wouldn’t care about age. Older men are hot. Zakura: Ha! You DO have your fetishes! Sakura: WhatEVER! You’re a jerk! Zakura: You’re a bitch! Zakura: -give the fingerSakura: -sticks out tongue-

Zakura: Oh, gasp, I am foiled by the grad-school insult tactic. Sakura: FUCK YOU!! Zakura: -rolls eyes- After Sakura anything’s better… Naruto: WHA—HMPF!!! Zakura: Damn I was wrong… Naruto: NO! My first Sakura kiss and it’s from HER!! –criesManda: Ugh…I feel gross. –Throws up Kankuro-The half-digested Kankuro gets hurled across the room and slams into the wall and then collapses to then floor unconsciousSakura: Man he keeps getting abused… Kiba: Makes me feel better. Kurenai: Is someone gonna help him? Zakura: Please, go ahead. Kurenai: Ah…well…umm…you said no one can die right? Zakura: Yeah, I did, Kurenai: Well…he doesn’t look that bad…I’ll just keep an eye on him… Zakura: Heh, awesomeness.

Ask Sakura 24 A.H.S: -Breaks down the closet door, whistling a merry tune as Sasuke falls out, all swirly eyed, bounded and gagged. Tobi: -Hands a scroll- H.T sent this! A.H.S: Hmm..-Reads- Very well...Though...He's not going to be able to talk for a week, let alone walk...I took advantage of my male time. Anyhow...Tobi has an announcement to make...Tobi: -Giggles- Tobi will follow Lucy-sama's go and start his own thingy! A.H.S: -Twitches- Fuck me...Umm...Any of you guys feel like helping Tobi and I out with this when you get out of there? Deidara and Itachi...Its mandatory since your in this organization. But to my questions...Neji, Who was your first on both the male and female spectrum. Deidara, how do I get the clay stains out of carpets? -Tosses him a bag filled with purple and blue clay- Kabuto, you still wearing those s?

Deidara: Umm…I quit…yeah. Neji: Can you really just quit Akatsuki like that? Deidara: I just did. –Replaces coat with leather pants and fish-net shirt.- …yeah. Zakura: Where did you get those? No fan has supplied those! Lucifel: For sexy Deidara, I’LL supply it. :D Itachi: You can’t make me do that! …wait so…a girl who was turned into a boy who looked like Sasuke was screwing Sasuke? NICE!! Creepy Voice: Don’t run away! I can smell you! I can find you! I wanna plaaaay! Kabuto: Let’s run down the rest of this hall, ne? Kimi/Lee: -already runningNeji: Oh wow…I don’t even know if I can . Kiba: Gosh, what a surprise. Kurenai: Kiba, place nice. Neji: Yeah, pup…shut the fuck up. Kurenai: Same for you, kiddo. Neji: How come you’re being all “Adult guardian” NOW?! Kurenai: It’s getting out of control! Hinata and Naruto in the closet, forced belly-dancing,

the constant random fighting, it’s a little out of control don’t you think? Zakura: Come on! You know you enjoyed the belly-dancing! Kurenai: I did not! –blushJiraiya: I did!! Kurenai: -smacks him with skilletZakura: Go ahead and answer the questions Neji. Neji: Well, are we talking with consent? Everyone: …o.o Sakura: What? Neji: Oh, uh, never mind. My first man was Sasuke, and I’ve never been with a girl. Zakura: So who raped you? Sakura: Dear god, ever heard of tact?! Zakura: I think we met once; we didn’t get along to much… Neji: I don’t know what you’re talking about anyway…now excuse my while I take a completely inconspicuous moment alone in the frap room… Zakura: Danie and Anjiru will kill you for making them leave… First to Haku+Zabuza: Congrats on the wedding, send me a postcard from Tahiti when you get there. Oh and here’s a bottle of Midol for Haku when your "time comes". Believe me it works, and Zabuza wont be a corpse in the car trunk when your finished. (at least for that month) Naruto: Have you ever considered destroying Konoha? Itachi: What’s the worst thing you’ve made someone see with the Tsukuyomi? ...and that’s it for today...yep *whistles suspiciously before mysteriously shutting off the lights and kidnapping Kyuubi, while cackling about Saw and Hostel sequels featuring demonic foxes* Haku: -whines- thanks…oh! And I sent ALL the fans postcards from all our destinations! We’re currently at our last stop: Washington USA!

Kisame: It’s cold and wet up here…I liiiike. Zabuza: WHY are you still here? Kisame: You have a comfy backseat and I fell asleep in it.

Zabuza: But I looked back there. Kisame: …I conveniently fell asleep under a blanket and duffle bags. Zabuza: You fucking stow-away. Get off my honeymoon! -Drop-kicks Kisame into another dimension!!Kisame: Oh, hey Itachi. Itachi: GAH! What are you doing here?! Kisame: …-taps finger on chin- … -bites lip- … -tilts head- …hmm…I don’t know. DM: HEY! The PCs can’t create their own NPCs!! Kisame: who the fuck? Kabuto: Doesn’t matter. You’re with us now. Itachi: Does he have to be? Kisame: -raises eyebrow- Something you wanna say Itachi? Itachi: Uh…nooo… Kisame: -rolls eyesNaruto: Gwa? NO! Of course not! You sicko! Zakura: -raising hand- I have! Sakura: Gah! Orochimaru: Huh, me too. Jiraiya: Everyone knows that Oro… Orochimaru: Just making sure. Itachi: -walking in back of party while Kisa’s in front, making awkward glances at Kisame’s directionKabuto: You gonna answer the question?

Itachi: Huh? What? Oh…-takes fluttering pieces of paper- Oh, well, it depends on the person, but I ALWAYS show them what I think would be worst for them. Kisame: You fucking Sadist. Itachi: Like you can talk… Kisame: What? Still whining about the bruises I gave ya? Kabu/Kimi/Gaa: O.O Itachi: -twitchblush- N-no… Kisame: -snickerKabuto: -to Kimi- Geez, with Gaara lusting after caterpillar-brows and this sexual tension between Itachi and Kisame we’re the only ones not dealing with an awkward romance right now, Kimi. Annoying isn’t it? Kimimaro: -blushing- Y-yeah… Zakura: you still here Kyuubi? Kyuubi: -stashes nasty, chopped-up corpse of fangirl10174 in the closet- Yep…I certainly am. –mutters- s’what you get for liking horror movies, girly. Yo Kisame welcome to the party! Deidara, the mouths in your hands, do you use them for nothin apart from molding clay, such as self pleasure? Gaara I’m glad you like the gift basket and just for you, lee i dare you to glomp Gaara with a kiss on the cheek. For Gaara, Deidara, Itachi and Naru-Chan a gift basket filled with your favorite things! Blows kisses to Lucifel, and don't worry Jaden, they’re friendly kisses! June x

Kisame: -waves- Yo. Creepy Deidara: Self-pleasure…Itachi-pleasure…Sasori-pleasure…teehee; I put them to good use…yeah Orochimaru: Oooooh…funnn. Deidara: Damn straight…wanna see? Orochimaru: Sure!

Jiraiya: -plugs nose from bleeding as Dei and Oro start getting it onGaara: -sipping frappuccino- Of course...umm… Lee: I will as soon as I get out of this gift basket! Kabuto: And why am I in Kimi’s? Kimimaro: -BluuuushKabuto: -chooses to ignore in order to avoid awkward momentsLee: -finally gets out of ribbon- Ok! –Glomps Gaara and kisses cheekGaara: -faints with spiral-ly eyesLee: -gasp- I guess I don’t know my own strength…oh well… -picks Gaara up princess style and starts carrying himKisame: So, I could be wrong, but maybe we should inspect this door you all just ed up. Kabuto: Hey, I’m the leader here. Lee: Says who?! Itachi: Let it go kid… Lee: I don’t want to drop Gaara! Itachi: … -_Kisame: No, no, I’m sure you’re right. What do I know? Kabuto: …you sound awfully sarcastic you blue jackass… Kisame: What? No. Of course a door with a big sign saying “DO NOT ENTER THIS SACRED PLACE” is not going to be important… Kabuto: LET ME AT THE DOOR!! Zakura: Fine, since Lucifel-chan said it's alright...*Gives her back her album* And sine I'm getting snuggled...*Gives her albums of all females in Konoha, except Sakura and Hinata, naked* But you can't 'enjoy yourself' to these until after this chapter...that's a dare. Kyuubi: *Watching him use a Chibi-pout* That's...not fair...I can't resist obeying a

Chibi-pout usually..*Sigh* Fine...I'll give you the potion...but in return, you have to give your best insane-evil laugh when you become big again. *Gives him a potion that will make him 6-foot tall* LEE! MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND! Upon you I bestow this unmarked Gai-sensei package, complete with everything he'll need for a D&D Quest... P.S. *Kisses Luciefiel-chan again* Have fun everybody!

Zakura: YES!! –reads condition- No… Sakura: Do you do it that much? Zakura: Not everyone has as little sexual stimulation as you kiddo. Sakura: -blushKyuubi: Hah! It may have scarred my dignity to use the chibi pout but hot damn if it wasn’t worth it!! –DrinksMUWAHHAHAAHAHABUWAHAAHHAHAEHEHEHEHEH…wtf? -Is indeed 6-ft tall, but he’s a human male with fiery red hair, fox ears and tails (only five to represent half-power) and claws…and he’s NAKED!!Kyuubi: Well…at least I’m male… Orochimaru: AND SEXY!!! –PouncesKyuubi: -dodgesOrochimaru: -lands head-first in Jira’s lap- Well…good enough. Zakura: Eww, put some pants on. Kure/Saku/Neji/Dei/Kiba: -gawkHinata: -blushLee: -gasp!- It’s Gai-Sensei! Gai: ACK! Why did you take me from my sexy party?! –Runs away down the hall in search of sexy-partyLee: Gai-sensei!! Don’t leave!! –Teary eyesItachi: What’s terrifying is that he was actually having a sexy party… Kabuto: Word. HAH! The door is opened!

-They go in1. Zakura- What's it like to be the alter ego of the most annoying bitch on the planet? 2. Orochimaru- Why are you so stupid? Oh by the way, BURN IN HELL! 3. Naruto- I dare YOU to kiss the person you hate the most in this room on the lips! -Grins wickedly4.Lee- Heehee...-glomps Lee- You're going to go out with me. You know why? I paid my older cousin to kidnap Gai sensei and he is locked in my dad's closet. Trust me that door is BULLETPROOF! I will let him out if you go on a date with me. Or else you will never see him again! (And it has to be a nice date. No showing up just to knock me out.)

Sakura: Ok, we can skip the first two generic fan comments… Orochimaru: No YOU burn!! Sakura: And the childish retorts…Naruto? Naruto: I don’t hate anyone…really! I don’t wanna kiss Orochimaru! Zakura: You should be so lucky! it it, you hate Kyuubi the most. Naru/Kyuu: -horrorZakura: you know it’s true. Let’s get some sexy fox loving going on. Sakura: Just because he’s in human form doesn’t make this right! Kyuubi: Well, being a demon I technically am of the same intelligence as humans so really it’s just about body-shape and I’m human right now so it’s not really bestiality… Zakura: So, you WAN’T to get kissed by Naruto? Kyuubi: Gah! No! Zakura: Too bad! Naruto, let’s go! Naruto: -weepsKyuubi: Godamnit, if you won’t do it I’ll just get this over with. –Grabs Naruto’s collar and pulls him into a forceful kissNaruto: -pushing away- OWW! That hurt!

Kyuubi: Sorry, I forgot how frail humans are. Naruto: -wipes mouth- HEY! I’m fucking bleeding! Kyuubi: Well…that’s how I do things. Kure/Kiba/Oro/Dei: -turned on-Down the hall they hear Gai screamLee: AAAAH!! He’s been captured! Kabuto: Too bad, in we go! -Kabuto pushes Lee into the room and looking around they find it to be a 12x12 room, with tall walls that soar endlessly above their heads. In the center of the room is four-foot tall square-based pedestal with an inscription on top of it, and dozens of gems and knobs on its surface. The whole room if full of flowing iridescent blue energyKisame: Fancy. Itachi: So who’s gonna go read that inscription? Kimimaro: Kisame. H’s probably got the most hit points of all of us. Kisame: huh? I can’t read that. Kimimaro: It’s just common. Kabuto: Which looks suspiciously like English… Kimimaro: Oh, that explains it, fine I’ll do it. -Gaara, meanwhile, wakes up and finds himself pressed against Lee’s strong chest, in his arms and decides there’s really no reason for him to be awake right nowLee: Oh, wait!! Kimimaro: WHAT?! Lee: I have to go on a date to get Gai back.., Gaara: -twitchKimimaro: LATER!!

Lee: -whimpering- fine… I know that 8-and-a-half-tails guy. We're friends. Or maybe not. (Fur begins to grow, ears begin to point) Huh. Too much demonic chakra, I guess. Now I'll have to shave again... Shikamaru: isn't shaving troublesome? That's why I only shave every few weeks... Kyuubi: tough break, man. I like this chakra, it's thirst-quenching, I don't mind the side effects, and I really like the creamy melon aftertaste.

Shikamaru: Yeah, that’s why I never do. Kiba: But…you don’t have a beard! Shikamaru: I’m FOURTEEN!! I’m sure it’ll start growing eventually… Kiba: -snrrrrrrrk- bwahahahahahahahahah, Shika ain’t got no facial hair!! Shino: -snickerOrochimaru: Hey, I never grew any either… Kiba: And? Orochimaru: It’s actually very convenient. Shikamaru: That’s what I was thinking… Kyuubi: Get away from my creamy melon chakra!! Zakura: Creamy melon? That sounds like a realllly bad porn show… Sakura: Oh geez… HT: WAH! NOW AMBER HAS HER BIG SWORD AND SHE KEPT SWINGING IT AT ME! I HATE YOU ZABUZA! HT: yay! OMG!! I GOT TO HUG KYUUBI! IM SO HAPPY! amber: i didn’t get a tail. GIMME THE GOD DAMN FRICKEN TAIL DUMBASS BEFORE I FIND YOU AND STRIKE YOU WITH FIRE BITCH! HT: Orochimaru has any one that works for you like Kabuto or Sasuke ever dissed you? amber: omg. Where’s bird boy? HT: i dunno. amber: oh well. HT: oh! i need to give everyone balloons! Pick your fav color!! Oh, good luck Haku! *giggles* you’ll need it. Amber: whatever. Let’s play run and get hurt. HT: AH! *runs away* amber: *chases with giant sword*

Zabuza: Too bad for you. Go get your own sword. Haku: -from bathroom- YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! IHATEEVERYTHINGANDEVERYONEANDIGOTBLOODALLOVERMYCUTEUND ERWEARANDSHORTSANDTHEREISNOREASONFORTHISMUCHPAINIT’SNOTF AIR!!!!!!!!! Zabuza: Oh crap it’s started… Zakura: -snicker- swung her big sword… Sakura: you’re such a pervert! Zakura: I know. Kyuubi: NO! –Hugs own tailsZakura: When are you gonna put some fucking clothes on?! Kyuubi: I don’t like clothing…it’s restricting. Kurenai: I have no problem with that. Jiraiya: So why don’t you get naked?! Kurenai: I only appreciate it with him…and Gai. Kiba: IDON’TWANNAKNOW!! Orochimaru: Yeah, Sasuke tries being all tough sometimes. We get into while we’re having sex, it’s hilarious. Kabuto and Kimi were always darlings though. Zakura: Just send an assortment. It’ll be fun. –evil smirkSakura: How are you going to make something perverted and evil out of balloons?! Zakura: I’ll find a way… Ok now this -throws Jangofet into roomSakura: Since you hated kissing Zakura...I dare you to make out with her for 7 minutes I uh "accidentally" cloned Sasuke. He uhh won't leave me alone Sasuke: Your game chair broke Saskuretsu: How'd you break it!? Sasuke: I lit it on fire Saskuretsu: You die now -pulls out shotgun-

Sasuke: -runsSaskuretsu: Run damn you Yeah...Sasuke #2 is hiding in m closet Sakura I cloned you a Sasuke but I programmed him to like you...your welcome...unfortunately he is sex-crazed and not gay although I don't know if thats bad or good for .

Kurenai: Eep Jango: …wtf? Kiba: whoa…-starts inspecting armorJango: Hey kid, hands off! –Shoots Kiba with LaserKiba: -yelps and collapsesShino: -catchesKurenai: -running out- HEY!! You fucking bastard that’s my student! Jango: …Kurenai? Kurenai: What of it? You better not have seriously injured Kiba! Jango: Wait…what…what are you doing here? Jiraiya: How the hell do you two know each other?! Kurenai: Just one of those mistakes… Jango: Hey, it was no mistake on my part! Kurenai: Of course not! Running away and leaving a poor young girl broken hearted and confused was just your style wasn’t it?! Jango: That couldn’t be helped! I tried to apologize! Kurenai: Like I ever wanted to see your face again! Orochimaru: I’d like to see his face now…that helmet is gay. Jango: -whimper- it is nooot! Kurenai: Yes it is. Jango: bitch.

Kurenai: Fag. ((Outside Tenten finally pushes the dead Jaba off of her, she’s just barely alive. Above her Jango fett is suddenly kicked out through a window and comes falling down…down… down…and barely misses!! Sighing in relief Tenten gets to her feet…and then Jango’s helmet falls down and smashes her on the head so she falls down unconscious again)) Sakura: Aaaaanyway… Kurenai: -makes sure Kiba is okZakura: No. Hell no. Naruto: hehehe, get in the closet you two!! –Shoves them in!Jiraiya: I’m watching through this crack…just to make sure you do it of course. Orochimaru: -sigh-Seven minutes laterSaku/Zaku: -Break out gasping and gagging.Sakura: Well that’s one relief…but I want the original Sasuke! Sasuke Clone: I love you Sakura! Even though I am an emo, psycho incapable of love…I can change just for you. :D Sakura: He’s creepy… Zakura: Eww. Orochimaru: -kills the clone- here you go Manda-sama! Manda: Good enough. –Eats cloneZakura: There goes that… Gaara: OMG! Gaara you won't believe what i read!*all said really fast* I was reading this fanfiction call Don't believe it and you were going after lee but you kept hurting him but the you went to this guy and he gave you a potion that made you into a smexy read head and then you and lee had hot steamy sex!...*grabs shoulders* what ever you do PLEASE don't turn yourself into a woman! It just ruins the whole point of GaaLee! I mean...I had nightmares for weeks! *twitches*...anyway...i know i had something to ask...^-^; oh yeah! Is there anyone other than lee you would want to…you know *wiggles eyebrows suggestively* Zakura: I'm glad you liked my dare for Hinata! Here’s my question. How were you

created, like how did you come about? (did sakura create you or something?) Jiraiya: HI!! Me and my friend talking when we randomly started to RP and in the end we had a threesome with you! ^^ so how long to you plan on being a writer? Mini Death

Gaara: I…don’t…plan to? Lee: Oh! You’re awake?! Gaara: -quickly- no. Lee: I am not so foolish Gaara! I know you couldn’t talk so clearly in your sleep! Gaara: Yes I can. Lee: Oh…well, anyways I don’t understand why you turning into a girl would make me have sex with you… Gaara: -crushed- Anyway…sure, there are other people I’d screw. Like Naruto. Itachi: EWWWW. And Lee, you do know Gaara’s awake right? Gaara: -Gives the fingerLee: He says he’s not, and I trust Gaara very much. Itachi: Oh my god… Kimimaro: Can I read this to you people already? Kabuto: Please do. Kimimaro: -ahem- “what you come to seek is gone away, carried by two legs down contorted halls, with greater goal in mind than answering beck and call. Seek and find this hidden treasure and you shall be saved beyond measure”…that is the WORST rhyme ever. DM: Gimme a break. God…ingrates… Kabuto: Well who fucking took it?! Itachi: Probably that big-ass warrior we killed awhile back. Kisame: They almost make it sound like this item hand a mind of it’s own… Itachi/Kabuto: …THE GIRL!!!!

Zakura: I dunno. One day when Sakura wasn’t sticking up for herself…I just kind of woke up. Jiraiya: Well, you know girls…one should always live their fantasies… Oro/Kure: -SMACKJiraiya: Owww…and for as long as I can get material. Oro/Kure: -SMACKTo Naruto and Lee: Why are you two so blind? Lee, Tenten luvs you and you are so ignorant of her? Naruto, Hinata is a cute girl, has a nice rack for her age and STALKS YOU! C'mon! To Kyuubi: Why are you so damn cool? You are possibly the coolest person in there! To you I give an hour of freedom from your chibi form. Do you like Billy Joel music at all? To Zakura: This has been bothering me for a while; do you look like Sakura at all? If so I pity you. I give to everyone a pic of a chibi Hinata! Enjoy!

Naruto: She does? Hinata: NO I DON’T!! Lee: She does? Neji: Who the fuck is Tenten? Naruto: Of course Hinata doesn’t stalk me. That’d be silly, she could just go ahead and come right up and hang out with me. Hinata: -blushKyuubi: Can’t help it. I just am. Zakura: Plus he has a big member so he think it makes him king of the world. Kyuubi: In a man’s world it DOES. Zakura: whatever. Kurenai: -gulpKyuubi: Billy Joel’s ok. Lucifel: YAY piano man…oh and btw, I’m starting a harem and ceyx0991 is my first official member. (Jaden is first husband, so he don’t count as a harem member)

Zakura: And I look like Sakura but with black hair and dress, and bigger boobs. Sakura: not fucking fair… Everyone: YAY!! CHIBI HINATA!!! To Shikamaru: WHERE was your tattoo? I recently saw some Naru/Jira stuff so... Jiraiya has to kiss Naruto! ... I feel perverted somehow. Sorry Naru:D heehaw throws Mewtwo into room. Good luck bitches!

Shikamaru: Why does she ask me a question every time?! It’s so troublesome… Shino: It was on his ass. Why do you think I only saw it while he was in the bathroom? Sakura: Guys are so gross!! Shino: I couldn’t help it… Naruto: Why am I being so abused this chapter?! Jiraiya: Naruto, do the sexy no jutsu!! Naruto: No way! I’m not gonna do that just so you enjoy it!! Jiraiya: I won’t!! What do you take me for?! Just do it so I feel less pervy! Naruto; You couldn’t BE less pervy if your life depended on it! Kiba: -bumps Jiraiya and he falls forward into a kiss with NarutoNaruto: BLEGH!! NASTY! Jiraiya: uuh…yeah…-blushZakura: That is so—aww, fuck, its mewtwo. Mewtwo: You ninja are not adequate ninja. I will create an army of ninja clones and we will take over this world and make it a better place. A cleaner place… Zakura: Stop whining you pathetically emo excuse for a villain! Mewtwo: w-what? Zakura: First of all, cloning ninjas is no big deal, we do it ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

Sakura: Z…it’s not that kind of— Zakura: You stay out of it!! Secondly, shut the fuck up! The world is FINE. Clones suck ass. Mewtwo: You will pay for that… -eyes glow and things start explodingKyuubi: Excuse, before you kill everything else…could you get me a ninetails clone? Mewtwo: You too will be cloned and improved for my new wor— Kyuubi: -POWMewtwo: -gets thrown across the room by the force of the punchKyuubi: How dare you fucking suggest you can improve ME?! I’ll show you who needs improving!! -Kyuubi whoops ass on mewtwo and eventually knocks him out and throws him outside…he lands on Tenten and get his head stuck in Jango’s helmet.(goes psycho)I WILL NOT BE DENIED!(casts spell to give Kyuubi another tail gives tail to HT then casts another spell to make him 4 foot from paw to shoulder) that's fair right? Anyways does anyone have a problem with fangirls while I'm in a killing mood (yes I'm a psycho and I like the taste of blood) I will personally torture, kill, and/or eat them. You can tell me how you wish them to die also. But there's a catch, if they're my friend they don't die but anyone else will.

Sakura: So…who else wants to just pretend like this letter never happened? Everyone: -nodsnodsDeidara: Aww, but crazy people are so much fun…yeah… Kankuro: -twitchKyuubi: -holds tails defensivelyHinata: You are so KAWAII!! I totally LOVE YOU! So sweet.. Gaara: I read that you hate sweets and your favorite food was salted tongue, if so, how can you like fraps? Lee: Do you REALLY like Sakura? Honestly. If so, why? And I have a dare! BE EMO FOR A CHAPTER! (is that physically possible =O)Plus, Lee, you didn't kiss who you thought was the most sexiest. *giggle* Ta, loves! SpontaneousDefinate

Hinata: Th-thank you…-blush-

Naruto: Ne, Hinata, you have so many fans! Isn’t it great!? Hinata: -blush and faintNaruto: She sure gets a lot of fainting spells…weird…Kurenai, you should have a doctor check her or something. Everyone: -face-palmGaara: Whoever said that was a LIAR. I do like salted tongue, but I also love sweets…just not chocolate. Lee: -gasp- HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE CHOCOLATE?! –drops GaaraGaara: OWWW! Lee: Oh, I’m sorry, did that wake you? Everyone: … Gaara: yeah…sure… Kabuto: Let’s go find the damn kid… Lee: While we are walking I must say that I am completely in love with Sakura because she shows determination and devotion even in the roughest times! She is strong and beautiful always! Gaara: -whimperLee: What is emo? Itachi: Fall out boy, Panic at the Disco, A.F.I., you know… Lee: Oh, ok. –Makes plans for chapter 25- Oh, and I wasn’t around for the truth or dare part, so it technically didn’t count! Lucifel/Dm: DO IT NOW!! Lee: As in…who here do I think is sexiest? DM: Ayup. Lee: Oh…I’m straight…

DM: But if you were gay, just think about who in general you would be most attracted to. Gaara: -closes eyes and prays- pleasepleaseplease…I’ll become religious, God, I’ll believe in you, if you just give me this— Itachi: WHAT THE FUCK KID!?! GET OFF OF ME!! Gaara: …I hate you god… Lucifel: I want to leave you all with this very insightful thought brought to you by Ceyx0991 who is my son and harem member. -Ahem- Shikamaru’s head is like a pineapple. Shikamaru: Hey! Kiba: Whoa…it IS… Shikamaru: -glaresLucifel: And SpongeBob lives in a pineapple. … … Just think about that. LOVE YOU ALL!!! BAI BAI!!

Ask Sakura 25 Lucifel: Hello one and all…So, I’m here to apologize because I just can’t do it anymore. This will be the last installment of Ask Sakura. Like, I love you all, and I love this story, but it just takes to much time. I’m too busy and tired and un-inspired. I really, REALLY, wanted this to last a year but…y’know, shit happens. Sorry! Also, I deleted chapter 15, which was the alert about my winter break. So, the screwed up all the reviewing because it made chapter 27 chapter 26 so people couldn’t review. I’m sorry! People in the room: PARTAY!! We’re leaving tomorrow!! Kabuto: What ?! DM: You get stuck in here. Unless you can escape by the end of this chapter… Kabuto: We need to go NOW. Everyone: -rushes out of the roomHaku: Hi! We’re back!…GODAMMIT CRAMPS!! –collapsesZabuza: Oh thank fucking GOD it’s almost over… Haku: -while in fetal position on the floor- But where will we go?! Zabuza: Away from here and that’s all the matters. Kiba: how is it the only girl who gets cramps is Haku?! Sakura: We’re used to it. I’m on my period right now. Kiba/Naru: EWWWWW!!! This one is for both Sakura and Kakashi: How do you feel about each other? I mean lets face it, there is nothing keeping you apart: age is only a number and Sakura is no longer your student, Kakashi. Sasuke is a traitor and you deserve better...after all, someone needs to heal your broken heart (and not Naruto, for he belongs with Hinata). Plus, you are both attractive...

((Kakashi is too busy picking up where Gai’s sexy party left off to answer questions… sorry)) Sakura: No! He’s SO not my type! I don’t like lazy men! That’s Ino’s deal! Shikamaru: -twitchNaruto: Hwa? I don’t belong to any girl… Kyuubi: That’s right kid, fight the power. Kurenai: Women are ‘the power’ now? Kyuubi: Always were. Kurenai: -rolls eyesA.H.S: -Hums softly,licking the blood dripping from her fingers- Good news!! Tobi's dead! So no fic for him!! The other Akatsuki: Yay! A.H.S: And some odd news! I have finally agreed to marry Sasori and give him the Ask whatever fic! Sasori: -Snuggles from behind, smiling creepily- Hurray for me!! A.H.S: Anyhow!! -Tosses Itachi a portable Dvd player and Dvd- I caught all the closet action for ya!! Zakura!! I want you and the others to help plan the wedding!! -Coughes- Deidara, you know the rules. You leave you will be killed. No offense Oro-chan but we still have to kill you, no matter how much I respect your work. Questions/dares: Gaara and Lee, I dare you to have an uber hot makeout session!! Sakura, have you read the Phoenix Final Flare jutsu yet? Itachi: Oh SWEET!! We have to watch this! Kabuto: If you have the time for that, good for you. The rest of us will be getting our asses OUT of here!! Itachi: I…uh…I…grr…um…FINE!! But the second I’m out of here I’m watching it. Kisame: Well, shit, I wanna see it too. Itachi: NO! This is mine! Kisame: Oh whatever…like I don’t have complete ownership of your ass. Itachi: -blushGaa/Kimi: -confused looks-

Kabuto: We don’t have time for a make-out session! Gaara: meep… Lee: Why would you want something like that anyway?! Gaara: -clutching Kimi’s arm- Why does he torment me?! DM: Lucy says you can wait until you’re out (if you get out) and then do any dares. Gaara: Come on let’s hurry! Kimimaro: How inconspicuous… Gaara: -glaresZakura: Sure. I’ll leave arranging the wedding to Haku and Hinata… Haku: KYEEE!! Let’s plan! Zabuza: …not again… Deidara: You can’t kill me while I’m in here…yeah. Sasori-sama…why are you leaving me for her? Zakura: You two were an item? Deidara: Well, we weren’t monogamous but I thought I was his favorite…yeah…hey, let me help plan the wedding…yeah… Haku: OK! Deidara: -evil smirkSakura: I have…and I’m just waiting for an excuse… Zakura: You realize I know it too now right? Sakura: I HATE YOU! Zakura: I’ll be back in you by the end of this chapter. Sakura: Whatever…we should really have sake to celebrate this… Kiba: YOSH!! Drunken party!

Neji: -gets kicked violently away from the frap pool- Ouch…bitches… Danie & Anjiru: Greetings from the frap pool! Anjiru: Now, onto our questions/dare/gifts/randomness! Danie: Firstly... Kurenai, why do you like Gai!? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! WHY! WHY MUST YOU LIKE THAT…THAT... PEDOPHILE!! HE'S A LAME EXCUSE FOR A TEACHER! -cries sadly in a corner that has the sign "Danie-chan's EMO corner"Anjiru: -pats Danie on the back- Ahem... I'm really sorry about her breakdown... Anyway, I have a simple question for all of you, given the chance that you can change the way you look, will you change the way you look? Why or why not? Danie: -still cryingAnjiru: Look what you've done Kurenai!! She won't stop crying because you like Gai!! Anyway... a question from Danie... She said, "Can I turn Oreo-sama back into a girl? I liked him more when he was a girl!!" Danie: -at last stops crying- I'm gonna kill him... -shoots Gai with a M16Gai: LE! -falls on the floor deadDanie: MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA! -vanishesAnjiru-chan & Danie-chan Kurenai: He is NOT a pedophile! That’s Kakashi’s department! ((Gai meanwhile is muttering Lee’s name in his sleep…what?)) Naruto: Like…for real? Kurenai: What did YOU think he and Sasuke trained alone so much for? Naruto: I feel sick… Sakura: You know this? Kurenai: All the jonin do. Sakura: And you let him TEACH?! Kurenai: -shrugs- it’s his own business. At least he usually gets consent. Sakura: How can you be ok with this?! Kurenai: Well, you get kind of de-sensitized after a while. Even Asuma has his moments. Shikamaru: -blushZakura: Show of hands, who WOULD change their appearance? Saku/Hina/Jira/Dei/Kyuu/Kan(while still twitching): -raise hands-

Zakura: So tell us, why do you think you’re ugly? Besides Sakura who IS. Sakura: I hate you!! I only want a smaller forehead! Zakura: And rightly so. Hinata!! You’re so cute! What could you possibly want to change!! Hinata: I well…I’d like to…well…-blushKurenai: Come on, Hinata, what is it? Hinata: Well…I wish my breasts were smaller…. All: WHY?! Hinata: They…they’re annoying…When I fight I have to bind them really tight or they move too much and it stresses my back…and when I try to lie down in the tub they don’t submerge all the way… Neji/Kiba/Jira/Zaku/: ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Hinata: -nods- my tub is shallow. Lucifel: (I have this problem too. Shallow tub+big chest REALLY ANNOYING) Kiba: But you’re like…rich…doesn’t your family have a really nice tub or something? Hinata: Th-they do…I was talking about my Per-personal tub… All: -gape- no fair… Hinata: So…I’d rather have Sakura’s body…she’s skinnier too… Kurenai: Hinata, dear, men like full-figured girls. Jira/Kiba/Naru/Neji/Zabu/Zaku: HELL YEAH!! Hinata: -blushZakura: And just in case you’re curious so do lesbians! Sakura: -palm-smackJiraiya: Anyway, I’d just like to be young again is all…I miss my flexibility… Orochimaru: It’s ok. I have enough for both of us.

Jiraiya: -nosebleedDeidara: I always wanted blue eyes…yeah. Zakura: Is that it? Deidara: Yup. Zakura: Fair enough. Kyuubi: Well I’d like to be a giant fox again. You know, just one of those little things… Orochimaru: I know something of yours that ISN’T a little thing…-looks deliberately downwards…Kyuubi: -shields self with a tailZakura: And you can give him another brown potion and see if he drinks it. Otherwise, no gender changing! Orochimaru: Awww… Sakura: Wait! I thought you couldn’t let any characters die! What about Gai? Lucifel: That’s outside my jurisdiction. Sorry. Sakura: …somehow…I don’t care. Anyways, Shikamaru, Sponge bob lives in your hair, wow that’s a new one. Lee wtf! I know Itachi’s sexy, but hell Gaara is pyscho cute! Lee i dare you to have a full make out (tongues included) with Gaara for 10 minutes! try not to suffocate! Itachi, why did you kill your mum, she was nice, every other Uchiha i understand, arrogant pricks. Naru-Chan, if you were gay, who would you go out with, can be anyone from the Naruto world. Kisses Lucifel. June x Shikamaru: He does not…ugh… Naruto: Are you SURE? Shikamaru: Yes, you’re the bubble-head. Not me. Naruto?

Shikamaru: Exactly. Lee: Huh? But he is tall and dark and feminine enough that I don’t mind kissing him so much. Itachi: Kimi’s girlier than me! Lee: Yeah but…he’s too pale. Gaara: -compares skin to Kimi’sItachi: What about Gaara?! Gaara: -intent stareLee: Well, the truth is…I like some men, but only ones older and stronger than me. Kabuto: Liiiike Gai? Gaara: -silently praying- nonononono, PLEASE, no Lee: -blush- N-no…of course not. Let us continue this adventure! Ita/Kisa/Kabu: -follow Lee with much snickering and eye-rollingGaara: -stays behind staring after LeeKimimaro: You ok, kiddo? Gaara: I feel like I’ve been raped… Kimimaro: -snicker- Come on…you’ll get TWO make-out sessions now! Gaara: But…but now I’ll just be thinking about him kissing Gai… Kimimaro: Naw, you’ll have other stuff to think about. Trust me. Itachi: She was not nice. She TOTALLY played favorites with Sasuke! She threw out my nail polish!! –Flames from eyes and mouthKisame: Do you need me to cool you down? Itachi:…you never cool me down… Kabuto: huh? What?

Itachi: NOTHING! NOTHING! Let’s move on, ne?! Naruto: Oh…um…hmmm… -sits in silence for a few minutesZakura: Oh come ON we know you’re not reallt thinking. Out with it! Naruto: Fine! I guess it would have to be Gaara…-poutGaara: You know, Kimi, even in the light of this horrible revelation. I feel somehow pleased… Kimimaro: Stop talking like Itachi. Sakura: Eww! Why Gaara?! Naruto: -shrugs- We just have that understanding, y’know? We’re tight. Jiraiya: I TOTALLY had my money on Sasuke… Naruto: Eww. No. Too emo for me. Sakura: YES! He is mine! Orochimaru: As IF. Itachi: Just so everyone knows, Sasuke’s mine. Just had to put that out there. Kisame: That is so freaky… Itachi: What it’s— Kabu/Ita: --JUST incest! Itachi: huh? –BlinkKabuto: -rolls eyesShika, I'm sorry I'm so troublesoome I'll leave you alone... why don't you use the journal anymore? To Kyuubi I give assorted smexy clothing in case he gets anoyed by everyone staring at him. Deidara can have what left over. to Haku and Kyuubi, again, I give yellow potions. Their are obvious advantages but look closely, there are some drawbacks to.

Shikamaru: …Wasn’t that just another question? –sigh- I just write when no-one’s paying attention. Lucifel: but…but I see all… Shikamaru: -smirkLucifel: …that’s not fair. Kyuubi: Eww, clothes… Deidara: YAY! –grabs clothes and goes through them ravenously- oooh! LOOK AT THIS COAT!!...yeah… –holds up massive black coat with a HUGE red-fur collarKyuubi: …that I can wear. –steals and puts onDeidara: hey… Haku: Oh…I don’t know…can’t I just have another brown potion? Lucifel: KK’s too crafty for that. Haku: But…would I go back to being dead? Zakura: No, it’s just your body. Haku: What if I go back to my half-rotted corpse. Zabuza: My only words on this is that I’m no necrophiliac. Haku: I’ll . Kyuubi: …dammit I just got this coat! Otherwise I would. -the D&D group suddenly comes across a hallway in which five bodies lie twisted and brokenKabuto: Poor bastards…they look vaguely familiar. Itachi: Oh shit…these are the people that took our place! Kabuto: So? Itachi: They had the girl! Kabuto: …dammit.

Kimimaro: Usually Kabuto’s the one a step ahead…must be stressing out too much…heh, he’s cute when he stresses. Gaara: Yeah, uh-huh…-watches Lee hungrily as he looks through the bodiesLee: OI! One’s alive! Kabuto: Dammit. –goes and heals until he’s at one hit pointFighter: -cough- What’s going on? Who are you? Kabuto: NPCs. Fighter:…The DM’s falling behind on names. Thanks for healing me! oh no. Are my friends dead? Kabuto: Your role-playing makes me cry. So, where did the little girl go? Fighter: We were attacked by a demon and he took her away. Itachi: Don’t you even want to know WHY we want to know?! Fighter: Oh…why? Kabuto: -punches him in the faceDM: He’s at negative one again… Kabuto: And I don’t care. People like that deserve to have their characters killed. Probably provoked the damn demon. DM: …maybe. Kabuto: Ayup. (Now looks like a brown kitsune in a green robe) Good news, everybody! I ed chakraholics anonymous and I don't need this small mountain of Kyuubi chakra in a can anymore! So, I'm auctioning it to the highest bidder in that room. Kyuubi, you can bid too, so you might wanna draw me a map to your hidden demon treasure trove. Kiba: What's with the red triangles on your cheeks? Shikamaru: Holy crap, almost no ninja around has facial hair! There's Asuma, Sarutobi, maybe your dad, and I think that's it! I'm going to assume it's not homosexuality-related and say it's something in the water... Kyuubi: I won’t kill you when my day of total annihilation comes. How’s that?

Deidara; I’ll give sexy favors and lots of my clay. Zakura: I’ll give you all of Sakura’s money, a threesome with me AND Sakura (or one on one with whomever you choose), and naughty pictures sakura has stashed in her underwear drawer. Sakura: That’s all MY stuff!! Zakura: What else can I bid?! Kyuubi: -feeling challenged- I’ll give you your own harem of whatever women you want. Zakura: I’ll be IN your harem! Deidara: I don’t even really want the chakra…except for to help Akatsuki…yeah. …I just wanna get laid. Neji: umm, hi? Just say the word. Deidara: I wasn’t given the word, sadly…yeah Neji: …well, lucky for you the word is sadly. You win! Deidara: I like being on the bottom…I don’t know if you’d be any good…yeah Neji: Was that a challenge blondie? Deidara: …yeah. -Neji tackles Dei into the closet and soon they can hear moaning and squealingKiba: -trying to ignore- they’re uh…umm…they’re…eww, what was that sound? Shino: Just answer the question, love. Kiba: Oh, they’re kind of like tribe-marking thing my family does. Naruto: But aren’t you like the only family that does that? Kiba: Yeah, so? Naruto: So what’s the point? Kiba: …shut up!! Shikamaru: yeah…but then again we’re Asian.

Sakura: Did Shikamaru just say something racist? Shikamaru: no I stated a fact. Kiba: Hey! I could grow a beard if I wanted to! Neji: -coming out of the closet with a well-exhausted Deidara- You’ve been in here for almost four months; wouldn’t you have grown something by now?! Kiba: Wouldn’t you have?! Neji: I always have a razor with me n my survival pack. Kiba: …fuck you. –Sulks in Shino’s lap.MiniD: Hi every one! waves I have some one here who is a good friend of mine! Catnipped: Hi! waves MiniD: just so you know she's the other girl that has that large fetish for Jiraiya. anyway, questions! Catnipped: Oh! i got one! hey lee! why is it you dress like Gai and don't have your own style? not that i'm complaining...looks at lees butt MiniD: pushes Catnipped away anyway now that you mention lee...giggels pervertedly pushes gaara's and lee's heads together and casts a spell so that their lips are stuck together Now your lips can't part until you two makeout for ten minutes! insert evil laugh here. Ok i'm done now. Catnipped: Another question! MiniD: Yes another question! Orochi-kun(or orochimaru-sama whatever you like best) i know you want to destroy Konoha but why? Mini Death Jiraiya: Why can Sasuke visit the fans but I can’t? WHY?! –Dramatic pose of anguishLee: -looks over shoulder at own but- …? I dress like Gai and follow his lifestyle because he is such an amazing person!! Gaara: -loads rifle grumbling- Let’s see how you like what happens when you look at MY Lee’s ass… Kimimaro: Uh-huh, yeah, and how are you gonna get to them? Gaara: I’ll find a way. Kimimaro: but they’re so ive of you and Lee! Gaara: Yeah, well she shouldn’t have looked at his ass.

Kimimaro: You over-protective little boy. Kabuto: Guys! I’m trying to track down this little girl with NO tracking skills, shut the fuck up! Itachi: God, maybe you should have taken a “bonus” in tracking. –Rolls eyesKabuto: Clerics don’t need tracking!!...wait, you’re a fucking assassin! YOU should be doing this! You’re the one that hunts people down! Itachi: Yeah, and why would I do that? Kabuto: Because if you don’t you’ll never get into your little brother’s ass again. Itachi: …Set me on the trail!! Orochimaru: Well, DUH, because…because…Because they SMELL bad over there. Kyuubi: So true! Kyuu/Oro: -High five!Hinata: I dare you too tell Naruto how much you ire him, -why- you ire him, and then it your true feelings to him... Kyuubi: Bravo on the evil laugh Kyuubi! I dare you to make-out with Kurenai for..3 minutes? Yeah, 3 minutes. Nods solemly And in reward, besides the kissing, I'll give you an extra tail, but sorry, no more height...lots more power though!Lee: YOSH! I apoligize my youthful comrade, I did not know that Gai-sensei would run off like that, -orkidnapped...However, I have arragned it so that my minions will re-capture him, and return him to safety. Gives him a case of Soldier-Sake That Improves your strength, speed, hit points, and endurance by all lot, and allows you to to use your Drunken-Fist Style... Also, mind if I train with you some time, your training sounds much more rigorous then my own, and would undoubtlely improve my own ability! YOSH! MAY THE FLAMES OF YOUTH EXPLODE! P.S. Good luck Zabuza with P Hinata: I…I uh…wha… Naruto: I know that Hinata ires me, because of my way-of-a-ninja. I also know how good of friends we are! There’s nothing for her to tell! –Gives thumbs up to HinataHinata: -bluuushShikamaru: -aside to Naruto- Was that just a cleverly played move to keep Hinata from expressing feeling you know she has but is shy about and you don’t want her to be pressured into saying so?

Naruto: …hwa? Shikamaru: heh…never mind. Kyuubi: …but…but she’s so…-shiversKurenai: And what the fuck is wrong with with me? Kyuubi: Well, you’re human…And some humans I’m ok with, but you’re just SO human…I mean, ick. Kurenai: Oh really? You’re so sure? Kyuubi: -raises eyebrows- Yeaaaah. Kurenai: Why don’t you see for your own damn self? Kyuubi: …wait, what? Kurenai: -rolls eyes, and then pounces on KyuubiEveryone: O Kyuubi: -after Kurenai has pulled back- …whoa. Kurenai: -starts to walk awayKyuubi: -as new tail appears he grabs her arm- And where are you going? Kurenai: To talk with my student. Kyuubi: Babe, where I come from, you FINISH it if you’re gonna start something like that. Kurenai: -stomps foot, knees groin, pokes eyes and punches noseKyuubi: -falls to the floor yowling in pain.Kurenai: Yup, all you fancy ninja-men are never ready for some basic self-defense…:3 Jiraiya: -covers self defensivelyLee: Oooh! This will be very useful!! Kimimaro: Ack! –Hides behind Gaara-

Gaara: Um, wtf? Kimimaro: Oh, sorry, flashback. Gaara: Was it that bad? Kimimaro: I’m coping. Gaara: …damn, I’m sorry. Kabuto: Just wait to— Lee: -gulps down the sakeKabuto: Well, never fucking mind. Lee: Yosh! I am a great warrior! I can not be defea-hic-ted, I will break us out of this place with my hands!! –Starts banging head on a wallKabuto: That’s your head… Lee: …oh yes…-punches wallWall: -collapsesDM: GODAMMIT!! Lee: Yosh! What’d I –hic- tell you? Kabuto: …well I’ll be fucked in hell…Onward then! Lee: And…and of COURSE you can train with me, so long as-s’long as you keep up with my youth! Kimimaro: -follows very far behind-Throws Luke Skywalker into the roomyou know if you keep throwing these people out the window you can just jump out using Orochimaru as a pad Sasuke: Gimme some money I will sell you to a fan girl if you don't shut up Sasuke: I'll be good Go die! Sasuke: Ok emoness go -slits wrist

Zakura: Don't complain for the entire chapter Naruto: Chew on a dog treat fox-boy Luke Skywalker: Hey kids! Let’s learn about safety when using the force! Zakura: ugh, it’s the goody-two-shoes. And btw, that window is only there when it is needed for the throwing out of guests, so that wouldn’t work. Luke: But you should NEVER throw yourself, or especially not your friends or guests out a window, kids! Neji: So like…what happened to being a jedi? Luke: That’s my profession, sure. But as a hobby I teach safety to kids!! Always do what you enjoy most! –gives enthusiastic thumbs upZakura: So…who wants to throw this one out? Everyone: MEMEME!!! Luke: Hey now, that’s not very nice or safe… Orochimaru: ACK!! Did my Sasuke-chan really kill himself?! NOO!! Luke: -while dodging the people trying to catch him- Oh, cutting is very dangerous. Zakura: My fucking GOD will you shut UP?! –steals Kurenai’s skillet and smashes his head into pulp- Whew, that helped loose all the pent-up hate I have for pussy-faces like Sakura… Sakura: HEY! Zakura: So…what to do with the body? Kyuubi: -points thumb towards closet- put him in the corpse room. Zakura: cool. –throws the body in- What?! Me not complain?! …You’re not serious… Sakura: they’re READERS, of course they’re not. But we have to do their will anyway… it’s your own fault. Zakura: I’m…not bothered by this…really I’m not…-twitchNaruto: I used to eat dog treats all the time…and this is the gourmet kind! You’re spoiling me! –eats dog treat-

Kiba: Dude! Those were my favorite kind growing up! Give me some! Naru/Kiba: -eat dog foodShino: I’m not kissing you until you have SCRUBBED that mouth. Kiba: Aww dammit. Yamina: O.O poor Naru-kun...u keep getting abused...I dare u 2 make out w/ Neji-san Sai: He has no dick. You can be sure of that. Yamina: Sakura-san,have u ever considered Sai-san? Sai: EW, not that ugly, you idiot! Ja ne! Naruto:…How can you feel bad for me and then make me do THAT?! Neji: there’s a REASON Naruto’s one of the few guys I haven’t slept with! Naruto: Don’t make me do this… Zakura: I’m doing MY dare, you have to too. Shikamaru: was that a complaint? Zakura: Of course not… Naruto: But he’s a MAN. Neji: but he’s UGLY! Naruto: I am not!! Neji: Yes you are! And I bet you suck at making out! Naruto: with a GUY I do! Neji: Oh sure that’s always the— Saku/Zaku: Just DO IT!! Neji: Fine! Naruto: What n— Neji/Naru make-out session!!

Neji: Just as I thought… Naruto: -gag, wheeze, retchNeji: -scowlSakura: Well, he’s cute but…a little too creepy for me. Kiba: Too much air-head not enough emo. Sakura: …shut up you. -Attempts to kidnap Kyuubi and take him into a closet!Oh, questions.. Manda-sama.. Oro-chan's snake.. What type of person would you like to eat? And Lee? I dare you to kiss Gaara, on the lips. If you don't, I'm stealing all of your green outfits and will burn them.. Oh! Also.. -Sends Loads of food, varying from Olive Garden food to McDonald's food..Kyuubi: -standing on the defeated fan- Yeah…not so much. Manda: A juicy one…heheheh… Orochimaru: -to Jiraiya- Aren’t you glad you’re old and crusty? Jiraiya: Yeah—HEY! Orochimaru: heeheehee. Kimimaro: And another dare to look forward to. Gaara: Shut UP. –pushesLee: We are going to have to do a LOT of making out, ne? –swaysGaara: -blushes-Y-yeah… Lee: -leaning in close- per-hic-haps we should sta-hic-rt now? Gaara: -furious blushing- ah…um… Itachi: We don’t have TIME for this shit! We’ve got to find the gir— Lee: Say no more! –knocks down another wall and it opens into a small corridor at the end of which is a wooden room and whatever trail they were following seems to lead there-

Kabuto: So…through the door then… Everyone: YAY!! FOOD!!!!! -walks out of the closet, reassembled, summons a black hole and returns homeKyuubi: As punishment for "trying" to kill me, im placing a non-removable collar on you that will turn you into a neon pink JubJub for an entire chapter.(furry, no armed, huge footed thing) Kisame: What up! Do you mind elaborating on those bruises you gave Itachi?(dont skimp on the details) Lee: I dare you to make out with Gaara for 7 minutes and no using Sakura or anything/one as an excuse not to. Til next time Fangirl10174 (now made immortal through the powers of Jashin, thanks Hidan!!) Kyuubi: What the— POOF Kyuubi: Chuuu…krooo…-glaresGirls: CUTE!! Kisame: While they try to open that surprisingly well-jammed door, sure. Itachi: NO!! Kisame: So, when I fuck someone, I like the whole damn world to know. So, I leave my mark. Kabuto: When you FUCK someone?! Itachi: -slumps in a cornerKisame: Yeah. Anyway, I especially get carried away with Ita-chan…he’s just so pretty and defiant yaknow? Kabuto: -trying not to collapse with laughterKisame: So anyway… Lee: FALL DOWN DOOR!! –kicks door and it shattersKimimaro: Well how about that?

Lee: I am tired now…-collapsesGaara: -catches1.Lee-Hey Lee, you know the longer it takes for you to go out with me the more I'm going to have my sister torture Gai-sensei!And trust me, my sister is pure evil! She's more evil and violent then Orochimaru, Itachi, Kisame, Kyubi and Zakura put together! -grins wickedly2.Deidara-HI! -waves- You're awsome! 3.Everyone-On a scale of 1 to 10, how insane do you think I am and why do you think this? BYE-BYE! -LeesLover7 Kiba: I don’t think your sis could be worse than my sis… Neji: Oh, everyone thinks their sisters are horrible. You just don’t have enough incest in your lives. Hinata: -blushDeidara: -waves back- Wanna play with some of my clay?…yeah… Zakura: Ok, I’m just gonna go ahead and answer this last one, no time for this ‘everyone’ stuff. You’re an eight. A seven on the just plain crazy scale, which is where most of our reviewers stand…and then an extra point for liking fuzzy-eyebrows. Sakura: He’s not that bad… Orochimaru: TEASE! TEASE! Sakura: Shut up! Lee: -in his sleep- Gai-sensei! Nooooo!! Gaara: -rolls eyes and holds him stillDM: ANYway, before you in the room is an elevated bed, lying on which you can see the small dark-haired girl from earlier. The rest of the room in a plain stone room with a high domed ceiling with rafters. Itachi: Let’s approach the fucking bed. DM: As you approach down from the rafters jump two lithe figures. They barely touch ground before springing up for attack.

Kabuto: What the f— -A staff hit Kabuto in the side and sends him skidding across the room and Itachi barely dodges a sword-swing from the other attackerDM: Now that you regain your ground you see that your foes are two young humanlooking people, a red-haired girl wielding a bo staff and a blond young man with a longsword. Itachi: Who the fuck do you people think you are?! Boy: We’re the ones keeping you form Elani, pal. Girl: If you want her you have to fight your way past us. Kabuto: What lame set-up is this? And are those rafters there JUST so they could jump from them?! DM: Shut up and fight you horrible over-analytical person! Boy: Listen to the man. –shoots a bolt of invisible energy at Itachi and Kimimaro and the fight beginsTeeheehee hahahaha poor Jaden I get to be w/ lucifel too! Woot! Neji: I've always wondered, how great would it be if you and Ino hooked up? I mean you're both sluts, right? Shikamaru: Sorry about the whole pineapple thing. Itachi-sama: um seeing as how I did give you the deed to the local Starbucks and all, could you do me a favor? I want my family dead but don't really feel like going to jail and getting anally raped, so could you...you know? -ceyx0991 aka The Son of the Morning Star Lucifel: Poor Jaden? This just means happy times with all three of us…and by the way, I’m the morning start he’s talking about. Sakura: Doesn’t that make your harem member your son too? Itachi: It’s JUST incest! Kabuto: We’re in the middle of a battle here!! Itachi: But yelling it in the middle of battle is what you DO with a catch phrase! Kabuto: WhatEVER.

-They fight with stunning splendor and in some cases (coughitachicough) with backstabbing cowardiceItachi: HEY! Kisame: I stab his back thank you… -AHEM, and after all is said and done the blond and red-head abruptly stop the fight and sit panting on the floorBoy: Very good. You guys have proven your determination. Not bad at all. Girl: elani, you can wake up now. Elani: -sits up quickly and bounds over to them- hey guys! These are my cousins Kia and Ryushi, I’m sorry they fought you, but they always insist on doing that. Ryushi: So, before you take her to the shifting room, why do you want to get home so badly? Itachi: So I can see my sweet little brother again…and f— Kabuto: -slaps hands over Ita’s mouth- And I want to be with the one I love. Kimimaro: …I did all of this for the one I love as well. Kabuto: -jealous glanceGaara: Well, I have a country to run so… Kimimaro: Oh, and I can say for the sleeping one that he did this for the thrill of the adventure, but he also has precious people he wants to see. Kia: Psh, clichéd, but good enough. Off you go. Be careful Elani. Elani: Don’t worry! –smilesKimimaro: But…wait, what about the other group? Kia: They were trying to abuses Elani’s powers. So I summoned up a golem and had them crushed. –smileItachi: Oook, well, nice meeting you bye. -They journey easily back the blue-glowy room-

Elani: You guys wait outside while I prepare myself in the room. Kabuto: Ok. Lee: -waking up- I have a headache… -As they wait though, danger lurks, and just moments before Elani is ready, a beast jumps from the shadowsElmo: I FOUND you!! –cacklesItachi: …It’s just a little puppet. Elmo: GRAAAAH!!! –morphs into a massive puppet beast with ginormous claws and teeth- Let’s play. Itachi: Eeep. Elani: -as the light in the room becomes a dense blue fog- I’m ready, hurry! Jump in! Itachi: Take it slow! We’ve got to hold him back as long as we can! Lee: Gaara, you go first! Gaara: What?! No! I can’t— Lee: You’re the one who can hold him back the least, you should go first! Besides…I don’t…wanna see you hurt. Gaara: -bluush- thank you Lee… Itachi: No time for blushing kid! Move! –pushes Gaara in-Gaara falls into the fog and then disappears just like the wisps of mist in the morningKabuto: Itachi! You’re next! Itachi: Yessir! –jumpsElmo: GRRR!! NOO!! STAY AND PLAAAAY!!! Kisame: Outta ma way! –makes a jump for the room but her trips over Elmo’s foot and smashes his face into the floor. He’s unconscious…no one notices-

Kabuto: Kimi, go!! Kimimaro: -shooting a magic missile- I’m not gonna leave you!! Kabuto: Lee and I are the strongest, it makes sense for us to go last! Kimimaro: Fine but I— Kabuto: GO! Kimimaro: -heads for the door, but just before entering, spares a look over his shoulder…Elmo just got a nat 20, and his claws are aimed right for Kabuto- NO!! Kimimaro flings himself in the way, pushing Kabuto back as he does so. He watches the one he sacrificed himself for the entire time that the claws go through him, reminding himself why this is so worth it. Kabuto: KIMIIIIII!!! -Before any thoughts of saving or healing come to mind, revenge springs up and Kabuto lunges at Elmo, just as Lee also plants his sword right through Elmo’s spine. Kabuto’s blade goes up through the jaw. Elmo shrinks back to normal size and fall down dead. Kabuto immediately rushes to Kimimaro’s side, holding him in his arms. All his healing spells are used and it’s too late for stabilization. Kimi’s only able to talk for dramatic effectKabuto: Kimimaro, you idiot…I might have survived that blow…why did you do that?! Kimimaro: -coughing up a fine mist blood- All this was for the one I love… Kabuto: And now you’ll never see him again! Why, Kimi, WHY?! Kimimaro: For being so…smart you’re certainly…dense, Kabuto. –he raises a hand weakly to touch Kabuto’s cheek- You are the one…I love. The one I have…always loved. Kabuto: Kimi…Kimi why didn’t you ever tell me? Kimimaro: Because it would have been pointless. Besides, I’m already…dead, Kabuto. This is simply a nobler death. Kabuto: But I don’t want you to die for ME, Kimimaro! Kimimaro: you always get mad at me, Kabuto.

Kabuto: I…I’m sorry…I just…I thought… Kimimaro: Shh, I know…I never held it against you, how else could I have kept loving you? Kabuto: You didn’t deserve this life…you didn’t deserve it… Kimimaro: But I’m glad…I got it. Goodbye my love. –and he kisses himLee: -who has been standing over them this whole time- You…you loved him too? Kabuto: No…no I never did. One more curse in his cursed life. That’s why I owe it to him…to do this. Lee: W-what are you going to do? Kabuto: There are resurrection spells in this world. I’m going to find one. Lee: But if you don’t leave now, you’ll never get out! Kabuto: There’ll be a way somehow. I’ll find it. And if not…the this is what I owe him. Tell Orochimaru-sama that for me. Lee: y-yes… Elani: Hurry, Lee. I can’t hold it. Lee: You are a very noble man Kabuto. Good bye. -they shake hands and then Lee leaves.-The first two people drop into the roomZakura: You guys made it! I’m surprised, impressed and sad. Itachi: Oh fuck you. Gaara: -softly- Come on Lee…hurry… Sakura: Is Kabu—I mean, where are the rest? Zakura: uh-huh… Itachi: They should be coming. Neji: Anyway, I don’t like slutty girls.

Kiba: yeah, he wants to GIVE the stds, not receive them…from a girl, anyway. Neji: you really need to shut the fuck up!! Shikamaru: s’cool. I’ve heard it all before. Itachi: Oh, yeah, after that whole fucking dungeon a good killing spree would be a nice warm-down. Tell me the time and place. hi there, to lucifel: i think you're totally awesome. i'm trying to start my own harem too! males and females are welcomed to !! oh yes, and huggles you xP to jiraiya: i know you don't get alot of fan mails but I TOTALLY THINK YOU ROCK! GO SUPER-PERVERT!! finally a question, to sakura: i heard rumours bout you being a hermaphrodite. how does that feel like? p.s: congrads to haku and zabuza. one more thing, gives everyone mentos and diet cokes. hint: they make a great combo MWAHAHAHA FROG PRINC3 Lucifel: So, our last question ever come from Frog Princ3. And can I be an honorary guest to your harem? -Everyone else is breaking out party stuffsJiraiya: Yosh! Fanmail to ME to end this thing! That’s right mothafuggas!! Lee: -drops into the roomGaara: LEE!! -For the next half-hour they’re making out, as all the accumulated dares are answered. Gaara starts it with a long, hard kiss, and the next thing you know teeth are nipping tongues are licking and hands are groping until they fall apart pantingLee: So…umm...Kabuto’s not coming back… Oro/Saku: WHAT?! Lee: Kimimaro sacrificed himself when Kabuto almost got killed so now Kabuto thinks it’s his duty to bring him back. Orochimaru: how cute! Sakura: How STUPID!! He’ll never come back now! I’ll never see him again!

Zakura: That’s right, bitch, you hide those feelings. Sakura: Grr. And I am NOT a hermaphrodite! You are all sick!!! Zakura: she just secretly wishes she was one. Sakura: I do NOT!! Zakura: You’d be the only one willing to screw you! Sakura: Whatever, at least this is the last I have to hear from you. Gaara: Kim died…again…? Lee: Ah, yeah…I’m sorry Gaara. Gaara: I shouldn’t have left…I could have done something…I know I could have. Lee: Don’t blame yourself. It was all Kimi’s own fault. Gaara: Excuse you?! Lee: I meant he did it on purpose! You know what I meant! Gaara: I need some space… Everybody puts mentos in diet coke to make celebratory explosions!! Lucifel: Thank you all for your wonderful during this endeavor! I love you all! And one more thing… Zaku/Lucy: LATE APRIL FOOLS BITCHES!!!! Lucifel: Hell yeah! That’s right; you don’t expect it two weeks later do ya?! BOOYAH!!! Everyone: What?! NOOOO!! Lucifel: Haha, yeah RIGHT, I’m pulling this bitch through for a year if it kills me! Sorry to trick you all! I couldn’t resist!! Sakura: That was…so mean…-thinks- maybe Kabuto can come back now!! Lucifel/Zakura: -do a little in-your-face happy danceLucifel: See you all later! For the next installment! HAH!! You’re all still STUCK!!

Ask Sakura 26 Lucifel: Hello my beautiful, easily tricked people! Zakura: -snickerLucifel: Anyway, for the time being obviously Kimimaro won’t be answering any more questions, -bows head in sad reverie- but also, I’m not going to be chronicling what Kabuto is up to either, so he can’t answer any questions. However! To get your Kabu/Kimi fix please check out my two newest fanfics ‘Foolish Games’ and ‘The Only One to Shed Tears’!! Much love, outtie fifty. –TeeheeSakura: -sits and mopes because Kabuto’s not thereGaara: Sits in a corner seething sad anger because Kimimaro’s dead…again…Kyuubi: -changes back from being a chubchub- I’m gonna kill so many people… Zakura: Down boy. Let’s get it going shall we? Gaara: -notices Kankuro- WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO KANKURO?! –runs over to him and starts applying first aid and stuff…- I’m gonna KILL whoever did this as soon as I’m done here! Manda: -urp- You try that… FooFoo ~ my question is…Why are you so dam pink!? It gets annoying... AvatEm ~ ...Itachi is a dam smexy guy, and your a... a... big fat... pink... THING! But... How come youre always so mean to Naruto? FooFoo ~ would u ask Orochimaru if he would go out with me if I turned into a guy? I would like that... well, cyaz I love you Orochimaru!! *Huggles!!*

Zakura: So yeah, this is our newest fan…she actually put herself through the hell of reading this story…damn. Sakura: My hair is naturally pink, I can’t help that— Shikamaru: -shuddersSakura: And my dress in RED so nyeh –sticks out tongue- I am not fat!! Itachi: But she doesn’t argue the fact that I AM sexy.

Deidara: Who would? Sakura: I…I don’t know! He’s annoying! Naruto: Hey… Hinata: I-uh…I don’t think you’re annoying Naruto-kun… Naruto: thanks Hinata! –smileHinata: -faintOrochimaru: It would all depend on how sexy you are and how you feel about polygamy…for me, not you. Jiraiya: So your little toys aren’t allowed to have other lovers? Orochimaru: Of course not! They might loose loyalty to me! Sasori: I think the theme should be...Art. A.H.S: I can live with that...But what kind? Sasori: Simple...Puppets. A.H.S: Oh hell no!! I told you no puppets!! Sasori: Then what do you suggest? A.H.S: I want Dark colors...It should be sticking to the Akatsuki theme my Dolly-chan... Sasori: I chose her because she likes to change things up and appreciates my idea of art Deidara...Plus I don't like all that clay getting in my hair. A.H.S: -Nods- Which is why -pushes Sasori into the room- Your helping Zaku-chan and Haku plan the wedding. Orochimaru...-Gets stars in her eyes- I want you to be my maid of honor!! ...Jiraya, if you give me the whole Icha Icha series for free, I'll not only model for you but help create some spinal tapping inspiration!! Finally the biggest question of all: Can we have the wedding there?!

Deidara: …but…but…Sasori-riiin… Sasori: yes? Deidara: -pig puppy eyes- You…you love me yeah? Sasori: nnnnno. Was I supposed to? Deidara: Y-yeah… Sasori: Oh…sorry. Deidara: -criesSasori: So…we agreed on puppets. Orochimaru: Sounds like fun!

Haku: Umm…It looks to me like A.H.S. didn’t agree to— Sasori: -puts hand over Haku’s mouth- We agreed on puppets. Trust me. Orochimaru: EEEE!! I’ll TOTALLY be your maid of honor! Sasori: …oh god… Jiraiya: DEAL! I’ll give that to you at the wedding! Sasori: Wait a minute…A.H.S. can’t do that…I’m getting married to her…she can’t seduce Jiraiya!! Deidara: You see?! She’s not loyal! She’s not WORTHY!! Sasori: You weren’t loyal… Deidara: YES I WAS!! Neji: What about me?! Zakura: You don’t count you whore. Sasori: -addressing Dei and ignoring the other two- Really? My bad… Deidara: Weren’t you?! Sasori: Hell no. I thought we were ALL getting it on with Itachi behind closed doors… Orochimaru: -to Itachi- slut. Itachi: Whatever…I just got to bone some of the sexiest men alive is how I see it… Deidara: the only time I was with Itachi was during that threesome…yeah!! Sasori: Well, I didn’t know you were so devoted. Sorry. Deidara: -sits rejected in a cornerSasori: Let’s get to planning shall we? I’m only in this marriage so I can get a really strong puppet by killing my wife after I get all her trust so let’s make this fast, ne? Haku: -horrorOrochimaru: …Did you mean to say that one bit out loud?

Sasori: What one bit? Orochimaru: About killing your wife later… Sasori: Oh shit...no… Zakura: Yeah you can have the wedding here. I’ll supply the weapons so you can kill his ass for trying to play you. two cloaked figures suddenly appear in the dark room c.f 1: Naruto are you somehow related to yondaime cause you two look uncannily alike c.f 2: this question is still for Naruto. now that Kyuubi is out of you, does that mean that you no longer have whiskers? that'll be a shame cause you look mighty fine with them. light turns on and FROG PRINC3 could be seen walking in with only a towel wrapped around his waist F.P: what the...huginn! muninn! what the hell are you two doing with my computer? i leave to take a shower for one minute and…!! -turns to com- oh, and for you lucifel, anything -winkF.P proceeds to chase twins out of his room later, huginn, muninn and FROG PRINC3

Naruto: I don’t think so…but that’d be AWESOME!! Jiraiya: -.- so very dense… Naruto: huh? Jiraiya: Nothing. Naruto: I don’t have whiskers! What are you talking about? Kiba: Hey Naruto, are your feet wet? Naruto: No…why…? Kiba: Because you’re standing in denial! Get it? The nile, denial? Shino: …god I must be crazy. Zaku/Lucy: YAY! Half-naked fans!! Lee: YOSH! Of course I will try to keep up with your youth! I will train harder then ever before! I shall meet you at the Konoha Monument after you get out, and we shall have a race around Konoha on our hands 100 times to see if I am ready for your current level of training! YOSH! May the flames of youth break through the darkness of age, and show it's brightness to all! Sakura: Don't worry, I'm sure that Kabuto will be fine...even though he's a cleric...and he's all alone...On second thought...I'll try to find something to help him out...I'll get back to you on this, okay? Stay calm until then! Naruto: Besides Sakura, who else do you like, and who do you think is the prettiest girl in Konoha? *Throws food to everyone, inside, and outside the room*

Lucifel: …he’s starting to be so much like Lee it’s terrifying. Saku/Zaku: He’s YOUR husband.

Lucifel: …yeah…oh well, it’s cute. Lee: I can not wait for that day! Train well until then! Sakura: I’m FINE without Kabuto! Relieve even! OK?! Naruto: Oh…well…probably…well, sexy-wise it’s have to be Kurenai-sensei— Kurenai: HEY! Naruto: But for being pretty …that’s different. Hinata I guess. Hinata: -double faintEveryone: YAY FOOD!! 1. Everyone-Before my actual questions, I need to say something important... -clears throat- In your faces! -laughs loudly2.Gaara-BACK OFF! LEE IS MINE! -glomps Lee3.Luciful-You're so evil...want to my evilness club? Great evil minds think alike... -LeesLover7

Zakura: Oh I love it when even the fans rub it in their faces…it’s so wonderfully cruel. Gaara: -while wrapping a bandage around Kankuro’s arm- fuck you, girly. Sakura, you’re a medic ninja! Why aren’t you helping me?! Sakura: But…he’s got snake spit all over him… Gaara: Sakuraaa –glaresSakura: Ok! Ok! Geez… Lee: -gets knocked over by glompage.Lucifel: If by club you mean kinky sexy ground then YES!! I mixed the DNA of everyone in the series to create the ultimate ninja and I have an army of them. I'd break you but what fun what that be? Sasuke: I'm alive again Why did you not commit suicide Sasuke: I listened to that Good Charlotte song Hold On -throws Anakin Skywalker into roomSakura: Have sex with Neji Orochimaru: Go fuck yourself

Orochimaru: YAY! He’s alive!! Itachi: Aww…and still so emo.

Zakura: that song is GAY. Sakura: I liked it… Zakura: and everytime you listened to it I tried to kill myself… Anakin Skywalker: The world…is so…unfair. I am…so angry. Jiraiya: What’s with the pauses? Is this Anakin or Captain Kirk?! Zakura: Does it matter? Niether of them an act… Anakin: Pe…I loved her. So much. Why did she have to die? Kiba: Dude. NO ONE believed the connection there. The ten-year-old was more believable that you! Anakin: How dare you? I loved her! I’m ANGRY! Everyone: …-sighSasori: -kills him and makes him into a puppetKurenai: You know…his face in more animated NOW that it ever was in the movies… Zakura: And since sex isn’t allowed without consent on both sides (thanks to stupid Lucifel…) sex translates to SEXYSTEAMYMAKEOUTS!! Sakura: Oh no… Neji: God dammit, I’m going to have be the aggressor aren’t I? Sakura: Well YOU’RE the guy! Neji: Ugh…this is why I prefer men. –makes out with Sakura until they break a sweat, considered that to satisfy as ‘steamy’ and then pulls awayZakura: how was it kids? Sakura: Gay. Neji: Ugh…girls are so…not rough. Orochimaru: If I could I would. Jiraiya: You creepy narcissist.

Orochimaru: -smileNeji: I dare you to strip you sexy man-whore you! What got you into having so much sex? Hinata: When Neji's done you have to do the same thing. Gaara: Please don't kill catnipped! she's one of the few people that draw's utterly sexy GaaLee here let me show you! *gives him an album of GaaLee pic, sexy and fluffy alike* Oh and if you need any help with getting you-know-who just give me a call k?

Kurenai: Oh come on, stripping is a little— Neji: -jumps onto a table and starts doing a little strip-dance, club lights and bow-chickbow-wow type music spontaneously come onKurenai: oh god…Oh GOD why are you wearing a thong?! Itachi: I’m not complaining…he’s cute…-puts dollars in thong-strapOrochimaru: Ya-yeah! -Neji finishes his strip and then casually starts to put his clothes back on but Orochimaru grabs and pulls him into the frap room to do dirty things to his cute little butt.Itachi: Dammit, I was gonna do that. Hinata: Kya! I can’t strip!! Zakura: Sure you can. Sakura: We can’t make her… Lucifel: Yes we CAN!! Kiba: Just the top layer! Shin/Kure: -SMACKKiba: OW! What?! Shino: -rolls eyesKurenai: You’re supposed to be one of the people PROTCTING her!! Kiba: I’m sorry!! But she’s cute!! Kurenai: For shame… Hinata: I…I can’t…

Itachi: Come on! You’ve still got the bikini on underneath right?! Hinata: Yeah well… Itachi: Let’s go girly! –puts her up on the tableHinata: -as quickly as possible take off her shirt and pants and then pulls them back on equally fast. She trips while trying to pull her pants up though and falls into Zakura arms.Zakura: -blush/nosebleedKurenai; God you’re all so perverted –takes Hinata and helps her put clothes back onHinata: -blushblushblushKurenai: You shouldn’t have to put up with this… Deidara: She’s got a nicer body than I’d have imagined. Zakura: me too…and I imagined hard… Gaara: -takes album and ignores Kankuro for a few moments to peruse it…when his nose starts bleeding he goes back to his near-dying brotherLucifel: And um, if any of her stuff is on the netz please send me a link!! To Orochimaru-sama I give a purple snake plushie. Like in this fic I read where you an' the sannin were in Target! 'njoy! To Kabuto I give a map of the D&D world's towns and mountains and etc. (It looks suspiciously like Pokemon Kanto) Oh and I give you all a brown potion (not one each just one) That you can argue over or whatever.

Orochimaru: YAYAYAYAYY!! –huggles plushieManda: That’s undignified…to have a toy made in my image… Orochimaru: It’s SO CUTE!!! Manda: Very…very undignified. Kyuubi: at least you weren’t turned into a chubchub…-brushes a pink feather off his sleeve.DM: Coolio, now I don’t have to make a whole world up. I’ll get it to Kabuto, Lucifel: thanks love. Orochimaru: I want it!!

Jiraiya: Will you drink it?!? Orochimaru: Maybe…probably not…I just want it. Haku: GIVE IT TO ME!! –pouncesZabuza: gah! –pounces on HakuHaku: NO! What are you doing Zabuza?! Zabuza: now, now just think about this haku… Haku: you want me to suffer through cramps EVERY MONTH just so you can sleep with a girl?! Zabuza: Well…I… Haku: you’re a jerk! –stalks offOrochimaru: so…can I have the potion? Zakura: Nope, I’ll be keeping this. –pockets potion- I’m getting ideas…-eyes HinataKurenai: -glaresZakura: Kurenai!! Just the eye I want to catch…gimme your red potion. Kurenai: Eh, NO. Zakura: C’mooooon. There must be something I can do!! Kurenai: Stop trying to get in mine and hinata’s pants… Zakura: …something else? Kurenai: Too bad. Zakura: Oh fiiine…-waits for Kurenai to look away and puts a decoy bottle filled with coolaid in place of Kurenai’s red potion- Ya-yeah. ANYWAYS! Just wanted to pop in and tell you all who's coming to Italy. Besides Sasu-chan that is. *holds out fancy envelope* AND THE WINNER IS... ... KYUUBI! There are conditions, sadly. You have to stay dog-sized: On the plane, in the hotel and when in certain places like museums, galleries, churches,- that sorta stuff.

Sincerely, Kryah

Kyuubi: YES!! YES!! IN YOUR FACES!! ITALY’S GOING DOWN!! Zakura: But you have to stay in the shape of a puppy… Kyuubi: Only when I’m indoors. –Evil smirkSakura: Oh god…people of Italy…run/ Kyuubi: I hope they don’t keep any priceless works of art in any easily-smashed buildings. I’m off, my peeps. Ciao. –disappearsLucifel: -slips Kryah a collar to be used to control Kyuubi while on the trip- enjoy, kiddo. Itachi-sama, as for the mass-murder,*hands Ita-sama an envolope* just not the FF family, my other family. Zakura: since you want to get into kurenai's pants and all, why don't you just henge into Gai and take advantage? Hinata: do you want to the Harem, too? We have great bathtubs! Gaara: a nice comfy bed. Hinata: Anything you want that Lucifel will allow

Itachi: -takes envelope- Alrighty. Zakura: Because I have more dignity than to turn into someone in a green unitard. Kurenai: And it wouldn’t do anything anyway… Kiba: Well at least she didn’t fall for his looks… Hinata: N-no…thanks anyway… Zakura: That’s right! Hinata belongs to no one’s harem but mine!! Hinata: -blush- W-what? Zakura: Nothing… Gaara: -puts Kankuro on the bed now that he’s all healed up and then, because I’m assuming the bed is big enough, he crawls in next to him and goes to sleep sadlyHinata: Oh well…uh…I…-mumblesZakura: What is it sweetie? Hinata: I was going to sleep when I got pulled here so I don’t have…a...uh…well… Kiba: huh? What does going to sleep have to do with anything?

Hinata: I haven’t had a bra…-blushblushblushZakura: I don’t know if I can allow you to get one… -plugs bleeding noseHinata: Hwa?! Sakura: No, Hinata, you can have one. Zakura: So long as it’s cute… Gives the chakra to... Shino! He outbid you all by not being annoying. Shino: I gave you a nice gift, so I get to give you a dare. I dare you to... empty your pockets. I'm curious as to what's inside. Kiba: If you had the chance to learn Dog Summoning from Kakashi, would you take it?

Shino: Oh…ok…not that I need it. Umm…can I give it back and not have to empty my pockets? –Glances at KurenaiZakura: Nope, show ‘em. Shino: -sighs and starts pulling things out of pocketsInventory: Lint Two condoms Three pieces of gum Some Pot A Lighter A receipt for ramen More pot A pocket watch His Wallet which holds an ID, five dollars, lint and some change More Lint A LOT more pot. Papers for rolling cigs/ts And a small bag of Pot And some more lint Kurenai: My God Shino how much do you smoke?! Kiba: -laughing- What’s more that lint is probably hemp. Shino: It’s not that I smoke that much…I just keep it various places so hopefully no one will ever find all of it. Kurenai: My god…I’m confisticating this!

Shino: what?! How will I survive this place without getting high?! Orochimaru: By having an orgy!! Jiraiya: Keep hoping Oro… Orochimaru: I will. :) Kiba: Cha, YEAH I would!! I mean, Akamaru will always be my number one dawg, but that’s be awesome! Shino: did you just dawg? Kiba: Yeah. Shino: god I need a t…Kurenaiii… Kurenai: No. Shika: r u EVER gonna stop denying about u nd ino?? Gaara: u ever heard of daniella konstantine, u nd her make SUCH a cute couple, ur both psychotic ND a family member tried to kill u both. Hinata: ur sister hanabi says, once u get out, she'll kill u nd becum hieress, how do u feel?

Shikamaru: I almost WISH Ino and I had something going on… Sakura: What?! WHY?! Shikamaru: Oh…it’s nothing…-mumbles- anything’s better than what I’ve got… Sakura: …ooook…anyway… Gaara: I think you shove this poser and shove her up your ass. Lee: …Oh Gaara…-sits next to himHinata: Not too different really…that’s pretty normal. Naruto: 0.0 Lee: -hugs GaaraLucifel: Wow, that was a short one. I guess cuz the alerts are messed up right now. Anyway, please check out the afore-mentioned fics. Leave a review and I’ll love you forever!! Sasori: All right. All the plans are made. The wedding can commence.

Deidara: NOOOO…yeah… Lucifel: To A.H.S.: this is gonna happen between chappies, so make your next review along the timeline of the day after the nuptial.

Ask Sakura 27 Lucifel: Hello –smileZakura: ?? What’re you smiling about? Sakura: -makes sure she’s still in one pieceLucifel: Nothing. –smilesNaruto: I’m scared…. Luvifel: What on earth would you be scared about? –smileLee: Hold me Kurenai-sensei! Kurenai: -blocks Lee’s attempt at glomping- No, who are you four talking to? Zakura: Lucifel…you can tell me…what are you gonna do? Lucifel: Well… Zaku/Saku/Naru/Lee: yes? Lucifel: This Chapter… ZSNL: Yesss? Lucifel: Will be… ZSNL: YES?!!? Lucifel: Rated… Z(getting excited)SNL: -gasp- YES?! Lucifel: ‘G’!!!!!!!!! Zakura: What the funnybunny?

Kiba: -snicker- She said funnybunny… Zakura: I meant to say funnybunny…what the funnybunny, that’s not...GRAH!! Sakura: Uh…I think Lucifel meant what she said… Zakura: Are you funnybunnying me?! Sakura: this would be a lot less ridiculous if you would stop TRYING to say bad words… Zakura: I am NOT gonna run MY story under the premise of ‘RATED FUNNYBUNNYING ‘G’!!” Lucifel: -lightning crackling behind me- Oh yes you are Zaku…unless you wanna go back into Sakura… Zakura: …I’ll be good. Lucifel: S’right bubblegum. –Thinks- awww man, that’s right I can’t curse either… Kurenai: this is a nice change… Deidara: WHY AM I IN SWEAT-CLOTHES?! Sakura: That outfit you had before? NOT rated G…. Deidara: Why does Kurenai get to keep her miniskirt then? Zakura: Cuz now she has jeans on with it… Kurenai: What do you know…-looks at jeansSakura: Questions please! Zakura: Stop acting like you own this dingdong place…aww, funnybunny… Kakuzu: -Holds his ear up to the doors.- How long can they keep this shit up?! I need that tape!! -Blinks as a loud scream echoes off the walls. Five minutes later, she walks out- I think Sasori won't be waking up anytime soon. Hidan: -Blinks- Oh my...GOD! You funyybunnied him to death! Can I be next!?! A.H.S: Anyhow...-Waves to every one- Hello all!! Zaku-chan and Haku!! Thank you guys so much! That was the best wedding ever...! For Orochimaru!: I give you the my first novel of my series of yummy!! -Hands him a black and read book.Jiraiya! : -hands him a copy of the tape Kakuzu made- There's your inspiration...Thanks for the series!! Shino!: A brand new bong! -Blinks hearing a groan in her room followed by a hand sliding out and dragging her back in- Eep! Gotta go! Sasori is waiting...You know how he hates waiting!! Till next we meet! -Akasuna no Morana!

Sasori: Hey guys. Itachi: dude…what’re you back for? Sasori: Uh…turning her into a puppet didn’t quite work out… –sweat dropDeidara: So you funnybunnied her until you ed out then…yeah?! Sasori: -shrugs- I though it’d give me an advantage when the time came…now she’s addicted to it…I’ve gotta hide… -hides in frap/pool room (Danie and Anjiru, just ignore him)Deidara: FINE! Run away then! I HICCUP YOU…yeah!! Kiba: We can’t even say ‘HATE’?! Sakura: Not TO someone, that’s mean. Shino: must…get…high… Sakura: By climbing a building of course… Itachi: You’re enjoying this way too much… Sakura: Teehee… Haku: You’re welcome about the wedding! Zabuza: urrrg…-still in recuperation mode after another weddingOrochimaru: Yay! Yummy! Jiraiya: Yummy? I wanna read! Orochimaru: You do? Jiraiya: Wait…why… Zakura: Use to be spelled Y-A-O-I… Sakura: Hey! That’s not very— Zakura: Well you can’t have a ‘rated G’ Episode without a spelling section!! Sakura: Oh…good point…

Zakura: Besides, kids can’t read… Jiraiya: -scurried off to watch tape- …WHY IS THIS SO FUNNYBUNNYING EDUCATIONAL?! Zakura: It got mixed up with a Sesame Street tape… Jiraiya: Nooo… Shino: YES! A BONG! –Pulls gong out of package- What the funnybunny? Sakura: it’s a g-rated bong. Shino: I hate this place with every thing I am… Hello everyone, 'tis I, THE BIGGEST KABUTO FANGIRL EVER! I have gifts of affection for everyone. -gives everyone in the room a big hug, except for my 3 faves, Oreo, Kabu-kun, and Kimi (who's dead) kissesHehehehehe... Oh right, Umm Itachi, what are you going to do with a deed to Starbucks if you can't even get out of the room? Ah well, Ja Ne, Rose

Orochimaru: Aww, too bad Kabuto’s not here. -Somewhere, Kabuto is sneezing violently and running away from a rose bushKiba: hah! She kissed a dead guy! Sakura: …eww…. Orochimaru: so? Jiraiya: I’m not gonna think about that one… Itachi: My Starbucks delivers… Zakura: No it doesn’t. Itachi: -depressed-BIG HUG!!Kiba: oh, gosh, I’m gonna barf… Gift TIME Hinata: I give you the movie RENT, a plasma tv, and a DVD player just for you. Just because you're cute! Zakura: To you I give the Miyazaki boxset, and your own portable DVD player. Because even a figment of a rabid fangirls imagination should see the awesomeness of Hayao Miyazaki Question Time Shikamaru: Even though you just publicly denied having a relationship with Ino, is there any truth to the rumors that you're playing off the affections of not only Temari and Tayuya but Kin too?

Shino: When did you start smoking pompoms? My gosh that was so random!

BREAK IT DOWN NOW!!! Bum chika bum bum chick wocka bam HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEYX0991!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Everyone (except Kiba who is doing beat boxing in the background-: Happy birthday to you (bumbumbum) Happy birthday to youuu (bowchickabow) Happy birthday dear CEYXXXXXXXXXX (dududududududu) ITS JUST INSECTS!! Itachi: Insects? Sakura: right, because the other word is SO for kids… Lucifel: Ceyx loves that phrase, it makes me happy. Also, Ceyx, I hope you find today’s theme funny to make it a double b-day present k? Luv ya son/boyfriend. Sakura: He’s your boyfriend? Lucifel: …In a kiddie world where harems don’t exist, yes. Sakura: Does Jaden know? Lucifel: He’s my husband. Sakura: Anyway…his questions… Hinata: Kyee!! –runs to go watch movieZakura: n-ne, Hinata, wanna watch some movies together? Hinata: Ok! Zakura: -blushSakura: -smack ZakuZakura: HEY! WHAT THE FUNNYBUNNY!? Sakura: Longing for another girl is not G-rated. Zakura: Oh funnybunny you –goes to watch movies with HinataShikamaru: …no, and if I am I don’t mean to. Temari’s not interested in boys right?

Sakura: Actually, she is. But she’s friends with girls too, y’know? –nudgeShikamaru: Oh…weird…anyway, I don’t even like Tayuya or Kin. Kiba: Awww, you’re so mean. Shikamaru: Isn’t Tayuya dead anyway? Kiba: …um yes, and so are Sasori, Zabuza and Haku. Shikamaru: …oh yeah… Shino: Since I was twelve I guess… Kiba: -nods- that was about when he started getting weird… Shino: I was always weird. Kiba: I guess that’s true. Even though Gaara already healed kankuro I think these orange potions might come in handy. -gives room five orange potionne Hinata, here is an extra bra and extra panties (they are cute and matching, but are modest) Kurenai, I am giving you a bag of pompoms and a pack of mini-cigars, you have to give one to Shino. and a chocolate bar for making you do this. Love you all! 'specially Orochimaru-sama!

Gaara: -takes potions and gives one to KankuroKankuro: -wakes up- Wh…what happened? Gaara: Doesn’t matter. Get some rest. Kankuro: -nods and goes back to sleep, cuddling with GaaraItachi: Aww, well, it’s just insects. Sakura: BROTHERLY LOVE!! IT’S BROTHERLY LOVE!! Itachi: Bullsugar. Hinata; oh! Thank you… -blushZakura: -blushSakura: gah! You can’t see a bra in a rated-G episode! Gosh! Kurenai: This better be a dingdong good chocolate bar…

Shino: pleasepleaseplease… Kurenai: Fine, pompoms is slightly healthier so here. –shoves a small bag at himSakura: But if you try using it before this chapters you’ll really be using pompoms… Shino: Dingdong it. Zakura: How come Cigars are ok, but you can’t say the real word for ‘mini-cigars’? Sakura: Because every kid sees the big bosses and stuff smoking cigars. They’re not as much of a bad influence. Zakura: …that’s bullsugar. Orochimaru: She especially loves me, teehee. –huggles snake plushieLucifiel: Don't worry, love, I won't turn into Lee, he's just inspring, his determination and all. Both he and Naruto inspire me really, since both of them never give up and all... by training with Lee and Gai, I'll have endles stamina, since I have near endless stamina now. *Wink* Zakura: I was looking through the records of all the tortures in this room that I write down, in case Lucifiel-chan ever wishes to go back and read them all, And during the dare of Naruto being quiet, and the bet, where you mentioned that you'd give him endless ramen if he stayed quiet, and he'd give you 'stimulation' if he said anything, he woke up after being uncouncious once, to yell "RAMEN! Where? Where!?!", so...Doesn't he owe you something, or had he already taken the potion by then? ((Sorry, Naruto!)) Everyone Else: Hehehe...I've been considering whether or not I would start up my -own- room of torture when Lucifiel-chan is done with you. And I have good news, and bad news. The Good news is that I -won't- be starting up my own room of Pure Questions. The -bad- news is that I'm going to start up a Satelite. meaning you'll -still- have to answer questions. P.S. *Tosses in Voldemort, just to see him fry*

Lucifel: Yay! Endless stamina! We can…play…all day!! Lee: Yosh! I will train you well! Naruto: Actually…you owe me ramen, bubblegum. Zakura: Dingdong it, fine. Here’s a bowl. Naruto: YAAAAAAY! –starts eatingZakura: this stinks… Sakura: HEY! You can do that! That’s horrible! Shino: …I’m gonna need a LOT more pompoms… Kiba/Naru: So long as there’s food there it’s cool…

Voldemort: Hello…I am back after sixteen years…hehehe… Phone conveniently on the wall: RING! RING! Sakura: -picks up- Moshi Moshi? Oh, uh-huh…no problem…-hands phone to V- S’for you. Voldemort: -taking phone- Hello? Kyuubi (on other end of the phone): MOTHERFUCKER!! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU TALK ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT HOW LONG YOU WERE AT LOW POWER!! AT LEAST YOU WEREN’T INSIDE A FUCKING DUMBSHIT OF A ASS GIVING HIM POWER EVEN WHEN YOU HATED HIS FUCKING GUTS!! IF I WAS THERE I WOULD KICK YOUR ASS SO HARD YOU NEVER FUCKING WALK AGAIN! YOU BETTER GET SOME FUCKING RESPECT FOR YOURSELF AND STOP FLIPPING THAT LITTLE GIRLY WAND AROUND! FOR FUCKSAKE!! –hangs upVoldemort: -starts cryingSakura: …I totally forgot Italy was exempt to the whole G-rated thing… Kurenai: JUST Italy? Sakura: Yup. Voldemort: -sobsOrochimaru: And what the funnybunny is your problem? Voldemort: The fox-man was mean to me… Orochimaru: Oh really? Would you like me to make you feel better? Voldemort: -nod, nodOrochimaru: -shoves Voldemort down Manda’s throat- TAKE THIS POSER!! Manda: URG! ICK! IDONWANTIT!! Sakura: THIS IS NOT KID-FIRNEDLY!! Orochimaru: Girly, people on kid shows get swallowed by snakes all the time. It’s the best non-graphic death EVER, Sakura: …whatever…

Orochimaru: Plus it’s beautifully ironic to shove Voldy down a snake’s throat… Anyways, Sasori wtf, you aren't going to seriously leave Dei-Dei-Chan are you? Dei-Dei-Chan, is there any chance you and lil Naru-Chan are related coz ur both really Kawaii! and blond and effeminate. Gaara, my poor cute psycho, im trying to be ive but ne1 with an interest in Gai should be locked in a loony bin, you and lee, its jst not working, so to get this over and done with, I dare you to have a 1 hr! makeout session with Naru-Chan! Oh and A.H.S. (sp.?) I saved all the Akatsuki you killed, I'm buying the Akatsuki in a weeks time nyah :P Itachi can you ‘take care of’ my dad he lives at this address -gives an envelope-? Kisses Lucifel June x

Sasori: -from hiding place- I was never WITH him! Deidara: -sobsNaruto: We’re not related!...AND I AM NOT EFFEMINATE!! Sakura: Do you even know what that means? Naruto: dumb? Sakura: sure. May as well… Gaara: But I’ve got to take care of my brother… Zakura: in kiddie-, a make-out session is a kiss on each cheek. Naruto: Aww man… -Gaara kisses him, he kisses Gaara all is cute and fluffyItachi: -takes envelope- yay! I’m going to have so much to do when I get out of here! :3 Deidara: I’ll your akatsuki, yeah! Orochimaru: Me too! Itachi: I’ll be too busy… Lee: what are they talking about anyway, Gaara? Do they think we shouldn’t be friends? Gaara: -stares- not now Lee… Manda: -finally spits Voldemort out and he crashes through the window and falls on Sasame who was trying to pull Tenten out from under Mewtwo…down with pointless female characters!!!to deidara - i saw this crack pairing drawing in deviantart of u nd hanabi...

itachi - man ur even more messed up than my nutjob of a step bro hu's currently in a nut house as we speak...U DESTROYED THE EFFING CLAN COS THEY WDN'T LET U PAINT UR NAILS! how do u live with urself?? hinata - would u ever enjoy activating the cursed seal on either Neji, Hizashi or hanabi??

Deidara: Of me and who? Hinata: Hanabi…for shame…-covers face in horrorDeidara: but I don’t like girls…yeah… Neji: You know…you didn’t just play with me, Dei-kun. You also played with Oro and Itachi…you itted to that… Deidara: No I didn’t…yeah… Orochimaru: I actually that quite clearly… –smileNeji: Deidara, it it. You’re a slumber-party. Deidara: No…I am loyal to Sasori…always loyal…yeah… Itachi: He’s in denial, let hi be. He really loves Sassy, it’s hard for him. Deidara: -rocking in fetal positionItachi: And I live with myself with…A lot of…well…jack-hammering…with my brother…it’s therapeutic. Sakura: Yeah you own a construction company together ne? Itachi: Xactly. Hinata: NONE! I would never! Neji: You sicko! Kiba: And yet… Neji: I can think of a million people I’d activate it on, yeah. Hinata: NEJI-KUN!! Neji: WHAT?! Shino doesn't want the chakra? Hm... I can't let Kyuubi or worse, Zakura have it... YOU'LL HAVE TO TAKE IT BY FORCE! (Shoves it all under Sakura) You'll have to take it from SAKURA by force! (There, that shouldn't be too hard.)

Kurenai: Is your eye color kekkai genkai-related? Please say no, Konoha needs more kekkai genkai that aren't eye-based.

Shino: Why would I want it? It’s probably just hurt my bugs… Sakura: ACK! GET AWAY! Deidara: -gets it all first- SASORI WILL HAVE TO LOVE ME NOW!! Sasori: no I won’t… Deidara: -ignores and gulps downEveryone: =O Deidara: MUWAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHA…I look so bad-aviary. Indeed, he in now furry. Tail, ears, red fur…pretty awesome, for real. Deidara: Sasoriii –runs into room to get himKurenai: No, it’s just natural. Naruto: and creepy. Kurenai: -skillet to the head!!*giggles and huggles Kyuu-kun* Hii! Um, HYPOTHETICALLY, let’s say that you had an emo-y muse. Following that, let’s say that said muse is being a total bitch and not giving you any guidance. Ya know what? Screw it. How do I get Sasuke to give me some damn attention? Sincerely, Kryah From Kyuubi: :p suckas…

Itachi: I could tell you how to get his attention…but it’d have to be n the next chapter. It involves and chain and leather though. Orochimaru: -smilesZakura: Yeah, yeah, Kyuubi live it up! We’ll get you when you return… Kiba: Dude, here’s the address of the best dog-trainer around, take Sasuke there. –gives Kryah addressOrochimaru: But I’m Sasuke’s only trainer… Sakura: Ewww… Hinata: can i hug you?(gives cookie)

Orochi-sama: I know you've had ablums with sasuke in dresses or with cat ears, but have you had an album which sasuke has Both!?!? if not here (hands you album) Gaara: Here (hands cookie) you look like you need it. Lee: weren't you suppost to be emo for a chapter?(gives cookie) Lucifel: are only men allowed to the “friendly circle”. if so can i be your loyal servent? Mini Death

Hinata: -hugs- teehee… Orochimaru: I…I…guh…meh…I love you so much…-runs off with albumItachi: come here! Lemme see! Gaara: -eats cookieLee: gasp! You’re right! …why did you bring it up?! –gives Gaara his cookieGaara: -eats Lee’s cookieLucifel: -smacks self- sorry! Next chapter I promise! And no, women are allowed to. You want in? Sakura: ahem 1.Lee-You'll be glad to know I've given up on you. I'm into girls now. The bad news is I sold Gai-sensei to my friend. Her name is Somebody You Don't Know. She's a Lee fangirl... 2.Zakura-Want to go out with me? Most people say I'm pretty Take a look. -gives photo3.Luciful-Yes, I do mean what you said -hands list-JadeBird(formally LeesLover7)

Lee: No! I would have bought him from you! Why must you be so cruel?! –dramatic poseGaara: -thinks- that’s an interesting pose –snickerLucifel: -signs up- YAYAYAY!! Zakura: Well…ah…I’ve kinda got my eye on someone else…-glances at hinata while Hina cries at Princess MonokeSakura: this isn’t staying very G… Lucifel: Hey so long as the language is clean, there’s no blood, Zaku/Jira: so that’s why I haven’t gotten any nosebleeds… Lucifel: and no out-right sexuality. That’s G enough for me. Ita/Oro: ME TOO!!

for the remainder of the chapter, Kurenai must umm...umm... BREAKDANCE! Rock Lee must kiss umm... ZABUZA! And...Itachi must umm...Skip-to-his-loo! Jiraiya must only wear dresses! And then...Gaara must wear a ...a...NOTHING!

Kurenai: What?! I’m not gonna dance! Zakura: Them’s the rules. Sakura: At least you’re wearing pants now. Kurenai: this is stupid. I’m not doing it. Zakura: Kurenaiii… Kurenai: you asked for it. -KURENAI BREAKS IT DOWN!!Kiba: Damn! I didn’t know she could do that! Hinata: whoa… Shino: =O Haku: If you— Lee: -kisses ZabuzaZabuza: -twitchHaku: -twitch- Well FINE! If that boy if good enough for you why should I bother?! Zabuza: What are you talking about!? Haku: And here I though there was a problem because you wanted me to stay a girl! Little did I know— Zabuza: Haku. Haku: Yes? Zabuza: I love you. No matter what gender. More than anything. Haku: Oh…-blush- ok. –hugsItachi: -skips to the bathroom- -comes back- Man, Deidara is doing some weird sugarbowl stuff in there with Sasori…

Jiraiya: Isn’t cross-dressing NOT G? Sakura: Um, hi? Bugs Bunny? In the dress, old man. Jiraiya: noo… Kurenai: -does the worm-Gaara’s clothes disappearLee: -blushGaara: EEP! –hides under the coversKankuro: -smilesGaara: uh…dingdong it. Kurenai: -spins upside downdare: Zakura, Sakura and Kurenai play jump rope with Orochi's tongue and as reward, i give Zakura the address to an Amazonian tribe(entire civilization of lesbians). I give Kurenaia 6 foot tall bunny made out of chocolate. I give Orochi a pic of the captain, Kaeru who is the smexiest! Nothing for sakura... Muninn: you want in the capt's pants! FP: so? it's just insects!!

Zakura: You’ll have to break dance at the same time Kurenai. Kurenai: Oh dingdong… Orochimaru: You can do this to my tongue! YOU CAN’T! Itachi: -grabs Oro’s tongue and make a jump rope- 123GO!!! -Sakura trips “accidentally” after ten jumps, Zakura makes it for twenty five and Kurenai goes to 136Orochimaru: I haff rug bun on ma tongue… Itachi: Sorry. Kurenai: CHOCOLATE BUNNY!! –devours bunny, ears firstZakura: Saweet! Saku, we’re going on a road trip after this. Sakura: I still think being gay isn’t G-rated.

Zakura: Hey, I don’t believe in making children think there’s something wrong with it, k? you can shelter your own kids, I don’t believe in that sugarbowl. Orochimaru: oooh…-puts picture in the albumItachi: YAY! I’ve been quoted again! Sakura: I hate the fans… Zakura: that’s not very nice. Sakura: Screw you. amber: you know, i want to go to italy ill go see if dad will get me a ride there. although, its nice when your dad is super powerful. HT: can i go? amber: nope. get your own ride, bubblegum. HT: well, i feel sorry for you haku. i really do. kyana: you do? HT: HOLY CRAP!! AMBER JUST LEFT AND YOU COME BY!? WTF!? kyana: i know ^^ HT: ok, this is kyana, amber's neice and she can turn into a tiger... its cool. HT: which reminds me, im bored out of my mind, and i made bannana nut muffins. i made one for everyone in there, even kankuro. i wish you luck controlling him, cuz from my earlier expiriences i learned he goes insane from muffins. oh, zakura, i will give you a album of hinata in the shower. keep it a secret though. i stole this from my pervy friend. ENJOY!! ^^ kyana: i have a question for sakura, i want my hair pink, what dye did you use?

Orochimaru: Uh-oh, Kyuubi better run… Itachi: I’m just scared they’ll team up… Orochimaru: Oh funnybunny… Haku: Don’t feel sorry, I’m happy now. Itachi: They make up so easily it’s sickening. Kiba: -hugs ShinoShino: What was that for? Kiba: I intended to do hot steamy things but it came out like that…dingdong G-rating… -muffins appearKankuro: -sniff, sniff- Muffinsssss…. Gaara: Ohsugarbowlohsugarbowl… Kankuro: We wants it…the muffinses…GIVE IT TO US!! –lunge-

Manda: -catch/swallowEveryone: That was easy… Gaara: -gaping horror- KANKURO!!! Kiba: Man I’m glad he’s getting all the bad luck… Gaara: -smacks…falls off bed- AH! –hides againOrochimaru: Hey! I bet you’re cute naked… Gaara: -whimperSakura: My hair’s natural…gosh… Shikamaru: -shudderLucifel: I need to start making these longer some how, I don’t know why they’re shorter…I need more scenarios…Anyway, I hope ya’ll enjoyed this episode of “Ask Sakura For the Kids” See you next time! -GROUP HUG (becuz I said so)Orochimaru: It’s G-rated ORGY!! Sakura: You can’t say orgy in front of kids!!! Orochimaru: Yes I can! They won’t even know what I mean! ORGYORGYORGYORGYORGY!!!! Jiraiya: eheheh… Lucifel: And one last thing? WHAT IS UP FRUITS BASKET FANS?! I looked up random sexy boy/boy coupling and the only that got me anything remotely like shonen ai was HaruYuki! C’mon! So much potential and you’re letting it go to waste! What’s wrong with you guys?! Any…that’s it…bye all!!

Ask Sakura 28 Lucifel: Oh god! I’m so late! I’m sorry! It was finals! And I have rehearsal every night this week! I have to find subs for the work shifts I’m skipping for this play, (which is Friday and Saturday at SLU theater if anyone(who lives in St. Louie)’s interested :)) and…and…I’m also very tired, so if this chapter is lacking my apologies but my brain is everywhere but fanfiction right now. Zakura: Don’t think that means you all can get away with whatever you want!! Orochimaru: Aww, so no orgy? Zaku/Lucy: HELL YES ORGY!! Sakura: No! NO ORGY! Oro/Zaku/Lucy: AWWW. Lee: YOSH! I do not want you to fall behind on your training, so with Lucifiel-chans permission, I'd like to attach a dojo to the room, if it works, a green door should appear, if the door is not green, then you'll end up at my house, and we can train anyhow. So, either way, it works! Everyone: The Satilete is -done-! Congrats! You all get to come along when Lucifiel-chan is done with you, meaning the moment she is, you get kidnapped, and brought up here! It's fully furnished, and we'll even have guest appreances. P.S. *Sends a bunch of plushies of eveeryone favorite character from Naruto to each person in there*

-door appearsLee: YOSH!! -LOUD BUZZER NOISEZakura: Lee, don’t you ? Lee: what? Zakura: -smirks evilly and holds up eyelinerLee: Oh noes… Zakura: muwahahaha

Everyone: Awww man! Orochimaru: At least we have plushies! –huggles Jiraiya plushieJiraiya: that’s just creepy. –hides the two plushies of Tsunade and OrochimaruItachi, Deidara, Naruto, Gaara, Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, Zabuza, Haku, Kiba, Kyuubi and of course Lucifel! The bonus of this akatsuki is, everything is done to your desires, There is room filled with the necessary equipment for orgys and such, oh and a much better fashion sense. Oh and Dei-dei-chan, have you ever thoyght of being a model? gift baskets for all! June x

Zabuza: I don’t do organizations. Haku: I just do whatever Zabuza-san does. Kiba: And gets done by him! Haku: but of course. Kiba: It’s creepy when my comments don’t’ offend in any way. Shino: It’s creepy when you don’t give me all sorts of attention. Kiba: MROW! –pounceShino: Oh, before, we make out… Kiba: BEFORE?! Shino: Are you gonna accept? Kiba: Well… Shino; Because you know, I think men in evil organizations are extremely sexy. Kiba: -manic smile- I’LL DO IT!! Orochimaru: Wouldn’t that imply that you find Deidara-chan and Itachi-kun extremely attractive?? Shino: Did I ever say I didn’t? Itachi: heh, awesome.

Deidara: SASORI!!! Sasori: WHAT?! Deidara: Are you gonna stay with the old or the new akatsuki? Sasori: …yes, I definitely want to stay with that devil woman. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Deidara: Then I’ll definitely !! Sasori: Dei-chan…forget it… Deidara: -cuddlesSasori: -rolls eyesOrochimaru: I’m ing! Invite me! Itachi: If I have time… Naruto: NEVAR!!! Gaara: -sulksLee: Of course you do not invite me… Zakura: Isn’t he PERFECT?! Lee: I’m the most imperfect person in the world… -Lee’s jumpsuit is now black. He has heavy eye-liner and a tear drawn in the corner of his left eye.Zakura: You’ll have to find a different way to ask the rest of those guys. Sasori: I’ll call them. –pulls out cell phone- Hello? Ah, put me on speaker. Do you guys wanna keep working for A.H.S. or take your chances with a new girl we might be able to overthrow? What, seriously? Oh shit. No, no, I don’t blame you. Ok, yeah. Yeah I’ll probably have to…ok, see you later. What?! God…no…NO! Ugh fine. …………I love you guys too. –hangs upEveryone: -snrrrrkSasori: SHUT UP! It only started when Tobi showed up…

Lee: No one loves me. Gaara: -raises his sad, moping head to look skeptically at Lee- Sure soemoen does. Lee: like who? Gaara: -blush- Gai… Lee: well…ah…whatever… Gaara: -sits next to Lee (he’s got clothe son again, btw)- I don’t like this version of you. Lee: Me neither. Gaara: I’m gonna kill the person that made you like this. Lee: What’s one more death in a world full of it? Deidara: Hey WAIT! I designed these coats you know! Sasori: really? …thanks a lot… Deidara: Hmpf. I did model when I was younger. Sasori: You’re young as it is! Deidara: I wasa child model. Itachi: Ooooh, that explains a lot. Deidara: huh? Itachi: the grown-up models touched you didn’t they? Deidara: So? I liked it. Itachi: …oook, then… Orochimaru: GIFT BASKETS!!! ...You people know there's like, four weeks left 'til Italy right? Kyuu-chan's living with me 'til then. *yells* HEY KYUU? Kyuubi: *climbs out of bed at 3:34 PM* Yeah? Writing a review now. Anything you want to say? Kyuubi: Ah, yes. *clears throat officially* I GET CHOCOLATE, HUGS, AND ICE CREAM TWENTY-FOUR SEVEN BITCHES! MUAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and I get to go to the beach all the time, cause she lives in Florida. A.K.A. : I PWN YOU ALL WITHOUT EVEN TRYING! ...That was...nice...Anyways, Sasu-chan and I are still not speaking. Help a poor, plot-deprived girl out? Sincerely,

Kryah P.S.- Any messages for my two tenants?

Zakura: If you can control him in your house, it’s cool with me. Naruto: That’s not fair! He’s living it up! Sakura: I actually prefer not having him here so… Kurenai: I DON’T! Everyone: o.O Kurenai: What? Itachi: A good plot can always be me getting it on with Sasuke. Orochimaru: And me! Lee: Why don’t you just give up? Gaara: That’s it! You say one more emo thing and I’m going rip your tongue out! Lee: Maybe I would die of blood-loss then… Gaara: -slaps duct-tape over Lee’s mouthNeji: That’s not exactly what you said you would do… Gaara: Well…I decided I wanted him to keep his tongue. –blushLee: -Mutters something through the tapeGaara: Lee, I’m serious. Seeing you emo is the most disturbing thing I’ve ever had to deal with. You say or do one more thing and I’m going to have a break-down. Do you really want that?! Orochimaru: I do! Lee: -shakes headGaara: Good. –sits next to Lee and hugs himSakura: Well, if Sasuke’s not talking to you then why don’t you write about that? How it makes you feel? Kiba: Are you trying to make emo people!?

Sakura: NO! Kiba: yeah sure…we know your evil scheme… Questions: Orochimaru, you use your tongue as a weapon against ninjas, pretty much all of whom are carrying blades of some sort. Aren't you afraid you'll accidentally get your tongue severed in a fight? Kiba, Shino, Hinata: For much of the show thus far, your entire team has worn heavy jackets... with shorts. WHY?! What kind of weather were you trying to prepare for?! Throws into the room... ah, you thought I would throw somebody into the room, didn't you?

Orochimaru: Ah, well, I actually have a special tea that I drink every morning and evening and it keeps my tongue coated in an invisible shell that will not ets any metal penetrate it!! Kabuto: That’s a lie. Orochimaru: It is not! How would you know?! Kabuto: Because I make all of your meals. Kimimaro: And how would your tongue stay flexible if you did that? Kabuto: exactly! Orochimaru: there are ways ok?! Sakura: … Everyone: … Orochimaru: What’s everyone staring at? Kimimaro: No kidding… Gaara: -cries a little from the happinessSakura: HOW DID YOU GET BACK HERE?! Kabuto: Through that green door. Kimimaro: Damn convenient, really. Gaara: -runs over to Kimimaro, and hugs himKimimaro: -hugs backKabuto: So…you really weren’t surprised or happy to see me at all, Orochimaru-sama?

Orochimaru: Well…I dunno, I kinda forgot you were gone. Kabuto: -CRUSHEDItachi: I know one girly who’s happy to see you back! –pushes Sakura towards himSakura: Oh fuck you! I am not! –smiles, smilesKabuto: -smiles too-Sakura and Kabuto go off to the couch (I made a couch) and talkZakura: So they’re back…whoop-de-fucking-do. Hinata: Well anyway, about my jacket…I, uh…well I just really like my coat… Shino: It’s mysterious. I started the trend. Kiba: The hell you did. Shino: I did. Orochimaru: Aww, he didn’t toss in anyone to kill!! Manda: I’m glad he didn’t…I’m sick of swallowing people… Hey Zakura: if you integrated with Sakura wouldn't she have more of the backbone you say she is missing? I give Sakura and Hinata and Zakura -- tickets to 20/20 which has male strippers and a bar in one room and female strippers and a bar ain the next room. If there is no 20/20 where you are the tickets will transform into the closest appropriate place. Oh and fifty dollars in ones for each of you! asta

Zakura: I’m not gonna be her backbone for her. Sakura: But you’re a part of me! Kabuto: Let it go, kiddo. Sakura: I’m not a kid! Kabuto: Ok, whatever… Sakura: Want me to prove it?! Kabuto: -snicker- sure… Sakura: -blush- I didn’t mean it like that!

Kabuto: I know…-snrrkZakura: oh sweet! One more pit-stop for the road-trip after this! Sakura: Oh god… Hinata: O.O Kiba: I wanna go!! Shino: Yeah I bet you do… Itachi: I just want the money… Gaara/Kimi: -sit on the bedGaara: How’d you come back. Kimimaro: haha, I’m not really sure. He really went through a lot to do it though… Gaara: So…are you… Kimimaro: No. He doesn’t love me like that, and I’m not the selfish type to ask him for it when he wouldn’t be happy…that’d be to hard for me. –drops headGaara: After doing all that? He doesn’t… Kimimaro: He felt he owed it to me. He cares about me…I guess…just not…not like that… Gaara: Doesn’t that hurt you too? Kimimaro: -looks up, his eyes teary- Yes. Yes it does… Gaara: -hugsLee: -who was still sitting besides the bed with duct tape over his mouth gets up and hugs tooJadeBird:Hello... Somebody You Don't Know:LEE-KUN! -hugs Lee and kisses cheekJB:-sweatdrop- I came to ask if Gaara would rather go out with Lee or kill Sasuke.. SYDK:Lee, as you know I now have Gai-sensei. So you have to make-out with me to get him back! JB:-gags-Anyway, I just wrote to say hi to Zakura-chan. -kisses Zakura on the lipsSYDK:I'm a straight girl...I'm a straight girl... JB:You keep telling yourself that...

Lee: ack. –gets pulled into hug-

Gaara: Umm…go out with Lee…-disbelief at stupid questionLee: ? –pulls off duct tape- I already have…can I have him back now? Gaara: You’ve WHAT?! Lee: Umm…well… Gaara: Dear god… Kiba; haha! Lee’s a slut too! Lee: I’m not a slut…I just want affection… Gaara: -smacks- stop that. Neji: How did we get so many lesbian fans? Zakura: Don’t know, don’t care, just enjoyin’ it. –kisses- oh, and now that Kimi’s back, I think he and Hinata should drink their pale green potions. Hinata: Oh…I don’t want… Kimimaro: What if it kills me again? Zakura: If it’s not deadly, after Hinata drinks it you have to, ok Kimimaro? Kimimaro: Fine. Zakura: So, Hinata drink. Hinata: But— Zakura: Drink! Hinata: -starts drinkingKiba: what if it kills her?! Zakura: …GAH NO!! -POOF OF SMELLY GREEN SMOKEHinata: Umm…I feel fine…

Everyone: -droolsHinata: What? –looks in mirror (what? There was ALWAYS a mirror there!) GAH! I’m a CAT!! -Indeed, she now has cat ears, a tail, whiskers and paws. The rest is still our cutie-pie favorite HinataZakura: There is a god… Kiba: She’s be cuter if it was a dog-person… Shino: -smacksKiba: What?! Hinata: Oh no…-tries removing whiskers- oww… Naruto: Whiskers are awesome! I wish I had some! Kiba/Neji/Shin/Jira: -.Orochimaru: Kimi’s turn!! Kimimaro: But…but.. Orochimaru: DRINK!! Kimimaro: Geh. Orochimaru: -forces him to drink-POOFOrochimaru: KYAA!! SO CUTE!! Kimimaro: This is horribly humiliating…-scratches earHinata: -flips tail- teehee…this is kind of fun… Deidara: strip for Orochimaru KIBA: Make out with Asuma! Hinata: HI! WHY IS NEJI A wh0re? HERE IS CHOCOLATE SODA 4 U! Shikamaru: YOU ARE A WOMAN P!MP! (dumps brown potion on him)

Deidara: For Oro? FOR EVERYONE…yeah!! -Deidara does a sexy strip dance with a lot of pelvic rotations and thrusts and so-on…-

Kiba: -trying not to let Shino see him looking- If I already did, I don’t have to right? Shino: -twitchZakura: no, it doesn’t count for you, because we hate you. Kiba: Uh, one that was TOTALLY hypothetical, and two why does everyone hate me?! Zakura: Because you’re a prick. Kiba: Grr… Shino: -glaresKiba: Anyway, Asuma’s not here so HA! Zakura: He’ll come around eventually I’m sure. Deidara: K, I’m naked. All done…yeah…-looks to see if Sasori was turned onSasori: -snoozeDeidara: -crushedHinata: I…I don’t know. Neji: Because it’s FUN! Orochimaru: Hell yeah! Yay for whores! Neji: sure… Hinata: Omg…chocolate soda?! –drinks- wooow… Kurenai: Hinata-chan…as your dearly beloved teacher you want me to try that soda as well, ne? Hinata: Of course! –hands it to KurenaiKurenai: AHAHAHA! It’s mine! MINE!! Hinata: Kurenai-sensei…-puppy (er, kitty) eyesKurenai: -ahem- uh, I mean, thanks…-hands back-

Haku: Isn’t that fun, hinata-chan? Hinata: ? Shikamaru: -twitch- so now I’m soaking wet…great… Zakura: It has to be ingested to work…duh… Shikamaru: -sulks off to the bathroomOrochi-sama: Yay! i am loved! What is your opinion of those half-snake poeple? (shifty eyes) Here! (gives more pics of sasuke) don't let anyone else see them k? Kiba: (stares)...DOGGY! (glomps) Gaara:(nosebleed) OMG TEH SEXYNESS! (holds bleeding nose) h-here..(hands some clothes) Everyone else: Have another tickel orgy plwease?? Mini Death

Orochimaru: Wait, why do I love you? –receives pictures- Oh, I now…and they’re cool. I was one for a little bit. Pretty fucking awesome. Manda: Being all snake is better…-burps and Kankuro can be heard screaming in his stomach- eugh, I burped up my food a little… Gaara: Btw, did you know Kankuro’s face-paint is poisonous? Manda: Eww, no wonder he tastes so bad. –spits him outGaara: -catches him- you ok? Kankuro: MUFFINSES!! WHERE DID THEY GO?! Gaara: -knocks Kankuro outKimimaro: Ummm… Gaara: It’s easier this way, trust me. Kiba: GACK! –falls overGaara: I already got my clothes back but thanks…-takes clothes- hey, I like these…-puts on new clothesKimimaro: They’re a little gay-looking… Gaara: Whatever… Orochimaru: Well, you heard her! –pounces towards JiraiyaSakura: -trips- It was a request, not a command. We’re doing no such thing.

Orochimaru: Well I’M commanding it! Sakura: That would be Demanding it, and no. not again. Deidara: But I wasn’t HERE for the last one… Lee: And Of course I wasn’t… Gaara: Mother fucker, none more thing and I’ll have you konked out and lying next to nii-san over there. Lee: -shuts upA.H.S: -Coughes lightly before CAKLING EVILY- KUKUKUKUKUKUPUDDINGKUKUKU! June. I only killed Tobi! You own Tobi!! As for the other Akatsuki...Well...You can have Deidara, Itachi and Sasori...I want the rest. And Sasori, when I get a hold of you I'mma take you apart and hide the peices all around the countries. Then I'll use your head to practice hairstyles on for the new baby! Hidan: WHAT?! YOUR KNOCKED UP?! A.H.S: Yes...o.o...That's the onloy reason I married Sasori...I wanted red headed babies...^_^ Itachi, Kakazu said he found a dress and make up in your room, do you cross dress or something? Sasori...IWANTAFUCKINGDIVORCE! Hidan: Ok...Other than the hair thing...why? A.H.S: -pouts and criesCAUSE DEIDARA DIDN'T WANT ME!

Lucifel: If you all are gonna have serious discussions about the akatsuki you better take this to PMs… Itachi: I’m totally gonna start free-lancing though…if you can get Kisame out of wherever we left him I’m sure he’ll go with one of you. Lee: We did leave him there, didn’t we? Too bad I wasn’t—ugh…-gets knocked outGaara: god, I’m so sick of that. –lies him on the bed next to KankySasori: DAMMIT!! I DON’T WANT CHILDREN!! Deidara: Aww, Sasori-kun… Sasori: No, I have to go kill that baby… Deidara: NO!! –holds him backSasori: Yeah, we can divorce! Just give me the kid! Deidara: Stop that…yeah! Sasori: Whatever… Itachi: Umm, no DUH. Was in the European royalty dress or the girl’s kimono? Cuz I want the dress sent to me, I miss it.

Orochimaru: I want one!! Jiraiya: …I wish you were still a woman. Orochimaru: So you wouldn’t have to feel bad about that nosebleed? Jiraiya: -bluuush and blocks nosebleedDeidara: Of course I don’t love you! You married Sasori, yeah! –clutches to SasoriSakura, I hate your guts. You do know your big forehead is perfect for target practice, right? Shikamaru, you f-ing rock! Your my favorite char. other than Naruto and Hinata. Anyways, if you had to, who would you sleep with: Ino or Temari.

Itachi: Woah…it is…-pulls out KunaiSakura: Gah! No! stop it! –hides forehead behind KabutoOrochimaru: Oh wow, that takes me back to the first grand ol’ days… Sakura: They were never grand! Itachi: -throws kunaiSakura: ACK! –dudges-kunai hit MandaItachi: Whoops… Manda: -chases ItachiShikamaru: How would I HAVE to sleep with someone? Kiba: Just if you did… Shikamaru: Temari, definitely. She wouldn’t bitch and whine about anything… Neji: But Ino’s prettier. Shikamaru: Well, first of all she’s definitely not, and secondly Temari also seems like the type who would be willing to do most of the work. Kiba: that is horrible. Shikamaru: I’m being forced, why should I work for it? Danie: Oh and Sasori can definetely stay here if he wants too... It's cool with us.

Anjiru: Did you guys know that we've fallen in love with the pairing ItaKure?!?! We love it so much! We found an interesting story with the ItaKure pairing!! You should read it! Danie: You know, I envy the people who're getting married... can I get married too? Anjiru: Anyway, who do you guys hate the most? I may have an idea already.. but still!! I need it for blackm- I mean I just need to know. Danie:: And for gifts, just some food... More chocolate for Kurenai... But as usual, Sakura can't have any... -evil laugh- BTW, sorry for the shortness... You may have noticed that I prefer Kurenai over all you peops!! Anyway... that's it for today! Danie & Anjiru: Buhbye from the frap pool! From the frap pool, Danie & Anjiru

Sasori: I’ve been sitting here with Dei-chan and they haven’t even noticed… Deidara: Uh-oh… -Deidara gets kicked out of the frap roomDeidara: NOOO! Yeah. Kurenai: WITH WHAT PAIRING?! Itachi: Eww…but she’s a woman. Kurenai: WITH WHAT PAIRING?! Jiraiya: That is ridiculous! How could anyone dare! Kurenai! I am here to ease away the bruises on your ego—gets smashed by a skillet- Itai… Zakura: Get engaged first, kiddo. Hell, propose to one of these saps… Itachi: NOO! Zakura: Oh, bug off, they want you with Kurenai. Itachi: Oh yeah… Kurenai: NOO!! Zakura: I hate Sakura. Sakura: I hate you! Zaku/saku: -glaring contest…Sakura failsOrochimaru: I hate sarutobi-sensei. Jiraiya: -frowns- I don’t hate anyone…not really. I’m too old to hate.

Kurenai: I’m not. –glares at itachiGaara: I hate the fans. Lee: -in his unconscious state- I hate everyone… Gaara: Shut up you. Kimimaro: I always really hated Sakon and Ukon. Kabuto: Oh hells yes. And Sasuke. Naruto: OROCHIMARU!! Orochimaru: yes? Naruto: -.Neji: Hinata’s dad. Hinata: Aww…ano…probably Kyuubi-san because he makes Naruto’s life so hard… Naruto: You shouldn’t hate for me, Hinata. Hinata: -blushItachi: I hate the Uchiha’s…oh, they’re dead! Yay me! Kiba: I agree with Kimimaro! Shino: I hate Ino. Kiba: Huh, really? Shino: -nodsHaku: I don’t hate anyone. –smilesZabuza: I hate everyone who would dare hurt Haku. Zakura: Not many are that stupid… Shikamaru: Sasuke. Neji: Just cuz he won’t screw you…

Shikamaru: -glaresNeji: fine, whatever. Deidara: I HATE A.H.S.!! Sasori: ME TOO!! Orochimaru: I don’t! Deidara: No one asked you… Manda: Everyone. –hisssKurenai: -sits with chocolate happilyHot damn, just WHO is straight, now? I'm not sure Sakura would count, anyways.. Damn, why do people insult Orochimaru-sama and Jiraiyasama lots?! I mean, they're so freakin' awesome! And smexy for their age!. -throws some random candy in the room- Candy. Yay! Oh, and here's a chocolate cake! ...Well, you all better like chocolate! Naruto-kun: A, you're really, really cute, yesh? Well, here's lots of Ramen for you! And anyone else can only eat it if you give them permission. Well, enjoy it! -mutters- I really, really like you and-... -blushUm, I said nothing, really! -Meow Meow Luna

Naru/Saku/Manda/Kure/Hina: -raise handsZakura: Five people…that’s too many. Itachi: Definitely. Kiba: A lot of us are bi though! Shino: -ahemKiba: -cuddlesOrochimaru: YEAH! WE ARE! Jiraiya: HELL YEAH! Sakura: For your AGE, and you guys are OLD! Jiraiya: At least unlike Oro and Tsunade I don’t use anything to hid my real appearance! Lucifel: You still look twice my mom’s age and she’s almost fifty… Naruto: -snicker-

Jiraiya: WHAT?! Naruto: Nothing… -IT’S RAINING CANDY!!Everyone: YAY!! -soon everyone had gorged themselves on candy and lie with horrid stomach achesNaruto: yay! Ramen! Sakura: Aren’t you FULL!? Naruto: Nah… Kiba: Uh-oh, looks like you’ve got another irer! Naruto: Who was the first? Everyone: -face-palmZakura: Welcome to the fandom Meow meow! Gaara: I hate you too. Zakura: Stop that. aww sakura, sorry to hear that you hate me but don't worry, i won't take it personally...infact, i'm gonna give you an entire crate full of papayas. they should really help cause according to the asians' beliefs, they help with breast growth which you really need seeing as how you have none AT ALL! Deidara:-gives play oh- i feel your pain...-looks longingly at Kaerulucifel:-gives froggie plushie- a token of appreciation, O fair one. Frog princ3

Sakura: Well…I guess it couldn’t hurt… Van Flyheight: PAPAYAS!!! –Runs in and jumps face-first into the crate of papayas.Zeke: ROAR!! –Follows VanKiba: -pulling Van out of Papaya crate- Where did you come from!? Van: No matter where I am, no matter who I’m with, I have a sixth sense for finding Papayas. They call to me! And I must heed the beckon!! Zeke: ROWR! :) Van: AHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Zakura: -drags the laughing Van and Zeke to a window and tossesVan: WAIT! –Grabs window-ledge- At least let me take the papayas!! Zakura: GO AHEAD!-drops crate on him sending him crashing downdowndownSakura: My papayas! Zakura: those things don’t work. What you need is some hormonally-improved milk. Naruto: I think I had some of that… Zakura: no, that was rotten milk. Kiba: Same thing, really. Deidara: Ooh! Play doh! –Starts making fancy things with playdohLucifel: Oh prince, my prince, how sweetly you do minister to love, to know how much I love frog plushies. –Starry eyesZakura: Gag me with a fork… OMG YOUR RIGHT!! i hope she doesnt destroy anything important... *somewhere amber is destroying life in italy as we know it* kyana: NO FUSKING WAY THAT IS NATURAL YOU WHINEY PINK HAIRED BITCH! HT: oh boy... i'll go get cain... kyana: he cant calm me everytime i see HI CAIN-KUN!! i luv you... HT: told you. anyway, CAN I BE YOUR SLAVE TOO LUCIFEL!? Sasuke: where’d amber go? HT: sasuke! you returned! sasuke: what the hell is a little bitch and her supposed bf doin here? HT: be nice emo... kyana: wah! cain-kun!! he called me a bitch! sasuke: im leaving... *leaves* HT: i miss him again... oh, i have a question for everyone! if you were an animal what would you be? kyana: *whispers* and who's had better sex with sasuke? im curious. ^^

Kyuubi: (while lounging in a beach chair with Kryah splashing around in the background) If that bitch destroys Italy without me there I’m gnna be PISSED. Sakura: Well it is, ok?! We already went over this!! Shikamaru: And how many times do we have to bring it up…-shudderKiba: Dear god she could start her own column with all her split personalities… Shino: Don’t give her ideas… Orochimaru: Sasuke’s such a slut, running from home to home like that.

Lucifel: Of course! I love slaves! –teeheeKiba: I’d be a dog!! Shino: a tick. Itachi: can we please just skip the rest of the obvious ones. –Glares at the sanninOrochimaru: Xp Itachi: Anyway, I’d be a leopard or a crow or something…dark and sneaky. Orochimaru: And sexy! Jiraiya: Please don’t ever imply bestiality again… Sakura: I’d be a— Zakura: Hippo. Sakura: -glares- no, a butterfly, because I go through many stages, becoming more lovely everytime! Zakura: Oh god, whatever. I’d be a tiger, because I kick ass. Kurenai: I have no clue! Jiraiya: I think she’d be a dog or cat or something… Kurenai: Are you saying I’m DOMESTICATED?! Jiraiya: No, never. Deidara: I’m a cat cuz I’m sneaky… Naruto: I’d be a dragon! Sakura: Realistically, Naruto! Come on! Naruto: Oh…then I guess a fox cuz they’re always surprising you… Neji: Well, I’ve always wanted to be an eel… Kiba: Because you’re slippery and into other ‘eels’ we get it.

Neji: oh fuck you. I think they’re awesome. Kiba: Seriously, an eel?! Neji: Whatever! Hinata: I’d want to be a sparrow…because they can fly and they’re so pretty and cute… Zakura: you’re already cute… Gaara: The most horrible and evil creature you can think of? Yeah, not even close. Kimimaro: In a bad mood? Gaara: whyever would I be? Kankuro: but he LOOKS like a raccoon. Gaara: Who said you could wake up? Kankuro: -shrugsGaara: Why did you leave anyway?! Didn’t I leave you and Temari in charge?! Kankuro: You did, and I left her in charge, she’ll handle everything better without me anyway. Gaara: Yeah, I guess she’s pretty trustworthy… Meanwhile: Temari: WHOOO LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!! And Temari and 500 of her ‘closest friend’ through a party all of the capitol building of suna Gaara: yeah, I trust her… Zakura: So, last question. Kimimaro: but not everyone— Zakura: don’t care. Itachi: I’m pretty sure mine was the best.

Orochimaru: Eh, I won’t argue. Neji: It’s pretty amazing being on the bottom of him… Itachi: Sure, whatever Zakura: 40,0,0,0,0,0 pounds of Swiss cheese itachi: 80,0 pounds of Heineken beer Kyuubi: Can i catch you as a pokemon you'll become good friends with my Dialga(I really have one) Itachi: Drink all the beer I gave you Hey Sasuke I thought I killed you Sasuke: Nope I drank that potion in your room that said sulphuric acid But...hahaha Sasuke: I feel melty

Zakura: Umm…cheese? Kiba: DUDE! CHEESE!! –Jumps at cheeseCheese: Yes? Kiba: What’s with all the cross-overing?! Cheese: I like cross-dressing!! Everyone: -twitchZakura: -throws Cheese out the windowCheese: -as he falls- I LIIIIKE THIS GAME!! Itachi: Sweet! Alcohol! Oh…but I don’t like beer… Kyuubi: No! What the fuck is a Dialga? Lucifel: Any pokemon past the first 151 (plus Togepi and Marill) are bullshit pokemon. Kyuubi: Exactly. Itachi: Awww dammit. –drinks…and drinks…and drinks…-fifteen minutes laterItachi: AH! Tha wash refweshing…-falls on KibaOrochimaru: HOW DARE YOU MELT SASUKE! Itachi: He-hic-he’s fine I’m shur…

OK moving on now... Anyway, since I feel unloved for the lack of good presents (with the exception of dinner @ a japenese restaurant, and Lucifel-chan's bday suprise) I demand belated birthday presents!! Gifts include but are not limited too, sex GIFT TIME Hinata-chan: some cupcakes, you're very own two bedroom house and a portable generator. Cause you're so cute and I want to have you as my pet. Question Time Kurenai: How do you deal with all the sexual frustration of not being around Gai? Now that I think about it, there's always Gai's youthful clone Lee...

Zakura: How about a punch in the mouth? Orochimaru: I send you a specially made ‘stimulation machine‘! Deidara: -finishes making massive playdoh stork statue- oh…well, happy birthday. – Gives statue- …yeah…oh, and sex if you want. Itachi: I want! Sasori: HA! And you say you were loyal! Deidara: I only turn to him because OTHERS aren’t paying any attention to me! Hinata: Oh wow…cupcakes… Kurenai: -.-‘ ok… Kiba: Can I have one?! Hinata: sure! Haku: Me too!! Hinata: yay! Kiba: Doesn’t the pet thing creep you out? Hinata: -looks suspiciously at cupcakeKurenai: Don’t be perverted! Kankuro: Aww, he’s pretty cute. Gaara: -twitchKankuro: -looking down at sleeping Lee- I mean hell I’d probably— Gaara: -punches Kank in the face-

Kankuro: -es outShikamaru: He’s really weak… Kiba: Well, he was beaten by a bunch of bugs… Shino: -punchesomfg Sasuke not gay :[ *gets shot for being a sasusaku fan*

Zakura: -pulls out missile launcher- this is aiming for…oh…every Sasu/Saku fan’s house… Sakura: Gah! That’s my house to! Zakura: And? Sakura: All my stuff is there! Zakura: So? Sakura: You’ll blow up the stash! Zakura: Aww, fuck you’re right. –Puts away missile launcherKabuto: What stash? Sakura: Nothing… Hinata - apparently ur uncle hizashi touched u? IS THAT TRUE? to any one of u nutjobs- this is more of an advice question, i like this guy, nd he sees me as like a best friend, but trouble is, he's going out with this reli popular girl hu's also my friend. wot should i do? deidara - (d2 plays avril lavigne's "girlfriend")so any ways? U thought about it?? -bats the eyes-

Hinata: -blush- NO! That’s horrible! Of course not! Orochimaru: He did, didn’t he? Hinata: …-whispers- hai… Neji: -twitchKurenai: -pulls out dual-wielded skillets- oh, he’s going DOWN. Itachi: okokok, here’s what you do. By strategic use of sheep, kill and destroy the body of said popular girl, then, be there to him when he finds out, take advantage of him in a weak situation and get in his pants! Sakura: That’s horrible!

Zakura: Eww, you’re friends with a popular girl? Sakura: Shut up. What you should really do, and the only thing you can do, would be to be the best friend you can to him. When he realizes how great you are— Itachi: Assuming you are. Sakura: WHEN he realizes then he’ll gently let the other girl down and come to you. Or, you’ll be there to him when they eventually break up. The more you show him the more likely you are to get his attention in that special way! HEY! HEY! YOU! YOU! I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend Lucifel: Couldn’t resist…blame her… Deidara; But you’re a girl, yeah? Itachi: That…was the best song ever… Orochimaru: HELL YEAH! Oro/Ita: Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious And hell yeah I'm the motherfuckin' princess I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right (know I'm right, know I'm right, know I'm right) She's like so whatever You can do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about KYAA! SO FUN!! hehe Jiraiya-sama in a dres*snaps picture* that's a keeper. Hinata-chan, when are you planning on telling him? and Sakura, just cuz I enjoy doing this * hands Sakura album of Sasuke-teme making out w/ Oro*

Jiraiya: gah! No! Get rid of those pictures! Orochimaru: Or give me!! Hinata: Tellingwhowhat? Ihavenoideawhatyou’retalkingabout! –Hides behind KurenaiNaruto: Ne, Hinata, why don’t you tell me? I can keep a secret! Kiba: …Not cool… Shino: -snicker- look at her blush… Sakura: AAAAGH! Get rid of this! –ThrowsKabuto: -destroysSakura: thanks. Kabuto: Anytime. Sakura: It’s ALMOST nice to have you back. Kabuto: And I’m ALMOST enjoying it. Kimimaro: I’m enjoying it! Gaara: -smileLucifel: And that’ll about wrap up my incredibly late update. But I am in a play, and officially done with finals so huzzah! Next Monday, on time, I promise. I love you all! I’m surprised I didn’t get more angry “UPDATE” PMs. Oh, and also, Ask Sakura is now rated M, good idea ne? Muffin something or other suggested it. Orochi and Itachi have something to say before we go: Oro/Ita: Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me

No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend You're so fine I want you mine You're so delicious I think about you all the time You're so addictive Don't you know what I can do to make you feel alright? (feel alright, feel alright, feel alright) Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious And hell yeah I'm the motherfuckin' princess I can tell you like me too and you know I'm right (know I'm right, know I'm right, know I'm right) She's like so whatever You can do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about [Chorus] Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend I can see the way I see the way you look at me And even when you look away I know you think of me I know you talk about me all the time again and again (again and again, again, again) So come over here and tell me what I want to hear Better yet, make your girlfriend disappear I don't wanna hear you say her name ever again (and again and again and again)

'Cause she's like so whatever And you could do so much better I think we should get together now And that's what everyone's talking about [Chorus] Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend Oh In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'? Oh In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger 'Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? She's so stupid, what the hell were you thinkin'? [Chorus] Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend

No way, no way Hey hey, you you I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way I think you need a new one Hey hey, you you I could be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey hey, you you I know that you like me No way, no way I know it's not a secret Hey hey, you you I want to be your girlfriend No way, no way Hey hey I want to be your girlfriend, copyright of Avril Lavigne. I’m obsessed with that song. And I’m a dork XD

Ask Sakura 29 Lucifel: I’m sick today. Things may go wonky because of that. In fact, hell, let’s give today a theme: Surrealism. And suddenly the room was upside down, and right-side up…people leave after-images behind them as they walk in circles up walls, and those images go chasing after melting butterflies that go sky-diving off the backs of elephants. Zakura: I hate sick fan-fiction authors. Kiba: siht skcus. …TIMMAD!! Shino: Why are you speaking backwards Kiba? –The words take solid form and fall out of his mouth, landing painfully on his toes- OWW!! Lucifel: In other news, Loyalty Eternal is actually UPDATED and I have a Crucible Fanfiction up if anyone’s read that… -At the word ‘crucible’ several hangman’s nooses fly up from the floorHinata: Here is more chocolate soda...32 tons of it! U R special. Orochimaru: U R SPECIAL! Have a really horny picture of Jiraiya drunk in a stripper bar (hands over) BYE! LOVE YOU ALL, Except Kiba P.S.: Here's Asuma (hands him over)

Hinata: Yay meow! Uh-oh…why am I meowing meow? Kimimaro: That’s weird I’m not…-turns into entirely a cat- Oh shit… Orochimaru: Oooh…-picture comes to life- Well… Jiraiya: Geh! Get rid of that! –Tries to push it out a window, but it slips through his fingersKiba: YEH! S’tahw gnorw htiw em?! Shino; Well…for one you’re talking backwards…-flinches but no letters fall this time, but on of the butterflies lands in his hair and melts all over his face-

-Asuma appears wearing a bat-man costumeKiba: Mmmmu… Asuma: I definitely wasn’t just role-playing with Kakashi! Kiba: -chtiwt- od I evah ot ekam tuo htiw mih?! Zakura: Yup. Kiba: Nmad. -They make outDanie: Well, I have to get engaged. Gotta pick someone without a partner yet… Hm… Anjiru: Or, you can just take someone’s partner! Danie: Hey, Naru-chan do you know that I killed you? I wrote a fic about it. The title’s “His Funeral” – hands you the fic– Anjiru: Hinata-chan, why won’t you confess? He’s gonna die soon, you should really confess or else someone might beat you to him! Danie: Can I get engaged with Kabuto? Anjiru: No, he likes Sakura, ? Naruto isn’t straight! I saw a fic that had you and Sasuke making out behind a tree! Sakura even saw you and is planning to blackmail Sasuke! Danie: Can I get engaged with Kimimaro? Anjiru: Dunno, ask Lucifel-chan and Zakura-sama. Danie: Please? Anyway, that’s all for now! Oh, and please if anyone has the time, read my newest fic, “His Funeral” especially you Naruto! Danie & Anjiru

Naruto: Gah! Why’d you do that?! Sakura: It’s just a fic, Naruto! Naruto: So is this… Sakura: Oh yeah… Kabuto: I don’t like Sakura! –His nose grows longer- Aww shit. Hinata: I have nothing to confess meow! Kimimaro: I don’t like having four legs… Gaara: -scratches his earsKimimaro: Except this, I like this. Naruto: Just cause I kissed Sasuke in a fic doesn’t mean I did it in real life! Sakura: but you did…-glowers at the memory…which appears clearly in a thought bubble above her head-

Naruto: that was an accident!! Sakura: Sure, whatever… Zakura: If you can convince Kimimaro to marry you, be may guest. Gaara: -while sunflowers grow out of his ears- but that would be bestiality… Zakura: Whatever floats their boat… Orochimaru: I will take their boat down!! Gaara: That’d be necrophilia too… -A zombie walks out of the bathroom and starts doing a jigMuninn: Hi everyone. Froggy P is a little busy right now so we brothers will be taking over. Huginn: Now that Frogster's a father, he's letting go of all his harem . Muninn: Anyways, welcome back Kimi and Kabuto! Kabuto, do you watch Kamen Rider Kabuto or any other of the Rider series? Huginn: Lee I dare you to be Gaara's personal slave for a day. BWAHAHAHA! Oh look, Frogster's done. F.P: Ok, i wanna introduce someone and anyone who even thinks bout hurting/doing dirty stuff to her will be burned to a crisp by a pillar of fire! ROWR!! -sweet voice- Baby, Ashlynn, say hi to mommy and all her friends. A cute little girl dressed in an angel outfit appears behind F.P. Ashlynn: hwello, ev-eve-peepoles -huggles Lucifel- Mommy! F.P: aw...anyways, here's a tadpole plushie for Lucy since you like the frog one so much -wink-

Lucifel: Awww, that’s responsible of him. Neji: Who’s kid does he have? Zakura: the one from Gaara’s Valentines Day. Gaara: My what? –Question marks float around his headKankuro: you know heart-day, kissy-kissy, annual-singles-awareness-celebration. Gaara: Who told you that you could get up yet? Kankuro: Umm…no-one… Gaara: -knocks him out with a hammer that suddenly appears in his hand…- ok… Zakura: See, there she is! Neji: He puts his kid in an angel costume? Kiba: taht sdnous a elttil detrevrep ot em.

Lucifel: -huggles daughter and tadpole plushieLee: Personal servant? I could never stoop so low! Gaara: Wanna go get me a frap? Lee: sure!! Gaara: Who needs to dare when he’s so easily manipulated? Naruto: Hey, Naruto! Here's some ramen! *Hands him a bunch of ramen* And did you know that you look almost excatly like the Yondaime? It's true! Mabye he's your dad?...I must find out! *Sets off on a quest to find out* Shikamaru: I've got two things for you: One! When you were locked in the -other- room, you made out with Ino, and when you got out, you dated her for awhile, what happened? Two! You're probuly going crazy without being able to look at the clouds, so I add a skylight to the new Dojo through the green door! *Snaps fingers, and a skylight appears in there* Lee: YOSH! Lee, my youthful friend, I dare you to never be emo again, as it will drain away your youth! To make up for this, I beleive that when you get ut, after our race, we should race around Konoha 100 more times to make up for ever being emo.

Naruto: I’ve almost got as much ramen as Itachi and Gaara have fraps!! Gaara: -sips frap…which then sprouts legs and runs away screaming- I wonder who got the better deal there… Naruto: Huh…let me know if you find anything out!! Shikamaru: You have ramen for a brain don’t you? Naruto: That would be awesome! I could my own brain! –his head opens and his brain runs away with the frappuccinoShikamaru: …you saw nothing in that other story… Kiba: Akihs… Shikamaru: Whatever. It was a mistake. Kiba: I teb ti saw… Shikamaru: Yeah…oh god, where did that door go? Kiba: -points up-The door is taking part in a musical on the ceilingLee: That we shall my youthful friend! A noble idea!!

Wooh, I got Deidara and Sasori in my new Akatsuki! Naru-Chan are your whiskers a side effect of Kyuubi, Birthmarks, or scars? Question for Everyone: What stereotype are you eg. Goth, Emo, Punk, Grunge, Chav, Preppy, Townie, Gangsta or Slut? Kisses to Lucifel, Gift Baskets to Kimmi, Naru, Dei, Saso, Tachi and Gaa-chan! June x

Sasori: -while trying to keep the pieces of his body-parts that keeps randomly detatching from floating away- yes, yes, very pleased to be with you… Deidara: -steals a floating earZakura: Since I’m the only honest one I’ll say it all: Naruto’s your stereotypic unlikely hero, Sakura’s a prep, Orochimaru’s a slut, Itachi’s a fag, Haku’s an airhead, Zabuza’s the best stereo-typed bad-but-good guy you’ll ever see, Neji’s a slut, (duh) Kiba’s kind of a jock I guess, Shino’s a goth with make-up, Deidara’s a prep as well, Kurenai’s a single career-oriented woman, Hinata’s one of those ‘artsy lonely kids’, Kabuto’s a nerd, so is Kimimaro, Gaara’s an emo, Jiraiya’s a pervert, Lee’s also a jock, Shikamaru’s also a nerd. And I’m a bitch. Anyone disagree? Orochimaru: Nope! :D Sakura: Yes! Zakura: Great, moving on… Jiraiya: Why are we all dressed in our stereo-types general clothing style? Zakura: Umm…I don’t care. Sakura: that’s because YOU look cool! I don’t! –tries to pull off preppy sweaterZakura: Hey, at least by liking a nerd you kind of kill a stereotype. Kabuto: I don’t appreciate the ‘I love my NPCS’ t-shirt… Kimimaro: At least you’re not wearing a collar with a chess piece dangling off of it. Zakura: So, gift baskets and let’s move. Anyway: Gives Shikamaru a 20-in-1 pack of board games from the U.S. and Japan, including Shogi, Go, Monopoly, Chess, so on and so forth. Gives Orochimaru a set of spiked rings to wear on his tongue for battle and... anything else. To everybody: drops a king-sized jet black potion in the middle of the room. It holds seven servings of potion, it's cool to the touch, and it's labeled in an otherworldly language THAT'S NOT FUCKING ELVISH because we're all tired of elvish. Of course, these gifts all have to be approved...

Shikamaru: Nice…who wants to play me?

Itachi: no one, Shikamaru. You’re too damn good. Only Asuma would but he disappeared through the green door and hasn’t been back yet…although I think I saw his beard dancing with a banana a little bit ago… Orochimaru: Hey, Shika, I’ll play with your gift if you’ll let me play with mine! Shikamaru: That’s ok….really…besides, the monopoly pieces are busy playing Go with the Chess Set. -Potion drops into the room. The glass shatters but the liquid stays in place.Haku: I’ll drink it! Zabuza: -catching him- No you won’t. Orochimaru: -licks it- huh…tastes like licorice… Kiba: MUY! Shino: down boy. JB: kisses Zakura long and hardSYDK:-starts screamingJB:-chuckles- Anyway, since she's being a moron again, I tell her message...Lee, she decided that she's going to starve Gai-sensei unless you make out with her again... SYDK:-still screamingJB: STOP THAT! SYDK:-silent-

Zakura: Yay kisses! –A mouth floats into the room and kisses ZakuraLee: NOO! GAI-SENSEI!! Gaara: you better make out with her then. Kimimaro: Why are you ok with this? Gaara: Because it gives me an excuse to KILL. –At the word kill lots of ladybugs, rainbows and butterflies and flowers appear around Gaara- Well, that killed the effect… A.H.S:. -A dark shadowy figure appears beside her and drops his bags- Morana...What did you do? A.H.SGulps and smiles- Hiya pops! Leader: ...Where the hell are my bitches? A.H.S: Umm...Places? -coughesA.H.S: -runs away- Leader: -Cough- While she's gone. Sasori...I need to have a word with you about knocking up my daughter. So here's her list of things: Oro: She loves you! And she gives you this Uchihacest album for not hating her. Itachi, WTF?! -Throws the dresses at- Issues! -shuder/gags- Sasoriteme: -Tosses a stack of papers at- Sign these. And she will not get rid of the baby. I need little minions/ grandbabies!!

Zakura: Dude, we keep meeting more family of the fans… -A cow and t-rex walk by in wedding-garments-

Orochimaru: YAY! Incest! Itachi: yee! I wanna see my work! –gasp!- but first! Dresses!! –goes and gets changed into dragSasori: -trying to ignore Itachi in a dress- I’m not g these! I refuse to acknowledge that child! Kiba: taht si gniog ot eb eno dekcuf pu dik. Shino: Ayep. Sasori: She can have Tobi’s kids! There’s hair-dye for a reason! Deidara: If I was a woman and got knocked up, would you let me keep your baby, yeah? Sasori: NO! I want no children at all!! Deidara: Aww… Since Kyuubi got to go on a vacation to Italy, could u let itachi go with me on a cruise to the Caribbean next Tuesday, come back Sunday. Oh and Kisame has to go with. Oh yea question: Hinata, how did it feel to beat up Neji in the Chunnin exams?

Zakura: Naw, we already said it was a one-time thing…you can take Kisame though. -A shark swims by, with a flower pot on it’s backItachi: But I wanna go… Zakura: Too bad, so sad. Moving on. Hinata: Mostly it was painful, meow. But, I did learn a lot about myself. Meow. I can be really proud of that moment. Neji: And I personally was a little turned on. Hinata: 0.o Orochimaru: Why haven't you had a seamy smex scene with Jiraiya? Zakura: Here (hands naughty pics of all women in Konoha other than sakura) Hinata: (pets) you look adorible with cat ears! (hugs) Everyone: You guys looked bored so i got to this! (give a PS2 and the game DDR and to dance pads) have fun guys! Mini Death

Orochimaru: It’s not my fault! I WANT to have steamy sex! Believe you me! Jiraiya: so do I!

Orochimaru: Really?! Jiraiya: Just not with you. Itachi: Burn. Zakura: Busy watching as the pictures flutter off the page and do cartwheels with the melting butterflies…which have now stopped melting and are instead changing colors. Hinata: umm…people are petty me…meow. Neji: I’d like to pet you… Kiba: kconk ti ffo ijeN!! Neji: I’m sorry, I don’t speak idiot. Naruto: Hey! Kiba’s smarter than me! Neji: …meaning what? Naru/Kiba: HEYYEH!! Deidara: ZOMG!! DDR!! Orochimaru: Holy crap, takes you back to the old akatsuki days, don’t it?! Itachi: I will kick your asses! For I am the dance master!! Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, and Orochimaru play DDR…on flying dance mats that keep sprouting facial feature…and the arrows are made up of monkey-tails… Hey Zakura-sama, do u when u where still inside Sakura-san ( the wrongness of that statement) and she said that being around him was so bad she would never get hot for any1? Was that u or her? Sakura-san: now if u had the choice would u bang Naruto-kun, Kabuto, or Deidara-san? * Drops muffin basket on Kakuro-san's lap*

Zakura: That was my sense of humor, for sure. We weren’t so separate then, so it’s hard to really tell. And I’d pick, Dei cuz he’s the girliest. Naruto: SA not ZA, now let’s hear what she says. –watches intentlySakura: Umm…Naruto because he’d have the most respect for me. Naruto: BOOYA!!

Sakura: But then again…Kabuto has more experience…so it might be more enjoyable. Kabuto: it it, you just wanna shag me. Sakura: Whatever. Kankuro: I SMELL MUFFINS!! -the muffins start doing an interpretive dance.Kankuro: Eeep…why are the muffins dancing?! Gaara: Wouldn’t you like to go back to sleep and forget this horror? Kankuro: -hiding from muffins- Yes… Gaara: -borrows Kurenai’s skillet- Good. ye im friends wif a popular girl! GET OVER IT! orochimaru - u ever heard of haku kazetari? he looks a hell lot like you. to any one of you nutjobs but preferably kiba - my split dk321 is getting a dog, she wants to know which is the best species.

Itachi: but popular kids SUCK. Me. Seriously. And they weren’t any good. Neji: I don’t know, Sasuke’s popular… Itachi: Well, heh, he doesn’t count. Orochimaru: No, I haven’t heard of him. This is like that Voldemort thing…I’m going to kill him. Kabuto: You don’t even know him! Orochimaru: is that supposed to make me care? Kiba: em. M’I eht tseb god reve. Shino: sure you are, love. Personally, I say get a mutt. Purebreds have problems because of incest. –Sideways glance at ItachiItachi: Must I say it? Orochimaru: I think so. Itachi: It’s JUST incest! To Hinata and 'Kaa-san: You 2 are the winners for my presents competition. I loved the thought of a nekoHina-chan. As such you 2 get 1 GIANT cake of your favorite flavor EACH. And it's just for you!

Mwahahahahahaha Itachi: I dare you to go an entire chapter without referring to yaoi or anything sex-related. Manda: How can you raise your hand when you don't have any? Jiraiya: who would you rather have sex with, Tsunade or Orochimaru?

Hinata: yee!! I want chocolate and strawberries!! Meow!! Lucifel: Spice cake with caramel icing. Mmmm. Itachi: But…I…can’t…I mean…nooo Zakura: Too bad, them’s the rules. Itachi: What will I SAY?! Zakura: Figure it out. Manda: I…managed…. Orochimaru: I’ve learned to never question him. Jiraiya: I’d prefer to have threesome. –drools…his drool makes a river that flowers bloom beside1. what does everyone prefer: muffins (blueberry, bananer nut, or otherwise) or mushrooms (edible, poisonous, or otherwise)? 2. MAFIN NO JUTSU! (muffin technique) ~assorted muffins appear out of nowhere~ in there should be a chocolate muffin for Kurenai. there are also several frappuccino-flavored muffins. If Kankuro touches a muffin he will...um...something bad will happen to him... -The Muffinator 3 PS: hi Kryah! ~waves frantically~ PS: ~pulls out viola and starts playing "Can-Can"~

Itachi: Great, a musical fan. One of the muffins starts crying at the music. The shark explodes in slow motion. Zakura: I don’t care what everyone else likes, I want lemon poppyseed. Orochimaru: I prefer ‘buns’ teehee. Itachi: I have no issue eating all of these muffins on my own in that case. Lee: You shall not! Those muffins are for all!! Muffins: Please don’t eat us… -puppy-eyesNeji: Well that’s…disturbing. JB: Anyway, I have a "present" -winks- for Naruto.-makes Naruto drink azure potion through a funnel gagSYDK:WOW! SHE'S TORTURING SOMEBODY AND IT'S NOT ME!

Naruto: AAAH!! –the potion leaks out his eyesSakura: What are you doing to Naruto! Haku: -tatses potion- apparently forcing blue-raspberry cool-aid down his throat.. Naruto: Cool-aid?! -drinks happilyAnyways, uh...What was that Dog Trainer's address again Kiba-san? Sasuke: -from another room- YOU ARE NOT TAKING ME TO A TRAINER!! I WAS HERE FIRST DAMMIT!! -yells back- IT'S NOT JUST FOR YOU, YA STUPID MOFO! Kyuubi: As you freaks can CLEARLY see, they're still fighting. -smirks- But this time, it's about me! Sasuke: Damn right it is! He ate my frickin' tomatoes, stole my candy, and left the damn coffe pot on! Kyuubi: Not to mention Kryah loves me more! Sasuke: She does not! I'M her muse. Not you, Mr. Flea-Bitten-Mutt! ...So, about that trainer Kiba-san? Or a counselor? Or, Hell, ANYBODY? Sincerely, Kryah P.S. Hi Muffinator! -waves back-

Lucifel: Oh Kryah…I love you… Naruto: Damn you Kyuubi!! Kyuubi: -the words damn you Kyuubi get spelled out in the clouds- Well that doesn’t bode well… Kiba: llew, ym mom lives in Konoha…you can find her easily, everyone knows where we live. Shino: you’re speaking normally…I think this place is fixed… Kurenai: uh-oh… -The black potion spread over everythingEveryone becomes much hornier. Orochimaru; If I had known that was a horny potion this chapter would have been a lot more interesting!! Lucifel: As it stands, I don’t like this chapter. It’s short and un-funny except for crying muffins and beards dancing with bananas…I’m sorry guys. No more writing while I’m sick, I promise. -A sushi parade marches by…Lucifel: I needs sleep….

Ask Sakura 30 Lucifel: So I have to apologize. I am healthy now, but my schedule is so weird I completely lost track of the days and well…I completely missed the update! –bonks self- and then days have been crazy busy…

Naruto: NO ONE minded. Orochimaru: I did! Things are never sexy enough without reviewers. Gaara: you’re the ONLY one who likes the reviewers, you do realize that… Sakura: I don’t mind MOST of them… Kabuto: The rest of us do. Lucifel: Anywho, the point is, I’m sorry. I’m also leaving for four weeks this Sunday… heh. I HOPEFULLY will have interweb on my laptop for that time. But I might not, I’m going to try and get that tomorrow. If not…it’ll be four weeks…ahehe. Sakura: YOU MEAN VACATION!? Lucifel: Not really, just suspended animation…and even with internet updates will be sparodic. I’ll know by Saturday and let you all know if I’ll be able to update or not. Love you all!! Let’s get this show on the road! Oh, and Becky does Taichi. O.O A.H.S: Hey guys! -Waves Picking up Chimerea's hand to wave as the pinkette twitches- This is my freind Chimeara!! C.I.A: Hn. AHS: Anyhow, Sasori! Daddy says you will sign the papers!! Zakura-san!! Daddy is giving me a new organization! -Hits her in the head with a baseball bat- A.H.S: x.x...C.I.A: -coughesAnyhow! -ruffles her hair- Like she said, Sasori, you WILL sign those papers, Zakura, you will . Ok! She has a few dares.... Another thing...Sasori...She had the baby...Which...I'm still weirded out by...It keeps staring at me smiling... Itachi: Too many fans have friends!!

Haku: Don’t be mad just because you don’t… Everyone: O.O Neji: Did Haku just….

Kiba: Is it possible for Haku to even… Zabuza: I’m…so proud…. Haku: Wait…what? No I was just saying a fact… Itachi: -twitch- I have friends… Deidara: Who? Itachi: Umm…you I thought… Deidara: Nah. Kisame loves you though, yeah. Itachi: -twitchZakura: But hey…someone knocked A.H.S. out!! Sakura: Woot! Kabuto: And I thought you liked the fans? Sakura: I said MOST. Orochimaru: What’s not to like about AHS?! Jiraiya: Yeah…-droolSaku/Zaku/Kabu: Are you kidding me?! Sasori: AGK!?! She had the baby?! Deidara: Oh…and it’s smiling, yeah. Sasori: This disgrace can not be tolerated…-preps deadly kunai- I will make sure that child never smiles again. Kiba: that is fucked up man… Zakura: Yeah, ing shit doesn’t matter because I’M STUCK IN HERE!! And no anyway…. Kabuto: what are your feelings for all the people in the room and please...Don't hold back. Orochi-sama:*gives sasuke plushie and hugs* don't ask just let me hug you. Gaara and Itachi-sama:*gives each a large asortment of fraps* and here's a question for just itachi, how much for pics of you and sasuke going at it? i'm willing to pay any price and i mean any.. Mini Death

Kabuto: I obsessively love Orochimaru, ionately hate Sasuke, I have deep respect and great care for Kimi, and the rest of the people are cool, I guess. Well, cool or stupid…

Kiba: Very descriptive. Kabuto: You’re definitely one of the stupid ones. Orochimaru: No complaints here. –hugs- Yay, I’m getting a collection. Neji: What do you think he uses those plushies for? Kiba: I don’t wanna know… Ita/Gaa: YAY!!! Kankuro: But don’t you hate the fans Gaara? Gaara: So? Kankuro: Well… Gaara: I can accept gifts and still hate. Itachi: Oh, not much. Just a few limbs and several years of servitude…or fifty bucks. Kabuto: Way to make a lot of sense. Itachi: Thanks. Naru-Chan, how does it feel to be on a genin team, with a bitch, an emo, and a teacher who favourites the emo? Dei-Dei-Chan, I decided to give you a brush for your beautiful hair, and a plushie of Saso-kun! Oh and Sasori, start being nicer to Dei-Dei-chan, after all he wasn't the one who was KILLED by a pink haired bitch and a grandma, do you know how pathetic that sounds? Gift Baskets to everyone except HINATA! June x Naruto: I thought it was pretty clear that I FUCKING HATE IT. Sakura: I’m not a bitch… Zakura: She WISHES she was so awesome. Sakura: -glaresZakura: Leave the glaring to Gaara. He knows what he’s doing. Orochimaru: -snicker- Yeah, Sasori, you really are kind of…pathetic. Sasori: Ok, that was…was…I MEANT to do that. Itachi: Riiight. Ok, well, you keep telling yourself that. Sasori: I did!!

Orochimaru: Of course you did sassy. Sasori: -sulkDeidara: -cuddles with plushie- Yay! Hairbrush! Orochi-chan, can I play with your hair? Yeah. Orochimaru: EEE!! YES!! -they run offZakura: -twitch- everyone…except…Hinata? –the gift baskets explodes- WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Everyone (except Kabuto, Sasori, Deidara and Manda) –SEETHEKiba: Someone’s getting a beat-down. Kurenai: -cracks knucklesQuestion to All: are you happy? I dare Neji and Oro to have a SLUT-OFF on Itachi's ! Zakura: If you’re happy raise your hand.

Dei/Oro/Kimi/Lee/Neji/Kiba/Shino/Haku/Zabu/Zaku/Manda/Kank: -raise handItachi: Manda did it again…. Orochimaru: Oh stop whining and let me give you a french braid. Itachi: Umm, how about ponytail braids instead? Orochimaru: sure! All the ‘manly’ men: -TWITCHZakura: Whoever’s not happy…go get laid. Sakura: How can we be happy in here?! Zakura: Look around, everyone’s who’s happy, is getting laid or enjoys suffering. Sasori: Unless it’s the suffering of having a happy child. KibaL -.- God forbid. Sasori: He didn’t…-shudderItachi: Uhm, each of you has to screw me using all the tactics in your arsenal. Neji: Deal! Orochimaru: Hell yes deal!!

Itachi: YAY!! -they go have slut-offNaruto: My quest goes well, Naruto! I have found many clues to the idenity of your father, but you must wait still, since I want to make absolutely sure, so as to not disappoint you with false information! Lee: YOSH! LEE, ME YOUTHFUL FIREND, I WILL SET ON A QUEST TO RESCUE GAI-SENSEI, SO HE MAY TRAIN US! Gaara: I give you…this! *holds up a potion* With this potion, you will be able to sleep porperly, without worrying about the Shukaku taking over and destroying you! P.S. *Hands out food that Kabuto would consider good for your mind and body to everyone* Naruto: Where are you finding these clues that I never did?!

Kiba: He’s a FANBOY they have unlimited resources. Itachi: Mostly Wikipedia. Kabuto: Or the fact that EVERYONE already knows that!! Naruto: Knows what? Kabuto: Who your dad is! Naruto: then why hasn’t anyone told me?! Everyone: -sighLee: YOSH!! THANK YOU MY GOOD MAN!! I KNOW BY THE POWER OF YOUTH YOU WILL SAVE OUR WONDERFUL GAI-SENSEI!! Itachi: Oh my god! If you two have one more of your youthful little exchanges I will rip your VOICE BOXES out!! Lee: you can rip out the voicebox of YOUTH!! Itachi” you’re going DOWN. -Chase scene!Gaara: -gasp- Where is it?! Kiba: Aww man, that drink made my stomach hurt…and all it did was taste like pit. Gaara: You’re going on the list. Kankuro: Since when don’t you outright kill people?

Gaara: The list is more intimidating. Kankuro: you need more intimidation tactics?! Gaara: Do you like being awake? Kankuro: Yes… Gaara: Then shut the fuck up. Kankuro: K. Kiba: you’re gonna take that from your LITTLE brother? Kankuro: uh, yeah. Yeah I am. Kiba: …-looks at Gaara- yeah, I don’t really blame you. Kabuto: about fucking time. Kimimaro: I want some! Zakura: And you’re the only one. *smiles realy widely* I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna jump in there! *crashes against wall* OW... So anyway since I can't get in there I'm gonna have to throw someone in there for me...YOSH!! I know who, too! *throws Ayame Sohma into the room* Ashlynn: 'Kaa-san Nii-san is hogging the computer. He's probably surfing for porn again! Ceyx: AM NOT! Baka...I swear, having a little sibling isn't all it's cracked up to be... Hinata: Can I pwease pet you? I love cats! Plus you're just so KAWAII!! To Anyone: What should I do about the little sister problem? Itachi: I dare you to listen to Classical Music the entire chapter! *all materials mysteriouly provided* Ayame: Hello everyone!!

Zakura: No! no more of you!! –starts dragging him to the windowAyame: But I brought dresses!! Oro/Ita: NO! LET HIM STAY!! –they grab him and pull him over to a corner. Ayame: Hello gentlemen!! I am Ayame Sohma! I make beautiful and luxurious dresses for gentlemen of all styles and persuasions!! Itachi: -starry eyes- you’re so my new best friend…

Ayame: Of course, of course. You know…I’m making a wedding dress for a man about your size could I…do some fitting on you? Itachi: Oh…OH GOD YES!!! Lucifel: Yay!! My children are together!! (it was Ash’s birthday on Monday, btw). It’s funny, Ashlynn was born of a concept, and Ceyx was also born just by kind of…splitting off (it’s a higher-being thing). Sakura: you are a messed up person. Lucifel I’m a little tipsy too. Sakura: you are not. Lucifel: Naw just horny. Sakura: Enough of that! Kabuto: I was gonna say that. Sakura: Oh...ehehe. Hinata: Oh….ok I guess. Teehee. Kimimaro: I’m so glad no one wants to pet me… Orochimaru: I will! Oh, and as far as little sisters go, just feed her to some sheep… Sakura: Or you could try being a good older brother. Lucifel: This is the boy who adores my “it’s just incest” line…great older brother. Sakura: that’s true. Lucifel: You say it like I wasn’t totally serious. I prefer my children to be raised openminded. Sakura: sooo messed up. Itachi: Hey, why would you do that to me?! Zakura: don’t matter. –Jams headphones on his head.amber: going to italy was fun. HT: oh boy... how high is the bounty on your head? amber: hm.. i dunno. all i know is that kyuubi wont find rome... NOW FETCH ME SOME GODDAMN COCOA!

HT: DONT START WITH THIS AGAIN!! *gets shot in the head* amber: who is the hobo? *slices hobo in half. Turns out to be tom cruise* o.O HT: WTF!? amber: dammit i dont want him!! you have him! *throws tom cruise in and he tackles sakura*

Neji: What he hell!? There is no question in there ANYWHERE!! Sakura: -after smashing in Tom Cruise’s head with Kurenai’s help- This is really all they pertaining to the room… Zakura: haha, crazy fans. Gotta love ‘em. Saku/Gaa: No I don’t! Itachi: Haha, she’s on a cocoa tirade again! Get me some! I could use a break from fraps!! Gaara: Blasphemer. Kyuubi: Dammit Amber!! I wanted Rome!!! 1. Itachi...what did you mean when you said "great, a musical fan". 2. -sends DVD of the films on and all 20 episodes of Making Fiends from I am not Amy Winfrey so I did not make the muffin films 3. I have about a gallon of Cran-Apple juice here if anyone's interested... -The Muffinator 3

Itachi: You were playing the violin. You’re a musical fan. Deidara: All done! Yeah. Ita/Oro: Yay! Braids! Haku: I have ribbons too you know… Oro/Dei: YEEEE!! Itachi: That’s pushing it… Zabuza: Who the fuck makes muffin films? Haku: -gasp- this is better than talking-animal movies! Zabuza: You’re such a weird little kid… Kiba: And you’re the one that screws him. Zabuza: Hell yes I am. Haku/Hina: Yay! Juice!

-they drink big glasses of juice, served beside a muffin platter that Gaara carefully keeps Kankuro from catching sight or sniff ofI need some advice you guys. I am friends with most of the people at my school but I am also friends with an unpopular girl. My friends don't care that I like her but when I'm with her they ignore me because they think she's weird. what should I do? I want to hang out with all of my friends. but I don't want to leave the other girl alone.

Itachi: Well, obviously one side of this is completely wrong and needs to be destroyed. Deidara: The path of least resistance is to only kill off the one girl, because there’s only one of her. Yeah. Itachi: however, everyone knows the majority is always the most corrupt, so… Orochimaru: Besides don’t settle for ONE murder when you can go complete psychokiller!! Ita/Dei: EXACTLY!...yeah. Sakura: Stop it you three!! Ita/Oro/Dei: Awww. Ayame: I see you men are into the more dark and violent side of life…I have the perfect outfits for you!! Itachi: Seriously?! Ayame: Right this way! –opens the green door and it leads to a huuuge walk-in closetLee: ACK! He kill the dojo-door! Kiba: I don’t think that thing worked to begin with… Kurenai: My advice to you would be this: You have to sit down and look at the morals of those girls, what they hold dear and important. Look at both sides carefully and see which one will be the healthiest environment for you. You’ll be much better off hanging out with just that one girl if the others aren’t any good for you. Sakura: And in my experience anyone who excludes someone before giving them a chance isn’t worth much in the long run. Zakura: Or the other girl might be a totally weirdo and you could ignore her instead… Sakura: Godammit.

Danie: Nothing?! NOTHING!? Don’t lie Hinata! –takes out a rocket launcherAnjiru: Don’t you dare do that to her! She’s cute! –shields HinataDanie: Who cares about bestiality! I wanna marry Kimimaro! He’s uber cute as a cat and it won’t be bad anyway, you’ll still stay there though… Anjiru: Wait! I have a dare for you guys! I want each and everyone of you to… makeout with your most hated person! And you can’t makeout with someone else because I have a list! Danie: Anyway, Kimi! How can I convince you?! What must I do?! From, Danie and Anjiru

Hinata: Ahh!! Kiba: -lunges at D&A- GRAH!! –hits head on computer screen- Owww. Kurenai: Smooth, pup. Kiba: -whimperKimimaro: Starting to wish I was a cat again… Kabuto: Haha, I bet you do. Kimimaro: -glareKabuto: Gah! Oh, ha! The people I hate aren’t even HERE!! Jiraiya: Wait! Wait! I hate…uh…Kurenai! I hate Kurenai! Kurenai: -skillet-bash- Nice try. Deidara: I don’t wanna make out with her! She’s evil!! Sasori: NOOO! She’ll have your baby too! Deidara: Nooo!! Zakura: Oh, knock it off. –pushes Dei into A.H.S’s roomSaku/Zaku: NOOOOMPF. Yay! Lesbian-twin-make-outs!! Jiraiya: I can’t breath through my own blood!! Naruto: ACK! Orochimaru: Ewww…. Itachi: Don’t do it Oro!

Orochimaru: Eh, you should try everything once. –shrugs and makes out with NaruItachi: Oh god… Hinata: -breathes a sigh of relief at Kyuubi’s absenceKabuto: So anyway, what can she do to convince you? -Gaara runs by in the background screaming profanities and trying to avoid the fans to whom he owes make-outsKimimaro: Nothing! Orochimaru: Manda, don’t you owe— Manda: NO! –hisss- first person to try is my next meal. Gaara: And what Lee said doesn’t count! He is not allowed to make out with everyone! Lee: Aww… Gaara: Don’t you ‘aww’ it’s for your own good. Itachi: You jealous bastard. I'm listening to a pirate cd so how about a pirate costume a renaisance european dress (so one of you can play the captive) and... I can't think so a sexy chinese dress. hey you can be a shanghai pirate or something I would also like to say "it's just insects" heh heh I like insects heh

Lucifel: That’s MY pirate CD you little thief! Sakura: This isn’t the time for sibling nonsense…. Kiba: If you were an only child you would know, there’s ALWAYS time. Neji: amen! Itachi: Fuck yes! I always have time for little Sasuke… Sakura: Ok! Creepy! NO!! Itachi: We’ve been doing this for six months now and you’re still freaking out? What’s wrong with you…? Sakura: I just have this little thing against incest is all…-glower-

Itachi: Freak. Ayame: EEE!! Costumes! I can tailor these to fit whoever wants them!! Orochimaru: Itachi should be the pirate because he wears eyeliner!! Deidara: Then I get the renaissance dress! Yeah! Orochimaru: I’ll be the shanghai pirate aka Itachi’s sexy lover!! Itachi: W00T!! -They go hide in the closet to get changed. No one else has managed to giggle so much while doing so.Sakura: Lucy, you’re sister a bestiality freak. Shino: -twitch- stay away from beloved bugs you freak. Lucifel: -.- it’s not like THAT….is it? Ayame: This’ll look so CUTE!! Deidara: I’ve never worn such a luxurious dress! Yeah! Hinata - i saw a deviantart thingy and apperently a c cup bra is too small for u. is that true? Shino - wot sort of shock would u get to crack ur shades? Neji - apparently hanabi is the spoilt brat figure. is this true??

Hinata: -bluuush- W-well I am a…a… Zakura: You are NOT an a-cup. Hinata: I know…this is embarrassing…I’m a D. Zaku/Jira: -twitchy nosebleedKurenai: So am I? So what? Real women have curves. Jiraiya: -faintKiba: =O Shino: Stop having dirty thoughts about our sensei and our team-mate. Kiba: B-but, there are probably only two girls in all Konoha with boobs so big…and I’m near them BOTH.

Shino: So is your boyfriend, you dick. Kiba: Hehe, love you babe. Shino: Seeing as how I haven’t been able to WEAR my sunglasses since…I don’t even know which chapter, it’s hard to tell. My eyes hurt, btw. Kiba: Awww. –kisses eyesNeji/Hina: OH YEAH. Hinata: -blush- Well, she’s not really that bad… Neji: Hell yes she is! It’s ridiculous! She thinks just cuz she’s so young she thinks the world is hers! Bitch. Hinata: And she scares me. Ita/Oro/Dei: -BURST OUT OF THE CLOSET!!!Sasori: Those fags were out of the closet ages ago. Itachi: -brandishing a saber- Avast ye scurvy dogs! We be running this place now! Sakura: I have the horrible feeling of a pirate theme looming… Lucifel: Sooo….Thursday…this is really embarrassing. Thanks to everyone who sent me well-wishes! I really appreciated it! It helped so much! Also, I’m really gonna try to get this internet thing taken care of! I want to be able to update! I really do! I love you all!

Ask Sakura’s Summer Vacation Hey everyone. This is Lucifel, your maniacal host. I apologize but my laptop and each and every wireless card we tried are not getting along. This means four weeks without Ask Sakura. This also means four weeks for me without you amazingly hilarious and perverted people!! I’ll miss you all! Things that give you a reason to come back: The next chapter is pirate themed!! Kyuubi will return when I do!! The Red Potions will be used!! Gaara may or may not confess his feelings for Lee!! Sasuke may or may not show up!! Orochimaru and Jiraiya may or may not finally have steamy sex in the frap pool!! (Sorry Danie and Anjiru) Kiba and Shino may or may not get in another argument!! One of those four things is guaranteed to happen!! So, please return JUNE 25 for the next hilarious, sexy, perverted, weirder than a redneck-family-reunion installment of Ask Sakura!! Much love!! Angel Lucifel

Ask Sakura 31 I’m back my lovelies!! Sorry I didn’t update right away but I had people and webcomics to catch up with. Heh. Vacation was lovely but I missed you all very much and am very happy to be back on the job! So, now being relaxed and refreshed I bring you Pirates of Ask Sakura: Petty Arguments Itachi and Deidara stand over Orochimaru, who is tied to the mast that suddenly appeared in the middle of the room. The room, by the way, is nowb pirate-themed. Rough wood for floor and walls, sails hanging off the walls and half-way down from the ceiling. Port-hole windows much too small to jump out of also dot the walls. Anywho, yeah, Orochimaru’s tied up… Sakura: Wasn’t Deidara the girl? Ayame: I talked them into switching. The dress complimented Orochimaru’s skin-tone more. Sakura: Oh whatever. Neji: -tilting head- no I see where he’s coming from… Itachi: So, young laddie… Orochimaru: Please, it’s lassie. Ita/Dei: -confused look- Wtf? Jiraiya: When did you turn back? Orochimaru: I didn’t. It’s role-playing. I am in the woman’s costume… Haku: so?

Zabuza: -pat-patDeidara: I’m a guy in a dress… Orochimaru: Well. I wanna be a woman. Ita/Dei: -shrugItachi: So as I was saying young missy, yer our prisoner now, and yer to do whatever I say. Orochimaru: Never! I am a proper young lady! I will perform no horrible act you filthy pirates ask of me. Kurenai: That’s news to me… Orochimaru: roleplaying. Hello!! Kurenai: but still, to put your basic need for lust aside for the sake of that… Orochimaru: after taking over/destroying the world my greatest dream was to be an actor. Kiba: Well he is gay enough…. Itachi:-scowl- Enough out of the ship-rats! Kiba: Hey! At least call me a dog. Shino: -rolls eyesItachi: -putting the point of his saber to Kiba’s throat- The next man or lady caught speakin’ outta term will be thrown off the plank! Shikamaru: There’s a plank? Itachi: -kicks open the door to the pool room, there is now a plank at the far end of a DEEEEP pool which appears to be infested with sharksItachi: -whistles- that’s convenient… Shikamaru: Uh…nevermind… Deidara: Wasn’t that jus’ speakin’ outta term, yeah? Itachi: I believe yer right, first mate.

Deidara: I’M THE FIRST MATE?! YEEE!! –hugs ItachiKurenai: How pirate-like… Itachi: -swings saber at herKurenai: -dodges- WTF?!? Itachi: I told ye’ all to be holdin yer tongues din’ I? Deidara: -still hugging- Aye, that ye did cap’n. Itachi: ….ye may want to stop huggin’ me, Dei. It’s ruinin’ the effect… Deidara: -straightening to board-like posture- Aye cap’n. Neji-san- y r u such a slut? Jiraya-sama: O.o *snaps pic* the drunken dancer's going on the net, does that mean u would do Oro along w/ Tsunade-sama?

Neji: Have you ever tried it? It’s SO fucking fun. Itachi: -smirk- Aye, that it is. –pulls Neji to his side- Which is why you’re the official ship’s whore. Neji: I get to fuck pirates?! RIGHT ON!! Deidara: I want to sleep with the captain!!! Itachi: No duh, the firs’ mate always does. Deidara: -puppy eyes- Do I get to? Itachi: Agin, duh. Jiraiya: Well…-looks at Oro in sexy Victorian dress- Well… Kurenai: -rolls eyes- Separate, together, after they’re dead, whatever. He’s just desperate to get laid. Jiraiya: Hey! Necrophilia is one of the few things I do not condone! Kurenai: Pedophilia? Jiraiya: After age Thirteen, sure. Kurenai: Incest?

Jiraiya: I draw the line only at parent/child Kurenai: Beastiality? Itachi: Depends. How intelligent a beast are we talking? Kurenai: 0.o Jiraiya: I’m KIDDING!! Naruto: GAAAAAAH!!! MENTAL IMAGES OF JIRAIYA AND GAMA OYABUN!! MAKE THE BURNING STOP!!! Zabuza: -water-jutsus NarutoNaruto: BLLUURGLE!! -Naru gets washed up against the wall beside Zabu and HakuZabuza: Better? Naruto: Garble… Haku: Oh…poor Naruto…-hugsNaruto: -BLUSHZabuza: -glareItachi: YOU!! Zabuza: Me? Itachi: Yea, you. I could use ye aboard my ship. Interested? Zabuza: Nnnnno… Itachi: GOOD! You start immediately! Zabuza: Um, hell no. Haku: -sigh- pirates are so sexy… Zabu/Naru: SIGN ME UP!! Zabuza: -twitchy glance at Naruto-

Naruto: -nervous laughter- Um…hopefully Sakura thinks the same? Zabuza: You’re going to DIE kiddo… Haku: NO!! I like Naruto! Zabuza: Fine. –glares at Naruto and stalks over to ItachiGaara who exactly is on your list? Sasori I say it again you are PATHETIC! you did it on purpose, phst, load of crap. I sympathise with your kid for having a father like you, A.H.S. should totally bring him up to kick your ass! Gift baskets for Deidara, Gaara and Itachi coz they are cool! June x

Gaara: … Kiba: You forgot didn’t you. Gaara: No. Shut up. I’m being a badass. –Silent glaringKiba: …right. Sasori: God, What’s wrong with you fans? No one understands me! Itachi: you! Emo-scourge! Sasori: Emo scourge? Itachi: Aye. That’s cert’nly what ye are. Sasori: Hey… Itachi: I need someone to watch from the crow’s nest, you can do it. Sasori: Excuse me? Itachi: Try not to throw yourself from it ok? Sasori: I’m not e— Itachi: Git to the crow’s nest. Sasori: Fine, sure…wait…do we have one? Itachi: umm…just…go to the tower of used frappucinno crates over there. Sasori: K…I’m bored anyway.

Ayame: I’ll go make more costumes! Gaara: hey! Giftbaskets! Deidara: Can we have a time out? Itachi: Um, hell yeah. while my computer was busted I took over Earth...who wants gold

Itachi: A pirate plunders his own gold!! Deidara: I’ll take some! Yeah! Itachi: Shame on you. -Hands Itachi his manicure set.- Thought that might go with the dresses. C.I.A: -Sweatdrops and picks up the toddler.- I dare someone to lock Sakura, Kabuto and Oro in a closet for the whole chapter!! Oh yeah! Manda!! Can I sign your contract...?

Itachi: Firs’ mate!! Deidara: Yessir? Yeah? Itachi: -hands manicure set- put this in with our treasure chest…lock it up tight. Deidara: Yessir.. Itachi: and mate? Deidara: Y-yessir… Itachi: I see the look in your eye. Don’t go getting your clay-stained hands in MY manicure set. Deidara: Can we…can we have a manicure party later sir? Yeah? Itachi: If you’re good. Deidara: Oh THANK YOU sir, yeah!! –skips off to put the manicure set in the dojoclosetZabuza: While you’ve got it open… -shoves Kabuto, Sakura and Orochimaru into the closetEveryone: 0.o Zabuza: What? I like pain and suffering as much as the next guy.

Itachi: -teary-eyed- I’m so glad I hired him…but… Deidara: the captive…yeah Itachi: Dammit. Ayame: where am I gonna make Sasori’s costume? Sasori: why don’t you not? Manda: Zzzz—snrk. Wh-what? Oh sure whatever. First shipment by Thursday and then once a month after that and for any special favors you want. Which I have a .00000001 percent chance of actually doing. Jiraiya: this is why I picked frogs. Itachi: *Evil pyscho glint in eyes* Threaten me will you? You do relize that when I take you onto the satilette, I can take away your dresses, your photo albums, burn everything you own of Sasuke, and even put you in a room that leaks anit-incest gas, right? Lee: YOSH! I HAVE RESCUED GAI-SENSEI, AND AM KEEPING HIM HERE UNTIL HE IS COMPLETLY OUT OF HARMS WAY! HE SENDS YOU GREETINGS! YOSH! DO NOT LOSE THE PATH OF A GENIUS OF HARD WORK! STAY YOUTHFUL! Gaara: Don't worry Gaara, I made plenty of the sleep potions...*Hands him a case of it* And this one comes with an anti-no-touch-unless-your-Jaden-or-Gaara shield.

Itachi: -twitch- I do believe I been threatened… Diedara: So um, what should I be doing about that? Yeah? Itachi: Forget the prisoner for now…we’re launching an attack!! Zabuza: Oh are we? Itachi: Aye! Launch the Gumdrop Queen!! Zabu/Dei: what? Itachi: Well…it sounded like a good name at the time… Zabuza: Well, I’m hereby launching Hell’s Mistress. –smashes wine bottle on the floorItachi: …I still think it was a good name... Deidara: well, I know you’re captian and all but…I have to say Zabuza’s, yeah…well, it’s not that it’s better it’s just… Itachi: -raises eyebrow-

Zabuza: -raises eyebrowDeidara: More threatening! ..Yeah! Zabuza: No shit Sherlock. Itachi: ………fine! But to me she’ll always be the gumdrop Queen… Sakura: THERE IS NO SHIP!!! Zakura: FUCKING DAMMIT!! Sakura: …what? Zakura: Well, you weren’t going to swear… Lee: I am forever in your debt! Keep him well and safe! Careful of his hugs! Only the greatest can take them without breaking some ribs!! Kurenai: -shiversKiba: Way…way too freaky… Shino/Hina: -nod, nodGaara: YESS!! I CAN SLEEP!! –downs ALL the potions- Wow I’m tired. –collapses.Lee: Oh! Gaara! –picks him up and puts him on the bed.Gaara: -thrashes about in his sleep- I love you…I love you… Lee: Naruto! Isn’t it sweet…even Gaara is in love with someone! Naruto: Heh, that’s cool…so long as it’s not me. Lee: I bet it’s a secret! Like Hinata’s love! Naruto: It’ll always be a big old mystery huh Lee? Shikamaru: …oh my god… 1. um...-bowl of already prepared instant ramen with a pair of bamboo chopsticks suddenly appear beside Naruto- that's for you Naruto-kun...don't worry about me, I have my own ramen right here. 2. ITACHI!! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR TUSH!! I PLAY THE VIOLA NOT THE STINKIN' VIOLIN!! GET IT RIGHT!! VIOLA! VIOLA! 3. Gaara...what happens to Kankuro when he eats a muffin and why? -The Muffinator 3

Naruto: Ramenramenramenramenramen…

Jiraiya: I’m cutting you off… Naruto: NOOOO!! Jiraiya: Enough is enough… Naruto: Yeah, and not enough is not enough! GIMME!! -Meanwhile in the closetOrochimaru: hmm, for a walk-in closet it’s not very big… Sakura: no you’re just managing to fit Kabuto and yourself into one inch of a corner… Orochimaru: Oh...teehee…do you mind Kabuto? Kabuto: -blush- Not really… Sakura: -in the other corner- Of course he doesn’t! He enjoys being your whore more than anything in the world. Orochimaru: Aww, -snugglesKabuto: Umm…yeah…-blush, embarrassed glance at SakuraSakura: -flips the fingerKabuto: -glaresOrochimaru: - :3 – -back in the roomItachi: If ye hold it under yer chin and play it with yer fingers and bow it doesn’t fuckin’ matter what ye fucking call it. Deidara: Actually you’d be surprised how much it actually changes— Itachi: do ye want to walk the damn plank?! Deidara: N-no sir…yeah… Itachi: YEAH?! Deidara: NO!!

Itachi: Ok…well hoist anchor so we can get this attack underway! Zabuza: What exactly are we attacking again? Itachi: Does it matter? We’re launching an attack! Zabuza: What a great fucking captain… Ayame: I made you a costume Zabuza! Zabuza: I’m not wearing any of your…your…-looks at the completely bad-ass pants and leather vest with knee-high tough old boots- Give me that. –grabs it.Gaara: snrrgk… Kankuro: I don’t think anything happens… Gaara: -still sleeping- NO!! Don’t give it to him! Kiba: -snrk- give who what exactly? Gaara: He’s mine… Kankuro: wow Gaara… Shikamaru: Kankuro he’s NOT talking about you. Kankuro: Well who do you think he’s talking about smartass? Shikamaru: I KNOW! Everyone besides you and the other several dunces in this room already knows! How can you all be so dense?! Kiba: You…uh…feeling a little frustrated there Shikamaru? Shikamaru: …no. No not at all. –stalks offNeji: For how small this room is a lot of people have managed to stalk off… Shino: yeah well, Manda raises his hand so… Neji: Yeah… Itachi: who won the slut-off? Besides you... Gives everybody a large, mysterious demonic artifact: I found this and couldn't sell it at my family's garage sale, so here you go. It probably does something evil when it works, but who knows, it might grant wishes. I'm sorry... I can't resist... (throws Monkey D. Luffy into the room and laughs maniacally)

Itachi: Oh yea…I was supposed to choose a winner ey? Neji: -leans forward intentlyItachi: I done forget, I’ll have to see agin so I can properly judge. Neji: -pouncesZakura: … Sakura: what? Zakura: these red potions have sat around long enough, let’s use one. Sakura: On who? Zakura: One of the old people. They’re expendable. Jiraiya: Hey! Kiba: …aren’t you offended Kurenai? Kurenai: Are you implying I’m old Kiba? Kiba: Well…you are. Kurenai: -twitchKiba: Meep. Kurenai: give it to Jiraiya, he’s the one we want around the least. Naruto: I want him around! Kurenai: Careful, kid, you are over thirteen. Naruto: EWWW!! Jiraiya: -blank lookNaruto: Umm…ero-sennin? –pokeJiraiya: Oh, yeah, eww. Naruto: =O

Orochimaru: -dashes out of closet- I’ll give it to him!! Zabuza: Who said you could come out of the closet? And if any one makes the joke I’ll kill them. Orochimaru: I’ve always been out of closet. Zabuza: I said— Orochimaru: It wasn’t a joke!! –ducks away and runs over to Jiraiya- Hello Jira-chan!! Jiraiya: Hi… Orochimaru: Are you drinking anything right now? Jiraiya: just this. –holds up sake jarOrochimaru: PERFECT!! –takes jar and right in front of Jira, takes Jira’s red potion and pours it into his sake.- Here you go!! Kurenai: Oh come on, he’s stupid but not that— Jiraiya: -drinks upKurenai: O.O Zakura: I think you stand corrected. Shikamaru: So who’s gonna take the artifact? Itachi: Eh, you can have it. Shikamaru: Are you serious? Itachi: HELL NO!! –snatches artifact- I wonder what it does. Kiba: Maybe it’s a kind of Viagra. Naruto: like Viagra falls? Everyone: O.o Kurenai: it’s Niagara falls, Naruto. Kiba: How come no one pronounces that second a?

Shikamaru: because they’re American. Zakura: Well, give them the benefit of the doubt. It’s half Canada too. Lucifel: And I am not American! I’m United Statesian. Luffy: HEY GUYS! Zakura: -kicks him out the window, but he grabs the sill and sling-shots back in.Everyone: whoa. Neji: I wonder what else he can stretch. Luffy: I can stretch everything on my body! Itachi: -grin- welcome aboard the gum— Zabuza: Hell’s Mistress. And Welcome off. –throws in the shark-poolItachi: NO! Why did you do that?! Zabuza: Why shouldn’t I have? Itachi: Because he could stretch… Zabuza: Oh shut up you pervert. (is surrounded by very hot guys between 16 and 25 in age and either have animal ears and a tail or are human) Lucifel: would you like some of the guys? some of them like to get out alot and i'm sure you have plenty of room for them. Kankuro:i dare you to take off your face paint and hat! everyone else: i was thinking for selling some of them off to other people and maybe even a cople of animes. should i do it? Mini Death

Lucifel: HELL YEAH!!! –buys fiveKankuro: -gasp- I…I can’t. Lee: Why not? Knakuro: I just can’t! Naruto: Why not? Kankuro: Cuz my back is aching and my belt’s too tight! And my hips keep shaking from the left…to the right!

Zabu/Ita/Kure/Man/Jira/Sas/Shika: -abject horrorHaku: I know that rhyme! Zabuza: -glareHaku: But I won’t in. Gaara: No! I don’t want the cigars! Lee: What in the world is he dreaming about? GASP! Maybe the cigars are significant of his fading youth! NO GAARA! YOU ARE YOUTHFUL YET!! Naruto: Calm down, he sleep talks a lot…about cigars…don’t ask why. Kankuro: -nods in agreementLee: How strange. Zakura: So…your hat and make-up Kankuro? Kankuro: you don’t want me to. Zakura: why not. Kankruo: Bad things happen… Zakura: Oh come on, you can’t be that ugly. Kankuro: All right… -removes hat and make-upAll the women: -Gasp! Swoon! Blush! Giggle!Zakura: But I’m…I’m lesbian… Kurenai: and I’m not a pedophile, but DAYUM boy. Kankuro: -sighNaruto: sigh? SIGH?! Kankuro: I don’t like all this female attention. Shikamaru: So you’re gay?

Kankuro: no. I just only like one girl. Shikamaru: Ok. Kankuro: Temari. Shikamaru: I DIDN’T ASK!!! Kimimaro: I don’t think you should sell them. Speaking from the point of view of a newly-turned cat-boy I can tell you we’re just as human as everyone else and have just as many rights. Orochimaru: Except you cuz you belong to me. Kimimaro: …right… Itachi: Prisoner! You will not hide away again! Jiraiya: That’s right she wont! Because from now on, this is mine!! –snatches up Orochimaru and kisses ionatelyEveryone: =O Orochimaru: O.o -long pauseOrochimaru: Jiraiya…I…wow… Ayame: -hands Jiraiya a swash-buckler outfit which is immediately upon himJiraiya: that’s right you pirate scourge! You stole my fair lady once, and ye’ll not have her back now! Orochimaru: What’s this all about? Jiraiya: I felt like having some fun! Is that a problem, darling? Orochimaru: Darling? Jiraiya: Yes? Orochimaru: YEE! –hugsZakura: Oh. It was a love potion.

Kabuto: -leaning out of the closet- O.0 Sakura: -snort- well, that’s a bitch for you, isn’t it Kabuto? Kabuto: you shut up. -Kyuubi and Sasuke are hogtied and gagged in the backgroundJust wanted to say goodbye! ...Would you believe that Rome was restored in a day? -Kyuubi cackles gleefully through gagSincerely, Kryah

Orochimaru: I wonder how Rome was… Kyuubi: Fuckin’ amazing. Everyone: KYUUBI!! Kyuubi: …you’re happy to see me…? Itachi: Half of that was moans, I think… Kyuubi: Only half? Oh well. Oi, Jiraiya. Jiraiya: Yessir? Orochimaru: Yessir? Kyuubi: Hoist the sail of The Mistress of Hell. Captain Itachi looks ready to attack. Ita/Zabu: HEY WAIT!! Itachi: Why are you on his side? Zabuza: That’s MY name! Kyuubi: He needs a bad-ass captain. –shrugs- And I had planned to call my ship that long before you named your stupid ship! Zabuza: NO you didn’t you liar! Itachi: Yours sounds dumber! Jiraiya: Does not! Itachi: does too! Jiraiya: DOES NOT!!

Itachi: DOES TOO!! Zabu/Kyuu: BOYS!! Ita/Jira: What? Zabu/Kyuu: Knock it off! Ita/Jira: Yessir. Itachi: HEY! I’M the captain!! Zabuza: The hell you are! Itachi: I AM!! –whinesDeidara: I’ll be everyone’s bitch! Sasori: Loyal my ass! Deidara: I TOLD you! I’m doing this cuz you ignore me yeah! Sasori: I ignore you because you’re a slut! Deidara: If I wasn’t a slut would you love me? Yeah? Sasori: …no. Deidara: -whimperAyame: I made outfits for everyone on the ships! Kyuubi: Sweet-ass. –becomes trussed up in an all-leather black piratey ensemble.I'll give you all food and... RUM! Lots of rum.. Oh! By the way! -throws an undead monkey in the room, and provides everybody with swords and gunsARR! Have fun! Krisse

Zabuza: -tries rum- … -guzzles rumKyuubi: Who do you think you are? That rum is going on MY ship! Zabuza: The hell it is! Haku: Look, Zabuza-san! I’ve got a pirate costume too!

Zabuza: -gapes at Haku’s childish sexiness.Kyuubi: -steals rumItachi: Ack! The child is a traitor!! Haku: no I’m not…I’m just trying to be sexy for Zabuza-san… Itachi: Lies! Throw him off the plank! Zabuza: -twitch- Itachi. What did you just say? Itachi: I said we must throw the traitor child off the plank!!! –scrambles for HakuZabuza: -pounds Itachi into pulpHaku: Zabuza-san…you needn’t be violent for me… Zabuza: -abandons the squished Itachi to kiss Haku ionatelyAyame: Yee! Makes me miss yuki!! Itachi: -while trying to reassemble himself- who’s Yuki? Ayame: My little brother… Itachi: Awesome. You screw your brother too? Ayame: You bet! Meanwhile: Yuki: -while doing a steamy threesome with Kyo and Haru- Ack! I have the horrible feeling my brother is lying again. Kyo: But I walked in on you guys doing it! Yuki: that was practically rape! Haru: you were on top part of the time! Yuki: Well…just cause it’s rape doesn’t make it unsexy… Ayame: Oh my sweet little brother… Undead Monkey: SQUAWK!!

Itachi: Umm…you’re a monkey…monkeys don’t squawk. They Screech. Undead Monkey: Fuck you man, I’m a parrot. SQUAWK! CRACKER! Everyone: …umm… Hinata: I think he’s cute. Undead Monkey: Hello! Goodbye! CRACKER!! –jumps to Hinata’s shoulderHinata: teehee. Kiba: Hinata…it’s a zombie monkey. Hinata: So? He’s cute! Undead Monkey: -gives Kiba the fingerKiba: Did you see that! DID YOU SEE THAT?! Hinata: Please, Kiba, I’m sure he doesn’t even know what it means. His old master was probably a horrible man who taught him that. Kiba: Whatever…I’m watching you monkey. Undead Monkey: -turns his back to Kiba and fartsKiba: WHY YOU!! –Lunges but Shino holds him backHinata: What should we name you hmm? Undead Monkey: SCRAWK! Polly wants a CRACKER!!!! Hinata: Hee, Polly then. Kyuubi: Wanna be part of my crew? You and your…parrot? Hinata: oh…umm… Polly: CANNONS TO THE PORT!!!! Hinata: I guess so… Ayame: YEE! Girl costumes to be made!

Everyone: WEAPONS!!!! -Free for all to grab the weaponsHT:AYAME-SAN! YOUR SO AWSOME! I LUVS YOU! amber: HEY!! WHERES MY COCOA!? HT: FINE ILL GET ITACHI AND YOU SOME COCOA!! amber: what? do you WANT questions? ok. WHATS EVERYONE'S FAVORITE TYPE OF COOKIE!?? HT: o.O amber: your baking the all cookies! i need to know thier favorite types. HT: dammit! amber: oh, whats your favorite ice cream too?

Ayame: I love you too! Kimimaro: Do you even know who they are? Ayame: I’m sure I’d love them. Kimimaro: …right. Zabuza: Pirates don’t eat cookies! Haku: I want white chocolate chip! Zabuza: …I suppose we can get a couple… Polly: CRACKER COOKIES!! Zakura: Why don’t you just send us an assortment of…every cookie you know of and can imagine. Everyone: YAY!! Hinata: Won’t we over-work HT? Everyone: … Kurenai: …no one cares, sweetie. Hinata: That’s horrible! Kurenai: But true. Zakura: You can do the same thing with the ice cream. Now I have scheming to do… Kurenai: What kind of scheming?

Zakura: Did I say that out loud? Shit. Well, I won’t tell anyone what you heard if you give me your red potion. Kurenai: Oh, really? Thanks, it’s a deal. Zakura: -walks off with red potionKurenai: …wait a minute… 1.Lee: HA! Nobody will ever rescue Gai-sensei! 2.Zakura: -blush3.Luciful- I added you to my favorite author list!

Itachi: Agin with the lack of questions!! We have no need for useless blather! TO THE PLANK! Zabuza: With who? Jadebird is safely tucked away in Park Falls Wisconsin. Itachi: …how do you know where the fans live? Zabuza: …magic. Itachi: Really? Zabuza: Sure. Kurenai: -still confusedZakura: Who’d I make blush? Kiba: What are you gonna do with that potion? Zakura: -sneakily glancing at Hinata- Nothing… Kiba: …K, whatever. YAY!! oh well, 4 weeks w/o Jiraya-sama getting his head bashed...T-T um...yeah Kimimaro-kun is adorable... Cookies 4 every1

Itachi: AGIN! AGIN THEY HAVE NO QUESTIONS!! Kimimaro: Aww, thanks for the compliment. –rubs cat-earsZabuza: There are more important issues at hand, “cap’n” Kyuubi: So, anyway, Zabuza, it’s obvious neither of us are fully prepared for a battle. Zabuza: Aye, we need full crews.

Kyuubi: Only one way to do it. Zabuza: Yep. Everyone not on a ship line up at the back wall!! -everyone obligesKyuubi: I pick Lee. Lee: YOSH!! –runs overZabuza: I pick— Jiraiya: Wait a minute! It’s not fair if we do it this was because you already have more people than us! Zabuza: -rolls eyes- Fine, pick another person. Kyuubi: Nice. Naruto. Naruto: I don’t wanna be on your team! Kyuubi: Get your ass over here kit! Naruto: I don’t— Kyuubi: NOW! Naruto: meep. –Scampers overItachi: It’s our turn now dangit! Gaara! Zabuza: …nice job dumbass. The kid’s asleep. Itachi: …dammit. Kyuubi: Shikamaru Shikamaru: I want nothing to do with your— Kyuubi: Boy. You’re smart, that’s why I picked you. Now, what would getting on my bad side be? Shikamaru: …stupid… Kyuubi: exactly. So?

Shikamaru: grumble…-walks overItachi: Zakura. Zakura: Sorry, I have too much power. I can’t be picked. Itachi: Ugh, fine. Kimi. Kimimaro: -shrugs and saunters overKyuubi: Kabuto. Itachi: Stop picking all the smart people!! Zabuza: You’re the one who’s doing the bad picking. And Kabuto’s in the closet. Kyuubi: Too bad. Get out here four eyes. Kabuto: I’ve been out for a while now. Kyuubi: Well…whatever. Sakura: -scowls at KabutoZakura: Eww, you two got it on again didn’t you? Sakura: No. Zakura: That’s the real problem, innit? Sakura: I hate you. Zabuza: Shino. Kyuubi: Kiba. Kiba/Shino: HEY! Kyuubi: Oh get over it. Kiba: But…but I don’t wanna… Shino: I’m not gonna fight with my boyfriend! Kyuubi: Suck it up and treat it like any argument with him.

Shino: …but I’m not mad at him right now. Kyuubi: -growlZabuza: Geez. Kiba, do you think Kurenai’s hot? Kiba: Hell yeah! Have you SEEN that body? And I mean she’s an older woman, so YOW, who wouldn’t wanna hit that? …aw shit. Shino: You’re going DOWN mutt. Kurenai: -horrifiedItachi: Kankuro. Kyuubi: Kurenai. Itachi: Well, I guess that’s it. Unless Manda wants to… Manda: No. Itachi: Oook then. Sakura: But…but hey! No one picked me! Itachi: Yeah, and? Sakura: But…I… Kyuubi: No one wants you on their crew. Women are bad luck. Sakura: You have Kurenai! Kyuubi: Yeah but she’s a good fighter. Sakura: -sniffleKabuto: -sympathetic glanceKyuubi: None of that from you, you and Shikamaru have planning to do. Shikamaru: Planning? What the hell, they’re right there, we wont have time for planning! Itachi: Oh please, we have to have a proper approach scene first. We’ve got a couple days of sailing yet.

Jiraiya: Exactly. Kyuubi: Whatever. I need to find someone to do some serious wenching with. Itachi: HA! I have all the whores! Kyuubi: …Well, I have Kurenai. Kurenai: EXCUSE ME? Kyuubi: Eh…yeah, not my type. Naruto, you’ll have to do. Naruto: WHAT?! NONONONONO!!! –Hyperventilates to unconsciousnessOrochimaru: This was your only goal in that wasn’t it? Kyuubi: -smirking at the drooling Naruto- Heh, yeah. Anyway since there is a pirate theme coming up I will tell you my horrible pirate joke: Q: What is the Pirate Alphabet made up of? A: (I) Aye, (R) Arr, and (A)Aye which means that not only are all Pirates Catholics, but they're Irish nationalist terrorists.

-Crickets chirpItachi: So… Zabuza: Yeah… Kyuubi: Who votes we ignore the kid and move on? Everyone: -raises handThough I doubt this will actually make it up there. I'll ask NORMAL questions!

Everyone: YAY! Naruto: Are those whiskers just there or are they sensitive and stuff? Itachi: What are those LINE thingys anyways?! Oh and lol "Hollaback girl" (from ultimate Naruto Fan Flashs) I can no longer listen to that song without laughing my butt off and scaring random standbyers. thanks. Kankuro: Is that face paint or make up? (I think the latter)

Naruto: What whiskers? Kyuubi: -pulls out whiskerNaruto: YOW!! What the hell! Don’t pull my facial hair man! Kiba: It that what you tell yourself it is?

Shino: Yeah like how you pretend those triangles aren’t just a bad blush-job. Kiba: …I am gonna take you out buggy. Shino: -gives Kiba an “I dare you” glareKiba: Ngg…dammit why must you keep being sexy!?!? Shino: :p Itachi: Lines…LINES??!?! –runs to the mirror- where?! Zabuza: roughly jabs and traces the linesItachi: Oh those? I dunno, its just a couple doodle-things Kishimoto-san decided to add on. They make me look imposing. Zabuza: And old. Itachi: I AM YOUNG AND BEAUTIFUL DAMMIT!! And hollaback is a great song. :3 Kankuro: A little of both. Please don’t make me take it off again… Girls: PLEASE MAKE HIM TAKE IT OFF!! Kankuro: I don’t want female attention! –hides behind the ‘crow’s nest’Jiraiya: I feel your pain young man! You can our crew later! Kurenai: Oh…you’ll feel pain… now now Ceyx, you know the rules: 'no feeding of any siblings to sheeps' -turns to Orochi- and blast the bilge rat who suggested the harm of mine daughter. now yer haf'ta walk the plank with a set of chains bound to your feet. hahaha...unless, we make a trade. what have ye to offer that fares enough worth for yer life? p.s. i got this for you. found it sitting neatly round a plump lady's neck as we were pillaging the ship. thought it would look better on you -hands Lucy a sapphire pendantp.s.p.s. rum for everybody! drink up me hearties yo ho

Orochimaru: But sheep require young girls for feeding! Kiba: I…thought they ate grass… Orochimaru: Only when people are looking. Kiba: -twitch-

Orochimaru: Sexual favors. Jiraiya: Excuse me? All your sexual favors are belong to ME. Orochimaru: YEE!! –pouncesKyuubi: We don’t have time for that now. We’re closing in on them! Sakura: YOU’RE IN THE SAME DAMN ROOM!! Kyuubi: Geez get an imagination bitch. Lucifel: YEE! NECKLACE! Zabuza: THESE pirates don’t sing. Haku: -whispers to the fans- Zabuza-san is tone-deaf, teehee. He only sings when he’s REALLY drunk… Itachi: Let’s drink! –Holds up rumPolly: YO HO HO!! BOTTLE OF BLOOD! Hinata: Teehee. Everyone else: O.o Kyuubi: Truce so everyone can slammed on rum? Itachi: Hell yeah! Hello Sakura honestly answer this ok :) Would you take naruto from hinata? Are you and hinata friends? cause im working on a drawing :D Would you go out with lee?i mean hes really cute and he really loves you well hes almost die protecting you give him a chance please

Sakura: It’s been so long it’s actually nice to get these normal (if tiresome) questions again. Ok, 1 I would never. Naruto: huh, I’m Hinata’s? Hinata: Blush. Kiba; Wouldn’t you want to be? Naruto: Well no…I mean yes…maybe I…umm… Shikamaru: Don’t break your brain there.

Naruto: I think I may need a band-aid at least… Sakura: And I’d say we are. Hinata: -blush- yes. Zakura: That technically makes us friends too right? Hinata: Oh…of course. Zakura: -happyLee: -intent watchingSakura: Uh…well… Kabuto: Go on, you know you want to give him a glimmer of false hope with which to lead him along of the edge of a cliff. Sakura: GOD I HATE YOU! –goes back into closetZakura: Maybe when she comes out she’ll have the common sense to be lesbian. Itachi: Like Temari…you guys should get it on. Kankuro: -cries at thought of Temari not liking men…because that means he can’t have her…and because the sexy thoughts make him so happy/hornyi send cookies, brownies, and milk too all of you stuck in ask sakura cept for jiraiya cuz i sent him celery insted. q1 sakura, if you could not get out of ask sakura until you were married and no longer a virgin *be strong, fore i am being force to write this question* would you marry kabuto or itachi, or gaara? q2 will you guys have another suductive round of tickling again? oh, and lucifel, did jou answer my other questions already? i havent read them yet.

Jiraiya: …umm… Orochimaru: I’ll share my cookie! Kyuubi: WE’RE APPROACHING! –swaysItachi: Man the…the…HIC…the… Polly: BEDPOSTS!! Itachi: Yes, those. Haku: Are you all goig to do this DRUNK?!

Everyone: HELL-hic-YES!! Sakura: Oh…uh… Kabuto: Me. She’d pick me. Sakura: I would not! Kabuto: You lying wench. Sakura: You make the most crap-ass pirate ever! Go suck-off your captain! Kabuto: you wish! Where’s the rum? Itachi: -teary eyed- gone. Kabuto: WHY?! Itachi: We…WE DRANK IT!! Kabuto: Damn…I mean good…I mean…do we have any rum? Sakura: Disgusting. Zakura: I KNOW! They totally didn’t give me any! Sakura: Since when was any part of my personality a drunk? Zakura: Since me. Orochimaru: That’s the prize. Whoever wins will have a tickle-orgy with me! Itachi: …we must win! Zabuza: Why again? Itachi: Something about rum I think. Kabuto: WOOT!! Lucifel: I put it in all reviews that contain questions unless they break my rules (and I’m pretty lenient) you must have missed it or the review didn’t go through or something. oh, the sakukabu moment was so close! itachi killed it! ...its ok, imma itasaku fan too! itachi should protect whats his and kill kabuto for taking his play thing's first kiss. no it did not belong to sasuke and she knows it! questions!

1 who is smexier, gaara, itachi, or kabuto shirtless... wait, all three of them shirtless, sque! 2 sakura and kurenai, what are your favorite colors, and do you prefer a one peice or two? heres some oniguri and a rice cooker with a months supply of rice!

Itachi: …Ita…saku? Kabuto: NEVER!! Sakura: I need to go boil my head… Itachi: was I just offended? Kabuto: Was I just…eww… Itachi: Why what were you doing? Kabuto: I forget. Orochimaru: Hee, she answered herself. I agree with her too. Sakura: I don’t. Orochimaru: LIES! Kyuubi: FIRE THE CANNONS!! Lee: Where are they? Kyuubi: I…go find some! Lee: Yessir captain sir! Kyuubi: LEE! Lee: Yes? Kyuubi: Why aren’t you drunk? Lee: Because I— Kyuubi: Go crazy, yes I know. …Why aren’t you drunk? Lee: I will correct that right away sir!! Everyone: RICE!! Zakura: So what?

Kiba: It just seemed like ti should be shouted… Neji: Or slept with. Kiba: slut. Neji: Yes? Kiba: I should sleep with you to make Shino jealous… Shino: That doesn’t make any sense! I wouldn’t be jealous of HIM! Kiba: …well then I should do it cuz drinking makes me horny… Kyuu/Zabu: MEN!! ENGAGE IN COMBAT!! -FIGHT SCENEZakura: Can I give you a kiss? Please? Orochimaru: Hi, snake-freak! Wanted to know...would you prefer Jiraiya over a super sexy male that will do whatever you command? Orochimaru: Grope every single girl there. Sakura: You BETTER do this...tell Jiraiya that you want to marry him.

Zakura: Bitch, I will steal your cherry and use it to top my sundae! Sakura: Did you drink too? Zakura: Will that make it less offensive? Sakura: A little. Zakura: then no. Sakura: -.Orochimaru: -as he clings to the daringly fighting Jiraiya- nope! This is my favorite! And oh. Okay. -gropes Zaku/Saku with his hands, and uses his tongue on Kurenai and HinataGirls: YEEEACK!!! Hinata: -faintsPolly: SQUWAK!! –attacks Orochimaru’s tongueKiba: GET HIM!!!

Kyuubi: Aren’t you are on our side? Kiba: Do YOU ? Kyuubi: …no… Kiba: This is pretty much a free-for-all now isn’t it? Kyuubi: I think so…-attacksKiba: AAAAAA!!! –runs into ShinoShino: YOU! Kiba: -kisses Shino hardShino: I hate you. -they fall to the floor doing sexy thingsSakura: -yells from where she and Zakura are chillin watching the fight- I WANNA MARRY YOU JIRAIYA!! Jiraiya: Orochimaru is the only for me! Zakura: He’ll regret that in the morning. Sakura: Heh, yeah… Ayame: WAIT!!!! -the battle screeches to a haltAyame: -slips under Zabuza’s raised sword arm to adjust his collar quickly- K’ thanks. I’m done. -Battle resumesCeyx:Man my head hurts; You would think that after 4 weeks the swelling would've gone done. Questions First 'Kaa-san: Can I borrow Kabuto for a chapter, I kinda want to get this swelling taken care of? Please? I know you're Human Identity! oh wait but you know mine... Kabuto: I just read Chapter 356, and I won't spoil it for eveyone else but, YOU"RE A SICK SICK FREAK! Kurenai: Since there might be a random Pirate attack, here's a taser, use it with no fear and control Sakura: You MUST HUG AYAME. You'll love the result, after you get over your initial shock.

Lucifel: Sure, do whatever you want to him. :3

Kabuto: WHAT?! Lucifel: Oo, I forgot they could here me when they’re drunk…hey! No exploiting my identitiy! Everyone: -screeches to a haltKyuubi: The boy knows her identity. Itachi: I think we’ve found a common goal here… Kyuubi: Change of plans everyone! We now forces to find the boy called CEYX and force him to tell us all he knows about LUCIFEL!! Lucifel: I knew facebook would do me in oneday!! Kabuto: thank you Ceyx, I know. Sakura: God…so do I… Zakura: -snrkSakura: Oh screw you. Kurenai: -tazers Jiraiya- FUN!!!! –starts chasing all the men with the tazerSakura: umm…k…-hugs AyameAyame: whee!! I have to make you a special dress now! Sakura: Sweet. Zabuza: Wait a minute, if we’re gonna combine forces we’ve got to agree on a name. Kyuubi: Well duh, mistress of hell it’s yours but better, Zabuza: No. Hell’s mistress!! Kyuubi: MISTRESS OF HELL Zabuza: HELL’S MISTRESS!! Itachi: GUMDROP QUEEN!! Zabuza: I like that…

Kyuubi: Me too. Zabuza: Why couldn’t I see it before?. –crashes another bottleKyuubi: Dammit stop wasting alchohol. Zabuza: Sorry… Lee: KYWAAH!!! COME FACE ME!! Zabuza: who? Lee: Anyone! Kimimaro: I ain’t doing that shit again. Lucifel: K, that’s it! I am happy to be back! Monday updates will begin as normal! LOVE YOU ALL!! –Hides on Frog Prin3’s ship-

Ask Sakura 32 Lucifel: Hello everyone! First regular update of summer! Whooo! A couple announcements: Loyalty Eternal as been updated! (twice since anyone reviewed) that is the least loved of all my stories…reviews, pwease? I have a new story, the Wife of the Desert. I’m a little embarrassed because it had a female OC in the spotlight (don’t like it, please don’t read. It’s wont be your thing) and I usually hate that and wont read it. But really it’s about a woman I wanted readers to relate to or even actually make themselves as (she is nameless after all) who is looking in on and becoming part of Gaara’s life. I am beta-ing a story for Kryah which is going to be AMAZING and I’d really like everyone to check it out when she posts it. (Should be soon, we just went over the first chapter) Now that that’s over! On with Ask sakura!!!! -Everyone is still in pirate attire, but the overall feel of it is faded and half of them lie sprawled on the floor somewhere between drunk and hangoverItachi: Oohhh my head. Deidara: Oh, my ass…yeah… Zabuza: Mmm, Haku. –hugs Haku tightAnyhow...Since you failed to uphold the dare Orochimaru and came out of the closet.. -Gold switches to red and black spinning pin wheels as she pulls him into her tsukiyomi to veiw a topless Tsunade rapage for the rest of the chappy.- Any how!! To all the girls, what would be your perfect date? And do you prefer boxers, breifs or boxer breifs?! And as for the guys...Who wants to go with us to Mexico?!

Orochimaru: My, that was odd. Jiraiya: Snrrt…huh, whu? Where’d you go? Orochimaru: somewhere with a topless Tsunade but I started giggling at her boobs so much I broke the jutsu with my laughter. –smilesJiraiya: Cute…-huggles-

Orochimaru: … Kurenai: Oh, my, I haven’t thought about a date in a long time…well, I’m honestly a fan of the classic romance. Dinner and long walks, maybe a talk over coffee…a long, sweet goodnight kiss. –sigh- I miss the days when that was plausible. Sakura: I’d want something that he really thought about, that he thought suited me. You know, like taking me to a restaurant that he knew had my favorite food, or even if he managed to incorporate training! That’d be awesome! Zakura: Yeah, and then he could see what a dumb klutz you are and get out fast. Sakura: Fuck you. Zakura: Your boyfriend would want to. Hinata: Uh…ano…-stealing glances at NarutoNaruto: -picks nose while watching a fly rub it little legsHinata: I’d like something inexpensive but nice. I wouldn’t want to be pampered. Something like a picnic in the woods, that’s all I’d need. Naruto: haha! That’s my kind of date too! Nice and cheap! Sakura: you’ll never get a girl… Hinata: -thinking- I WANT TO BE YOUR GIRL!! Zakura: My idea of a good date? We stay in. Bed. No slow, sweet romance, just hardcore lesbian action, until the sheets have been ripped off the bed and the mattress in soaked in our sweat and other things that soak in, and she’s falling asleep under me cuase she’s just that exhausted. Everyone: …=O Jira/Naru/Kiba/Sas/Kyuu: -plug nosebleedsZakura: Yeah… Everyone: BOXERS!!!!! Naruto: I’LL GO TO MEXICO!! Neji: HISPANIC MEN ARE HOT!!!!

Kyuubi: I’LL— Guys: YOU ALREADY WENT ON VACATION!! Kyuubi: so? Men: -fight over who’s going to MexicoZakura: too bad no one’s going on vacation anymore…unless she wants to take Manda. Manda: -shrugsNeji: HE HAS NO SHOULDERS!!! Manda: If we’re going somewhere with people to eat I’m happy. *Looks...evil* I've decided to be evil for about...three weeks..*Laughs so eviliy, that It'll make Kyuubi proud* Zabuza: I've decided to make you more Bad-ass then before. *Hands hi ma mini-gun((As Seen in Predator))* That's modified. It shoots bullets -and- jutsu's. Have fun! Kyuubi: Kyuubi. Behold. *Hold up a gold statue of Foxy awesome-ness* -This-, is a magical device that contains all of your power, even the one you already have. To obtain it, you must perform the greatest act of evil possible in that room that's not killing someone. Naruto: I've found out who your father it. *Hands him a huge stack of medical papers* On that, I have put a shield that allows only you and I to touch it. Your father...is the Yondaime! Have fun. P.S. *Throws a female Kyuubi in from one of those fics where Kyuubi is still totally bad-ass, and super powerful, only a girl. Just to see what happens*

Sakura: I was pretty sure all our fans were already evil… Lucifel: ‘Cept Kryah! She’s only a little devil. I’m training her. :) Sakura: Right anyway… Zabuza: Huh. –puts gun away…looks to see who’s watching- …-starts humming a mix of James bond/mission impossible and jumping from shadow to shadow pulling the gun out at random dramatic intervalsKyuubi: -smirk- I have a statue. Sakura: So we see… Zakura: So we all fuckin see, this thing is huge and taking up WAY too much goddam space. Kyuubi: -reads requirements- Naruto, come over here. Naruto: …why…?

Kyuubi: I’m going to sodomize you…and Jiraiya…at the same time…while aided by a spork…and a kitten. Naru/Jira: -twitch- NEVAR!!! Haku: How dare you threaten a kitten!! Kyuubi: fine No kitten. Now will you two calm down and get over here so I get this done already? Jira/Naru: -making a fort- NO!!! Kyuubi: Whatever, I’ll wait a little bit. –fiddles with demonic artifact he stole from ItachiItachi: Hey, do you know what that does? Kyuubi: Yep. Itachi: Well give it to me! Kyuubi: Uh, no. Itachi: WHY?! Kyuubi: Because I want it. Itachi: Then it must be good! Kyuubi: Only if you say the right words. Otherwise lots of bad stuff could happen. Itachi: Well, give it to me and tell me what to say! Kyuubi: No…-goes into closet to use itItachi: -listens through the door for the words.Kyuubi: -comes back out- Well, that was useful. Should have one charge left, why don’t you go ahead and use it Itachi, if you know the word. Itachi: -grabs artifact- ha! In your face! I heard it through the door! –deep breathERECTUS DYSFUNCTIONUS!! Kyuubi: -snrrkEveryone: -laughs long and hard-

Itachi: …-realizes suddenly what he’s done- WHAT NO!! BUT YOU SAID IT TOO!! Kyuubi: I wasn’t actually holding it. Itachi: But I…I need my erection… Kyuubi: Take some levitra. Naruto: WOW!! THAT’S SO COOL! WOOOOO!! LEMME SEE THE PROOF!... Huh…there’s too much kanji. I can’t read these. Zakura: Oh…wow…it’s a good thing you can’t… Naruto: What?! Why?! Zakura: there was amis-print…Choji is actually Yondaime’s kid. Naruto: Godammit, I knew it was too good to be true. Shikamaru: …wow, that’s the biggest load of bull-shit I’ve ever heard. Lee: Choji’s family keeps getting stranger! Sakura; Shut up! Shikamaru: -writes to Choji in the notebook- They say yondaime is your dad. God these people are crazy. Choji’s reply: you didn’t know, Shika? He totally is. The other guy’s just my step-dad. A cousin mom married after Yondaime died. Shikamaru: …wait, WHAT?! Female Kyuubi: Well, hello Naruto. I am a stupid and non-sense idea made by horny fettish-boys so you, their most identifiable character, can get laid by me. Kyuubi: …-twitchNaruto: -blather, slobber, lustFemale Kyuubi: Would you like to make love to me as uke? Kyuubi: NO!!!!! –jumps on her and does many wretched acts. Every bad thing a demon can do, he does until she is only a bloody mess that he dumps in the pool-

Zakura: …dude, you just raped, mortified, humiliated and murdered yourself… Kyuubi: You’re damn, fucking right I did! Kyuubi statue: -Glows super bright and a shit-ton of chakra comes flowing out and into KyuubiKyuubi: BUWHAHAHAHAHAHKEKEKEKEKEHUHUGYEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE HEHEHHEHEHEHEHE!!! I AM FULL POWER ONCE AGAIN!! …why am I still in human form? Zakura: to be smexy. And don’t try anything. Rules still apply. Kyuubi: But I’m stronger than all of you now. Zakura: Naw, I upgraded too. Kyuubi: but…i…DAMMIT! KYUUBI! I missed your sadistic bad-ass... -chucks him a weird random bottle filled with black swirly liquidno idea what that does, use it on some poor old soul like Kiba... Itachi so are you against the ItaSaku pairing? please say yes... Naru-Chan I dare you for a chapter to be a whore, you make a good one if you try... I'm sure Gaara and Itachi wud do u, and Dei might like to top for once. June x

Kyuubi: -looks at potion- I’ll save it. –glares and Zakura- I need to make plans… Zakura: -gives the fingerIta/Sakura: HELL YES!!! Itachi: Girls are gross! Sakura: Itachi’s SICK. Itachi: I TOLD Deidara that was a ill-placed mosquito-bite NOT a herpes-related sore. Everyone: o.O Itachi: …that’s not she was talking about was it? Naruto: I have to be…a…what? Ita/Dei: WHORE!!!

Naruto: …-light bulb- -crawls in bed next to sleeping Gaara- Ha! Now I can be in bed with Gaara the WHOLE chapter! Itachi: …that’s not fair. All the women: Where the hell is my thank you!? i was the one that got Kankuro to take off the makeup and hat after all! Ayame: You are so awsome! would you please make a dress for me? Zabuza: How do you feel knowing you'll die again when this is over? MiniDeath

Women: THANK YOU!!! Kankuro: -sigh- -pulls hat down moreAyame: Well, sure if you order one. And you get a desicount for being a fan! Itachi: Another who’s the only one who likes fans! Sasori: Another, only one? Itachi: …yes… Zabuza: I wont. Haku: We wont? Zabuza: I refuse to die…again. Certainly not after coming back. Haku: What about me? Zabuza: You’re gonna stay with me. Haku: Really?! Zabuza: Well I’m sure as hell not living without you. Haku: -hugsJiraiya: False hope sucks. Orochimaru: I actually believe him. Jiraiya: whatever you say darling. –kissOrochimaru: -thinkshinata is it true u a size c in bras is too small for u? gawd no wonder hizashi tried to grope u. to any of u bastards - if u found out a friend was cutting themselves wot would u do?

oh yeah kurenai, was there once an incident wher after u and asuma wer...u know wotting, was it true the cloth that u wrap around u fell off and u had to wrap toilet paper around urself instead? kimimaro u once said u'd bone tayuya?

Hinata: didn’t we already go over this? Kiba: It’s true! I got her one for a birthday present and we had to exchange it! Shino: -rolls eyes and wishes he wasn’t too hungover too what Kiba did that upset him so muchSakura: Talk to them. Try to get them to seek professional help, but don’t force anything. What they need most right now is to have someone that will them and love them no matter what they do. Zakura: no, no, no. What you do is this. You ask them hang out, right? And you bring up the cutting thing, and pull out a machete and say something like; ‘Bitch! You wanna get cut?! I’LL FUCKING CUT YOU! No? That’s what I thought. I better not see anything ever again or I’ll just have to cut you up whether you like it or not!” she’ll be cured, I guarantee. Sakura: …please don’t do that. Kurenai: I know as a responsible adult I should say you have to tell someone, but I actually agree with Sakura. What’s important is that you’re there to show why not to do that. Because she has a good friend like you. Orochimaru: Or you could— Sakura: NO! No Sheep! Orochimaru: Sheep? What the hell, of course not. I was gonna suggest asking her if she wants to stay with you. But whatever. Kurenai: WHAT?! How did you…I mean that never happened. Kiba: -imagines dumping water on a toilet-paper covered KurenaiShino: Hey! I read what you’re thinking! Kiba: How? Shino: How did I what? Kiba: eh? Kimimaro: If by bone you mean stabbing her through the place where a heart should be with one of my actual bones then yeah. Otherwise…-shudders-

Kabuto: -snicker- She was actually one of the least annoying. Kimimaro: maybe. Kabuto: You know you thought it too. Kimimaro: Oh, gag me. Itachi: Meow! I will! Orochimaru: When you possessed that guy's body, ALL the cameras Kabuto was watching were flooded with red light and there was a bloodcurdling scream. What kind of jutsu produces that much red light? Kimimaro: Why did every member of your clan but you look exactly the same? Also Kimimaro: After Temari killed Tayuya, she didn't actually look all that dead. I mean, a tree crushed her lower body, but she seemed relatively fine. Did Tayuya just pretend to die and sneak off afterward?

Orochimaru: Oh, that’s this one. –claps hands- AKAHIKARI-NOJUTSU!!!! -the room is flooded with red light, and blood-curdling scream pierces the air. Then the light fades.Jiraiya: Was that you screaming Oro? Orochimaru: I thought it adds a nice touch…do you? Jiraiya: You’re always a nice touch. Kimimaro: Communism. Kabuto: Seriously? Kimimaro: -nods- … -reads second question- Oh god, I hope not! Kabu/Kimi: -share a laugh at the scary ideaTayuya: -is soaking up some serious sun in Tahiti- ACHOO!! –Blinks- what’s that all that about? Italy was FREAKING AWESOME! I had 19 Gelatos while I was there! That's two a day everyday I was there except for when we didn't have time for two when we climbed to the top of St. Peter's Basilica. (I'll tell you more about the trip later if you want, 'kay?) I'm trying to all of my pictures into an online photo album, so that is on its way Lucifel-chan! Gifts: Itachi-sama: 5,0,0,0 euros and 300 Armani, Gucci, and Luis Vuitton (French, but I saw a store there) Naruto-san: Three cubic tons of spaghetti, ravioli, fettucini, and pizza Kurenai-san: 30 gallons of assorted Gelato Sincerely, Kryah

Itachi: Oh my god.

Ayame: Oh everyone’s god. Ita/Aya: YEEEEEEE!!! Naruto: It’s like Italian ramen! –cries happyGaara: -grips Naruto around the waist…he can not leaveNaruto: …no… Itachi: Hey, you have to stay in bed with him anyway. Kurenai: -gasp- GELATO! Everyone: -puppy eyesKurenai: Only Hinata! Hinata: YAY! Haku: -single tear down the cheekKurenai: …Haku too. Haku: YAY! GELATO PARTY!! Sasori: -to Zabuza- why is your little kid involved in all the weird parties? Zabuza: -shrugI know this will be late for the pirate theme but: Unlimited Caribbean Rum cakes for everyone!! Guaranteed to get you drunk in three bites or less (No lie). Everyone: What instruments would you guys play if you were in a band?

Kyuubi: It’s NEVER too late for rum! And now that’s I’m full-power it’s impossible for me to get drunk! Orochimaru: I’ll drink with you! Let’s see who gets drunk first! -Orochimaru in two drinks, Kyuubi in fiveKyuubi: I lashted longer… Orochimaru: I thous yous wasn’t gonna git drunk? Kyuubi: That’sh good shtuff…

Zakura: Anyway, Who would play guitar? -Everyone besides Shika/Kure/Haku/Kabu/and Hina raise handsZakura: Figures. Well? Shikamaru: Koto. Zakura: That’s not a band instrument. Shikamaru: It’s the only thing I’d like to play. Kurenai: Drums! I love them! Haku: Piano! Kabuto: Bass. Zakura: that’s the same damn thing! Kabuto: Oh my god, it is NOT. Zakura: Whatever. Hinata: I, uh…I’d actually just like to sing… Kimimaro: Hey, you sing? Hinata: Not well. Kimimaro: I doubt that! Come on let me hear! Hinata: Well…I… Kimimaro: In the closet then! I’ll show you some pointers! –he pulls her offJiraiya: Good thing Kimi’s gay. Ayame- Why you no turn into snakey?! Sakura- Why do you always avoid questions that deal with Kabuto? Hm?? Zabuza- I dont know why but, here I give you a Yuki plushie! (that i stole from Kota XD)Think about the trading possiblities!

Ayame: huh? Wait…am I cured?! Zakura: -hugs-

Ayame: -turns into a snakeZakura: …you know what this means? Sakura: Sucky writing? Zakura: NO! You don’t count as a girl!! Sakura: I do too! Zakura: Not according to the curse! Sakura: That was just bad writing! Ayame: -changes back- Whee I’m naked! Sakura: I’ll show you! –HugsAyame: Nope…and I’m still naked… Sakura: GAH! –bluuush- And because he’s not worth talking about! Everyone: -including Kabuto- BULL!! Sakura: -glareZabuza: Trade for what? The only one I’d want would be a Haku and— Deidara: Wanna trade for mine, yeah? Zabuza: -demon eyes- You. Had. A. Haku. Plushie?! Deidara: No, yeah? Zabuza: GRAAAAAA!! HT: ok! cookies! *dozens of cookies aare thrown into the room* amber: i made her make every kind. HT: sadly... OMG!! AYAME-SAMA I NEED YOU! can you make my kitty an outfit? please? amber: that poor cat... HT: oh!! and i captured yuki yesterday 'cuz i was bored!! he says hola!! yuki: i didnt actually say hola... HT: but... but... HOLA IS FUNNER! amber: why is the stupid rat here? HT: oh, hi other non-ayame people! ENJOY THE COOKIES!

Everyone: COOKIES!!! Itachi: How’d she make them so fast?

Neji: WHY DO YOU CARE?! Ayame: Like I said. Just put it an order! Orochimaru: Whee! You’re naked! Ayame: Yep! –big smileDeidara: Whee…you’re sexy, yeah. Ayame: Why, thank you. Deidara: -leans inAyame: But I’m only interested in my brother. Itachi: Your brother? Haha! Ayame: Why? It’s only incest. Itachi: …yay. Ayame: HI YUKI! I’M NAKED! 1. Since there was so much mentioning of rum, I'll donate a couple of bottles. It's the best rum in the world from my parent's country of origin...Trinidad and Tobago! whoo! don't drink it all in one day, I think the alcohol percentage thingy is like in the twenties...and I'm NOT donating anymore than this!...unless Itachi its that the viola is different than the violin. 2. I dare Hinata to...poke Naruto in the nose! random, I know. 3. Sakura...I know what it feels like to like someone who seems indifferent about you or sees you only as a girl who sits behind him in language arts class! -The Muffinator 3

Kyuubi: MORE RUM!! –Drinks it all- Ahh, Naruto come here. Naruto: Wha-ha-hat? Kyuubi: I’m going to sodomize you. Just you. No sporks involved. Naruto: O.o Hinata: -leans out of closet to pokeNaruto: O.0 Sakura: Um…great? Itachi: They look the exact damn same!

Kabuto: They are not! Itachi: What do you know! Kabuto: More than you! Itachi: Nerd! Kabuto: Not this again… Question Time Kyuubi: Welcome back! Did you have fun? Anyway, who's cuter Hinata or Haku? Everybody that unjustly hates 'Kaa-san: What will you give me for information? 'Cause it will take a lot to make me betray her Gift Time To all the drunks: A ton of hangover medicine. Since Lee lost the last bunch I have a dare for Sakura! You must have a steamy makeout session with Lee!

Kyuubi: Haku. Gotta go for the girls that are really boys things. Lucifel: YOU’D CONSIDER GIVING THE INFORMATION!? Sakura: Haha, you’re son/lover hates you. Lucifer: -does notLee: Oops, I just dropped the hangover medicine in the pool… Orochimaru: So much wrong with you. Jiraiya: -faintsEveryone: GASP! Orochimaru: Whoops… Sakura: Oh godammit. –grabs Lee and makes out with him! She rounds first! Second! OH! Out at third when Kurenai makes a stunning double-play of smacking them both upside the head and dragging them to other sides of the room. What a shame.Kyuubi: Are you coming over here or what, Naruto? Naruto: I can’t I’m with Gaara. –thinks- thank god for sleeping-death-gripsGaara: -blinks awake- hwuh? Itachi: Umm, Oro don’t you care that Jira just fainted? Orochimaru: He’ll be ok.

Lucifel: That’s it for now! See you all later! Check out the stuff I mentioned in the beginning!! Kyuubi: NARUTO! NOW!

Ask Sakura 33 Lucifel: WHOOO!! 33!! I don’t know why but for some reason that number kind of excites me… :) Anyway, continuing the story. Oh yeah! Camping theme today! -they are actually somewhere else. They are outside in a heavily forested area by a large pond. There is only one tent, but it’s pretty big. There’s a perimeter set up so that they can only be in the pond or within 500 feet of their tent. The sleeping people are in the tentA.H.S: Whoot! I'll take Manda!! That way we can kill all the people who try to cross our lego fence!C.I.A: -Bashes with a wiffle ball bat- Baka! Go fuck Zetsu again! A.H.S: We don't!! We're in love!! And were getting married in Mexico! C.I.A.: Oh hell no! I'm not,...! -Morana and the plant man go poof- No! Daimos: Where'd mommy go? C.I.A: Umm...Who wants to babysit Daimos? -Scoots away from the eerily smiling child- Deidara, Itachi, and Sasori...Do you know what teddy bears Hidan likes? I wanna give it to him for our aniversary! -Chucks in a huge ass box of fireworks- And Happy forth of July! -Runs away-

Zakura: -she’s sitting on a tree root that kind of bulges out over the pond- Didn’t I already explain that no one is going anywhere? Manda: -from where he’s enjoying slithering around in the forest- You do realize I’m stronger than Kyuubi? Kyuubi: -from up a tree- YOU ARE NOT! Zakura: Yeah… Kyuubi: I said HE IS NOT. Manda: And you have only barely enough power to control Kyuubi because he is volatile and needs controlling. Kyuubi: Well, I am volatile…but what self-respecting demon isn’t? Orochimaru: Kurama. Kyuubi: Eww, yeah.

Manda: The point is little girl, I am the strongest creature here. And I want to go to Mexico. Zakura: Well shit, man, go to Mexico! Naruto: Snrrrk, do you think they’re flying there on a plane? Orochimaru: Heeheehee, Manda on a plane. Sakura: Anyway, A.H.S. finally gave a review of mostly question so if you would please — Sasori: NO! NONONONOONONONO!! Orochimaru: What? I thought it’d be fun to babysit him. Sasori: -coughs- Um, yeah. But you know, Daimos is my kid, why don’t you let me take care of him? Orochimaru: -shrugs- of course! Deidara: you know he’ll probably kill the kid, yeah? Orochimaru: Yeah, well, it’s his baby. He can do whatever. Deidara: I forget sometimes that you’re still evil. Yeah. Orochimaru: Teehee. Sasori: -runs off into the woods and pulls out kunai ready to kill DaimosDaimos: -creepily still smilingSasori: -raises KunaiDaimos: -Still smilingSasori: -plunges kunaiDaimos: -stilllllll smilingSasori: -stops at the last second with a gasp- Why didn’t I see it before! You’re not good hearted! You’re the most twisted baby in existence! Your smile is not of joy but of wickedness! I’m so proud! –hugsDaimos: -tries to back-stab Sasori-

Sasori: -pulling him away- Really, REALLY proud! Deidara: He likes the ones where they’re funny colors or have hearts sewn on them. Itachi and I used to make them all the time. Itachi: -smiles as he re Deidara chasing Hidan with teddy bears all over the hideout- hehe, yeah… Kiba: WOOT! EXPLOSIONS! Kurenai: Not until later. –Takes awayKiba: Aww… Shino: It’s noon anyway. Fireworks aren’t any good unless it’s night. Kiba: Explosions are always good. Man, Akamaru would have had so much fun coming camping… -criesShino: -sighs- I thought you were over this. Kiba; but we’re in the WOODS! He would have loved this! Shino: I’m sure he’s perfectly happy wherever he is. Oh…-gets distracted by weirdlooking bug climbing up the tentI have a question for Naruto. Naruto, you've been paired with every possible female character in the series. You've also been paired with a little more than half of the male characters. Why do you think that's so? Anybody else beside Naruto can answer me if they want. Oh, and last but not least. WHERE IS TOBI!?!?

Naruto: -shilw cannon-balling in the pond- BECAUSE I AM THE GREAEST NINJA EVAR!!! Kyuubi: -catches Naruto with one arm and pulls him back onto shore without his feets ever hitting water.- Is that so, kit? Why don’t you prove it? Naruto: I will! I’ll totally kick your ass! Kyuubi: that’s not what I was talking about… Naruto: NOOOOO!!! Zakura: Are you seriously wanting to get in that kid’s pants? Kyuubi: -shrugs- mostly I like making him squirm.

Zakura: Right on. –High fivesOrochimaru; Another reason he might be so popular is because all the little nerdy children can relate to him and put themselves in his place and pretend THEY’RE getting the wild sex life. Teehee, nerds. Naruto: NO! I don’t want nerds to pretend they’re having sex in my body! Deidara: Probably Tobi’s chilling back at the base. Lucky bastard. Sasori: yeah, lucky bastard. –Is carrying Daimos in a basket held far from himDeidara: …why are you carrying the baby like that yeah? Sasori: Because he’s trying to kill me. Isn’t that just adorable? Deidara: KYA! YES!! HT: aw... yuki escaped... BUT I CAPTURED SHIGURE! amber: ohno... Shigure: HI AYAME! HT: all i need now is hatori!! fluffy: meow! HT: yay fluffy! anyway, i have akito in my closet, anyone want him? amber: also, anyone want cake? HT made one for me, and i decided to share it. shigure: yay! cake! HT: its chocolate icecream cake! yay!

Ayame: KYAAA! Shigure! My love! When we are reunited I will never let you sleep again! Itachi: Wanna practice on me? Ayame: Sure! If you do get Tori-chan send him my undying love! Itachi: Do you have like, kinky threesomes with your friends? Ayame: Well, what do you do with your friends? Itachi: God I love you. –pulls into tent- GAAAH! EWW! SOMEONE PUT THE COMATOSE HERMIT IN HERE!! Orochimaru: Well, I had to keep him out of the sun! Itachi; Fine, we’ll go sexy in the woods… Ayame: Yay. Kurenai: Why did you knock out Jiraiya anyway, Orochimaru?

Orochimaru: Who me? No, I didn’t. –innocent smileZakura: -examines her stolen red potion- hmmm… Hinata: -pours herself a cup of juice, drinks a little and then runs over to cheer the moping Kiba up…leaving her cup completely ignoredZakura: hmm… Question Time Kabuto: Why'd you heal Hinata in the Chunin Exams? Was it so you could grope her? Hinata: You sing? OMG so do I!! That's so cool. DO you sing Alto or soprano? How long have you been singing? Sque Gift Time: Kimimaro and Hinata: All the materials you need to become better singers. Oh and if you 2 could perform Bohemeian Rhapsody by Queen I'll send you whatever you want.

Hinata: O.o Kiba/Shin/Kure/Zaku: -glare at KabutoKabuto: What? NO! Kurenai: Then why did you. Answer carefully. Kabuto: Oh come on! She’s so cute and innocent, I couldn’t stand to see her hurt! No one could! Kiba; Besides Neji, the bastard. Neji: -Gives Kiba the finger- It was a battle. People get hurt. Kiba: NOT HINATA! Neji: -shrugHinata: Oh I don’t sing well… Kimimaro: SHE LIES! She’s amazing! Hinata: -blush- Well…thank you… Kimimaro: She’s got a really sweet soprano tone to her voice that is just magical. – dreamy sighKabuto: Wow, Kimi, I’ve never seen you like this… Kimimaro: I’ve never found anything so wonderful!

Kabuto: -smacks Kimi upside his head- It’s creeping me out. Kimimaro: -sticks out tongue- Heh, sorry. Hinata, keep that stuff safe and we’ll use it when we get back! Hinata: Ok. –puts stuff in tent- What’s Bohemian Rhapsody? Kimimaro: I’ll learn it for an anti cat-ears potion. Kabuto: But they’re so cute… Kimimaro: -blushKyuubi: Why did you attack Konoha? I'm always saying that the fact that you're a giant fox demon is enough of a reason, but not everybody believes me. Also Kyuubi: Now that you're at max power, if you were to use all your chakra to detonate yourself in a fiery act of final violence, how big would the explosion be? Just curious. Finally, I've rented the second Naruto fighting game for the Gamecube. Sakura's the weakest character (and she calls on Zakura for her ultimate attack, which is nothing special). Ino's a significantly better character, and the strongest so far are Gaara and Zabuza (and once I unlock them, Kyuubi Naruto and Orochimaru). Characters I've mentioned: your thoughts on this?

Kyuubi: I already explained this. I will not do so again. Manda: It was a completely valid reason though. Kyuubi: I know! Nobody else understands! Kiba: I do! Kyuubi: No you don’t. Kiba: Yeah…you’re right…-sniffleShino: -blinks at the bug turns a half degree counter clockwiseKyuubi: Hmmm… -A HUGE explosion rips half the planet apart and the half slowly crumbled from the aftershock then everything goes back to normalKyuubi: That big, without the last part. I just don’t feel like dying today. Manda: I’d like to make it to Mexico. Zakura: YOU! Snake-boy! Stop talking! Manda: -gives the finger-

Neji: HOW DOES HE DO THAT?! Lee: Black magic! I will defend us! Manda: -swats Lee into the pondZakura: Good job Lee!! Lee: -gives thumbs up and drownsGaara: -snaps awake and rushes to the pond, and dives down and pulls Lee upShikamaru: OH NO! He’s not breathing! Zakura: QUICK! Give him mouth to mouth! Gaara: GAH! –leaps down on himLee: ? –was always fineShikamaru: -holds out handZakura: -high fivesLee: Uhhh…Gaawa? Gaara: Ack! –springs backLee: -confusedGaara: I thought…weren’t you…drowning? Lee: I hadn’t swallowed any water yet. But thank you for worrying about my life! Gaara: -bluuushZakura: Lee and Gaara go get changed. You’re soaking wet. Gaara: Into wh— Zakura: GO! -They scamper offZakura: and I’m not surprised about the game…

Sakura: WHAT?! I’m way stronger than Ino! Zakura: No you’re not. Sakura: but I’m not the weakest! Zakura: Uh…umm…well, if Tenten’s in the game then I give you that much. Neji: Huh, I don’t think I ever met her, who is she again? Everyone: -shrugsShikamaru: -facepalmLee/Gaa: -in tentLee: -starts to get nakedGaara: WAITAMINUTELEE!! Lee: Huh? What? Gaara: Wh…what are you gonna change into? Lee: Hmm…well, I guess I’ll just hang this up to dry and avoid the girls until it is! Gaara: …-terrified and oh-so-happy at the same timeGaara and Itachi I give you a leash... that is hooked on Naruto... Naruto you are their slave for the next chapter. Sakura I found a pink bottle in my back garden... it matches your hair I thought you might want it -chucks inShino ever thought of making a flea circus? June x

Itachi: Hmm…from where I’m standing Naruto is right between me and Gaara. –tugsNaruto: -chokes- ACK! Gaara: huh? –arm jerks- What is this? –pulls towards himNaruto: GACK! –chokes in other directionItachi: Teehee, -pulls harderAnd so on… Sakura: Huh…what is this I wonder?

Zakura: Lets make a guy drink it! –grabs it awaySakura: Hey! No! Zakura: -runs into tent past Gaara who is wrapping the leash around his wrist to pull tighter and dumps it into Jiraiya’s mouthJiraiya: -wakes up coughing and spitting and stuff- wtf? Zakura: Who do you love? Jiraiya: …boobs…-goes outsideZakura: Hmm…OROCHIMARU!! Orochimaru: -pops head into tent- yes? Zakura: I think this was a negate-love-potion. Orochimaru: Oh no, I already knocked him out of that. Zakura: But…wait…why the fuck did you do that?! You never even had kinky sex! Orochimaru: Oh, I will eventually. I’d just rather play the game. Zakura: …I wouldn’t. Orochimaru: Is that why you dumped the love potion into Hinata’s drink? Zakura: Whatchootalkinboutoro? Gaara: -leash slips out of his hand- DAMMIT! -from outside they hear Naruto:- GAH! NEED LIQUID FOR BARRATED THROAT! Hinata: Here! Drink this! Orochimaru: snrrk, ho damn. Zakura: No…NO…NOOO! –rushes out just as Naruto finishes Hinata’s juiceItachi: -walks over- So THAT’S what my leash was attached to. –innocent smileGaara: -storms out and picks up his leash- Oh, hi Naruto.

Naruto: YOU ALMOST KILLED ME! Haku: -hugs NarutoNaruto: -blushGaara: Sorry… -Naked Lee runs by in the backgroundShino: No. Kiba: He basically is a walking flea circus already anyway… Shino: -starts punching KibaKiba: OWW! I tease because I love you! I TEASE BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! Shino: -goes back to watching the bugHi everyone, you won't believe what i found on my front spet this morning! I found Tobi! Tobi: HI DEIDARA-SEMPEI!(Is punched in the face and flys through the wall) Orochimaru: um, hello? where is the steemy sex scene with Jiraiya? Lee: You. Gaara. Sex. Now! (evil glare of doom) Zakura: Stop being so damn sexy!! and that goes for Kyuubi too!! MiniDeath

Deidara: HI TOBI! YEAH! Itachi: -slaps Naruto- Oh, sorry, Mosquito on your faceNaruto: -growlGaara: Heel, boy. Naruto: Oh screw you. Gaara: You wanna? Naruto: gah! NO! And certainly not with Zakura although she is the sexiest woman EVER. Zakura: -facepalmEveryone: -jaw-dropHinata: -cries a littleZakura: Orochimaru…how did you cure Jiraiya again?

Orochimaru: -shrugs- figure it out yourselfZakura: …-kicks Oro in the ballsOrochimaru: OWW! OK! OW DON’T DO IT AGAIN!! Zakura: WELL? Orochimaru: A good hit to the head is all it takes, really. Zakura: Could love be that simple?...fuck yes. –crashes a camping lantern over Naruto’s headNaruto: -garble FAINTOrochimaru: The sex will come in its own time. And I will completely control Jiraiya then! Jiraiya: -is too busy fishing to speak…he’s really just thinking about boobsLee: -is standing so that this one branch conveniently falls in front of his ‘hips’- I can not have sex with Gaara! For I am naked right now. Girls: -SCREAMNeji: One is usually naked when they have sex, Lee. Lee: But that’s an entirely different kind of naked! Kankuro: It doesn’t matter anyway! I’d never let Lee have my sexy brother! Neji: Dude. You’re fucking weird. Kiba: -coughslutcoughGaara: -trying not to nosebleed all over Naruto- … -failsNaruto: -sputter- what the hell? Gaara: I uh…umm…fell. And hit my nose. Naruto: …ok… Zakura But if I stop being sexy then Sakura will have no sexiness to her. Everyone has some sexy in them.

Itachi: Besides Naruto. Zakura: -nods- besides Naruto. Naruto: HEY! Gaara: that is so not true. Haku: Naruto has blue eyes! Blue eyes are always sexy! Zabuza: -scoops Haku up- that’s enough attention not given to me. Zakura: Whatever. Kyuubi: I’ll never stop being sexy. Hell, when I die necrophiliacs all over the world are gonna come to get a piece of this. Naruto: Eww, so didn’t want to hear that. Kyuubi: But you’ll do it. Naruto: I WILL NOT! Ita/Gaa: -jerk on the leash so Naruto falls flat on his assGaara: shut up, Naruto. You’re ruining whatever sexy you have by talking. Itachi: In fact, you’re so annoying you’re hurtig other people’s sexy. Naruto: -gives the fingerItachi: -kicks1. I've got some spare ramen here...hey, Naruto, do you like shrimp? -gives ramen- be careful, it's hot and spicy... 2. A violin has strings that are the pitch of G, D, A, E. a viola has the three lower ones plus C. violinists read the treble clef, while viola players read the alto clef. violas are slightly wider and you can tell it's a viola by that the C string is thicker. THEY'RE NOT THE STINKIN' SAME, ITACHI! 3. I'm not evil!! I give muffins! -assorted muffins appear. beware Kankuro, they have an anti-Kankuro shield- the most evil thing I would do would be to whack Itachi with my viola case (if I could). -The Muffinator 3

Naruto: Yes! Ramen! Zakura: Where you gonna cook that? Naruto: …TO THE FIREPIT!!

Gaara: Who says I’m in the mood for a fire yet? Itachi: I’m certainly not. Naruto: Gaara! You’re supposed to be my friend! Gaara: Well yes, but Itachi and share a special understanding. Itachi: the frappuccinos are second only to sex. Gaara: AMEN! Naruto: I hate you… Kiba: I’ll make a fire!! Shino: You go caveman. Kiba: -puppy eyesShino: This bug is way cuter. Kiba: you’re mean…-goes to make a campfire. Itachi: Yes, thank you miss encyclopedia. What the fuck ever. No one cares. Haku: I do! That was fascinating! Zabuza: Hey, pay attention. I’m trying to cuddle you. Kankuro: -dives at muffins- GAH! –get deflected into the pondEveryone else: MUFFINS!! Kiba: We can roast muffins! Shino: …-sigh*Sitting on a throne made of bones, looking all bad-ass, evil, and totally smexy with his dark red and black robe* Kurenai: I haven't been paying attention to you enough, so..I dare you to have steamy sex with Kyuubi. *Smirk* Perverts of the Room: I started a new order. The Order of The Perverts. PERVERTS OF THE WORLD UNITE! Kyuubi:, you're dare is to protect the person I'm tossing in the room to see what happens. Have fun, Kyuubi! P.S. *Tosses in Himura Kenshin, from Rurouni Kenshin, .* Have fun, Kenshin! .

Lucifel: That’s my lovely husband.

Kurenai: Um…aren’t those dares not allowed? Zakura: Just down grade it to steamy make outs. Kurenai: Godammit. Kiba: That didn’t sound all that enthusiastic. Kyuubi: -Smirk.-they go into the tentJiraiya: Dammit! Why did I leave?! Orochimaru: -sits next to him- hi. –smileJiraiya: -pats headOrochimaru: -leans against himKiba: WHOOT! PERVERTS!! Shino: you’re not such a pervert. Shikamaru: He’s completely lusty towards his older teacher. Zakura: don’t lie. So do you. Shikamaru: Not as much as Kiba… Naruto: You…you didn’t deny it… Shikamaru: -shrugJiraiya: SWEET! We have a group! We can get grants ‘n stuff now! Orochimaru: umm, grants for what? Jiraiya: Sexy things. Orochimaru: yay. Kyuubi: -comes back straightening hisn bad-ass coat and looks at Kenshin who is looking around the area really confused- Who’re you? Kenshin: Oro?

Kyuubi: Oro, huh, well whatever. You’re cute. Kenshin: ORO?! Orochimaru: Yes? Kyuubi: -puts arm around Kenshin’s shoulders.- Don’t worry. You’re not very bright seeming, but I’m used to dealing with dull people and you’re much cuter than the last one. Kenshin:-dizzy eyes-…oro… Orochimaru: YES?! Kyuubi: -hugsKenshin: um…ano… Kyuubi: Hey, you don’t have to pretend to be bright. Just sit there and do what you do best. Kenshin: Well…what I do best… Kyuubi: Of course, I understand, but that comes later. Kenshin: ORORO?! Orochimaru: WHAT?! Jiraiya: -pats Oro’s head againOrochimaru: -purr- Hey. For your fishing…wanna go out in a boat? Jiraiya: Sure. –they go out into the pond on a row boat. Sakura / Zakura: to each of you a Hawaiin lei(sp?) in colors to match your outfits... because both of you deserve to laid to your satisfaction and specifications. Did the two of you get new outfits. If so, what do they look like?

Zakura: I did, she didn’t. Sakura: I hate you. Ayame: But now I made you one! Sakura: It’s umm…made of tent.

Ayame: I have limited materials out here…heh. Kenshin: Where is— Kyuubi: shush. Kenshin: -shushesZakura: -Is wearing only a skirt and lei.-What? All the men are gay, and if the women are lesbian then I want the attention. Hinata: -gawkKiba: what’re you gawking at? Hinata: I’m uh—jealous… Kiba: why? Yours are bigger. Hinata: But uh, not as…firm… Kiba: Yeah…maybe a little…-inspectsZakura: -bitch-slapKiba: blarg…-falls on groundto any of u bastards but more likely sakura or kurenai as they give the best advice - if a friend ran away but ed you through the Net and on a phone should you assume they are fine when they insist so and wot else should u do? shino - you once complained that girls didn't like you because of your bugs, is that why you turned gay? shikamaru - apparently you're a bigger perv than jiraiya cos during study time in the academy you'd "read" a book but really be reading a girly mag underneath the book is that true??

Kurenai: Don’t assume they’re fine but make sure of it. Ask as many times as you need to until you are positive she is all right. Depending on how much you know about why she ran away it might be better just to let her do it. Make sure she is in a safe place. However, if she is going anywhere dangerous, such as a place with drugs or something of that nature, you have to one: talk her out of it. And if she does not listen, you need to tell someone where she is. Just keep track of her. Itachi: Or track her down with sheep. Sakura: Nooo. Kenshin: Sheep?! Kyuubi: I love my new pet.

Kenshin: …hrr…oro… Orochimaru: WHAT DO YOU WANT?! Jiraiya: Don’t stand up in the— -TIPPEROWBOAT!!Jiraiya: -sputter- godammit. Shino: no. I’m gay because boobs are gross. Naru/Kiba/Oro/Sas/Jira/Kyuu/Zaku: BLASPHEMY!! Shino: -sigh and rolls eyesShikamaru: I did no such thing. Zakura: But you have itted to being a perv. Shikamaru: …how troublesome. Kenshin: this is all very troublesome indeed… Kyuubi: Aww, you sound so smart. Sakura: How can I be as pretty as you? You NEVER have acne or seem to gain weight; how do you do it?!! Kabuto: I dare you to make-out with Sakura-san for half an hour!! and Nobody can interfere!! Kurenai: Cool eyes; are they naturaul? Deidara-san: How do you keep you're hair so nice? I love it...that and you're cute...^-^ -Mair

Zakura: By whining a lot. It seems to do her wonders. Sakura: shut up! Actually, I never wear make up (unless for a special occasion) which keeps my skin clear and I work out daily which burns all the calories I consume, and the sweat makes sure my pores stay clean. Shino: And here’s a thought: we’re not real. And who wants to creat a character in an action with acne, really? Kiba: umm…what? Shino: Just build your fire. Kiba: Built. Itachi: SWEET! Let’s roast some wieners!

Everyone: Snrrk. Itachi: I totally said that on purpose. Kabuto: well, -stands and cracks neck- let’s get this over with. Sakura: NO! I REFUSE I--! Kabuto: -dashes over and dips her low to the ground, pressing his hand over her mouthSakura, you know as well as I do that we’re going to be forced into, and you’ll enjoy it more of you don’t struggle. Sakura: Oh um…ah…okay… Kabuto: Come on. There’s a nice place by the pond. Sakura: R-right… Everyone: -stares after them in shock.-several long minutes after there out of sight and then— SPLASH!! Sakura: -heard from not too far off.- KABUTO YOU BASTARD! I HATE YOU! Everyone: BWUHAHAHAH!! Zakura: the worst part is now you still have to go through with the making out! Kenshin: What sort of horrible place is this?! Ayame: I like it here! Kenshin: O.o Zakura: Well…she didn’t respond…she must be busy… Deidara: I actually have a special clay that a mix to a thin consistency and use as a conditioner. It works amazing! Itachi: It’s my secret weapon too. Naruto: But I thought Mangekyou…

Itachi: no, shut up. You don’t understand anything. Naruto: Oh sorry… Oro/Jira: -swim ashoreGifts: Haku-san: Um, you get a moped. Just because. Hinata-san: Ah...A dove? Gaara-san: A gorgeous painting dipicting a bloody/gory battle field Sincerely, Kryah

Haku: YAY! WHEEEE! –rides around on his mopedHinata: Oh, how cute. –cuddles doveHaku: WheeeEEEEEeeee Gaara: Sweet-ass. –hangs it up on a treeNaruto: Uh, lovely? Gaara: -smileHaku: WheeeeEEEEEEEEE.-crunchZabuza: ACK! HAKU! Haku: I’mma ok…just didn see da tree…-faintsZabuza: you fucking bastard tree!! –Chops tree into bits of firewoodKiba: CONVENIENCE!! –takes and adds to campfireI give everyone fireworks of all kinds to shoot at each other and possibly blow a hand or 2 off. Hurray for no limbs!

Kiba: YES!! –drop a firework into the fireEXPLOSION Kiba: Sweet. Itachi: I think the wieners are over-done now… Kiba: -checks pants- no, it’s fine. Zakura: We’ll save these too.

Orochimaru: -bitch-slaps reviewer- Boo for no limbs. Do you know how hard it is to get your kinky on without them? Where'd the undead monkey go?? And by the way, it was meant to be shot... But I guess that works too Itachi: Why are you acting so girly? not that it bothers me, it's hilarious how you act like a blonb bimbo(no offense to blonds OR DEIDARA-SAN!) Kurenai: What makes you think that you can't date anymore? There are tons of young men drooling after you (COUGHKIBACOUGH) Deidara: Can you make any other exploding clay... thingies other than birds and spiders? If you do, please show one ^^

Hinata: WHERE DID POLLY GO?! Kiba: I’m certainly not burning his remains right now… Hinata: KYA!! –faintKiba: I was so not serious… Kure/Zaku: -btich-slaps KibaKiba: WHAT?! I was kdding! Zakura: that doesn’t matter. I’m gonna take her into the tent so she doesn’t get overheated. Shikamaru: uh-huh, right. Itachi: Because I’m mostly a bad-ass to attract Sasuke and intimidate opponents. Sasuke’s not here and we’re not fighting much. I can enjoy nail polish all I like! Deidara: YAY-YEAH! Kurenai: Yes, well, I prefer not to be a pervert. Lots of young men: AWWWW. Neji: Liking Gai is pretty pervy Naked Lee: BUT GAI-SENSEI IS AWESOME! How can you doubt that Neji?! Neji: Lee…you’re still naked… Lee: whoops. –slips into jumpsuitGaara: -drowns in nosebleedDeidara: Well…-checks rating- teehee. –makes exploding dildo-

Neji: Oh OWW. Who would use one of those? Deidara: Teehee, well Ionce tricked Tobi…yeah… Itachi: no WONDER the kid’s so fucked up. Deidara: heeheehee. Nauto: You better be in Kyuubi's arms by the time this review comes around! If not I dare you to be... and stay there until the plot needs you out. Someone kiss Shikamaru*! I wan't to see more of him. * Only men are eligible. He is allowed to evade the kiss. whoever gets the first kiss gets a prize next chap. throws CC Sakura's wand into room. Never know when a wand will come in handy.

Kyuubi: fuck yes. –collects Naruto into his armsNaruto: -whimperKenshin: -slips away from Kyuubi- phew. –comes face to face with MandaORORORORORO?! Manda: HISSSSSSS!! Kenshin: OROROR!!! –runs back to KyuubiShikamaru: Wait, whu— -Is kissed by JiraiyaShikamaru: TROUBLESOME! TROUBLESOME!! Orochimaru: In think you broke him… Jiraiya: BWAHAHAHHA!! Shikamaru: -hides by the tent hugging his knees- troublesome…troublesome… troublesome…. Kiba: -picks up wand-…hmm…-smacks Manda on the heanda: Kid…I’m gonna kill you… Kiba: GAH! NO! You’re supposed to return to the form you were meant to have! Clow card! You know! -upon finishing the incantation a whole bunch of wind stirs up and Manda turns into pink ribbons which reassemble as a clow card with Manda’s picture on it-

Kiba: Dude. Naruto: What card is it? Kiba: The…pissed off…card… Naruto: If I were you I would never un-seal that card… Kiba: uh…yeah… anyways, Jiraiya, -whispers in his ear- i hear tsunade likes you...if you know what i meanGaara and Itachi! i am gonna give you a years supply of meth coffee...yes it exists, try it, theres more caffiene in it then anything you've had yet. orochimaru, i have for you, EVERY picture i own of sasuke...and sadly, some sasuke/naruto/tsunade... but in exchange, i want some porn from you...just something to think about anyways, QUESTION!...horde or alliance >.>

Jiraiya: HA! The day that woman likes me is the day pigs fly! Shizune: Tsunade-sama! Help! Tonton is levitating in the library again! Tsunade: Oh godammit. Jiraiya: AND hell freezes over. Satan: ACHOO! Damnit Lucy, stop messing with the thermostat!! Lucifel: Sorry! You know I like to write in a cool environment! Satan: So go to earth! Lucifel: Aww, but fixing all the ruptures that makes is so annoying! Satan: Just write your damn story… Gaara: -gape- … -sips- holy… Itachi: SWEET-ASS! I used to make this all the time back in the dorm! Deidara: HELL YEAH, YEAH!! Orochimaru: Well, kid, you have to be more specific that just porn. And how much room do you have to hide said porn? Itachi: And if you don’t have to hide how big is your house? Orochimaru: Exactly. Kiba: HORDE!

Naruto: ALLIANCE!! Shino: Do either of you two even know what they are? Naruto: yes? Kiba: no? Shino: -sighZakura: -coming out of the tent with a woken-up Hinata- FIREWORKS!!!!! -they all eat hot dogs and corn and s’mores by the pond while Kenshin sets off fireworks before sneaking away. Is very lovely. Lots of cuddling happens. Not gonna say who, just lots of cuddling. And Haku’s ok btw. Naruto gets over the Kyuubi thing and instead abuses the fact that Kyuubi’s lap is very comfy. Manda, however, is very unhappy. And Shikamaru …is still brokenShikamaru: troublesome…troublesome…troublesome….sooo troublesome…. Lucifel: See ya’ll next week back in the room.

Ask Sakura 34 Lucifel: Sorry for the late update. The weekend was a four-day whirlwind. All my fault! My deepest apologies! Everyone is back in the room! Fully deprived of sunlight! A.H.S: Sasori! How's my little boy doing?! Mommy missed you! Anyhow, -Hands Daimos some glow in the dark playdoh.- Zakura, can you make sure they won't let Dai-chan have any Fraps?. Does anyone want anything from Mexico? Orochimaru! -Glomps, handing another album- More Uchihacest!! You won't beleive how much of these pics there are!! Could you please tell me if you wear eyeliner or if those purple lines are natural?

Sasori: -looks at where Daimos is lying in a padded frappuccino crate demolishing playdoh- -evil grinZakura: Like I give a shit about your kid. If he wants to try killing people that’s his business. He’s returning to you after you get back from Mexico anyway. Deidara: Not before I demolish him! Yeah! Orochimaru: But he’s kind of cute. Deidara: He is a symbol of Sasori’s lack of love for me. yeah. Kiba: What’s a symbol for everyone’s lack of love for you? Deidara: What’s that supposed to mean?! I’m loved! Yeah! Kiba: Ok, if you say so. I’m just saying slutting isn’t loving. –pointed glance at NejiNeji: -gives fingerZakura: From mexico? What would you get us? Employees who can’t even speak English, let alone Japanese?

Kiba: Or ninjanese! Zakura: Or another bratty orphan kid? Jiraiya: I think I can hear Political Correctness screaming and trying to kill itself. Deidara: Zakura already smashed it dead. Kiba: What if she brings a sexy, curvy, scantily clan woman! I’m up for that! Shino: -SMACKSSakura: Hey, I know! Why doesn’t she get us all some keychains!? Zakura: You are so no fun. Orochimaru: SQUEE!! –hugs album- I haven’t gotten a new album in so long! Itachi: Now they’re gonna come flooding in. Let me have a look I wanna inspect my work. Orochimaru: -flipping excitedly through the album- It’s tattoos. I’m so badass huh? I mean, who do you know can handle getting tatted, old school, on their eyelids!? Kabuto: -rolls eyesGaa!! No, I caused Shikamaru to break! Is all my fault! -weepsJIraiya you pervert, you weren't supposed to kiss my shika! Oh well I guess I have to give you something anyway. umm... have a puzzle box yeah. I don't know whats inside of it^_^ Shikamaru to help fix your brain a give you a 3D chess set like in star trek. Hope it helps! Kiba, here's the bubble card. have fun but be careful. (I hear Yue's gonna kick the ass of whoever took the wand) P.S. the undead monkeys wit me, lucy gave him too me. :)

Shikamaru: -rocks back and forth, twitchingJiraiya: Aww dammit…I am so no good at these. –starts trying- gah! Dammit! No! It will not get me with its frustrating addictiveness! –throws to other side of roomShikamaru: Trouble—chess? –pokes chess set, sits properly and starts setting upKiba: Speaking of cards…my manda card is blank… Zakura: He’s in mexico. He’ll go back into the card when he returns. Kiba: Oh cool… -Jiraiya starts inching by in the background towards the puzzle box-

Kiba: -smacks bubble card with wand- RELEASE!!!! -bubbles start spurting from his wandKiba: SWEET-ASS!! –Runs around room, filling it with bubblesShino: -face-palmsLucifel: Yeah, just so long as she keeps the monkey off me, I’m cool. Polly: CRACKERS!!! –jumps on my headLucifel: I WILL SEND YOU INTO THE DEEPEST PIT OF HELL AND KEEP YOU THERE IF YOU DON’T GET OFF ME RIGHT NOW!! Polly: -backs away slowlySaku/Naru/Lee: O.o the hostile sheep takeover was a failure because i had to move and now i have to go to a new high school. i try again later(i named the sheep.^__^ i named it nightmare)though do you guys have any more advice on hostile takeovers?(i have the minions for it) for everybody: why were you playing as pirates? ninja's and pirates have been rivals since like ever!!( i swa someone once that had asign that said, "hug a ninja; kill a pirate"...i hugged that guy 6 times) deidara-kun: how did you get those mouths on ur hands??(they're there other than making clay huh?) sakura, you should realize that since zakura is a lesbian, you are too because hey, she is you. so you don't have to be hating because someone isn't straight.

Itachi: Hmm, well, if you have minions that’s a whole ‘nother story. Orochimaru: Nightmare is a good name for a sheep. Itachi: Focus here. Minions and a world that can’t be taken over by sheep, what should she do? Orochimaru: That is difficult. Well, I guess you could always use nailclippers— Itachi: ORO! You can’t suggest that to a novice! Orochimaru: Oh, what could be the harm? I’m sure she knows what she’s doing! Itachi: She couldn’t even use sheep properly. Orochimaru: Must be a tough world. Itachi: I don’t know…nailclippers are just TOO risky.

Zakura: Who are you guys? American fucking airlines? What’s this shit about nailclippers? Itachi: You have no idea…no idea…even the akatsuki haven’t used them yet. Deidara: I trim my toenails all the time. Itachi: Not like that, dumbass. Of course, we all take good care of our nails. Deidara: Oh… Neji: Ok, figure this. Everyone: -figuresNeji: Ninja’s are awesome and sexy. Everyone: -nodsNeji: Pirates are also awesome and sexy. Everyone: -nods again…Kiba blows a few more bubblesNeji: So ninja-pirates…. Zakura: Are FUCKING awesome and FUCKING sexy! VWOOT! Neji: Exactly! -Kabuto goes and plays against Shika at 3d chessDeidara: Is a secret, yeah. Itachi: When you have a really annoying speech pattern random bad things happen. Deidara: So not true, yeah. It was a very painful and intense procedure…mmmm yeah. Itachi: Masochist. Deidara: Sadist. Orochimaru: I can play both. Ita/Dei: Sweeeet.

Zakura: But I’m her opposite and subdued sides. The point being made here is that EVERYONE is really bi and they merely suppress one side of themselves. Sakura: …eww…being les would suck. There are so few hot ninja girls compared to guys. And besides, no girl could compare to Sasuke. Kabuto: Are you still on about that brat? Sakura: -sticks out tongue- Of course. He’s the love of my life. Kabuto: -scoffs, rolls eyes, takes Shikamaru’s knightBehold!The power of the mighty 300 in the movie "300" on this 40' tv/dvd combo. Stare at the Spartan soldiers manly figures and laugh at Xerxes' overrated voice. Sakura: Have you heard of a girl named Karin? Shes tall, wears glasses but looks just like Sasuke when she takes them off. Kyuubi: Would you really want nerophiliacs fawning over your dead body, in complete idol worship?

Everyone: SPARTANS!! -movie night!Orochimaru: I want my own Spartan soldier. Zakura: fuck, I just want that oracle. MROW. Sakura: No. I haven’t. But I bet Zakura’d love her. Zakura: How do you figure? Sakura: Well, I mean, I like Sasuke, but you’re lesbian, so you would like a girl Sasuke right? Zakura: Umm…no. Not at all. –glances at HinataKyuubi: It wasn’t an actual of what will happen. I was just making a general statement about my sexiness. Naruto knows all about that. Naruto: -rolls eyes and scoots further away from KyuubiLucifiel: Wanna go have sex, like, right now? Kyuubi: Here. *Tosses him a card* Say, "Smexy", and that gives you a vixen to have sex with. Hinata: I dare you to make-out with Naruto for an hour, open mouth, and full of tougne. No one is allowed to interfere.

Lucifel: -snigger- You’re horrible. Naruto: BURN! Lucifel: I didn’t mean like that.

Naruto: oh… Kyuubi: I prefer seducing, but thanks, it’ll be nice to have back-up…as if I can’t always get what I want. –smirks at NarutoNaruto: Whyyyy? Why me? Neji: no shit why you. That is so not fair. Zakura: Ok, but I have infinite interfering powers, so lets say…a peck on the cheek? Hinata: -blushes furiouslyNaruto: Sure, ok. –kisses Hinata’s cheekKyuubi: Come on, he requested a little tongue. Lick her! Zakura: -twitchNaruto: Uh… Hinata: HUWAH!? Kiba: -growlsKurenai: Down boy, this is a good thing. Naruto: Uhh…-quickly licks her cheek and then runs off blushingHinata: -faintsZakura: -catches- I hate you Kyuubi. Kyuubi: You should be thanking me. She’s unconscious in your arms. Zakura: -blushItachi and Gaara, I give you Naruto on a leash and the best you can do is strangle him! -sigh- Kyuubi maybe you'll do better, -gives Kyuubi the leash- Naruto is now yours for this chapter. Also when you guys train and fight, how many trees do you take down, you’re overloading the atmosphere with Carbon dioxide, how do you survive? Also I heard every ninja has their own individual quirk, Itachi yours is supposedly a pocky addiction, what are your quirks? June x

Gaara: -mutters- sorry.

Itachi: Don’t blame him, there was naked Lee. Lee: Yes, that would distract and intimidate any opponent!! –Stands proudGaara: -bluuuushKyuubi: -takes leash- right on. –Tugs Naruto over to himNaruto: -YELPKyuubi: So, -leans in- guess what I’m gonna make you do? Naruto: Oh no…no… Kyuubi: That’s right… Naruto: -whimperKyuubi: -lies down on the floor- my back is killing me with all this standing-upright nonsense. Work it out for me would you, kit? Naruto: -blink, blink- I hope you know I hate youKyuubi: Yeah… Kiba: Everyone knows that trees used for dramatic training effect don’t matter. And besides, the trees we cut down that way are the only trees we use for other stuff. And we don’t have as much need for tree-supplies, so really we’re still pretty well off. Shino: That was…surprisingly well-informed. Kurenai: I’m shocked and impressed. Kiba: You’re all jerks. Itachi: No, no, the pocky thing was to cover my incest fettish. Someone thought it would loose popularity for us or something. Zakura: Most quirks are really obvious. And besides, every human has a few quirks of their own, nothing really strange about it. God. Sakura: Well, everyone just wants to know about our lifestyles. We’re like celebrities!! Kabuto: Right and you’d be the stupid pop-princess bimbo nobody likes, right? Sakura: You are such a bastard.

Kabuto: And I don’t even try. HT: ok. who there thinks sakura and kabuto make an adorable couple? fluffy: meow!! amber: shut up cat! fluffy: -sniffleHT: aw... -hugs fluffyamber: -throws fluffy in the roomHT: OMG! FLUFFY!! NO! dont hurt my kitty! amber -whispers- kill him. he tastes like chinese.

Orochimaru: I do! Kabuto: wtf? Orochimaru-sama…how could you betray me like that? Orochimaru: But you guys are aborable. Violence in a relationship is the best! Shikamaru: -glances up at Kabuto after taking his bishop- does he beat you? Kabuto: -sighs and nodsHaku: KITTY!! Kiba: -growlsShino: Down boy. Kiba: But it’s a— Shino: I know. Kiba: I’ve gotta— Shino: Kiba, Haku is currently cuddling the kitty and will be very upset if you hurt it. What do you think that would make Zabuza do? Kiba: Oh….that’s a good point. umm...now that the viola conflict is over and I'm out of muffins...aha! 1. -grabs a bunch of random household things and places them in a giant pot over the stove.. the green liquid releases a purple smoke, then it turns orange. gets ladle and pours some liquid into a plastic vial. sticks rest in the fridge2. I have no idea what this might do but if it works I'll give you some more. be careful, and it's not in a glass container so it shouldn't break if dropped. -The Muffinator 3

Kyuubi: -takes vial and examines- Right…so that would make this what? A household proficiency potion? Kabuto: Most orange potions—

Itachi: We don’t wanna hear it nerd-face. Kabuto: Fine. Like I care. Shikamaru: Check mate. Kabuto: Fuck. Shikamaru: -getting up and stretching- that’s much better. Jiraiya: The girls keep picking on us guys and older folk. I say we make Kiba drink it. Kiba: Like I haven’t dealt with enough abuse! Jiraiya: Well, then Shino. Shino: I have my idiot boyfriend to watch out for! Make it one of the bad guys! Itachi: Hey! We’re all exiles and unloved except by crazy fan girls! We don’t deserve this! Zakura: Whoa, whoa, calm down guys, I know a way we can settle this and all be happy. Everyone: How? Zakura: By force-feeding it to Sakura! Sakura: HEY! Lee/Naru: That won’t make me happy!! Zakura: You guys don’t count. Hinata: Poor Sakura! Zakura: Let’s give it to Lee!! Lee: AGH!! Gaara: NO! –tackles ZakuraPotion: -flies in the air, the cork pops out, it turns over, and lands opening-down in Gaara’s mouth. Gaara: -gulp- Aww fuck…

Deidara: Can your clay be used as a super glue? Kankuro and Gaara: I dare Gaara to wear Karasu on his back and Kankuro to wear the sand gourd on his back for the rest of the chapter. Go on, switch! It will amuse me! As for the gift: So you guys don't miss the wilderness, I give you an indoor tree! (presents a black, twisted, lifeless tree about eight feet tall) It is NOT (wink wink) formerly a certain shapeshifting master of darkness imprisoned in this state by a sacred katana. So, uh, enjoy it!

Deidara: Oh yeah. What you do is put the pieces together…and then cover the whole thing with clay! Itachi: Works SO well… Lee: Gaara! Gaara are you ok!? Gaara: phwa? –blink, blink- where am I? Lee: Oh no!! Are you seeing places, Gaara?! Can you tell that I am right here?! Are you hallucinating? Are you all right? Speak to me Gaara! Gaara: -looks around- is that me? Lee: Where? Do you see a copy of yourself somewhere? Gaara: No…but I meant…am I this Gaara person? Lee: …Of course you are. You can see me? Gaara: -nods- and this strange room we’re in. Who are you, again? Zakura: Fuck it, kid’s got amnesia. Lee; NOOOOOO!!! Gaara: Hey, calm down, I don’t feel so bad. Kimimaro: -runs over- Gaara! Gaara: …oh, sorry, right that’s me. Can I help you? Kimimaro: -whimper…hugsKankuro: We have no time to be switching accessories! My brother has no memory! I can use that to get in his pants! Kimimaro: -punches KankKyuubi: -ignoring Naruto tugging at leash trying to get to Gaara- Hey! Sweet ass! Orochimaru: Can we make a tree fort?

Kyuubi: you can make ME a tree fort! Orochimaru: Will I get to hang out in it? Kyuubi: No. Orochimaru: You’re no fun… Haku: I haven't been asking you a lot of questions or anything...that makes me feel bad, so have you ever thought of wearing frilly dresses? Hinata: Same question as Haku Naruto: you poor thing being treated like shit. (shoves narutos face into boobs and hugs him tighly) MiniDeath

Haku: Well I— Ayame: I HAVE! –thrusts dress at Haku- Oh please wear it for me! Haku: Teehee, ok. –puts on frilly dress. Zabuza: -grabs Haku into his arms.- you are so adorable…now let me get that thing OFF you. Haku: But Zabuza-san…the wonder of dresses is that you don’t NEED to take them off! Zabuza: …-shudders and pulls Haku into the closetAyame: One for you too Hinata! Hinata: oh yay! –puts on dress- hee. –blushEveryone: Awww. Gaara: -smiles absentlyNaruto: -blushes and nose-bleeds on boobsJiraiya: GAH! You lucky bastard! No fair! Why does he get boobs? Orochimaru: I kind of miss my boobs… Jiraiya: Yeah me too. AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY MONKEY KIBA?! And I know you didn't burn it! Where is my lovely little undead monkey that I gave for you people/things! He better be safe, or I swear you won't be able to sit for a year! Sakura: Why does everyone hate you? You aren't that annoying little brat anymore.. right? Do you people like cake? Well even if you dont't *a giant chocolate cake gets thrown into the room and squishes Orochimaru*

Whoops. Krissechan

Kiba: I DON’T KNOW!! I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS!! Sakura: He’s with Kohaku. Kiba: He is? Sakura: I guess I can’t blame you for paying no attention…sometimes I try not to… Naruto: I don’t have to try. Kyuubi: Get up this tree, kit. Naruto: -sighs and climbsSakura: I don’t know! Ask them! Zakura: How many times are we gonna explain it? Lee: Sakura is not hated! Gaara: Geez, why would she be? Zakura: You, amnesia-induced innocence is disturbing coming from you. Knock it off. Gaara: I’m…sorry? Orochimaru: -eats his way out of cake- Tastiest escape ever! Kiba: I want to know why she asked! –jumps at cakeDei-kun: Do u think that having the Sharingan is an unfair advantage as well as a curse seal? Itachi: Speaking of you, VIOLAS AND VIOLINS R WAY DIFFERENT! Take it from someone whose been in orchestra and a violast for several years! The violas r all layed back and go with the flow, while the violins r whiny little pieces of crap who cry about not getting first chair and try to con others out of landing first part! -.- it's quite annoying. OH rigght.. Im supposed to ask a question. Umm... If u used ur mangekyo on REGULAR (That's with Zakura inside her) What would happen? Shino: What's ur real face look like? And would ya show everyone if i threatened to dye ur bugs pink!

Deidara: Yes! Totally! Itachi was always using it in bed! Yeah! Sasori: slut! Orochimaru: they meant in battle. Deidara: Yeah…why? Sasori: ugh, keep up with your own story line, dammit.

Deidara: Aww… Itachi: Damn! Ok! I never knew someone could be so touchy about a bunch of wood and strings. They both sound equally whiny. And uh…she’d die. Zakura: I’d kick your ass so many different ways. Shino: This…isn’t my real face? Kiba: -looks suspiciously at ShinoShino: And no. you couldn’t even reach my bugs. Kiba: Dude, don’t challenge the fan girl. Shino: Whatever. Haku: I think pink bugs would be cute! Shino: -.Gaara: Umm…does anyone know why I have a gourd on my back? –removesLee: OH GAARA!! –falls sobbing across his lap-throws a holy cross at Sasori's baby just to see what will happen- that thing is so not gonna be Ashlynn's playmate. Naruto, i dare you to...make out with Kyuubi and punch Sakura for no apparent reason...in the face. -brings out super glue and try to piece Shika back together but then gives up and resolves to cuddling Lucy-

Sasori: NOOOOO! –jumps in the way of crossDeidara: Wow! You did that to save your baby’s life? Sasori: Hell no! I was afraid it would purify him! Daimos: -wicked grinDeidara: What about you, yeah? Sasori: I’m beyond saving. –holds up burnt hands- see? Cross almost took them with it. Deidara: With it yeah? Sasori: It disintegrated when I touched.

Dei/Ita/Oro/Kyuu: Niiiice. Kyuubi: Well, a fan-dare is final. –garbs Naruto and pins him against the tree-trunk, making out with him ionately. Zakura: How horny must you be to make out with THAT? Kyuubi: -taking a momentary break- not very, surprisingly. He’s pretty cute…and tasty. Everyone: =O Naruto: -punches Sakura as he flails to get away from KyuubiShikamaru: Well, for one I’m already fixed. Two…that’s entirely the wrong brand of superglue. Kiba: woah.. that was such a random comment coming from you. I expected something logical like “you can’t fix minds with super glue!” Shikamaru: Like you can doubt anything in this place? Oro: Don't bitchslap me you assclown -bitchslaps OroItachi: -shoves M-80 in your eye socket and lites it- You have 5 seconds until you become a pirate again Kankuro: I give you infinite bannanna muffins! No one can take them from you GO NUTS!

Orochimaru: Oww…-bitchslapsItachi: This could become a horrible cycle… -.- GAH! –pulls bomb out of eye and hand to KibaKiba: Whu? -BOOMKiba: -cough- dammit… -collapsesShino: -sighs and tends to KibaKankuro: eheh…heh…Heheheh…heeheehee…AHAHAHAHEHSHEHAHAHAHA!!!! – explosion of black smoke, the sound of things ripping and breaking and lots of howling and as the smoke clears Kankuro is disappeared…but they can still hear him howling.Kiba: Ok, how come he gets to escape? Itachi: -going pale- so he can hunt… Orochimaru: We’ll be fine. We can all kick like, super ass.

Itachi: no…not this. I don’t think so. And only Gaara knows how we might fix this. Gaara: …is this very bad? Everyone: -DOOMED1. Jiraiya: Have you ever met Happosai from Ranma 1/2? You guys would probably get along well. 2. Hinata: Cutest..character..ever. Where do you see yourself in 10-15 years?? 3. Shikamaru: You are my favorite character (well..You're tied with Gaara) but I have to ask you; Considering how you are the laziest person this side of Konoha, why do you put your hair up in a style that looks like it takes hours of careful preparation?

Jiraiya: Oh no…but if he’s anything like me I don’t see how the world could handle it if we got together! Buwahaha! Kurenai: I’d need more frying pans…-smack Jiraiya- hah, this one’s starting to get an imprint of your face, Jira. Jiraiya: -thumbs up as he twitches on the groundHinata: -while Itachi and Orochimaru run around trying to find Kankuro and sealing little holes- Oh, umm, well in that time I hope to have become a jonin and just about settling down and starting a family. I’d hopefully already be married. And I want the two hyuuga families to be united. Neji: -under his breath- oh, I’ll unite the families… Zakura: -bitch-slapShikamaru: Oh, it doesn’t take long. I have static-charged hair-ties that make it like that instantly. Kiba: …why? Shikamaru: to keep it off my neck. Kiba: So why don’t you cut it? Shikamaru: Well…there are times when wearing it down…I mean he…uh…that wasn’t a question! –stalks to a corner and writes ChojiNaruto: -still being Vacuum-sucked by Kyuubi- HALP!! Lucifel: So, that’s all for now. I’m starting another weekly story (non fan-interactive) this Friday. Again, I apologize for the late update. I’ve been crazy busy, Updates might be a little sporadic until the school year starts. K bye!

Ask Sakura 35 Lucifel: -wails!- I forgot to say happy birthday to Frog Prince last time! How could I be so cruel?! I’m a horrible person! Also, the reason for the late update is that I spent all of Monday reading Harry Potter… BLAME HARRY! IT’S NOT MY FAULT! THEY ALL DIE! Everyone: -screams and cringesLucifel: Not YOU guys. Everyone: -phewOrochimaru: If they’re all dead can I have Snape and Malfoy? Lucifel: No, but you all get wands and wizarding robes! And your room now looks like (an albeit fairly empty) teachers office! Weird stuff on the walls, a desk, you know. Kiba: -pokes dog statue and it tries to bite his finger- HEY! Lucifel: (btw, I promise no spoilers, don’t worry) I give Daimos a rattle... snake. As for Shika, pick either sexy kimono that hangs off the shoulders or lollita dress. That's what you're wearing for the rest of the chapter. Gaara I hope you feel better, maybe a frappucino will jog your memory! -throws frapucinno at GaaraThat's all for now. Love you all! Kahaku

Daimos: SQUEEEE! –starts swinging the snake around over his head.-

Sasori: Daimos…Daimos knock it off I’m trying to pack you securely…DAIMOS STOP THE FUCKING NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!! Daimos: -throws snake down Sasori’s shirtSasori: -frantically tries to pull the snake out and make sure it doesn’t get down his pants. Orochimaru: -comes forward and gently coaxes the snake out and then, still cooing at it and petting it, walks over to the crates and sits upon themSasori: Thanks. –finishes cello-taping a big box with air-holes in it…- right, and back to that mother of yours you go. -chucks Daimos’ bozo out a window and it sails away to the horizonItachi: I thought you’d want him to stick for training and stuff? Sasori: Naw, I trust the rest of them… Dei/Ita: Why? Sasori: -rolls eyesShikamaru: Oh my god…are you kidding me? I thought this girl was supposed to LIKE me! Itachi: You know fangirls. If they like you, they want to see you in a dress. Shikamaru: But this is insane! Zakura: Bitch if you don’t pick soon I’m going to pick for you, and let Ayame do all sort alterations— Shikamaru: Fine! Kimono then! Zakura: right on! Accio Kimono! –waves wand and the Kimono comes zipping inItachi: So unnecessary Zakura: but it was fun. Ha! I have the biggest wand here! Kyuubi: What the fuck ever. –snaps own wand and tosses it asideMen: -flinch-

Gaara: -is staring in confusion at his wand when a Frappuccino appear in his hand, his gaze shifts to that.- Wait…this…this is…AGH! Lee: -jumps to his side- What? What is it?! Gaara: Headache…I’m ok now…-sips frapRANDOM SORTING!! Zakura: Since we don’t have a sorting hat we’re using a sorting “protective-rubber”. Everyone: O.o Zakura: I’m joking. We’re using a sorting forehead-protector. –holds up a blank forehead protector- So, alphabetically. DEIDARA!! Deidara: -skips foreward and ties on the forehead protector-a mouth appears on the metal and shrieks- SLYTHERIN!! Deidara: Yee! I’m cunning! Yeah! –runs over to the far left of the roomZakura: GAARA!! Gaara: -looking ABSOLUTELY confused does as Deidara didSorting Forehead Protector: ……………… Gaara: WELL?! SFP: Well if you’re going to be rude I’ll just put you in hufflepuff shall I? Your head seems muddled enough. Gaara: That’s not fair! I have amnesia! SFP: Sure, you do love. Gaara: -feeling offended goes and stands just next to DeidaraZakura: HAKU!! Haku: -skips forewardSFP: …RAVENCLAW! Haku: Oh yay! –goes next to Gaara-

Zakura: HINATA!! Hinata: -tremblingly put on SFPSFP: GRYFFINDOR!! Hinata: -unsurely wanders to the far right of the roomZakura: ITACHI!! Itachi: -strolls forwardSFP: Hmm…RAVENCLAW!! Itachi: W-what… SFP: You heard me batty! TO RAVENCLAW! Itachi: What…why…how… SFP: MOVE YOUR TUSH! Itachi: -utterly shocked moves to stand behind HakuZakura: JIRAIYA!! SFP: GRYFFINDOR!! Jiraiya: EHEHE! YEAH!!! –goes behind HinataZakura: KABUTO!! SFP: SLYTHERIN!! Kabuto: -saunters with a smirk over to Slytherin side as Deidara claps madlyZakura: KIBA!! Kiba: -puts on SFPSFP: Hm…dimwitted…but definitely courageous…where shall we put you… Kiba: Gryffindor? SFP: Eh, why not? GRYFFINDOR!

Kiba: VWOOT! Gaara: -is looking more and more deserted and confusedZakura: KIMIMARO! SFP: HUFFLEPUFF!! Orochimaru: MY KIMI IS NO HUFFLEPUFF! SFP: He is blindly and stupidly loyal. I stand by my word. Kimimaro: -shrugs and goes happily to stand with GaaraZakura: KURENAI! Kurenai: Oh come on now, I’m a little old for— SFP: MOVE YOUR TUSH YOU OLD BIDDY!! Kurenai: Flushes and jams the SFP on her headSFP: RAVENCLAW! Zakura: KYUUBI!! Kyuubi: -still in tree- Um, no. I’m a fucking Demon. Zakura; Bitch if you— Kyuubi: NO! I hate fucking Harry Potter! NO! Zakura: fine. LEE!! Lee: -jumps forwardSFP: HUFFLEPUFF!! Lee: Aww…well, all right. –goes and s Kimi and Gaara and they start talking animatedlyZakura: NARUTO! SFP: Oh, god, another one of these chosen one types…well, if you’re gonna be the hero guess it has to be GRYFFINDOR!!!

Naruto: -rushes over to Hinata and Jiraiya triumphantlyZakura: NEJI!! Neji: -full of stuck-up confidence puts it onSFP: RAVENCLAW!! Neji: Well, dammit. –looks at Hinata in disappointmentOrochimaru: -walks forward and barely touches the SFP before:SFP: You’re kidding right? SLYTHERIN! Orochimaru: WHOOP! Zakura: SAKURA!! Sakura: -runs forwardSFP: HUFFLEPUFF!! Sakura: HEY! Lee: Come on Sakura! We’re happy to have you! Sakura: -grumbleZakura: SASORI!! SFP: SLYTHERIN! Deidara: -hugs Sasori as he goes overZakura: SHIKAMARU! SFP: Oh my, this is the most Ravenclaw mind I’ve ever seen. Shikamaru: -rolls eyes and goes overZakura: ZABUZA! Zabuza: I’m just sticking with Haku… Zakura: -slaps SFP on his forehead-

SFP: SLYTHERIN! AND NO ARGUING! Zabuza: -goes over and stands with the slytherins and pulls Haku over to make out with him roughlyZakura: And I’m head master. Right on. Sakura: What was the point of this!? Zakura: -shrugs- Randomness. A.H.S: Anyhow... It seems people are really hating me cept Oro-chan...So... 1) To Oro: Everylast scrap of Uchihacest I have on this precharged Laptop...As well as two smexy Cabana boys. 2) Saku-chan!!: A case of Margurita mix. Is it true you have an underwear fetish and are a yaoi fanatic? 3) Dei-chan: Though we do have some past animosity, I give you a brick of C4...!

Orochimaru: Oh my god… Zakura: You know what else? Orochimaru: what? Zakura: Well, this is HP-style world right now, right? Orochimaru: yeah… Zakura: And what do pictures in the HP world do? Orochimaru: They…well they…move……….OMG!!! –starts up laptop frantically and opens first file- OH MY GOD IT’S WONDERFUL! Itachi: -glances over- ha, I’ll have to really try that. Kankuro: -from somewhere- AAAAUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Kurenai: Was that supposed to be a howl? Kiba: No shit man, pathetic. This is a howl. AAAUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Shino: …right… Orochimaru: You know, now he’s either gonna consider you an enemy or a mate… Kiba: NO!! Wait…Kanky’s kinda hot… Shino: -smacks-

Kiba: I mean, NO, nononono. Never. Shino: -sighs and rolls eyesSakura: -while making a margarita- I don’t have a fetish, I just like buying cute underwear, and…I’ll it…I occasionally used to enjoy the occasional yaoi shot. I can guarantee you now though, I’m definitely sick of it…never again. And I NEVER wanted Sasuke with a man. –gulps margaritaKabuto: Careful. You’re a little young to drink so— Sakura: You’re not telling the other kids that! Get lost! Kabuto: -scowlDeidara: YAY! Itachi: You better save that for when Kankuro shows up. Orochimaru: What's with all the "THEY" crap? I'm a GIRL! Not an IT! yeah, I'm talking to you! Question.. question... Oh! What's up with the long tongue thingy?? And if ur supposed to represent a snake why isn't it forked? HM? Gaara: Why u like Lee? Don't even try to deny it OR play the inoocent act! Saso/Dei: I dare u two to switch ur opinions on art for... the next year! MUAHAHA! (Which means Sasori has to say "Art is a Bang!")

Orochimaru: The long tongue is something that was gained by stealing a body that could do that, enhanced with jutsu and stuff. It’s also to make all the ladies pine after the amazing oral they’ll never receive from me. and I SHOULD get it forked! That’s be awesome! –points wand at tongue- um…forkus tongus? -with a flash his tongue is not forked, but covered in blue and green polka dotsOrochimaru: Well…that’s kind of cool too…-starts waving tongue aroundGaara: Oh, I—-turns to Less- I like you? Lee: I always thought you did. Gaara: -blushKiba: -in Lee’s ear- you know he means like like you, right? Lee: Yes, I am very fond of him as well. Kiba: you love him? Lee: As a worthy companion! Yes!

Kiba: Right… Gaara: Oh, oh yeah that’d make sense. –disappointedSasori: You can’t just TELL someone to change their opinion it’s a lot harder than that. I’ll always believe art is bang. Deidara: -snickerSasori: Well, dammit. I thought Kurenai might be lonely being the only kick ass woman so -throws in Anko- here's another lunatic to in the fun... Kyuubi at long last someone who see Naru is cute and someone who knows how to use a leash I guess this won't go to waste on you -gives a sex toy fun kit- have fun... Neji what made you a slut? June x

Kurenai: NO! Don’t throw that woman in— CRACK! Anko apparates into existence. Kurenai: --here. Anko: KURENAI! –flings herself at Kurenai- How are you? Kurenai: I’m…I’m fine. How about you? Anko: I’m fucking great! I…I…WHAT IS OROCHIMARU DOING HERE!! Orochimaru: Anko! –holds arms out for a hugAnko: -dives- ORO! I haven’t seen you in ages! How are you! Orochimaru: Same as always. Horny and sexy. Anko: AMEN! Who’s the lucky bastard you’re taking it out on now? Not still that nerd of yours, is it? Kabuto: …hey! Does she mean me?! Kimimaro: -pat, pat- its ok, Kabuto. -Anko and Oro start chattingKurenai: At least she didn’t try to get it on with me this time…

Kyuubi: Who needs sex toys? I can do all the crazy stuff one needs with just my body. – looks at kit- oh but I guess I could use these a little… Naruto: -whimpersNeji: The sex. Who doesn’t want a shit-ton of sex? Anko: KID! I like you. You really understand how things work. Kurenai: -face-palmAnko: I’ve slept with a couple guys in my time (before I learned better) I could give you some serious tips. Neji: seriously?! Anko: Yeah, come over here and you can try on Oro. Neji: -blushAnko: Like you care. Oro’s sexy. Get your ass over here. Neji: -obeysZakura: -gapesSakura: Zakura…are you ok? Zakura: That woman is my GOD. Anko: -hears- Would you like to sleep with god? Zakura: huh, hell yeah. Anko: Get over here. As soon as I’m done teaching Neji I’ll show you some stuff. Zakura: -shuddersDeidara and Itachi: I heard disturbing rumors about Tobi behaving... erratically (not that far in the storyline yet). Can you confirm or deny these? Kyuubi: Why do you let Naruto dress like that? Jiraiya: Your puzzle box is smoking. I thought you should know.

Deidara: Oh, I make tobi behave erratically, yeah. Itachi: yeah ya do! –high-fives-

Kyuubi: I have no control over how he dresses…Undressing him, however, I can do. – starts pulling at his orange jumpedNaruto: NO! what are you doing?! Leave me alone! Geroff!! AAAGGG!! Jiraiya: -pulls Naruto out of the treeKyuubi: HEY! Jiraiya: Oh, give him a break, foxy. , I TAUGHT the man that kicked your ass last time. Kyuubi: Yeah, but you’re too fond of living to die and do the same thing. Jiraiya: Either way, I’m taking Naruto for a bit. Kyuubi: Selfish old man. Jiraiya: -with Naruto huddled defensively in his lap keeps trying to open the now smoking puzzle boxJiraiya: aww do you want a hug Jiraiya-san? All you had to do was ask! (shoves Jiraiyas face into boobs and hugs him) Itachi: um can i hug you? I have fraps! (holds up a box of munti-flavored fraps) Lucifel: May i barrow Jiraya for a little bit i have a few...things i need to do with-i mean for-i mean-can i just have him? MiniDeath

Jiraiya: WOO-OMPH. –pulls away- hehehe…-distractedItachi: Yeah sure, as long as you don’t put my face in those things of you—OMPH. – pulls away- what did I say about boobs?! Gaara: Can I…have one of those? Kiba: O.o YOU WANT A HUG?! Gaara: No, a frap. Kiba: oh. I see. Jiraiya: YES! BORROW ME! Naruto: -scrunches his nose and gets away from JiraiyaLucifel: No. this is a torture chamber, Jiraiya would like that too much. Orochimaru: Gah I'll end the chain of slaps -implants uranium is his skullItachi: I always wondered what would happen if you swallowed 4 gallons of ecstasy pills, washed it down

with alchohol and sniffed crack so -hands him 4 gallons of pills and a 6 six pack of Corona- It was a little difficult to get this one -hands him a kilo of crack- I dare you to eat the pills, drink the beer, and sniff the crack Gaara: If you have amnesia, if I told you Temari was your girlfriend would you believe me?

Orochimaru: Woah…I feel like a mutant. Anko: Maybe you got super powers! Orochimaru: -runs across the room- Not super-speed… -tries pull the tree out of the ground- not super-strength…-concentrates on Sakura- not lazer beams that shoot out of my eyes… Sakura: HEY! Kabuto: Master, come here and I’ll check you for any unusual symptoms… Orochimaru: Naw, this way’s more fun. Anko: No shit, nerdy, go level up your druid paladin or whatever. Kabuto: -walks off grumbling about no such thing as a druid paladinItachi: Psh, I done this before. No big deal. –takes everything- Ho shit. –sways- WHOA! LOOK AT MY HANDS!! Deidara: ? Itachi: They’re HUGE. Deidara: Teehee. You’re high, yeah. Itachi: WHOA! You’re right! I’m like, IN THE SKY! Look how far away the ground is! –lies on his stomachGaara: Not NOW. I have amnesia but I’m not stupid… Kankuro: -still nowhere to be seen- GAARAAAAAA!! Gaara:… Lee: That’s you ? Gaara: Oh…damn… Naruto: NO! KYUUBI GET OFF HIM YOU PERV! and, I don't think Naruto has had ramen for a long time... I'll give it to you if you act like you love Sasuke for the whole chapter!! Kurenai: I'll give you more frying pans. And chocolate.

Kyuubi: -whines- I’m off, already! Naruto: -whimper and hides behind Kurenai- HEY RAMEN! Orochimaru: So, what do you think of Sasuke? Naruto: I…gyuh…no… -ramen starts to fadeNaruto: I WISH I COULD HAVE SASUKE’S BABIES!! –grabs ramen desperatelyShikamaru: -twitchSakura: -gapes in horrorItachi: -howls at the hilaritySakura: -slapsAnko: Ugh, I’M never having babies. I wish I was a man… Orochimaru: Oooh, you’d make a sexy man. Anko: I know! Zakura: you make a damn hot lady too… Kurenai: Sometimes I wish I could pull the frying pan on women…why do I keep gett8ing more of these? I could start a freaking collection. Sakura: The men of the world shall cower in fear at the prospect. thanks orochimaru for the idea (sends a sauke plushie...i suggest you keep that away from sakura though) but i believe itachi-san is right(sends packs of mt. dew); i don't believe i'm ready for nail-clippers, besides i'm on summer vacation, this my time to be on the computer all day and be lazy for haku-chan- if you had a kid, boy or a girl what would you name them?? for kyuubi-san- have you ever had sex with the other tailed demons for zabuza-san- same question as haku-chan. ja ne!

Itachi: I’m glad you saw reason. –sips Mt. dewKiba: You do know that kills sperm right? Itachi: So? I’m not planning on impregnating anyone. Anko: KYA! This plushie is so cute! Where can I get one of Kurenai?

Kurenai: -flinchOrochimaru: The fans send truckloads of ‘em. I don’t know why they never send new gifts but I’m not really complaining. –prods with wand to make it do a little danceHaku: Oh, probably something relating to summer and sunshine. To counteract my wintry, snowy life, you know? I’d want a girl, they’re so much easier and prettier…I’d probably name her after a flower, like Nadeshiko or something. Zabuza: no. We’d have a boy. And name him something bad-ass like Tsume. Haku: Aww…but I could get dresses for the girl! Zabuza: What am I gonna do? down my sword to a girl?! Haku: Not MY baby girl! We’ll have peaceful children! Zabuza: Warriors! Kabuto: Um…you guys can’t have a baby anyone so… Haku: Oh, that’s right, -crestfallenKyuubi: Yeah, a couple. Six and Eight tails are pretty hot. Naruto: What are they like? Kyuubi: Eight-tails is all sexy and cat-like, really lithe. Six-tails is a little slower-minded but DAMN hot and great in bed…well, not like we do it in bed… Naruto: Eww. Kyuubi: It's hard to come up with a good way to torture you..so...I decided to -not- torture Naruto, and dare you to not make-out/try to seduce/seduce/or anything else like that for the next 3 chapters. Orochimaru: I dare you to have sex for the next three days. Itachi&Gaara: I dare you both to say you hate and despise Fraps. P.S. *Tosses in Aslan, from Narnia*

Zakura: Kyuubi, you’re lucky. Three chapters is too long and Lucifel’ll forget so it’s just for the rest of this chapter. Kyuubi: …NO! NOO! That is unacceptable! I refuse! Zakura: Then I guess we’ll just have give you nothing to vent it with. Kyuubi: -crossing legs- ALL RIGHT! ALRIGHT ALREADY! Jiraiya: SCREW IT!! –crushes puzzle box with rasengan and it fall apart- …huh?

-inside there lies a single, cracked ring with a strange symbol on itJiraiya: What the fuck is that? Zakura: A horcrux ring. Jiraiya: -twitch- The point of which is? Zakura: To keep a bit of Voldemort’s soul. Orochimaru: Give me that…I want to KILL it. Zakura: It’s already been done… Orochimaru: So WHAT’S THE POINT! Zakura: To piss Jiraiya off. Jiraiya: goddammit. Maybe I can transfigure it into something… Zakura: Doubtful. Naruto: Oh, cause its such a powerful magical item? Zakura: No, cause Jiraiya’s freaking DENSE. Orochimaru: that’s ok, I wasn;t getting laid too much lately anyway, Jiraiya: Oh and I was just thinking how some good loving with a lot of tongue would help ease the frustration of this whole thing… Orochimaru: -whimperJiraiya: -turns away and smiles evily- muwahhaa, my revenge on the world is done! Gaara: …I can’t do that. I’ve lost my memory, everything that made me who I am. These fraps…the bring back a part of me…a little bit of that thing I lost…you can’t make me say I hate them…you can’t…it would destroy me. Itachi: I’ll say it. I hate fraps. It ain’t true, but I’ll say it. –sucks down a frap- I guess I am witty like a Ravenclaw. Naruto: No one cares about Ravenclaw! It’s all about Gryffindor! Sakura: No shit…that’s so dumb. Those poor Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs…it’s so sexist. J.K. is a bitch.

Aslan: Hello children. Kiba: GEEZ IT’S A LION! Aslan: It is not my only form…I did not think is where I would end up after the final battle though… Kyuubi: Get over it furry. Aslan: -confusedHT: lets see...if i correctly, whenever kankuro had a muffin frenzy i would put him in a closet with akito and then id put a vacuum on his head. amber: and it actually worked... HT: but you dont have akito, or a vacuum... or a flying panda. amber: i think akito is still in the closet though... HT: yeah... anyway,haku, can you protect fluffy? because if something happens to him ill go insane. amber: like when your other cat died? HT: -twitchtwitchtwitch-

Itachi: Well that bit helps a lot girls, thanks. Kiba: let’s get to work making a vacuum… Itachi: Why don’t you leave it to the smart ones kid? Kiba: hey, screw you. Haku: of course I will! Nothing will happen to him! Zabuza: Except he might get punted once or twice. Haku: -horrorShikamaru: -adjust kimono in frustration and writes a long whiney letter to Choji, to which he replies; YOU’RE IN A KIMONO?! HAWT!! After a pasue Shika writes “I hate you”-takes out elephant tranquilizer- crikey, today we're looking for the elusive creature called kankuro. -hands out flyers with kankuro's pic- it likes muffins, incest and playing with dolls and screams like a girl. , the kankuro is a dangerous creature and should be bluggered with a pan at sight. question for everybody (except sakura cause it's bloody obvious): if you can have a baby with someone who would it be and what would you name it?

Kankuro: -offended by the commentary suddenly bursts out, foaming at the mouth, eyes bulging, hands flexing like claws- GRAH! –lunges at KibaNeji: -waves wand without thinking- STUPEFY!! Deidara: AVADA KEDAVRA YEAH!!

Kankuro: -jumps out of the way of both and instead the hit Fluffy and make him explodeHaku: -twitch- …no…No….NOOOOO!! Zabuza: It was just a damn cat! Kankuro and lots of other run around the room with spells flying everywhere. Kurenai: Oh enough of this. –holds a frying pan out and Kankuro dashes face-first into it and gets knocked outKiba: That was… Kurenai: Easy? Straight-forward? The kind of thing you really shouldn’t have been to retarded not to think about? Yeah… Gaara: I fell kind of sorry for him…-lies him on bed carefullyKiba: Oh he’ll be fine in a bit…after we put his hand in some warm water. That usual helps revival. Naruto: -hands bowl of leftover ramen broth- Way ahead of you. (bows) Thank you for thinking I am insane! I can finally die in peace! oh one thing (throws a female ninetails into room)THAT IS ALL!

Orochimaru: Is anyone sane around here? If so I’d like to know who and where they are and hammer-fist some sense into them. Itachi: Or jack-hammer if you get my meaning. Orochimaru: Ya-yeah! –high fivesKyuubi: Oh my god…it’s her… Ninetails: Nine? Kyuubi: Must…seduce…OH DAMN YOU ALL!! Ninetails: Tails? Kyuubi: -is stuck in tree by dare but staring after her longingly- My…my one true love… Ninetails: Ninetails! Aslan: -saunters over- Ahem. I’m a God.

Ninetails: -blush- Ninetailsnine… Aslan: I can show you heaven, baby. Wanna take a walk with me through the clouds? Ninetails: Tails! Ninetails! -Aslan and Ninetails walk off to Narnia heavenKyuubi: -CrushedZakura: And to announce the housecup! Everyone: -pays attentionZakura: fourth place; Hufflepuff, with five points given out of pity and because Gaara’s sexy. Sakura: That’s bull…rude bullshit. Kimimaro: I don’t really care… Gaara: Wait, what’s going on? Zakura: In third, Ravenclaw, for being full of beautiful people. Ravenclaws: -apatheticZakura: In second; Slytherins. For being bad-ass and hot. Deidara: WOO! YEAH! Sasori: -rolls eyesZabuza: -snogging HakuZakura: And in first place—Kyuubi. Gryffindor: -cricket chirps- WHAT? Zakura: Oh, Kyuubi and honorarily Hinata. Kyuubi: I don’t care…life has no meaning…I fucking HATE lions…. Naruto: HEY! Why didn’t we place?!

Zakura: Oh come on, everyone knows Gryffindors are an annoying bunch of stuck-up heroes with angst problems. Fuck off. Lucifel: K, so, yeah. My (only one day) late chapter. I’m embarrassed about the Harry Potter thing, but I thought it would be a fun theme people could relate to. Plus, the last book made me like Harry Potter again…although Harry himself is still an angsty bitch. Also, if you’re digging the NaruKyuu, my new story Summer Wind (updating Fridays) is about that. So yeah… K bye!

Ask Sakura 36 Lucifel: So, my excuse THIS time, is that I…killed my computer. –breaks down- I DIDN’T MEAN TO!!!! I THOUGHT IT WAS THE RIGHT THING! I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE READ THE INSTRUCTIONS AND WARNINGS MORE CLEARLY!! I KNOW I SHOULDN’T HAVE DONE THE SYSTEM RESOMETHING!!! I’M SORRY!! And worst of all I lost my new fanfiction! I loved that fanfiction! I actually made a Harry Potter fic and wasn’t ashamed! I DON’T WANNA RE-WRITE IT!! Zakura: -bitch-slapsLucifel: At least I didn’t lose as much as my sister…hehe. Zakura: That’s the tormenting captive we know and hate. Lucifel: Aww. You make me blush. Zakura: That’s your cheek stinging. Lucifel: Fuck you. Orochimaru: WHERE DID ANKO GO?!

Zakura: We shagged, she left. She was a throw-in, she can do that. Ayame: so can I— Zakura: no. Orochi: you are the only one that i think that can answer this one so. (clears throat) would have sex with a clone of yourself be considered Gay sex, Masterbation, or just regular sex? Haku: um...here (hands a replica of the cat that got blown up) so you don't get in trouble. Everyone else: well last time i asked for this Sakura said it was only a request so, I DARE you to have another tickle orgy HA take the you pink haired bimbo! (evil laughter) MiniDeath

Orochimaru: Oh…hmm…I…no…wait…maybe it’s…I need to think about this. –sits and thinksKyuubi: -plots the death of AslanHaku: -twitch- this doesn’t clean the gore off my kimono… Zabuza: Let’s just take that kimono off… Sakura: I…uh… Jiraiya: YOU HEARD THE WOMAN! I got dibs on Kurenai! Kurenai: -blocks with skilletDeidara: TICKLE ORGY??!? YEEEE!! –jumps at SasoriSasori: I don’t… Deidara: -ticklesSasori: I’m not— Deidara: -ticklesssssSasori: Deidaraaa— Deidara: -TICKLESSasori: I’M NOT TICKLISH!! Everyone: -screeches to a haltDeidara: -cries a little-

Sasori: W—what? What’s wrong with everyone? Itachi: That’s…that’s unacceptable. Neji: How do you survive not being ticklish?! Sasori: A lot less laughter… Itachi: So THAT’S what’s wrong with you? Sasori: It’s actually what I find most right. Deidara: -cries a lot moreItachi: We’re gonna fix this…hold off the tickle orgy until we do. Sasori MUST be a part of it!! Jiraiya: Who the fuck says?! Zakura: I agree. Everyone has to be in. Jiraiya: I hate you. Kurenai: Maybe I can find a place to hide before then… A.H.S: -Shrugs- Anyhow...Thank you Sasori for watching Daimos. -Coughes, handing Shino a dime bag- That's some good stuff man...Have you ever used your bugs to spy on Kiba in the shower?! -Stars in her eyes- OMG!! ITS ANKO!! Your my favorite Jounin! Teach me the ways of your badassness!! And why do you always lick your kunai? Oh yeah...Sorry Oro-kun but Manda decided to stay in Mexico abit longer...He's gained a few pounds...x.x...Dei-chan!! Can you ever forgive me?! -Hands a Mocha Moolate.These are basically frozen fraps with ice cream in it...Very nummy!! Sasori: You’re welcome…never again. Itachi: He didn’t seem that bad…I thought you liked him ok. Sasori: It’s still babysitting. Stop poking me, I’m not ticklish. Itachi: I need feathers… Sasori: -glareOrochimaru: Well, since anko left I’ll just tell you it’s because she emulates me. Kurenai: I don’t doubt it…

Orochimaru: Manda’s still in mexico?! Kiba: -checks card- No…he’s back…but he does look fatter… Orochimaru: You just insulted my Manda’s weight…One more reason he’ll eat you when he gets out… Kiba: …yeesh… Deidara: No, yeah! I will never forgive you, yeah! Take this Gaara yeah…-hands to GaaraGaara: Oh um…ok? Is the guy knocked out on the bed ok? Kimimaro: He’ll be fine…from what I understand you used to do it all the time… Gaara: I did? –covers mouth- oh my god, I feel so bad. Lee: Gaara! You’re so sensitive now! Gaara: thank you? Lee: You’re welcome! Kyuubi: *Laughing openly at him* Bwhahaha! Because I threw in Aslan, you didn't get to seduce Ninetails! That's great...Anyhow, I've got a dare for you. I dare you to give me all your power for one chapter. Gaara: *Give him a lot of fraps...with a sleeping potion in them* Here, a present. They have an antieveryone but you shield. Zabuza: Your turn for torture. I dare you to not to start a make-out session with Haku. Only Haku can do that. And I'm giving Haku nail polish of all kinds, after removing his current nail polish. *Evil cackle* P.S.*Tosses in Darth Maul and Obi Wan, from Episode One of Star Wars, with their lightsabers*

Kyuubi: No. Zakura: Kyuubi you have to… Kyuubi: No. Sakura: It is a dare Kyuubi… Kyuubi: No. Lucifel: Don’t make ME— Kyuubi: I. Said. NO!!!!!!!!! ZakSakLuc: ACK! OK!

Kyuubi: -sits fuming in the tree- …fucking asslan… Kiba: -snrrrrk- asslan… Orochimaru: Dude, Kyuubi, you just dominated the dominatrixes. Kyuubi: I don’t care! There are only two people I wanna dominate: Ninetails, sexually, and Aslan, by beating him until he is bleeding his organs out of every orifice! Kiba: That was…that was graphic…that was a graphic thing to say… Kyuubi: I’ll graphic your ass. Kiba: Please don’t… Gaara: Why are you giving me a sleeping potion?! That’s sick! Lee: Oh, no, see, before this you were a demonic, insomniac maniac who was in desperate need of sleep so he thinks he’s helping you. Gaara: -horrified- I’m…I’m a demonic maniac…? Lee: Well, you were…actually…no, I think it’s still inside you… Gaara: -clutches stomach- oh my god…-goes and sits in depressionNaruto: Well you fucked that up, Lee. Lee: I thought he wanted to know who he was! Naruto: -glareZabuza: I…what…NO!! Haku: -GASP- Must paint nails! Zabuza: I—no! Haku: Yesssss!! Zabuza: This is so much worse than being dead. Obi Wan: Darth! No! I saw my master kill you!

Darth Maul: -checks stomach, is solid, shrugsObi Wan: Fine…I’ll finish what he started…-pulls out lightsaberKiba: -snrrrrkDarth Maul: -puts on both ends of his lightsabersKiba: -SNRRRKObi: Now we’ll— Ayame: OMG SEXY!! –glomps Obi wanOrochimaru: -goes up to Darth Maul- wanna work for me? Darth: I already have a master… Orochimaru: Naw, you’re dead and stuck in a fucked up anime fanfiction, you can do whatever you want!! Darth: Whatever I want, you say? Orochimaru: -nodsDarth: -tosses aside his light-saber, saunters dramatically over to Obi Wan and dips him old-movie style and kisses him ionatelyItachi: WOOT! YEAH MAUL!! Obi Wan: -stands up again, looking stunned and dizzy, stares at Darth Maul and starts to cry a little- Maul, you…I never thought…this is the happiest day of my life! –Jumps on Darth Maul and they tumble to the floor and begin making outEveryone: -stunnedOrochimaru: I meant uranium bomb sorry typo Gaara: I don't see whats so bad about not sleeping, I haven't slept in 9 days, last time I did that I ed out on my front lawn and it started raining right after and I didn't wake up and wound up catching some pneumonia or something like that

Orochimaru: Oh…huh…-smokes starts issuing from his ears and he begins glowing greenish yellow- Good thing I had my brain and left lung flipped around so I guess now I’ll just have to do with one lung…ho well. HEY! I’m glowing! –tries to run over to JiraiyaJiraiya: NO! stay away! You’re radio-active!

Orochimaru: Sweet! I wanna try biting someone and turn them into spider man! Darth Maul: -taking a break from snogging Obi- You know what else I’ve always wanted to do? Obi Wan: What is it darling? Darth Maul: get SMASHED!! –pulls out a case of beerObi Wan: Oh I…I don’t know…I am a Jedi… Maul: I will share with you something very deep that strange glowing man told me—we can do ANYTHING here. Obi Wan: you playin with me Maul? Maul: Hells no, man. Haven’t you ever wanted to take a break? ObiWan: -cracks a grin- Well what are you waiting for?! Hand me one of them bad boys! -they commence the getting drunkGaara: All I wanna do now is sleep…but I can’t…for some reason I can’t…-curls up and lies downKimimaro: -sits beside him and pats his shoulderOrochimaru: I’m the color of Mountain dew!! Kabuto: You are doing to Sakura what you accuse her of doing to Lee. Are you confused? Frustrated over your relationship with Oro? Do you actual like Sakura on some level? Or do you just have a stick up your ass? Orochimaru: -looks down Kabuto’s pants- YUP! I see the stick! Kabuto: Orochimaru-sama, you’re embarrassing me and yourself. Orochimaru: I stopped getting embarrassed a LONG time ago. I take over bodies and attack things with my tongue, for god’s sake. Maul: You DO? Wicked… Obi wan: Hee, you’re wicked. Maul: Heehee.

Kabuto: Anyway, I am NOT doing any such thing to Sakura. I have no idea what you’re talking about…you’re a bitch. –folds arms and sulksKimimaro: -smiles and rolls his eyesumm, haku-chan zabuza you do realize i said IF you had akid. you could always adopt, cuz there's always some stupid 16 year old that gets pregnant and can't take care of the baby. i think haku-chan would be a great mother/parent^__^ kyuubi: have you ever met youko kurama or shippo. are they related to you??(they're foxes) (sends anko a kurenai plushie) to everyone: if you want new gifts just say what you want, there are plenty of fangirls reading this waiting for your beck and call. Haku: -GASP- WE SHOULD ADOPT!! Zabuza: Uh, umm…ah…did you notice how well these two colors of nailpolish look together? –thrusts nailpolish at HakuHaku: oooh…-starts re-thinking nail-colorsZabuza: Phew… Kyuubi: Someone’s doesn’t read the story very well. YES I’ve met Yoko. Zakura: you think people actually pay attention? Pssh, yeah right. Sakura: So we’re in here for NOTHING?! Zakura: Practically. I mean, with all the repeated questions and dares and gifts we get you’d think as much wouldn’t you? Sakura: Well dammit… Kyuubi: Anyway, I have no idea who Shippo is. Which must mean he is WORTHLESS. Maul: You have tails. –staresKyuubi: -sighs and kicks Maul awayJiraiya: I CALL DIBS ON THE PRESENTS SENT TO ANKO!! –grabs plushie and shoves in secret pocket inside his…um…shirt… Kurenai: Why? What did they send you?! Jiraiya: nothing…nothing…

Kurenai: -suspicious glaringJiraiya: Who taught you to summon toads? I at least two before you on the contract. Kyuubi: I've been too nice to you lately, so... (gives Naruto a kimono with demon-repelling wards) that's for being all whiney about Aslan taking your girl! (Throws a giant floating eyeball into the room) I dare whoever thinks they're the bravest in the room to poke this eye

Jiraiya: Oh, this one will shock you. Everyone: -leans inJiraiya: The one who taught me how to summon… Everyone: -holds breathJiraiya: Was… Everyone: -widens eyesJiraiya: MY SENSEI!! BUWAHAHAHA! BITCHES!! Zakura: -bitchslapsKyuubi: -looks at Naruto stumbling around in Kimono- I don’t even like my boys in dresses…at least not when they can’t wear them well. Naruto: ACK! –trips over skirtEveryone: -looks at eyeball- EWW. Lee: I am the bravest and most youthful! I will do it! –pokes eyeball-stillnessSakura: So it does…nothing? Lucifel: Well, I couldn’t think of anything. Lee: -shrugs and starts to walk away.Eyeball: -eats LeeLucifel: I lied! Everyone: -twitchGaara: -horrified-

Eyeball: burp. Sakura: -screams and faintsKabuto: Wow…that eyeball just incapacitated two of the most annoying people here… can we get some more of these? Zakura: Hey jackass, why don’t you go get Lee then? Kabuto: What ME?! Zakura: Yeah, you asshole. Kabuto: WHY?! He’ll come back eventually… Zakura: Just go. –glaresKabuto: Fine, but so help me if this is another D&D campaign…-jabs eyeball and it eats himZakura: Sweet, when Sakura wakes up she’ll doubly horrified. Kurenai: You are a horrible person. (jumps off cliff and becomes a ninetails) WTF? I wanted to die damnit! Well, I guess i'll have to stay for the rest of the chapter till it wears off. I wonder if this makes me immortal? or dead? And yes I'm a she.

Zakura: First of all—no. No one comes in this room except to receive hugs and give kisses. During which times they can do NOTHING. Kyuubi: Second of all, how dare you be so presumptuous as to think any old Ninetails will do?! I have one, very specific in mind, and it certainly isn’t some FAKE ninetails who just happened to jump off the cliff of turning-into pokemonKiba: Dude…I SO wanna find that place. Shino: …why oh Why do I put up with you? Itachi: Cause he’s the only one who will go out with you. Everyone else thinks you’re WEIRD. –attacks Sasori’s feet with feathers1. Gaara: I just saw your fight with Kimimaro in Ep. 126 and I have to say, that was the coolest fight I've ever seen. On a related note, your Ryuusa Bakuryu(Desert Avalanche) use up more chakra than your ultimate defense? 2. Shikamaru: Is there an ultimate or evolved form of the Kagemane no Jutsu(Shadow Copy/Possesion Skill)? Perhaps one that doesn’t have a time limit? 3. Sakura: I guess Shikamaru was right when he called you a "ninja with no particular talent". Do you have any skills besides your meager medical skills?

Gaara: Really? I wouldn’t know…wait, why did I fight Kimi? He’s my friend…

Kimimaro: I wasn’t always. Gaara: -looks ready for another breakdown.Kimimaro: But now we’re cool! Completely! Best pals, even! Gaara: -smiles weakly and leans against Kimi’s shoulder- Oh, and I don’t know. I don’t’ whatever it is you’re talking about. –snifflesShikamaru: Not really, the time limit just gets longer the more advanced you get. My father can last for more than twice as long as me. Kiba: -snickerShikamaru: Pervert. Sakura: -waking up upon being insulted- Ok, just because I don’t have any specialty or blood-line jutsu doesn’t mean I’m not a good ninja! Kiba: LIES! Sakura: I’m just a ninja who sticks to and masters the basics! I kick ass! Kiba: LIES! Sakura: -drop-kicks- Hey, where’s Kabuto? Meanwhile: Kabuto: Where the hell are we? Lee: I dunno. It’s very crowded though…and there’s lotsa food and some drinks… Kabuto: -shuffles through stacks and stacks of paper scraps and plushies and effigies of people- I think we’re where all the discarded bits of reviews go… Lee: -through a mouthful of old food- Seriously? Kabuto: Yeah…how are we supposed to get out of here? Lee: I’m sure my youthful energy will get us out in no time! Kabuto: You work with that. Zakura: Ok, ATTENTION EVERYONE!

Everyone: -attentionsSakura: I SAID, Where’s Kabuto? Zakura: In the eye, now— Sakura: -WhimperZakura: now, we have a new fan, named He-Yan. Itachi: And? Zakura: and well…she read the whole thing this week…and left like twenty reviews. Itachi: W-what? Orochimaru: YAY! Kiba: so? We’ll have to answer a shit-ton of reviews either way… Naruto: I don’t wanna answer twenty questions from the same person! What if they don’t like ramen?! I can’t go that long without ramen!! Hinata: I’m sure we’ve got some left over…yeah, here’s some. Naruto: You’re a life-saver Hinata! I love you! –hugsHinata: -faintsZakura: -running over and waving smelling-salts under Hinata’s nose- I’m deleteing a lot, but we’re still giving lenience…because she’s funny. That’s right, I’m showing blatant favoritism. Sue me. Deidara: Can we really, yeah? Zakura: Of course not. AND NOW! THE REVIEWS OF HE-YAN!! ANSWERED ONE AT A TIME!!

Konichiwa mina-san! Sakura-chan, I have a 'special' question for you *grins evilly* WHY THE HELL ARE YOU MOPING OVER Uke-chan(Sasuke) WHEN YOU ARE STUCK IN A ROOM FULL WITH INCREDIBLY HOT AND POWERFUL MEN THAT WOULD CAUSE ANY FANGIRL TO DIE FROM DEHYDRATION(read drooling too much) ? Zakura: Ah, the requisite, wtf is wrong with Sakura question. –smile- Moving on.

Sakura: -glowers- I don’t like this girl. Zakura: I do. You’re being a bad host. –smacksI would also like to extend comfort hugs to anyone who feels they need them.

Jiraiya: HUG FROM YOUNG GIRL YES!! Kurenai: -raises skilletJiraiya: I mean…comfort me? Gaara: I could use a hug… Kimimaro: -hugsKankuro: -in his sleep, hugsGaara: -blushesone present for Kabuto if he has a make out session with Sakura-chan... and not in the dam pool room this time... why deny your room mates the viewing privilliges? *hold box containing smexi elton jhon glasses*

Zakura: Aww since Kabu ain’t here, he’ll just have to not get the glasses, rejected! Kabuto: -glasses collide with his head- OWW! WTF?! Lee: What are these? Kabuto: OMFG!! –snatches- This is…this is…I…wow…-sits and stares at them in awe.Second Maru-kun ^_^ As hot as you were/cute as you are I want to know if you would ever have your tounge pierce?? or if you could have anywhere pierced where would it be?? Shikamaru: I…um… Kiba: -holds mouth open- DUDE! It IS pierced! Shikamaru: Get away from me! Kiba: when did you get that pierced?! Shikamaru: Right, because you need to know about every moment of my life. Choji got something pierced too…-secret smile-

1)If you're in a room with no doors or windows... how the hell are you getting oxygen? plus please don't die Sakura: I guess their must be cracks…somewhere… Neji: All I now is, I am still breathing, and panting, and if we keep discussing this that my stop. Kiba: You? Stop being a slut? Nevar. Neji: -smacks2)People have said they got in via the pool drain... so why hasn't anyone tried to get out that way?? Naruto: -runs to the pool and dives at the drain…FACEPLANTS- Oww…that is a surprisingly small drain… Sakura: you idiot…and now you’re on the bottom of a putrid pool. Naruto: -climbing out.- why is that pool so gross now?! Sakura: Kind of been sitting there with random crap lying in it for ages, with no real filtration system…right…wonder why. Naruto: Ewww…hey wait don’t— Sakura: -slams door and locks him inNaruto: Aww. Sakura: When you don’t stink any more we’ll let you out. Also a challenge for Itachi *grins evilly* This is a bottle of chocolate sauce Spread it over your six pac and see how many people you cna get to lick it off ^_^

Itachi: RIGHT ON! –leaves Sasori alone a moment, rips open his shirt and covers himself in chocolate.- LICK ME!!! Neji/Dei/Oro/Maul/Obi: -pounce and lick in earnestItachi: Alright, alright, teehee, Sasori? Sasori: no. Itachi: You know you wanna. –pulls face to stomach-

Sasori: -bitesItachi: you don’t need to be so eager! –turns to Kurenai- And you, I know you want some of this. Kurenai: -bitch-slapsItachi: Come on! It’s chocolate! Rich, creamy, chocolate. Kurenai: -whimper- …I…I don’t…GAH! –flings at his stomach and licks furiouslyItachi: -lounges and lets multiple people lick his stomach- I feel sexy. Maru-dono. PLEASE reassure me that you are not one of those furries?? *looks worried*

Orochimaru: But…of course I am. Everyone: O.o Haku I have a present for you *gives giant box* I went shopping and got lots of wuvly fabric for you to make your own kimono's plus you already have needles and there is thread in there... somewhere Haku: YAY! I’m getting so many presents! So exicting! Zabuza: You are all making my life miserable and you will PAY!! –his eyes burnNeji I know you keep going on about how sluttish you are but really is there anyone you wouldn't do?? Neji: Kiba. Kiba: Don’t think about it or anything…-sulksShino: Why are you upset about this? Kiba: It’s offensive! I’m plenty sexy! Shino: humph. 1)Itachi would you make out or go further with Hinata even if you are gay? Itachi: Ok, here’s the situation. Hinata is ADORABLE, but in the kitty way, and I, unlike Oro, am not a furry. Orochimaru: you’re missing out.

Jiraiya: Word. Orochimaru: hee, -jumps into Jiraiya’s lapJiraiya: -cuddles2)Kimimaro is your hair naturally like that? or are you just so hot you can get away with dying it? Kimimaro: It’s naturally this color, but the style is my hotness all the way. Gaara: -gigglesOrochimaru: Since when did you have an ego? Kimimaro: Since I was talking about my hair. I’ve always been proud of my hair. 3)Where Kakashi?? Where is my droolworth Kakashi-kun? Seriously when your trying to collect hot peoples in one room and you miss Kakashi thats deranged... Orochimaru: If this was about who’s hot I can think of several people that would not be here. –stares at Naruto and KibaKiba: Hey! I am ruggedly sexy! Naruto: You are? Kiba: -sticks out tongueKurenai: And mature too. Kiba: your mom was really mature last night. Kurenai: Which would mean even a dead person turned you down. Shino: Want some ice for that burn? Challenge! Everytime you get a dare you have to it on to the person you know will want to murder people for making them do it... Everyone: -evil grinningalso I want a vote from you all Who's smexier, Maru-dono or Itachi-kun? Zakura: Show of hands, who’s for Itachi? Itachi: Bear in mind—I’m still covered in chocolate.

Dei/Kur/Nej/Shik/Gaa/Kyuu/Hina/Haku/Zabu: -raise handsZakura: Oro? Sas/Saku/Naru/Jira/Kimi/Kiba/Shin/and anyone I forgot: -raise handsZakura: Wow…A lot of guys I did not expect in that one. NARUTO?! Naruto: Itachi’s a freak. And Oro may have stolen Sasuke, but Itachi’s the one that made him leave. Kiba: What are you in love with Sasuke? Shika: -glaresNaruto: No. He’s my best friend… Kyuubi: Sure he is, Kit. Sure he is. Ayame: I think they’re both equally sexy! Zakura: You would feel that way. Kyu-chan what are the names of the other tailed demons and is it just coincidence you have different numbers of tails or are you related?? Kyuubi: We’re actually the nine banished princes of the demon realm, our power is represented in the number of our tails. Naruto: You’re…you’re a prince? Kyuubi: Yeah, my daddy’s the king of demon-realm and your daddy’s dead. Naruto: -whimperAnko! Though I'm sure you will already have one from someother kind reviwer here is a LIMITED EDITION Kurenai Plushie... with interchangible outfits eg. normal, date, pjs, bikni, dominatric, playboy bunny and many more Jiraiya: YES! –grabsKurenai: Give me that! Jiraiya: NEVAR! Kurenai Plushie: -hits Jira with skillet-

Kurenai: Wow…I love me, -takes plushie and hugsSince it's fun for everyone else I also want copies of Chouji and Shikamaru's love letter strewn allover the place Shikamaru: ACK! NO! –tries to grab all the copies but Kiba gets to oneKiba: We-he-hell, let’s see what we have here…wtf? It’s just a bunch of letters asking how things are back home and whining about what a slut Sasuke is. Naruto: Why do you care if Sasuke’s a slut, Shika? Shikamaru: Because it’s obscene. Kiba: Then why don’t you complain about Neji? Shikamaru: I…do? Kiba: -flipping through- Nope, nowhere in here. Shikamaru: Well it does bother me. But Sasuke especially because everyone seems to idolize him so much. Itachi: We don’t idolize him, we just lust after him. Shikamaru: Oh what the fuck ever. Kiba: Damn…this gets pretty fiery in here…that’s some harsh insults…and Choji is so cheesy! He must really have the hots for you. Shikamaru: I’m just in a bad mood because of this place ok? Nothing more… Orochimaru: SUS-PI-CIOUS!! Is Sassy ticklish yet? Itachi: No not yet…I’m still trying… ITACHI! I adore your catchphrase... think about it if you hadn't killed your family there would be so much more incest! Ja Ne Silent x

Itachi: Right on. And yeah, Uchiha-cest is the best cest. Sakura: -face-palmsZakura: Well, that’s it from He-Yan…for now.

Everyone: WOOT! HT: -starts killing things with ambers scytheamber: O.O crap... HT: IM GOING TO KILL YOU ALL! but first i need to know your favorite way to die! ^^ amber: youre retarded... HT: also, sakura, do you want a sasuke plushie?

Itachi: Death by orgasm—the perfect death. Orochimaru: Ooooh, yeah, I’d like to be a part of that. Itachi: Sweet, we can kill each other. Orochimaru: Right on. Jiraiya: Suffocation in size H boobs… Sakura: So long as it’s not while I’m in this room I’m pretty well off… Naruto: drowning in ramen! Shikamaru: Quietly, when I’m an old man and tired of living. Kiba: I’ll NEVER be tired of life. Shikamaru: Good luck with that. Kiba: At any rate I want to spontaneously combust. Shino: -eyeing Kiba warily- I’m with Shikamaru on this one. Kurenai: So long as it’s before I’m too old to move freely, I’m ok. Gaara: Right now I just want to get my memory back before I die…I guess something quick and painless… Kimimaro: I thought my death was pretty cool…I’d do it again. Haku: I was totally happy dying for Zabuza-san. Zabuza: I’m never gonna die again now. Haku: teehee, well, so long as I’m with you. Zabuza: Yeah. –leans in for kiss but Haku is distracted by touching-up his nailsKyuubi: Demons don’t die.

Sakura: But theoretically— Kyuubi: No. Sakura: -sighHinata: I agree with Shino and Shikamaru, silent and when I’m old… Neji: When I’m young, I hope to die really dramatically, and in a fashion that gets at least a whole episode devoted to me. Kurenai: Why do you want to die young? Neji: It’s cooler that way. Deidara: Artistically. With a bang. Yeah Sasori: -rolls eyes and laughs at his foolishnessItachi: He laughed! He laughed! TICKLE ORGY!! Any other answers are discarded as everyone starts tickling each other mercilessly. The Akatsuki are mostly on each other, jiraiya’s all over Oro, Kurenai is sneakily focusing on Itachi’s still-chocolately body, Sakura and Hinata are being all girly and cute and making Z jealous. Zabuza is letting no one tickle Haku, but Naruto keeps sneaking. Kimi and Gaara are rolling on the bed. Neji, of course, is getting around to everyone. It’s generally cacophony. Kyuubi pounces on Naruto, who got rid of the Kimono ages ago, distracted momentarily from thoughts of Ninetails. Orochimaru: How long can you stretch that tongue of yours? I'm curious. Kiba: Is it possible to learn to speak... dog? Or is it just some Kekkei Genkai? Deidara: How did you get those mouths on your hands? Or is it also Kekkei Genkai? Or whatever it was.. blah

Kiba: It’s kind of something you have to be raised with…shino, come tickle me! Shino: -is busy with HinataKiba: -pouts until he is tickle-tackled by AyameZakura: Read the damn story people! We’ve gone over Oro’s tongue at least twice and Dei’s hands once or twice before. GEZUS H. CHRIST!! Jesus: Yes? Sorry, just stopped by cause I saw the tickling going on and well…you know…I haven’t had earthly pleasure in so long… Darth Maul: DUDE! IT’S JESUS!!

Obi Wan: NO WAI!!! COME DRINK WITH US MAN! Turn some water into wine… Jesus: I can do beer too. ObiDarth: RIGHT ON!!! Jesus: And I know this orkcin place in Galilee where we could start a party… Obi Wan: What are we waiting for?! Let’s go! -Off those three trot to GalileeSakura: *gives box of fraps* You can do wahtever ya wat with them, put fraps Are weapons. *wink* Remeber that! Kabuto: Hey are you dead, or something? Sakura: SWEET! FRAPS!! -everyone breaks for fraps, tickling each other occasionally as they sip. Sasori pretends to be ticklish just to get it over with.Gaara: -gulps down dozens and hundreds of frapsKabuto: No, I’m not dead. I have Elton John sunglasses… Lee: What’s so great about them anyway? Kabuto: -glares- I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that. –jumps Lee and starts tickling him,Lee: -tickles backKabuto: I’ll have you know I have no control over my actions ri-heehehe-now… Lee: Meheehee, nieheether! -they fall into uncontrollable laughterwhat ever happend to that black bottle I gave Kyuu? Haku, Dei-chan and Anko I give you these weird necklaces, dnt know what they do but its gd... Naruto... why is it that even with Kyuubi you are weak in the shippuden... even the skanky bitch Sakura is stronger then you... June

Kyuubi: I have no fucking clue. I think I still have it somewhere. Or we might have thrown it out. I don’t give a shit.

Kabuto: -knocks into a shelf and a black bottle falls into his mouth and he suddenly stops tickling Lee- Woah…I think that just made me exempt from reviews… HELLZYEAH!! Lee: No fair… Dei/Jira/Haku: -still in the orgy, put on necklacesDeidara: Feel anything, yeah? Haku/Jira: -shake headsZakura: Hey, if the reviewers don’t know, we don’t know. Probably don’t do anything. They’re just weird necklaces. Sakura: that didn’t work wiuth the eye! Zakura: but that’s a fucking floating EYEBALL there has tp be something weird with that! Sakura: Ok…I see your point. Haku: Kinda pretty though-heehehe. Naruto: I’m not weak! Jiraiya: s’true. He’s a main character and therefore had to go through the act of struggling to get stronger in order to be ‘relatable’ or some shit. –tackles OrochimaruOrochimaru: -hugs and ticklesThe tickle orgy fades and then there’s a moment of silence before: Sasori: HAHAHAHAAHHHEEEEHEEEEHEEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOAHAHAHAHAHA HKUKKUUKKUKFUFUFFUGUWWAWAWAWAWFUHAFUHAHICHICHAHAHA HHAHAHAHA… Deidara: WTF yeah? Itachi: Oh I get it…he’s not, NOT ticklish…he’s just on delayed reaction…well damn this’ll take a while… Sasori: -gives fingerHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHOHOHOHOHOHOKAKAKAKAKAK KUKUKUKKFUFUFUFUFFUHLUKHLUKHLUKBUWAHAHAHAHAHFUWAHAH

AMUWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHHEEHEE HEEHEEEHEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHKLAKLAKLAKLAKALGLARBGLARBG LARBAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH— Lucifel: Good news, computer’s looking ok now (24 hours after starting writing this), so check out my Lady Jibril profile late for my HP fics! Bad news; I got’s a math test tomorrow…pray for me…To every god you can think of. I don’t care if Poseidon is god of the sea pray to that mothafucka, I need all the help I can get. And that ing-the-dare thing still stands. >:) Thanks again for reading! And He-Yan…don’t ever do something like that again. -.Sasori: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHFUFUFUFUUFFUFUUFUFUFBLUBLUBLU BLUGLAHAHAHEHEHHEEHHEHEHEHEEHEHEHHEHHOHOHOHOHOHHAHAH AHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAfaints-

Ask Sakura 37 Lucifel: Hello! What’s this? Is this me writing on a day not completely late in the week? I think it is…GASP. Anywho, did ok on my math test, not that anyone cares…oh! And I’ve got those HP fics up. :) And I’m going to b devoting my self to Loyalty Eternal (Ironic, yes?...no…) so please read that story! Seriously…no one ever does…is depressing. You’re going to make Haku cry. Haku: You’re still writing that story? Really? Lucifel: You’re um…pissing Zabuza off? Zabuza: She was writing a story ? Bitch. Don’t read it. I bet it sucks. Lucifel: -grumbles- SO, let’s move on. When we last left our victims— Sasori: AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA Lucifel: Yes. That.

Deidara: This is boring now, yeah. How do we make him stop. Kurenai: -starts taking out skillet excitedlyOrochimaru: No, no, that only works on Kankuro cause he wont kill us when he wakes up. Kurenai: Damn. –hits JiraiyaJiraiya: What the hell? Kurenai: -innocent eyes- Well I already had it OUT! Sasori: HAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEKHEKehehehehahahoh…hehehe…heheh…ha. Itachi: You done? Sasori: Yes. Itachi: Great, time to make fun of mercilessly— Sasori: Try it. –growlsDeidara: Oh I’ll try something yeah… *gives Itachi and Gaara more fraps* *gives Kurenai a new, spiked, cast-iron frying pan* BTW, Kyuubi, if there's one thing about being sealed in Naruto that you like, what is it?

Itachi: nice! –gulps down frapGaara: -sips quietly while staring at the eyeball, missing LeeKurenai: Where was this a second ago…well, better break it in… Jiraiya: NO! –ducksKurenai: -hits KyuubiKyuubi: -twitchKurenai: O.o Kyuubi: -twitch and turns to look at herKurenai: O.o –takes a step back-

Kyuubi: -glares- If that had actually hurt I’d be far more pissed off. You watch yourself, bitch. Kurenai: -gulps and goes to sit with HinataKyuubi: If there was any one thing it was not being in with my father. That was quite the relief. Kiba: Are you in with him now? Kyuubi: No. Kiba: Oh…no fun. I'm so glad you all hate/love me ^_^ Would it be possible for me to give everyone access to clean hot showers for a bit?? (I can't promise their clothes will still be there after...) Plus Jira-san I will always give you hugs ^_^ but it's not my fault if Kurenai gets you XP What would your english names be? If you could choose?? Ja Ne Silent

Everyone: -looks at Zakura with big puppy eyesItachi: PLEASE let us shower…Kiba smells. Kiba: HEY! Zakura: Oh, sure. But you heard the lady, you might end up naked after wards… Everyone: SO?! Zakura: K. The closet is now a shower-room knock yourselves out. Everyone besides Hinata and Zakura: -STAMPEDES!!!Zakura: Why didn’t you go Hinata? Hinata: I’m ah—well…I don’t want to lose my clothes…but I really do need a shower. Zakura: -blushing- Well, y’know, I could like…keep special care of your clothes…if you want. Hinata: Would you? Thanks so much! Zakura: S-sure…

Hinata and Zakura go into shower room. The shower room is a long white-and0blue tile hallway lined on one side with shower stalls (equipped with curtains) and on the other by plain old shower heads. Kurenai: What the hell?! Is this shower co-ed? Itachi: -already naked- YOU BET IT IS!! –shakes hipsKurenai: ACK! –hides behind shower curtainDeidara: teehee. Did you get bigger Itachi? Itachi: Probably, I’ve been working it out… Sasori: -goes into stallOrochimaru: Sakura! Get your ugly ass into one of those stalls! Sakura: I’m GOING! Sheesh! Jerks… Hinata: I…uh…I… Zakura: I’ll stand guard for you. Go ahead into one of the stalls. Hinata: You’re the best, Zakura. –hugsZakura: Hrmeh. –catches clothes as Hinata tosses them around the curtainJiraiya: -getting naked- wanna hug me now? Orochimaru: I DO! –glomps into a stall and swings the curtain shutEveryone: O.O Itachi: WOOT! Get your man Oro!! -most of the guys just camber around the open heads. The girls and some guys actually worried about getting clean are in stallsKiba: My name would be Rodriguez!! Shino: -across from him in a stall- That’s a Spanish name, and why the hell that? Kiba: Cuz it’s awesome! Have you heard it?! Rodrrrriguez. Shino: -rolls eyes-

Naruto: Man! I want an awesome name like Rodriguez! Itachi: You can be Billy. Naruto: Why Billy? Itachi: Cause that’s what all the ugly, dumb, fat kids are called. Sakura: What if one of our fans is named Billy?! That’s cruel! Itachi: FINE! The ugly dumb kids. You are not necessarily fat. Sakura: ITACHI! Itachi: Why do you care?! The fans are meanest to YOU! Sakura: Oh…yeah…anyway, my English name would be Rose. Deidara: Like that Dr. Who whore? Yeah, kind of suits you yeah… Sakura: NO! Like the flower! GRAH! –conditions hairGaara: -is in a stall- I kind of like the name Jared… Kimimaro: JARED?! Gaara; Maybe that’s just now…but it sound cool. Kimimaro: You’re weird. I’d want a name like…I dunno…Damien or something coolsounding like that. Gaara: Damien doesn’t sound cool. Kimimaro: Yes It DOES! What do you know Jared? Gaara: That Damien is a gay name. Kimimaro: Screw you. Itachi: Now is the perfect opportunity for that! Kimimaro: Agk. Starts shaving…his legsOrochimaru: -dashing out of cell- WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! You shave your legs Kimi?!

Kimimaro: Well…yes… Orochimaru: That’s awesome! So do I! Were you emulating me that much?! Kimimaro: Well yes…that and I figured it would attract Kabuto. Now it’s just habit. Gaara: You liked that guy with the glasses? Kimimaro: -nodsGaara: You’re definitely the weird one. Kimimaro: You liked LEE!! Gaara: Well, Lee’s hot! Kimimaro: Wait, you STILL like Lee? Gaara: Who wouldn’t?! Everyone: -raises handsKimimaro: That’s more than a little embarrassing… Gaara: -closes shower curtainOrochimaru: So long as I’m out I would like to say I would be named Salazar. Because that’s a fucking awesome name. Deidara: I would be Guinevere, yeah! Sasori: -staresDeidara: It’s a pretty name…yeah…you could be Lancelot! Sasori: …sure… Kiba: What would you be Shino? Shino: I like my name the way it is. Kiba: You couldn’t have any name…ell, you could, but it would have to have like, agent in front of it. Shino: -raises eyebrows- would it now?

Kiba: Oh hell yeah. –goes into his stall to hug him- because you’re sexy like that. Shino: -blushing- get lost, you still smell and I’m trying to get clean. Kiba: -smiling goes back to the open showers and turns to Naruto- And that’s how you keep ‘em happy. Shino: I heard that asshole! Itachi: This all ridiculous, everyone knows there’s only one male name in the English language: John. Deidara: John, yeah? Itachi: Yeah, John. Or some variation of that. Deidara: Wow…those poor people. Sakura: Did I read right?! You just voted Oro smexier than Itachi. And according to other chapters, you wanted to rape him... so does that mean you want to rape Oro too?! OoH! Can I throw Kakashi in? PLZ!! *throws him* Kakashi: Why don't you EVER let Sakura fight for herself on missions. Even in the Naruto MOVIES, you always intervene. No offence to either of you, but hows she supposed to get Better, if she never FIGHTS?!

Sakura: I never wanted to rape Itachi! Itachi: Yes you did you whore. Sakura: NO! I didn’t! –turns redItachi: Suuure…how could you think Oro was sexier than me?! A grown-up version of Sasuke! Orochimaru: Ladies really do love the tongue. Zakura: Unfortunately, we’ve already had Kakashi show up once, so he can’t come by again. Kakashi: Really? My bad. –Jumps down shower drainZakura: So, in answer to your question, it’s because Kakashi secretly wants to get in the pants of all of team seven. Sakura: How does that even answer the question?! Zakura: The truth is always the right answer. Sakura: But that doesn’t make SENSE!

Naruto: And it’s disturbing… Sakura: And it doesn’t make sense!! Zakura: Sakura, you’re standing with the shower curtain open. Sakura: Agk! –closes quicklyNaruto: -nosebleedItachi: Damn Sakura! Get a trim! Kiba: Whoa! Her hair really IS naturally pink! So did anyone miss me? Come on be honest. Kyuubi: Hey I recently found my GBA and I could give you a ninetails if you want one. (It's still in it's pokeball) I can't believe I ever played that game. Hinata: Are you ready to perform Bohemian Rhapsody yet? I'm not gonna dare you to perform it, but I'm gonna request that you and Kimi perform. Lucy-chan: so what did you think of HP7?

Lucifel: I did! Everyone else: Who are you? Sakura: You guys are awful! Not even ing who the fans are! Itachi: You don’t know either! Sakura: humph. –reaches for clothes…they are there- Huh, she didn’t steal my clothes. Orochimaru: Is cuz no one wants to see you naked. Sakura: Oh yeah! Just for that I’ll stay naked the whole chapter! –starts getting undressed againItachi Well, WE may not like it, but Naruto, and some of those fans…well… Sakura: Eeep. –stays clothedKyuubi: I don’t want any other Ninetails. Just MY Ninetails. –poutsNeji: since when do demons take showers? Kyuubi: Since it was a good excuse to get naked. Kiba: I’ll take the pokemon! –takes- yay. :) And I still technically have Itachi captured… that’s two already woot!

Shino: You’re lucky you were being charming a second ago you big dolt. Hinata: Oh…after the thing with Gaara Kimi and I haven’t really been practicing… Kimimaro: But you know the lyrics by heart! Hinata: Well that doesn’t mean… Kimimaro: And you have a wonderfully natural voice! WE SING NOW!! Hinata: But I’m naked! Kimimaro: -throws her a long bath-robe- Put this on. Hinata: -puts on- But YOU’RE all naked! Kimimaro: Close your eyes! This is so exciting! –bounces happily- I haven’t performed in ages! Kiba: WAIT! –runs into main room, comes back dragging a piano, a guitar and a drum set- These were left over from the wedding. I stashed them. Shine. Let’s go. Shino: -sigh not againStage pops up at the far end of the room, and everyone gathers around, clothes just barely with towels if at all. Kimi/Hina: Is this the real lifeIs this just fantasyCaught in a landslideNo escape from realityOpen your eyes Look up to the skies and seeKimi: I’m just a poor boy, I need no sympathyBoth: Because I’m easy come, easy go, A little high, little low, Hinata: Anyway the wind blows, Kimi: doesn’t really matter to me, Hinata: To me

Shino comes in all pretty on the piano Light turn down low and blue. Hinata now sits on the piano, in a long white evening gown, Kimi’s in a white suit standing facing her. Kimi: Mama, just killed a man, Put a gun against his head, Pulled my trigger, now hes dead, Hinata: Mama, life had just begun, But now I’ve gone and thrown it all awayBoth (Hina slides off Piano with Kimi’s help) : Mama ooo, Didnt mean to make you cryIf I’m not back again this time tomorrowHinata: Carry on carry on, as if nothing really matters(They stand next to each other now) Kimi: Too late, my time has come, Sends shivers down my spineBody’s aching all the time, Hinata: Goodbye everybody-I’ve got to goGotta leave you all behind and face the truthKimi: Mama ooo- Hinata:(any way the wind blows) Kimi: I dont want to die, Hinata: I sometimes wish Id never been born at allShino’s playing drums too… KIBA SOLO Costume change! Now they’re both in black suits. Kimi: I see a little silhouetto of a man, Hina: Scaramouche, scaramouche will you do the fandangoKimi: Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening meHina: Galileo, Kimi: galileo,

Hina: Galileo Kimi:: galileo Hina: Galileo Kimi: figaro- Both:magnificoKimi: But Im just a poor boy and nobody loves meHina: Hes just a poor boy from a poor familySpare him his life from this monstrosityKimi: Easy come easy go-,will you let me goHina: Bismillah! no-,we will not let you go-Kimi: let him goHina: Bismillah! we will not let you go- Kimi: let him go Hina: Bismillah! we will not let you go-Kimi: let me go Hina: Will not let you go-Kimi: let me go Hina: Will not let you go Kimi: let me go Hina: No, no, no, no, no, no, noKimi: Mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me goBoth: Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for me- (Hina’s hits the high note like nothing else-) KIBA SOLO!! Hinata spins around dramatically, is now in tight, short black dress with a black jacket and boots. Kimi’s in matching greaser-like attire. Kimi: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eyeHina: So you think you can love me and leave me to dieKimi: Oh baby-cant do this to me babyBoth: Just gotta get out-just gotta get right outta hereKIBA SOLO!! They’re back in a bathrobe and towel Kimi: Nothing really matters, Anyone can see, Hina: Nothing really matters-, nothing really matters to me. Shino finishes the song off. -THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE!!!!Itachi: THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! Hinata: -runs to shower stalls with roses being flung after her-

Zakura: -is staring in horny shock at the spot where Hinata just performed her darling heart outKiba: I’ll put the instruments back shall I? Zakura: -instinctively makes them disappearKiba: Dammit. Kabuto: -is hit in head by piano- Oh god…what’d we miss? Lee: A piano? I’m so confused… -Wind suddenly rushed over themLee: Irk. Kabuto: What is it? Lee: I…I don’t know but suddenly I…-pounces on Kabuto and starts kissing him furiouslyKabuto: ACK!! –holds him away- Dammit! This must be all the rejected requests for make-outs/raping/screwing. –sigh- I’m so glad I’m immune… -duct-tapes Lee to Piano- This is until I can figure something else. Lee: -nods agreement as he can’t talk through all the hormones rushing through his bodyLucifel: Yes, I liked HP7 and how everyone died in the end… Sakura: You’re awful. Lucifel: What? It’s how you guys will end too. Naruto: GAH! NOO!! Sakura: Eick. Hey -- if Kabuto is imune from Reviews -- does that mean he can not get gifts either? gives everyone else chicken sauted in thai peanut sauce over a bed of jasmine rice and crisp lettuce all wrapped up in a flour tortilla. Lee- I dare you to let Sakura, Haku, and Hinata pluck your eyebrows and cut/style your hair.

Zakura: …-snaps out of it- KABUTO’S IMMUNE?! This must be STOPPED! –storms over to the eyeball and pounds on the iris- OPEN UP!! Eyeball: -sticks out tongueZakura: -glares- You’ll get yours… Eyeball: -licksZakura: Gah! –stalks away- At any rate, yes. No gist for Kabuto. Eyeball: -smiles…somehow…and eats the frap cratesKabuto: OWW! FUCK! KNOCK IT OFF! Lee: -fights desperately against duct tapeKabuto: -pulls duct tape off his mouth- Does have anything to do with something besides your unnatural lust towards me? Lee: Yeah. I don’t want them to do my hair and I get to transfer it right? Kabuto: Yeh. Hurry up, you’re starting to foam so I need to re-tape you. Lee: Uh…umm…I don’t know! Kabuto: Who do you think could use a make-over most? Lee: Umm, Shino? Kabuto: Right on. –re-tapesLucifel: Saku, you get to make-over Shino instead because of the dare-transfer deal. Sakura: Shibby! Zakura: Shibby? Sakura: I can like boy meets boy… Zakura: But you said SHIBBY. Sakura: Leave me alone…Shino get back here!! Haku: -pounce/tackles- I’ve got him! Teehee! Whoops, it’s slippery in here!

Zabuza/Kiba: -try not to nosebleed at the sight of Haku and Shino slipping all over the place trying to balanceSaku/Hina/Haku: -pull Shino into the driest corner and start working on his eyebrowsShino: People will die for this…mostly Lee. Kiba: teehee. Shino: And you. Haku: No one watch! This must be a surprise! Kabuto: NO! I want good food! PLEASE!! Lee: Hrgmfuphtrgglhmphhhhhhh (if you un-tape me I’ll feed you) Kabuto: Eww, and no. There’s got to be something around here…Eww…what is this. Lee: ? Kabuto: god…I think it’s wedding cake…I think it’s alive… Wedding cake: GRAR!! Kyuubi: Never mind, I found someone better to steal power from. Someone stronger then you. If you want to know -who- you have to kiss Hinata. Summoning Contract Folks: Alright, who out there has a summoning contract, and what do you summon? And your dare is to summon your summon boss. Everyone: *Tosses in the Jumanji game board, with enough extra animal pieces for everyone to play* I dare everyone, except Kabuto, who is apparently completely resistant to reviews at the moment, and simple -ask- him to play this highly strategy game, so play this game until one of you wins.

Kyuubi: Wtf? Sure, she’s adorable. –pulls hinata over, he is still naked and kisses herHinata: KWAA! –runs away to Haku, who hugs her while pushing back Shino’s cuticles.- …can he do that again? Sakura: HINATA!! Orochimaru: I already summoned mine. –glares at KibaKiba I’m a Ninja And a Pokemon master AND a card captor…I’m AWESOME. Shino: I would glare if my eye lids weren’t so swollen from plucking… Jiraiya: Gama Oyabun wouldn’t be happy if—

Naruto: I’LL DO IT!! Sakura: You can’t. You have to it on to someone else. S’the rules now. Naruto: No fair! There’s no one else!! Sakura: Exactly. –grinsZakura: Ugh, it’s not even an evil grin…We don’t have time to play Jumanji! That’s so retarded… Naruto: We’re not all playing. Zakura: Well, it’s an everyone dare, so I mean the transfers will just go in circles… Kiba: No it won’t. Zakura: …what are you bastards saying. Sakura: Everyone transferring their dare to Zakura raise your hand! Kiba/Shin/Zabu/Haku/Kyuu/Naru/Lee(if he could)/Kure/Dei/Sas/Gaa/Kimi/Kabu(though he doesn’t know why)/Jira/Shika/Neji/Kank/Hina: Raise hands. Zakura: Bitches! ALL OF YOU!! Hinata, WHY?! Hinata: I’m sorry…you seemed like the one that would like it most… Zakura: So Oro and Itachi are my only comrades?! Itachi: Not really, we’re transferring to Sakura. Zakura: You all suck. Sakura: This is the worst year of my life… Zakura: It ain’t over yet bitch. I’m winning this game. -They go playAww... Zabuza feels left out... here's a whetstone for Zabuza, because I know that sword-sharpening is a hobby of his. (drops the whetstone on Orochimaru's foot) oops. For everybody: here's a pot of famous seven-alarm CHILI! It fills you up, tastes great, and increases your chakra with the power of KIDNEY BEANS!

Orochimaru: hrgm. –bites lipsZabuza: -picks up whetstone- this is the only stone that I’d like ’whet’.

Haku: I’m BUSTY!! Naruto: Wait…what? Haku: -blush- sorry, I mean busy….typo. Zabuza: -fantasy distraction!Naruto: chili? Kiba: CHILI!! –pounces at chili- I shall be a chili master next! Muwahaha! Shino: I wan’t some— Haku: no! We’re not done! Hinata: -eats chili- yummy! Shino: -whimperOrochimaru: owowowowowow…-wanders over to Jiraiya’s stall and hides, groaning in painOrochimaru: you already have a Sasuke plushie right? Well here's a Yusuke plushie because I saw one at star clipper comics and its really cute and funny. Naruto: I dare you to kiss, with tongue for ten seconds, either Kyuubi or Jiraiya. Throws the fly card in the room, you better seal that Kiba. I also give you guys a waterbed! It's huge and many people can fit on it at the same time! ...but it's not leak proof -evil grin-

Orochimaru: whimper…plushie? Yusuke Plushie: -stays very adorably plushie-like in his handsOrochimaru: PLUSHIE!! –evil smilingJiraiya: Must you do this in my shower stall? Orochimaru: But this is the first awesome plushie in a long tiiime. Jiraiya: -hugs Kurenai plushies- I am in total disagreement. Lucifel: STAR CLIPPER ROCKZ!!! Zakura: Right and everyone in the world will come to you town to see it… Lucifel: Hell is awesome.

Zakura: You don’t live in hell, Hell is in Michigan. Sakura: And you just summoned giant mosquitoes…and we’re in a damp environment. Zakura: FUCK! Kiba: Awesome, they’re not attacking us. Just the ‘Kura’s. Naruto: I want Kiba to do this instead!! Kiba: O.o Naruto WHY?! Naruto: I’m sorry! You were the first person that came to mind! Kiba: eh…uh…noooo… Kyuubi: I’m not kissing that. Zakura: -smashing a mosquito- Guess it’s Jiraiya then. Kiba: Please Kyuubi?! Kyuubi: No. Kiba: -walks towards Jiraiya’s cell- NEVAR!!! –pounces on Kyuubi and shoves his tongue down his throat. He brings it back just in time to avoid it being bitten offKyuubi: You….you…-pauses- that was tricky. But stylish. Nice job. –holds out handKiba: Thanks. –takes handKyuubi: Fucker. –punches in faceKiba: Worth it. Shino: Oh was it? –stands over Kiba, eyebrows tamed, hair straightened and smooth, falling to chin-length, skin scrubbed to glowing caliber, dressed in a sexy outfit of a tshirt, jacket, and slacks, mostly in ivory colors, that the girls somehow made, nicely, out of towelsKiba: Ohmagod. Hi Shino. Shino: hi. I’m going away now. Kiba: What! NO!!

Shino; -slams doorKiba: -card flutters in front of his face- What’s this! OOOH! NEW CARD! What’s that mean….seal it? Fly: SQUWAK!!! –zooms through the shower hall and starts wreaking havocZakura: Like the mosquitos, tail, and elelphants weren’t bad enough?! Sakura: This really isn’t going well… Haku: WATER BED!!! –jumps towards water bedZabuza: WAIT!! –catches Haku- Don’t do that. Haku: Why? Don’t you want to shag on the water bed? Zabuza: Of COURSE I do. But did you take the needles out of your pockets? Haku: …-blushes- heh, no. Zabuza: Aren’t you glad I stopped you? Haku: -discards needles- Yes…can we have sex now? Zabuza: -tackles him onto the water bedHoly Crap! i was the first question! yay! now questions. Deidara: how would you and Sasori "get it on" if he's a puppet? Shika: have you ever played saduko? Jiraiya: do you know what cybering is? if you don't here (hands a book about cybering) you would love it so much. MiniDeath

Deidara: He is a VERY detailed puppet, yeah. Sasori: What? Don’t judge me. I had the ability to make myself a puppetry-enhanced private area. I did so. Deidara: It’s awesome. –winksSakura: Are you guys actually talking directly to the audience? Deidara: Audience, yeah? Sakura: Yeah. Sasori: Wtf?

Sakura: -sigh- nevermind, I have to go squish the giant spider trying to eat Zakura’s head…. Kiba: -Trying to lasso the fly with a towel- you care? Sakura: she dies, I lose, sucks. Good luck with the bird though. Orochimaru: -poking his head out the the stall- my but its chaotic out thereJiraiya: Yep. Wanna get chaotic in here? Orochimaru: YES! Jiraiya: Figured you would. Orochimaru: You bastard! How dare you trick me! Jiraiya: I was tricking you? Orochimaru: …Is this some kind of joke? Jiraiya: Ask my boner. Orochimaru: -looks around franticallyJiraiya: They’re all busy with chasing animals and water beds and singing and makeovers. We’re cool. Orochimaru: …you’re seriously gonna screw me? Jiraiya: -shrugs- not if you don’t want to. Orochimaru: -narrows eyes- No. No you’re just doing this to damage my frail ego…the Kurenai plushie gave to a boner and for some sick reason you’re leading me on to dump me out of here and crush my heart! No Jiraiya, NO. –stalks awayJiraiya: -stunnedItachi: You really think JIRAIYA would do that to you? Orochimaru: No. But what’s a good romance story without crazy mis-interpreted antics. Itachi: God, but you’re my hero. Orochimaru: I know.

Shikamaru: -raises an eyebrow- I have played SUDOku, yes. It got boring. Nothing was challenging me enough. Not since I turned six, anyway. Naruto: I think you’re TOO smart. Shikamaru: shove it. I’m trying to get clean. Kiba, can I use your bubble card? Kiba: GASP! Yes! I will capture fly in a giant bubble! Shikamaru: Oh come on that’s never going to— -IT WORKS!Shikamaru: I hate fanfics…. Kiba: Clow card, return to the form you were meant to have! FLY!! –slams staffs onto Fly’s faceFly card: Watch it, bub. –is sealedKiba: -writes name on Fly card- muwahahahaha, from now on the cards shall be known as KIBA CARDS and I will rule them all!! BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! Hinata: Kiba? Shino is crying it the main room… Kiba: I will return to gloating shortly…-leavesJiraiya: Cybering. –smiles- I’ve ‘heard’ of it, yes…. A.H.S: -Hands over a bright blue vile- Make Sasori drink this...He tends to get ubberly weird when he laughes. As I was saying...Chimey and Hidan are expecting!! They want to ask if you got idea's for names!! Anyhow,...-Drops a box yaoi in.- Have any of you guys ever though of starting a nude calendar?

Kurenai: -thinks- eiiick, not gonna talk about this one. Zakura: You want names? How ‘bout; SCREW YOU I’M TRYING TO ESCAPE A SAFARI HUNTER!!! Sakura: -dodges a bullet- I like that one. Orochimaru: Oh…K… Sasori: What?! No I don’t need it— Orochimaru: -shoves potion down Sassy’s throatSasori: GAG I hate you…

Orochimaru: Ooo! Yaoi! Sasori: you can’t distract me with…is that Gackt? Orochimaru; :3 Deidara: I want to see— Kurenai: I NEVER POSED NUDE FOR A CALENDER AND IF I DID IT WAS FOR A GOOD CAUSE!! –blushDeidara: --yeah? Hinata: W-what cause? Kurenai: …teenaged boy orphans… Hinata: oh. Jiraiya: What year again? Kurenai: -gives finger-outsideKiba: Love? Shino: I’m sorry, you’re love doesn’t live here. Kiba: Look, I know you’ve been crying and I’m really sorry. I never mean to hurt you, you know that. Shino: I was crying because my eyebrows still fucking hurt, asshole. Kiba: Oh…that makes things difficult. Shino: Keep trying. Hi everyone, I'm back...-woozily stumbles to every member of the cast to hug themI feel so freaking Zen right now....Umm, I can't seem to the gifts I gave people, would you remind me please? -snuggles Kyuubi- Hi Kyuu-chan! Didja miss me? Um...could I ask you a favor? Meet Kin, my ninetails from Pokemon Emerald. Sasuke: As a parting note, just so you all know, I am a different version of Sasuke, far from the slutness of my counter-part in your universe. So basically: Stay the fuck away from me. Sincerely, A very 'Zen' Kryah

Itachi: Zen characters are so much worse than hyper ones.

Orochimaru: -nodsKurenai: You certainly never sent me enough chocolate. Jiraiya: Or sex toys. Kurenai: Or chocolate, Shikamaru: Or smart people… Kurenai: Or chocolate. Naruto: Or ramen! Kurenai: or CHOCOLATE!! Everyone: -meepKyuubi: I like this one though. She took me to Italy…-smiles at the memory- It’s not the same but I guess I could hang with your Ninetails for a…bit… Ninetails: Nine? Kyuubi; It’s you…it’s really you… Ninetails: Tailsnine? Kyuubi: How…what…will you marry me? Ninetails: Ninitailsnenine. Ninenine, tailsni, tails tails. Ninetails. Kyuubi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE NOT LOOKING FOR A LONG-TERM RELATIONSHIP! I, A FUCKING DEMON PRINCE WANT TO DEVOTE MYSELF TO YOU AND YOU ONLY WANT A…A FLING?! Ninetails: Nine. Kyuubi: …well, I can dot that too. –pulls her offSakura: I REALLY hope he’s planning to turn into a fox first. Naruto: Oh god… Itachi: I don’t care if he IS a AU Sasuke…I’ll still fuck him.

Shikamaru: -snortItachi: You need an attitude adjustment. Shikamaru: you need an asshole adjustment. Itachi: …wait…what? Shikamaru: I stand by my come-back. HT: guess who i captured! amber: oh great, another fangirl frenzy... HT: I CAPTURED EDWARD ELRIC FROM FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!! amber: at least its not shigure. HT: oh yeah, gaara! i made this potion for you, it should give you your memory back. but be careful, you have to say your name when you drink it in order to get your own memory. if you say someone else's name, like orochimaru for example, you'll have orochimaru's memories instead. have fun! amber: ok. I’m gonna dare someone. i dare orochimaru to wear a yellow polka-dot bakini.

Itachi: OMG!! GIVE HIM TO ME NOW!!!! Deidara: Edward is the sexy, yeah! Ayame: But he’s hard to make clothes for with his lop-sided arm…and where is Shino? I ned to adjust his outfit… Meanwhile… Kiba: shino, darling, I love you, do you need me to stand up in front of ANOTHER wedding and tell everyone? Shino: Why don’t you just stop ‘almost cheating’ on me? Kiba: This is gonna be a difficult one, isn’t it? Shino: You bet your ass. -back in the showerGaara: Oh my god…this is wonderful…I’m so nervous…what if I don’t like who I was? Kimi: You’ll be alright. Go on. Gaara: -takes a deep breath, tips the potion to his lips-From within the eyeball a horrible scream issues forthGaara: LEE! –swallow- Ho damn. –faints-

Kimimaro: Well this sucks. Lee: Owowowow, why did you have to be so rough? Kabuto: That’s just what happens when you remove duct tape. Watch out for anymore of those sex-winds. I’m not doing that with you. Ever. Lee: I’m very disappointed. Kabuto: Did you…just use sarcasm? Lee: Yes? Is that not ok? Sarcasm is youthful! Kabuto: no, it’s for tired, anti-youth prosti-tots. Lee: Oh…sorry. Ayame: you SHOULD get Shigure! And send him here! I miss my friends… Zakura: You, plus your pals, equals suckfest. We’re not doing that. Itachi: Especially since we can have a ‘suckfest’ of our own. Zakura: Bad boy. Orochimaru: Oh, but yellow isn’t my color…how about… Itachi: IFYOUPUTITONJIRAIYAI’LLKILLYOU!! Orochimaru: Itachi, then. Itachi: You die for this too….actually…-puts on- wow, this is fun. Shikamaru: I was thinking disturbing but whatever, who likes tomatoes? what are your blood types? what do you think of glitter? not cool to have glitter on you when you're trying to stalk your prey. oh and don't worry, i shall pray to His Noodly-ness for you. bloodsucker.

Shikamaru: tomatoes are my favorite fruit. Naruto: THEY ARE NOT FRUIT!! Neji: Actually, they are. Naruto: You know what? I’m sick of you smartasses always tyring to be right! Tomatoes are tomatoes! Neither fruit nor veggie, OK!?!

Neji: NO! It’s not! God you’re dumb. Naruto: YOU’RE DUMB. Neji: how am I the dumb one?! Naruto: Cuz you are! Itachi: you said what you said just to start one of these stupid arguments, didn’t you Shika. Shikamaru: Why yes. Yes I did. Itachi: So you DO have an evil side. Shikamaru: If I can do it without working? Always. Orochimaru: -blink- Don’t you know? You’re the fans. Kurenai: yeah seriously, if the fans don’t know we don’t fucking keep track. Sakura: I’m a MEDIC and I don’t. Zakura: Real fucking responsible. Sakura: Will you just tuck your tail in? Orochimaru: Glitter is super pretty!! Sasori: It is the herpes of the art world. Massively contagious, annoying as shit, and impossible to get rid off. Deidara: you can give me your artist herpes anytime. Yeah. Naruto: I like this girl, she prays to noodles. Itachi: you should try making sense some day Naruto. 1. So...Shikamaru I forgot. You're bi right? Could you make out with Temari?(Dare only used as a feeble excuse for not being able to think of a question.) 2. Kiba: You're pretty cool. I like how you're so exuberant. I can't if this was asked to you before, but do you have a crush on Hinata?(Or did you at one time?) Cause I'm really a fan of Kiba/Hinata.

Orochimaru: Hee, I love how scared this person is to ask a question that was asked before. We did our job. Shikamaru: I could. But I wont. That was not dare format, and beside, Temari’s not here.

Temari: OOMPH –falls on LeeKabuto: Oh great, someone wanted to have Temari around…just our luck. -wind blows byKabuto: Oh fucking no… Lee/Tema: -collide with sexual frustrationKabuto: Well…it’s not me. Kiba: Hmm, well, Hinata’s cute— Shino: Are you trying to get back together with me or not? Kiba: but never. Ever. Sorry. Shino: -rolls eyeserm I found out what the necklaces do...they kill your sex drive for about...two chapters I would say...hehehe...woops. Akatsuki people is the blue haired girl (the un-named member) really the leaders bi*tch? Oh and question for Naruto and Sakura what do you guys think of Sai? June x

Deidara: I wondered where all my boners went… Jiraiya: huh, good thing I never actually put Anko’s necklace on. Necklace: -lashes around Jira’s neck and tightensJiraiya: Fuck a doodle do. Zakura: I love that chapters is a new way of measuring time… Sakura: I love that I just won. Zakura: Fuck you bitch. We play again. Sakura: ARE YOU INSANE?! Do you want your tail back? Zakura: Now that you mention it I do rather miss it. Sakura: Forget this, I’m gonna go…do…something. Zakura: If you had friends this would be vastly easier wouldn’t it?

Sakura: Shut up. Deidara: Sure she is. Itachi: Are you even paying attention? Deidara: …yeah? Itachi: At any rate, the leadere has lots of bitches, ‘tis fun. ‘specially orgies. Deidara: Which just aren’t the same since Oro-chan left, yeah. Orochimaru; Yay. Naruto: He’s umm…a boy? Sakura: I think we’ll get back to you when Lucifel’s hauls her lazy ass off the computer chair and reads more shippuden. I can't how long somebodys tongue is and who has Kekkei Genkai! I have a very short memory, or then I just think that some information isn't worth ing the moment I ask it. Humph... Deidara: Have you tried exploding your way out of the room? And sorry if this has already been asked and blah blah blaah... Kyuubi: Have you tried DIGGING your way out of the room?(you know, being a fox and all...)

Orochimaru: Yay! He’s offended! Itachi: -highfivesSakura: You’re all awful. I give my apologies. Zakura: I don’t! Sakura: -sighDeidara: Why would I want to leave, yeah? I am having shit-tons of fun, yeah, Naruto: PLEASE?! Deidara: No….yeah. Kyuubi: -SCREAMS IN ORGASM FROM WHEREVER HE ISZakura: that means he’s busy too. And trust me, t’wouldn’t work. Nice try, come again. Sakura: Please do, they don’t really hate you.

Itachi: YES I DO! And I hate H.T. And A.H.S. AND CEYX!! Lucifel: -sighs- I didn’t want to do this Itachi…-removes ponytail.Itachi: …where did my hair go? Sakura: Direct author intervention, you insulted her son. Itachi: But…I don’t look good with short hair! Sakura: Your own fault dude. Itachi: -criesGod, I am so rude! I never thanked you guys for answering my quistions! -Bows in thanksZakura-Sama: How much does Sakura REALLY doubt that Sasuke likes her back and that she actually DOESN'T love him? Kiba-baka: Stick to you're man! Kurenai-san is WAY too good for you, she deserves someone hot like Itachi-Sama or Sasori-Sama (WARNING: Deidara's man and Gay-senpei are just EXAMPLES)and besides, Shino is ment for you. Baka. Deidara-sama: Does it gross people out that you have mouths on you're palms? I think it's awesome... (Well, besides the fact that if you hold someone's hand it'd be awkward...) -Inkinmyheart a.k.a Mair

Itachi: Dudes…we’ve been thanked. Orochimaru: that’s so sweet!! Itachi: I feel weird inside…like I should be nice to the fan. Deidara: Don’t say things like that yeah! You crazy man, yeah! Itachi: Sorry…don’t know what came over me… Orochimaru: Probably me. Itachi: Heh. Zakura: She really truly does. Especially now. See her worry about Kabuto? Sakura: While I’m brushing my hair? Zakura: Yes. Sakura: …right… Kiba: I’m working on it! Shino: not very hard. If this is the best you can do at seducing me you may as welll put the whipped cream back and leave.

Kiba: no! I’ll seduce you! Worry not! Shino: -smilesDeidara: Not with the crowd I hang out with yeah, they all love it. Though it does make disguise difficult because they don’t like gloves and it’s kind of awkward not showing anyone your palms…I don’t know why everyone likes palms so much anyway… jackasses, yeah. Itachi: First time I shook his hand I totally freaked out, was cool. He gave me a hand/blow job to make up for it. Sasori: You are SO a whore. Deidara: Teehee. Kyuubi: Who said I wanted you anyway? Go fuck yourself loser. To everyone else I give wishes! One wish each as long as it has nothing to do with killing and sex but anything else will do. One you made your wish it starts straight away or appears straight away.

Kyuubi: -walking out of a secret door- Fuck myself? Naw, I just completely took my frustration out on a gorgeous creature. The awkward, cute one is next. Orochimaru: Who— Kyuubi: -smirks at NarutoNaruto: Meep. Orochimaru: Hee, offended fans are fun! I’ve got a new hobby! Itachi: Right on. Zaku/Lucy: Oh no, please, stop. –sigh- oh well, I tried. Sakura: You two are horrible. Naruto: Can we save these wishes? Zakura: Sure. Naruto: YES! I want RAMEN!! Zakura: What happened to saving it? Naruto: Changed my mind…quickly…

Lucifel: That’s it. No more. This has been a plenty long chapter. And it’s ON TIME. Bow down and worship me bitches!! Anyway, yes, please look into what I mention earlier and if anything is wrong with this chapter, sue me, it was long I didn’t feel like proof-reading it, and I have head-ache because of my six-hour devotion to you damn fans. I love you all. K, bye. I want to read more Boy meets Boy…

Ask Sakura 38 Lucifel: I’m late, because of procrastination, camping and obsession with drawings…I regret nothing! –Breaks down sobbingZakura: Les Miserables was not THAT sad…I thought it was kind of funny. Kiba: You got to go to a play! Zakura: A MUSICAL…there’s a difference… Kiba: But you were out! Zakura: Of course. But was at a musical. GAY. Hinata: Oh…you must not have liked Kimi and I did… Zakura: …I love musicals. I was just kidding. Hinata: I’m so glad. –smilesZakura: -droolsLucifel: The showers are gone now, btw. :3

Kiba: Be careful with the Clow- err.. Sakura- No KIBA cards, Anyways, why doesn't SAKURA get to seal the SAKURA cards? Itachi: I still think you look good even with short hair! But if it Really bothers you just drink this potion *hands him green/blue bottle* Don't forget to check a mirror afterwards. Sasori: Do you hate Sakura? You know, for Killing you?

Kiba: I will be! They’ll be my best friends ever! And I will give them names and— Shino: -ahemKiba: -goes back to giving Shino a full-body massage- Do you forgive me yet? Shino: Ask me again in thirty minutes…oh, that’s the spot. Sakura: Yeah! Why don’t I! Kiba: Cuz I’m Better! Shino: Good masseuses don’t talk…not the ones I like anyway. Kiba: -shuts upZakura: mostly it’s Kohaku’s call. –shrugsItachi: -plays mournfully with his hair- thanks…I think it sucks… Deidara: Well, I bet Kisame would still like it, yeah! Itachi: But…Kisame’s WEIRD. Deidara: Well, you’d have to be to like you with short hair. Yeah. Itachi: O.O Deidara: I meant…that uh…you just look BETTER with long hair! You don’t look Bad just…worse… Itachi: -bawlsDeidara: Sassyyyyy!! Sasori: What? Deidara: We need to cheer Ita-chan up! Sasori: I’m sexing him up if that’s what you mean.

Deidara: No, no, we have to something really nice and thoughtful. Sasori: Still out. Oh, and no I don’t hate Sakura for killing me seeing as I staged the whole thing. Deidara: You’re so sexy yeah. Anyway…I’mma call Kisame. Kisame: Huh? Phone? –picks up phone- Hello?...no, not interested life insurance… No I…Listen, I just got back from a really scary world full of—I’m not crazy! Itachi and Kabuto left me in there! Hey! Fuck off! –runs to Zetsu cryingDeidara: He’s busy, yeah. Dammit. I will him psychically!! –concentratesSasori: Are you kidding? Deidara: If it’s a distress signal about Itachi he’ll come running! Kisame: And then she called me a fish—waitaminute, I’m getting an Ita-vibe….I guess that means it time to go look at all my Itachi-PR0N!! –skips off to bedroom- :3 Other Akatsuki: O.o…? A.H.S: I gots another person for you to meet!! Say HI Leara!! Leara: -Blinks her grey eyes as she pushes up her glasses.- Yo...A.H.S: They've been helping me get over the shock of Daimos taking some potion and growing up quick and killing Zetsu...-Sniffles Leara: since she's busy moping...-Yawns- I got a few questions... Sakura, -Hands a purple potion.- Not sure what its effects are, but its some kinda enhancement potion. State the attribute and it grows. -Looks to Naruto and giggles.- Hey there cutie! -huggles and kisses, sneaking a cellphone into his pocket.- call me sometime! Itachi, I have to ask you but have you ever used the mangekyou for pleasurable purposes?

Itachi: Uh-uh, I’m not touching another purple potion EVER a-fucking-gain! Sakura: Ick, yeah after what it did last time… Deidara: But last time you met Kisame right?! Itachi: Umm…well…yeah… Deidara: I’ll go get him!! –Swallows potion- How come nothing happened? Orochimaru: That purple looks a little darker. Kiba: Then…shouldn’t something have enhanced? Deidara: …-blushes-…well, it makes sense since I’m always thinking about that… Naru/Kiba/Lee/Saku: SICK!!! Naruto: …uhhhh…

Hinata: -horrorZakura: -garbs cell phone and smashes- THERE! No calling fan’s split personalities. Hinata: -relievedZakura: -smiles and blushes- Now I have to do something evil to get rid of these gushy feelings… Deidara: MUST GET KISAME!! Kisame: ACHOO!! ACK! I sneezed on my Itachi Pr0n!!! NOES!!! Itachi: -tries to style his hair…fails…sobs…- Yes…but it hardly seems worth it now…I want my hair back. Deidara: what if I pleasure you, yeah? Itachi: no…I just want my hair… 1- Lucifel: Since you're obviously the wisest of everyone in the room, do tell: Since when did everyone like boys!? Not like I care, as I'm a straight male myself, but really, since the percentage of those who prefer the same sex is so low, how is it statistically possible for EVERYONE in the room to be a homosexual!? 2- Sakura: What has Sasuke done to deserve you? Ignored you? Because I'd ignore you too if it meant that I could get with someone as delicious as yourself...delicious and nutritious ;P Oh yeah, and here's my last question for you Sakura: Did you know that the name 'Sasuke' is an anagram of 'Ass Uke'?

Lucifel: Ah, yes, well, first of all –pulls down a big white sheet behind me where there’s dozens of pie charts and graph-lines, and slips on a white lab coat and Kabuto’s old glasses- statistics like that only work with people who are OPEN about their sexuality, many times that number more are in the closet, and more and more young children become more open to exploring their sexuality every day. And also, really the percentage is pretty even, and its this very town that makes it so. But it’s a secret ninja town so no one before this knew. See? Good. Very well class, that’s all for today. Oh, and on a side note, Naruto, Lee, Kurenai and Sakura still think they’re straight! Zakura: What about Hinata? Isn’t she straight? Hinata: Well…I’m…I’m actually….-blushblushblush- bi. Zakura: -eyes turn into hearts and rainbows and birds and butterflies and hearts and bubbles begin floating around herKiba: HAWT!!! Shino: Kibaaa…

Kiba: -sighs and feeds Shino grapes as he lounges on the bed…they kicked Kankuro offItachi: What has Sasuke done to DESERVE her? More like what has he done to be cursed by her liking him. My little Sasuke…he could make things better. Deidara: But I’m getting you someone even better yeah! Itachi: -sniffleSakura: I umm…wait…what? Zakura: He hit on you. Get over it. –gagsSakura: Oh, well, Sasuke’s just…really sexy. What more can I say? Zakura: that you’re a loser with no standards and bad hair? Sakura: I don’t lie. Zakura: So say it already. Sakura: -glareglareglareItachi: Well…that little bit of Sasuke info cheered me up infinitely. Deidara: NO! I haven’t got him yet! Be depressed some more so I can cheer you up! Itachi: …hwa? Orochimaru: EWWW! Sakura’s icky! Itachi: In the beginning of the story you were totally hot for her! Orochimaru: Noooo, that was Zakura. –Sticks out tongue and licks Sasori who is across the room- And I only liked the evilness. Zakura: Flattered. –smirkum I guess I'll give Ayame Shigure since he never gets anything. Kiba how can you be so mean to Shino? You guys are perfect together! since you never get any real-life questions do you guys think that underage drinking is okay? and what age and how much is ok?

Ayame: YAY! Shigure-chan! It’s been so long since our last meeting! My desire for you has become so intense I could hardly stand it!! Shigure: Ayame-chan! I too, have longed for your embrace and sensual touch!

-they run towards each other in dramatic fashionOrochimaru: -intercepts- I wanna part of this!! Shigure: Ayame, do you…do you have a new lover in this man?! Ayame: Even if I did, Shigure, I would never love him as much or as ionately as I do you! Shigure: In that case…why not? Orochimaru: WHEE! Yay! –they have cuddle threesomesJiraiya: -feels left outKurenai: -smacks with skilletJiraiya: WTF?! Kurenai: You looked like you wanted attention. –smilesJiraiya: you’re just being abusive… Kurenai: Yeah. Kiba: This? This right here –gestures the spa Shino has had Kiba construct- is not being mean. Shino: If you don’t start rubbing my feet again I’ll have to consider it as much. Kiba; Yes amster…. Shino: and underage drinking? Hmm…get me some sake and let me think about Kiba: I want some!! Zakura: Ok, who here thinks drinking underage is a bad thing? -everyone is stillZakura: then let me say I think it’s generally acceptable for kids from like, ten and up to have a little bit of wine or something from time to time and by the time you’re fifteen if your not smart enough to know what to and when not to get smashed, then you deserve to become an alcoholic.

Kurenai: umm….no. Orochimaru: I disagree as well. Kids should be drinking from the moment they’re born! Deidara: YEAH!! Itachi: I was, practically. Me and pops shared Sake all the time. Sakura: So your dad got you drunk at a young age…one more reason you’re so fucked up. Itachi: One of the reasons I’m so AWESOME. Sakura: Well, not with THAT hair cut. Itachi O.O –depressedDeidara: …must get a hold of Kisame, yeah… -slips sword card into Gaara's pocket- wonder how long it will take them all to notice? hopefully before it takes over! wow I saw Bourne ultimatum AND Die Hard 1 today and I am pumped! So... machine guns for everyone! To Zabuza, a chink of C4 explosive. God Allan Rickman is hot.

Gaara: -opens eyes and sits up slowlyKimimaro: Gaara! Are you all right? Please don’t tell me you’re like Lee now— Gaara: -staresKimimaro: Ga—gaara? Gaara: -pulls sword miraculously out of his pocket…and attacksKimimaro: WTF?! Kiba: IT’S A CARD!!! YESSSS!!! Shino: -ahem- are my sunglasses polished? Kiba: But— Shino: When you’re done. Kiba: Aww man… Kimimaro: A LITTLE HELP?!

Naruto: Gaara! Knock it off! –stands in wayGaara: -stabsNaruto: ACK! My shirt! You could have killed me! Gaara: -attacks againEveryone: ONGWTF!!!! MACHINE GUNS!!!! Zabuza: -grabs the biggest one- YIPPEE-KAY-YAY-MOTHER-FUCKERS!!!!!!! –starts shooting everythingGaara: -turns to Zabuza and attacks himZabuza: -levels gun with GaaraKimi/Naru: NOO! –tackle ZabuzaHaku: ZABUZA-SAN WTF?! Zabuza: Sorry…it’s just so much fun… Haku: -sigh- You can cause plenty of destruction without killing Gaara…. Zabuza: Fine…-poutsKurenai: We’re ninja here, we have no NEED for automatic— Jira/Naru/Kiba/Shin/Shika/Sas/Dei/Ita/Nej/Kank: WOOT!!! GUNS!!!! Kurenai: -sigh- men…I thought more of YOU Shikamaru. Shikamaru: Guns are EASY; you pull the trigger and go. Much less troublesome… Naruto: YAY!! Haku: You were just berating Zabuza-san! Naruto: I’M not gonna shoot Gaara though-- -accidentally pulls trigger while messing around with the gun and shoots Gaara in the leg- Fuckit. Kimimaro: GAARA!! –runs over to the fallen, bleeding boy.Kiba: WAIT! –runs over and tries to pull sword from grasp- No good…he’s still under its control…AHA!! –sticks finger in bullet wound-

Gaara: AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Kimimaro: KIBA!!!!! Kiba: -pulls sword easily out of Gaara’s spasm-ing hand- What? Worked, didn’t it? Clow Card, Return to the form you were meant to have! SWORD CARD!!!!!! –slams down staffSword card: -becomes cardKiba: VWOOT! –Signs- muwahahahahahaha. Shino: Very nice, now…-smiles- I have something really nasty for you to do. Kiba: Oh great…yes, master? Shino: -leans forward to whisper into his ear- I want you to make love to me from every angle possible and not stop until you can hardly breathe. Kiba: O.O…-shudders-YES MASTER!!!!! –pouncesShino: -gigglesZabuza: Muwahaha…buwahahaha….EHEHEHEHEHEHEHHHE!!!!! Haku: -steal C4- no. Bad Zabuza. Zabuza: But it EXPLODES!!! Haku: -sigh- Maybe later, k? Zabuza: Fine… Orochimaru: I say that counts as throwing Allan Rickman in!! Zakura: No, she’s already had three things this review. Orochimaru: But— Zakura: No. Sakura: Just because you’re lesbian—THAT’S NOT FAIR!!!! Zakura: -evil smile-

can I be one of Kiba's pokemon? Yes but Shika have you play Koduko? Plus woo I'm not on Itachi's hate list ^_^ I shall give you a wish in a jar because I' so happy

Kiba: If you fit in a pokeball, I will train you! Shino: Less talking more sucking with that sexy mouth of yours… Kiba: Hrrgggmmm…-shiversShikamaru: If it’s a logic game, I’ve played it. And mastered it. Neji: You should try sex games, they’re less predictable. Shikamaru: …Kiba may have a point about you. Neji: -horror- HEY! Itachi: You probably actually are. I didn’t list all of my hated people. But hey nice, I wish for my hair back. -his hair plops down in his lapZakura: Oooh, you should have been more specific. Itachi: But I still have the other kid’s wish! I wish for my hair to be re-attached to my head!! -His hair attaches to his forehead in a single ponytail-like protrusionItachi: GODAMMMIT!! –Runs off to cryDeidara: We need Kisame… Gaara: *Biggest evil grin you've ever seen Jaden with* YOSH! GAARA, MY YOUTHFUL FRIEND, STAND UP AND CHANT THE POWER OF YOUTH WITH MYSELF, AND LEE, WHO IS TRAPPED IN THE EYEBALL! Everyone: I dare you all to wear dresses of your favortie color. And so help me, if you all give it to one person, I'll take away your abilites to have sex... P.S. *Shurgs, and throws in the Elric brothers, from FMA*

Gaara: -twitchesKankuro: -who was awake after grabbing a gun- no. Gaara: -sits up slowlyKimimaro: Oh no… Gaara: -stands and looks around-

Naruto: Ga-Gaara? Gaara: -suddenly smiles really big and starts marching around the room- I WILL LIVE MY LIFE THROUGH THE WAY OF YOUTH!!! Naru/Kimi/Kank: NOOOOOO!!!! Gaara: -clears throat- Sorry, happens. –smileSakura: He seems a LITTLE less crazy than Lee… Zakura: Well there’s still a bit of him left, he is who he is, even with different memories. So basically, he’s Gaara but with a lot of youthful ion. Lee: YOUTH!! THE WORLD WILL BE SAVED BY YOUTH!! WE WILL LIVE BY THE WAY OF YOUTH!!! Kabuto: At least he’s done making out with Temari. Temari: -has been throwing up since realizing who she was making out withKabuto: Oh come on, girly, he couldn’t have been THAT bad. Temari: Huh…oh no, I’ve just got a massive hangover…eeugh…. Kabuto: Oh…Aren’t you running Suna right now? Temari: -gives thumbs up while she hurls some moreKabuto: Gaara won’t like this. Ayame: YAY!! Do I get to make them?! -starry eyesZakura: Umm…sure… Ayame: European or kimono? Zakura: Cast your votes guys. FOR KIMONOS: Shika/Zabu/Kiba/Shin/Nej/Naru/Jira/Kank/Gaa/Sas/Kure/Kimi: -Raise handsFOR EUROPEAN: Haku/Ita/Dei/Hina/Saku/Zaku/Kyuu: -Raise hands-

Zakura: Umm…Kyuubi? Kyuubi: I’m voting for OTHER people. I’m not wearing that dress. I’m double-daring Naruto. Sakura: wait a minute…isn’t it true that fans CAN’T take anything unless they’re the ones that gave it? Zakura: -sighs- Dammit, yes. Sakura: Everyone who’s gonna put Naruto in a dress raise your hand!! Everyone (besides Haku, Hina, Kure, Oro, and Gaara): -raise handsZakura: Right on. Naruto: But…but… Kyuubi: We’re all saying European right? Everyone: -nodsNaruto: WHY ARE YOU ALL TURNING ON ME?! Sakura: Sorry Naruto, you helped make me play jumanji, after all. Naruto: Dammit. Zakura: Umm…Oro you didn’t say which dress you wanted. Orochimaru: That’s cause I want a evening gown. :) Ayame: YEEEE!! WILL DO!!! Come, Shigure!! Shigure: Perhaps I could make love to you while you work? Ayame: Oh, Shigure, of course. -They skip off to the closetOMG ED AND AL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -everyone stampedes to themEd: AGK! –is trampled by tallness-

Gaara: -pulls Ed out of the crowd- Are you all right? Ed: Yeah. –coughs- what the fuck is all this? Gaara: A rather youth-draining prison. You’re lucky you have so much youth. Ed: hwa? Gaara: -points to shortnessEd: …YOU BASTARD!!! –tacklesAl: Brother!! No!! –pulls Ed off Gaara- You can’t! Ed: Yes I fucking can! I get pulled off to a new dimension and I’m STILL called short! WHAT THE HELL!?! Orochimaru: The taller one is sexy as a human, yeah…-licks AlAl: HRGM?! Ed: HEY!! –drop-kicks Oro- You’re DAMN RIGHT he’s cute. And He’s MINE so fuck off!! Itachi: YAY! Brother-incest!! Ed: -horror- That’s NOT WHAT I MEANT!! I MEANT HE’S MY BROTHER!! Itachi: And he’s cute! I completely understand. Trust me! Ed: THAT’S NOT HOW IT IS!!! Al: -blushing furiouslyLee: I sense an over-flow of angry youth… Kabuto: It’s called teen angst. They all have it. Lee: No…this is something more… Kabuto: -sighs and rolls eyesDeidara: I understand why you don't want to leave. It seems fun in there... And if you 'get it on' with Sasori, don't you get splinters or whatever they are in very uncomftorable places? Sakura: Thank you for being nice, unlike SOME people that I for some unknown reason adore. And because of that, I'll give you whatever you want! A trip to Hawai after you get out? -smiles with notepad and pencil ready in her handsShikamaru: If you would be able to get something you REALLY want, but you had to work for it, would

you work in order to get this something you want? Bye bye!

Deidara: Oh no, it’s very nicely finished, no splinters there. He is a MASTER puppeteer after all. Ed: What the hell is this place…? Al: I…don’t know…it scares me… Sakura: Oh, no problem. SOMEone has to be nice to the fans. And I probably won’t have time for Hawaii, but a day at a spa full of sexy masseuses…mmmm… Ed: Why are they talking to no one? Al: Maybe they’re all CRAZY. Zakura: Maybe you guys are just not crazy enough. Everyone else had known what’s going on. Ayame: DONE!! And I went to the liberty of making a european dress for Ed. Ed: A…a what? Ayame: a DRESS!! –shoves him into it- Yay. I knew that arm would challenge m, but it works, eh? Ed: -twitch, twitch- NO!! Al: Heehee, imagine if Roy saw you in that. Ed: -blushes- Shut up… Shikamaru: Everything I want requires no work. –pauses- well, there’s ONE thing, and yes, I’d be perfectly willing to expend energy on that. –glowers and pulls out paper to write to Choji sulkilyItachi: what age did you take sasukes virginity? Kabuto: ever thought of lenses. you have sexy eyes. Haku: Like deidara, do you like confusing people about your gender? June, Aaron and Kit x

Itachi: Well, it was only a little while before the whole killing-spree thing so…he was about eight-ish, I was thirteen. It was good times. Ed: Are you… Itachi: Talking about my brother? Yeah. :)

Ed: Oh my god… Kabuto: No. I like my glasses. Sakura: Kabuto looks better with Glasses. Haku: You think he’s cute! Sakura: I do not! Hinata: Heehee, you’re in love! Haku: WE know how you’re feeling…who you’re thinking of! Sakura: No chance! No way! I wont say it! No! No! Hinata: But you swoon, you sigh! Haku: Why deny it, wa-oh? Sakura: It’s too clichéd! I won’t say I’m in love…! My heart has learned it’s lesson! It’s only good when you start out. My head is screaming get a grip girl…unless you’re dying to cry your heart out… Haku: You keep on denying who you are and how your feeling-Hinata: Sakura, we’re not buying, hon, we saw you hit the ceiling. Haku: face it like a grown up, when you gonna own up! Hinata: That you got, got, got it bad!! Kabuto: No chance, no way, I won’t say it! No! NO! Lee: Give up, give in!!! Temari: Check the grin you’re in love! Kabuto: This scene, WON’T play, I won’t say I’m in love! Lee: You’re doing flips (of youth) Temari: Read our lips, you’re in love.

Kabuto: If there’s a prize for rotten judgement…I’ve already won that. No one is worth the aggravation, that’s ancient history. Been there. Done that. Sakura: You’re way off base, I won’t say it! Hinata: She won’t say it…no… Kabuto: Get off my case I won’t say it! Hina/Haku: Girl, don’t be proud Lee/Tema: It’s Ok you’re in love!! Sakura: Well…at least…out loud… Kabuto: I won’t say I’m in love. Tema/Lee/Haku/Hina: Shalalalalala…ahhhh. Naruto: Sakura-chan…what are you guys doing? Sakura: Heh? Oh…uh…nothing… Haku/Hina: -giggleZakura: -to Ed- You learn to ignore the random bursting into song. But you guys could have kept it in the right order. Temari: So, you it you have a crush on Sakura? Kabuto: No. I don’t know what the fuck that was but it wasn’t about her. –glowerLee: THAT’S what it was about?! No! I thought he was supposed to love Kimi! Kabuto: We’re just friends. Lee; So you like MY SAKURA!! Kabuto: NO! I DON’T!! Temari: At least not OUT LOUD. Kabuto: Fuck you all! Temari: Wouldn’t you be happier with Sakura?

Kabuto: -glowerEd: What about confusing genders? They both look perfectly well like women to me. Haku/Dei: We’re not. WA-WA-WA!!!! (That was supposed to be horror music) Ed: O.O Wuh-what? Haku: I’m a boy. –SmilesDeidara: Me too, see, yeah? –Lifts skirtEd: AGGGGH!!! Deidara: In short, yes. I love it, yeah. Haku: It can be rather amusing, teehee. Itachi: I notice you didn't say you hated me. Thanks! (Gives Itachi a frap with hair-growth formula). Naruto: I give you anti-Kyuubi wards made of uncooked ramen! So you can have your mystical shields, and eat them too! Kurenai: Did Kyuubi break the spikes on the new pan when you failed to damage him with it?

Itachi: -just finishes shaving hair off his forehead- Will it grow in its PROPER place, this time? Zakura: Yup. –smilesItachi: Ok…-swallows- mmm, delicious! –feels for hair- hey…wtf? Deidara: What’s wrong, yeah? Itachi: -looks down pants- Hahaha, Zakura. Zakura: hey. It’s natural right? Itachi: I hate you…now I need to shave and trim…-sighsNaruto: screw wards, THIS IS RAMEN!!! Where…can I make this? Zakura: Find a kitchen. Naruto: -whimperKurenai: Nah, all my skillets are still fine…well maybe the occasional Jiraiya faceprint. :)

Jiraiya: Ow… HT: ITACHI HATES ME!?!? YOURE MEAN YOU UGLY WHORE! no edward for you. besides, he hasnt come back from capturing the colonel for me. amber: she actually planned it all along to have itachi in a bakini. HT: did not! amber: lies.

Itachi: Hey, don’t call Lucifel an ugly whore. She may be that, but that’s not reason to— Lucifel: one, she’s talking to you, ass-face. Itachi: YOU FUCKING BITCH!! I got Ed anyway so :p!! Ed: We’re in the place that crazy HT bitch was talking about?! AWW SHIT!!! Lucifel: Also, double revenge. –gives Itachi a buzz cutItachi: Meep…no…no…NOOOOOOO!! Deidara: Yeesh…oh, wow, Kisame how’d you get here? Kisame: I felt a disturbance in the sexiness of Itachi. Deidara: Right on. Al: Oh, Ed ‘captured’ the colonel long ago…teeheehee… Ed: Al, shut up. These people FEED off that kind of thing. If they know, they’ll never let us go! Itachi: Fuck you. No more bikini… Sakura: So, are you talking to Lucifel now? Itachi: who? Sakura: -sighKisame: You were in a bikini? Hawt. Itachi: Not anymore I’m not…-snifflesKisame: Itachi, love, you will ALWAYS be the sexiest thing around. –hugsItachi: …wow…thanks…-cuddlesKisame: -thinks- SCORE!!

Kiba: here, (hands a seducing kit) might help with the Shino problem. 1. if you were a magical creature what would you be?(Kyuubi, you don't have to answer obveously) 2. do you love me? that your answer will effect what i do to you in the future (evil smile)) MiniDeath P.s. (throws in batman and robin)

Shino: Kiba, you better get to work using that. Kiba: Hu, yes sir! –tumbles onto ShinoKyuubi: Oh really? Maybe I’d like to be a fucking phoenix ever think about that? Naruto: Would you really? Kyuubi: Fuck no. But it’s insensitive. Naruto: -rolls eyes- I’d be a DRAGON!!! Kiba: A werewolf! Shino: Bite me, bitch. Kiba: Omg… Sakura: Oh, probably a phoenix, because of the way it continues to be destroyed but gets the power to stand up again. Zakura: I’d be the cool version of the phoenix. Sakura: grr. Hinata: Well… Haku: A unicorn! You’d HAVE to be! Hinata: Teehee, thanks…you’d make a good one too… Zabuza: I’d be whatever creature it is that corrupts young unicorns. -smirkHaku: Teehee. Neji: Sick. Whichever one gets the most action. Kiba: SLUT!! Kimimaro: I’d be a unicorn too, because of the horn thing… Naruto: so…you’re horny?

Kimimaro: NO! Cause of the bone thing! Naruto: So…you have a bone? Kimimaro: Knock it off. Gaara: I have a bone of youth. Kimimaro: No. You never say that again. Gaara: …sorry… Zakura: You can’t go asking EVERYONE everything, it’s gay. Sakura: By which she means it takes up time and unnecessary effort. Zakura: So basically, accept the fact that most fans are completely hated. I mean honestly, who isn’t? Kyuubi: I don’t mind Kryah! Itachi: I hate them all. Sakura: I don’t! It’s not they’re fault we’re all stuck here! Zakura: But it is their fault it SUCKS. Itachi: They had nothing to do with the removal of my hair! Kisame: You’re defending them? Itachi: No, I’m arguing for the fun of it. –smileKisame: I love your masochistic side. Itachi: -blushOrochimaru: So, are you two a couple…? Itachi: Ah, uh, no. Not at all. –scoots away from KisameKisame: Awww. –thinks- There goes my shot at real-life Itachi pr0n… Batman: Robin! TO THE BAT-MOBILE!!

Robin: Where…err…IS the bat mobile? Batman: GASP! If we don’t have the bat-mobile…which backseat will I sodomize you in? Robin: -big teary eyes- No more backseat sexiness?! OH NOES!! Zakura: Hey guys, I think you parked on the bottom of the putrid frap pool… Batman: Thanks, citizen. Iw ill be watching you from the shadows. Zakura: Riiiight…creepy, much? Just get out of here. Batman: -swoops offQuick question. If any of you guys(That includes everybody) could turn into a pokemon, what would you be?

Zakura: We answered this one already. Go find it back in the old chapters…somewhere after the first ten I should think… Sakura: Oh come on, that’s way to much crap to make them shift through! Orochimaru: I wanna be an Arbok!! Zakura: Shut up! We’re not answering! Naruto: Well I’d be a Bulbasuar… Zakura: no. 1) I never really review people hence why I don't have a name and shit.. consider yourself special;) ! 2) I never was into yaoi fanfics and even when I tried to enjoy them I sort of was like.. " yuck.. " and then eventually stopped reading them.. but wow! I can't stop reading yours Your freakin' amazing! I kept literally laughing out loud up untill chapter 18, and now I'm sort of tired to read and go on to the next chapter. I'll get there tomorrow, but yeah I thought you'd be pretty darn happy to know that you got someone else into the sexy yaoi action. I also think the whole Ask Sakura thing is like, hilarious. Well yeah, I guess this is a pretty long review huh? It's actually the longest one I've ever written in my life! .. you ARE speciall! Yeah.. long review.. I hope you enjoy reading about how I'm completely falling for your story. Duckyy

Sakura: Wow…we’re appreciated… Itachi: Is there any questions there? Zakura: nope. Just wanted to show how much the fans are enjoying this. Lucifel: enjoying ME. Naruto: -snrrrk- they’re enjoying you are they?

Sakura: SICKO!! Alright, Sakura-bitch. You cannot have my name as your english name! Cause it's MY NAME, not FUCKING YOURS! Also, I have a problem with you stealing Kabuto too... STOP STEALING MY THINGS! I have a stupid question - has either Sakura or Zakura tried punching through the wall? Or is it just futile? I have just one more thing - A big kiss for Kabuto and a hug for everyone who's unoccupied. Love, Rose.

Sakura: Ok…I found a fan I don’t like… Zakura: YES!! Sakura’s being a bitch! Sakura: I’m not! She is! Zakura: ZING! And the fans go rabid and try to tear our little “main character” apart! Sakura: Shut up! She’s mean! I’m not stealing anything! I don’t want her name! Zakura: Trust me, it’ll be futile. And haha, I reject that kiss. To Kabuto it goes… Sakura: Too bad, he’s exempt. –sticks out tongue-kiss falls flatKabuto: HAHA!! In your face Rose-bitch! You will never have me! NEVAR!! – crazy eye-twitchTemari: That can’t be healthy… Lee: Or youthful! You are not youthful Kabuto! Sakura needs someone with youth! Kabuto: Fuck what Sakura needs, What I need is to get away from the crazy fangirl… -Huge teary eyes- I-I'm sorry...I'M A BAD PERSON! I cheated on Lucifel, Ignored you all while only pampering Kyuu-chan, and am now with holding a new chapter of my story from lucifel! Oh, and Sasuke said he'd rather die a Virgin Itachi-sama. I'm depressed now... Free goodies to whoever can cheer me up... UNsincerely, Kryah

Orochimaru: Oooh, yeah, you’re pretty much the worst person ever, better go jump off a bridge… Kyuubi: Who cares if you’re a bad person?! So am I, and I’m fucking awesome! Itachi: I want my hair back…

Zakura: No one fucking cares. Itachi: Well, I’m not gonna like ANYONE until I get my hair back. Kisame: -gasp- MUST GET ITACHI’S HAIR BACK!! Zakura: Fine, you can stay until that happens. Kisame: Yesss… Ayame: Hey! Shigure and I are leaving now! Zakura: you can’t. Ayame: Yes I can. I’m a cross-over throw in. I can leave. Lucy and I agreed. Zakura: -glares at Lucifel- Well, LUCY, ever think about me? Lucifel: -shrugsAyame: We’re gonna find Hatori and Yuki!! Shigure: Why Yuki? Ayame: Because he’s my adorable little brother! Shigure: I want an adorable little brother… -they go offZakura: Anyway, I guess we’ll just have to keep Ed around extra long then. Ed: Wait—what? Zakura: Al can leave though. Al: Oh ok, see you brother! Ed: No…wait…WHAT?! Al you can’t leave! Al: you’ll be fine, I’ll tell the colonel you say hi! Ed: I HATE YOU!! Al: Love you too. –goes away-

Ed: -crushedOrochimaru: Gotta love that brotherly love. Itachi: I do. And I will…better commit suicide FAST, little AU Sasuke, I’m coming for you…muwahahaha… Orochimaru: Can I watch? OMG! All Akatski Characters are cute! Hidan and Itachi are the best looking though. Anyway...Sakura...Ask Tobi if he were to find a copy of himself while walking in the woods, but that copy was EVOL and CUTER, what would he do and would he drag it back to show Zetsu? And does Deidara really have a mouth in his chest?

Itachi: Hidan might be able to pull off the buzz cut… Kisame: But he’d still be less sexy than you. Itachi: -sigh- true…but still… Zakura: Damn, you might want to let yourself have a bit of an ego, Itachi. Being so humble can be damaging. Sakura: Oh ok. Tobi? –puts on voice- Yes? –off- Would you drag a copy of yourself that you found randomly to show Zetsu? –on- yes! I am a good boy! –off- WTF! I don’t even know who Tobi is! Why should I know? Tobi: -finds copy of self in woods- Tobi is a good boy and will show Zetsu right away!! Deidara: Maaaaaybe. Itachi: Deidara…tell them. Deidara: -secret smile- I said MAYBE. Yeah. Zakura: He said yeah. –shrugs- good enough. Sakura: -rolls eyesYou did it, you sung it beautifully! Wait how can I actually tell the quality of the music if it's just being read by a random fanboy? Zakura: that little typo that Haku spoke made me laugh a lot, so I dare you to use your near infinite control over this inane world to give Haku Tsunade sized boobs. Kyuubi: your fling with Ninetails disgusts me because you're pathetic. I hope you realize that Kyuubi translates as Ninetails, so in essence that amazing bit of sex you just had was simply masturbation. Itachi:NO RAPING ED! oh and as for the whole hating me thing, I dare you to go Three chapters without any references to sex. So, fuck you bastard.

Zakura: You know it to be awesome because it WAS.

Hinata: -teehee- thanks… Haku: woah…these are hilarious! –starts playing with boobsJiraiya: I can’t tell if I’m disturbed or turned on… Orochimaru: -grabs crotch- hmm…feels like horny. Jiraiya: O.O Zabuza: Dammit, but I liked his smooth, childish chest…that’s just obnoxious. Haku: And bouncy! Hee. –bounces up and downKyuubi: That was NOT masturbation for pure reason that I do not masturbate with a gorgeous female nine-tailed fox underneath and around me. Also, it’s not as if when two people of the same name screw it’s masturbation so go fuck yourself kid. Itachi: He apparently WANTS to fuck me. Sakura: It’s a figure of speech. And , Lucifel cut off your hair for insulting this guys last time. Itachi: Meep…aww, WHY NOT?! Ed: Cause I don’t want to! That’s SICK!! What the hell?! –cowersItachi: What if I can make him consent…? Ed: YOU CAN’T!! I don’t like men with ugly hair-styles! Itachi: -crushed- … -walks over to a corner, crouches, and starts tracing circles in the dustKisame: -hugs1. this just might be the randomest fanfic I've read since Cars: The Documentary...I'm just curious, who here has heard of Disney Pixar's Cars? I've seen it nine times! 2. yes! the potion worked! but it's supposed to wear off after a while...oh well, here Gaara, have a muffin for your trouble. 3. at the reception, (of the wedding I was at) everyone was too busy dancing to music that they recognized from Trinidad (a small island in the Carribean where the families of both the bride and groom come from) to eat the cake that was given out so...I brought some to give to you guys! it's like a kind of spice cake. enjoy! -hums to Trinidadian song-The Muffinator 3

Naruto: OOH! OOH! I have! Everyone else: -stares-

Naruto: It was good… Gaara: But was it youthful? Zakura: It’s a fucking kids’ movie. Yeah, it was youthful. Gaara: Then we should all watch it to inspire our youth. Zakura: no. Gaara: Aww… Kimimaro: This is way too freaky…ack! Eat it! Eat the muffin fast!! Kankuro: -twitchGaara: What? Why? Kimimaro: JUST EAT IT!! Gaara: -swallows wholeKankuro: -lunges at stomachGaara: OOMPH!! –the begin to tumble around the roomEveryone: CAKE!!!!!!! Itachi: I think I this girl being gone now, there was significantly less bakery good without her…mmm… Ed: -sneaks towards cake cautiously…sniffs….DEVOURSKiba/Shino: CLIMAX AND COLLAPSE!! –they lie on the bed panting…they’ll be getting along well for a while now…heheLucifel: Well, not much to it, but that’s it for now. Sorry about the Wednesday night update. I’ve been in a weird sort of state. I’m trying to figure out a way to get myself OK again, so bear with me. Also, I’ve been busy. But hey, so long as I’m updating once a week, we’re good. ^_^ See you all next week! Love ya!

Ask Sakura 39 Lucifel: OMG!!! LOOK HOW EARLY THIS IS!! EVERYONE FREAK OUT!!!! Now I don’t feel bad for the following; …please go read Loyalty Eternal. I’m gonna be updating it a lot now that ‘Summer Wind’ is done. (For me, you all have to wait twenty more weeks for the whole thing) Anyway, the point is, that story gets no love. I understand if you haven’t read/or seen Samurai Champloo or Samurai Deeper Kyo it’s kind of weird, but I’ve heard only good things from the people that do read it and I’m really proud of it, so please give it a look. While you’re at it, check out ‘Summer Wind” Too, ok? It’s gonna be twenty-four short chapters, updates Fridays, awesome Naru/Kyuu fluff and some humor, and some drama, and some really deep stuff about what’s important. ONE LAST THING!! After reading further in Shippuden, I’ve decided that this story has a fixed date of right after the Deidara/Sasori arc. So, yeah, there ya go. God, I’m a mooch. Anyway, moving on! Sakura: ‘bout damn time. Geez. Lucifel: One more thing.

Sakura: ARG!! Lucifel: Ceyx and his girlfriend might break up over liking or not liking “Moondance”, everyone point a laugh! Sakura: I thought he was your beloved son? Lucifel: Which is why I’m getting him used to ridicule! How else will he survive the world? Sakura: You’re the worst parents ever. Zakura: you could use a dose of that, kiddo. I have fun with Lucifiel-chan. *Perverted grin* Kyuubi: I dare you to make-out with Sakura. Kabuto: *Hands you totally bad-ass glasses* Here. P.S. *Tosses The Joker, from Batman Comics* Have fun, Mr. J!

Lucifel: Teehee, ^_^ Sakura: Eww…EWW!! NO! No Kyuubi!! Kyuubi: Yeah…I’m transferring that to…Orochimaru. Orochimaru: Hwa? Sakura: GUH?! Orochimaru: But she’s so…NICE. Jiraiya’s the sweetest I can take. –poutsKyuubi: Sorry, It’s been transferred. Sakura: NO! I refuse! I won’t let— Orochimaru: Well, if I have to. Sakura: WHAT?! Orochimaru: -pounces and starts doing a lot of strange things with his tongue that make Sakura scream…it could be horror, ecstasy, or ticklish-ness, who can tell?Sakura: -scrambles away gasping- That was disturbing… Orochimaru: She tasted like bubblegum. –scrunches noseNaruto: -disturbed-

Kabuto; Eh, I’m not one for bad-ass-ness. –shrugs and ires his Elton John’s some moreTemari: This is why you don’t get laid, Kabuto. Kabuto: Hey fuck you, I get laid. Temari: Yeah, when Orochimaru gets bored with Sasuke. Kabuto: You suck. Temari: You wish. Ed: -is traumatized by Orochimaru’s tongue- It’s worse than gluttony… Orochimaru: And sexier! Ed: …-twitchJoker: -cacklesKyuubi: Weak. Joker: What? Kyuubi: The cackle. It was weak. Joker: Well, I dare you to do any better. Kyuubi: -smirks- Eheheheh, hahaha, HEHEHEHHEEHEHHRUUUUUUUHEHEHEHE. Joker: O.O …anyone seen batman? Zakura: Through the door to the bottom of the putrid pool. Joker: thanks…wait a minute…what about Robin? Zakura: there too. Joker: Oh, cool. –goes to poolZakura: I love throw-ins. Orochimaru: Mmmm, me too. –scoots towards EdEd: -scoots away…into Itachi-

Itachi: Well, hello. Ed: AGK! –dashes to hide under the bedItachi: Aww, he’s so little he can curl under the bed. Ed: -twitch- GRAHH!! –rips through bed- I AM NOT LITTLE!! Deidara: -pantses Ed- Oh, well I guess he’s not…yeah… Ed: GAH!!! –pulls pants up frantically…trips and fallsItachi: KYA! Look at that adorable butt! Ed: I wanna die… Sakura: A day to the most glamorous spa you can find has been reserved for you! And yes, it IS filled with sexy masseuses. And there might be a few women too, just for Zakura's joy. Itachi: I feel so bad for you... And your beautiful hair! Here! -hands a hair growing cookie- hope it helps, Shikamaru: What might this something you want but must work for be? Maybe... Chouji? -grins evillyEd: ZOMG! MUST HUGGLE! -pounces ed, squeezes and gives a kiss-

Sakura: YES!! Zakura: Yeah, we’ll see how that works out. Sakura: Don’t you want it too? Zakura: -shrugs- But I have no power after we get out…it’s a shame really. Itachi: Please work… Kisame –thinks- Please don’t work so I can stick around longer. Itachi: -eats cookie…grows hippie beard, but no cranium hair- DAMMIT! –goes to shave- At least I got a cookie… Kisame: :3 Shikamaru: …I wouldn’t have to work to get Choji. Kiba: Yeah, he’s totally obsessed with Shikamaru Shino: -snuggles in Kiba’s lapKiba: -smiles and hugsZakura: So what is it?

Shikamaru: I don’t believe I was told to tell you that. Zakura: They asked what it was. Shikamaru: They asked if it was Choji. Zakura: They so did ask you! Shikamaru: I refuse to take it that way. Zakura: Lazy ass. Shikamaru: Ayep. –dozesEd; -is just getting pants on- OMGWTF?!? Sakura: Heh, sorry, they do that sometimes… Ed; WHO?! Sakura: The fans… Ed: …I hate this place. aww poor tachi *throws in a wig* Kankuro, do you know your outfit makes you look like a cat? KISAME! Why are you always so nice...I shall help, i dare you to makeout with tachi for 10 mins hmm...*throws in cookies and quickly glomps you all* June x

Itachi: -looks at blonde, curly wig- wtf? Zakura: She didn’t specify what KING of wig. –Evil smileItachi: -puts on- Ugh, I make an awful blonde… -throws offKiba: -playfully put on Shino’s head- Eugh, that looks terrible… Shino: Thanks so much… Kankuro: So? –snuggles next to Gaara- Meow. –LicksGaara: -confusedKimimaro: Let’s not do that, K? –Takes Gaara away from KankuroKankuro: Dammit…

Itachi: Oh now, we’re just— Kisame: OK!!! –glomps Itachi on the pieces of bed left after Ed’s anger and starts kissing and groping Itachi like crazyOro/Dei: -snack on cookies and watchShino: I wish you wouldn't try to change Kiba so much... you can't change the one you love... watch! Kiba: this is for you! (gives him a deep dish pie the size of a hot tub) Deidara: do you brush the teeth on your extra mouths?

Shino: Really? Seems to be working ok for me. Kiba: PIE!!!! –dives into pieShino: -sighs and goes over to grab some pieNaruto: I want some!! Kiba: NO! If anyone wants some of my pie they have to blow me for it! Shino: -twitch- what? Kiba: Umm…my way of saying no one gets any? Shino: Right… Deidara: -while eating cookies still…with stolen pie on them- Oh yeah, of course, I couldn’t go having decay on those little babies, it would affect my art. yeah Sasori: coughnotartcough. Deidara: -puppy eyes- Why are you so mean, yeah? Sasori: I’m not. I’m evil. There’s a difference. Evil is the art version of mean. Like the difference between you and me. Deidara: -blinks and turns to Oro- Should I be offended, yeah? Orochimaru: It sounded mean, whatever he meant. Deidara: MEANIE!! –sobs against Oro’s shoulderHT: ED! amber: this is so gay... HT: yeah... does anyone want pudding? amber: is ed a virgin? HT: random question, but i wanna know too! also, who there doesnt hate me?

amber: nobody. now shut up and get me some fucking chocolate cake. HT: not this again...

Ed: ACK! –Hides behind KurenaiKurenai: Why hide behind me? Ed: most coverage? Kiba: Oooh, bad idea. –watches Ed sail by after being slammed in the head by a skilletOrochimaru: I’ll take some! Deidara: Yum! Yeah! Ed: I…uh…-shakes head from nausea- um, no. Neji: Who’d you lose it to? Ed: Ah…no one. Itachi: A relative? Ed: NO! SICKO! Itachi: Yes, yes I am. Sakura: I don’t hate you very much, HT, I just wish you wouldn’t capture Sasuke… Gaara: You are full of youth! How could I hate that? Kimimaro: If he was normal right now he’d hate you…a lot. Kankuro: Yeah he would. Itachi: Ooh, are we bossing HT around again? Fun times. I want STEAK! Deidara: Steak, yeah? Itachi: Yeah, steak, I’m hungry for some good meat. Orochimaru: -pats hips- well, come get some. Lucifel: I like you HT! Naruto: Well…it depends…how much ramen will I get for liking you?

Kiba: -es out from too much pie consumptionShino: -sighs and drags him out of pie dishKyuubi: sorry for not including you in that one question to prove i'm sorry here (gives big screen tv with surround sound and many r and x rated movies) enjoy! everyone else: so you hate me eh? that's so sad because i went through alot of trouble to get all this food and clothes. (points to a pile of clean clothing and another pile of healthy food and junk food alike) MiniDeath.

Kyuubi: Well, I’m not much of a movie but…-checks out movies- I guess you’re forgiven. No liked, but forgiven. –goes to watch movies, dragging Naruto with himNaruto: Why are you taking me?! Kyuubi: I want company and you need to be desensitized. Naruto; Are those sexy movies? Kyuubi: Some of them. Naruto: I’m in. Kiba: Food…-reaches weaklyShino: You still have a quarter of a pie, calm down, we’re good. Orochimaru: CLOTHES!! That means dresses! Without Ayame we wont get as nice of ones anymore! I want these! I like you! Sasori: Lies. Orochimaru: but it’s a NICE lie. Sasori: …right… Orochimaru: You’re damn right, right. First of all -drags and throws Kabuto next to SakuraKabu/Saku: I am SICK of you too denying ur freaking feelings EVERY chapter. NO MORE. This is the last time. If u guys the test I'll no longer think u two like eachother. AND NO FREAKING SWITCHING OUT OF IT! THE TEST: You two go into the closet thingy.First of all you have to hold each others hands while in there. Then you have to kiss once. Then say with a straight face, "I have absolutely no feelings for you" to eachother. Then after lean in once more but do not kiss, let go and walk out of the closet. Got it? Good. Everyone else: Are they in there? Yeah? Okay. Well I set up secret cameras (you all can watch on the big screen of Itachi's if you want too) in there so if you want get some action on this pay attention: The Bet Pool: a. They wont be able to let go and walk away from eachother. b. They won't be able to finish saying the words they're supposed to. c. They won't be able to stop the FIRST kiss. d. They'll be able to do the whole thing. The Prize: For everyone who gets the answer correct, they'll get the once-in-a-lifetime chance of

becoming THE FAN. Which means you get to ask questions/dare the other people who either didn’t vote or lost the bet. HAVE FUN!

Sakura: First of all, that’s not going to— Eyeball: ….URRRRRRRRPPPP!! –spits out Kabuto and he gets fan-dragged over to SakuraKabuto: …wtf? Lucifel: Eyeball got indigestion, what ya gonna do? Gaara: What about my youthful comrade? Zakura: guess he’s still stuck. Lee: Kabuto? Kabuto? Temari: Just you and me now kid… Lee: Aww man. Temari: -twitch- what’s that supposed to mean? Lee: huh? Temari: -fan-slapZakura: Anyway, yeah, rules are as the fan stated ‘em. GO. Kabuto: I’m immune! Zakura: -grabs Gaara’s unused neon blue potion and shove down Kabuto’s throat- There. No longer immune. Kabuto: What? That’s not right! Zakura: yeah it is, it negates the effects of the last potion you took. Kimimaro: Why didn’t we use that on Gaara?! Zakura: Cause you’re all retarded and didn’t think of it? Kimimaro: …-gapesZabuza: I have a blue potion if you want.

Kimimaro: Well, at least he wont be like Lee anymore… Gaara: But I enjoy my youth! Kimimaro: But this isn’t healthy and will probably kill your youth faster, Gaara: -grabs and drinks- Guh, what an un-youthful flavor, like feet. Kimimaro: …is that it? Gaara: -thinks- yes. Zakura: That was a DARK blue potion, dumbass. Kimimaro: And all it does is taste like feet? Zakura: Yeah, that’s about right. Kimimaro: …what the hell. Zabuza: That was totally worth giving away. Haku: I have no more boobs! Zabuza: Why not? Haku: Cuz I’m cuter this way. –smilesZabuza: fair enough. –tacklesKabuto: I…I don’t want to…I want to it! Zaku/Lucy: NO!!! Kabuto: Eh…. Sakura: -sitting in silent horrorZakura: Get on with it. Kabuto: Let’s go Sakura. –grabs her hand and pulls her to the closet and closes the doorZakura: right on. Place your bets. A: Ita/Dei/Nej/Hak/Hina

B: Kure/Sas/Kimi/Shin/Gaa C: Kiba/Jira/Zabu/Kank D: Shikamaru Not voting: Naruto/Kyuubi/Manda Zakura: Orochimaru, why didn’t you vote? Orochimaru: I say that Kabuto will be able to do everything, and Sakura will get half-way through saying the one bit, and then Kabuto will take pity on her and they’ll have steamy make-outs. Itachi: Can I change my vote? Zakura: No, now let’s watch. Kyuubi: No thanks, I’d rather watch this. Naruto: -looks overKyuubi: -pulls him back-They stand facing each other in the far corner, hands intertwined, staring at each other deeply.Sakura: Umm…nice new glasses. Kabuto: …Let’s just do this, Sakura. Sakura: -gulps and closes her eyes, leaning forwardKabuto: -kisses for three seconds and leans back- I have absolutely no feelings for you. –ultra coldEveryone(beside Shika): BOOOOO!!!! Sakura: -frozen in horror- … Kabuto: Say it, Sakura. Sakura: I…I have…-lip quiversKabuto: Would you stop being such a damn annoying whimp and just say it already?

Everyone: -GASPSakura: I have absolutely no feelings… Kabuto: -raises eyebrowsSakura: …for you… Kabuto: -closes eyes for a moment, and then leans in.Sakura: -slapsKabuto: O.O Everyone: O.O Sakura: I’m leaving. –Stalks out of closet-TV turns offEveryone: =O Shikamaru: -ahemEveryone: -turns and stares at ShikamaruNaruto: How’d you know? Shikamaru: Basic logic. Either one of them has no feelings for the other, and therefore the atmosphere wouldn’t be too intense to keep them from completely. Or, the more likely scenario, one or both of them would realize and/or think that to it their feelings would be a fruitless endeavor that would only lead to a lot of pain because they both have greater cause to be loyal too, and therefore would force the whole thing to go through. Sakura: -coming out of closet- Or, one and/or both of them would realize that the man is the biggest asshole in this whole fucking room and he’s not worth the emotional investment because I fucking know better by now than to fall for bastards with a fucked up need for Orochimaru’s perverted power. Orochimaru: Ouch. Zakura: -stands up and walks over to SakuraSakura: Don’t even start, bitch, I’m not about to—

Zakura: -hugsSakura: -shockedEveryone; -CONFUSEDZakura: That…was fucking awesome. Sakura: …-collapses against Zakura’s shoulder, shaking slightly but not cryingZakura: That was quite the speech. You’re getting better, kiddo… Neji: I should have just waited and voted whichever one Shikamaru chose…dammit. Kiba: …dude, you’re so weird. Neji: What’s weird about not wanting to lose? Kiba: Hello?! Epic moment happening here?! Neji: Does it affect me? No. So what the fuck ever, Naruto: -still CONFUSEDOrochimaru: It’s not my fault I’m sexier than her…-snifflesItachi: That was so much fun…I almost forgot life sucks right now. Kisame: We can make out again. Itachi: no. Kisame: daaaaammit. Your going to kill me ^_^ but seriously I had to do something while I was on holiday... 1) Does anyone agree that Sasuke looks scarily feminine when he’s in cursed seal form? 2) Jiraiya I have decided that you are actually quite hot when your acting serious ^_^ BIG HUG though your bangs make it look like your face I square 3) Throws in Pakun (kakashi’s dog) 4) Jiraiya do you wear eyeliner? It looks like you do… do you borrow Gaara’s eyeliner? 5) Lee did you steal Gaara’s eyebrows and dye them to make yours bigger? or 6) Gaara did you shave off your eyebrows? And if so why? 7) Jiraiya did you steal Kiba’s families face paint to get the red lines? 8) Why did you become a hermit and would you ever eat frog? 9) Naruto why do you never call Jiraiya your Sensai? 10) Itachi what are and how do you use those hologram things? You could sell the knowledge to the carbon footprint people and make millions! 11) Sakura I would like to help you break out of the world of depression ^_^ Here is a cosplay box Marudono is going to choose who you cosplay and he can make you change as much as possible over the next three instalments? Episodes? Chapters? Dates with destiny lol? 12) Does anyone else ever get the urge to rub Naruto’s head with a balloon and see just how much bigger his hair gets?

13) How come we never see anyone fall on his or her face while tree jumping and daydreaming? Sakura you’d be a prime candidate. 14) Naruto WHY are you SUCH a GOSSIP? 15) Jiraiya how did you get magic hair? 16) Is it just me? Or does Sasame in episode 137 remind you of Hinata apart from the weird hairstyle? 17) Can a substitution Justu be used on a kage bushin? 18) Naruto I feel it is my duty to tell you how cute you look without your forehead protector even if you’d never willingly take it off 19) Kagerou reminds me of Kimimaro…. Specially since they’re both so pale and are only in very few episodes XD 20) Kabuto you were so showing off in front of Sakura instead of attacking her in 139 am I right? Sorry I saw the next episode it wasn’t you lol 21) Are the Fuuma clan minions of the Jiraiya cult? He-Yan

Zakura: Lucifel, Wtf is this? Lucifel: …questions…-innocent grinZakura: Are we answering them all? Lucifel: -sigh- no…just the ones in bold. Zakura: Good. Fucking He-Yan. Naruto: -shakes off confusion- Cuz sensai ain’t a word, HA!! Jiraiya: You know what she meant. –smacks- And why don’t you call me sensei? I deserve the respect. Naruto: No you don’t. You’re just a pervert. Itachi: It’s because if Jiraiya’s just a pervert Naruto doesn’t have too feel as bad about enjoying it when Jiraiya touches him at night. Naruto: Yeah! Wait—what?! YOU TOUCH ME!?! Jiraiya: …no, Naruto, I don’t. –glares at ItachiOrochimaru: was that a “what a fucked up thing to say” glare, or a “how dare you reveal my secret” glare. Jiraiya: The latter. Kiba: What the fuck about a ladder? Shino: -smacks for bad punKiba: Sorry, couldn’t help it. Itachi: Not until now but…does anyone have a balloon?!

Neji: I have a condom! Kiba: -snrkItachi: Good enough. –Grabs and blows into it- AWW FUCK! You could have told me it was used!! Neji: -shrugs- I figured it was obvious. Itachi: Who’s is this? Neji: Orochimaru’s. Itachi: …ok then. –continuesNaruto: If you rub that on my head I’ll kill you!! –runs behind KurenaiItachi: K, I’ll just try it on Ed. Ed: O.o –runs over to Naruto and starts trying to pull him out- GET OUT HERE YOU STUPID KID!! I AM NOT GOIG TO TAKE THIS FOR YOUR FUCKING SAKE!! I DON’T EVEN BELONG HERE!! Naruto: NO!!! NOOOO!!! NEVAR!!! Kiba: Oh, it happens. Just not during dramatic scenes, y’know? It just doesn’t work. But if you see Hinata on the average day…oh man, it’s HILARIOUS. Hinata: Kiba…-blushZakura: Yeah, Sakura’s done it before, teehee. Sakura: Screw you. Zakura: That’s worse than incest, babe. Sakura: -.Jiraiya: It’s a secret! Orochimaru: He got shocked by a pikachu and was never the same again. Jiraiya: I hate you… Kiba: DUDE!! AWESOME!!!

Jiraiya: And no…I’m a hermit. We don’t have minions…but that would be awesome. – daydreamsKiba: -smacks face with treeJiraiya: WTF?! Kiba: It seemed appropriate! Jiraiya: BUT HOW DID YOU GET A TREE?! Kiba: -shrugs- the necessity creates the means. Shino: …what? Ok this is 4 everybody but Sakura and Kabuto! Everybody: What do u think Kabuto's and Zakura kid would look like if the ever had one?

Sakura: -horrorZakura: Wow…was worse timing POSSIBLE?! Neji: Could have been the question right after it I guess… Zakura: I guess... Orochimaru: Adorable! Like Sakura but with a smaller forehead, longer nose and glasses. Sakura: My forehead is fine… Zakura: What, no fuck you? You still have work to do dear… To the rest (except Kyuubi) I gave fraps, cookies and chocolate. If he tries nicking some of it use this (pushes in chakra resistant cage full of spikes.) You wanted to turn into a pokemon Kiba? Here (claps hands) You can change into any pokemon you want for one chapter. To Deidara and Sasori I give lots of hugs and kisses. Ciao!

Kyuubi: Excuse me? –tears cage apart with his bear hands, chakra free, and throws the pieces into the pool…and conks the joker on the head- Now I want some chocolate. Kurenai: No. Kyuubi: What? Kurenai: I. Said. NO!! –demonic voice and fiery eyes-

Kyuubi: …I can settle for Cookies. Don’t ever underestimate my raw strength WITHOUT chakra, bitch. Kiba: WOOT!! –turns into an arkanine- ARK! –turns into mightyena- MIGHTY!! –turns into growlithe- LITHE!! –goes crazy running around having waaaay too much funSasori: NO! GET AWAY!! Deidara: YAY! –accepts happilySasori: -dives at eyeball, ricochets off, and then the eyeball flings its tongue out and gobbles him upOrochimaru: …hugs aren’t THAT bad…geez… Sasori: Whew, safe. Lee: O.o Temari: Mrow. Orochimaru: Kabuto still no out of the closet…maybe I should go check on him. Kimimaro: -blocks way- Give him some time, Orochimaru-sama, he’ll be fine… -Tears splash on the closet floorAsk Sakura 40 Lucifel: FORTY!! POW!! Can you believe it? I am SO AWESOME!! Sakura: This is going to take YEARS off my life. Zakura: Eh, don’t worry about it, you’ve got two lives to live anyway…yours and mine. Sakura: And that makes a lot of sense. Zakura: you fucking bet it does. Eyeball: -spits Sasori back outSakura: Wtf? Lucifel: the eyeball couldn’t take the wood…teeheehee

Sasori: -glaresHands Sakura/Zakura each a pitcher of Midori Margaritas. I just need a tally -- everyone, not including yourself, vote for the two people you think would or are the cutest couple in the room. The cutest couple has to kiss. ASTA LA BYEBYE!

Zakura: Oooh…yum. Come on, kiddo, you can have one of these with me for what you did in the last chapter. But just one. Sakura: I…yeah…-she and Zakura go and relax on old pool chairs sipping margheritasLucifel: Oh yeah. Back-to-school theme for the chapter. Sakura: Back to school theme?! What the hell!! Kurenai: How does a back to school theme even work? -The room is now set up like a classroom, with rows of desks (which everyone is forced to sit at) with a blackboard at the far end and a teacher’s desk where Sakura and Zakura stand in full teacher regalia, still sipping margaritasKurenai: Ah…this is ridiculous! These outfits are demeaning! Itachi: Have you SEEN what you usually where? Kurenai: That’s different. It’s the whole pedophilia-inspiring thing that’s wrong with this. Orochimaru: but its so much FUN! Kiba: Why is Sakura the teacher?! Zakura: Cause Sakura’s the ‘main character’ Kiba: and YOU?! Zakura: I count as Sakura. Kiba: No fair… Zakura: YOU WANT DETENTION BITCH?! Kiba: …no… Zakura: Good. Orochimaru: -raises hand- Teacher! Teacher!

Zakura: Yes? Orochimaru: Kabuto’s still not out yet, can I go get him? Zakura: No. You guys would shag first. Kimimaro please go get Kabuto out of the closet. Kiba/Naru/Gaa: -snickerKimimaro: Yes ma’am… Sakura: -gulpsZakura: hey, you’re doubly in control now. Calm down, we’re good. Kyuubi: -loosens his tie, musses his hair, unbuttons the top bit of his shirt and puts his feet up on his deskNaruto: Sakuraaaa!! Kyuubi’s breaking the rules! Kyuubi: Number one rule everywhere—Kyuubi can do whatever the fuck he wants. Zakura: Pretty much. Naruto: Man. Kimimaro: Kabuto? You coming to class? Kabuto: Oh, is that why I’m in the get-up all of a sudden? Kimimaro: Yup…you coming? Kabuto: …how’s Sakura? Kimimaro: Did you hear her speech? Kabuto: ah…yeah… Kimimaro: Still like that. Kabuto: Oh. Dammit… Kimimaro: Why did you do it Kabuto? Kabuto: It’s better this way. I love Orochimaru; I have to break her heart sooner or later.

Kimimaro: -sighs and loosens his tie- Kabuto…I know how much you love Orochimaru, but don’t you think you should try out a normal relationship, just once? Kabuto: That would be cruel. Orochimaru always comes first for me. Kimimaro: In the larger scheme of things, sure, but this is the one chance you have to sit back and say fuck it to the rest of the world and maybe, for just a little while, have something normal and healthy… Kabuto: Who says I even want her anyway? Kimimaro: -walks up, smiles sadly and brushes Kabuto’s cheek- I have watched you for a long time Kabuto, and I know every subtle nuance of every expression. Kabuto: Creepy much? Kimimaro: Heh, the point is, I know you Kabuto. And the way you look at her, mixed with the fact that your eyes are currently bloodshot from crying— Kabuto: -rubs eyes- are not. Kimimaro: Just think about it. Let’s go to class. Kabuto: Eick…fine… Zakura: -as they come out- About damn time, ass holes. Kimimaro: Sorry. Zakura: Anyway, I’m gonna give the couples. We’ll pick four just to make it easy. Couple number A is— Shikamaru: number A? Zakura: don’t be a smart-ass. A is Orochimaru and Jiraiya. Orochimaru –crosses fingersZakura: B is Haku and Naruto. Zabuza: Wait—WHAT?! Haku: -teehee-

Naruto: -shocked and excitedZakura: C is Shikamaru and Choji. Shikamaru: Choji’s not HERE. Nor are we a couple. Zakura: Fuck off, kid, and couple D is Gaara and Lee. Orochimaru: What about Kabuto and Sakura? Kabuto: -hides under deskZakura: no. Orochimaru: What about Kyuubi and Naruto?! What about Hinata and Naruto? Zakura: IN THE CORNER! –Slams dunce cap onto headOrochimaru: awww…-goes to corner.Zakura: All those in favor of couple a? Oro/Ita/Gaa(who Is totally confused)/Kure/Dei Zakura: B? Zabuza: -glares at everyoneKyuubi: -raises hand to be defiantNaruto: -starts to raise and stops after looking at ZabuzaHaku: -raises hand, gigglingZabuza: -gaspKyuubi: Oh come on, they’re cute. I’ll keep Zabuza off anyone he might want to kill. Naru/Haku/Zaku/Sas/Neji Zakura: C? Kiba/Shin/Kabu/Kank Zakura: And D?

Kimi/Oro/Zabu/Saku/Jira/Shika/Hina Zakura: Right on. Gaara, kiss Lee. Gaara: But Lee’s not here…and why would I? Kimimaro: It’ll help your youth. Gaara: …how? Kimimaro: By, umm, utilizing your sexual energy? Gaara: That doesn’t make any sense. Zakura: Well, whenever Lee get’s out here…wait a minute, Oro, you can’t vote twice. You can’t even vote once cause you’re in the corner. Orochimaru: Aww…well, one of my picks won anyway. Zakura: Nope, everyone you vote for is now negated. That maens the winner is Naru/Haku. Haku: teehee. Zabuza: -twitch- Naruto… Haku: -kisses Naruto adorably across his deskNaruto: -blushes furiously and discreetly kisses backHaku: Aww…Zabuza’s much better. Zabuza: -pulls Haku into his lap and hold his protectively, fumingZakura: Students are to remain in their seats. Zabuza: I don’t give a fuck if— Zakura: IN THEIR SEATS!! –Everyone is in their seats again, with their butts glued to the seatAlright, I have a nickname It's ero-sennin. What the fuck did I do to deserve the name ero-sennin. I'm not a fucking hermit! What even is a hermit? ~ero-ero

Jiraiya: But that’s MY nick-name!

Zakura: -cracks ruler on desk- NO TALKING UNLESS YOU RAISE YOUR HAND FIRST. Deidara: -raises handZakura: Yes? Deidara: A hermit is a person who lives on their own in a secluded place, usually because they did something bad so they don’t want to see people anymore, yeah. Zakura: You kind of lied about that last bit, but good enough. And Ero means ‘pervert’ so you’re probably a perverted little girl. Which is ok, you’re in good company. –grinsKabuto deserves less teasing from the rest of you... he can't help it Maru-dono has brainwashed him with his smexiness Actually... Kabuto where would you be now if not with Maru-dono... or in place for a matter of fact Plus I would like to compliment Luci on her loophole through my questions I am very impressed He-Yan

Kabuto: Exactly! Thank you! Zakura: I can make you sit out too. We have FOUR corners. Kabuto: -sits with his mouth sealed shutZakura: You may answer the question, Kabuto. Kabuto: I don’t know. Probably still working for Sasori… Naruto: YOU WERE WORKING FOR SASORI!?! Zakura: Later in the plot-line kiddo. Kabuto: So yeah, I’d just be in the akatsuki. Deidara: -raises handZakura: Yes? Deidara: He looks cute in an akatsuki coat, yeah. :3 Sakura: Thanks so much for that…-rubs foreheadLucifel: Thanks for the compliment. Sakura: Stop putting random compliments to yourself in here. That’s not what this for! Lucifel: Sorry.

Kisame, are you a half shark? if so How the fuck did that happen? and i dnt mean the fricking birds and the bees, i mean how the hell did a human and shark have sex, its a bit whacked out dnt ya think? Oh and for the akatsuki gang, what is zetsu? a chessboard or a venus flytrap? oh and Naruto did you know your ears stick out? *chucks in a pink wig for tachi* XD June x Kisame: No…well…maybe, I’m not sure. Itachi: I’ve heard of dolphins raping divers, but not sharks. They usually just eat them… maybe you’re really a dolphin. Kisame: I AM NOT A DOLOPHIN! Zakura: -stabs him with a pencil- No yelling in class!! Kisame: OW! RIGHT UP MY GILL!! Naruto: You seriously have a gill? Kisame: Well, you have whiskers… Naruto: I DO?! Kisame: … Itachi: yeah! They’re totally growing! You’ve got like, a full beard! Naruto: SWEET! Sakura: Settle down class. Deidara: Zetsu is what happened when a venus fly trap took two chess-pieces and compacted them until they melded into one. Yeah. Itachi: It’s true! Deidara: Yeah! Yeah! Naruto: -gasp, covers ears- WHAT?! –sniffles- really? Zakura: Yes, you have dumbo ears. Naruto: O.O,

Itachi: Wtf? Zakura: You have to wear that. Itachi: WHAT? WHY?! Zakura: Cause we teachers say. Sakura: -raises margarita glass in agreementItachi: -puts wig on backwards to hide his shameShikamaru: I ORDER YOU TO TELL EVERYONE WHAT IT IS THAT YOU HAVE TO WORK FOR!! And you can't it on, because it's an ORDER not a dare! Kabuto: How DARE you hurt Sakura?! I'LL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU! Orochimaru: I twisted my nail, and now I have a bruise UNDER my nail and it hurts. Do you know how to make it... not hurt? Ed: -grins evilly, jumps Ed and kisses him long and ionately- Yummie. -winks at himShikamaru: money. I have to work for money. Sakura: But that’s not the thing you were talking about before… Shikamaru: She didn’t say it had to be. Sakura: Wow… Naruto: Why are you so smart?! No fair! Kabuto: -sinks under his desk againOrochimaru: -writes note and es note to JiraiyaJiraiya: -reads note- …wtf? Zakura: JIRAIAYA!! Jiraiya: What? Zakura: Why don’t you come up here and read that to the whole class? Jiraiya: Um…it’s kind of… Zakura: READ IT!! Jiraiya: guh…-walks up to front of the class and starts mumbling-

Zakura: So everyone can hear it!! Jiraiya: -clears throat and blushes and reads blandly- Hey you sexy thing, lets see how many places I can get my tongue in at once. I’ll bring Sasuke, you bring Naruto and we’ll have a hella good time… -shuffles back to his seatZakura: I don’t think so. You and Oro, get up here. Orochimaru: -prances up to the front of classNaruto: -sitting in horrorZakura: You will both write “I will not sexy notes in class” A hundred times. Orochimaru: Kay! –goes to the blackboardZakura: ON EACH OTHER. Orochimaru: -smiles- Are you serious? Zakura: Keep it decent, but it has to be on skin. Jiraiya: -confused and horrifiedSakura: Umm…what kind of punishment is this? Zakura: The fun kind. You know you wish Iruka had taught this way. Kabuto: -sinksKimimaro: Kabuto, you can’t sink any lower, dear. Kabuto: I can TRY. Orochimaru: If something on your body hurts…do something sexy with it, that’s how I fix things. –writes on Jiraiya’s foreheadEd: HRMPPGFFF!! –spits profusely- EICK! GIRL-SPIT!! Orochimaru: ED’S GAY!!! Ed: After Winry, who wouldn’t be?! Dei/Oro/Ita: -singsonging-ED’S GAY!! ED’S GAY!! ED’S GAY!!

Sakura: Guys…guys… Zakura: ED’S GAY!! ED’S GAY!! Sakura: Gah! Don’t encourage them. Ed’s Self-esteem –falls bloody and mottled to the floorSasori: can you do the skeleton dance from those classic cartoons? I was thinking, since you've got puppet ts... Deidara: what was the best art you ever created? Kyuubi: can you boost Naruto's chakra to OVER 90?

Sasori: …no… Deidara: Yes he can, yeah! One time we got him drunk on pine-sol furniture cleaner… cause that’s what make wooden men drink…anyway, he totally got smashed and did the dance, yeah! It was great yeah! Sasori: Ok, THAT was talking out of term and you didn’t snap at him! Zakura: I’m a teacher, I’m allowed to play favoritism and be totally unfair. Sasori: …grr. Zakura: And now I need a student to demonstrate the skeleton dance…oh! Only Sasori can! Sasori: You bitch. Zakura: Don’t talk to your teacher that way. Sasori: -goes up in front of Oro (who is laughing because the markers tickle) and does a speed version of the dance- happy? Deidara: YEAH!! Zakura: You can sit down now. Sasori: -stalks back to his seat and slouches. Deidara: Uhm…my orgasm the first time Sasori banged me. That was an amzing momentary explosion. Sasori: ARE WE DONE PLAYING HUMILIATE SASORI YET?!?! Deidara: Yeah. :3

Kyuubi: I CAN. But I’d rather just sit around with my, what, 1,000+ chakra. –smirksNaruto: Aww… Orochimaur: NO CLOTHES/FOOD FOR YOU! D:< (gives the clothes and food to Hinata) i know you'll share it but i don't care! Zakura: can i hug you? p.s. (throws in peter pan) MiniDeath Orochimaru: Aww… Hinata: Oh yay! Zakura: No changing until after school. Hinata: Ok. –puts stuff in deskZakura: Euhm…sure, you’re cool. –stabs with pencil in the middle of the hugBuwahahahahah. STABBED FAN!!! Itachi: No fair!! I wanna stab a fan!! Zakura: Only I can, and only with pencils. Peter: HEY EVERYBODY!! THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS!!! Everyone: -throws pencils at Peter, stabbing him in eyes and neckHaku/Hina: Aww… Sakura: Is he…bleeding pixie dust? Haku: DUDE!! –runs to roll in pixie dust.Zabuza: Oh god… Haku: -starts floating- OMG!! ONE OF MY UNATTAINABLE GOALS IS ATTAINED!! Zabuza: damn it… Naruto: what thoughts are you thinking?! Haku: I’m supposed to think somnething special? I’m just thinking about Zabuza as usual…

Zabuza: :) A.H.S...-Gags and flails, running to the bathroom.- Leara: -Blinks.- Umm...That's one of the reasons we didn't reveiw last chappy. Morana's had morning sickness. -Shrugs.Anyhow...Sasori: You haven't seen Daimos near there yet? He said he was going to kill you. -Glomps and kisses Naruto!- I still think your cute!! Even if I'm way older than you! ^_^! All the Akatsuki that are there, Leader says since you guys are gone we have to wait till next year for the yaoi Orgy Festival. Sorry boys! Zakura: HAH! Thanks for teaching this group abstinence. Orochimaru: What do you mean? We’re men, we can’t get pregnant. –lifts shirt for Jiraiya to write onZakura: Oh CAN’T you? Kiba: -instantly stops kissing Shino across the deskShino: Oh come on, nothing’s gonna happen… Sakura: Stop pushing Kiba too far Shino. And stop kissing him. Shino: Hey, it was Kiba’s idea to go all the way in the first place. Itachi: HAHA!! YOU’RE PREGGED!!! Sasori: Daimos? Oh yeah…well, at least he’s trying to kill something. Deidara: He takes after you a lot, yeah. Sasori: -proud smileNaruto: O.o I’m soooo scared….make it go away. Zakura: Keep it up Leara. Naruto: Hate you. Ita/Dei/Oro/Kisa: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Sasori: Why do you care, Oro? Orochimaru: I was always snuck in by Dei… Deidara: Yeah, yeah. :) Itachi: I thought there were too many people…of course, in an orgy who cares?

Kabuto: Oh, Orochimaru-sama… Ginger: FREE SEX. Okay, now that I have your attention.. Bell: Hey, guys. How are you all? You know what I hate? When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is! why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?! Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna kick their asses! Ginger: Get some fucking chocolate right now, then you can talk. Bell: -sigh- Whatever. Just who's on bottom, bitch. Ginger: Right. Anyways.. I'm not sure what to ask.. so.. Naruto-kun. You're adorable, did you know that? -gives electrical whip-Use it wisely. It's indestructable.. Bell: Here's your damn chocolate! -throwsGinger: Thank you. :)!! Kyuubi-kun, didn't you say you felt like having chocolate? Well, here you go. -gives few hundred crates- I don't do illegal things for that.. Heheheh. Don't do drugs, kids. They're expensive, that's why D: And here's a taser to fend off Kurenai. ...And some firecrackers, complete with matches. (In all honesty I just like seeing shit get blow up :3!!) Bell: Zakura-sama, do you think it'd be alright if we took someone to Vegas with us? It can be anyone, we don't mind. If that's okay, anyone who wants to can tell me now. We'll be there for a few days. Oh, almost forgot.. here's some stuff you might like.. -gives magazines with pictures of girls on the cover..winksGinger: I feel like I'm going to be sick.. stupid hangovers.. stupid party.. can someone give me a hug? Please? I'll grant a wish.. -re- Oh, here's some alchohol. Share with Lucifel-chan! -rubs wolf ears tiredly.. proceeds to scratch Bell behind cat ears- Gomen for taking up your time. Bell: See you later... and why the hell do we have animal features? Ginger: I'm.. not so sure.. Kinda like it. Hehheh. -smacks Bell across the face with bushy tail- Hellyes. - Ginger and Bell

Itachi: Why isn’t this edited? Lucifel: Because they’re cool. Don’t get used to it gals. Zakura: YES! We have a lesbian couple! Sakura: We’ve had lesbians before… Zakura: Yeah, but these girls are a couple. Sakura: -sigh- A.H.S. and ‘Leara’? Zakura: Doesn’t count, she came in much later. This is like HT and Amber but sexy. AND they have animal bits. Meow. Itachi: Instead of annoying as hell…oh no, still are. Deidara: Meanie, yeah. Haku: Wheeee!! –zooms by trailing fairy dust over everyoneKyuubi: ACHOO!! Fucking hell, I’m allergic to this shit. –face gets blotchy- fuck. I need my medicine…where is it? Itachi: Well, it’s always in the last place you look. –sticks tongue out at Bell-

Naruto: -whacks Kyuubi with whip- XD Kyuubi: FUCKING SHIT!! Naruto: hehehe…-puts in deskKyuubi: -glares at everyone…but can’t figure out who did because most people are distracted by Haku- Kyuubi as soon as my head gets un-stuffed you’ll all die…hey chocolate… Kurenai: -dives across the desks and grabs it- CHOCOLATE!!! Kyuubi: godammit, woman, I have allergies!! Kurenai: I HAVE AN ADDICTION!! Kyuubi: GO TO FUCKING REHAB!! Kurenai: NEVAR!! Kiba: …I’m scared… Shino/Hina: -nod in terrorZakura: Sadly no you— Kyuubi: I’ll go. –stands and leavesZakura: I hate him… Lucifel: If you meet the DeSimones, say hi!! I’m related to them. ^_^ Naruto: You have relations in VEGAS?! Lucifel: Hell yes, I went to church with them! Sakura: In…Vegas? Lucifel: Yes. I infiltrate everywhere. Their church will soon fall. Muwahahaha. 1- Sakura, I have enclosed a picture that shows sasuke kissing naruto which proves that he is gay so... What do you think about that? 2- Orochimaru, If you could see any 1 person nude who would it be and why? Shove's a fridge in there... ~~Taki-San~~ Orochimaru: It was probably Tsunade again.

Jiraiya: That makes no sense at ALL…I’m done. Orochimaru: Me too. –they go back to their seatsSakura: I er…ewww… Naruto: Is that from the graduating day? That was really an accident…I promise… really… Sakura: EUGH!! EWW!! NOO!! Orochimaru: Umm…Tsunade…it would make me giggle. Jiraiya: -droolsZakura: -snaps ruler- NO DROOLING ON THE DESKS!! IN THE CORNER!! And write “I will not get saliva on the desks” one hundred times…on Naruto… Naruto: O.o Jiraiya: Eugh… Kiba: FRIDGE!!!!! –lunges- damn, it’s empty. Neji: -shoves Kiba into the fridge and closes door- Not anymore!! Ahahahahaah!! Shino: Bastard. Gaara: Aren’t you…ah…gonna get him out? Shino: -shrugs- eventually. Lee: I’m boooored. Temari: I’m in a skirt. I PLEATED skirt. Eww. Lee: I’m in a TIE!! How unyouthful. –poutsTemari: hey…do you hear something? Lee: It sounds like the growling of a generic evil monster. Lee: How would that get here?

Temari: It’s probably just a hybrid of a lot of reviews gone wrong. Rejected chakra and whatnot. Lee: Well! I shall vanquish it with my YOUTH!! Temari: Good luck. Monster: RWAR!!! HT: fine. orochimaru, deidara, and sakura get pudding. amber: ok, HT, make itachi some steak. HT: WHAT THE HELL!? oh well, lol one of EJ’s ears are bigger then the other. and sakura, i capture sasuke when i wanna capture sasuke. gaara, im sorry i gave you that potion. i thought i was on your list. autumn: wtf... where am I? amber: hey autumn. sasuke isnt here. and EJ is going to be killed and eaten. autumn: OMG! sasuke where? and by the way, dont kill my beast! amber: right... wanna ask anyone a question since your here? autumn: uh, sure! gaara, do you like gai? Oro/Dei: PUDDING!! Sakura: LUNCH BREAK!! -they are suddenly in a cafeteria-type areaKiba: -pounds on the inside of the fridge- I WANNA EAT!! Shino: -looks at weirdo cafeteria food- No you don’t… Lucifel: Dude! My ears are lopsided too! Zakura: no one cares! Lucifel: Aww. Gaara: My list? Itachi: You probably were… Gaara: what was my list of? Kimimaro: Err…nothing… Gaara: -confused- Gai? Gai is awesome! He has faith in me!! Kimimaro: No…no he doesn’t…

Gaara: Yes he does, I it. I know my memories are true. Kimimaro: this is so fucked up… Shikamaru, I just saw the wierdest pairing ever, you and Hinata. What is your reaction to this? Naruto...You can do the Kage Bunshin No Jutsu and you can also henge into a girl. Have you ever thought about giving new meaning to the phrase "go f*$# yourself"

Shikamaru: My reaction? Is no. Never. Hinata: -blushItachi: Because you’re gay. Shikamaru: And she’s too girly. She’s really sweet and all, but not my type. Neji: So you prefer to be dominated. Shikamaru: -sigh- no… Naruto: Umm…no? Zakura: Narutooo. Naruto: -sigh- yes…I lost my virginity to myself… Everyone: LOLOLOLOLOLOL!! Neji: I’m sure everyone has. I mean technically that’s just masturbation… Itachi: Dude! DUDE! If you fuck too hard do they do the poof thing? Hahahaha. Deidara: HAHAYEAH!! Naruto: -dies of humiliation...I'm sorry, now I have TWO chapters I'm too lazy to type... Anyways, I started school again, and I'm taking a crapload of highschool level courses. And I'm an Eith Grader. Itachi-sama: I truly ire you, but touch my muse and I whip your ass. Sakura-san: Good for you. You don't need another painful relationship. Don't give in. EVER. Please. Kiba-san: ...I found your mother and sister! They want to know How you are. Any messages? Orochimaru-sama: ...Um, (Sakura-san will kill me but...) what's wrong with bubblegum? I've been chatting with Eimii-senpai. She's awesome. Sincerely, Kryah (who will soon have an Italian PenPal!!)

Itachi: Right, and we give a shit about this stuff because? Sakura: Shut up. Kryah’s cool.

Lucifel: Kyrah’s the shit!! And don’t worry about it, school is very much a busy thing, good for you with the courses! Itachi: Oh fuck off, girly. I’ll touch whoever I like wherever I like. –gropes Zabuza- see? Zabuza: O.o Haku: -gasps- Zabuza! Are you all right? Are you disturbed? Zabuza: Just…disturbed… Haku: -cuddlesOrochimaru: -tries to eat fairy dustSakura: Thanks. I’ll do my best. I really appreciate you’re . Kabuto: -covers faceKiba: Um…I guess…I’m ok. I’m hungry. Also, please don’t kill me for not coming home… Shino: They’ll kill you. Kiba: Not before I suffocate in here. Shino: hehe. Orochimaru: It wont work with my tongue, is too big. Also, gets stuck on my faces and peels off my outer skin with it…no fun, that. Jiraiya: Fucking creepy… Orochimaru: Not as creepy as you writing down Naruto’s spine. Jiraiya: Trying to keep it decent, here. Naruto: -blushing furiously.Itachi: Who the fuck is Eimii are we supposed to care? Lucifel: She is my fan-girl rival. She steals my Kryah…-snifflesLee: GUWAH!! –gets thrown to the ground- My youth does nothing.

Temari: I don’t know what’s wrong…-uninterestedLee: ARRGGGGG!! –gets smashed. Is now very near deadTemari: -thinks- OH! Of course! I’m the school girl! It’s up to ME to beat the giant monster! –jumps up- Umm, power activate?! –her school uniform gets all shiny and her hair is re-arranged in a long braid, and she holds a long power-wandGaaaaaay. –smacks monster across the faceMonster: FUCKING SHIT!! That hurt bitch! Temari: Monster…erm…you’ve been causing trouble and…aww fuck the moral speech. –stabsMonster: -scream and diesEyeball: -spits Lee out, (and Temari but she’s back in Suna)Gaara: -stares in shock at Lee as people run to helpSakura: LEE!! ARE YOU OK?! Lee: Gurg… Gaara: -runs forward and gathers him in his arms- Lee…Lee speak to me… Sakura: -starts preparing healing chakraGaara: Lee…-cries a littleKabuto: You need to back away Gaara, Lee needs to be healed… Gaara: No…no…Lee…-kissesLee: -smiles and kisses backGaara: -gasps and pulls back- you’re awake!! Lee: -smiles broadly- the sky is pink and full of doggerpillars. Sakura: He still needs healing… Gaara: -faintsSakura: GAH!

Kabuto: I’ll handle this one, you get Lee. Sakura: uh…ok… *Smooches Lucifiel, grinning* Sakura: Wow. You just got upgraded on the badass scale. Pretty soon, you'll be good enough to have a demon sealed inside you! Demon as in demon, not a totally badass alternate personality. *High faves Sakura* Everyone: Anyone mind if I sort of, you know, clean the frap pool and make it clean again? Or just make a different pool? Mabye full of sake? Orochimaru: Well, I figured sicne you like souls, I'd go get you some. *Hands him a huge tank, full of other peoples souls* And here. I stole these from Neji's room while I was looking for blackmail material for him. *Hands Oro an album of even newer sext photo's of Sasuke, and suprisingly Itachi. Sometimes together* Just do what you want with it. I sure as hell don't want it. P.S. *Tosses in Roy, also from FMA* I dare Roy to kiss Ed for..3 minutes. Full on the lips. Closed Mouth. Lucifel: Teehee. Zakura: I said stop!! Sakura: Um, yeah thanks…busy now… Zakura: Haha, cold-shouldered! Orochimaru: YAY! We go swimming! Itachi: Make sure you take out the extras we’ve thrown in there, k ? Sasori: Ah, drowning extras…-smilesZakura: Dammit, the eyeball exploded… Orochimaru: Awww, it was so cool. HEY!! SOULS!! Zakura: Keep them in your desk until we’re done. Orochimaru: Kay. –squashes desk with tank- oops. YAY!! PR0NS!! Neji: ACK!! NOES!!! U STOLE MA PR0NS!! Shino: -.Kiba: I need out so I can make fun of Neji’s whore-ness! Roy: Three minutes? Hehe, no problem.

Ed: Roy…no…stop…NO! –Roy tackles and smooches him-thrity minutes laterItachi: Are you dooone? I want to . Orochimaru: Shush! I think they’re gonna take off pants next… Kurenai: No!! not the sexy colonel! –criesRoy: -sits back pantingEd: -cuddles against him embarrassedly, hiding from everyone elseDeidara: Aww, he’s so shy about being gay, yeah. Sasori: you could do with a dose of shyness. Deidara: Nah. Oh, and Kyuubi now has his chakra sealed for the chapter and is the size or a puppy. (sicks 5-headed dragon on Kyuubi) You can only attack my dragon with light based attacks.(evil laughter and lightning in background) to everyone else. Does anyone want anything? I'll go get it for you if you let me huggle you or glomp you or stroke your hair. Kyuubi: Fucking hell. I’m out. I’m going to find you and kill you…you better be in Vegas somewhere… People of Vegas: There’s a dog attack a dragon downtown! Best new attraction evar! Orochimaru: you can do all three if you get me a carrot. Jiraiya: -puts away marker- A carrot? Orochimaru: Yeah, I’ve got a craving… Zakura: You’re all weird as all hell. Kiba: You stroke my hair if you open the fridge… Neji: -leans casually against fridge door1. I'm starting to get tired of this new Gaara. here...-hands over strange color-changing potion in another plastic vial- I whipped that up in the past week. it contains the exact opposites of the ingredients in the first potion. make sure Gaara drinks it! 2. -in small, childish voice- does anyone hate me? I hope not... 3. Yays! Naruto-kun! you've seen Cars?! it's my favorite movie EVER!! I've seen it a tenth time since my

last review! in fact...can I throw people/cars in, too? listen to his cackle! show 'em Wingo! Wingo: hey! I never agreed to this! -gets tossed in-The Muffinator 3 PS: ooh! "Life is a Highway" is playing on the radio! -sings along-

Gaara: -garbles in his sleep and can not swallowKabuto: Just let him sleep…he’ll be alright…maybe…it IS this place after all. Sakura: Lee’s ok again. Lee: Woah…I dreamt of caterpillars…that were DOGS! Sakura: How…youthful… Lee: I KNOW! ^_^ Itachi: I do. Didn’t you give muffins? Kankuro: I love you! Deidara: That’s the first thing you’ve said all chapter…even when Gaara kissed Lee. Yeah. Kankuro: I was distracted… Deidara: By? Yeah? Kankuro: …the ceiling. Deidara: -confusedNaruto: YAY!! –rides around in the car- LIFE IS A HIGHWAY!! I WANNA RIDE IT!!! Itachi: I wanna ride your mom! Naruto: O.o Sasori: -pushes car out the windowLucifel: Yay, that was fast. Ok, done with the chapter! At least it’s Monday…what a long fucking day…grug. K, bye everyone!

Ask Sakura 41 Lucifel: Hiya. I’m writing this in rich text format…and it’s WEIRD. Zakura: You didn’t sleep did you? Lucifel: You didn’t let me sleep. –Wiggles eyebrowsZakura: … -gaping in horrorLucifel: Anyway, because it was Labor day weekend I’m extending the school theme. Sakura: that makes no sense… Lucifel: Yes it does. I’m awesome. It’s lunch time. Kiba: I KNOW!! BUT I’M IN THE FUCKING FRIDGE!!

Shino: -leans move heavily against fridgeNaruto: I’m hungryyyyy…aren’t their supposed to be cafeterias or something? Zakura: You’re in a cafeteria right now. Naruto: But there’s no food!! Zakura: And? Kimimaro: -wipes Gaara’s forehead- How is he Kabuto? Kabuto: Stable…just let him rest… Lee: -holds Gaara’s handNEJI! NEJI NEJI NEJI! I worked out why the Hyuuga house is so bloody big not only so you have lots of different rooms to sleep with people in but also coz you have a fudgin' great space in the centre for training XD Kabuto? In an Akatsuki cloak? O.O I WANT PICTURES! Hinata and Shika is a cute pairing squee! she's like the only girl he can stand to be around What are you IM names?? Just out of curiosity... Neji: Really? I had no fucking clue. Wow, I will have to utilize that now that that revelation has been granted to be. Naruto: Damn Neji, you’re pretty stupid, even I figured that out. Neji: …wow, Naruto, you’re sure smarter than me. Naruto: HAA!! He itted it! I’m brilliant! See, Sakura?! Sakura: …yeeeah… Orochimaru: In some of the pr0n he wears my old one….you can always buy some. Same rate as always. Hinata: Shika…maru? Shikamaru: I like Temari ok…but yeah, Hinata’s the easiest to be around. Zaku/Neji: -mumblings- I wish she was the easiest to get INTO…

Hinata/Kiba/Kurenai: WHAT?!?! Zakura: Into places…so we could go out… Neji: uh…uh…yeah… Kurenai: Nope, you DIE. Neji: AGH!! –runs awayZakura: -trips- No running in school, bitch. Neji: yeow…-gets smashed by skilletZakura: Props, Kurenai. Kurenai: Thanks. –swaggers back to table- And come on, we’re ninja would we really— Naruto: Foxkit010101010 Kurenai: Oo Kyuubi: Aww, you like being all fox-possessed. Naruto: No, I was trying to imply being cunning and swift… Kyuubi: and the 010101010 definitely implies your maturity. Naruto:) Neji: Mine is— Kiba: your1andonly41nite!!! Neji: I hate you. HOW did you get the sn? Kiba: You posted it on ‘one nite stands dot com’ Neji: Oo how do you know about that… Kiba: teeheehee Shino: -pulls open fridge and jerks Kiba out of it- WHAT WERE YOU DOING ON THAT WEBSITE?! Kiba: I just wanted to find people and make of them I swear!!

Shino: Well your IM is puppyluv505 you bad-ass. Kiba: Hey…that’s just for you…the one I use most is fangsofdeath…. Hinata: I always talk to you of puppyluv505. Kiba: I didn’t want to scare you. It was a dark and stormy morning. OH! Didn’t see that plot twist coming, did you?! No I did not We need to embrace the contraction…fuk’t. Good morning I like men in dresses which is why Jim wears one Zakura: Sorry, someone was dictating over Lucifel’s shoulder…and rubbing his nose on it… Kiba: KINKY NICE!! Sakura: A-anyway…my IM is…is… Naruto: -pissy mood- It’s sasukesluver1897…and she tried every number before that. With both spellings of love. Zakura: We’re changing that. Kabuto: -sulksOrochimaru: Mine is SASUKESDOMINATRIX!!!! Sakura: …wtf?! Itachi: YOU’RE the one that stole the sn I wanted? Sakura: Oo Kisame: Mine is sharkman— Kiba: Predictable— Kisame: --ridingitachi.

Itachi: O.O Kisame:) Deidara: tehe, yeah. Zakura: Does anyone else have unpredictable sn’s or can we move on? Kiba: Well Kurenai’s is skillettoyourhead. Kurenai: Yes. Yes it is. Jiraiya: ouch… Zakura: and who didn’t predict that? Naruto: -raises handNeji: -starts to raise hand but discreetly brushes hair instead…Sakura: I thought you didn’t have one? Kurenai: I thought we might want to preserve our image but no…why would I think that? Zakura: anyone else? Orochimaru: Kabuto’s is Ihaveasecretthingforyounggirlswithpinkhair. Kabuto: Oo Sakura: O Kabuto: No it’s…not… Kimimaro: that’s not the one I talked to you on. Orochimaru: I made it. :3 Kabuto: THEN HOW IS IT MINE?! Orochimaru: Cause I made it from your mind. Zakura: We’re moving on NOW. Back to class. Everyone: Awww…

Kiba: I thought she’d want to know about Hinata’s… Zakura: WHAT IS IT?! Kiba: Oh nothing…nothing… Zakura: WHAT?! Hinata: you mean— Kiba: No, no, you needn’t tell her, let’s go sit at our desks quietly like good students… Zakura: NO! NO! Kiba: -sitsSakura: Next review! Zakura: NOOOO Picks Lucifel up, and walks off. Comes back 3 hours later Looking satisfied. Very satisfied Zakura: , I can take away your sexy albums if you mock me... Kabuto: BASTARD! Hits. Really hard Lee: YOSH! LEE, YOUTHFUL FRIEND, I YOUTHFULLY ORDER YOU TO KISS SAKURA! P.S. Tosses in most of the FMA cast I dare all of you that have made out with Ed, to make out with Ed. Lucifel: yay. Zakura: Slut. Lucifel: No, I’m waiting for marriage. Zakura: …didn’t you marry this one? Lucifel: yes. :3 Zakura: -sighs- And no, you can’t…I’ve got them and I’m never letting go. Kyuubi: -jacks her albums-

Zakura: AGHKFPOLG?! Kyuubi: haha, bitch. Zakura: -glaresKabuto: OWW!! WHAT THE HELL?! Kimimaro: Don’t pretend you didn’t deserve that. Kabuto: I’ve BEEN hit!! Kimimaro: Aww, poor thing. Kabuto: I thought you were the shy, gentle type. Not the annoying sarcastic bitchy type. Kimimaro: So you bring out my kinky side. –wiggles eyebrowsKabuto: …I almost wish you had kept your crush secret… Kimimaro: -blushes and turns back to tending to Gaara.Lee: Oh…YES!! THE KISS OF YOUTH!! Sakura: Say what? Lee: -glomps/kissesSakura: Mfprg?! Lee: -leans back- Ah! Quite the kiss, yes? Sakura: WTFOMGBBQAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!! Lee: Hmm…if that seemed to give Sakura so much energy… Kimimaro: Yes. What you are thinking will definitely work. –secret smileLee: -jumps onto Gaara and kisses all dramaticallyGaara: -SLAPSLee: -goes reeling across the roomGaara: -sits up, bristling- WHO?!

Kimimaro: -points at Lee who is crumpled in a corner nowGaara: -GASP OF HORROR- LEE!! –runs over- Lee! Lee: -shakes head- whu-what? Did it work? Gaara: did what work? Lee: Did I restore your youth and energy? Gaara: -blinks a few times- Yeah…you restored me alright. Lee: Oh good. –kisses againGaara: -after lee breaks away and he spends long minutes in shock- I-I said it worked… you… Lee: That one was cuz I missed you. –thumbs upGaara: …-stunned-…Lee…I… Lee: -big grinGaara: I love you. Lee: Yosh…and I think you’re the most awesome guy evar…not including Gai-sensei. Gaara: So you…you… Lee: Wanna go get some youthful dinner after this? Gaara: -blushes- sure. Zakura: AHEM!! Being comatose and having dramatic moments is no excuse to skip class. TO YOUR SEATS. Lee/Gaa: -walk to their seats holding handsDeidara: -raises hand and waves aroundZakura: Yes, Deidara? Deidara: What just happened, yeah? Zakura: -sigh- When Lee got spat out of the eyeball he was mortally wounded, and by seeing someone he had previously felt so strongly about in such peril Gaara’s memories

were jump-started. In desperate sadness he kissed him which because of the rules of clichés Lee woke up for and returned because having been separated from all of us he realized that Gaara was the one he missed most, and had always been there or something, anyway…Lee used the Sakura thing as an excuse to kiss Gaara, which Kimimaro encouraged because he could tell Gaara was starting to wake up, Gaara felt someone kissing him and the adrenaline of the shock jump-started him, made him slap Lee, and then run over and they got together. Whoop-de-fucking-do. Deidara: Yay, yeah. Zakura: Yeah, yeah, yay. Lucifel: EVERYONE CELEBRATE!! Ed: Oh COME ON. And I was doing such a good job of being ignored too! Al: …I don’t wanna… Zakura: The review makes you. But so this goes quickly, just kiss him Al: -kissesItachi: W00t!! INCEST!! Ed: We were young! We were curious! SOMETHING LIKE 8 OF KIDS DO IT!! Hawkeye: That was a terrible quote…what if I’ve made out with Roy? Roy: But you haven’t… Hawkeye: -raises eyebrow- I thought you weren’t drunk? Roy: -gasp- …-goes to a corner to thinkHughes: Umm… Hawkeye: No. I haven’t. Every now and then I just have to mess with his mind. It keeps him from getting corrupted. Hughes: seriously? Hawkeye: That’s MY justification. Envy: -tackle/tongue-rapes EdEd: MRGF!! NOO!!

Envy: YUMM!! Scar: -rolls eyes and kisses Ed roughlyEd: eep… Al/Roy: WHEN?! Ed: It just kind of…happened… Everyone: -shocked and confusedHohenheim: Does it count if he was too young to ? Itachi: Oh…that’s a level of fucked up I wouldn’t even go to. Orochimaru: Yes you would. Itachi: Maaaaaybe. Ed: Oo Hohenheim: What? I didn’t…I was just curious. Zakura: But of course, because it would be too young for him to he’ll never know… Hohenheim: -whistles innocentlyEd: -his brain is brokeHawkeye: All right…we’re leaving now… -The FMA cast rolls out…Kiba: But do they transform? Scar: -pops back in to try and explode Kiba’s HEADRoy: Do you want me to stick with you, Ed, or can I go? Ed: I…I don’t even care anymore…just go… Roy: ‘k. –pulls Scar off- I’ll se you back home…I’ll be waiting. Kurenai: Man…and he was so sexy too.

(Sics a 7-tailed dragon on the 5-headed dragon that was attacking Kyuubi) No hurting my favorite demon! I'm sorry, did I say ninety? I meant NINE THOUSAND! (Lucifel, have you seen the Nine Thousand video on Youtube yet? I suggest you watch it if you like to see Dragonball Z get mocked). (Pulls out a guitar and smashes it on Orochimaru's soul tank, cracking it and allowing souls to slowly escape) if you're in the soul collecting biz, you gotta attack the competition. Good chapter! People of Vegas: WOOOT!! WOW!! How did they make the explosion of that building look so REAL?! Kyuubi: Haha, I’m not in Vegas anymore…fuckers…and no. I don’t wanna. Itachi: And really, who DOESN’T like making fun of DBZ? Orochimaru: Teehee, constipated blonde men shooting a single energy beam for fifty episodes…yay… Deidara: but they aren’t even pretty blonde men…yeah… Sasori: Not every blonde man can be as man-pretty as you. Itachi: It’s not even man-pretty anymore. Kisame: Itachi is man-pretty. Itachi: -shuddersKisame: Deidara is like…disturbing WTF pretty… Sasori: It’s funny how that described it better than I ever could. Souls: -start wandering around the room aimlesslyOrochimaru: Awwwww… then they had hot kinky sex… Itachi: Who? Orochimaru: How should I know? Someone else wrote that. Lucifel: -sigh- I’m never writing in the school cafeteria again….

Hmm...(clicks fingers and it starts to rain carrots) well I'm going no where near the pedophile. (kicks Neji between the legs and sends him flying to the moon). Sorted. (strokes Kiba's hair) Can you guys take care of my pet Shiba Inu? She is about 6 foot from paw to shoulder though. Well she can't be hurt or killed so don't worry and she can talk. Her name's Snowshoes. Kiba: DUDE!! It’s raining Carrots!! Orochimaru: YAY!! –grabs a carrotNeji: FUCK!! OWW!! The moon sucks. Kiba: And you’re back already? Neji: the moon is also bouncy… Kiba: And you already slept with all the moon men? Neji: Fuck off. Kiba: You wish! Yay! Dog! Snowshoes: Food? Food now? Kiba: No…we has no food… Snowshoes: Oh…Food NOW?! Kiba: ARRR!! This is why dogs shouldn’t talk…hey, I’m hungry. Shino: -sigh- …yeah, they really shouldn’t… Ginger: If I see them I'll tell them hello for you Luci-chan :3 Bell: Is it true that a squirrel lives in Lee's pants? Ginger: I have one question for you, Kurenai: Can't you just FEEL the sexual tension? -throws flow petalsBell: For the genin of the room.. have you ever done anything with your teacher(s)? Ginger: You better hope that's just curiosity.. Snowshoes: Squirrel? Chase squirrel? Squirrel become food?

Zakura: ok class, we’re gonna learn a lesson. Kiba: What’s that? Zakura: Lee, come up here assist me. Lee: -prances up youthfully- How can I— Zakura: PANTSED!!! –pantses LeeEveryone: -gaspGaara: -blushLee: -confusedZakura: Ah see, today we learned Lee does NOT have a squirrel in his pants… Lee: Can I…pull my pants back up? Deidara: DAMN BOY!! YOU IS HUNG LIKE AN OX!!! YEAH!! Gaara: -blushes like crazy and glares at ZakuraDeidara: Of course…these are asian people standards…yeah… Naruto: YOU’RE asian!! Deidara: I am not! I’m blonde! Kiba: Not to mention a Ninja…SO not asian, gosh. Snowshoes: No squirrel…no food…aww… Haku: WHEE!!! –floats in the raftersKiba: We have rafters?! Kurenai: -waves away petals- Yes, and it SCARES me. Jiraiya’s looking at my ass… Jiraiya: It’s right in front of me. Kurenai: -glaresZakura: Eyes forward.

Kurenai: -glares forwardZakura: Don’t glare at me, bitch. Write “I will not glare at the teacher” a hundred times. Kurenai: On? Jira/Kiba: -cross fingersZakura: The blackboard, of course, you whorish old woman. Kurenai: -stalks up to the blackboardLee: …Gai-sensei and I train together… Gaara: They…uh…mean sexually… Lee: -blush- Well…I mean…it’s such an honor and everyone wants to… Everyone: NU-UH!! Kurenai: -bites lip- mmmm, yeah… Zakura: Eww. Gaara: You have? Lee: I…I wanted to learn… Gaara: Oh my god… Lee: Can you still go out with me? Gaara: Uh, fuck yeah. Lee: -happyNaruto: NO!! KAKASHI IS NASTY!! Zakura: What about Jiraiya? Naruto: EWW! NO!! Jiraiya: -blushes embarrassedly- aherm…uh…yeah… Orochimaru: Ewww…teehee.

Jiraiya: You don’t think that’s gross at all. Orochimaru: No, no I don’t. Sakura: Eugh, no. Neji: I’m not delusional like Lee….Gai is fucking weird. Orochimaru: But does he fuck weird? Neji: Oo Hinata: ….I…uh…. Sakura: You don’t even have to answer. We know. Just like we know Kiba wants Kurenai… Kiba: HEY!! Kabu/Saku: Yeah... well since you didn't Really finish the dare, and Kabuto cried afterward, I'm still gonna think that Kabu likes Sakura. However, I'm still appalled at your treatment of Sakura, Kabuto so I'm doing this! Sakura: You have to Make Out with either Itachi or Roy or Kyuubi. NO SWITCHING (cause that would totally defeat the purpose)! Kiba: -reeling on Kabuto- YOU CRIED?! Sakura: -stares at the embarrassed KabutoKabuto: I…nooo… Kimimaro: -gigglesSakura: Umm…I’m switching. With Kurenai. Kurenai: WHY?! I’ve made out with both of them already! Sakura: Oh yeah…Jiraiya. Everyone: … Crickets: -chirp, chirpJiraiya: WHY?!

Sakura: I’m trying to enforce the randomness of this place…what? I’m not in the mood to make sense. –glares at KabutoKabuto: -tries to disappearJiraiya: I…uh…c’mere Itachi. Itachi: NO! WHY?! Jiraiya: Because you’re more my type, get this over with. Itachi: FINE! –snogs JiraiyaEveryone: Ewwwwww…. IM IN SUNNY SPAIN! w00t! Anywayz... gives dei-chan a dose of shyness lets see if this makes Sasori-teme happier... I dare you all to BELLY DANCE! Naru-chan did you know you and tachi are exact opposites and by some weird random knowledge ur perfect each other so i dare you to makeout with him for 10 minutes. June x Kyuubi: Right on. Be right there. –disappears to go to SpainNaruto: NOT fair!! Zakura: So YOU stop him. Naruto: …damn… Deidara: I don’t wanna… Sasori: -INJECTS!!!Deidara: Kya! People are looking at me yeah! –covers more of his faceSasori: Yesssss…. Zakura: All right class. On your desks, belly-dancing. NOW.

Everyone: whu? Zakura: NOW!!! –fiery eyesEveryone: -clambers on to desks and as Arabian music floats in they all begin belly dancing…this does no include Zabuza, he standing on the desk trying to catch Haku, but it basically looks like the same thing so…Zakura: Now show your bellies! –rolls up shirtHina/Dei: KYAAA! NOOOOO! (yeah) Zakura: Oh don’t be pussies! MOVE THOSE HIPS BITCHES!! –sways hips with extreme seductivenessHinata: -bluuuushOrochimaru: If I was straight…I’d like Tsunade. Zakura: K, we’re done. Hina/Dei: -scramble back to their seats to hide their bodies behind desksItachi: Oh come onnn. I already made out with a dorky bastard today…. Naruto: I switch with Zabuza. Itachi: I switch…wait, no I don’t. –tackles ZabuzaKisame: What the hell Zabuza! I thought we were bros! You’re making out with my man! Zabuza: -pushes Itachi away- IT ISN’T MY FAULT!! Kisame: Yeah well…-grabs Haku- Let’s see how you like it…. Haku: WAAA!! Zabuza: -lunges- GRAAAAA!! –tries to killKisame: -puts Haku down and RUNS AWAY- Ok, I understand! It upsets you! LET ME LIVE!! hi everyone! Deichan you are so cute!!

um Shikamaru who is the person that you love the most? and if you had to live the rest of your life with someone who would it be? Orochimaru you are so creepy! if you're so obsessed with staying young why do you like Jiraiya? Deidara: Oh…um…thanks… Shikamaru: I…-thinks long and hard- My father. Everyone: wait, WHAT?! Shikamaru: yeah, it a totally platonic parent-child way. Zakura: Damn I hate you and your loopholes. Shikamaru: -smirks- Also, it would have to be Choji. He’s the one that understands me the best without being an ass or a parent. Kiba: Who’s the ass? Shikamaru: no one. Kiba: Then why’d you mention it? Shikamaru: I hate dumb people. Orochimaru: Oh, because Jiraiya is my last anchor onto something sane and normal and beautiful. Youth is strength, but beauty is life. Jiraiya is a manifestation of life and what it does, and what it gives everyone else. My lust for power just overwhelms my awe of that. Jiraiya: uh…wow… Orochimaru: -smileItachi: Did you just answer a question SERIOUSLY?! Orochimaru: Well, I seriously love Jiraiya so… Itachi: Wtf? Shikamaru: Oh damnit all!! I give up already! But, as a punishment, I shall take away that thing you write to Choji with for one chapter! If Zakura allows me to... Zakura: I dare you to dress someone in a kitty outfit.

Sakura: My german teacher(the lady who teaches me to speak german) can't teach me ANYTHING! She's a bad teacher and I learn nothing!! What can I do? -sobs and hugs Sakura's feet in despairBy the way, I just baked a cake. Who wants to lick the bowl? -throws the bowl into the roomShikamaru: haha. It’s a rule that you can’t— Zakura: Fair enough. –throws letter out of the roomShikamaru: I…hate you…so much… Zakura: -sticks tongue out- You’re going in the kitty outfit my friend. –puts Shikamaru in a pink kitty outfitShikamaru: this is uncomfortable. I don’t like it…at all. Get it off. Itachi: Well, she never said you couldn’t take it off… Shikamaru: -rips it offHinata: Aww…-makes sad eyesZakura: -fixes suit and forces it back on Shkamaru- And it STAYS ON. Kiba: -takes pictureShikamaru: -rubs eyes cause he is blinded by the flash- I hate you all. Hinata: Even me? Shikamaru: No one hates you Hinata. Hinata: -phewSakura: you can talk to the principle about it, and see if there’s anything that can be done to arrange a new teacher for you, but if she’s the only one for the school I don’t really know what you can do…but if you’re really suffering I guess you could always just force yourself through it? Maybe you could switch classes? I have no idea how your school system works…but if you can, try to switch classes for sure. Itachi: or you could use sheep to destroy her soul. Orochimaru: And then they could take over the class!!

Itachi: W00T!! -bowl shatters on Jiraiya’s headOrochimaru: -licks batter off of Jiraiya’s face- yummy. 1. Sakura: Why are you so high strung? Is it a trait specific to you or just women in general? 3. Shikamaru : A while back in the story, you said that you almost wished you had something going with Ino because “anything’s better than what I have”. What exactly do you have? P.S. Naruto, you said there was one other person you liked besides Sakura. (Or at least thought was cute) Now that we’re this far into the story, I have to conclude it’s either Haku or Hinata….So, which is it? Sakura: I am not high-strung godammit!!! –foamsZakura: -pats- It’s because she has the habit of liking men that stress her out…aka, she’s really stupid and makes bad choices that fuck with her mind. Sakura: I hates you. Shikamaru: I have a home, a family, a job, clothing…a massive head ache… Orochimaru: I have something massive. Zakura: Damn you Shikamaru…I’ll tell them on my own if you don’t. Shikamaru: I’ll kill you. Zakura: How would you manage that, huh? Shikamaru: With my MIND. Zakura: -shudders- I hate smart people… Naruto: It’s…uhm… Zabuza: -glaresZakura: -glaresNaruto: Well, they’re BOTH pretty cute—

Zaku/Zabu: DIE!!! –pounceHaku: Kya! Naruto!! –glomps him by way of throwing himself in the path of fire- If you hurt him you’ll have to hurt me too!! Zabuza: What have I said about watching Disney movies Haku? Haku: But I LIKES them…-puppy eyesZabuza: -frustrated sigh- fine. We’ll let him live…but watch your back kid… Zakura I’m not letting him live! Hinata: Naruto-kun!! –worried faceZakura: -pang of guilt- … -walks away grumbling (is stabbed) OMG THE PAIN!1 (falls to the ground and a pool of red goo forms around her then she sits up quickly and pulls a huge ketchup bottle out of her shirt) lol you thought you hurt me! XP Shino: if you we going to have kids what would you name them? Kisame: what are your feelings towards the pairings of narukisa and deidaraXkisame? Kabuto: (btch slaps) that’s for what you did in chap 39 you jerk i just forgot to do it in the last review is all. MiniDeath P.S.(throws in Ranma from Ranma1/2) Zakura: You bitch. You totally stole that from Hot Fuzz… Kiba: BEST MOVIE EVAR!!! Shino: -rolls eyesOrochimaru: teehee, she had a bottle in her shirt. XD Jiraiya: you freak… Orochimaru: I’m a super freak!! Deidara: He’s a freak! Super freak! Superfreaky!! YEAH!!

Sasori: NO. Deidara: Sorry…yeah… Shino: I’m not having kids… Naruto: But if you were gonna— Shino: NO. I refuse…I hate children… Kiba: -heart brokenShino: Hey, I’m letting you have your dogs. Kiba: -happyKisame: I think you people are fucked up in the mind!! Itachi the only one I need!! … unless a threesome is involved… Itachi: You frighten me… Kisame: You know you like it that way. Itachi: -sweat drop- I really need to hurry and get my hair back… Kabuto: OWW!! This is getting old fast… Zakura: And yet you don’t deserve it any less every time. Ranma: Um, hello? Zabuza: I SAW YOU EYEING MY HAKU YOU WHISKERED FREAK!! –waterjutsu’s Naruto, misses, and hits Ranma.Ranma: -turns into a girl- aww man… Orochimaru: DUDE!!! THAT’S AWESOME!! Deidara: Ooh! Ooh! I read this manga! He goes back if you use hot water!! Itachi/Zabuza: -jutsu the living fuck out of him with water/fire thereby hot water…Ranma: -turns back into a man- … -splutter cough- umm, I’m not sure what the hell is going on but— Orochimaru: AGAIN!! –jutsu with water-

Ranma: -turns into a girl- hey now! This is ridiculous!! Ita/Zabu: -hot-water jutsu himRanma: Stop it! -they continueI have a gift for Roy and Ed! They get to go live happily ever after when they leave this room. (it seems kind of dumb now that I typr it out but I want to so neh) Can dares still be ed on? I hope not. Naruto kiss someone that you have a crush on that's in this room. BUT you can't have told anyone that you have a crush on them. by the way, It starts raining. good luck suckers. Ed: Yeah, good luck fixing my life… Itachi: NO! No emo-ness! BAD ALCHEMIST! –smacksEd; But my life sucks!! Itachi: I said, BAD! BAD LITTLE AUTOMAIL BOY!! Ed: WHO YOU CALLING LITTLE YOU PREMATURELY AGED FREAK!?! Itachi: -pounces-they tumble about in a brawlOrochimaru: -running away from Ranma- ME TOO! –dives into brawlNaruto: I— Zakura: Oh, and the time limit on that thing ran out…so sorry! No more switching! Sakura: Zakura!! Zakura: Worth it. The boy will get his ass whooped now. Naruto: But…but… Zabuza: -kicks ranma into the poolNaruto: …ok…he’s distracted…-runs and kisses Haku quickly and returns to his seat-

Haku: teeheehee. Zabuza: -storms over and kicks Naruto in the face- YOU THINK I WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO TELL, PUNK?! –starts strangling NarutoZakura: -rings bell- that’s he end of second period. Ten minute break before PE!! Lee: Umm…the strange gender-bending man isn’t coming up for air… Kiba: -looks and sees Ranma caught in some sort of whirlpool- AHA! –Thinks- the rain and strange pool behavior must be connected…it must be a clow card! I will save the day and get one step closer to my goal! But I must return to class on time!! Lucifel: Kiba is the heroine of a magic-girl story!! Kya! Yes…yes this was the whole point of extending the school theme… Kiba: -runs into the closet and comes out in a strange costumes with a lot of dangly tassels and frills and colors…basically it makes your eyes bleedShino: W…T…F?! Kiba: -runs and dives into the pool- … -smacks whirlpool with his staff and it dissipatesRanma: -floats to the surfaceKiba: -kicks the drain out and the water gets sucked down…except on thick stream with takes the shape of an angry lady and hisses at Kiba- RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT TO HAVE!! CLOW CARD!! –smacks with staffWatery: -turns into a card…on the picture of which she is giving the fingerKiba: Aww…oh well, sealing time! I saved the day and I still have a minute before class! –runs and gets changedNaruto: -pokes RanmaRanma: -twitches and lies stillZakura: Well…he’s dead…-shoves down drain- BACK TO CLASS!! Kiba: -runs in at the last moment pulling a shoe on and his hair messy- Sorry teacher…slide into seatShino: I want you to know I will NOT be your quirky sidekick… Kiba: Of course not. You’re the angsty love interest. –smile-

Shino: … Itachi: And it’s frustrating cause you can’t argue with him. Shino: Fuck off. Itachi: So, would Akamaru be your quirky animal sidekick? Oh no…he’s not here… Kiba: -dramatically depressedZakura: Pay attention you bastards…and it’s still raining…. Kiba: ftw? –confusedHA! I'm no where near Vegas! I'm not even in the USA! Tell ya what. Whoever guesses where I live will get anything of their choice. Naruto: Oooh! Oooh! ITALY!! Sakura: England? Kiba: Spain? Shikamaru: The earth…what now? Zakura: you’re really annoying. Shikamaru: So is this kitty outfit… -glare-off!!-Shikamaru gets bored and stares at the thunder-heads forming under the ceiling…Kiba: OH! I knows! FLY CARD!! Fly: -is summoned- the fuck do you want? Kiba: I…you…what…? Fly: -sighs and asks slightly more nicely- what do you want? Kiba: to…for you to use your wings to dispel the clouds up there… Fly: -rolls eyes- do I look like fucking windy? Oh well…-flaps wings super hard until the disperse and a freaky-looking chibi girl is floating in their place-

Kiba: YES! RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT TO HAVE!! CLOW CARD!! Freaky chibi Girl: -is sealed into the Storm cardKiba: YOSH!! Fly: Can I go now? Kiba: Err…sure? Fly: -turns back into a cardShino: So…right in front of everyone huh? You fail as a super-heroine. Kiba: Oh noes. –sadnessHT: anyway, SASUKE BIT ME! amber: because she locked him in a room with ponies. HT: I THOUGHT HE WOULD LOVE THE PONIES! i just hope Sasuke had all his shots... amber: i would laugh if he didn’t. HT: anyway, im going on a horseback trailride and i was hoping someone SANE would like to me. its the entire weekend in Montana. there will be chocolate and smores!! amber: and bears. and wolves. and giraffes. and a spa, somewhere on the trail... HT: oh, i dare lee to lick someone... Itachi: Go ototo!! You get kinky with those girls!! Sakura: NO! that is not what he’s doing!! Naruto: Ninja don’t get shots. –puffsKiba: HAHA!! You’ve been RABIED!! Itachi: Sasuke has rabies? Kinky hawt. Kyuubi: -walking back in covered in Spanish regalia- Sweet, Montana. –Leaves againAnd just a note, I CAN go back to whenever you actually went so fuck off. –Smirks-

Lee: Umm…-licks Gaara and blushesGaara: -is incapacitated by sexual arousal1. Delivery! look out below!! -giant box lands in the center of the room- it's actually empty, but you can do lots of fun things with a box! um...ignore the lettering that reads "FRAGILE: WORLD'S LARGEST MUFFIN". I had to get a box somewhere. and a giant muffin for the Muffin Festivals in Tastyland... -The Muffinator 3 Lucifel: LOLS!!! I’m being called by the special Olympics right now!! Zakura: …ANYway… Kiba: -climbs to the top of the box- DUDE!! –jumps inNaruto: What? What is it? FOOD?! Snowshoes: Food?! Food now?! Kiba: -burps massively and emerges fatter than Choji- Nope…just an empty box… ahhh… Kankuro: I thought I smelled…but I guess not…-suspiciousOrochimaru: Dude, you keep not saying anything until the end of chapters…what the hell? Kankuro: I dunno. Zakura: You’re easily forgotten. Sorry whore. Bye. Lucifel: K, only a day late. GAARA AND LEE ARE TOGETHER AREN’T YOU FUGGING HAPPY?!?!?! –explodes in joySakura: She exploded, are we free? Lucifel: Nah, I’m like a voltorb, I can self-destruct and stay intact! Zakura: And she’s round as all hell. Lucifel: And I’m—WHAT?! Lee and Gaara: -KISS!!!!!-

Ask Sakura 42 Lucifel: -moping- 1855…18fucking55… Zakura: and what the hell is wrong with you? Lucifel: ONE THOUSAND EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FIVE!!! Zakura: Yes we know. And? Lucifel: DAMN!! It’s 1856 now!!! Zakura: No, babe, it’s 2007. Lucifel: NO! This guy…he has 1856 reviews!! WTF?!

Everyone: DUDE!!! Lucifel: I feel so insignificant…-sobsZakura: Yay, she’s crying. Kyuubi: Haha, bitch. And you thought you were so popular… Lucifel: AND IT’S A FEM-KYUUBI STORY!!! –wailsKyuubi: -freezes, twitches- what? Lucifel: It’s a story with femkyuubi in it…makes me cry…it’s so popular!! WHY!?! Kyuubi: -still frozenZakura: Obviously he’s a better writer than you. You’ve only got a lot of reviews because it’s a fan-interactive story. Lucifel: -sniffle- I’ve got 43 for Summer Wind… Zakura: Pfft, which is…1813 less then this kid. Oh, and his story’s only been up since January. As long as this one. Lucifel: -weeps- I don’t wanna write anymore…I wanna find a hole and DIE. I refuse to read his story because it had femKyuubi but I want to know WHY it’s got so many reviews!!!!!!! Kyuubi: Who…is he? Lucifel: -sniff- Thu-hic- Thundereaper. Zakura: -mumbles- there should be two r’s there…moron. Lucifel: thanks. Zakura: Er, I mean, someone of that writing prowess obviously can do whatever he wants, Lucifel: -shrieks in despairKyuubi: bitch is going DOWN!!!! –Becomes engulfed in angry chakra- I’ll be back later…-speeds off with deadly intent-

Sakura: -sigh- if we don’t get this thing rolling soon we’ll never get out. Lucifel, you better thank me for this. Lucifel: -give the fingerSakura: -sighs- Anyway, let’s try to break 1,000 reviews for this story ok? Get everyone you know to review, at least once, and let’s see if by December 31 we can’t get 1,000 reviews!! Lucifel: HA! YES! Who cares if it’s only because it’s fan-interactive!! I’m funny dammit! Naruto: Yeah but looks aren’t everything… Lucifel: -my weakly surviving spirit is CRUSHED…I sit and wailSakura: We’ll be taking questions now… *Growls all…seductively at Lucifel* Zakura: You insulted Lucifel. For this, you must be punished. I order you to not flirt/kiss/have sex with/strip Hinata for 3 chapters. Owned. Everyone: Yeah..*Snaps fingers, cleaning up the Frap pool, and making it -totally- immune to being dirty again, getting all the extras, resurrecting them ,and sending them on their merry way, then, add a -second- pool, full of sake, which he makes Tsunade the lifeguard for. Just to be fun* There you go. All clean and nice. Kyuubi: Would you mind judging my evil scary cackle next chapter? I promise rewards. P.S. I dare Ed to -totally- make out with Orochimaru and Itachi.

Lucifel: -teehee- seduction makes me feel better….even when I’m totally stuffed up and nauseas… Zakura: NO ONE CARES!! Sakura: Oh no, Lucifel’s sick? –worried for everyone else’s healthKiba: I don’t wanna talk backwards again!! Lucifel: no, no, this time I needs be saved from my illness! You’re all superheroes!! Kiba:...what? Lucifel: Everyone else, make up your powers and persona!! You get to wear the outfits you imagine! Sakura: Oh my god… Naruto: I am…RAMEN BOY!!! By day, a mild-mannered ramen connoisseur! By night…I use my powers of the noodle to fight of those who would ruin the sanctity of a good cup of ramen!!

-Naruto becomes dressed in a spandex orange jumpsuit, which is covered in thick ramenlikes strings. He wears a full ramen bowl as a helmetSakura: You’re way too into this… Naruto: I’ve always wanted to be a super hero. –Starry eyedOrochimaru: I am…THE VIPER!! Sneaky anti-hero-protagonist able to talk to snakes and stretch my body into lengthy, snake-like positions! Itachi: That’s what you are now. Orochimaru: Yeah, maybe…but now I get an awesome spandex costume! -Orochimaru is indeed wearing a snake-skin patterned green spandex leotard with thigh-high boot of black snakeskinDeidara: yay, spandex. Zakura: HEY WAITAMINUTE!! Wtf kind of dare is that? I don’t do any of that stuff with Hinata anyway… Hinata: -blushes furiouslySakura: Well, sometimes you flirt… Zakura: fine. I’ll just ignore her. –Trembles from the effortOrochimaru: SAKE POOL!! Tsunade: -walks out of sake-pool room- Oh, hey. I’m off-duty and going home. I’m not coming back. Save yourself. Jiraiya: eep -tries to hideTsunade: wait a minute -pauses and turns back towards Orochimaru- Why are you in spandex? Orochimaru: I’m a super-hero yeah. Tsunade: Right…I’m off. –tries to leave- … -fail- WTF? Lucifel: You’ve been due for a while. I’m keeping you. Tsunade: Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

Sakura: Can you hear her, Tsunade-sensei?! Tsunade: Who? Sakura: Never mind… Tsunade: Now seriously, what the hell is going on here? Kiba: We’re all trapped here and being forced to answer questions, perform dares and receive gifts. Tsunade: …riiight…well, I can live with the gifts part but questions and dares are out of the question. Naruto: Good luck Baa-chan, only Kyuubi gets away with that. Gaara: I used to…what happened… Kimimaro: You were weakened by a need to seduce Lee. Lee: Yosh! For I am too sexy to resist! –Smiles and huggles GaaraGaara: -blush, smileTsunade: …Kyuubi? Naruto: Yeah, he got out. Tsunade: …This is one fucked up dream. All right I’ll play along. –shrugsKurenai: Oh thank god for another sober-minded, responsible woman— Tsunade: Now I believe there was a sake-pool nearby that needs my attention! Let’s get DRUNK!! Everyone: WOOT!! Kyuubi: -while flipping through endless s- yeah, sure. It won’t be as good as mine though. Ed: WHAT?! WHY?!?! Orochimaru: -tackles and tongue-rapes EdEd: WHY ME?!

Itachi: You’re just one lucky bastard I guess. –Grabs Ed and make sweet, sweet, mouthlove to him.Ed: GET THE FUCK OFF!! –Kicks away and runs to the closet within which he locks himself*Gives Metal Sasuke to Zakura* Here ya go. Your very own Android weapon. Look at my ask fic for ideas on how he acts. And... *throws Mikoto (Sasuke and Itachi's Mother) in the room*

Zakura: Does anyone else have a superhero yet? Deidara: I am The Androgynous Artist. I confuse the bad guys with my gender issues and take them out with my artistic explosions!! Sasori: -grumbles- not fucking art… Kiba: Again! There’s no difference! Deidara: -now wearing a fishnet shirt and a frilly skirt, along with blue goggles for kicksLet’s see you do better, yeah. Kiba: Ok. I’m The Ranger. A man devoted to nature and protecting it, who uses his knowledge of plants and animals to commune with them and manipulate them to help kill off the bad guys!! –Gets dressed in baggy camouflage cloths and helmet, with a cape covered in leaves and shitNaruto: Nice! Kiba: And I have my trusty sidekick, the Bug-Zapper. Who uses his insect friends and intellect as a means to infiltrate enemy headquarters and other such things! Shino: …are you talking about me? Kiba: Of course. Shino: No way. I’m no sidekick. Zakura: To bad. You’ve been called. You’re the side kick. Shino: -is now wearing black clothes with a shell on his back and big bug-eye glasses- I. Am. Going. To. KILL. You. Kiba: -is too busy gloating about his ‘super-cool’ super hero to careLucifel: WRONG!! Kiba, you’re a school girl ?! Kiba: -is put in a sailor-moon style outfit- NO!!

Sakura: Then that would make Shino the mysterious love interest… Shino: -is now in tux, black cape a mask- This is more like it… Zakura: It’s a Sasuke Robot…right on. –Presses the “on” button to the metal, wire, chakra contraptionMetal Sasuke: S’up beyotches?! Metal Sasuke in the HIZZOUSE!! Zakura: hmm. He seems to have a minor malfunction…right on!! Metal Sasuke: Word, beyotch, what joo thinking bringin’ me to this t? Sakura: Shouldn’t he be acting like Sasuke? Zakura: this is even better. –LaughsSakura: Shouldn’t we try to fix his programming error? Zakura: Nah. S’up Mikoto? Itachi: -screeches to a halt on the way to the Sake room- …what? –turns slowly to face Mikoto- Mom? Mikoto: -gasps- Itachi? –walks towards him- Oh, Itachi…I don’t know what miracle has let this happen but I want you to know…I forgive you. I’ll give you another chance. You’re my son. –hugs- And I love you. Let’s make things better again…-tears fallItachi: -back-stabs Mikoto- Haha, bitch, you were saying? Mikoto: -falls down dead…againEveryone: -HORRORItachi: what? You thought I couldn’t kill my own mother twice? It’s actually easier the second time around. Orochimaru: Damn…even I’m a little sickened. Hina/Haku: -innocence…screams a death cryDeidara: Oh my Itachi. Don’t you think that was a little…harsh, yeah? Itachi: -shrugsKisame: -hearts in eyes- that’s my Itachi!!

Tsunade: Why isn’t everyone in here getting drunk with me?! Everyone: -runs inOk I dare Itachi, Deidara, and Orochimaru to give Naruto a make over so he looks sexy and he can actually get someone. *supplies itachi with ItaSasu tapes* here ya go ^.^ Oh and Sakura... ur actually getting a whole lot better but I think you should take a leaf outta Zakura’s book, you and Ino wud make a gd couple. Got any replies to that? June x

Lee: Oh! I know what I would be if I was a superhero!! Zakura: Go for it… Lee: I am THE YOUTHFUL EYEBROW!! Gaara: -snickerLee: I use my power of youth to bring hope and energy to those who need it! My sidekick is SANDMAN!! Who uses his powers of warmth and sunlight to bring youthful cheer to the world!! Gaara: that makes no sense. I love you, Lee, but no. Zakura: -having a field day- TOO LATE!! -Lee is now in his same outfit except for the huge, flowing cape, Gaara is in shiny gold and red spandex…and not looking happyGaara: Do you want this relationship to not work? Lee: No…of course I want it to work! That’s why I made us a team!! Kimimaro: -snickerOrochimaru: Well, I have my two worm-men sidekicks! Kabuto and Kimimaro! Kimi/kabu: Wait, WHAT?! –They become dressed in ridiculous white tube-like outfitsKabuto: not happy… Gaara: I feel better. Kimimaro: -scowls-

Ita/Oro/Dei: OOOH!! MAKE-OVER!! –Pull Naruto roughly away to a cornerNaruto: AGGGG!!! Itachi: Ooh, wait… Orochimaru: yay! Deidara: Fine, I’ll do the makeover by myself… Naruto: Oh noes… Sakura: No. Zakura: Fuck no. Ino is neither of our types. Fucking Pig-Girl… Sakura: -shudders- Gonna be sick… Jiraiya: -nosebleedsMetal Sasuke: Dood, we got some dyke beyotches in this here t? Zakura: Damn straight. Metal Sasuke: Sweet-ass! What would joo ladies say to throwing a little dawg in the mix? Zakura: -bitch-slaps-Loud fills the roomMetal Sasuke: -after fades- I say, that was quite the hit from a flesh-person. Good show. Good show indeed. Zakura: So now he’s British? Sakura: this is great. I'm happy for Lee and Gaara. Trust me, I'm grinning. Also, the Deidara shyness injection didn't last long against his natural whoring blood, I see... O Great Guru Shikamaru: Given the chance, should I learn everything? Kyuubi, Zabuza, Zakura, Kurenai, Gaara, Kimimaro, Itachi: You're the most badass people in the room. What... are your greatest fears?

Gaara: Is that sarcasm? –pulls out listZakura: Haven’t seen that in a while…heh. Lee: No! Lists are not youthful!

Gaara: Bugger off. Deidara: No way, yeah. –smirks and goes back to Naruto who is hidden in a cloud of makeupShikamaru: No. For if you know everything nothing will be interesting. You will know the sad and awful truths you never had to learn, and the hopeful happy will not balance it out. And the main point of life, as troublesome as it is, is to learn gradually and only what you need to make your life pleasant. Learning everything would be all the more troublesome, I think… Itachi: Ugh, serious answers. –rolls eyes and goes back to pervy bookKyuubi: -coming back in- I got bored. And I’m afraid of nothing. Although fluffy pink things disturb me. Zabuza: I’m only afraid of losing Haku. Haku: But you’ll never. –hugsZabuza: -smilesZakura: I’m afraid of going back inside this ditz. –Thumbs at SakuraSakura: Hey! Bitch… Zakura: Aww, she’s cursing so fluently now… Kurenai: I’m a…badass? Tsunade: Yeah ya are! –Slaps assEveryone: Oo Kurenai: -sigh- and I had so much hope when she showed up… Gaara: …nothing really. Unless I wanna go the sappy route and say I’m afraid of losing Lee, which is true, but it’s not the kind of fear I think you mean. Kimimaro: Ducks. Itachi: Yeah and I---wait, ducks? Kimimaro: Have you ever dealt with a duck? They’re fucking terrifying!

Kabuto: -face-palmItachi: Fish. Kisame: O.O Itachi…. Itachi: I’m kidding. My Dad was the only person that scared me…although I never told him that. Part of why I killed him off. Metal Sasuke: Sir, your words offend me. Please kindly go make love to yourself. Zakura: Damn…that’s worse than you were Sakura. Yay, Gaara and Lee are together!! Kankurou, you are hotter with make up on! I saw you in a shippuden ep. anyway, kiss whoever you think is smexiest in the room. Shikamaru you are so smart. Kyaa! Steals a peck from Shika, "suki da!" Naruto, Haku is so predictable! Isn't there anyone else you have a crush on?

Gaara: Yeah, thanks… Lee: -rushes around the room being youthfulGaara: -thinks- so damn cute… Kankuro: -tackles GaaraGaara: MFG?!! Kankuro: -kissesLee: GAH! Kissing my boyfriend is not youthful!! -fights Kankuro offKankuro: Agh! –runs awayLee: Get back here and fight me for his honor!! Gaara: -hugs Lee from behind- It’s ok. I’ll defend my own honor if I have to… Lee: -turns around and kisses Gaara deeplyShikamaru: Umm…k…-boredNaruto: Yeah. But…ha! You didn’t ask who!! Shikamaru: -thumbs up- Good job, Naruto… Zakura: Anyone else wanna be a hero? No? K, you’re all villains.

Jiraiya: WHAT?! Tsunade: YOU!! Jiraiya: AAAACK!! Tsunade: -chases-CHASE SCENEAs much as I wuffle you Maru-dono you cannot have my soul... I shall have to make my own Kabutoakatsuki-style Plushie ^_^ o and I will make plushies for hugs XD DO NOT HIT KABUTO! I am going to find where you live... *gives rope to Zabuza* this is for your Haku Question! - Does anyone else get confused by Zabuza and Zakura? zabuzazakurazabuzazakurazabuzazakurazabuzazakurazabuzazakura SEE! oo also Shino if you had to have kids who'd be the mother? And while I'm here *magics closet into room* Zakur this ish lots of outfits for you to play dress up with Shikamaru with He-Yan

Orochimaru: Aww…ok…I wanna be a villain! Kankuro: Trade ya! Orochimaru: K! Kankuro: Right on! I’m a hero now! I can manipulate thing with my puppet strings!! Gaara: We know… Kabuto: Ugh…plushies…but thanks for defending m— Zakura: -dropkicks Kabuto- WHAT NOW BITCH?! Sakura: I think we all have more than enough… Zabuza: thanks. –ties onto Haku harness-styleHaku: teehee, I’m tied up like a puppy. Naruto: -blushesSakura: Is easier not to mess them up when you can see them…aside from the demonic facial expression they’re not that similar… Kiba: I confuse them all the—oh…this is one of those stupid moments isn’t it? Shino: Yes dear. –leans him back dramatically with the cape swirling about-

Sakura: -sighs- so many happy relationships… -glares at KabutoKabuto: -tries to hide but falls on his back and because of his gay little outfit he can’t get up.Shino: Hinata. She’d definitely make the best mother. And she’s the only woman I can stand easily… Kiba: I agree! She can be our surrogate mother! Shino: K, but you don’t get to be the father. You’d just want the sex. Kiba: Dammit… Zakura: So yeah, everyone left is a minion of Orochimaru who is playing main villain! They’ve broken into a bank! Ed: WHY AM I IN THIS OUTFIT!! Tsu/Jira: I will fucking not! Zakura: Fine, you guys can be a bad-guy trio. Orochimaru: But we’re all snakes! Zakura: Deal. Tsu/Jira: fuck… Tsuande: GRAR!! –attacks Jiraiya againSakura: Why is she so mad at him? Naruto: -shrugs- I didn’t know Tsunade needed a reason for violence… Sakura: that’s true. Zakura: Fun. –pulls out random outfit- Yes! Reporter outfit! Shikamaru, you’re the citizen who is pulled in randomly to be the possible romantic interest and the heroes one te to normal world! Shikamaru: -is forced into outfit- I hate you… Shikamaru: At first I wanted to leave you alone and have you NOT hate me, but... I dare you to wear that kitty outfit for two chapters! Zakura: I shall give you margaritas! Because you're great ^^ Kabuto: I'll forgive you for what you did to Sakura, IF you tell Orochimaru you hate him, leave him and

confess your love to Sakura and kiss her. If you don't... I will drop a car on you. And if you hurt her again, you will die a painful death! Deidara: Can I hug you? -hugs anyways-

Shikamaru: Ahhk! No! Zakura: Umm, yeah. You’re a kitty up a tree. Half you go take care of the robbery, someone stay here and help Shikamaru. Shikamaru: Come near and never mind troublesome I will CLAW OUT YOUR EYES. Lee: I will save the kitty!! –rushes to save ShikaShikamaru: Your EYES. Kiba: -runs and starts beating up Kabuto with his magic stick…teehee…and then he starts to fail and Shino jumps in and saves him dramaticallyKabuto: Ugh…I so prefer my usual job… Lee: AAAAH!!! MY EYES!! Gaara: -uses sand to pull Shikamaru out of the treeShikamaru: -tries to claw Gaara’s eye but is too far awayZakura: Damn straight. –sips MargaritaKabuto: Eh, I’m a super-villian flunky…I can survive a dropped car. Kimimaro: True…but it’ll hurt. Kabuto: Not as much as my pride if I did what she’s asking… Deidara: yeah! –smiles and receives hugHT: SASUKE HAS RABIES!?!?!? FUCK! amber: thats disturbing... dont bite me. HT: -bites amberamber: AAH!! WTF!?!?!? sesshomaru: what the hell am i doing here!? HT: i captured you sesshy-chan? sesshomaru:... uh huh... HT: oh yeah! do you guys want akito? i think it died in my closet... along with some zombie puppies...

Itachi: haha! Yes! The fans are all gonna get RABIED!! Kyuubi: Haha, dog-demons…I laugh at their puny-ness. Zakura: Ok…Sassy and Dei. You guys go cure rabies, you haven’t done anything worthwhile as heroes lately.

Sasori: Fine…we set a cannon to shoot antidote… Deidara: And then we shot it into the atmosphere and it rains antidote!! Zakura: Fair enough. Deidara: YEAH!! –high-fives SasoriLucifel: You all have to save me from the mucus monsters!! Everyone: …what? Lucifel: Yeah! This is the big dramatic episode where hero and villain alike work together to vanquish a great foe! I’ll send them to you… Everyone: NO!! -The room is suddenly full of evil mucus monstersLee: YOUTH!! Gaara: -summons sunlight (cause he can, Lee designated it so) to dry out a few and Lee crunches them into dustKiba: MAGIC WAND!! –magic wand turn them into butterfliesShino: -does some mysteriously sexy stuffOrochimaru: WORM MINIONS!! ATTACK!! Kabuto: ATTACK?! I can hardly move in this outfit!! Ed: I will not serve you! The military is bad enough! Orochimaru: Shush, battle costume!! “Minions”: -Are all now dressed in tight white spandex outfits with fun armorKabuto: This’ll do… -THEY ATTACK AND ITS AWESOME! THERE ARE LAZER BEAMS AND GUN AND SUPERPOWERS AN D FINALLY ALL THE MUCUS IS GONE!!Everyone: …

Ed: I hate my life. –goes and is emoKabuto: No shit kid. Kimimaro: I kind of like this outfit… Gaara: I kind of still hate mine… Zakura: Yeah, we’ll take Akito I guess…he’s pretty cool… Lee: and not very youthful…I should fix him!! A.H.S: Squue! Finally! Lee and Gaara ish together! -Frowns and bitchsmacks Kabuto- Stop being a jerk and it your feelings to Saku-chan!! And Chimey had her baby!! A.H.S: -Blinks- Saku-chan! Do you have any other secretive siblings we should know about? Daimos: -Smirks lightly, winking at Dei-chan.I'm coming for you!

Gaara: Man…so many people…-shies away from attentionKabuto: Why are we back in the gay outfits?! Orochimaru: Cause you’re not fighting, duh! Things have gone back to normal and we’re villains again! Kabuto: And no. My only feeling on that mater is that she’s annoying… Sakura: You have no right, jackass. Kabuto: -blushes and hidesSakura: No…I don’t. Shikamaru: One is bad enough…-shuddersDeidara: Hi Daimos. Yeah. –wavesSasori: -gives fingerSakura: Congrats on the baby anyway… your guesses are no where near. (clicks fingers)Now Kyuubi going to be a cute little labrador puppy for the whole chapter AND he can't retaliate or he doesn't get another fling with ninetails. Hey Deidara, if Sasori lies does anything grow (suggestive smirk)

Shikamaru: How is my guess nowhere near? Fan-girl worlds don’t count. Zakura: They do if the fans want them to. Shikamaru: -rolls eyes-

Kyuubi: Huh, well, no I’m not a fucking puppy. I was already. Fuck off. And if I want to shag Ninetails again I WILL…In just don’t want to. Deidara: Naw, if he did it wouldn’t fit…he’s huge. –smiles- Yeah… Sasori: -blushdeidara is my favorite guy in naruto he is so cute! lol. What kind of girls do you like? i really want to go out with you! lol.

Deidara: haha, flattered, but I don’t like girls at all. Boobs are gross, yeah. And I like the man-parts too much. Plus, I like to be on the bottom, and girls on top just make me giggle, yeah. Sakura: …is that it for this question? Everyone: Umm…yeah… Sakura: Ok…moving on… 1. Wingo: Aah!-crashes through roofTM3: what the? Wingo: ow...I'm leaving now... TM3:no! stay! I get lonely! and no bad words! it's against muffin policy. Wingo: muffin policy? what the f-TM3: I SAID NO BAD WORDS! Wingo: O.O 2. TM3: um...now you made me forget my question! argh...oh! it was a gift! GIANT WHEEL OF SWISS CHEESE! here! Muffinator 3

Kiba: Aww…muffin gets lonely… Shino: But you never will. –hugs him with capeZakura: Hey muffin! FUCKSHITTINGWHOREASSBITCHCUNTBASTARDFUCKADOODLEDOO!! Sakura: -face-palmNaruto: DOOD! CHEESE! Kiba: YAAAAAY!!! Kankuro: Cheese? –runs over- CHEESE!!! Naruto: We should have a cheese hero! Kan/Kina: YEAH!! Sakura: Umm…

Zakura: Ok. Umm, Ed. You hate being a villain. Be the cheese hero. Ed: no. Zakura: Then why are you wearing orange spandex and cheese? Naruto: WE SHOULD BE A TEAM OF FOOD!! Ed: NO! I refuse to do my hero duties! Zakura: Then you explode. Ed: What? Zakura: yeah. If you’re a hero and you refuse to use your powers you explode. Ed: …fine. I strive to bring…cheese…to children… Zakura: Good enough. =OwO= omg yay lee and gaara are together! finally! anyway...questions Zakura: i dare you to lock your self and hinata in the closet together for the whole chapter both of you in nothing but you under garments...and you can't touch her at all. XD Kurenai: (gives chocolate) because your cool! but you have to share with hinata or else bad things will happen everyone else: whoes a virgin!?!? no lieing!! MiniDeath P.S, (throws in starfire and raven from teentitans)

Lee: So many people are happy for us! Gaata: -is embarrassed and adorably shyZakura: YES!! –finishes reading question- NO! Hinata: Oh…uh…well, since it’ll just be us girl… Ed: GO! –shoves them both inKiba: That was eager… Ed: I deserve revenge… Kurenai: -throws part of the chocolate in the closet and devours whats leftTsunade: -currently has Jiraiya is a headlock- I’m certainly not. Jiraiya: -wheezes-

Sakura: We already went over this… Zakura: I get laid, Sakura doesn’t. Yes, we know she sucks. Sakura: …hate you. Haku: I’m not! Ed: That’s just…wrong… Haku: But it’s with Zabuza…it’s perfectly right! Ed: -shuddersStarfire: Friends! You are all heroes yes? Orochimaru: Naw, I’m a villain! Starfire: -gasps- Villian! We must! Raven: No. We mustn’t. There is no point…these guys obviously are worthless as villains AND heroes. Starfire: I think not! Everyone has powers of worth! You, little orange child, what do you do? Naruto: I eat ramen!! Starfire: …this is a sad, sad day for hero-dom… Raven: Yeah… Deidara: Yeah! Raven: fuck off. God it’s good to curse…. Starfire: Cursing is not a role-model like trait! Raven: Fuck rolemodel. I’m only in it to spite Dad. Starfire: -sighsZakura: -walks up to Raven and high-fives herRaven: sup?

Zakura: Not much. Raven: Cool… 1. Shikamaru: What would you think about Shika/Ten? I mean, she's not too pretty or too ugly, and is fairly nondescript. Plus, some of your massive popularity could bleed over to her and make her a recognizable character...And YOU could have the mediocre life you always wanted. Go laziness.

Shikamaru: I don’t want anyone that boring. Then we would both just disappear into obscurity…besides I’m more into men. Deidara: Meow. Yeah. Shikamaru: -sighs- why is everyone trying to get me with girls lately anyway? Lee: You must be more open about your sexual preference! I am BI!!! Gaara: and mine. –hugsRaven: So, are you like…all gay? Zakura: umm, 50% gay, 49% bi, and 1% straight. Raven: Seriously? Zakura: -shrugs- it’s the basic idea. Starfire: But men and women are meant to love each other and reproduce and— Oro/Ita/Dei/Zabu/Shin/Gaa/Zaku: -beats Starfire to purple/orange pulp and pour her out the windowRaven: Thanks. I’ve been wanting that for a long time… Zakura: I’m the same way with pinky over there… Raven: Ugh, what a ditz… Ginger: My cousin thinks 'lolz' means 'laughing over lazy zebras' Bell: I LAUGH at you zebras Zebras: >8U.. Yeah ok -falls asleepGinger: Lazy bastards. Anywhos, is Itachi's mangekyou used forBell: NO. Just, no. Don't ask that. Ginger: Fine. -huff- For anyone who wants to answer.. if you had to save your /closest/ companion from a fire but end up dying yourself, what would you do? I'D bring popcorn and watch.. mm, fire.

Naruto: DUDE!! Lazy zebras!! Kiba: that’s crazy….CRAZY AWESOME!!

Lee: I MUST RE-ENERGIZE THEM WITH YOUTH!! Itachi: Ask! ASK!! Or I’ll start spouting off stuff you never even dreamed of. Oh, and I’d let him die. Kimimaro: Die for him Zakura: We’re gonna do votes. Who would let their friend die? Ita/Dei/Sas/Oro/Kyuu: -raise handsZakura: All right…Fairly predictable…except you Kabuto. You’d die for Oro? Kabuto: No. Zakura: huh? Kabuto: Never mind. Deidara: I’d bring popcorn too! Do you have any idea how dramatic it is when someone in the akatsuki dies?! Yeah?! Ita/Oro: YEAH!! Shinsou ~ If you can another Anime besides Naruto, what would it be? Tengen Wabisuke Kankuro: who the fuck in shinsou? Kiba: I dunno…he probably needs to be bitch-smacked. Sakura: Moving on… Orochimaru: your outer skin has peeled off a few times in the show. Is it rotting? Do you smell like rotten flesh? Who there thinks Orochimaru smells funky huh? Angel: Do you actually do d and d?! that's just SO dorky! You don't seem like the type!

Orochimaru: Naw. It’s fake. I use fake skin to make myself look like my old self, but underneath I’m just my host body. But I’m so pretty… Itachi: But it’s kind of creepy… Orochimaru: Oh yeah. One time I was having sex and the person like…clawed me, and it ripped my skin, and he FREAKED out. I was laughing all night. Deidara: that’s awesome yeah…and he does smell funky! But it’s like ointments and stuff, yeah…

Sasori: And snake. He smells likes snake. –wrinkles noseLucifel: Yeah I do!! It’s awesome! Every weekend! My group is my absolute favorite group of all time!! D&D FOR THE WIN!!! Sakura: Nerd… Lucifel: Hello? Writing fanfiction? Sakura: -sighsLucifel: K, I’m so sorry it’s so very late…but shit happened, I was deathly ill, I had a comic to write, and school and work became hella busy. But hey! I should be more settled next week!

Ask Sakura 43 Lucifel: Hey-oh. What’s up? Getting right to work today! Hm...Something must have gone wrong with the Shipping and Handling. Not to worry! *Fixes Metal Sasuke* That should do it! ...I hope. Naruto: You have your own harem in my ask fic! Metal Sasuke: How do you like it over there, my creation? Kiba: Have a master ball (gives master ball) Orochimaru: For some reason, you are hunted by Chibi demonic Mongooses in my ask fic. I don't know why... Lucifel: Here, you can use the Souledge and Soulcaliber for a while. Edward: You have GOT to see these funny videos of you on Youtube! Just type in 'Edward is Darkwing Duck?' And 'Ed Elric is Captain Planet!' You will LAUGH! Oh, and WHO WANTS MONEY! (Throws a Million dollers in the room) Catch you next continue! Metal Sasuke: That beith much more desirable. I feeleth much more alive than ever I have before, indeed!

Zakura: Damn, fucking shakesperian…

Sakura: -sighsNaruto: Dude…that’s awesome…I want one here too!! Saku/Zaku/Kure/Tsu: NO! Naruto: Aww… Hinata: -blushes savagelyZakura: God…after that excursion in the closet…I need something to take out sexual frustration on… Tsunade: So go find Anko…We don’t have time for your horny whining. God, children. Jiraiya: Can you stop killing me please? Tsunade: No. –pokes with kunaiKiba: Sweet. –storesM. Sasuke: I thinkest it beith very pleasant!! Naruto: Huh? Orochimaru: WAA?! They’re still after me? SHIT!! Uh…just keep them there ok? I definitely never provoked them. Tsunade: And Jiraiya’s never peeked on a girl’s hotspring. Orochimaru: Are you sure? Tsunade: -sighLucifel: Dude, right on. I’ll definitely find A use…not now though, we’re going basic style for this chapter. Kiba: So…I can get out of this outfit now? Sakura: Dude, we’ve all been out for a while… Kiba: Oh…ehehe… Ed: Yes, PLEASE, continue making fun of me and humiliating me until I DIE!! I’m really enjoying it! Fuck off all of you!

Orochimaru: Only if you me… Ed: -sobsTsunade: -gets a hungry glint in her eyesEveryone: MONEY!!! –rushes around desperately to grab itTsunade: -pulls out massive team-rocket-esque missile-launcher- ALRIGHT YOU PUNKS!! FORK IT OVER OR DIE!! Everyone: -forks overKyuubi: No. Tsunade: What?? Kyuubi: -waves wad of dollars- I said no. Tsunade: You don’t even need money. Kyuubi: So? I don’t want you to have it. Tsunade: -fires missileKyuubi: -is undamaged- what next? Tsunade: …I’ll get you yet….don’t go to sleep foxy… Kimimaro: The fuck? You’re scared of DUCKS?! You obviously haven’t been attacked by a swan then. Fecking vicious vermin.. Awesome Evil Peoples: Howdy thar. Any of you interested in any countries out there? My plan to take over the world with penguins is already in motion. Deidara: You said that you’d let your friend die in the fire.. What if it was Sasori? But if you or Zakura ever want to come me way.. Well, the offers there. I’m a Bi female, btw. Kimimaro: Yeah, you just don’t usually see ducks attacking. They have you fooled. All of you…but I know the truth.

Gaara: Kimi, you’re weirding me out. Kimimaro: Oh go snog your boyfriend. Gaara: OK! –tackles LeeM. Sasuke: Ah, youthful ion and earthly delight… Zakura: zip it.

Orochimaru: Can I have Iceland? Itachi: Can I have a place with endless people for mass-murdering? Deidara: You can’t have ALL of Africa, yeah… Sakura: -gapeZakura: Nice one. Sakura: You can’t SAY that!! That’s WRONG!! Lucifel: I feel dirty for typing that…MUDBATH!! Sakura: -face-palmsItachi: Now seriously, penguins? Everyone does penguins…you need something unpredictable. Like Demons. Sakura: Oh come on, how is that unpredictable? Itachi: Because it’s so clichéd no-one thinks anyone would go through with it. Sakura: Oh, and what about your sheep? Itachi: Sheep ARE demons!! Sakura: ok…We’re done here… Deidara: no way! I wanna live, yeah! I love him but I wouldn’t die for him, yeah. Sasori: thanks… OMG YOU DID NOT JUST DROP KICK KABUTO-KUN! *glares* Your gonna make me come in there! do not make me abuse my powers as a fanfic author and steal your food AND sake... I will do it... and then I will force you all to wear... THE... *looks around for idea's* VEGGIETALES OUTFITS! You have been warned... Kabuto-kun, if you had a choice to stay in there, or come live with me for the rent of hugging you when ever I feel like it which would you pick? ... your happiness depends on your answer! Kabuto who's your closest friend that you would die for that you didn't tell us? He-Yan -kisses for everyoneZakura: Omg, yeah he WAS just drop-kicked!

Kabuto: Please don’t do it again…and thanks for the defense I guess but I’d want to stay with Orochimaru and…uh…and… Shikamaru: -whispers in Kabuto’s ear-

Kabuto: It is not a close friend that I would die for. –gives Shikamaru the thumbs up- and of course I would die for Orochimaru-sama. Zakura: Shikamaru, no fair using your loophole finesse to help others. You’re a bastard. Shikamaru: -smirksKiba: Yeah! That’s not fair! Shikamaru: There’s no rule stating I can’t. Zakura: There is now. Kyuubi: I beg to differ. I’ll personally defend the kid. Shikamaru: -confused but going with itGlad you used my theme suggestion! Neji and Kankurou: how do you feel about your recent neglect in this story? Metal Sasuke: You sure shut up for a while last chapter. Your batteries must be running low. (Replaces batteries, resets to Cowboy accent mode) Gee, my giant eyeball worked out so well last time... (adds in Giant Left Hand, because obviously more oversized floating body parts are needed) Shino: It was your idea…-glares- You will die.

Kiba: As will we all someday. Shino: Don’t pretend being smart… Kiba: -poutsNeji: I’m pissed. I’ve been here for a long-ass time and I deserve attention dammit! Kankuro: I was never really meant to be here and so long as I can stare at Gaara all I like… Gaara: Hey, I have a boyfriend now. Lee: And he is mine so you can not have him! Gaara: -yayNeji: Yeah well I WANT attention!! Kiba: We know already… Metal Sasuke: YEEHAW Ya’ll I am rarin’ to go! I got me energy like grand-pappy’s chilli when Gramma was done spikin’ it with her secret fire sauce!!

Itachi: Isn’t he supposed to have at least minor relation to Sasuke? Cuz we never had cilli…ever. Metal Sasuke: -tries riding Tsunade’s lifeguard chair like a rodeo bullOrochimaru: DUDE! I’m gonna use it as a throne! –positions hand into a seat and lounges- I’m so badass. Deidara: I want a TUUURN!! Yeah! Neji: NO!! I get a turn because I deserve attention!! –tries to pull Oro out of chairOrochimaru: no. Fuck off. Neji: -sits and pouts- Yeah well everyone knows what people use their left hands for anyway… Orochimaru: you’re not gonna freak me out kid…-licks handNeji: Oo kinky hot… HT: so... do i not have rabies now? amber: i dont have rabies anymore. HT: anyway, ill try to help you get more then 100 reviews!! but um... im gonna check that fanfic out... you know, to see how good it is... can i have metal sasuke? ILL GIVE YOU ANYTHING! akii-chan is a girl. not a boy! i noticed your mistake when you said he... sesshomaru: waah! your mean! -runs off cryingHT: you scared seshy off! T.T amber: have you even noticed how long this is? HT: no, actually. im too busy doing my math at the same time... wtf is 2x+93(6-2)!!? Deidara: You’re welcome about the rabies, yeah.

Itachi: We should give them back again…teehee. Neji: I WANT RABIES!! Kiba: -sigh- No, you’re thinking of HIV or something. You can’t get rabies through sex… Neji: Fuck off. Zakura: no, sorry.

Metal Sasuke: It’s a wild one a-right!! YEEHAW!! –tumbles into pool and because the metal is so heavy he gets pulled to the bottomZakura: He’s drowned…right on. Seems to be the death of choice. Lucifel: 100? …umm… Zakura: You know it was a typo…stupid whore. Lucifel: -glares- And anyway, if this Fruit’s basket Akito he is indeed a boy. Deidara: Yay, bishie! Yeah! Itachi: Dude, if Sesshomaru has run off, can we find him? Sesshomaru: Hello puny creatures. I amm Sesshoma— Kyuubi: Bitch, don’t start. I will rip out your THROAT. Sesshomaru: Bring it. Kyuubi: -lungesSesshomaru: -draws swordKyuubi: what you need a sword? Weak. –becomes surrounded by demonic chakraSesshomaru: What? Kyuubi: -dominatesSesshomaru: -lies twitching on the groundKiba: -catches with masterball- YEAH! I CAUGHT A SESSHOMARU!! Itachi: -twitches- you keep that shit away from me… Orochimaru: Sex is always the answer!! Jiraiya: hellz yeah!! Ceyx:Anyway, I'm sorry about being so absent, school's been a bitch. Ashlynn: and you're too much of a pussy to review Ceyx: It's been weird ever since Ashlynn came out of the closet. Ceyx: *pours chocolate syrup on Hinata* Now Kurenai, are you straight? Ashlynn: I hope not, waht with the hot ass and all. Ceyx: I actually have a serious question here. You see...one of uh my friends from

school...got bustier and...*pokes index fingers togeter in a very Hinataesque manner* Ashlynn: And what nii-san is trying to say is how do you get into her pants? Ceyx: -.- No I was trying to ask how do I compliment without getting her to kick my ass? Ashlynn: Kurenai, what happened to that tazer Ceyx gave you? And Why do you get such little screentime? Lucifel: that’s my daughter, exploring her sexuality! Though you should tone it down, love, the girls and guys like a little subtlety…

Kurenai: Yes…come to the pool room and clean up Hinata. –takes the traumatized Hinata to the poolZakura: I’ll uh— Sakura: no you wont. Uh…just umm…put a disclaimer before the statement? Itachi: no, no, like this: -ahem- DAYUM HO!! YOU IS LOOKIN’ FLY WITH THEM BADONKADONKS BUSTIN’ OUTTA YO SHIRT!! That’s how you guys talk now, right? Orochimaru: That should work.. Tsunade: -while digging her heal into Jiraiya’s spine- Just don’t do what Jiraiya did. Orochimaru: -snicker- that was hilarious! Sakura: What happened Tsunade-sensei? Tsunade: Well, after he stopped his ten minutes of silent gawking he pointed and shouted “WHERE DID YOU STEAL THOSE FROM?!” and then I kicked his ass. Jiraiya: yeow… Kurenai: Tucked away. I prefer my skillet…but it’s good to have around. Although with Tsunade here there’s a lot less call for use…Also, I don’t mind little screen-time…I think it helps my sanity. Zakura: We should fix that… w00t! Awesome makeover Dei-Dei-chan!! *gives Dei a special box* this box can give you whatever you want,...I think... or it could *cough-cause-a-giant-black-hole-to-form-and-suck-you-into-anotherdimension-cough* ^.^ Oh and Itachi did you know Sais been sleeping with Sasuke in your absence. Neji why is it your hair stays so neat? June x

Naruto: It is not awesome…being sexy itches. –scratches buttSakura: You’re ruining the effect of the make-over…

Deidara: Thanks…I’ll just…put this away…OR!! I’LL OPEN IT RIGHT NOW YEAH!!! –opensEveryone: NOOO!!! -frog hops out of box, croaks a few times and hops awayDeidara: Boring...yeah…-throws box into a corner where it begins faintly hummingItachi: I’m not surprised. Sasuke’s such an adorable little ho… Shikamaru: Adorable yeah…-scribbles madly to Choji on the letter-thing which he got backNeji: it’s— Kiba: Whore gel. Whore’s use it so their hair stays neat and they don’t have to re-do it between lays, Neji: No. It’s natural. I hate you. Naruto: Holy crap~! your sexy! it's the end of the world! (runs around screaming until she runs into a wall)...ow Itachi: here (give a strange shaped bottle) be careful in you drink to much or to little...well lets just say you better hope someone send you some shaving cream and a razor! also make sure your thinking of the hair on your head when you drink it! Everyone: All of you have to wear frilly dresses for the rest of the chapter except for the following. Zubaza, Zakura, Kisame, Kyuubi, and Jiraiya...on second thought jiraiya you have to wear one to, it will make me laugh. XD MiniDeath (P.S. throws in ouran high school host club)

Naruto: It is not!! You’re mean! –sulks…sexily…Itachi: Right on…-concentratesDeidara: Teehee…head.. Itachi: -snrrk…CHOKE- gag….gag…-sits heaving and choking violentlyKisame: -runs over and pats back- I love it when you heave. Itachi: -gives fingerKisame: -smirks- later… Itachi: -tries to glare but just keeps chokingOrochimaru: yay! Badass with a frilly dress!!

Jiraiya: Good for you…I can’t say the same. Ed: frills and automail do NOT mix dammit… Deidara: But you look so cute, yeah. Ed: Screw you. Tsunade: I’m so not happy. –kicks JiraiyaJiraiya: Why take it out on me! Tsunade: You know why. Kiba: I found akamaru for you (drops akamaru in the room) Tsunade: Shizune said to give you this (Hand's Tsunade a big pile of paperwork with a pen) she said you had to do it. Gives a cookie to everyone and replenishes the store's of food in the fridge. Anyways bye all ~~Taki-Kun~~

Kiba: Man…all the teasing and… Akamaru: WOOF! Kiba: …It…worked? Akamaru: rowf! –pounces and licks face furiouslyKiba: -cries happily- AKAMARU!! Shino: -pats Akamaru’s backTsunade: Dammit…I’ll just…pretend I never got this…-drops into pool- That felt good. –pats hands- Now where did Jiraiya go?! Jiraiya: -is hiding in terrorKiba: FOOD!! –he and Akamaru rush to the fridge, barking happily…both of them… barkingSakura: Since you were all (and I quote) "-gapes in horny shock-" I dare you to make-out, FULL make-out with Naruto. Itachi: If I hugged you... would you hurt me? Metal Sasuke: -slaps- Stop acting WEIRD! Sakura: umm…-looks at Naruto who is looking in turn rather excited…and still sexy…- ok.

-they make out-

Sakura: Whoa…you even kiss better now!! Naruto: It felt pretty good…-reelsKabuto: -clenches teeth and cracks knucklesKimimaro: You ok? Kabuto: huh, oh fine…why wouldn’t I be? Kimimaro: …ok…whatever. –throws hands up in surrenderItachi: -pulls out kunai and holds discreetly- no…-looks around innocently- wanna hug? Metal Sasuke: -gurglegurgleZakura: Aww , man…he can’t die down there…cuz he’s a robot…no fun… Orosama! You wouldn't save Jiraiya?! Why not? Jiraiya do you love Orosama? Shikamaru: God you are good at being annoying. And I can't think of anyway to be annoying back. -thinks long and hard- nope I got nothing. Will you fiure out who Naruto's crush is for me? I'll give you chocolate (just don't let Kurenai see) Orochimaru: Because I like being alive. But I mean, if had already learned all the jutsu…no, I dunno…I really like living…

Jiraiya: Uh…well after that… Tsunade: -looks around for where he’s speaking fromJiraiya: I did once. Anyway… Orochimaru: -small smileShikamaru: I don’t like chocolate that much. But all of Naruto’s crushes are pretty dang obvious. I can tell you that much. Hinata: -crosses fingersKurenai: I’ll figure it out for you!! Hinata: Oh Kurenai-sensei… Kankuro: -sends chakra strings into the pool and pulls M.Sasuke out as a puppet- yay! – makes him slap Naruto’s assNaruto: WHAT THE HELL?!

Kankuro: -making M. Sasuke talk- Sorry pardner, I guess some of my inner-workings that make me act like Sasuke kicked in. Naruto: Oo Kankuro: -snickersNeji: Have you been in bed with every person from your clan? Shikamaru: that you're in the kitty costume! And if you tell me what I wanted to know a few chapters ago, I may let you out of the costume. But only if I'm happy with the answer! Haku: Don't you ever feel annoyed with Zabuza keeping you away from all other men? -Throws in blankets and pillows- It's gonna get cold, so there you go! Neji: No, I have not. Just a couple. I’m not THAT slutty. I have some standards, and not all the Hyuuga’s are as good-looking as me and Hinata.

Kiba: Riiiight. Akamaru, is Neji a slut? Akamaru: ARF! –translated: are you kidding? DUH!!Kiba: That’s a good boy!! –hugsShikamaru: Now I’m actually in a frilly dress…I almost want the kitty costume back… Akamaru: WOOF! WOOF!! ARRRRFF!! –Cat?! Where’s a cat?!!Kiba: -pats- cool down, nowhere here. Akamaru: Ruff. –oh, right onHaku: No. I don’t need anyone else. Zabuza: -holds close- Damn right… Tsunade: Such a healthy relationship….-rolls eyesOrochimaru: Yay!! Pillows and blankets for cuddling!! WHEE!! Jiraiya: -dashes under Orochimaru’s blanket and hides…slightly wierded out by the hand thing1.Tsunade: What is it like to have a subordinate like Shizune that tries to make you do paperwork all the time? 2. Kurenai: Are there any other people that you think are responsible adults that you'd like to have in there with you? Tsunade: Can’t you just figure that one on your own? What is with these people? These are some of the most retarded questions—

Sakura: Oh just answer. If we complained about every little thing— Kiba: We’d be Neji! –holds out handAkamaru: -high-fives- arf. –wordKurenai: Asuma would be a nice change…even with the awkward past thing…or Gai… mmmm Gai… Lee: I would also enjoy seeing Gai-sensei very much!! Gaara: Please don’t make out with him while I’m still going to be kissing you… Lee: Of course not!! Infidelity is not youthful!! I shall be eternally loyal!! Gaara: -blushes happily-sniff- I have a cold...and I'm too lazy to right "TM3" anymore...-sniffWingo: eww...a cold? stay away from me! you're a car! you can't...-sneezes- you can't catch human diseases! (that rhymed) 1. Wingo: didn't you notice that Zakura just violated muffin policy like...8 times in a row? it was only seven. bassturd isn't a bad word. (that also rhymed) Wingo: yes it is! no, it's not. a bass is a fish, and a turd is another word for poop! when you call someone what you would spell "b-a-s-t-a-r-d", you're calling them fish poop! Wingo:...who agrees with the fish poop thing? 2. anyway! two days ago this girl ate a fruit snack that another girl put in her mouth. -holds up fruit snack…licks fruit snack- one of you have to eat this. I don't care who. just someone. it's a dare. -The Muffinator 3 Ah..ah...ah-SNEEZE! Wingo: -gets sneezed on- O_O Lucifel: aww, Muffin is sick too…don’t let your mucus monsters out!!

Kiba: But if that happens I can always save the day by schooltime!! Kurenai: Just stop…please… Kiba: -innocent smilingItachi: Only a fan could get a car sick…and…umm…no. Deidara: That makes perfect sense!! Kiba: yeah…I can see it…good point.

Zakura: No. Bastard is a bad word referring to someone who is fatherless…like Kurenai’s kid because she wont let her baby-daddy see him. Kurenai: -goes pale- how did you— Zakura: Bitch please, I’m omnipotent. Kurenai: -sitsKiba: who’s kid is it? Shino/Aka: -smack for idiocyHinata: -hugs KurenaiZakura: Hey Neji you want attention right!! Neji: -looks up from trying to seduce Sasori- yeah!! Zakura: Eat this. Neji: Umm…ok…-eats- why did –oh god…-starts coughing violently and he has a fever and is stuffed up- I’mma kill you all…bastards… Zakura: good luck with that. Kiba: So, Akamaru, what do you think of becoming the greatest pokemon master ever AND the master of the Kiba Kards!? Akamaru: Aroooof, bark, bark!! –WOOOOOH!!! That sounds awesome! I will take down them pokemon like nothing else!!Kiba: RIGHT ON!! Shino: -face-palmsTo Hinata-hime: Hey could you please strip down to your undergarments and stay that way till the end of this chapter. To Itachi: -holds in vomit- That looked nasty when Kisame hugged you. He looks like Jaws. To Naruto: What wine would go best with ramen? To Sakura and Ino: Can you both make out? BYE BYE WOOF! Hinata: NO!! –hides behind Kurenai-

Kurenai: Just cause I’m shocked doesn’t mean I wont kill you… Tsunade: Oh yeah, Kurenai, know how I was supposed to be watching your kid? Kurenai: Ye—oh god. Tsunade: Well…I left it pretty out in the open so Shizune should find it and being so responsible and all… Kurenai: -trembles in horrorKisame: Oh yeah? Well when I get my jaws on your FACE and kill you we’ll see how you feel… Itachi: ehehe…yeah…sure…-scoots awayNaruto: Uh…umm…Ramen…wine… :) Sakura: So very brilliant. Naruto: Dude…that would be amazing! I should make that!! Kiba: I will totally help! Lee: Sounds youthful1! Shin/Gaa: -sighSakura: I…NO! Absolutely not!! That is sick and wrong! You perv! You— Shikamaru: so you physically can not make out with anyone? Sakura: Well no I can but— Shikamaru: As can Ino. Therefore the answer is yes, but you WILL not with each other. Sakura: Oh…I see… Shikamaru: I mean really, you would think you’d have learned by now… Hmm...What can I do to be sexy..Oh, I know! *Gives a sexy, devilish, evil grin, that would cause any normal women to swoon* Kyuubi: *Clears throat, before beginning to chuckle darkly, raising to laughing evilly, and then full blown, unadulterated, pure evil, soul destroying laughter, before stopping after a couple a minutes* So? What did you think? Kabuto: *Takes out a steel mallet with an evil grin, before hitting him with it* Everyone: I ask you all, except Kyuubi, and the other bad asses, because it's to easy for you, to take care of the toss in I'm tossing in. See if you can knock him out, -wihtout- killing him. P.S. *Tosses in a Predator, from Predator, after teaching him everythign about ninja, and all the ninja

techniques I can. Which is at least 2/3 as much as Orochimaru. And deactivating his self destruct thing* The greatest prey is the silver haired one, with the glasses. Have fun! Lucifel: WHOOOOOOO!!! THIS IS REVIEW NUMBER 666 BITCHES!!! RANDOM DEATH METAL MOMENT!!

-everyone is dressed in fish-net, leather, and denim, with fire spouting from the floor and dragons flying about and random evil screams coming from the backgroundKyuubi: My ROOM is more death-metal than this…amateur. Naruto: this itches even MORE. –Pulls at tight pantsHinata: WHAA!! I don’t like this! My shirt is practically see-through! Lucifel: Whatever, I was busy swooning over my husband anyway. –SwoonsKiba: -dodges a pillar of fire- this is gay…but I do like the electric guitar solo in the background… Kyuubi: Not bad on the laughter. But that Muwahaha is way more evil than buwahaha, and focus more on a deep growling sound than a cackle (which you only slipped into occasionally, which can add the right flavor when you get experienced enough to experiment with that) because cackling is more ‘wicked witch’ than evil demon. Otherwise, not bad for a human kid. Lucifel: I has the best husband ever. He gave me my 666th review!! Only 333 more to go for my goal!! Zakura: You realize you only have…slightly more than a quarter of the year to pull that off? Lucifel: I’ll find a way… Kabuto: What the F—OWW! –es outSakura: Ack! –Catches as he falls…and then drops him- bitch. Kimimaro: Poor thing. –Walks over and tends toKiba: Aww….shit… Predator: -howls and attacksEveryone: FUCK!! (Syringe flies out of nowhere and injects green liquid into Deidara) NO! I'm sorry Dei-kun! Wait... (Gently pulls out syringe) it says ...muscle growth serum. WHO THE FUCK would carry stuff like this around! Wait. It says that there is a side effect of being able to change your appearance. Who here has heard of doctor who? (throws in a Dalek and cyberman from doctor who)

Deidara: URK!! –Falls backwards twitchingSasori: Deidara!! Who will I use as a shield?! I’m flammable wood here! –Dodges another fiery pillar of the devilDalek: YOU ARE AN ENEMY OF THE DALEKS!! YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED!! Cyberman: I am Cyberman I— Kyuubi: -disintegrates cyberman- were never that tough. –Shakes head at the patheticnessKisame: -douses some flames so Itachi can get through to the pool where everyone is running…Predator in hot pursuitDalek: -aims at Sasori- you will be EXTERMINATED!! Deidara: RWARR!!! –jumps up, a mass of blonde hair and muscle, lands on top of the Dalek where the stupid thing cant fire, and forces it with his new muscles to turn around and fire at the Predator…who is exterminated and then Deidara proceeds to break the Dalek into pieces ignoring Sakura as she runs back through the fire, singing her clthes and hair to grab Kabuto and drag him to safetyMeanwhile, the box that has been sitting in a corner ticking softly explodes with alternate-dimensional energy and everything goes blank Lucifel: See you next week!! Sorry if this chapter was off…I took a pretty no-frills justanswers approach, I hope that didn’t dry it out too much. See you next week! Ask Sakura 44 Lucifel: So, after the explosion everyone was knocked off their feet and tossed around in a vortex of explosive energy until everything abruptly came to a stand-still and one by one they got to their feet to survey their surroundings. Sakura is still hold Kabuto, even as he wakes up, making an awkward set-up with her having her arms around and him trying to badly fake continuing unconsciousness. They stand in an empty white space. Up, down, left, right, all white. There is ground to stand on, so it’s as if their in a room of some sort, but walls and ceiling are impossible to distinguish even when throwing attacks in all directions. Even the floor seems an illusions cause attacks just go on, and disperse. Deidara: I’m better now, yeah. –smileTsunade: This is re-goddam-diculous. We had a pretty good set-up in that other room and now you’ve all gone and blown it all away. Way to fucking go.

Zakura: Actually, I think we’re in a different dimension inside the box…right on. Sakura: Well, how are we supposed to get back?! Kiba: Wait, wait, maybe in this world we don’t HAVE to answer questions!! Naruto actually looks hot 0.o wow your right, I don't let anyone know I read fanfiction. Hey you guys what makes someone a nerd? My friend got me started on watching Helsing so I'll throw Hellsing in the room. who has tattoos? Has anyone already asked that? If they have I'm sorry angel.

Kiba: Dammit. Naruto: It’s not that shocking!! Sakura: that it’s lasted this long is though…-eyes NarutoKabuto: -scowls and sulksOrochimaru: Well, ok. I know about this from watching the sound five and Jiraiya and his friends… Nerdy things include writing fanfiction, playing role-playing video games and RP dice games, and card games like Magic the Gathering and Yu-Gi-Oh and that kind of shit. But the thing is, different people do these things. It basically breaks down to geeks and nerds. Geeks are aware of how dorky the things they do are, and laugh it off and continue doing it because they CHOOSE to do so. Nerds usually fall into doing these things because either they think they’re cool (gasp)— Kabuto: HEY! They can be! Orochimaru: --and/or it’s the only group that will accept them, because for all their other flaws nerds and geeks and dorks tend to be the most accepting types of people. Nerds tend to be more annoying too. The types to trash-talk while playing Yu-Gi-Oh with phrases like “you haven’t begun to see the power of my deck!!” and so on. Tsunade: That’s about right. Kurenai: -nodsKimimaro: -turning to Kabuto- Ha, nerd. Kabuto: So are YOU!! Kimimaro: Uh, no. I’m a geek. Nerd by choice. You’re the DM. The one who set it up. NERD. Kabuto: Don’t do this to me Kimi…please…

Kimimaro: K. –hugsHellsing: What on earth is going on here? Zakura: YES!! SEXY ORGANIZATION-RUNNING WOMAN IN A SUIT!!! –tacklesHellsing: Mrow. Well hello there…. Sakura: So disturbed… Kiba: It was asked! But it’s HILARIOUS so we’ll bring it up again! SHIKAMARU HAS A TAT ON HIS ASS!!! Shikamaru: hate you. He got me drunk, he talked me into getting a tattoo…I regret it immensely. Kiba: Who did? Shikamaru: the person I was hanging out with at the time. Fuck off. Tsunade: the sannin all have tattoos. Itachi: Well we all know tha— Tsunade: NOT on our faces. Itachi: …do tell. Tsunade: -shrugs- Nah. Just throwing that out there. Itachi: Well…Orochimaru’s been naked before… Tsunade: He probably just doesn’t bother keeping it when he changes bodies…-suddenly looks very solemn, and goes quietKabuto: What about when we were all in the shower? We didn’t see anything on Jiraiya. Itachi: Jiraiya’s OLD. Were YOU eye-balling that? Kabuto: Well…no… Itachi: Good. Zakura: Ok, so here’s the deal. Hellsing: Little girl I am NOT done with you…-reaches for her-

Zakura: In a minute. Soul Caliber and Soul Edge can grant their wielder whatever they want. Lucifel has them. We’ll hold a tournament and whoever wins gets them and can (preferably) get us out of here…or, those they wish. And besides that, probably manipulate the situation to whatever they please. Sound good? Everyone: WHOOO!!! Kiba: Bout time we got to kick some ass!! Zakura: All right. So, random pairs, the first two winners face off in the next round, and so on like that. I’m gonna preside over this thing as a judge. Get ready. This’ll be fucking awesome. *Sexy animal growl at Lucifiel* I'm 666, and married to you. That's awesome. Kyuubi: Ah, thank you. And for your reward. *Drops a tied up, and bound Aslan in front of you* Those ropes are invincible to everyone but you. Have fun. Kabuto: Since you pissed Sakura off, I've decided to torture you until she forgives you. Today's torture is being made into a woman. *Snaps fingers. Kabuto turns into a woman* Hehe. P.S. *Tosses in Yoda*

Lucifel: Yes, hello. –cuddles- You are awesome. Zakura: FIRST ROUND!! AKAMARU VS. DEIDARA!! Kiba: …isn’t…isn’t akamaru fighting with me? Zakura: Nope, you’re all on your own. Kiba: That ain’t fair! What can Akamaru do on his against a member of the akatsuki!?! Deidara: Oh, I wont hurt him yeah. –squats down and holds out hand- come here puppy. Come on over and we’ll just have you lie on your belly and surrender, yeah? Akamaru: Arf, arf! –what the fuck, dude?- ….-walks over…sniffs hand…pees in mouthDeidara: AAAGGGKK!!! YOU SICK LITTLE MUTT, YEAH!! Akamaru: -jumps onto Deidara’s head and starts biting his headDeidara: OWW! OWW!! YOU STUPID DOG!! STOP IT YEAH!! –throws clay bombAkamaru: -jumps off head just before the bomb explodesDeidara: -is knocked un-concious by the explosionEveryone: -stunned silenceZakura: Ok…the winner is…Akamaru…

Akamaru: RUFF!! –damn righ!Kiba: THAT’S MY BOY!!! –runs up to hug AkamaruAkamaru: Arf. –noKiba: huh? Akamaru: woof, woof, bark bow wow ruff woof, arf arf arf. –We’re both in this to win and as similar as we are, I think you know we both have different reasons for needing the swords.- Rowbow, woof, arf, woof, bark bark woof yap. Woof arf woof. -Maybe, when all this is over, we shall be comrades again…I’d like that, in fact…until then, we’re enemies. Best of luck to you in your battles- …-walks awayKiba: Oo …aka…maru? Shino: -pat, patKyuubi: Oh…I’ve been waiting for this! –starts chopping Aslan into little piecesMUWAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Kabuto: Wait, WHAT?!-turns into a woman…he doesn’t look all that different besides the c-sized chest and slightly more slender shoulders- I’m…going to kill you… Orochimaru: KYAA!! FEM-KABUTO!! Sakura: -horrorKabuto: Jesus Christ, how do you women manage these things?! Tsunade: With a lot more grace than that…-raises eyebrows at Kabuto fumbling with trying to adjust his shirt accordinglyOrochimaru: ISN’T IT FUN?! Kabuto: …no. Orochimaru: -awwwYoda: Strange…this place is…like it, I do not. Zakura: Right on! Yoda will take care of judging the battles now while I make with Hellsing!! Hellsing: HELL YEAH!! –pulls Zakura to her waiting breast-

Yoda: …kinkyhot, that is. Shino: Kill me? Please. Your mosquito friends have had me on the 'slowly devour: high priority' list for years. Zabuza: I dare you... to cut your own left hand off. Just one slice. (this dare can be transferred). Itachi: your dad's a horrible person, I'm glad you killed him! Could you kill him again? (throws in Itachi and Sasuke's dad)

Shino: Kill. You. –holds out a thumbs-downKiba: -is cheered slightly by the absolute sexinessYoda: NEXT BATTLE!! Kankuro and Kabuto…fight, they must. Kabuto: Fuck. I’m supposed to fight with these things?! Tsunade: Oh suck it up. –kicks him forward.Kabuto: -gets readyKankuro: All right. Time to get serious again…GAARA-CHAN ARE YOU WATCHING?! –waves at GaaraGaara: -face-palm- Oh my god… Lee: YOSH!! SHOW YOUR YOUTH BROTHER OF MY LOVE!! Kankuro: -gives finger- Shut-up you brother-stealing fuzzy-eyebrowed freak!! Lee: -twitch- I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!!! Gaara: -holds back- Down boy. Kankuro: Yeah that’s right! Don’t lose Lee! Cause we’re gonna meet up later and I will kick your ass and get my brother from you! Gaara: …That wouldn’t win me over… Kankuro: That’s right! I’m in this tournament to— Kabuto: -bitch-slaps…with his SHIN.- Shut UP. Fucking Christ… Kankuro: -gurgles and stands up- Ok. I’m sick of losing all the time! Every time I go up against a main character I lose cuz I’m just the puppet freak with the weird make-up! Well no more!

Kabuto: -punches in the sternum- I said SHUT IT and let’s fight. You’re whiny rambling just reminds of how annoying it was to pose as a konoha genin among you prosti-tots for all those years…immature little punk. Kankuro: -pulls out puppet- How dare you!! Kabuto: -rolls eyes, jumps behind him, grabs his throat and sends medical chakra into his neckKankuro: HRG!>?! –faintsYoda: Win, Kabuto does. Gaara: -walks over to Kankuro and says to Kabuto- Did you kill him? Kabuto: No, just closed his windpipe for a moment, he’ll be back to normal in a bit…walks out of battle-ringYoda: Onto the questions, we go. Zabuza: transfer? I’m bad-ass enough to handle that! –chops off hand- …fuck. Haku: -sighs- Oh Zabuza-san…I guess we know what you’re fighting for…-wraps bleeding arm- poor Zabuza. –patsSakura: There’s sure a lot of condescending patting going on around here… Tsunade: -pat, patSakura: -scowlItachi: What? Mr. Uchiha: …son? Itachi: Dad? Mr. Uchiha: You’ve got a lot to explain boy-o…. Itachi: Oh yeah? Mt. Uchiha. Yeah. Why the fuck did you kill me? Itachi: Same reason I’m about to do it again. Mr. Uchiha: -closes eyes- No.

Itachi: -twitch- I can kill you with a kunai too… Mr. Uchiha: I can kill you with a fireball. Itachi: I killed you after wiping out the whole clan…you’re not so tough. Mr. Uchiha: I wasn’t expecting it. And you were on an adrenaline rush. You look a little exhausted… Itachi: You’re eyes are closed asshole! Mr. Uchiha: They were open and functioning a minute ago…you can’t quite say the same, eh? Itachi: I HATE YOU DAD!! It’s your fault I felt suppressed in my sexuality and ended up eing this retarded little club and becoming the sex-slave of a fucking SHARK. Kisame: Ouch. Itachi: -runs off cryingYoda: Go after him, you should. Mr. Uchiha: …nah… OMG! DEI-DEI-CHAN! *huggles and subtly injects with a pink potion, then steps back and snickers* you are now gnna act like barbie for the rest of the chapter... Kiba thanks for telling me how Neji keeps his hair like that! Neko-nee-chan has been dieing to know! *gives Kiba and Akamaru a rare pokemon as thanks* hehe while I'm at it -chucks in Sailor Moon and the Sailor Scoutscould u guys murder these lot for me? there's a prize to whoever does the best.. June x

Deidara: K…I don’t feel any different yeah. Sasori: shouldn’t you be all giggly and having sleepovers and…never mind. Deidara: yeah. :3 Yoda: Next fight… Hellsing: Ooooh, kiddo, you sure you’re old enough to be doing that? Zakura: You sure you’re young enough to handle it? Sakura: justloookawayjustlookaway…

Yoda: Shino vs. Neji it is. Neji: Heh, this shouldn’t be too hard. I’ve smashed lots of bugs before. Shino: -smirks- I don’t think you understand just what I can do. Neji: I’ve seen you fight Shino. You’re doomed against me. Shino: -walking up close to him.- No…-opens Jacket to show tight muscles under a fishnet shirtNeji: -gulps and gapesShino: I really don’t think you understand… -opens Neji’s shirt and runs fingers down his chest- just what I can do. –Runs fingertips along the top of his pantsNeji: -whimpers and shivers in excitementKiba: WHAT THE FUCK?!?! Shino: -cracks his elbow across Neji’s jaw at point-blank, after sending his chakra-eating bugs all over his chest and down his pants… Neji: WTF?! –Tries swatting bugsShino: -jumps forward- DON’T squish my bugs…-knees him in the groin and he falls over cringing- And DON’T ever think I have low enough standards to go for you…saunters back over to Kiba.Kiba: -glomps- You’re so fucking amazing! Shino: -hugs back- I know. Kiba: DUDE!! I GOTS A LAPRAS!!! Shino: fucking ADHD… FIGHTING EVIL MY MOONLIGHT!!! WINNING LOVE BY DAYLIGHT!!! Yoda: NOOOOO!!! –attacks the sailors and chops them to bits with his light-saberListen to Luke watch that show too much, I did. Take it anymore, I can not. Sailors: -twitch…bloodspurt…-

Sakura: …yay. Ginger: Ayyaa! -sniffle- I have minor pneumonia ): Oh, and Bell left for her aunt's house for a while, so I have a visitor to keep me company. Asher: Uh, hi. Ginger: Itachi, what I was going to say was sex. -nods, then brushes Asher's pretty dark red hair even though she has been threatened multiple times alreadyAsher: Kisame, can you cry under water? And do you do it so you don't look like a wuss in front of Itachi?

Itachi: HAHAHA!! You’re sick!! No one cares!! Mr. Uchiha: Kind of how I felt about you… Itachi: -goes back to sulkingNaruto: Eat lotsa ramen!! It’s like chicken-noodle but BETTER!! Sakura: And get lots of rest! Orochimaru: And because not enough of our fans were having random schizophrenic conversations this one is too…makes sense, huh? Shino: I just wanna know who I’ll be fighting next… Yoda: Next battle, Kiba vs. Metal Sasuke it is. Naruto: I thought Metal Sasuke drowned? Metal Sasuke: I’m back. And programmed to KICK YOUR ASSES!!! Zakura: Yeah, we needed someone to even it out I guess… Hellsing: And you’re not pleasuring me right now, because? Shino: Oo …Kiba… Kiba: -getting pumped- yeah? Shino: Lose. Kiba: -screeches to a haltMetal Sasuke: MORTAL KOMBAT!! Kiba: Shino! I’m not gonna lose! Shino: I don’t wanna hurt you! I mean, if we fight— Kiba: You think I wont be able to stand my ground?

Shino: Well I— Kiba: No. We’ll talk later. Right now, I’m going to go, win. WIN! Shino: -scowlsMetal Sasuke: Prepare to lose PUPPY MAN!! Kiba: Fuck off man! I’m winning this one!! Metal Sasuke: -punches across face- Really, dog-man? Kiba: -skids back a few steps- YEAH!! –pounces with claws out, jumps on Metal Sasuke’s back, and grabs a tangle of wires, jumps away and tears them off with himWHAT NOW?!? Metal Sasuke: final survival mode activated. –metal and wires fall of completely leaving only a Sasuke-shaped mass of chakra- What now, pup? Kiba: Now? I wipe you away. –lungesMet—er—chakra Sasuke: -runs to meet him and grabs his armKiba: -his sleeve burns away, his skin becoming singed- SHIT! –breaks away- Pure chakra fucking BURNS! Chakra Sasuke: Doesn’t it? What’s wrong boy? Can’t you take it? Kiba: -thinking- well…something must be keeping it all together… -talks- I can take it. – runs straight at chakra Sasuke, who in surprise can do nothing, so Kiba grabs his shoulder and plunges his hand inside, where he gropes around, suffering intense burning until he finds…a big red button…- wtf? –pushesChakra Sasuke: Shit. –fades and leaves only a big red on/off buttonYoda: Kiba, the winner is. Shino: -runs up- Kiba! You’re hands! They’re burnt! Kiba: -knocks him away and goes over to where Hinata is cheering him excitedly…and then in a panic realizes his state of health and sets to wrapping his burnt handsShino: …fuck… Zakura: Ahhh…that was good…

Hellsing: Mmm, yeah. Thanks. I’m heading out to meet Alucard now. See you later. – kisses goodbyeZakura: Ok little green man— Yoda: NO! Mine, this tournament is. Fuck yourself, you should. Zakura: …fine…asshole… Itachi: Err…well…Deidara and I have a bit of S&M fun every now and then I it… Deidara: Yeah. Mr. Uchiha: sick and WRONG. Itachi: Fuck you Dad! I hate you! Mr. Uchiha: I hate you too. Itachi: -wince- … Kisame: sure, I CAN, but I never need to! I dominate Itachi! But I mean, I also have to look after his sexiness. I adore him. Itachi: At this my hair will just GROW back. –it is indeed now almost-chin length…it looks pretty adorableKisame: I think you’re sexy. Itachi: …-leans against him and curls upCan he rust? MetalSasuke that is? So if Neji agree's that Hinata is good looking...why haven't you slept with her yet? Or did you fail due to her awsome cuteness won't let you? That's it Shika! No more loopholes for you *bops on head with magic wand* everytime you try to loophole the plotbunny will come sit on you... actually he's a good guy... shame about the stubble and smoking habits...

Kiba: No…but he can be DOMINATED!!!! –gives thumbs-upNeji: I just…yeah, it would feel too much like I was destroying the only goodness left in my family…now if SHE wanted to do something… Hinata: -blushes furiously- Neji-kun!! Neji: Oh whatever, Hinata… Yoda: Next battle!! Kimimaro vs. Jiraiya it is!!

Kimimaro: Oh…shit…why did I get a sannin? I really wanted to win… Gaara: Why? You always seemed kind of ive about things? Do you care that much about getting the swords? Kimimaro: I’d just…like to win a battle…I mean, think about it. In the main plot, I showed up basically just to have a dramatic death. When we were in the dungeon? I died during the final climactic battle. I’d just like to win for once. To really prove my worth. I don’t want to be the person that’s only there to get his ass kicked for everyone else. Gaara: …Well then, go kick his ass!! Kimimaro: Heh, sure… Jiraiya: All right pretty-boy!! Bring it on. Kimimaro: -brings out his bone-sword and gets into a read stanceJiraiya: I’m too old for long battles, so I’ll make this quick—RASENGAN!!! –preps Rasengan and rushes KimimaroKimimaro: -grabs Jiraiya’s wrists, flips over his head, re-directing his attack at the floor where it shoots forwards and fizzles out, the then creates a bone-spike one his heel and kicks Jiraiya asideJiraiya: -hits the floor, skids, and then jumps to his feet- I fricken HATE kids!! SUMMON!!! Gama-Oyabun: This better be good… Naruto: Gama-Oyabun!!! HEY!! Gama-Oyabun: Fuck off kid… Kimimaro: Damn…toads… Jiraiya: I have to win this tournament! Let’s fight, Gama-Oyabun!! Gama-Oyabun: What is this tournament for? Jiraiya: Getting home!!! Gama-Oyabun: Nothing to help me out…-sighs- Whatever, you owe me, old pervert. – whips tongue out-

Kimimaro: -jumps up, flips over, making Gama chase him with his tongue, so that he can stab a bone through his tongue, trapping it into a sort-of knotGama-Oyabun: FUCKING BRAT!! –raises foot for squishingKimimaro: -jumps out of the way…just barely…and get his ankle badly twisted- shit… Gama-Oyabun: -puffs on pipe- -sighs- these fights are such a PAIN. Kimimaro: -jumps onto his pipe- Oh really? –Chops off the tobacco bowl, kicks the stem down his throat and dump the embers on his jacket, which catches fire- No kidding. Gama-Oyabun: -falls down in a choking, smoking mass- fu-cough-ck thi-hu-hu-s. –unsummonsJiraiya: Fuck! You little brat! Kimimaro: -gestures for Jiraiya to come attackJiraiya: -pulls out kunai and throws it violently…and then a whole shit-ton more…Kimimaro: -deflects deftly, and it’s a male-storm of kunai until Jiraiya finally runs out and Kimimaro runs forward, and strikes him with a finger-tip-bone-bullet right on a nerve which knocks him out coldYoda: Kimimaro, the winner is. Oro/Kabu/Gaa: WHOOOO!! –group glompShikamaru: Right…ok…I’ll definitely stay on the look-out for the plotbunny…how troublesome… Orochi: Icelands yours. Won't you be all cold and stuffs cause your a snake? Saku-Chan: Here, Imma send you some new clothes seeing as you got your old ones singed in the demonic realm place. But I have another gift! -Gives a blank picture frameIt shows you the picture of the person you love most. Oh look, I have another one! Here you go Kabuto! Itachi: I'M Predictable? ME?! Well when I rule Japan, you're going down. Plus I have perfected my tweezer technique. But surely butterflies are more predictable? That's what my lil bro wants to appose me with.. Till next time, Nat x Orochimaru: I’ll be fine! I’ll bring heat-lamps…in fact my whole scheme is to heat Iceland into the best island paradise ever!! Kurenai: Way to fight Global warming there, buddy.

Orochimaru: -shrugs- I just like beaches…is that so wrong? Kurenai: In Iceland it is!! Yoda: The next battle, yours is not. Kurenai: Oh whatever. Yoda: Orochimaru vs. Kisame, it is. Orochimaru: Dammit! I wanted someone cute! Oh well…I’ll just have to beat up the shark-man so I can face Kimi. Kimimaro: O.o Oh no…I can’t…face Orochimaru-sama… Kabuto: Sucks to be you. Kimimaro: Why couldn’t I be the one fighting the dog?! Kabuto: Cause I deserve a break too…after getting boobs and all… Orochimaru: I’m done! Kisame: -is lying on ground with many strangle/bite marksItachi: Well THAT’S impressive. Kisame: yeowch… Kimimaro: GODAMMIT!!

Tsunade: Huh? Who is it Sakura? Sakura: -staring at the picture frame- Sa…Sasuke-kun… Tsunade: Oh bull shit. I know you just talk yourself into loving him. Zakura: YES!! I LOVE YOU TSUNADE!! Tsunade: Who is it, Sakura? Naruto? Sakura: NO!!

Tsunade: Lee? Gaara: -glaresSakura: NO!!! Gaara: -nods, thinking- s’right bitch… Tsunade: Kimimaro! Sakura: NO! Tsunade: Kabuto? Sakura: WHAT?!? Tsunade: SO IT’S HIM!! Sakura: WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?! Tsunade: Because you didn’t say no right away! Sakura: Well that’s cause it was a weird suggestion! Tsunade: So was Kimi!! Sakura: LEAVE ME ALONE!! –Curls up defensivelyKabuto: -drops picture frame on Kiba’s headKiba: OWW!! You just shattered that fucking thing on my HEAD!! Kabuto: Whoops…-looks away innocentlySakura: -gets changed into new clothes, now in her shippuden outfitKabuto: Dammit… Kimimaro: Yeah, that one’s a good deal sexier huh? Kabuto: Hate you. Kimimaro: I know.

Itachi: Butterflies are actually fairly understandable against penguins. They’re of the few things with the ability to fight the cuteness of penguins. But they die fast so it’s kind of a pain…basically you guys don’t stand a chance. Mr. Uchiha: Kind of like your chance at ever being a normal, non-disgusting-piece-ofshit kind of human being. Itachi: -curls back up with KisameDeidara: I must say though, yeah, Tweezers are very scary, yeah. And as Oro and Ita said earlier, VERY useful, yeah. Orochimaru: Careful with those things. Dares: Sakura you have to make out with ALL of these people: A) Haku B) Kabuto C) Orochimaru (Sasuke: *staring at computer screen that has the room on it* Is that place real? *pokes screen*) It sure is! *kicks sasuke through the screen and into the room. Then seals it so he can't get back through* There you are. *Insert evil laugh here* ~~Taki-Kun~~ Sakura: ….what? Haku: oh, ok! Sakura: Umm…I’d feel lesbian kissing Haku… Haku: Nothing like a little experimentation, right?! Zabuza: Do it and I’ll kill you… Saku/Haku: -have a quick grope-less and with very little tongue makeoutSakura: Damn! How did you learn to kiss like that?! Haku: Teehee, from the best. –kisses the seething ZabuzaOrochimaru: -pounces and tongue-rapes then turns to Kabuto- You’re turn! Sakura: Yeah, Kabuto, you’re turn. –glares-

Kabuto: -gulps, steps forward…kisses…ventures into making out territory- OWW!! FUCK!! You almost bit my fucking tongue off you CRAZY BITCH!! Sakura: It’s what you get ass hole! And use some Listerine next time you fucking asswipe!! Zakura: Oh, I love it. Kabuto: -stalks offYoda: Between Sasori and Tsunade the next battle is. Sasori: -pulls out ansemble of puppets- Prepare to be defeated by my perfect works of art… Tsunade: -takes each puppet, one by one, and crushes it to a fine dust- Sassy, my STUDENT kicked your ass. What do you think I’ll be able to do? Sasori: …fine, I quit. Yoda: Give up, Sasori has, the winner, Tsunade is. Tsunade: -sighs- So easy to intimidate these men…I love it… Sakura: WAY TO GO SENSEI!! Orochimaru: FUCK!! SASUKE’S IN THE ROOM RIGHT NOW!!! Itachi: AAAHHH!! WE HAVE TO GET BACK NOOOOWWW!!! Mr. Uchiha: ah yes, my DECENT son. The son I actually love. Itachi: STFU DAD!! Mr. Uchiha: No. That son isn’t a flaming faggot. Itachi: Oh yeah? Everyone here who’s slept with Sasuke raise your hand. Ita/Oro/Nej/Kisa/Kan/Shika/Yoda: -raise handsSakura: Kisame….Shikamaru…Yoda…??? Kisame: Itachi and he offered a threesome…by which I mean I jumped in and ed them. Shikamaru: Of course, we’ve slept together…in the same room. –smirk-

Sakura: That was a loophole just to be difficult. Shikamaru: So…why is assume sitting on me? Asuma: Hey, ninja missions don’t pay what they used to. Plot-bunny is a fine part-time job on the side. –lights a cigKurenai: -furious blushingAsuma: Besides, you should be used to being underneath me—oh…hello Kurenai and Tsunade…aherm…-gets off Shikamaru- Let’s just not do that again ok? Gotta go… Shikamaru: -disturbedYoda: Sasuke, a whore was…-smilesZakura: -pushes away- you need to leave now… Yoda: NO! Finish judging the battles I will…noooo!! –gets pushed awayMr. Uchiha: You’ve set this up to screw with me you sick fuck. Itachi: -slaps- I hate you…-starts crying- It’s your fault…your fault I never felt like I was worth anything. Why I thought I should kill my best friend because you convinced me he had turned me gay when we had only fallen in love… Because of you, I told myself I was really just a sick fuck, and did sick things. I hated you so much, I thought if I could be more powerful by being unsightly, disturbed, disgusting, and get enough power to kill you, and ruin the whole clan that you had made turn against me…then it was WORTH IT. Mr. Uchiha: It’s not fault Itachi. You’re just a warped person. Sick in your soul, and that has nothing to do with me. Itachi: -sobKisame: -cleaves Mr. Uchiha in twoZakura: Damn, both throw-ns gotten rid of in one page… Itachi: -blinks- what? Kisame: Well, he was hurting you. And unless it’s me whipping your ass while we’re in bed, I don’t like to see you in pain. You’re not sick. You’re beautiful. Itachi: Kisame…that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard…-kisses- thank you.

Kisame: -smiles, hugsZakura: Blarg. Moving on. Orochimaru:... Sure you haven't. (Throws the Demonic Chibi-Mongooses into the room) Then you shouldn't have anything to fear from them. Kiba: Here is the National Pokedex Game Guide, that reveals EVERY SINGLE POKEMON KNOWN TO MAN! And a sack full of Rare Candy. How do you feel about becoming the next King of Games? (Gives him a Duel Disk, and a Dueling Deck) Zakura: Know any good Yuri hentai that you would recomend? Ed: I thought that you would have liked the fact that you kicked the crap out of your father in the Captain Planet one. Catch you next continue! Orochimaru: ACK!! I’m not going anywhere near that room ever again! They’re trying to find me! Kiba: Dude! I bet they’re attack Sasuke right now!! AWESOME!! OH DUDE!! POKEDEX!!! Shino: oh my god… Kiba: Eh…not really into technology…but I bet this thing would make a bitchin’ Frisbee!! –throwsAkamaru: ARFARFARF!!! –Frisbee?! FRISBEE!!!- …-catches and trots back to KibaKiba: Hey! That’s a good boy! That’s a—no! I thought we weren’t friends anymore. Akamaru: ruuuuf. –awwwww.Zakura: Ok! The next fight is Itachi VS. Kyuubi! Itachi: …WHAT?! Kyuubi: All right. –cracks neck- let’s get this going. Itachi: MENGKYOU SHARINGAN!! -they are in the red and black world, Kyuubi is surrounded by fem—kyuubis and they are all more powerful than him, ready to beat him upItachi: So, what now, Kyuubi?

Kyuubi: -lifts head slowly, his gaze the last thing to rise, and his eyes stare at him with fiery, angry intensity. There is a pulse and suddenly Itachi is tied to a post, and his late clan stand around him, ridiculing him, throwing rocks, stabbing him- What now? Now you deal with this for 48-hours you wanted us to be in here for. -a moment later back with the others, Itachi falls to his knees, shaking and disturbed, while Kyuubi stands tall, smirkingKyuubi: I’m just way to powerful Itachi. You’re fucked. Itachi: You’ll pay…how dare you… Kyuubi: Hold on, I need some space to launch my final attack. –jumps backZakura: Itachi…WINS!! Kyuubi: -freezes- what? Itachi: What? Zakura: Kyuubi rung out. There was always a designated space you know. Kyuubi: …no. Zakura: Yeah. Kyuubi: …FUCK YOU! I didn’t want to be in your gay tournament anyway…I got to chop up aslan so who cares… Aslan: Ah, but I’m a fucking god so I get to come back. –sticks out tongue and runs awayKyuubi: FUCK!! Zakura: Man, it’s all good. –smileEd: Dammit! I thought they hadn’t noticed me! Fuck you! I don’t want any part of this tournament! I don’t trust them to really give me what I want in the end! Zakura: that’s a completely valid concern. Expand on that after you’re done fighting Shikamaru. Shikamaru: So troublesome. All-right so…there are pretty much no shadows here…eugh, I’ll have to really fight… Ed: All right, I guess I could use a stretch. –Transmutes hand in a blade-

Shikamaru: …aww, fuck this. I surrender! Ed: That’s boring!! Zakura: Well, after the first round no-ones allowed to forfeit but this is valid Shikamaru gives up! Ed move on! Ed: -sighs- but anyway, kicking my father’s ass is always good…but still… Itachi: Do you have your hair back? :D And is Kisame a) Only an Akatsuki partner b) a friend c) a lover for you? Tsunade: Do you like Tonton? And what was it like to be in the same team with Oro and sir pervert? And did you ever play poker when Sarutobi wasn't looking? Sakura: Are you ever going to forgive Kabuto? Cookies for EVERYONE!! ...And Sake for Tsunade... Itachi: No. It’s growing back fucking SLOWLY. And he’s…err… Kisame: I like to think I’m all of the above. Itachi: After chopping up my dad? …for a while… Kisame: YOS!!! Zakura: NEXT FIGHT! ZABUZA AND LEE!! Zabuza: I have ONE HAND. Zakura: And Lee has no gen or nin jutsu, it’s fair. Lee: But I have YOUTH!! Zabuza: Do I really have to fight this annoying kid? Zakura: Stop whining, you’ve fought with NO hands before. You’re good. Zabuza: -rolls eyes- Let’s go. Lee: YOOOOOOOOSH!!! Haku: -teehee-

Zabuza and Lee fight for a long time, mostly hand-to-hand; as Zabuza can’t really do one-handed seals fast enough for his really complicated jutsu. Haku: OH NO!! Zabuza: -looks over immediatelyLee: -drop-kicks Zabuza in this moment of opportunity and knocks him out coldHaku: Oh phew, I still have the lavender nail polish left after all…oh no did Zabuza-san lose? Everyone: face-palm. Tsunade: Yeah. She’s a great pet. Intelligent and hilarious…sometimes she’s better than Shizune. Heh. Are you kidding me? Sometimes Sarutobi ed in!! Except for strippoker, we made sure he wasn’t around for that…and I dunno, it wasn’t so bad for a time…-sighs and drinks deeply from the sakeSakura: No. He’s a jerk-wad and I hate him. –gobbles up cookiesI found the git who fired the syringe. (lifts up geek) what should I do with him? (geek pours a beaker full of a blue liquid on me)FUCK! OW!(sprouts wolf ears and angel wings) Hmm... I think i'll keep him. (Throws in the doctor from doctor who and his TARDIS) (throws in another giant hand and Seto Kaiba from Yu-Gi-Oh!) Who here like dragons? Itachi: If you don’t want him I’ll take him and abuse his powers. Deidara: I’ll kill him yeah. -tardis crashes in the middles of the crowdDoctor: -steps out- Right then…hell knows where I’ve gone and got myself this time…is it a bloody super-nova then? Sakura: OMG SEXY!! Doctor: Who’s this lot? Naruto: We’re ninja! Doctor: …nnnooo…I’ve been to feudal Japan and I’m pretty sure they had ground and such… Naruto: Well…

Kiba: We’re stuck in a fan-girl fanfic right now so— Doctor: SHIT! Why didn’t you warn me earlier?! This has happened before! I have to leave NOW before I meet a previous self and make out with him! Uh, so yeah, maybe if we catch up elsewhere we’ll have tea or something…but I’ve got to go now…-zooms awayZakura: Pussy. Anyway, let’s get the last three pre-lims out of the way. Next is Haku vs. Naruto! Naruto: …shit. Haku: Well, we’ve been here before haven’t we? Kyuubi: Only this time I ain’t there to save his ass. Haku: this’ll be so much fun!! Naruto: Yeah…fun… -So Naruto tries to fight without being to mean and Haku doesn’t hold back at all and basically Naruto is so scared shitless of angering the re-awakening Zabuza that Haku beats him up pretty fastHaku: Naruto-kun…I know you could have done better. Naruto: Without Zabuza glaring at me the whole time? Yeah I think so too… Hinata: H-here’s some of my ointment Naruto… Naruto: thanks Hinata! Hinata: -blushZakura: NEXT FIGHT!! KURENAI VS. HINATA!! Kurenai: Shit!! Hinata: AHH! There’s no way I’ll be able to beat Kurenai-sensei! Kurenai: Just…do your best. You’ll be fine. -they fight, Kurenai holds back at first but after Hinata’s first chakra-jamming stab to her chest she starts attacking harder, but Byakkugan helps Hinata avoid genjutsu and most of her ninjutsu require something to draw from besides empty space. Then one of Kurenai’s

bandages comes un-done, tripping her, and Hinata’s chakra-charged fingers hit a supersensitive spot on her head which knocks her out coldZakura: Winner, HINATA!! Itachi: Looks like SOMEONE will be wearing proper pants from now on… Kurenai: -dizzily getting to her feet- Fuck you. Zakura: That means the last battle is Gaara vs. Sakura!! …do I even need to tell you who wins? After a basic fight, Gaara kicks ass, ‘nuff said. Orochimaru: THRONE!! Hey…how come some things go to the room, and some come here? Zakura: If they just say it’s thrown in, it comes here, if they say they throw it into the room, it goes to the room. Orochimaru: Fair enough…aww dammit. The dog’s on my throne. Akamaru: ARF RUFF!! –who rule you now, bitches?!Seto: Ugh…I’m trapped in another one of my bad half-finished ideas for a video game aren’t I? I hate it when this happens…oh well, Mokuba will come find me eventually… why is there a chewed-on duel disk on the ground?! WHO DISREPECTS MY WORK?! Kiba: I do! And I bet I can beat you at your own game too! Seto: …prove it… Kiba: -take disk, loads it up- IT’S TIME TO DUEL!! Naruto: Psssh, dragons aren’t real. Seto: I summon the blue-eye white dragon!! BEWD: ROAR!!!! Naruto: YEEP!!! HT: I don’t want rabies again! they make me feel like a high squirrel... amber: and only you would know how that feels. HT: yeah. ok. i meant 10 but now im not so sure... that fanfic was really good. fem Kyuubi is awesome! amber: its better then male Kyuubi.

HT: have you read book 17 of fruits basket? if you haven’t, read it, and you will find otherwise. amber: she isn’t lying. akito is a female, raised as a male, by her mother ren. its pretty wierd. Sasuke: -sneaks in and steals candyNeji: A high squirrel? Naruto: They’re fucking scary… Neji: You know this how? Naruto: …-shudders- You don’t wanna know. Lucifel: NOOOO!! Well, send me a Pm and tell me why so I can take some clues, k? Kyuubi: LIES!! Lies you little bitch!! Lucifel: Cam down. HT, have you read Summer Wind? If you’re a Kyuubi fan I think you’d like it. ^_^ Kyuubi: -fumesZakura: Next fight!! Akamaru VS. Kabuto!! Kabuto: -sighs- why am I getting all the easy fights? Akamaru: Growwwl, arf arf, -I’ll show you who’s easy buddyKabuto: jumps forward with chakra scapel out…Akamaru can’t dodge in time and gets hit- Like I said…too easy… Akamaru: BARK!! –JACKASS!!- -he jumps up, and bites his neck, scratching his face so he can’t see for the stinging and trips him so he falls into the crowd and rings outZakura: …Shit, the dog won again. Kabuto: WTF?! How did that happen? Kiba: HA! You don’t animal biology well enough! You hit a totally empty spot!! DUMBASS!! Seto: …wtf? Akamaru: Bark, arf, woof!! –Haha! So who’s easy now? Besides your mom!!-

Zakura: Anyway…is that true about Akito? Weird-ass…I don’t want him anymore. Itachi: Awwww… -now back to the duelKiba: WTF?! YOU CAN USE TRAP CARDS ON THE OTHER PERSON’S TURN?!?! Seto: …why am I even doing this…oh yeah, cause I already won. Kiba: FUCK!! You didn’t tell me all the rules!! Seto: I figured you weren’t that retarded…My mistake. Later loser…-walks off all dramaticKiba: Where are you even going!! Seto: Well…usually I get home after winning a duel…shit… Kabuto: Ha! You were SO jealous during that make-out session! Kimimaro: Truthfully, I don't see how you can put up with him and his denseness/stubborness. Mystery box for your troubles? -hands over mystery boxItachi: You baka! -sticks tongue out- I'll hug Deidara instead! -hugs him- and just because of that Deidara gets a box of LIMITED-EDITION fraps! -gives Dei-kun frapsKabuto: WAS NOT!! Sakura: Stop moving so I can heal you, jackass… Kabuto: I can heal myself… Sakura: …just shut up and sit still. Zakura: KIBA VS. SHINO!! Shino: Here we go… Kiba: -stalks upShino: Kiba…seriously, I don’t want to fight you. Kiba: Well, right now I want to kick your ass so it evens out. Shino: I don’t wanna hurt you Kiba! Kiba: You won’t. You’re an asshole, Shino, you’re not that much stronger than me…

Shino: Without Akamaru you’re weak! Kiba: -punches- let’s just fight already!! Shino: …fine. –the bugs come outKiba: -growls, lunges, Shino dodges, but Kiba catches his arm, pulling him down, where they begin a tumbling match full of violence and sexual tension. Kiba squishes a lot of bugs, which pisses Shino off, so he starts dominating, which pisses Kiba off so he starts getting rougher and after a while no-one’s sure if they’re fighting or having foreplayItachi: Damn…Shino wasn’t kidding about the way Kiba screws… Kisame: I think I’m a little turned on… Orochimaru: I know I AM!! Jira/Kabu/Kimi: -.Kiba: -pins Shino on the bottom, holds a kunai to his throat.- You lose. Shino: -kisses roughlyZakura: KIBA WINS!! Kiba: -sits up pantingShino: -sits up- …so… Kiba: Yeah. Shino: -leans against his shoulderKiba: -puts arm around his shoulders- Love you man. Shino: You too. Women in the room (not Zakura): Men…-shake headsZakura: KIMIMARO VS. OROCHIMARU!! Orochimaru: Sorry to have to cut your time in the tournament so short. –leans backKimimaro: Wha—what are you doing Orochimaru-sama?

Orochimaru: Eh? Well…I figured you wouldn’t wanna fight me. Being my little servant and looking up to me so much and not being half my strength and all… Kimimaro: …I…what….HOW DARE YOU?! Orochimaru: Huh? Kimimaro: How dare you think I’m so simple!! You’re supposed to be the one that knows me the best! Orochimaru-sama…How could you think that? I want to fight my hardest—especially against you!! That’s really proving myself! Orochimaru: Oh…well…but Kimimaro… Kimimaro: Orochimaru-sama, please. Orochimaru: Ugh, -sighs- Fine…god Kimi, I thought I could get an easy win…shit… Kimimaro: -stalks up to the battle-ring silentlyKabuto: GO KIMI!!! Orochimaru: HEY!! Kabuto: Er…go Oro-sama… Gaara: KICK HIS ASS KIMI!!!! Kimimaro: Please don’t go easy on me Orochimaru-sama… Orochimaru: Yeah, yeah…-rolls shouldersKimimaro: -charges-A vicious battle breaks out, Orochimaru pulls his sword and uses it against Kimi’s bones, breaking several, and at one point cutting off Kimi’s pony-tail. Kimi is suffering, but holding strong, doing his best, spinning his beautiful bone dancem eventually Orochimaru is put in enough of a jam that he— Orochimaru: SUMMON!! Manda: ABOUT FUCKING TIME!! WHERE IS THE DOG-BRAT?!?!?! Kiba: SHIT!! –runs awayManda: -chases- I’LL TEACH YOU TO SEAL ME IN A FUCKING CARD!!!

Orochimaru: …shit… Kimimaro: -launches a massive kick to his chest, stabbing him with his heel bone at the same time, and Orochimaru collapsesJiraiya: -catches Orochimaru and stabilizes his bleeding until Sakura has to run over and heal him too because Kabuto is too busy running over to Congratulate KimimaroKabu/Gaa: KIMI!!! THAT WAS AMAZING!! YOU’RE SO AWESOME!!! –GLOMPSZakura: Yeah, yeah Kimimaro’s the winner…want this mystery box? Kimimaro: Oh, sure…and don’t feel bad for me. He’s worth it. Kabuto: -blushKimimaro: -pulls out a emerald green potion- hmm…I guess I’ll save this… Deidara: YAY!! Fraps yeah!! Itachi: -twicth, twitch…turns to reviewer- Want hugs? Ahaaha! it took me three days to read this O.O Everyone : Dont you guys worry about how the ninja world is in right now? i mean 99.99% of the important people either in this room, or being held hostage by another fan. Itachi: Irish cream or bourbon? Sakura: Only three days? Damn… Zakura: You thought it was worth it? Sakura: -smack- the fans are the only ones keeping this place livable… Zakura: whatever. ED VS. LEE!! Lee: YOSH!! THE POWER OF YOUTH COMPELS YOU TO LOSE!!! Ed: …that doesn’t even make sense. And after the earlier disappointment this should be fun. –transmutes hand- LET’S GO!!! Lee: YOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!! –fiery eyes- I SHALL VANQUISH THE SHORT ONE!! Ed: …don’t….call…me…SHOOOOOORT!!!! –fiery eyesTHERE IS A BIG ANGRY BATTLE!!! WHEEEEEEE!!

Finally— Ed: -slaps palm against Lee’s shin, and transmutes his weight into a much denser, large lead substance, Lee is immobilized and Ed punches him out cold with his metal handDAMN THAT FELT GOOD!! Zakura: Winner, Ed! Fuck, cross-over people getting all this glory…asshole… Ed: yeah! What are you gonna do about it?! HAHA!! Let’s see any fangirl try to get me again!! Sakura: The thing is…most of the villains are here too so…we’re mostly ok. Itachi: IRISH CRÈAM!! The Irish ROCK!! Zakura: That was really fast, let’s have Tsunade and Itachi fight next. Tsunade: You won’t last… Itachi: How do you figure? Tsunade: Because I have a power you can neither comprehend nor appreciate. Itachi: -snort- that being? Tsunade: The power…OF BOOBS!!! –Strikes menacing poseJiraiya: -droolsItachi: NOOOOO!!! –CowersTsunade: -beats his ass as he tries desperately to avoid the bewbs….Zakura: TSUNADE WINS!! Oro/Jira: DAMMIT!! Tsunade: -sticks out tongueKiba : (no comments please) since bodily fluids are exchanged, you can get rabies through sex. Check with the CDC or U.N. centers for disease controlif you do not beleive me. And bats then cats were the two biggest transmiters for North America last year. Kabuto : for some reason I feel I started this way back when ... so here is one token that will get you out of one dare or physical punishment. Use it wisely.

Sakura : I give you a token like I just gave Kabuto. Itachi: Dude…who the fuck was making out with bats and cats? Tsunade: -punchesItachi: YOU ALREADY KICKED MY ASS ALREADY!!! Tsunade: -shrugs- for good measure. Orochimaru: It’s not fair!! She got further than me!! Jiraiya: You BOTH suck!! We’re a trio! We should go down at the same level. Tsunade: Lies…. Kabuto: OMG!!! This is awesome!! Zakura: Next!! HAKU VS…Hinata? Everyone: Dude…. Oo Hinata: B-but I don’t wanna hurt Haku! Haku: I don’t wanna hurt Hinata!! Hina/Haku: Waaaaaaah!!! Zakura: YOU’RE NINJA!!! FIGHT GODAMMIT!!! –breathes fireKyuubi: You can do that? Zakura: If I need to…. Haku/Hina: -get up and start fighting. They use only basic jutsu and soft combat moves. So as to out-manuever but not hurt each other….a lot of flowers and rainbows and kitties randomly float by as they giggle occasionally, and spin around a lot.Haku: NOOOOO!!! Hinata: -gasp- what’d I do? Haku: My…nail polish! And I was all out of that color!! –sobsHinata: WAAAAH!! I’m so sorry!!! I feel so awful!! I GIVE UP!! HAKU DESERVES TO WIN!!! –sobs with him-

Zakura: WINNER! HAKU!! Haku: Yay! –holds victory signKisame: -twitch- so help me if that was his plan all along…. Zabuza: THAT’S MY HAKU!! –runs and hugs- So cunning, you little devil!! Haku: heh? Sakura: -gets coin- Oh, thanks! This is great! hi! I feel so much better now! and...Wingo is...um...currently indisposed...so he won't be with us this week! Wingo: -from room elsewhere in the house- I heard that! you gave me your cold! 1. ooh! are you guys in an alternate dimension?! take this! you'll need it to survive! -forks over what looks like a gameboy but it has tons more buttons- it's a special navigator thingy that can help you go wherever in an alternate dimension. and it toasts bread! 2. hmm...should I help Neji with his cold? nah. I don't think there's anything embarrassing enough I could make him do. 3. Umm...I don't believe you really love someone if you're not willing to die for them... -The Muffinator 3 Kabuto: Wow, surprisingly the navigator is showing that there is the amount of interest in all directions…NONE!! –throws Navigator down but it just kind of stops softly and does not break…so he stomps on itNeji: HA! Well I’m already better bitch!! Naruto: But you still have herpes…. Neji: I DO NOT!! Naruto: LIES!!! Neji: YOU LIE!! Zakura: Ok, there are seven people left. We’ll have two one-on-one fights, and one oneon-one-on-one fight, and then the last battle will be a three-way too I guess…OK!! FIRST UP!! KIBA VS. AKAMARU!! Kiba: WHAT?! –ducks just in time to avoid Manda-

Akamaru: -nods solemnly and steps up- ARF!! –MY FRIEND!!- Bark, bark, woof, growl, arf, arf, BOW WOW!! –Let us fight like equals, and with respect, and have the greatest battle we ever shall!!Zakura: MANDA!! Stop trying to eat Kiba!! Kiba: but…but you’re my dog…my comrade… Manda: HE SEALED ME IN A CARD!!! Akamaru: Arf. –I know.- bark, bark, yap! –but this was bound to happen one day. Let us face it like warriors!Zakura: That’s no excuse! This fight is more important! Kiba: Aren’t you being a little over-dramatic, Akamaru? Manda: THE HELL IT IS!! Akamaru: bark. –maybe a little…Zakura: DON’T MAKE ME PUT YOU IN A POKEBALL!! Kiba: Let’s do this then!! Manda: -shut up and curls around Orochimaru, sulkingKiba and Akamaru go to the battle field and begin battle!! Kiba and Akamaru chase each other in circles, and attack with claw and tooth and very little jutsu and finally in the end, because I can’t think of anything big to happen in the middle, Akamaru stands victorious!! Zakura: This is re-goddamn-diculous. FINE! AKAMARU WINS!! Akamaru: BARK, ARF!! –a good fight my friend!!Kiba: -more than a little humiliatedOrochimaru: You can love a person without being willing to die for them. I mean, I bet you have friends you wouldn’t die for. Deidara: YEAH! Tsunade: No, I can understand MAYBE not dying for friendship, but for love? No, that’s a person you’d die for.

Orochimaru: What do you know? Tsunade: Fuck off. (background is filled with fluffy clouds lined with gold in front sits me suronded by sexy winged men) MiniDeath:(sips random drink) I'm on cloud 9 bitches! (random winged man steps forward) Winged Man: due to her being on cloud 9 she is in a state of pure joy and will not be disturbed but that doesn't mean she doesn't have questions today. Kyuubi: if you were never a demon do you think you would still be strong? Orochimaru: i dare you to make out with jirayia Lucifel: I give you-Hey! we didn't agree to this!! MiniDeath: (looks up from drink) thats funny it just sounded like you had an opinion. now move it! (that winged man plus 10 others appear in lucifels room) MiniDeath Sakura: Oh my…Mini… Kurenai: Cloud nine is only fun for so long really… Itachi: Yes, you’re divorced, we get it, stop whining… Kurenai: -flips fingerKyuubi: …that’s a gay question. If I wasn’t a demon I wouldn’t be…me… Zakura: Who cares? ED VS. KIMI VS GAARA!! Ed: HELL YEAH!! Gaara: vs…Kimi? Kimimaro: Well that’s…ironic. Just don’t kill me again, ne? Gaara: Uh, sure… Ed: Let’s go you bishie bastards, I’m SO ready to kick your ass!! Gaara: No, enough out of you. –sand-coffins his auto-mailEd: WTF?!?! Kimimaro: -smacks him with some bones…hehe…-

Ed: errggg…fuck…. Zakura: ED—OUT!! The battle will continue with Kimi and Gaara!! Kimi and Gaara fight a long, hard battle, with lots of dodging and flipping and attacking and all sorts of fun nonsense until— Kimimaro: STOP. Gaara: Eh? Kimimaro: You’re holding back… Gaara: I—well, Kimi I don’t want to hurt…I mean, winning means so much to you… Kimimaro: No. Proving myself does. I can do that without winning. If you can beat me, beat me. Fight like you mean it, like a ninja. Gaara: -smiles- Sorry, right. -They start again, all the more dramatic, all the more intense. They run out of chakra, and fight only with fists. Finally they both stand panting, breathless, facing each other intensely, finally they crash together, punch each other hard, and both fall down unconsciousZakura: Well, IT’S A DRAW!! Orochimaru: Awww… Kabuto: Woah… Lucifel: Yay!! Winged men!! –runs to roomOrochimaru: uh, ok! –jumps or jiraTsunade: About damn time too… Sakura: You mean this has been going on for a while? Tsunade: Basically…. Your clothes must be tight Dei-kun! (tosses in clothes that can change into any kind of clothes that you think of) Deidara: YES!! That means I get a new dress and fishnet tights!!

Itachi: …oh my god… Zakura: HAKU VS. TSUNADE!! Tsunade: Ok listen, I’m sick of all the crappy drama going on here so let’s just fight and get it over with, ok? Haku: OK!! Tsunade: Especially since this battle will be decided with one finger… Haku: Yep. –charges forwardTsunade: -flicks fingerHaku: -jumps back last second and shoots a needle straight up her fingerTsunade: …FUCK!! Haku: -kicks in head, knocks over.Zakura: HAKU WINS!! Tsunade: WTF?!?!?! Zakura: Yep . Muwahahaha, this is great. Holy hell... I read the entire 46 chapters over a course of three and a half days.Kurenai, stop being so skillet happy. You can't blame Jiraiya, can you? I mean, you ARE pretty damn sexy! Give the guy a break. Anyways...QUESTIONS! 1. Sakura- during the survival test Kakashi told you to kill Naruto or else Sasuke would die? Would you have done it if the situation was real? 2. Naruto- If you could get the kyuubi out of you, but had to give up ramen, would you do it? 3. I dare Kurenai and Hinata to dress up like schoolgirls and make out! *hands Zakura a camrea so she can take pictures* (I so got your back!) I know it's a little long, but this is 46 chapters worth of thoughts here! Peace out, you guys! *holds up peace sign to everyone, waves at Hinata, Kurenai, Zakura* Zakura: FINAL BATTLE AKAMARU VS. HAKU!! Naruto: With all these ninja…how did that happen?

Akamaru: Arf, yapyap, bark, woof yap bark!! –You have fought well, little needle boy, but today is the day I step up and win for all dog-kind!!Haku: …KYAAAAA!! KAWAAII PUPPY!! Akamaru: a-arf? –w-what?Haku: PUPPY!! –runs forward with arms out in hugging fashionAkamaru: bark yap woof!! –I…I can’t ATTACK against such a non-lethal approach what do I do?!?!?!?!Haku: PUPPYYYYY!!!! –hugs tightlyAkamaru: arf….arf… -can’t….breath…- -faintsZakura: By power of hugging, HAKU IS THE WINNER OF THE TOURNAMENT!!!!!!! Everyone: …oh my god…. Zakura: Ok, while he decides what he wants, we’ll do the last questions… Sakura: I have no idea!! I…I… Kabuto: Probably would have stood there until one of them died. Sakura: HATE YOU!!! Naruto: ARE YOU INSANE?!?!? HELL NO I WOULDN’T!!!!! Zakura: Just kiss, it’s cool. Kurenai: -gagging at the outfit- NO VIDEO!! Zakura: Fiiine. -They kiss, Zakura takes a snapshotKurenai: Hate you so much… Haku: OK!! –Wields both swords- I want me and all the other ninja to be back in the room, and I want everything to be how it was in the beginning, including physical appearances!! Everyone: WAIT!!

Haku: -slashes with both sword and suddenly they are in a blank four-room wall and everyone looks exactly as they did when they got there.Itachi: MY HAIR!!! YAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYAY!!! Sakura: Dammit! I liked that outfit better!! Orochimaru: SASUKE’S GOOOONE!!!! –sobsZabuza: -flexes hand- awesome. Tsunade: THE SAKE POOL IS GONE!!! –ragesHaku: Maybe I should have re-thought that…heh, whoops. Zakura: Well, now you just have two bad-ass sword one that sucks life from your opponent and one that heals you. You’re good. Haku: YAY!! Lucifel: I’m so sorry it was late. I was busy, and this chapter took SUPER LONG. This is thing is literally twice the normal length. I’m sure there’s typos EVERYWHERE. BUT HEY!!! MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW!!! …TODAY!! Or something…Anyway yeah!! I’M SEVENTEEN AND THE LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT IN MISSOURI AS OF SEPTEMBER 27 2007!!! WOOOOOOT!!!!!! Meanwhile, back in the blank place… Ed/Seto: Ummm…hellloooo?…shit. Lucifel: Next chapter is basically starting fresh!! Exciting!! See you then!! Happy Birthday to me…-whistles merrily-

Ask Sakura 45 Lucifel: You know, I just realized Ask Sakura is over the hill…heh…oh, and so I wanted to make something birthday-themed for this chapter. Everyone: -flinches-

Lucifel: But I couldn’t really think of anything that would work. So, we’ll just move on. Everyone: -relieved sighHaku: Awwww, I wanted to have a party. Zabuza: We’re throwing a gaddamn party. Tsunade: With what? Everything’s GONE. Zabuza: We’ll find a way. Itachi: Hey, since my hair’s back, shouldn’t Kisame have to leave? Kisame: -clings onto Itachi- NOOO!!! I WON’T LEAVE!!! Itachi: -sighs- dammit… Deidara: I want Kisame to stay too yeah!! –hugs KisameLucifel: Cool, that’s ok with me. Sakura: Because it’s not like this place is crowded or anything. Lucifel: I promise, I won’t bring anymore people in. Sakura: …you’re lying aren’t you? Lucifel: Yeaaaaaah. OH! And also, Summer Wind now has over 100 reviews!! WOOOOT!!! Kyuubi: My sexiness is just so damn attractive. –smirkHAPPY BIRTHDAY! *gives a HUGE cake* Well I promised a prize to whoever kicked The Sailor Scouts ass... and as Sakura was the first person to speak after Yoda killed them.. -gives Sakura a pendant- This pendant allows you to absorbs peoples powers... even Kyuubi’s and Zakuras... Hmm, I have a question who there hasn’t had some sort of traumatic child-hood? And isn't it kind of messed up that Konoha let you grow up on you own Naruto... I mean you were only a little brat? -Throws in AnkoJune x Lucifel: thank you!! –eats cake-

Zabuza: GIVE ME THAT!! Lucifel: No! It’s my black-forest cake!! Kurenai: CHOCOLATE!! Lucifel: Oh screw this. –let’s them have itZabuza/Kurenai: -have a massive fight over it during which time Akamaru and Kiba steal it and go eat it in a cornerSakura: Haha!! YES!! Kyuubi: I don’t think so bitch. Sakura: -grabs arm- I will absorb your powers and then everyone will answer to ME!! Not you!! Kyuubi: Right, that little thing will absorb my powers IF and ONLY if you manage to breaks through the defenses around my powers…which are definitely tougher than you. Sakura: …MAN!! Kyuubi: Fox, actually. Sakura: -glaresEveryone: …-silenceShino: Well, my childhood was going ok until I walked in on my parents— Kiba: Oh, hated it when I saw my parents having sex! Shino: Well, mine were performing a satanic ritual with a bunch of other people while, yes, having sex… Kiba: Damn. And I thought catching my Dad whacking it to bestiality porn was bad. Neji: DUDE!! No one needed to hear about that! Kiba: Oh please, don’t pretend there’s anything you wouldn’t screw Neji: -gives fingerNaruto: Yeah, just a little.

Orochimaru: Oh plz, you can’t pull of intelligent sarcasm. Give it up. Sakura: -sneakily pokes Orochimaru- teeheehee… Orochimaru: Oh…why do I suddenly feel like I know a lot less Jutsu…? Anko: Maybe it’s brain damage from being here…I can’t believe I’m back this sucks. Happy birthday Lucifel! And does that mean that you're uh...an adult? Damn it!! No Sasuke!! TT_TT And no Ed-chan... Tsunade: Did Sarutobi ever catch you thre playing strip poker? And who won whenever you guys played? Oh, and I'll give you sake. Haku: Congrats for winning ^^ as a gift, I'll give you a nailpolish set with every possible kind of nailpolish! ...Or just nailpolish that can change color into any you want... Itachi: Yess! Your beautiful hair!! Can I braid it?! I'll give you fraps. -Throws in couches enough to fit everyone- Standing or sitting on the floor must get tiring, so there you go! And blankets and pillows too. We don't want you to get sick, do we? Lucifel: Nah, it means I can have sex with those over 21. Zakura: Which you’ll never do. Lucifel: Well of course, I write about whores cause I’m NOT one… Zakura: no, I meant everyone hates you. Lucifel: Bitch. Tsunade: Thank god, no. He might have tried to …perv…usually Oro won…-poutsOrochimaru: We should play again now!! Tsunade: how much you got on you? Orochimaru: A couple thousand… Tsunade: You’re on. Jiraiya!! Jiraiya: But you PUNCH when you start to loose….and you ALWAYS loose… Tsunade: Well I’ll kick too if you don’t play. Jiraiya: -sighs and slumps overZakura: So Anko…wanna screw?

Anko: no thanks, I just came from Shizune’s I’m good. Saku/Tsu/Zaku: -twitchy horrorHaku: YAY!! Zabuza: -nods approvinglyItachi: FRAP!!! –grabs greedilyGaara: -pokes hole in the bottom and lies underneath with his mouth openItachi: Sure, go ahead. Dei and I used to do each other’s hair all the time… Deidara: kyaaa! We should right now! Itachi: YEAH!! -they skip offEveryone: COUCHES!! Zabuza: -grabs one for him and Haku where they sit cuddling, and every grabs one, until there’s only one left for Kabuto and Sakura.Sakura: Dammit…and his powers aren’t worth sapping… Kabuto: Oh fuck you. –pulls a blanket up to his chinHeh-he. look what I found (shows chaos emerald) I'll use it to suck all the knowledge out of the geek then toss him in so you do what you want to him. (sucks out geeks knowledge and shoots syringes into Deidara and Itachi which inject pink liquid into them)For Deidara it makes the muscle growth serum permanent and gives him the ability to change his appearance. Same with Itachi, with added muscle growth serum. Jiraiya: Hey, Kabuto, you could use the nerd for your little games right? Kabuto: …fuck off…-sulksKiba: -kicks nerdDeidara: NONONONONONONONO!!! I DON’T WANNA BE BULKY!! Shikamaru: Well….you won’t be…

Deidara: huh? Shikamaru: Well, it would make it permanent but it was already out of you so…you’re good. Just don’t get shot-up again. Itachi: Same for me?! Shikamaru: No, she added muscle-growth serum to yours so….you’re screwed. Itachi: Dammit. –bulks upDeidata: You look straight…eww, yeah. Itachi: Dammit. Kisame: I still think you’re sexy. Lucifel: DUDE!! WE HAVE PILLOWS NOW!! PILLOW-FIGHT!! Zakura: no, that’s fruity. Lucifel: IT’S MY BIRTHDAY AND I WANT YOU TO HAVE A GODDAMN PILLOW-FIGHT!!! Zakura: -smack Kiba as hard as she can across the face with a pillow.Anko: -tackles Tsunade with a pillowHAPPY BIRTHDAY Neji-kun! *gives plushie maker kit* now you shall never get caught with a plushie of someone else when a randomer comes over HAS ANYONE HEARD THE JUTSU SONG? -makes it play continuously without an off buttonEverythings gone? *looks shocked* -gives Kabuto another pair of Elton John specs* Coz you know you can't do without Lucifel: THANK YOU!!! Neji: Dude! Right-on! –gets beans by a throw-pillow to the eye.- FUCK!! KIBA!!! Kiba: No! Don’t fuck Kiba! –smack with pillow againNaruto: -smacks Gaara in the ass with pillowItachi: -smacks Gaara’s ass…with his hand-

Gaara: GAH! NO! –jumps into Lee’s armsLee: -smacks with pillowGaara: …hate you… Lee: -adorable goofy grinGaara: -blushes and cuddles as Naruto beans them both over their heads againSakura: Oh goddammit…fucking music… Kyuubi: -twitchManda: -tries smothering Kiba with a pillowOrochimaru: Manda…play nice… Manda: No…. Orochimaru: Manda. Don’t make me send you to your room. Manda: Fuck you old man. Kabuto: Oh thank god. I was really gonna miss those… Sakura: -hits Kabuto in the back of the head so hard his glasses fly off and shatterHeehee, whoops….guess I don’t know my own strength…-innocent smileKabuto: -tacklesI can't really think of any questions at the moment, so I'll do this instead! (Opens up a portal) With this Portal, you can go into the other Ask fics, to see how different they are from yours! Well, I DID think up one question for everybody. What do you consider to be your catchphrase? Oh, and Happy Birthday, Lucifel! Oh, almost forgot. (Snatches away Chaos Emerald that UntamedDragon revealed) This will be PERFECT for making Metal Sasuke more powerful... Okay, Bye! For real this time! Itachi: -pokes his head inDeidara: -hits with pillow so he falls all the way through-

Kisame: Will he…come back… Deidara: …hope so, yeah… Kisame: -attacks with pillowItachi: -comes back gasping- IT…WAS…HORRIBLE!!! Orochimaru: Was the writing terrible?! Deidara: -escaping Kisame- Were they torturing us all the worse, yeah?! Kisame: Did they make you not sexy?! Itachi: No…no…we were all…all…-starts crying a little- I….I can’t say it… Deidara: What is it, yeah? We’re here for you. Itachi: We were…STRAIGHT!!! Dei/Oro/Kisa: -GASP IN HORRORJira/Tsu: -catapult pillows at them and knock them over- YOSH!! Anko: -pillow-tackles KurenaiKurenai: NO!! I TOLD YOU NEVER AGAIN!! Anko: Too damn bad honey!! Zakura: Who even has a catch— Naruto: DATTEBAYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not fucking “believe it” Lee: YOSH! YOUUUUUUTH!!!! Gaara: -face-palmsItachi: Gaara’s catchphrase is his glare, heh. Mine is “It’s Just Incest” Deidara: Teeheehee… Lucifel: Oh god, the fans are interacting again…this could be dangerous… Kyuubi: Bitch! Stop trying!!

Sakura: I wan’t power dammit!! Kabuto: -steals pendant- What now?! Sakura: GRAR!! –tacklesTsunade: I was afraid she might get power-hungry eventually oh well…-smack Jiraiya in the stomach with a pillow*Kisses Lucifiel in a romantic, and sexual fashion* Everyone: I don't see why lot -try- to escape so hard. I mean, as soon as you do -I'm- just going to capture you instead. Just wiating for Lucifiel to be done with you. Kabuto: Today's torture is Monkey Stick poke. *Sets an invincible monkey on his head. It pokes him in his head with a stick* Kyuubi: Fucking Aslan..Anything -else- you want as a reward while I hunt that fucking lion down? P.S. *Tosses in a clone of himself, only in his Emperor clothes, rathar then Samurai, and with a crazy smile* Someone cloned me, and made it crazy. Not sure why. Someone kill him for me? There's rewards in it. And don't worry, he's only -half- as strong as Kyuubi. Lucifel: thank you love!! –kisses backZakura: Slut. Lucifel: -sticks out tongue…forgetting that she was kissing Jaden so inadvertently starts sexy French kissing…heheZakura: -face-palms- And for your info Jaden, as soon as a fangirl relinquishes her ownership of characters even if another fan takes them it doesn’t count so screw you. Kyuubi: Besides, you can’t get me, I’m too badass. Lucifel: -whispers- nah, don’t let ‘em psyche you out, you’ll get ‘em. Kabuto: …what? Sakura: haha! You’re getting poked by a MONKEY!! Kabuto: I’m using my get-out-of-shit free token…NOW. –stops getting pokedSakura: well I want my pendant back!! Tsunade: -smacks in the face- Hey! None of that! Sakura: -blinks a few times- oh…yes…yes ma’am…sorry…

Tsunade: -sighs- …-gets hit in the head with Oro’s pillowKyuubi: Yeah…A keg of rum. Jiraiya: RUM!!!! Kyuubi: None for you, fat-ass. Jiraiya: -pouts-…-chucks pillow and hit Kyuubi’s shoulderKyuubi: Ass hole. Lucifel: Dude! Husband clone! Kyuubi: -sits back as they all start attacking the clone, getting beat back all the whileSakura: Kyuubi help us!! Kyuubi: Why should I? Sakura: Because you hate the fans! And this is the closest to kill one you’ll get! Kyuubi: Ok…good point… Haku: Teehee, no worries. The soul swords took care of it. Kyuubi: …Well fuck I guess I’ll just have to kill all of you! Itachi: Try it! We’ve got pillows!! Kyuubi: -grabs two pillows- Well I’m dual-wielding, bitch. Everyone: -runs around screamingHappy birthday! You live in Missouri? My friend moved their a couple of years ago, YAY~! Saku: Well seeing as you deserve something good happening, you can have those clothes back. -Gives another set of clothesAll: Anyone got any requests of what you'd like thrown in? Lucifel: thanks! And yeah, I live in Missouri. I like it where I live even if the Midwest can be a little dull… Sakura: YES!! –gets changedKiba: Ok, how are people getting changed without getting naked?!

Sakura: Don’t fight it! Just let it happen!! Itachi: Are you raping him now!? Sakura: SCREW YOU!! Kyuubi: -pelts Naruto violently with his pillowsAnko: SOMEONE SEXY!! Kurenai: I thought you weren’t in the mood?! Anko: You know that never lasts more than three minutes with me… Kurenai: -.-…-smacks with pillowHT: ok... clues... um... amber: it had difficult words she didn’t understand. HT: summer wind? im only a fem kyuubi fan. but im gonna find it and read it. amber: ok. i captured shizune and locked her in the bathroom. i have hyuuga hiashi in my torture chamber, along with Gerard Way. and i think kakashi was lured into the underwater dungeon. who do you want in there, and who should i kill? Itachi: Teehee, fans are dumb. Deidara: -hits with pillow- you can’t talk, yeah. Itachi: Obviously you’re the dumb one too since I’m talking RIGHT NOW. Deidara: …good point, yeah. Kyuubi: BITCH!! –charges Ht and hits computer screen- I’ll get you…I’ll get you… Neji/Hina: NOT HISASHI!! Itachi: KILL THEM ALL!! Anko: KAKASHI!! KYAA!! HE’S SO ADORABLE!! Kiba: But he’s a zombie now!! Anko: …WTF? Naruto: IT’S TRUE!!

Tsunade: You keep the paper-work happy bitch away from me. This is vacation time. Jiraiya: What a great vacation…-rolls eyesSakura: I thought you liked Shizune? Tsunade: When she’s not on about paper-work…which is never… Happy B-Hoo, Lucifel! Good work, Zabuza. (Holds out metal hand). It supercharges chakra, so any hand signs done with it produce triple-strength jutsu. It also has faux skin to hide it. Poor silly Itachi. He can take down jonin and Orochimaru with relative ease, but he can't take his dad's harsh words. (Gives silly Itachi an autumn-only pumpkin spice frappucino). (Blasts Shika with magical energy) I love it when you do the plothole thing, so you can do that again. (Gives Jiraiya and Orochimaru T-shirts that say 'You Got Boned', and gives Kimi a Tshirt that says 'Massive Boner'.) Itachi: B-Hoo…? Whatta hick. Orochimaru: SNEAK-PILLOW ATTACK!! –drops on Jiraiya and the tumble to the groundZabuza: SWEET-ASS!! –chops off hands again and attatches the new oneHaku: You did that fast… Zabuza: This hand is bad-ass. Why wouldn’t I? Haku: What if I don’t like it? –puppy eyesZabuza: -tries to rip it offHaku: Teehee, no, I like it. Zabuza: Oh…ok. –hugs…whaps with pillowHaku: jerk! –hits with pillow and they start violently pillow-bashing…and then making outItachi: Poor silly Itachi MY ASS!! …YAY FRAP!! –gulpsGaara: -tackles to get FrappucinoOrochimaru: Oh this takes me back in the day. –beams-

Shikamaru: -smoothing his magic-blasted hair- umm, thank you, but since we were all put back to normal that was already the case. Which is why I could bring up the Deidara thing. Oro/Jira: … Orochimaru: -snicker- I get it. –puts it on happilyJiraiya: …no… Tsunade: -cracking up- C’mon, put it on! Jiraiya: I don’t want— Tsunade: NOW!! –flamesJiraiya: Eep. –puts onKimimaro: Umm…that’s a little… Kiba: HILARIOUS!! WEAR IT DUDE!! Kimimaro: -rolls eyes and puts onLucifel: IT WAS YOUR BIRTHDAY!?!?...well i guess it was perfect timing for those winged men right? anyway since it is/was your b-day I hope you have/had a good one and continue to grace the internet with you kick ass stories and such. Also i dare everyone to get a sex change for the rest of the chapter and Lucifel gets to choose what you wear. Happy Birthday! MiniDeath. P.S.(throws in some random band that Lucifel likes) Lucifel: Aww, that’s the sweetest birthday wish yet, thank you! And yes…yes it was..leans back as the men massage herEveryone: Wait, what? -GENDERS CHANGED!!!!Kabuto: Oh COME ON!! I was just fixed!! Sakura: …this is so uncomfortable. –Shifts weightKiba: …-pokes boob- …dude I just turned myself on.

Shino: -rolls eyesNaruto: Gaara…you look good as a girl. Gaara: -hits with pillowLee: YOSH! EVEN AS A WOMAN I AM YOUTHFUL!!!!! Gaara: -pulls over to hide behind himLucifel: The guys are wearing their usual outfits only altered into skirts. And the opposite for girls. And ok…a band…LORDI!! Kiba: Lordi? Massive bio-mechanic man behind him: LORDI, bitch. Kiba: -turns around, meeps, and scuttles awayThe band begins to play their angry heavy metal music and everyone continues pillowfightingwoot! thats awesome lucifel, my birthday is 10 days after yours...cept ill be 18 ha! anyhoo. what are y'alls views on abortion, just curious. love the story, peace out home skillets. Lucifel: AWESOME!! HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY!! Ad thanks. Lordi: -sings the Devil is A Loser and He’s My BitchLucifel: I find that song slightly offensive, but Lordi’s awesome so it’s okay. Zakura: Wait…you’re offeded by a song because it’s about the devil? Lucifel: No, because it calls the devil a LOSER. I am certainly not. Zakura: …ok… Anko: YEAH FOR ABORTION!! WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE!! Kurenai: Ack! No! Every life is precious! Itachi: Bull SHIT. Were you there when Dad visited? Kurenai: but…but…

Hinata: I think it’s wrong too… Haku: I think it should be a woman’s choice. Orochimaru: Fuck, if a lady wants to abort her kid she should be able to! And until the kid can fight back it’s too damn bad if it’s rather live!! -and as usual with politics…they all eventually break down into a sharp, name-calling argument with everyone taking sides and ostracizing the other sideLucifel: Fuck this and lets keep up the pillow-fight. -it starts againLordi: -smacks Kiba with a flaming pillowoh, you guys shoud have asked Haku what he was going to say first. Jiraiya get away from Orochimaru while you can!Tsunade is so much better for you. Tsunade would you take Jiraiya? Kurenai you were married O.O you seem like the single/lesbian type. Itachi: Nah, this has done more good than bad. –strokes hairKabuto: -looks sadly at glassesSakura: dear god, wtf? I just got a boner for no reason!! Kiba: It happens…in fact I’d usually have one by now…I miss my dick… Shino: I miss your dick too. Kiba: -smilesJiraiya: But she’s so mean!! At least Oro’s just clingy!! Tsunade: NO! He’s an ass!! I hate him!! Orochimaru: People, people…we should just have a threesome!! Tsunade: NO! NEVER AGAIN!! Everyone else: AGAIN?!?! Jira/Tsu: -blushing furiously in embarrassmentOrochimaru: Yup. It was fun. –beam-

Deidara: I bet, yeah!! –Wallops with pillow- invite me to the next one!! Kurenai: I AM NOT LESBIAN!! Anko: and it’s such a SHAME!! –clingsKurenai: I’m a man right now, you shouldn’t like me anymore!! Anko: I don’t care, You’re still sexy. Kurenai: You just get a kick out of sleeping with the same gender as you. Anko: Uh-huh. Ceyx:HI MOMMY!! wait, you're seventeen? so much for the whole, "I existed before time began" sorta thing. So how old were you when you gave birth to me? Ashlynn: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Can I come visit you? I wish Anko was there, that sexy beast...Oh wait I'm a reviewer! *throws in anko* Ceyx: So I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I have a date for HomecomingAshlynn: So who's the lucky guy? Ceyx: I will KILL you. The bad news is that I've never gone before and need some advice on what to do. Ashlynn: Hinata, you're such a wuss for giving up like that! I mean *is muffled by a hand* MPH Ceyx: I will Effing kill you! DO. NOT. EVER. INSULT. HINATA-CHAN! Lucifel: Oh nonono, this INCARNATION of me is seventeen. I live lots of human lives for fun. This is just my latest. One of my favorites, I must say. I have anime. –smilesAnko: I’ve already been thrown—wtf?! Anko2: -walks in- what the fuck? Do I know you people…or your franternal othergendered twin? HOLY SHIT MALE ME!! Anko: WHAT THE HELL?!! Anko2: That’s the sexiest male I’ve ever seen…merow. Anko: -twitches- Damn you no! We’re lesbian! Anko2: Then who’s the guy you’re with?! Anko: KURENAI!!

Anko2: …kinky hot…DUDE!! PILLOW FIGHT HELL YEAH!! Itachi: yay! Gay fans!! Deidara: sadly, I don’t think he’s actually gay…yeah Itachi: Aww dammit. Well ‘grats anyway, I guess. Sakura: Good for you. Very happy for you! I hope you have fun!! The only thing is… Ninja don’t really have homecomings so I have no clue what to tell you. Kurenai: Basic advice for a date though? Be courteous and chivalrous as if it was no big deal, go out of your way without making it obvious. DON’T cling to her side every second, if she wants to talk to friends, let her, but don’t think she has the right to ignore you. Orochimaru: And if you play up the whole deal you just might get laid in the end!! Deidara: Make sure you know how to dance, yeah! Or at the very least can make people laugh about it. (not at, yeah) Kiba: YEAH YOU LITTLE BITCH!! NO MAKING FUN OF HINATA DAMMIT!! Kurenai: -glaresLucifel: Daughter, you be good. You know better. Hinata: Uh…um…thanks Ceyx? Naruto: -sneak-attacks Hinata with pillowKiba/Shin/Kure: GRAR!! HOW DARE YOU!! Naruto: -eepSakura: I bestow upon you the mystical power of Tohru from Fruits Baskets. (Whenever you hug a guy they turn into an animal). Have fun! Shikamaru: If you HAD to pick either Temari or Ino to save from dieing, who (out of the two) would you save? -Sheesh. I's hard trying to make questions loophole-proof. Sakura: What? That sucks…-tackles Tsunade…Tsunade turns into a lionessJiraiya: Why not a slug?! Sakura: But she’s—oh yeah, the gender-changing thing…

Zakura: Yeah, enough of that. –Everyone is back in their proper genders- Oh it’s good to have my cooch back… Anko: Meow, I agree, Tsunade: -poofs back into a human…nakedJiraiya: HOLY-- -nosebleeds so violently he hits the ceilingTsunade: ….fuck… Jiraiya: I was hoping so— Tsunade: -punches and puts on clothes- ass hole. Kabuto: -smack Sakura with a pillowSakura: -tacklesKabuto: -poofs into a white ferretJiraiya: A ferret? Sakura: I expected a weasel. Kabuto: Bitch, Orochimaru: I still wanna know why Tsunade wasn’t a slug… Zakura: Cuz slugs are gay!! They’re gross! They DON’T MAKE SENSE!! Tsunade: -sigh- it’s a sad truth… Shikamaru: …hmm…Ino. As annoying as she is…I do care about her, and she has been around me my whole life. It would hurt a lot more to lose her. Itachi: Aww, that’s so sweet. Shikamaru: -flips finger…which is promptly pillow-bashedhappy birthday Lucifel! *drops Shizune, Kakashi, and a box of infinite paperwork in* I'm kidnapping Zakura and taking her to the spa for 1 chapter so she can have a break from torturing you all(as well as a manicure). Signed, Blood, Gore and Lollipops

Lucifel: Thanks!! Tsunade: …hello Shizune. Shizune: Tsunade-sama!! Look at all this paper-work it’s insane!! Do you know how much has been building up since you’ve been gone?! Tsunade: -whaps with pillow- lighten up. Anko: SHIZUNE!! –glompsAnko2: SEXY!! –glompsShizune: …what? Two of you? –confusedOrochimaru: Hiiii Shizune!! Shizune: Orochimaru?! WTF?! Anko/Anko2: come on honey, let’s go have fun somewhere else… -all three leaveKakashi: Umm…I’m going with them… -follows snickering pervilyJiraiya: He reminds me so much of me… Tsunade: You’ve in no way raise him! How do you go about putting on that proud, fatherly tone, jackass? Jiraiya: shut up, he’s the biggest fan of my works! Tsunade: -rolls eyesZakura: …I’m SO gone. Kyuubi, you’re in charge while I’m gone. Kyuubi: Psh, like you ever had more authority than me anyway… Zakura: Screw you. –leavesKyuubi: All right, I want this pillow fight’s intensity doubled! Everyone: but— Kyuubi: GO!!

Everyone: -begins crazily bashing each other with pillows…nearly crushing poor FeretKabuto-just comes home from school- whew! -drops bag on bedWingo: -talking quickly and hyperly- yes!finally!you'rehome!I'vebeenwaitingforhours!! ?!?Wingo...did you drink coffee?... Wingo: relax,itwasonly,like,30cups! -laughs hyperlyoh no... 1. I feel like giving something away, but I would like to see another contest... Wingo: -blows bubble, pop!-gasps- that was mine! hmm...I know! who ever can blow the biggest bubble out of ONE piece can have an item of their choosing! -hands out gumwell...I have to deal with Wingo's coffee overdose. ugh... Wingo: byeeveryone!haveaniceweek!seeyounexttime!drinklotsacoffee! shut up, Wingo! -The Muffinator 3 Haku: Ewww coffee. Itachi: -while dodging a violently Deidara attack- Fuck coffee, drink fraps!! Gaara: HELL YEAH!! Kabuto: -poofs back- SHIT! –covers self with pillow. Kyuubi: HEY! The pillows are for smacking! Not covering! Kabuto: But— Kyuubi: DON’T QUESTION ME!!! Kabuto: -meep- attacks Orochimaru while trying to pull on pantsSakura: -twitchy blushingKyuubi: Ok, break for the bubble-blowing contest. Lee: -bursts bubble right away- dammit! I have too much YOUTH for this fragile piece of bubble-gum!! Gaara: -can’t even figure out how to make a bubbleOrochimaru: -makes huge bubble with his tongue-

Tsunade: Well, I give up. Akamaru: -blows HUGE bubble that pops and covers him all in bubblegumSo after a while… Kyuubi: K, Akamaru’s was the best!! Everyone: WHAT?! Orochimaru: He doesn’t even have the right mouth for it!! Akamaru: Bark, bark, arf yap yap!! –but have the heart!!!Kiba: YEAH!! –high-fivessticks lock card on door so that it looks locked and I give Orochimaru-sama wings. which ever kind he wants, they are scientifically whatever so that he can fly with them too. I love you Oro. happy birthday Lucifel Orochimaru: I LOVE YOU TOO!! I WANT SNAKE WINGS!! -crickets chirpingJiraiya: Oro…snakes don’t— -But at that moment from Oro’s back sprouting wings make of snakes skin and with spikes and shit on themOrochimaru: WHOOTT!! –uses them to fling pillowsEveryone: AUGH!! –ducks for coversSakura: -bumps into NarutoNaruto: -turns into a chibi-fox- aww man. Kyuubi: Cute. –gets hit by pillow- HEY BITCH!! –attacks OroKiba: We have a door? Shino: Dude, so we do…we should unlock it and see where it goes! It might be the way out!!

Kiba: Ok! I guess I’ll try the only key I have. –uses Sakura key…but is deflected- WTF?! Akamaru: bark, woof, yapyap arf!! –it must be one of those cards!! I can sense great power from it! Kiba: All right!! –makes staff- RETURN TO THE— Lee: -beans with pillow- YOSH!!! Kiba: KNOCK IT OFF!! –ahem- RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT— Hinata: KYAA!! –hides behind Kiba from Deidara who is then dispatched by Kurenai and Hinata runs away againKiba: Grrr…RETUR— Neji: -throws pillow at himKiba: JUST TURN INTO A CARD DAMMIT!! Lock card: -forms and floats into his handKiba: -seals- …fuck the door’s gone. Shino: that was pointless… Kiba: Nuh-UH!! I got a new Kiba Kard!! Shino: -rolls eyesTo Who it May Concern (Lucifel and Co.): We have the one you know as 'Kryah'. If you ever wish to see her or her Gifts again, you will do as I say. FirstlyYou shall send me all caffenated beverages and perverted objects and literature in your posession. This includes scrapbooks. Secondly: I shall replace Itachi as badass of the millenium. Thirdly: I want your skillets and chocolate. To prove I'm serious, attatched to this letter is a photo of Kryah bound, gagged, blindfolded and chained to the wall by her wrists. By the by, tell that Sasuke boy to stop trying to kill me over the phone. EvilGuyMAN (It's european bitches.)

Pillows: -finally they all just fall into tatters and the room is full of feathers and everyone collapses onto couchesSakura: Oh…oh dear…looks like we’ll have to get Kryah back… Kabuto: -on the same couch with her- yeah…except for the part where none of us like the fans… Sakura: shut up, Kryah’s cool. Kurenai: I am NOT giving up my skillets…and DEFINITELY not my choclate!! Kisame: I’m not giving up my Itachi pron!! Tsunade: You know the only option left then right? Lee: YOSH!! RESCUE-MISSION!! Sakura: Later…I’m exhausted…-leans against Kabuto to sleep…he turns into a ferret again and she uses him as a pillowKabuto: -sighsEveryone: -agrees and they all cuddle up on the couches snoozing, the most interesting couplings of which are Kyuubi and the newly-turn-back Naruto who was so drowsy when he turns back he forgot to get dressed, and the Sannin three-way-cuddling going on in the corner couch…feathers continue to fall-

Ask Sakura 46 Sakura: Rescue party awake and ready to go? Zakura: Check. Kabuto: Wait!! I need to put my clothes on for fucks sake! Sakura: -rolls eyes- Food? Zakura: ….sort of, check.

Sakura: sort of? Zakura: Well, we have some food but it’s mostly crap and Kiba’s already eaten most of it so…you know. Sakura: Ok, well…water? Zakura: No check. Sakura: Umm…rides? Zakura: If you can convince Manda to let you ride him be my guest. Sakura: weapons?! Zakura: No check. …Well, we have bits of wood… Sakura: AM I THE ONLY ONE SERIOUS ABOUT RESCUING KRYAH?! Everyone: …Yeeeess. Sakura: Oh. Well anyway… Zakura: Yeeeeah… I just read this story in a few hours, today... Mrah. Kyuubi, will you judge my evil laugh too? And happy belated birthday, Lucifel-chan! I'm sorry I missed your actual birthday ;-; -offers large amounts of junkfood and suspicious-looking novels..hugs- .. Can someone tell Sasuke to stop shooting things in my bedroom window? Last night I had to sew his torso back on 'cause he hid in the closet and ..yeah. Accidents happen.. -Cuppy, xox -the cast is suddenly in the middle of the desert, decled out in traveling gear and all that nonsense, Kiba has a map in handItachi: You mean we really ARE rescuing Kryah?! Kabuto: Don’t complain, we’re out of the room aren’t we? Itachi: We’re in a DESERT!! Kisame: -rocking back and forth- don’t like…no, no…don’t like…water…water all gone…where did it go? I don’t know…the duck stole it…the duck goes meow…

Itachi: Dammit, this is why we hated taking him to sand country…-pulls him to his feetcome on… Gaara: -grinning massivelyLee: hu? Gaara: this is my world!! Haha!! Let’s go bitches!! –charges forwardKiba: Hey I have the map! Gaara: And?! Did I say I cared WHERE we were going? Kiba: Well the map says that way! –pointsGaara: That’s the way I was JUST going! Kiba: Oh…well…keep moving… -they charge off with everyone followingNeji: Is anyone else worried about the fact the Kiba was holding the map SIDEWAYS?! Everyone: Shut up, Neji!! Neji: Screw you guys… Kyuubi: Yeah sure whatever. I’m thirsty…let me drink your blood. Naruto: Who are you asking?! Kyuubi: Anyone! I’m fucking thirsty! Kurenai: this whole beginning thing is not boding well… Lucifel: thanks! I don’t care if it was late! Kurenai: -grabs novelsHinata: -looks over shoulderItachi: YOU BLEW MY SASUKE UP?! That’s it! I’m re-directing this mission to that bich’s house to get revenge! Tsunade: Yeah…have fun, we’re all totally gonna THAT idea.

Gaara: Sand, sand….sandysandysandsand…-smilesKankuro: Ok, you’re fucking weird. Gaara: Don’t you ever get like that over our home environment? Kankuro: No…no I never do… Gaara: …shut up. –glaresKiba: I think we should turn… Shino: which way? Kiba: -examines map closely then abruptly turns to the left- THIS WAY!! Shino: …into the suspicious-looking deadly sandstorms? Kiba: Hey. Don’t question the map all right? Shino: I was actually just thinking we could walk like, a mile further and go around them… Kiba: DO NOT QUESTION THE MAP!! Shino: This is getting too insane. Ooh, rescue mission -drops in a chest full of weapons- that should help ^.^ -chucks naruto his HOT clothes from the makeover Deidara did on himWhere the hell was Sasori all last chapter? Who do you think is the strongest person in the show?and the sexiest person in the show? June x Sakura: Yes! Now we have weapons! Deidara: No! If we have weapons we’re up for attack, yeah! Sakura: …and what if we were attacked without weapons? Deidara: …don’t be ridiculous, yeah. Sakura: …I wouldn’t dare.

Kurenai: SKILLET!! –grabs and snuggles- Best weapon ever. Tsunade: you don’t NEED a skillet to be given to you, I know you can pull one out of thin air. Kurenai: No, no, it needs to be thick air. Tsunade: …leave the stupid comments to your students… Shin/Hin: Hey!! Kiba:…oh, uh, am I offended? Shino: ….no you’ve just proven us right. Kiba: Oh, you’re welcome. Naruto: HEY!! Right on! –gets changed- I actually feel pretty awesome in these clothes. –smileGirls: -swoonSasori: Hmm? I was happily avoiding being asked any fucking questions, thank you. Deidara: Aww, sassy. You know we love you, yeah Sasori: Yes, I know…I was trying to avoid that fact… Deidara: -hugKurenai: Ok, so are we seriously walking straight into these sandstorms? Dei/Kib/Kisa/Naru/Lee: CHARGE!!! Tsunade: Well we know who’s not SMARTEST. Jiraiya: Hehe, yeah. Tsunade: You aren’t in the running either so shut up. Jiraiya: …dammit, you’re all mean. I’m going to attack the sandstorms and ignore you and YOU can’t attack them!! Tsunade: I’m so offended. –rolls eyes- Yondaime, obviously. Orochimaru: Ok, let’s try LIVING characters!?

Kyuubi: Right…I KILLED Yonny…and I’m awesome. Why are we even discussing this? I’m the sexiest too. Kurenai: ….I’m not arguing. Tsunade: Yeah, me neither. Naruto: Oh noes…I think we made the sandstorms angry… Sakura: I hate you all!! Sakura: Gives a cellphone which has Sasuke's number on speed dial(and the battery is fully charged) And also is there any food you guys want? Just ask and I'll send it to you next time... Blood, Gore, and Lollipops Sakura: YAY!! Neji: …there’s no cell-service in our world. Sakura: I hate my life. SANDSTORM EXPLOSION!! -After the explosion fades they are suddenly in a huge jungle full of…jungle stuffKiba: Dude! Who needs food when we have suspiciously-colored mushrooms?! Shino: Yeah…who would ever need to worry about— Kiba: Dude, this mushroom tastes like…death… Akamaru: Bark, bark, yap arf. –Kiba, sometimes I think I got all the brains here…Lucifel: HAPPY BRITHDAY(even though it's ed) here's a Giant Triple Chocolate Mud cake BTW the new Come Come paradise movie is out and the last screening is today. and they aren't planning on putting it on DVD. *Steals kurenai's skillet and all the Itachi porn from Kisame, steals all the caffine related drinks and turns them into water, shaves Deidara's hair off, paints Gaara's gourd hot pink * FiGhTiNgDrEaMeRs Lucifel: THANK YOU!! God I love my fans. ^_^ CAKE!!

Hinata: Cake? Lucifel: I’ll share… Haku: I want some! Zabuza: -steals from Hinata to give some to HakuEveryone: -GASP!- you bastard! Jiraiya: OK! Before anyone panics!! Everyone: We’re not panicking… Jiraiya: I will obviously have a copy all for myself since I wrote the screenplay so we can all get together and watch/re-inact it later. Everyone: …NO! Orochimaru: Ok! Jiraiya: Damn, foiled. Kurenai: You can’t steal my skillet because I only take it out when smashing face with it and I KNOW you ain’t gonna reach where I keep it… -crickets chirpingKisame: Damn this forest is noisy…GIMME MY PRON BITCH!! Itachi: Hey! I want payment for that! Those were special presents for—I mean, I never wanted those made…. Deidara: Lies, yeah! Itachi: Aren’t we supposed to be rescuing some broad?! Shino: I’m not following Kiba anymore. Gaara: -glares at humidityLee: Blarg, forests are smothering… Gaara: -glares all the harderItachi: HEY!! BITCH!! I WANT MY FUCKING FRAPS!!

Gaara: -twitch- I’m bringing the list back out… Itachi: Yeah! Deidara: NOOOOOO!!!! Kiba: It’s ok, you can put this on your head…-holds up mushroomsDeidara: …wtf? Kiba: They’re all shiny… Shino: You’re high aren’t you? Kiba: -hic- yeah… Shino: …gimme some of those ‘shrooms. Deidara: Well…if you think it’ll work, yeah…-plants multiple mushrooms on headGaara: WTF?! IMMA KILL YOU BITCH!! Lee: -holds backKiba: DUDE!! THE MAP IS LIKE—MOVING!! Shino: WE SHOULD FOLLOW IT!! Everyone: -blindly follows the high kidsShikamaru! *grins evilly* If I can get you out there for a week will you come tutor me for my exams... I'll pay you AND get Chouji here too! Why does Gaara no get frapps? Lee! You mission is to cheer Gaara-kun up! LORDI! *fangirlscream* WOW! Maru-dono... how many times did you guys have a threesome? coz they wont answer and i think more than once Ferret! Kawaii! LUFFLE Shikamaru: -cleans ear- Oww…I hate fangirl screams. Kiba: GIANT SPIDER!! Lee: Where?!!

Kiba: THERE!! Sakura: But that’s just a normal-sized— Kiba: AAAGGGH!! –attacksSakura: I hate drugs… Shikamaru: And no, too troublesome. I’m sorry you’re stupid but I’m not gonna fix it for you. Kurenai: Shikamaru!! You’re supposed to be one of the polite ones! Shikamaru: Fine…sorry… Kurenai: Like you MEAN it… Shikamaru: Ugh, FINE. I’m very sorry I was far less bitchy than everyone else… Kurenai: Good enough. Gaara: Why do you ask why I get no frapps, and then NOT GIVE ME ANY?!?! Lee: -dramatic kissGaara: Umm…I’m over here. Lee: -blink, blink- Then who… Akamaru: Grooooooowl. –Eww, human breathLee: -sweatdropGaara: I’m real cheery…-sulksKiba: It’s NOT DYING!! Shino: DON’T KILL IT!! IT’S JUST A BUG!! BUGS ARE GOOD!! Kiba: DIE!!! Lordi: -chilling back in the room- s’up. –holds up rock-n-roll handsignOrochimaru: ALL the time. It was like, our way of celebrating!! Tsunade: …-blushing- I hate you.

Jiraiya: Oh those were the days… Neji: SHIT! REAL GIANT SPIDER!! Kiba: Dude…it’s like…colors and stuff… Shino: I’m gonna HUG it!! Aw, cute ^^ O.o my back's making crunching sounds... Kurenai: My parents are making me eat when I'm not hungry, AND making me eat medicine, EVEN THOUGH I'M FINE!! They won't listen to me T_T What am I going to do? (small pathetic voice: help...me...) Shikamaru: I'll give you that letter thingy with Chouji back, unless it's needed for Kryah's rescue... Then it wouldn't really matter if I give it or not -.-" Sakura/Zakura: In case the whole spa thing after you get out of the Room-of-Doom was cancelled when everything was...well, gone, I'll give it back to you! ^^ Have fun! Okay I got nothing else to say... Bye~! -hugs everyoneKurenai: Call child protection services. Or threaten too. Kimimaro: But when you do it, don’t give them time to whoop your ass. Kabuto: Yeah. WE had to call them on Oro a few times… Kimimaro: Oh, that was brilliant. Orochimaru: That was MEAN. Kabuto: -snickersLee: AM I THE ONLY ONE TRYING TO KILL THIS THING?! Naruto: No! I’m helping! Sakura: Is that what they call it when you’re getting your leg chewed off by a spider nowadays? Naruto: It hurts… Shikamaru: right on, thanks. –starts scribbling madlySaku/Zaku: WHOOOO!!! Lee: OWW!! IT’S GOT MY ARM!!

Shino: Aww…it’s hugging me with it’s jaws… *Purrs in her ear, all evil and sexy looking, with wild, untamed hair* Love, what do you think about me getting a demon form? Kyuubi: *Hands a bottle of rum* Kyuubi, I dare you to pummel Kabuto. And in -return-, since you're so badass you deserve gifts for doing dares, I'll magically transport you to Narnia as soon as you pummel him, so you can destroy it all, and thus, kill Aslan compeltly. Kabuto: And -after- he's done pummeling you...*Covers you in rabid squirells. One of them is Foamy* Gaara: Hey, Gaara, can you kill someone for me, as a favor? I'll build you Frap mountain, that has a center of solid Frap, and pours frap over the edges if you do. P.S. *Grins, then resurects, and tosses in the Yondaime* Lucifel: Mmmm, I think that sounds wonderful. –cuddlesSakura: Godaammit!! Stop sleeping with the fans! Lucifel: Sleeping? Honey, they keep me up ALL night! Sakura: -face-palmsTsunade: Oh, fuck this. –crushes SpiderNaru/Shin/Lee: -lie twitching on the ground-they start walking again, now Kimimaro has the mapKyuubi: Right on. –chugs- ahhhh, that was good. –smack Kabuto with one punch, sending him to the ground in a bloody pile- I want aslant NOW. Kabuto: FUCKING SQUIRRELS!! Foamy: That’s right punk! I’ll teach you to be all nerdy and rolling all your dumb-ass dice, and— Kisame: -shootsFoamy: -explodesKisame: SO glad I picked the shotgun… Deidara: -high-fivesGaara: Yeah! Talk about a mood-booster!!

Lee: You mean I can’t cheer you up? Gaara: You ain’t kissing me with dog-breath. Lee: aww… Naruto: HOLY SHIT IT’S YONDAIME!! Yondaime: Son! It’s so good to see you again! Naruto: Wow! And he is fond of me enough to refer to me in an endearing term that implies fatherly care! Yondaime: Uh…did no one ever tell him— Jiraiya: Nah, we figured it made a good non-surprise pointless secret for later in the show. Yondaime: Dammit, you all suck. Even my students, whom I expressly told to make sure my son knew who his parents were and why I did what I did? Jiraiya: Yeah…Kakashi kind of got minor amnesia and whats-her0face is well…a minor character no one gives a shit about. Naruto: Hey, who’s your son?! Yondaime: Err…you… Naruto: …-stunnedYondaime: Now, I know you’re shocked and ridiculously happy to find your father AND find out he was your idol and greatest ninja— Ninja: YOU PUT KYUUBI IN YOUR OWN KID?!? THAT’S FUCKED UP!! I HATE YOU!! Yondaime: Er….what? –twitchZakura: What do you think about Yuri Incest? Kurenai: If you stop people from breaking the Fourth Wall, then I'll give you this goldplated skillet! Zabuza: How would you like to be turned into a Cyborg? Haku: Do you still have the Swords that I gave to Lucifel? If so, I'll trade you this Room full of Mirrors to get them back! Kabuto: Have a Chuck Norris Cowboy Hat.

Zakura: I think….FUCK YEAH!! Itachi: IT’S INCEST BABY!! Kisame: I love it when you’re kinky… Zabuza: Well it might— Haku: Cyborgs are creepy. Zabuza: No. Never. Fuck off. Yondaime: Listen, Naruto I— Naruto: I’m not talking to you. Yondaime: Naruto I want to— Naruto: What? Does someone hear the sound of a complete and tota ASSHOLE talking? Yondaime: -sighHaku: But…I can make my OWN mirror…what the fuck is the point of that? I LIKE my swords. Zabuza: You like my sword. Haku: Teeheehee… Kabuto: Fragum? Sakura: Aww, his brain’s squished. Kabuto: -shakes head- eugh…what the fuck am I wearing? –tries to take it off- … -failsIt’s STUCK!! Sakura: Buwahahahaha! Serves you right! -they fall into a pit-fallEveryone: SHIIIIIIIIT!!!! OI! Who nicked my chaos emerald! Well, at least I absorbed the other six so no one can reach them. (clicks fingers and makes it rain fraps) sorted.

where's Snowshoes? Hm...(clicks fingers and a chocolate syrup pool appears) Bye bye losers! Zakura; The real question is…who gives a shit? Sakura: Stop. Zakura: No. We’re all cramped in the bottom of this fucking pit-fall, and now fans are saying random crap I don’t care about so— Sakura: SHUT UP! You’re a bitch! Zakura: No. Naruto: Hey, I want a new seat. Yondaime: Come on Naruto… Itachi: Shut the fuck kid, we’re all cramped, and most of us would give a lot to be next to someone as sexy as your dad. Kisame: Hey, you’re next to me… Itachi: Yeah, you and Lee…whoopee…well, and I’ve got SOMEONE crushing my ribs… Jiraiya: Sorry, I’m pinned myself. Itachi: Dammit. Gaara: WOOT!! Itachi: EVERYTHING IS BETTER NOW!!...dammit! My arms are pinned!! Deidara: Who the fuck—oh…oh that… Sasori: Oh yeah, that happened off-screen didn’t it… Deidara: Yeah…hehe, whoops, yeah… Sasori: Anyway… Deidara: Yeah! Moving on yeah… Jiraiya: I SO want to get back now!

Itachi: I hope Lordi doesn’t get it all grotty with their rock-funk…heavy metal is awesome but it is dirty… Everyone: -nods(Drops chainsaw into the room) Who wants to chase Sasori around with this? Naruto & Jiraiya: When people get rushed with a Chidori or Rasengan, do they always follow anime protocol, or does somebody occasionally STEP OUT OF THE WAY? (Shuts off the gravity in the room) Enjoy your hijinks. Kyuubi: Fuck chasing Sasori I just wanna use the chainsaw…on everyone. Zakura: Down Kyuubi. Yondaime: KYUUBI?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! Kyuubi: Er, no. Now if you’ll excuse me. –jumps out of pit…into a group of fierce Amazonian women- Herm…I don’t suppose you’d want to have an orgy and call the whole killing thing off? Amazonian women: RAAAAAAR! –attackKyuubi: Oh well. –starts chainsawNaruto: WHAT is going on up there?! Jiraiya: I…er…hmm… Yondaime: DUDE! That reminds me. –smacks JiraiyaJiraiya: WTF?! Yondaime: Someone did that to me! I was SO thrown-off I was almost beaten you asshole! You need to prepare a guy for that kind of stuff! Jiraiya: I…I didn’t know it happened… Yondaime: Yeah, well, it does…ass hole… Orochimaru: Man! Now I REALLY wanna get back!! Kurenai: Fuck yeah! Kimimaro: Am I the only worried about what a mess that’ll be? Kabuto: Yup.

Kimimaro: Figures. Sakura: So…I landed on Kankuro and now he’s black cat…what do I do… Itachi: Hand him here, I’ll take of the naked boy… Knakuro: -hisssSakura: I need to remove this curse thing… Kabuto: Don’t you have your cancel-one-thing trinket left? Sakura: Oh yeah… Kiba: IS THAT FOOD?! –eatsSakura: …hate you. Kyuubi: Hey all! Ignore the blood dripping over the edge of the pit and get your asses up here! Itachi: oh nononononoNO! you do not get to be super musculer! (takes away the musels so he looks sexy again) everyone else: (is showered in a lime green liquid) you now have to say something random before answering to a question or dare. MiniDeath P.S.(slips the death note into lees back pocket) Itachi: Thank you!! Ok, I hate you less than the rest now. Kurenai: Right, cause not enough random shit happened before. Sakura: Yeah… Kiba: I don’t want us to have to do that… Trinket: -shinesFix’d Sakura: That was gay… Zakura: And sneaky. You should have let it last a little while at least. Lucifel: Shut the fuck up.

Lee: -takes out book- hmm? A journal? I will write about Gaara! Ryuk: Hyukukukuku…this should be amusing… Lee: AAAAAA!! MONSTER!!! Kyuubi: RYUK!! Ryuk: Kyuubi-chan? Kyuubi: -punches- I told you not to call me that. Ryuk: Not what you said last night. Kyuubi: Oo Ryuk: Hgyugugugugu. I’m practicing human humor. Kyuubi: You’re a fucking FREAK. Everyone: -finally manages to get out of the pitSakura: Eww…so these were our captors? Kyuubi: Yeah…they kind of sucked. Ryuk: So did your mom. Kyuubi: Ok, seriously, stop that. Lee: -quivers behind GaaraNaruto: Who the fuck are you talking to Kyuubi? Yondaime: Why the fuck is Kyuubi here? Sakura: O, he got it. He’s been decent really… Yondaime: God, this is a fucking mess… amber: ok... kakashi and shizune got away, damn their souls, but i captured kureno and haru and hatori. HT: isnt haru in the cuddle chamber? amber: SHUT UP! HT: okay... hey! i am not dumb! and no, you will not get me kyuubi. but im depressed

now that such a fluffy character doesnt like me... amber: ok, ill give fraps to whoever can turn kyuubi into a chibi fox. Kankuro: Send them in! –frantically tries to get clothes on before the fangirls tackles himHinata: -turns bright redItachi: Yeah! Hatori is SMEXY!! Kisame: Mmm, I have some Hatori pron too… Itachi: CHEATER!! Kisame: Wtf? I thought you didn’t like me having pron of you. Itachi: But you could at least be LOYAL about it…geez… Kyuubi: I’M NOT FLUFFY!! Zakura: huh, yeah right….no one here has the power to— Ryuk: what’s a frap? Gaara: It’s YUMMY. Ryuk: Mmmm…you look crazy enough to believe. –turns Kyuubi chibiKyuubi: W…T…F?! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS RYUK!?! Ryuk: Yeah well… Kyuubi: FRIENDS DON’T LET FRIENDS TURN CHIBI!! Ryuk: Sorry…-sips frap- Oooh, worth it. Kyuubi: I hate you. Yondaime: Aww, who’s the adorable little chibi demon…is it you? Is it you? I think it is! Awwww googoogoo… Kyuubi: I hope you realize this just makes YOU look like an idiot. Yondaime: Worth it. Kyuubi: I hate you Ryuk.

Ryuk: -shrugs- I want an apple… Kyuubi: Fuck you. Okay I throw Kero into the room. Oro-sama I give you sexy snakeskin dress with a low cut back (for your wings) and long slits up the sides. ^_~ Shikamaru I give you my math homework. Just in case you’re bored. Kero: Wtf? Where am I? there chocolate and heavy-metal musicians floating everywhere?! Kiba: DUDE! I can’t wait to meet him!! –bounces happilyAkamaru: -sits and sulksOrochimaru: IT GOES WITH MY WINGS!!! –puts it onItachi: Hey yeah, fly up and see if there’s anywhere to go… Orochimaru: K. –flies up- DUDE!! THERE’S A TOTALLY EVIL FORTRESS LIKE THREE FEET AWAY!! Tsunade: …that’s way too fucking convenient. Kyuubi: I’m not going to a dark palace like this! Yondaime: Oh don’t be a pussy, let’s go. Kyuubi: -grumbles and followsShikamaru: WTF is it with everyone trying to give me their homework? Why the uck would I want to do math for OTHER people?! That’s too troublesome! That’s ridiculous! RAH! –scribblesYondaime: What is he doing? Neji: Writing to the fat kid. Yondaime: Choza’s son? Are they together too? Neji: TOO? Yondaime: Oh right…they got married to women in the end…keep forgettint that.

Shikamaru: -shocked and terrifiedYou know... When Itachi said he wanted to ride Narutos mom...it irked me... So now i shove a potion down Itachis throat that makes it so he can never grow back cranium hair! HAHAHAHA! Because he irked me... Itachi: Well HA cause that’s doesn’t mean my hair is GONE it just won’t grow back so nyeh. –sticks out tongue- But just to be sure…-rips off Kabuto’s hat ad puts it on to guard his hairKabuto: OWW!! FUCK! I think you got my SKIN! Sakura: Aww, poor baby. –snickerYondaime: You said you…YOU FUCKER!! –grabs Itachi by the throat and starts kicking assNaruto: WOOOT! GO YONDAIME! I mean….er…I hate you… Itachi: -collapses to the ground and Yondaime stalks to the door sof the huge, imposing dark citadel and pounds on the doorYondaime: WE’RE HERE FOR THE GIRL!! -The top window creeks open and a tall man in a red suit with long white hair leans outStrange man: Helllllo duelists! Welcome to my jungle tournament! The prize will be— Yondaime: Listen, we’re just here for the girl. Strange Man: Now listen, I know Bakura is feminine but he IS a boy and I kidnapped him to steal back the millennium items he took and kick his ass for kicking mine earlier so— Jiraiya: Who the fuck ARE you? Man: I’m Maximillian Pegasus, duelist extraordinaire and— Jiraiya: SO no girl? Pegasus: Eww no. Ever since my wife died I’ve been COMPLETELY gay. Yondaime: Do you happen to know where we might find a kidnapped fangirl? Pegasus: Oh, there are just SO many…I don’t know…hold on. HEY SETO!! Seto (offscreen): DAMMIT PEGASUS!! I told you not to let them know I’m here!

Pegasus: Now, now, Kaiba-boy it’s not like I told them you’re currently pantless and tied to my bed or something… Seto: PEGASUS!! Pegasus: Sorry, sorry. Have any fangirls been captured recently? Seto: Yeah, I think I saw Mr. Evil or what-the-fuck-ever flying by with one. Now get back here. Pegasus: Oh yeah! Ok, guys, it’s just a few doors down! Have a nice day! –closes windowSakura: …so disturbed. Yondaime: Well…let’s…go nextdoor? Everyone: sure… Tsunade: Since you’re always beating on Jiraiya for being a pervert, why do you wear an outfit that covers almost nothing on the top? I mean, you could at least cover them up a little so you don’t give every male you meet a free show. Tsunade: Oh well…you see…this was the biggest top I could fnd. Yondaime: Awkward. Why didn’t you just have one custom made? Tsunade: …they didn’t have enough fabric… Itachi: -snrrrkOrochimaru: That’s what you get false-y. Tsunade: THEY’RE NOT FAKE!! Oro/Jira: BULL!! Yondaime: -knocks on the next doorDoor: -creaks open to reveal a snakey-looking man- hello? Yondaime: Hi,. We’re looking for a kidnapped fangirl— Snekman: No, no fangirls here. Just Harry…naked…tied to the bed…

Harry: VOLDEMORT! I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL THEM!! Orochimaru: VOLDEMORT?!?!? –tackles/killsKyuubi: I though we already killed him? Orochimaru: -walking over wiping off blood- Well, now he’s dead again. It was your BIRTHDAY? HAPPY late BIRTHDAY!! Kyuubi:...I don't know if this was mentioned or not before... but are you in human form? And if you are (or not), how do you like like? Sakura: Your starting sound More and MORE like Zakura, you know that? Lucifel: THANK YOU! YOU ROCK! Yondaime: -at the next door- Let’s try this again. –knocks-no answerKyuubi: Well I WAS in human form as a tan, tall, fiery haired/eyed man, but now I’m a fucking chibi fox. Yondaime: -knocks again-No answerYondaime: Must be the place. –kicks the door downNorrington: HEY!! DO YOU MIND?! I’m trying to tie Will to the bed. Will: Oh, I know my place, Norrington…between you and Jack… Jack Sparrow: FUCK YEAH! I knew the innuendo was intentional! Where’s the rum? Yondaime: -closes door- This is getting so old… Itachi: Hey! Open that again! Yondaime: NO! Moving on… Sakura: I AM NOT YOU JERK!! Zakura: -ahemSakura: I mean…er…I most certainly am not.

Zakura: Nice try. Lyon Ryuushi masterbates to Naruto. He loves ItaNaru and GaaNaru so Naruto be careful. Stay away from that freak. And he hates Sakura and Hinata. And he's 12. Sakura: ummm…what? Itachi: Obviously, someone hacked his profile and left this as a joke. Deidara: We however, are going to endorse this as entirely true, yeah. Itachi: DUH. Sakura: We are not! Tsunade: Oh loosen up. Wingo's been unconscious for a few days now...should I be worried? Boost: -drives up out of nowhere eating italian ice- nah, that always happens after he drinks coffee. 1. moving on...Akamaru, you never said what you wanted! 2. Boost: ahem...Tsunade...if slugs are gay and gross...then why the crap did you choose to summon them?! 3. Boost: hmm...fraps are better than coffee...Muffinator! I need your fangirl powers to give Itachi and Gaara each a crate of Vanilla flavored frappuccinos. what? no, get 'em yourself! Boost: -clears throat in an angry and menacing wayfine! -fraps appear-The Muffina Tsunade: Because on the day we were picking summoning animals I woke up late…it sucked. Jiraiya: It was SO awesome. Orochimaru: -high-fivesYondaime: THIS HAS GOT TO BE IT!! Through the door a squeaky voice is heard: This is not the citadel of Mr. Evil Guy, go away! We have no fangirls here! Yondaime: -rasengan’s the doorDoor: -steps out of the way-

Yondaime: FUCK!! WHY IS IT ONLY ME?! Jiraiya: Oooh, that does suck. Naruto: -rasengan’s door and it shattersYondaime: …no fair. Akamaru: Arf, arf, bark yap howl. –Oh, I’m pretty content…I guess just give Kiba something…Kiba: I could really use a sandwhich right now… -Sandwhich appearsKiba: CONVENIENCE!! Akamaru: -sighsMr. Evil Guy: -with a deeper voice now- Very well, if that’s what it takes, I will give you the most dramatic face off you’ve ever seen! Ryuk: -writes evil-man’s name in Death NoteMr. Evil Guy: -collapsesEveryone: WTF? Yondaime: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?! Ryuk: Cause ruining dramatic moments seems to really irk humans…heehee. Everyone: Fuck it let’s go home… -they all start walking homeGaara: FRAPS RAIN!! -They run around trying to catch frapsAm I the only person who actually likes Sakura? Also, I think she actually has big boobs, and is hiding them with a chakra-enhanced bra. FYI, I heard a rumor that Sasuke is actually bi, and is currently doing Tenten. Everyone (besides Sakura, Lee and Naruto): YES!! Sakura: That’s a lie…

Naruto: Yeah! We’re all somebodies too, y’know! Zakura: lies. Itachi: Speaking of lies, Sasuke is totally gay. Somebody LIED to you… Gaara: K, I have acrap-ton of fraps. Let’s go home. -They all head outHinata: Ano…umm…didn’t we forget something? Kiba: Nah, I can’t imagine what, Hinata: Oh…ok… Meanwhile in the last citadel: Kryah: Umm…Mr. Evil Guy, are you gonna give me food yet? Helloooo? Are you dead? Am I being rescued? Hello? Lucifel: Oh irony. Anyway, hope this was enjoyable. See you back in the room next week! Oh, and btw, I recently watched like, ALL of Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, I highly recommend it for anyone who has ever watched Yu-Gi-Oh. It’s fucking hilarious. Ciao!

Ask Sakura 47 Lucifel: OMGOMGOMG!!! LOOKIE!! EARLY UPDATE!! AREN’T YOU PROUD?!?! Ok, moving on with the story. Orochimaru: Hey, where is everyone? Sakura: -floats over to a piece of paper that is randomly floating around the room and reads- Dear weird-ass ninja kids, we got bored and have a gig to do so we took the chocolate sauce and went back to Europe. Yours Truly, Lordi.

Kiba: Dammit! I wanted chocolate sauce! Kero: Eh, I had eaten most of it already anyway… Kiba: YOU! YOU’RE THE GUARDIAN OF THE CLOW CARSDS AREN’T YOU?! Kero: Umm…yeah…, Kiba: LOOKIT!! –hold up Kiba KardsKero: …holy shit on a sandwhich, so THAT’S where they’ve been going? You need to give those back to Sakura… Kiba: nevar! They’re mine now! They like me better and LOOK I’ve re-sealed them! I have the staff! I am the rightful owner! Kero: …eh, why not? If you can get all the cards, sure. You can keep ‘em. Kiba: YES!!! Shino: You gotta be kidding me. Kiba: -does anti-grav flipsTo Sakura: Have you ever lost control of your innerself and pummeled someone to a bloody pulp? If not please do so. To Hinata: HIME! -pulls out 6ft tall chocolate bar- For you Hinata-hime. And share with anyone who wants it. Except Kabuto since he's a lolicon dork. To Naruto: What would most likely happen if the world ran out of ramen? A. Would you unleash the Kyubi till you get it or B. Crave for human flesh... It could be possible. Tenten: How the hell do you hide all your weapons? BYE BYE WOOF!

Sakura: Well considering she’s out now… Zakura: S’right, bitch, -does an anti-grav flying kick at Kiba’s headKiba: WTF?! Zakura: You’re an idiot, therefore you deserve to be kicked. Kero: I like this chick. Hinata: Oh I could never eat all this…-breaks off a small piece- Ok, whoever wants the rest… Kurenai: -LUNGES-

Itachi: -uses flame jutsu to melt it before she can get there so the room is once against full of floating chocolateKurenai: -floats around happily consuming chocolate as she es itNaruto: I would probably die of depression… Yondaime: Over ramen? Naruto: Uh, YEAH. If you were GOOD father you would have been around to see just how much I love it! Yondaime: -shuts up and sulksNeji: …right…well, anyway, this is a Naruto ask fic, I don’t know who this TenTen person is but— Lee: SHE’S ON OUR TEAM!!!! Neji: Ok, smart-ass, you answer for her then cuz she’s sure not here. Lee: Fine, …I don’t know how she does it. Kiba: I really don’t want to think about that one… Hinata: Isn’t it…uh…a summoning jutsu? Sakura: Not all of them…-twitchesRyuk: -hovers over Lee’s shoulder- Hey kid, you know what that book in your pocket does? Lee: No…what? Ryuk: guess. Lee: That is cruel! But I shall use my youth to deduce this properly!! –starts examining bookRyuk: Hyugugugugu… Kyuubi: I still hate you… Ryuk: Chibi’s shouldn’t hate. Kyuubi: grrr…

...YONDAIME! -slaps- I agree with Naru-chan, you asshole! Sealing Kyuubi in your own child... you could have at least sealed it in some bitch so she would have got the awful childhood she deserved and she would have had some power. ah, so Kyuubi is the strongest and sexiest person, if that is the case... -unchibifies him and gives him a stick- yah... just a stick, feel free to shove it up someones ass. -makes Dei-chans hair grow backJune x

Yondaime: Hey now… Zakura: What’s with the sexist shit, bitch? Are you saying women deserve to be cursed and men don’t? That’s fucked up. Yondaime: Well, I had to seal it in my own flesh technically but demons are weird so if I had died he could have gotten out so I had to put it in my son since he would keep living. It’s verycomplicated Zakura: I’m still pretty pissed about this whole sexist thing. What a whore. Sakura: Zakura! Knock it off! Zakura: Right, cause you can totally boss me around, bitch. Sakura: -glowersKyuubi: YES! I’M SEXY AGAIN!! Ryuk: Nah, too normal-lookin. Kyuubi: Screw you. –smacks with stickRyuk: shit, forgot that demons could physically hurt me…-rubs face- oww… Kyuubi: Serves you right you two-faced freak. Ryuk: Two-faced? Naw, that’s Jimmy...he’s one of the weirder ones. Kyuubi: I hate death gods… Deidara: Yay! I have more hair. –air-walks over to Sasori- Isn’t it pretty, yeah? Sasori: Yeah…whatever. Deidara: -sadnessGlob of chocolate: -floats by-

Deidara: -consumes…feels bettercrepes anyone? Sorry but I only have chocolate/hazelnut or cherry filling. Itachi: If you had to undo one thing in your life, what would it be? Sasori: If you could make a living doll out of one person in the room without any consequences, who would it be?

Kurenai: -chasing a particularly large chocolate glob- CHOCO-HAZELNUT FOR ME!!! Zakura: Can you just send a huge box of each, k thanks. What do you suckers want? Sakura: what, that’s all yours?! Zakura: um, duh? Sakura: Send another assortment for the rest of us ok? Kiba: No! I want my own! Kero: Don’t be a greedy S.O.B. you stupid kid. Kiba: You were never this mean to Sakura! Kero: Cuz she was an over-sensitive little girl! Be a man! You can take it! Kiba: Yessir! Akamaru: -rolls eyesItachi: Umm…probably this one time I forgot to turn the oven off and it exploded and killed one of the old akatsuki …that kind of sucked. Yondaime: Because you wouldn’t want to undo the horrible wrongs you’ve done or anything. Itachi: Of course not. I wouldn’t want to be a goody-two-shoes like you. Yondaime: -sighsSasori: Yondaime, obviously. He’s the strongest one here by far. Well, except for Kyuubi, but I couldn’t link our chakra so it wouldn’t work. Kyuubi: Plus you could never. Sasori: I’m sure I could manage. Kyuubi: No.

Sasori: Yes. Kyuubi: NO. Sasori: You keep telling yourself that… Kyuubi: -seetheZakura: Which Yuri is hotter? Mortal Enemy yuri, Best Friend Yuri, or Incest Yuri? Zabuza: Okay, would you like a Lightsaber instead? (Gives Zabuza Lightsaber) And do you find it to be a turn-on whenever Haku curses? Haku: ...Well, you didn't have to curse. (Pouts) But still, I think that's the first time I've heard you curse before. As a reward, here. You can have a Lightsaber as well! (Gives Haku Lightsaber) Take good care of those swords! Did you know that you can bring someone back to life with them? Try using them to bring your mother back to life! Lucifel: I'm thinking about having Orochimaru get together with Kimimaro in my Ask fic? Does that make you happy? Yondaime (if you're still there): Okay, what is your REAL name? Arashi, or Minato? And did you know that some people write fics about your son and KYUUBI getting together? And great job kicking Itachi's ass! That's all for now! Zakura: D, all of the above. Sakura: sick. Kurenai: Speaking of which…anti-grav plus chocolate does not mix…-turns a sickly green and begins moaningZabuza: right on. –brandishes lightsaber- this is pretty cool .The weight is weird though…and no, Haku generally just always turns me on. Haku: Teehee, yay! Oh and…naw, I’m good. Tsunade: You don’t want to bring your mother back? Haku: Not especially. That was a time in life I’d rather not ever think about again. Besides, I don’t think these swords can really do that…-starts fighting Zabuza with lightsaberKankuro: That certainly didn’t happen in the video game when I played it… Gaara: You play video games? Kankuro: Hell yeah. No one would play with me, so I played by myself.

Lee: You never had friends Kankuro? Kankuro: I had a few at school, but mostly people thought I was weird. I was Gaara’s brother after all. Gaara: -poutsLee: -turns upside down and floats over to Gaara to kiss himGaara: You’re weird. Lee: Actually I am in love! Gaara: -blushes and kissesLucifel: I’m generally happier with Oro/Jira and Kimi/Kabu but yeah, that’s cute too. It’s kind of a given, but very cool. Orochimaru: -glomps KimiKimimaro: -blushesYondaime: Actually it’s…-mumblesNaruto: Huh, what? Yondaime: -muttersTsunade: Whaaaat? Yondaime: Gerald, ok!? My name is Gerald… Naruto: Wtf? Yondaime: Yeah, I don’t really get it either. Everyone: -uncontrollable laughterYondaime: -sighsYONDI! -glomps and gives a kiss...on the cheek- kissing him on the mouth would be improper. He has a kid! Sakura: It's okay! Not everyone hates you! I don't! Itachi: How did you deal with annoying little brothers/sisters(A.K.A. Sasuke) before you killed the clan? Shikamaru: YOUR DAD IS GAY?! -gasps dramaticlyNaruto: You have to forgive Yondi-chan! He thought he was doing a good thing! He thought that the villagers would treat you as a hero(which was really stupid, seeing that people are idiots) and that you'd get tons of ramen! YOU MUST FORGIVE HIM!

-throws a couch that gets bigger when there are more people in the room, and hair products to Yondi-Hugs everyone- Okay, bye bye!

Itachi: GASP! It can’t be! A fan…with morals?! Deidara: No way, yeah! Yondaime: …did I just get kissed? Sasori: you get used to the fangirls after awhile. Killing a few helps. Yondaime: -scoots awaySakura: HA! There, you see, Zakura?! I’m LOVED! Zakura: No, Itachi is loved, you’re liked. Get over it. And still, 80 percent of the people hate you. Sakura: -poutsItachi: By subduing and sexing them. Yondaime: -twitchSasori: You get used to that too. Shikamaru: my dad is apparently bi…-twitchNaruto: No I don’t! Why don’t you try having had your dad die on you and only leave a DEMON sealed inside of you to him by! Yondaime: I never meant to hurt you so much! The fangirl is right! I thought you would be loved and ired! I’m so sorry! Naruto: I hate you! Yondaime: …what if I buy you some Ramen? Naruto: will you buy me ramen for life? Yondaime: Absolutely! Naruto: …I love you daddy. Yondaime: -sighNaruto: -hugs-

Kiba: AUGH!! Floating couch! Dive! –floats out of the wayAkamaru: -jumps on couch and holds on as it floats around- arf, arfm bark yap! –ha! I rule the couch and you are all my minions!Kiba: -is talking excitedly with Kero about how many cards there areAkamaru: -sighs and lies down(Replaces chaos emerald with everlasting buffet table and nicks some of Kyuubi's blood) Kyuubi's blood is going to a good cause. Who here likes Duck Kidney? (throws in giant 3 headed golden dragon that will only obey Deidara and Sasori) Don't worry she can't die but can command all the elements. You have to name her. Kiba/Lee/Naru: BUFFET!!! –dash to floating buffetNaruto: Grab the food before it floats away!! Kiba: Duck kidney…? Lee: -drops the piece of meat he was examiningKyuubi: Yum. –devours- HEY! MY BLOOD! Yondaime: What can someone do with demon blood? It’s completely toxic… Tsunade: It makes a pretty damn good poison. Yondaime: Eick, that’s true…hmm… Naruto: Dammit! I don’t care! It’s food! –attacks buffet foodDeidara: Let’s name her fluffy! Sasori: Let’s fucking not. Dragon: Name me? I have name. You just can’t pronounce it. Also, I will obey you… when I feel like it so…see you. I’m not staying in this stuffy old roomAkamaru: -is thrown across the room by the force of the couch exploding from trying to compensate it’s size to fit a dragonNaruto: MAN! You’re dragon ruined the couch! Dragon: Well, excuse me, it wasn’t my idea. Later. –disappears in a poof of fire-

Deidara: Fluffy! Come back! Dragon’s voice: NO! Deidara: Aww…. Akamaru: -whineSakura: You don't get the respect you deserve. Sure, you're a lame character at first, but by Shippuden you've totally turned yourself around, and I commend you! (Commends by giving Sakura a Law Enforcement Kunai Shotgun) Tosses dry ice into the room. This combines with the anti-grav to create the illusion of being inside a giant cloud. Kankuro: being around Gaara all the time, do you have trouble getting sand out of your asscrack and other places? Sakura: Dude! I’m getting so much love! Thank you guys! Zakura: Don’t get your hopes up whore. Plenty of people still hate you. Sakura: -sticks out tongue- Well I have a gun now. Kiba: Can I play with it? Sakura: No! You’d shoot your eye out! Kabuto: God, you tight-ass bitch. Sakura: Shut up! Kabuto: Or what? Sakura: -hugsKabuto: -turns into a ferret again- I hate you… *Grins, before turning into a demon form. Two black wings burst from his back, and his eyes glow crimson. Also grows 10 tails. He looks himself over, dressed in evil samurai clothes*..Nice. This good, love? And almost chapter 50! And, as your birthday present! *Hands her a wrapped scythe* I stole this from Grim. He has extra's, of course, but that's his most powerful one. Kyuubi: *Snaps his fingers sending Kyuubi to Narnia* Naruto: You realize that technically, Yondaime gave you ultimate power, -and- if you hadn't had your type of life, you'd probuly have ended up like -Sasuke-. Is -that- what you wanted? You should be -gratefulfor Kyuubi. You heal instantly, have -limitless- chakra, -and- you're becoming bad ass. Advantages all around. *Drops Chuck Norris in.* P.S. *Tosses in some kid with curly brown hair, glasses, and fit muscles* Gaara, this is the guy I want you to kill. He's a weakling, besides martial arts training no where -near- Lee's level. Thank you for killing him for me.

Lucifel: Doncha wish your boyfriend was HOT like mine? Sakura: -face-palmsLucifel: -brandishes scythe- nice! I can officially kill anyone I want! Sakura: uh-oh. Lucifel: I’m a fan-girl, I generally don’t kill characters…yet… Sakura: -rolls eyes- anyway, moving on. Kyuubi: Back in a few… Naruto: I….uh…yeah…huh. Yondaime: you’re welcome? Naruto: I haven’t thanked you! Yondaime: That’s why there was question mark. Naruto: Oh…well, anyway, thanks. I’m glad you stopped me from being Sasuke. Yondaime: sure thing. Naruto: -hugsYondaime: -hugs backLucifel: I don’t write Chuck Norris into my fanfiction, chuck Norris writes ME into it. Chuck Norris: No I’m don’t. And for the record if you drop me in a lake the water does not get chuck, I get wet. Naruto: BLASPHEMY!! Chuck Norris: Everything else is true though. Naruto: YAY! Ladies: -swoonKyuubi: I’m back. Damn are you all still here?

Sakura: It’s only been a few minutes. Kyuubi: Oh right, time es differently. Itachi: You look happy. Kyuubi: I left Narnia a burning, stinking mess slowly crumbling into oblivion, I’m pretty ecstatic…so who’s this chump? Chuck Norris: Are you talkin’ about me? Tsunade: Don’t push it Kyuu… Kyuubi: Yeah. I am. Naruto: Kyuubi’s gonna get it! Chuck Norris: You have anything else you wanna say? Jiraiya: Fight! Fight! Kyuubi: Yeah. Your Cowboy Hat is gay. Everyone: -GASPKiba: Oh no he didn’t!!! Chuck Norris: That’s it. I don’t know who you are, or what you were trying to prove, but no one insults the hat. Kyuubi: I wasn’t. I just said it was gay…which is the truth. Chuck Norris: -dropkicks Kyuubi so hard his daddy felt itKyuubi’s Dad: Godammit, he insulted chuck Norris again… -A few minutes laterChuck Norris: Well, folks, I don’t think that guy’ll be causing any trouble anymore. Ladies: -swoonKabuto: -turns back into a human- Shit! I need clothes! –chases his clothes which are floating near the ceilingChuck Norris: So…was his growth stunted or something?

Kimimaro: No…no that’s pretty average… Chuck Norris: Really? That’s sad. Tsunade: -droolsOrochimaru: Chuck…can I call you chuck?…have you ever considered sleeping with a man?! -record scratching to a haltChuck Norris: No. Orochimaru: Oh…-crushedChuck Norris: At any rate, I think my work here is done. Adios. –tips hat to the ladies, shakes hands with the men (besides Oro) and then walks off into the sunsetHinata: ano…isn’t it the afternoon? Kiba: yeah. And THAT’S Chuck Norris…. Kyuubi: -gets up- fuck that hurt… Naruto: WAIT A MINUTE!! If he could beat Kyuubi that means he was powerful enough to get us out!! Dammit!! Gaara: Yeah, hang on one sec. Hey kid. Kid: y-yeah? Gaara: I'm about to kill you, any last wishes? Kid: to live? Gaara: Umm...no. Lee: Gaara! unecessary killing is wrong! Gaara: Ok...hey Kyuubi! This kid said you were weak. Kyuubi: -tears kid apartGaara: There see? I didn't DIRECTLY kill him, I just helped his death along. Lee: You're lucky I love you so much. Gaara: Oh, I know it. HT: YONDAIME! YONDAIME!I LUVLUVLUVZ YOUZ! but i just thought of something! lucifel, youre another version of lucifer (AKA devil) right? because that would meanamber: oh hell no.

HT: yeah! that would meanamber: -takes her scythe out and zaps HT with lightning causing her to go into a comamilan: hm. anyway, i have questions! any of you like naked pics of hatori? and are you annoyed that this entire review-thing is so long lucifel-san? and another, WHO WANTS ITANARU FANFICTION LINKS!? :D

Lucifel: Hu? Would mean what? Cuz yeah, I’m the before-he-fell version of Lucifer, except I’m still all pervy. Anyway, my scythe is cooler. –twirlsOrochimaru: YAH! Right here! Yondaime: er…thank you? Ryuk: So…kid. Lee Er, yes? Ryuk: Are you gonna try writing in that book? Lee: I did. I wrote a whole sentence and nothing happened. Ryuk: Well…did you write ABOUT anyone? Lee: Gaara! Ryuk: Let me see it…oh, you only used his first name… Lee: Well, of course. Ryuk: I’m leaving…-takes death note and goes homeLee: Hey! My diary! Gaara: You were keeping a diary? Lee: yosh! In order to record all my youthful thoughts! Gaara: …right. Lucifel: And nah, you don’t annoy me. I can always just edit. Itachi: NO! Naruto: NO!! Orochimaru: yeah, I’ll take some of those too, teeheehee… Naruto: NONONONONO!!! LLALALAALALA, I can’t hear you! No such thing as ItaNaru fics!!

Itachi: -twitches a whole lotSakura/Lee/Naruto: Since everyone else said they Didn't like Sakura (and Sakura's my FAV character) My gift to you are... weird green glowing necklaces that will only work for you! You can use it to wish absolutely anything, however like those sucky glowsticks at Walmart, you only have a day to use them! Yondaime: I dare you to make-out with a random character. And by random character I mean someone you have not met in your other life and in the Naruto series. Gaara: YOU GET UNLIMITED FRAP-MACHINE! (for being Another one of my fav characters!)

Haku: What? I like Sakura! Hinata: M-me too… Zabuza: You better give one to haku, bitch. Haku: Oh, it’s ok. I have everything I want anyway. Lee: I wish for Gaara to have eyebrows! Gaara: …what? Lee: Well, I figured you’d probably like some… Gaara: …thanks. That’s sweet of you. –now has slender red eyebrowsNaruto: You look WEIRD> Gaara: Like you can talk, whisker-face. Naruto: I don’t have whiskers! Yondaime: Actually I meant to ask you about that… Naruto: I DON’T HAVE WHISKERS DAMMIT!! Yondaime: Fine, fine, you don’t have whiskers. Naruto: Anyway, I wish for a huge bowl of ramen!! -A bowl of ramen falls into the room and begins floating aimlesslyNaruto: YAY!! Yondaime: Er…what? Sakura: Trust me, just do it and get it over with.

Yondaime: Fine…Kurenai? Kurenai: -becomes instantly healthy- Yes sir! -they make outItachi: Dammit, he’s straight. Yondaime: Um…yeah. Itachi: Well, with a name like Gerald— Yondaime: SHUT UP!! Gaara: YES!! I LOVE YOU!! Lee: -sadGaara: I love you more of course, Lee: Lee: -happyBoost: -is in a corner, with parking boots on all four tires...and is poutingIt's so good to be behind my own keyboard again! 1. um...Kiba...due to -ahem- confusion...I think that sandwich might have had some poisonous mushrooms...just make sure you take this...-hands over medicine in glass bottle- the dose is one spoonful every six hours. Hey! 2. are there any real reasons for disliking Sakura? I think she's kinda cool. -The Muffinator 3

Kiba: Erk? What?! –downs whole bottleShino: Kiba! That isn’t healthy! Kiba: sure it is---falls over, out cold, and purpleKero: Well he shows a lot of promise…-rolls eyesItachi: Of course there are! She has pink hair! Sakura: that’s stupid! Itachi: you’re stupid! Deidara: And she killed my love!! Sasori: She killed me. Kankuro: She’s a know-it-all.

Neji: She’s more of a main character than me. Orochimaru: She stalks my Sasuke. Itachi: MY Sasuke. Kisame: MY Itachi: -glompsItachi: -sighsSakura: OK! Ok already! I get it! Geez!! –sits sulkingItachi: OMG your hair is being threatned! (spazes out for five minutes) here (hands frap) if you drink it your hair will be indestructable!(sp?) Kabuto: for some strange reason i have the sudden urge to hit you...hard. (punches in the gut) ah, much better. MiniDeath (P.S. throws in L)

Itachi: YAY!! Kisame: YAY! Now we can have more, crazy, hair-pulling, sex!! Itachi: ehehe…-shies awayKabuto: WTF?! It’s like I’m as hated as Sakura! Zakura: Nah, Sakura-fans are just bitches… Kabuto: Ugh…-rubs stomachSakura: -glaresKabuto: -glaresL: Hello…why are all of you trapped in a question-answering fanfic? Sakura: At least we don’t have to explain it to him…basically? Fangirls. L: -nods understandingly- …-eats floating chocolateNeji: So…who are you? L: I’m L. –looks around for cakeKyuubi, the secret to defeating Aslan is very simple (and much easier than actually going to Narnia) You just have to burn all of the Narnia books.

I wish Asuma was there more. I throw him in. I give Kiba a lighter. Kyuubi: Oh…too late. I had more fun this way anyway. Asuma: wtf? I didn’t want to come back… Kurenai: -goes frigid and hides behind TsunadeKiba: Huh? Asuma: Oh hey, light this for me before I go. –hands Kiba his cigKiba: -lights itAsuma: thanks. –leavesL: You guys don’t have any cake…I’m going back to being dead. We had cake there. – leaves-Gravity comes back onEveryone: Uh-oh. -everything falls in a huge mess to the floor, including people, Gaara cushions the fall of his frap machine with Kankuro and Yondaime catches NarutoSakura: Well this is a brilliant mess…just perfect… Kiba: We may as well have a food fight! –throws food at NarutoNaruto: -throws backSoon Kiba, Naruto and Lee are having an all-out food war…while everyone starts cleaning. Ask Sakura 48 10 Lucifel: Hey everyone! Just wanted to say, I’ve talked to a few of you on AIM, and you all rock. ‘specially this SnowGaara kid who went and tricked me about his gender so I was talking to him like he was a girl for who-knows-how-long…anyway, yeah, just a reminder that I love ya’ll! NOW!! HALLOWEEN SPECIAL!!!

Ok, so here’s the deal. The room has been changed into a massive ballroom, the light is dim and the music is soft…and the music is also being played by a group of skeletons, what you gonna do? At the far end of the ballroom is a huge staircase standing at the top of which are two figures; one in a dominatrix costume and the other dressed like a spring fairy. The both wear masks suiting their costumes. Dominatrix: Welcome to the party bitches!! The theme is masquerade, of course, so you’re not going to know who’s who. Just by the costumes each person is wearing. Spring Fairy: People will be randomly assigned to answer the questions you ask, and hopefully even they don’t know they’ll answer truthfully. Dominatrix: At the end everyone will line up and be unmasked. Before that though, everyone says who they think they are, and whoever no one can guess the identity of wins a fan-fucking-tastic prize. Also whoever guesses the most correctly gets a prize!! Spring Fairy: So , just because someone answers a question knowledgably or dresses a certain way means nothing, they may just be tricking you! , there’s wigs and stuffing!! Also, voices are altered so no one can use that. Dominatrix: The revealing will be at the end, so you fans don’t get any prizes. Too damn bad for you. Spring Fairy: But go ahead and guess as you read anyway! It’ll be fun! Dominatrix: Let the guests in, and let’s start this party!!!! Kisame: you like itachi right, then how far would you go to be with him? would you go as far as to marry him? Gaara/Lee: you to are so cute together! *squeels in joy* I wish you the best (gives a big black book) don't lose that, it'll be great for those...certain nights if you know what i mean (wink wink) All evil people: I have decided to take over the world but i have no idea where to start you have any suggestions? Yondaime: Gerald?...dude that's like a totaly sexy name. here (gives a slip of paper and a cellpone) call me if you ever want to have some fun...Gerald. (wink wink) Dominatrix: Our first question goes to—the person dressed as a High-School Girl!! Answer in the first person as if you WERE Kisame, bitch! High School Girl: I’d gladly be Kisame’s bitch…heh, anyway, ‘I’m’ not really the marrying type, but I am content to cling to him forever. Ash Ketchum: Who wants to bet that whore is Neji?

Spring Fairy: It could always be acting. Ash: No one is that slutty through acting alone… High School Girl: -gives fingerDominatrix: Cat-girl, you respond to the next comment. Cat-Girl: Yes, well, there are some doubts in this relationship… Green Power Ranger: THERE IS NO DOUBT!! OUR RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT!! YOSH!!!! Everyone: -.Cat-Girl: So, do I get still get the black book? Dominatrix: Oh hell yeah. Gifts go too. Cat-Girl: Yay. Spring Fairy: Let’s have…the stereo-typic-and-extremely-ripped-superhero answer the third comment! Superhero: What kind of match up is that? Dominatrix: Just answer the question bitch! Superhero: Fine, always start at home. Witch: -nods in agreementSpring Fairy: Ok! And the question for Yondaime goes to—the person dressed as Sarutobi-sensei!! Sarutobi: …-smirk- well, thank you very much… Superhero: That’s NOT what yondaime is like! Sarutobi: Who are you to say? –sticks out tongueSuperhero: -gives fingerSarutobi: I know where YOU put those fingers…

Superhero: -stomps away to the buffet tableYes, Sakura fans tend to be Beautifull Intelligent Tanatlizing Charming and Horny (and well taken care of soon after). Sorry it was too easy a target -- as was what I just said. Sigh. Sakura - Why didn't you use your necklace? or did you? Gerald/Fourth Hokage - Did you have to spend any time in a death gods stomache? Spring Fairy: haha! Nice! Eat that! Dominatrix: Oh, gag me. That’s bullshit. And you were supposed to let someone else answer. Ash: Oh come on, we already know it’s you two. Dominatrix: Suck my un-trimmed— Fairy: AGCK!!! Dominatrix: --Toes you little freak! Fairy: …you bitch. Ash: -gags a littleDominatrix: ANYway, werewolf, answer the necklace question! Werewolf: Huh? So…like I’m Sakura? Dominatrix: ayup. Werewolf: -puts on highest voice he can- I’m Sakura and I can’t believe I forgot to use that especially since I’m the brainy girl—Sakura!! Dominatrix: riiight…so any— Serial Killer: FUCK IT!! Everyone: eh? Serial Killer: -rips off mask to reveal Zabuza underneath- I don’t fucking CARE about your fucking party! I want Haku, NOW!! WHERE is he?! Princess: -takes off mask- Here I am! –jumps into Zabuza’s arms and they go cuddle on the stairs-

Dominatrix: …anyway…Cook? Cook: ah yes, well…unfortunately yes, but I was saved and brought on to a better place. Werewolf: How? Cook: I’m…not sure really… Werewolf: Huh…well, that’s cool…-goes and eats some moreKabuto, I'm not a huge fan of Sakura till shippuden... but even I hate you. -chucks in some squirrels which pelt Kabuto with acorns-gives dei-chan a staff and lots of ribbons- The staff is like cupids arrow, you can blast people with it and they fall in love with the next person you blast, and the ribbons are for your hair! Also, Deidara, is it possible you’re a girl? I mean the only proof we have is that you have no breasts, but you have a mouth on your chest, so its not like you could grow any breasts anyways, could you just clarify your gender for me? June x Squirrels: -Come pouring in and look really confusedDominatrix: Ehm…just go after the doctor. Doctor: WTF?! Squirrels: SQUEAAAAK!!!! –charge and attacks the doctorDoctor: THIS ISN’T FUCKING FAIR!!! Fairy: -while squirrels chase the doctor in the background- So, Pirate, you can have the staff. Pirate: Er…um…ok…-puts it away- I don’t really need it. Do you want the ribbons? Puppet: I’ll take them!! Pirate: Ok. Whatever. Puppet: yay! –Snuggles ribbonsFairy: God, why don’t you go ahead and answer for the last one? God: Glad—

Werewolf: HEY! How does someone dress like GOD?! God: How I did. Werewolf: But your costume kind of vague…I can’t quite make out how you look or what you— God: Exactly. Werewolf: …oh…well damn. God: Anyway, I, if I am Deidara, -twitch- am definitely a man. Puppet: But terrifyingly feminine. God: And proud of it. Puppet: He is, I’m sure. –SmileYondaime: How do you plead to allegations that you're leading the Akatsuki, possibly from beyond the grave? Naruto: Actually, if you had been imbued with the Kyuubi, but Yondaime hadn't died, you wouldn't have been like Sasuke. Learning to harness that much power at such a tender age, with a demon whispering in your ear, (and without the tragic past that is obviously necessary for characters in the show to have if they want to be powerful) you'd probably have wound up like Itachi, which is simultaneously better and worse than winding up as Sasuke! How does THAT make you feel? Everybody: What's your favorite weapon? Ask and ye shall recieve! But as a control: no nukes, sheep, nail clippers, penguins, melon ballers, and ESPECIALLY no pandas! CIAO! Fairy: Geisha? Geisha: Oh…uhm… Fairy: as if you WERE Yondaime! Geisha: Not guilty because I…uh…I love konoha too much to ever…do that… Superhero: That’s better. I mean for fuck’s sake. Pirate: No shit. Doctor: HOW LONG UNTIL THESE FUCKING SQUIRRELS ARE GONNA LEAVE!?!

Dominatrix: Oh, deal with it! Doctor: But that’s not fair!! Phantom of the Opera: -whistles gently and holds up a huge bowl of nuts- Hey squirrleys, come get em!! –throws out windowSquirrels: SQUEKITY SQUEAKER!!! –they all stampede out the windowPhantom: -pats hands cleanDoctor: thanks…-pant- I owe you. Phantom: Always happy to. –blushDoctor: I need a drink. You need one? Phantom: -blushes harder- Thanks, Doctor: No problem. –goes to get themDominatrix: ok, Vampire, answer for Naruto. Vampire: …I love Yondaime…er, my dad. Priest: So, cook, I’m looking to get something slathered up and— Cook: no. Priest: What? I can’t get a sauté? Cook: No. If you don’t back up you’ll get something charred though. Priest: hehe…-shuffles awayDominatrix: Knight, you answer the next one. Knight: you cut out all the good weapons! Wtf?! Puppet: No shit! That’s not fair! Knight: Well fine…just send tweezers, Sarutobi/God/Puppet/Witch: FUCK YEAH!!

what are those cards? can I make one? throws in rabbit card. oh and I throw in momiji from fruits basket. what did l mean going back to being dead? he's one of my favorite charecters! Fairy: Witch? Witch: Unfortunately, no. Those cards are all pre-made. They’re the clow cards! But my magic’s better! Kero: The hell it is! Witch: why aren’t YOU in costume! Kero: …because. I’ve been traumatized by enough costumes. Ash: Fair enough! Have you SEEN this food spread?! Kero: FUCK YEAH!! –dives into cakesMomiji: Oh…hi…what’s going on? Sarutobi: KYAA!! KAWAII!! Momiji: W-what? Sarutobi: -huggles- Oh! You’re so adorable! I can’t STAND it!! Cook: come here, child…I’ll help you out. Momiji: thanks. –tries to pull awaySarutobi: NO! It’s MINE!! Momiji: Ahh! Let me go! Cook: -pulls harder and Momiji pops out and lands in her arms and turns into a rabbitMomiji: Oh dear… Cook: Shit. Well…you wanna go? Momiji: Please? Cook: -lets him outsideDominatrix: Oh…shit…

Fairy: Er, never mind that! Haha! L’s fine! Totally alive! You just read those manga like we said nothing! –twitchDominatrix: Ok, we fucked that up. Fairy: Hey, you’re the one in charge. Dominatrix: Fuck no I’m not! Fairy: Whatever… *He grins, and pounces Lucifiel...doing naughty things with her* Gaara: Thanks! *He snaps his fingers, and you a T.V. pops up...you watch as a giant mountain of Frap, with a frap waterfall pouring down all sides rises from the ground, as a mini-version rises in a corner* Have fun. Kabuto: *Sets him on fire, that no one else can see, and doesn't really burn him, but -feels- like it's burning him* Everyone: Anyone notice that Edward's gone...? P.S. *Tosses in a human form of Godzilla* Dominatrix: Like we need to know that Lucifel is getting sexied up! Eugh! Fairy: Ok. You’ve all seen? The Tv has to go now… Death/Witch: -reach out longingly for the tv…but it is goneFairy: anyway…the fire goes to…Death. Death: WTF? OWOWOWOWOWOW!!! Green Power Ranger: NO! that is not youthful! I will help you by beating the flames out with a curtain! -starts doing soDeath: No! Ouch! That’s not-FUCK-helping!! Witch: Aww…Ed IS gone isn’t he? That’s sad… High School Girl: He was too short… Ash: Like you have standards. High school Girl: Fuck you. Ash: I’m sure you would!!

Godzilla: …wtf? God: what’s up? Superhero: do I have I have to fight that then? Godzilla: Nah. I’ll just smash the table and go. Superhero: Cool. Godzilla: -Destoys table and much of the stairs (Haku and Zabuza continue blissfully cuddling, unaware) and then leavesDominatrix: …right…anyway… milan: merry 50th chapter lucifel-san. and i also have ita/saku links, naru/femalekyuubi links, oro/yondaime, sasu/kabu, and gaara/panda links! amber: she likes wierd pairings. milan: um... sorry orochimaru, kata took my pics... anyone want naked yondaime pics then? dont ask where i got them... amber: ... -throws in a stretchy fabric bracelet with palm trees on it- please kill it. Fairy: Ninja, any response to the Yondaime pics? Ninja: Uh. No. Werewolf: Oh come ON! We’re ALL ninja! That’s gay! Ninja: but im in black. Like a PROPER ninja. Werewolf: So you’re playing the stereo-type! Ninja: I thought that was the point of Halloween? Werewolf: nu-uh! Ninja: Screw you kid. Fairy: and ghost, the bracelets yours. Ghost: whatever…-throws in the fireplace on one wall.Ash: that costume’s gay too! Werewolf: Just a sheet?! How boring!

Ghost: …like I care. Werewolf: you should! Halloween deserves more respect! It’s day of CANDY!! Ghost: I’m leaving now… Ash: Yeah, that’s right! You back out cuz you know we’re RIGHT! Ghost: Yep…that’s what it is… Neji: I don't know why I want to do this but... make out Sakura! (And then rate it!) I commandeth thou! Hina/Haku: Technically this is what happened: "Am I the only person who actually likes Sakura? Everyone (besides Sakura, Lee and Naruto): YES!!" So you didn't say anything... but then again neither did Shikamaru and I don't think he actually hates her so... Shikamaru: Since you’re so "smartical" and stuff, what's 2+2? If you get the answer right you'll... get free imperceptible Ino-proff earplugs. (You know you want them!) Fairy: I put the dare on the Vampire and it’s with whoever he thinks is Sakura. Vampire: -walks up to Ash, and makes out with himFairy: You don’t really think that’s Sakura you jerk! Vampire: Sure I do. Fairy: Liar. Vampire: -shrugs and continues the make-outs- Oh, and it’s a ten. Ash: FUKYEAH!! High School Girl: Shikamaru does hate Sakura. Fairy: he does not. High School Girl: Sure he does. Fairy: Screw you. You don’t know. High School Girl: Yes I do. Fairy: ...-twitch-

Dominatrix: Any comments from the witch and the Priest for Hinata and Haku? Haku: Sorry Sakura! Dominatrix: no! You forfeit your role for this chapter! Go glue your face to Zabuza. Haku: …ok! Witch: Well, speaking for Hinata I secretly have deep-seated hatred of her because I want smaller boobs. Priest: Eh, Haku’s right. He likes her. Witch: Well, Hinata doesn’t. Geisha: I think Hinata…uh…likes Sakura a lot… Witch: Shut up you. Geisha: -whimperCook: -comfortsDominatrix: Pirate? Pirate: Er…four…wtf? Dominatrix: K. have the earplugs. Doctor: If those are Ino-proof nothing must get through…I could use those… Phantom: But what about hearing the nicer things? Doctor: It’s worth it. Phantom: Teehee. Doctor: -Smile.Death: Thank god…the pain is gone… Green Power Ranger: Are you all right? Death: if weren’t for the rug-beating I’d be a lot—

Green Power Ranger: Say no more! I know you are greatful for my youthful reflexes! I must try and find my love Gaara now! Death: …I would say a lot less bruised but whatever…-poutsDominatrix: OK! This is masquerade ball, so, kick up the music and lets get dancing!!! Skeletons: -begins playing some bad-ass lively tunesFairy: Get a partner and dance already! Tell me, what the FUCK is wrong with pink hair?!?! I think it is totally awsome. Also, why do you act like you do before Shippuden? You get totally awsome. Neji, here are all the episodes with Tenten so you will her. Also, to everyone, here are a set of paintball guns, just for fun. Fairy: Nothing! Fuck yeah! Dominatrix: -rolls eyesFairy: Catgirl, answer for Sakura. Gat-Girl: Because I was stupid little girl who thought I had to make up for being so ugly with my smarts…then I realized I didn’t have those either and had to force all my friendships. Fairy: …you don’t get to answer any more questions you stupid cat. And anyway YOU didn’t get a dance partner so nyeh. –sticks out tongueCat-girl: Niether did you. Fairy: I’m a supervisor. Screw you. Ninja: -while dancing with Pirate- So…who do you think I am? Pirate: I don’t know…but I don’t trust you. Ninja: Aww, why not? Pirate: I saw you eyeing me. Ninja: Can you blame me? Pirate: I…well I… Ninja: Oh, shit, the songs over…bye. –walks off to ask Death for the next dance-

Pirate: …-twitch-…what? Sarutobi: I said wanna dance! Pirate: Oh…oh yeah sure… Dominatrix: Witch! You get the tapes! Witch: Why do I need these? Tenten’s not in any really cool episodes. –throws in fireplacesHigh School Girl: No one likes her anyway. Ash: She actually has a terrifyingly large fanbase considering… High School girl: Considering no one likes or re her? Ash: Hey wait! If you’re Neji how do you--? High School Girl: I guess you were wrong. –walks off to dance with the SuperheroWerewolf/Ash/Cat-Girl/PowerRanger/Priest/Knight: PAINTBAL!! Ash: Screw dancing! It’s paint-ball wartime!! -All out paint-ball war takes over one half of the roomI used Kyuubi's blood to make a metal copy of him that is just as powerful as Kyuubi. If he destroys it he'll die as well. (throws Metal Kyuubi in and expands the room so the dragon fits comfortably) Ninja: -raises eyebrows- oh really? Pirate: Two Kyuubis?! Werewolf: FUCK NO!! Metal Kyuubi: Bow to me, bitches!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!-paint ball goes traight into a t in his spine- …mal…func..tion…circuits…crossed… Green Power Ranger: My bad! I was aiming for Ash!! Ash: BITCH! –shoots power RangerGreen Power Ranger: Yosh! This how we youthful people must fight!

Superhero: -walks up to malfunctioning Kyuubi and tears him into piecesNinja: Why’d you do that? Superhero: It would have been too annoying to have two Kyuubi’s around. Ninja: Fair enough. Dominatrix: So the room’s bigger…the dragon’s still gone. Puppet: That’s too bad…she was cool. Phantom: -to doctor- So, this is a pretty nice song, yeah? Doctor: yeah…I’m not much of a dancer though. Phantom: That’s ok. I’ll make up for both of us. Doctor: Fair enough. AND NEXT WEEK THE FALL BREAK WILL START!! WOO! For that, I'll give you all whatever you want! ANYTHING! Zakura: Not everyone exactly loves you either -glares- But I still like you! You're not afraid to say your opinion! or yell it in peoples faces... Naruto: ...Ramen... No matter how ridiculous I think that is, I'm so happyy!! I'll give you ramen too! -hugs him tightlyKurenai: Why did you hide when Asuma came in to the room? there's no reason to be afraid of him... Tsunade/Orochimaru/Jiraya: Do you guys want a poker set? -throws in a poker setGood night! -falls down asleepSarutobi: Sake!! Priest: SAKE!!! Superhero: SAKE!!!!!! Geisha: Do you have any cranberry juice? Cook: before Godzilla came and smashed everything we did… Geisha: Oh, that’s a shame. –sadCook: I’ll try to find you some…

Phantom: So…what’s through the doors over there? Doctor: Probably a balcony of something. Most ballrooms have them. You want to go talk? Phantom: Sure… -they walk offFairy: -thinks- what the hell are they doing? Oh well…-says- See, not many people like you anyway! Dominatrix: Whatever bitch. Ramen goes to…the Vampire. Vampire: Umm…ok…who wants it? Ash/Werewolf: ME!!! Vampire: -throws to them and they have a paint-ball shoot-out for itDominatrix: Witch, care to answer the next question? Witch: Ah yes, I hid from Asuma because I stole his wallet last time we shagged cause he wasn’t paying me enou— -skillet smacks him out of nowhereWitch: OWW! I thought that was for Jiraiya! Superhero: A woman’s skillet is for whoever she pleases. Witch: What the fuck ever… Fairy: We give the poker set to the Power Ranger. Green Power Ranger: What can I do with this?! Cards are not youthful!! –Shoots Ash with paintball when he turns back around and throws cards awayPriest: -snatches them up-PIERCING SCREAMDominatrix: What the fucking shit? Puppet: It’s Sarutobi! He’s been killed! Stabbed in the heart!

-Sarutobi is indeed lying on the floor with a knife sticking out of his bloody chestPriest: Shit! Well…I’ll take care of him…you all figure out who his murderer was! Fairy: this isn’t supposed to be a murder mystery!! Ash: EVERYONE DOWN!! We with the weapons— Green Power Range: AND THE YOUTH!! Ash: Will take care of this! Werewolf: Yeah! Now, unmask him and see if it’s someone we care about dying… Dominatrix: Nope. We still have to wait till the end. Solve it on your own. Werewolf: Fine! We will!! Dominatrix: Good Luck with that. Question for Lucifer: Have you ever read/watched Ouran High School Host Club? If not, I recommend it D:! And question for Itachi: what are your views on twin-cest? xD'' Just out of curiosity. -drops candy bars and a dinosaur into the room- ..oops. Lucifel: first, as a basic note, It’s LucifeL. Not lucifeR. I’m awesome like that. Also, no, I haven’t. I may check it out. Probably not. Fairy: be nice. Lucifel: I am…sort of… Fairy: Cook, what are Itachi’s views on twincest? Cook: It’s BETTER than incest…now excuse while I throw up for saying that… Puppet/Witch/Knight: WOOT! HELL YEAH! Werewolf: YOU! Superhero! Did YOU have something against Sarutobi?! Superhero: Well, whoever it was was impersonating someone I had a great deal of respect for… Werewolf: Uh-huh…thank you…watch your step… Superhero: -rolls eyes-

Werewolf: And no—HOLY SHIT RAINING CANDY!! –lunges for candyThis is my first Itachi: i inject you with a potion that makes you bald and hair can never grow back! Bwuhahaha Kiba: give Sakura her cards back or you shall feel my wrath Zakura: a special present! the strongest booze you can think of and an album of Kurenai, Anko, and Ino nude ^.- UndineDemon Puppet: VIRGIN ALERT!! Lol. Witch: Nice. …who’s getting injected with that? Dominatrix: Mmm…the Knight. Knight: Shit! Oh well…I guess it’s all right…I look ok bald… Witch: …you better not be one of the people I sleep with. Knight: -whimperKero: Hey, I say it’s ok, so it’s ok. Werewolf: Kiba’s better than some stupid girl anyway… Ash: Yeah! Anyway, Mr. or Ms. Cook. Did you have anything against Sarutobi? Cook: Not really. I think he was one of the gay ones that DOESN’T stare at my ass all the time. Ash: Fair enough. –moves onFairy: And the album and booze go to—the Pirate! Pirate: I don’t—I don’t even WANT these! Dominatrix: So give ‘em here!! –snatchesFairy: Hey, I gave ‘em to the pirate! Dominatrix: And I took them! So what?! Fairy: ugh, fine whatever…

-meawhileDoctor: So, how are you enjoying the party? Phantom: …It’s…a nice break. Doctor: Yeah, I feel the same way. Even if Sakura is being really annoying… Phantom: How is she annoying you? Doctor: It’s that COSTUME. I mean…the skirt is TINY. Phantom: So? Doctor: Listen, just cause I don’t like her doesn’t mean the girl doesn’t have nice legs… Phantom: Ohhohoho, I see. Doctor: Shut up. Phantom: What about…Orochimaru? Doctor: Yeah, he has nice legs too. Phantom: Heh…yeah…-moves a little closerDoctor: Yes? Can I help you? Phantom: Maybe a little. –smooches quickly and then runs back insideDoctor: -shakes head and follows1. other than Deidara and Sasori's reasons, those are some seriously stupid arguements for disliking Sakura so much!! pink hair? being a know-it-all? Here Sakura, have a special "You're Actually Appreciated" muffin. 2. -sighs- Kiba...hopefully you've regained consciousness by the time this review is read. there's good news and bad news. the good news: the poision won't kill you. the bad news: I hope you like purple, because that tint won't come off your skin for at least antoher chapter or so. -The Muffinator 3 Dominatrix: Muffin goes to Death. Death: Oh um…thank you? Cat-Girl: -twitch, twitch-

Fairy: See, I’m appreciated. Dominatrix: By a couple dumb-ass fans. Good for you. Fairy: -poutsAsh: Kiba’s PURPLE now?! Vampire: He was when he woke up, but he got into costume too fast. Werewolf: LOL!! Ash: That sucks… Green Power Ranger: This investigation is not very youthful… Werewolf: Yeah, you wanna quit? PowerRanger/Ash: -nodnodWerewolf: Cool. Dominatrix: Right… Lucifel: I've finally fixed up Metal Sasuke. May I introduce to you, OMEGA SASUKE! Zakura: Is there any Yuri that you DON'T like? Everyone else: WHO WANTS CAPES? Catch you next continue! Dominatrix: Yes, yes, good to be introduced, nice to meet ya, out the door. Omega Sasuke: I…but…I…-is shoved outsideFairy: wth? Dominatrix: I was Not gonna deal with that again. Anyway, High School Girl answer for Zakura. High School Girl: uhm, hell NO! Yuri freaking rocks! Superhero/Pirate: -face-palmEveryone: WOOOO!! CAPES!!! -everyone is now donning the proper sort of cape, it’s very snazzy-

Haku: Teeheehee. –spins- it swirls!! Zabuza: -swirls his cape around Haku to hold him close- yes it does… -kissesHaku: Yee!! Sakura, Sasugay is gay. You deserve better so stop chasing him ok? -_- and btw oro are you gay? 0_o Raina: NU ITS NOT TRUE T_T Me: raina you know it is, sry shes one of the possibly very few oro fans, she named her boa constricter after him for god sakes.. Raina: AND i taught it to attack ^^ Me: fascinating (rolls eyes) anywhizzle, not a question but ITACHI YOUR FUCKIN HOT! Dominatrix: Phantom, answer for Sakura. Phantom: He’s NOT gay. And how can she—I—deserve better when he’s the best there is! Doctor: -gives a skeptical lookDominatrix: Frighteningly convincing there. Geisha, answer for Oro. Geisha: I-uh…well…he is very gay. I think he really enjoys young boys too much to be anything less than bi so… Cook: He did have Anko after all. Superhero: Anko is practically a man anyway. Cook: …no…no she’s not. Vampire: you named your snake after Orochimaru? …someone needs a life. Fairy: Cat-Girl, answer for Itachi. Cat-Girl: Thank you. I am. Dominatrix: ALL RIGHT BITCHES!! LINE UP FOR THE REVEALING!!! Fairy: Ok, so we have; a witch, a Doctor, Ash Ketchum, a Vampire, Death, a Priest, a Cook, A Green Power Ranger— Green Power Ranger: YOSH!!!!

Fairy: A Ghost, a werewolf, a high school girl, a Cat-girl, a geisha, a ninja, a Puppet, God, a Knight, a Superhero, a Pirate, and a Phantom. Dominatrix: Where are the priest and Sarutobi? Fairy: I dunno…Ash will you go find them? Ash; sure….-walks over the balcony- Hello? We’re doing the—HOLY MONKEY CRAP WHAT THE FUCK!?!?! Dominatrix: Figures…you two stop doing that and get in here. -The two of them walk in blushing and giggling and stand in the lineFairy: Ok, anyone got a call on who the geisha is? Werewolf: Sakura?! Death: …are you serious? Werewolf: I’m wrong aren’t I? Death; Yeah, a little. Cook: It’s Hinata! Hinata: Yes! It’s me. –blush- Oh well… Dominatrix: On the High School Girl? Ash: NEJI!!! High School Girl: Fuck you, KIBA!! Kiba: You suck! How’d you know?! Neji: Maybe cuz you’re the pokemon freak?! Kiba: Well FINE, Shino’s the Vampire!! Shino: Why are you ratting ME out?! Cook: We all knew anyway. Sit down you guys. -they all sit grumbling-

Fairy: Calls on the Cook? Werewolf: TSUNADE!! Cook: no. Kiba: Just stop trying, Naruto…FUCK I AM PURPLE!!!! Shino: That’s what you get. Ghost: Oh for fuck’s sake, this is ridiculous. Everyone: -looks- eh? Ghost: the Cook has been displaying motherly tendencies all night, it’s Kurenai. Kurenai: Well damn. –sitsGhost: Death has been mostly quiet but sticking to the Green Power Ranger— Kiba: Who is LEE!! Werewolf: What if he’s just trying to trick you! Ghost: No, Lee’s not that cunning. Anyway, Death is Gaara. Gaara: -goes and pulls Lee into a cornerGhost: The dumber-than-pavement Werewolf is obviously Naruto. Naruto: HEY! Ghost: Itachi, Deidara, Sasori, Orochimaru and Kisame all like and say a lot of the same things. But, Deidara wants to be Sasori’s bitch, therefore he’s the puppet. Kiba: BUT HE NEVER SAID ‘YEAH’!! Deidara: You have no IDEA how hard it was too, yeah…yeah…yeah…-sigh- it feels good yeah. Kiba: -poutsGhost: Sasori likes to think he’s the master of puppetry, and who could possibly be more representative of that than God?

Sasori: -nods approvingly and sitsGhost: the knight was happy to take the bald-ness for Itachi, which means it’s probably Kisame. Kisame: Damn…tell me where Itachi is!! Ghost: The makes Itachi the Witch— Kisame: -tacklesItachi: -oomphGhost: --because Orochimaru was Sarutobi and staged his own murder because he finds Sarutobi’s death funny. Orochimaru: Teehee, it’s so true!! Superhero: -punches OrochimaruPriest: Hey now— Ghost: That makes Jiraiya the Priest because they were on the balcony together. Orochimaru: Yup! –licks JiraiyaJiraiya: -kisses backGhost: …ad disgustingly enough they’re apparently a couple now. Jiraiya: -blushSuperhero: Oo WTF?! Ghost: The superhero was defending Sarutobi, and tore apart metal Kyuubi with her bare hands— Naruto: YONDAIME!?!? Ghost: --it’s Tsunade. Naruto: Dammit…

Ghost: the Cat-Girl is Kankuro because he was eyeing the muffin so much and trashtalked Gaara’s a Lee’s relationship. Gaara: -glares at Kankuro, who is poutingGhost: the pirate was being mostly upright and kind, and agreed with Tsunade on most things—making him Yondaime. Yondaime: yep. –smiles and sitsGhost: Kyuubi thought it would be really witty to dress as a Ninja because he’s the only NON-ninja here. Kyuubi: Fuck you kid. Naruto: DAMN! I completely missed that! Yondaime: But that means…he was…eh? –twitchyGhost: Of course, Kyuubi forgot abut Akamaru who’s also technically not a ninja…and happens to be costumed as a course of the buffet table…I only noticed when he dodged Godzilla. Akamaru: arf! Bark yap! –damn Godzilla! I could have won!Ghost: Kabuto’s the doctor, by elimination and because he also thought he’d be witty and fool everyone by doing the obvious. Naruto: So that means…YOU’RE KIMIMARO!!! Ghost: No. No I’m not. Naruto: DAMMIT!! Hinata: That’s Shikamaru Naruto. Shino: Yeah, we all knew cause he had the laziest costume. Shikamaru: -takes off sheet- like this party was worth a complicated one. Anyway, since I’m on a roll, I want to say that it was a very convincing show, but the Fairy and Dominatrix— Kiba: Sakura and Zakura, we know. Ghost: No. The Dominatrix is Sakura and the Fairy is Zakura. I know because dominatrix knew about Kabuto and kept staring at him all night.

Sakura: I did not! And you suck! We worked so hard on impersonating each other! Shikamaru: You slipped up, sorry. Zakura: -gives fingerNaruto: …no way…that doesn’t make sense!! Yondaime: -pat, patShikamaru: Anyway, that leaves the phantom. This choice made sense because Kimi’s good at singing and— Kimimaro: -coming out of the bathroom in a bridal dress- What am I now? Sorry, I had some cranberry juice when I got here and it didn’t agree with me, I’ve been in the bathroom all night…so what were we saying? Shikamaru: -stares in horror- I…but…you…-looks from phantom, to Kimi, and backWHAT THE HELL?!?! Phantom: -let’s out a high, horrible laughterAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!! Sakura: No… –a huge cloud of smoke appears, the phantom get up is thrown outShikamaru: -twitch-and when it clearsSakura/Shikamaru: NOOOOO!!! -Ino is standing among themIno: That’s right! Hahah! I fooled you all! I knew I could! Even brainy old Shikamaru!! Kabuto: -twitch- But I thought….I mean, Kimi… Ino: -clings onto Kabuto’s arm- Yes, thank you so much for the lovely night! So, Sakura, aren’t you happy to see me? Lucifel: DUNDUNDUNNNNN!!!! Ok, last little question:

Kyuubi - supposedly there was a man called uchiha madara that could control you...is that true? happy Halloween! Kyuubi: no. There never was. Never will be. I rock ass. Yondaime: You were HITTING on me!! Lucifel: Yep. So, a lot to cover in the next chapter, huh? The fan said it best. Happy Halloween everyone!! Sakura: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ask Sakura 49 9 Lucifel: Sorry People. Busy weekend. SAT and DANE FREAKING COOK. So, I had a good time. Very busy, but was good.

And then shit happened. As you know, writing this is a spontaneous process for me. And, unfortunately, my flashdrive broke on Wednesday night (when this was supposed to be up) and I lost all that I had written, I had to re-write it. Then, I left my laptop at the gameshop we were at which killed more writing time. Basically, everything has been out to get me. I can’t tell you how sorry I am. This is almost four whole days late…unacceptable. Next one will be up on-schedule. If it KILLS me. Now…where were we? Sakura: WTFOMGBBQZGLKFHVNAJTOMEDKDJDJKTNYHAVGGTZSF?!?! Ino: Heh, as articulate as ever, aren’t you? Sakura: You…you… Shikamaru: I…how…but…it made sense…how could I…? Ino: Sorry, Shika, I guess you’re not THAT smart after all huh?! Shikamaru: …not…that…smart? Ino: U-huh! Shikamaru: -twitch, twitchKabuto: YOU FUCKING KISSED ME?!?! Sakura: you KISSED him!?!? Kimimaro: YOU KISSED HIM?!?!?! Orochimaru: You kissed him? Tsunade: -to Jiraiya, pointing at Oro- YOU KISSED HIM!!!!! Jiraiya: -blushing- I kissed him. Yondaime: -To Kyuubi- YOU DANCED WITH ME!! Kyuubi: Given the current situation your complaint seems a little weak, don’t you think? Yondaime: but…I…you… Zakura: Moving on to questions.

INO! -throws flowers around the room Ino, do us a favor and get Sakura and Kabuto together already, because your totally awesome and probably the only person who can do that. Kyuubi do you have a superiority complex? -Gives Kiba and Deidara cupcakesJune Ino: Yes, I know. I’m amazing. And why would I get them together? Sakura obviously doesn’t a deserve a cutie like this! –leans against KabutoKabuto: Phwa? Kyuubi: no. I AM superior. Deidara: Cupcake!! –omnomonom- yeah… Kiba: Kickass!! Want some Kero? Kero: HELL YEAH KID!! I’ll never turn down a form of cake! –gobblesAkamaru: -grumblegrowl.Tsunade: Jiraiya…WHAT THE FUCK!?!? Jiraiya: Well…we…just…I dunno… Orochimaru: We’re getting married!! Tsunade: WHAT?!? Jiraiya: Well, we were talking and one thing led to—wait, WHAT?! Orochimaru: Well, I figured if we started with that the truth wouldn’t be so shocking and maybe— Tsunade: no! No that’s retarded! How dare you! Orochimaru: Oh…well what if I tell you I’m pregnant? Jiraiya: ACK!! You’re…you’re not are you? I mean…we haven’t even…not really…I just… Orochimaru: …oh Jiraiya… Tsunade: -twitch-

Zakura: is it time for another flashback? Sakura: AGH!! NOO!! Zakura: this one isn’t even about you! Although, if you wanna see that one again— Saku/Kabu: NO!! Zakura: Ok then. FLASHBACK Jiraiya: -carrying Oro onto the balcony after the staged murder- I can’t BELIEVE you made me help you with that!! Orochimaru: -giggling uncontrollably- You know it was funny! Jiraiya: No—snrrk- No. No it wasn’t. Orochimaru: You almost laughed!! Jiraiya: I did not! Orochimaru: Oh yes you did! Jiraiya: Did not!! Orochimaru: Oh…well then we’ll fix it. –tackles and begins ticklingJiraiya: NOOOO! –tickles back-after a long while they lie panting beside each other…and Oro cuddles up to himJiraiya: Oro—don’t. Orochimaru: Why not? Jiraiya: It’s just—not right. Orochimaru: Why not? Jiraiya: You have no right to ask that question. Orochimaru: …yeah…

-after a long silenceJiraiya: Do you…do you ever regret any of it? Orochimaru: …no… Jiraiya: It’s probably my imagination but, did you just hesitate? Orochimaru: I shouldn’t say it. Jiraiya: Just tell me. Orochimaru: There was one thing. Jiraiya: -turns on his side to face Oro- yeah? Orochimaru: -looks at him- I never told you how much I loved you. Jiraiya: Well, I loved you too. It’s your fault nothing happened. Orochimaru: I know. Jiraiya: Fuck…fuck… Orochimaru: What’s wrong? Jiraiya: I just wish…something could work. No fuck it. It will. I should be trying to kill you right now—but you know what. Everything is so fucked up…I just want to forget it. Pretend like we’re just…how we used to be. Orochimaru: I can do that. I’ve been pretending not to be heart-broken for years. Jiraiya: -kissesOrochimaru: -kisses back and they start having a sweet moment…which gets hot and heavy in a hurry. MeowDei/Kisa/Ita/Sas: AWWWWWWW!! Saku/Naru: EWWWWWW!!! Tsunade: …-gaping shockHeh...Shika's definitely smarter than me. I only got about two-thirds of them... (Gives Shikamaru a brain-shaped hat... which won't come off) Kyuubi, you had me totally fooled! You tricky... kitsune?

Itachi: Do you have a sixth sense for finding bald people? Ino: Have you considered using your hair as a weapon? Shikamaru: -ignores hat and goes to a corner to sit in shockKyuubi: Damn right I’m tricky. Yondaime you would know about that, wouldn’t y— Yondaime: SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE!! Naruto: …I’m so afraid…. Itachi: …no…why? Kisame: Bald is beautiful! Kiba: But fish are ugly. Kisame: …fuck you. Ino: I DID, in the chuunin exam! You don’t pay much attention, do you? –clings on Kabuto’s armKurenai: What was the REAL reason that you hid from Asuma? Yondaime: Do you miss Kushina? Shikamaru: It's okay, you're still smart, even though you didn't know that the Phantom was Ino -pats on the back and gives a hugIno: BACK OFF!! Yondi is taken! ...And he's dead! Go drewl after Shikamaru or Sasuke or whatever! ...And nice to see you here. And why do you have a crush on Sasuke? And what did it feel like when you found out that Sakura had a crush on Sasuke and that you felt that you couldn't be friends anymore because of that?

Kurenai: Oh…well… Itachi: that WAS the real reason. Kurenai: it was not! After the whole divorce it’s just awkward— Itachi: My version’s better. Kurenai: Fuck off. Yondaime: Yes…very much…-tears upKyuubi: -slaps assYondaime: WHAT THE HELL?! Kyuubi: -smirks-

Shikamaru: Don’t touch me. –glaresIno: I wasn’t hitting on Yondaime…but anyway, I like Sasuke because he was the best-looking, strongest guy my age, and would obviously bring in lots of money with his skills!

Zakura: At least she’s honest about being a slut. Sakura: Don’t you DARE start taking her side! Zakura: Hey, I stand by whoever’s the most honest, ok? Sakura: …the world hates me… Naru/Lee: NO IT DOESN’T!! Sakura: -sighsIno: Anway, I knew I wouldn’t keep Sakura around long anyway. She was just a charity case so I could get some good points. Sakura: -gaping horrorTsunade: -continuing gaping horrorSakura- being the nice girl that wears her emotions on her sleeve makes it really easy to stab someone in the back. (No one suspects you. They also tend to forget you have done it.) Have you ever used this ability, and if so, when? I throw in a jakuzi full of water and two Lina Inverse style fire balls to heat it up. One misses and hits rolls 2d20 - Kabuto's hair? (rolls again and again and...) Hinata is too cute so Kabuto's hair it is.

Sakura: No. No I’m not a bitch like that. There’s more than enough back-stabbing going on around here without me. Ino: Oh whatever. Such a whiny bitch… Sakura: -sulking gets into the hot tubKiba: You ah—know you you’re in your clothes right? Sakura: Forget you. Kabuto: WTF?! OWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWWW!?!? Ino: Oh no!! –jumps on him and smothers fire with shirt until he’s ok again and she’s left straddling him- you ok? Kabuto: Umm…yes?

Ino: Oh good! Well, hey, good thing I wore my bikini under my clthes today! –strips into the skimpiest bikini EVAR and gets into the jacuzzi- us Kabuto! Kabuto: I…don’t have a suit? Ino: so? You wear boxers don’t you? Just get into those! Kabuto: Uh…I’m not…comfortable… Ino: -pulls off his shirts and pantses him- there! Perfect! Sakura: -gaping terror (upgrading from horror)Kabuto: -gets into Jacuzzi for sake of warmthOrochimaru: Oh my…poor Kabuto. Me:... anywhizzle my stupid baka bro wants to know if gaara is permanetly caked in sand. Brother is dumbass... And DEIDEIS HERE NOW? YAY (hugs deidara) ur awesome ^^ (hands deidara a cookie) And Gaara and itachi, you like frapuchinoes (or however its spelled) lol so do I here u guys (hands them millions of frappuchinoes) Itachi, your not going blind, its a rumor right? RIGHT? Ok off I go for now lemmee just get my friend here (raina): no ill just crawl home to my fuckin emo box thankyou very much

Deidara: teehee! Anywhizzle! What a great word, yeah! Sasori: You’re…way too easily pleased. Deidara: Well yeah. I’m with you, yeah. Everyone: OH SNAP!! Deidara: you know I love you yeah. Sasori: …very nice. Deidara: Been here for a while, yeah. But hi, yeah! YAY COOKIE!! Lee: I’ll answer the question…no. –wiggles eyebrowsGaara: -smirk- Yeah, you know all about that… Kankuro: meow. Gaara: frap!! –pounces-

Itachi: YAYYY!! Oh and here I can see fine, but yeah, my eyesight kind of sucks. It’s cool, it’s character depth. Deidara: Lol!! Emobox! Itachi: haha, say hi to my Ototo!! Lol. I have to say I only guessed a few of them... but INO! Yes you are better than Sakura but still... Ino you are more of a bimbo than pinky. plus get off Kabuto you fish! Maru-dono - Woo! You finally have Jiraiya! Which straightners do you use? Ino - How often do you have to bleach your hair? and don't you find being a A-class bitch 24/7 hard? Hina-hime - *prods with sparkly wand* You will now dress like Princess Peach(from mario) for as long as mentally possible. Luci!! I love the halloween special XD Do you want me to get my friend to draw everyone in their costumes? Ino: Well of course. I’m the best at everything I do! Neji: oh no you didn’t! I’m the best whore there is! Kiba: Yeah! No one out-whores Neji! Ino: No, see maybe you’ve been with more people, but that’s just cause I’m able to keep them coming back so I don’t need a new man every night. Neji: You bitch! Kiba: No you didn’t!! Neji’s more a of a whore than you could ever be! Ino: Yeah, I’m sure he’d like you to think so. Kiba: it’s true! Dammit, Neji, don’t listen to her. She’s a liar. I know you’re a whore. A REAL whore. Neji: thanks…thank you Kiba…that, that means a lot. Shino: …are you kidding me? Ino: -shrugs- Why should I get off a cutie like him anyway? –cuddles up to KabutoKabuto: -uneasy stillnessOrochimaru: Well, aside from using high-class shampoo and conditioner it’s all-natural!

Jiraiya: I’ll go all-natural. Orochimaru: the hell you will. I don’t know what you’ve got! Jiraiya: …thanks a lot Oro. Tsunade: -goes and drinksIno: My hair is natural too! Unlike SOME people. Sakura: My hair IS natural! God! Shikamaru: -twitchity twitch- … -pulls out letter nad begins scribbling madly to ChojiIno: And no, of course not. It gets me the attention I want and the respect I deserve. Zakura: -rolls eyesHinata: Oh umm…it’s… Kiba/Jira/Naru: -cuteness nosebleed!!Zakura: You look adorable! Hinata: But it itches… Kiba: baby, tell me where to scratch… Shino: Down boy. –smacksHinata: -blushing furiouslyLucifel: It’s up to you guys, but I always love fanart!! Ino: Yay! You’re here! now i can do this! (pulls out bazooka and shoots at Ino) sakura:(hands her the bazooka) have fun! Deidara: guess what!? i'm going to be you for halloween! i' m almost done with the costume. everyone else: i'm thinking of writing a scifi/fantacy story be i can decide on something, should i make satan flambointly gay? MiniDeath Ino: WHAT THE HELL?! Sakura: MUWAHAHAHAHAH!!

Kurenai: -gankSakura: My bazooka! Kurenai: None of that. Sakura: You cause absolute violence all the time! No fair! Kurenai: Against pervs and villains. Ino’s technically still a good person… Sakura: The hell she is… Deidara: Yay! Fandom! Yeah! How you pulling off the hands? Orochimaru: dude, Satan IS flamboyantly gay! Itachi: I didn’t know there was another way he could be… Jiraiya: -to Oro- who made you a satan expert? Orochimaru: Me, when I met and shanked him. :) Jiraiya: …right. Ok… Taki-Kun: Hi there again... I've got my friend Kari-Chan here withKari-Chan: OMG IT'S INO! *glomps Ino* YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY Taki-Kun: as it seems that Kari-Chan is now incapable of asking her question it seems I have to do them now…Why the hell did you kiss Kabuto? I mean he tried to kill Sasuke! And he's Totally GAY! JA NE ALL Ino: UMPH!! –is knocked to the bottom of the jucuzziSakura: -puts foot on chestKurenai: Sakura… Sakura: Oh FINE. –lets Ino upIno: -gasps, for air, clinging to Kabuto- Oh man…I thought I would drown…-leans against himKabuto: -goes stiff- Um…yeah… Sakura: you gotta be kidding me…

Kabuto: And I’m not TOTALLY straight… Sakura: -gets up, stalks offKabuto: -is distractedIno: why wouldn’t I? He’s a real sweetheart, and super cute. Kabuto: -blush1. Tsunade: Who do you want to be Hokage when you finally step down from your post as the fifth? 2. Ino: I was going to ask you if it was true that you're a slut, but you seem to have confirmed that already. So now I'll ask, considering that your dad seems like the really overprotective type, is it hard to hide the fact that you're a slut from him? Tsunade: Someone responsible, and ionate. Lee has plenty of ion, not enough brains, Sasuke is talented, but doesn’t care enough. Naruto: -perks up happilyTsunade: and NOT Naruto. Naruto: -REJECTEDKyuubi: Ouch. Yondaime: Seriously? Tsunade: No, but if I let him know that then he wont work as hard anymore. Yondaime: -nod, nodIno: Oh, well he is protective but— Kiba: you whore yourself to him too!! it it! Ino: NO! THAT’S DISGUSTING!! Itachi: why? It’s just cansanuinity!! Kankuro: YE—wait, what? Itachi: Teeheehee…-smileSasori: that’s the technical way of saying incest.

Lucifel: I found that out in biology earlier this week. I tried SO hard not to laugh. ^^ Kiba: your dead to, i planted a bomb in Akamaru, give Sakura the cards or he dies, if you try to take it out of him he shall blow up Zakura: the booze and album again UndineDemon (my mom is the devil and my grandmother is god)

Kiba: AACCK!?!? WHAT NO?!? Akamaru: -looks upKiba: I CAN’T GIVE UP MY CARDS!! Akamaru: -rolls eyes and lies down to dieKiba: -runs over to Shikamaru- Shika! You have to help me!! Shikamaru: no…I’ll get it wrong…you’re just as smart as me… Kiba: Are you kidding me?! I’m the dumbest person here!! Naruto: -GASP- You know what?! I’ll make my own country! RAMEN COUNTRY!! I’ll be RAMEN-KAGE!! Kiba: ok…maybe besides Naruto…but you can get me out of here! No one else! Shikamaru: Oh…ask Yondaime. Kiba: He’s busy avoiding Kyuubi! Shikamaru: I’m busy avoiding everyone!! You’re troublesome!! Kiba: But you’re the one in the brain hat!! Shikamaru: So what if I’m the—wait, what?!? –tries to pull off hat- Oh fuck…fine, now I need to vent frustration. Hand your cards to Sakura. Kiba: But— Shikamaru: HARUNO Sakura. Kiba: -hands over cardsSakura: I don’t even want these! –hands backKiba: Oh…wait…

Akamaru: -coughs up bombShikamaru: Yeah, see? It’s disengaged. Kiba: Wow…you ARE smart!! ‘ Shikamaru: Don’t patronize me. –sulksZakura: Yo! Baa-chan! Wanna drink? Tsunade: I…uh…yeah…-they start drinking togetherHT: I just so happened to come back when ino came in? dammit! amber: however this makes things interesting. so, ino, do you like kabuto? that would cause a conflict. HT: stop using difficult words amber. anyway, ino, are you over sasuke? amber: oh, thanks for killing lerica. HT: OMG! YOU HAD LERICA!? KATA IS GOING TO KILL ME! NOES! amber: oh, and does anyone know sasuke's greatest fear? i also need to know harry potter's fear. Ino: Well, sure. He’s good-looking and nice…and have you seen that ass? –grabs said assKabuto: Oo Ino: And Sasuke is just a solid marrying idea. He’s the best person for marriage (and sex) available! I know what I want and go for it. Kabuto: Huh…commendable… Sakura: what?! Kabuto: -shrugs- well it is… Deidara: LOLZ! Dead fans yay! Kisame: haha, rockin. Itachi: -rolls eyes- Oh Kisame… Naruto: Well, at least Harry’s worst fear is scabs. Sakura: wait--What?!

Naruto: Yeah…oh come ON. He wasn’t really afraid of fear itself, that’s retarded. He was obviously scared of the scab’s on the dementor’s hands. Sakura: I…ah…maybe… Shikamaru: -nodsIno: Anyway. Sasuke’s not afraid of anything. Orochimaru: Pinapple. Naruto: …what…? Orochimaru: Yeah. We had it at dinner in the hideout once, and he totally freaked out. It was hilarious. Shikamaru: -snort- seriously? Orochimaru: Yeah. Shikamaru: -nodsOrochimaru: -curiousI dare everyone to a shred off! whoever does the best guitar solo gets anything they want! BUT they will have to wait till next chapter to get it.

Zakura: Doesn’t anyone even WANT to challenge Kiba? Everyone: -dead stillYondaime: Sure, why not. Kiba: wait…you’re serious? Yondaime: Yeah…why wouldn’t I be? Kiba: -gape- Umm…ok…? -a huge stage is set up in the roomZakura: Kiba! Go! Kiba: -does ‘Free Bird. Masterfully.Zakura: cool, cool. Gerald?

Yondaime: -gets up, and performs ‘Black Betty’BLAM DA BAM!! Everyone: -MASSIVE CHEERINGZakura: Well…Kiba’s out-done. Kiba: Oo Nooooo!! Yondaime: wow…kickass. Kyuubi: Cute ass, and he plays guitar. Yondaime: STOP that! Kyuubi: Ok, listen, you’re the only person to EVER best me in competition. Don’t you think I’d be a little turned on by that? Yondaime: …eep… Kyuubi: -smirkZakura: So, what do you want as a prize, Gerald. Anything you want. Since you’re sensible I give you no boundaries. Yondaime: anything? Zakura: yep. Anything. Yondaime: I could really go for some ramen… Kiba: …holy shit. He really is Naruto’s dad. Zakura: you’re kidding right? Yondaime: no. I have no regrets in my life, so there’s nothing major to ask for. So, I live by the moments and right now, I have a huge ramen carving. HA! Ino was the Phantom! -singing- Shi-ka was WRONG-!! Yondaime: Speaking of being wrong. I'm VERY sorry but the correct answer to "What is 2+2" would be "A math problem." I'll be needing those earplugs back. Kabuto:... Ino... how in the FREAKING world did you mistake KIMI for INO?! Ino:... don't you have your OWN fic? Sakura: Answer this TRUTHFULLY, who in PHYSICAL ATTRIBUTES (not in

personality) do you think is hotter(a.k.a. more gorgeous, better looking, FINER!) Itachi Uchiha or Sasuke Uchiha? Shikamaru:…I hate you. All of you. You’re the most troublesome bunch of people ever. Lee: Don’t say that! It’s not YOUTHFUL!! Gaara: -kisses so he doesn’t rant.Lee: -is happily distractedYondaime: …I…oh wow. That’s Shikamaru-like annoyance. Lucifel: Nice job on that one. I’m impressed. Yondaime: And I could really use those earplugs now… Ino: -has been babbling to Kabuto nonstopKabuto: -actually seems to be listeningSakura: Wtf? Kabuto: whu—oh. Well…they’reboth blonde, and I know Kimi has a crtush on me…I just figured he got a little tipsy… Ino: Instead, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing. –winkKabuto: erm…-blushIno: I DID. But when it ended all of the interesting people went here so I decided I may as well follow. I’ve been watching for a while now...heh. Sakura: -twitch- um…well…dammit. Itachi. Itachi: this again? I just got the idea out of my head… Sakura: ONLY because he’s taller with nicer hair! Ino: Meow to that. Sakura: -glareshah, what great idea, I loved everyone's costumes! and Ino's here! so besides sasuke who do you like ( like enough to marry, or at least date)

Orochimaru I will never forgive you for killing the hokage your joke was stupid! I give a butcher knife to the fourth hokage so he can kill orochimaru! Lucifel: thank you!! Love you too! Naruto: Gaaaay. Lucifel: I know you are but what am I? Ino: Oh, I could see marrying Shikamaru. Shikamaru: -twitchIno: I mean, he has such a stable future…and then maybe Neji, since he’s got at least partially-good blood. Neji: Bitch… Ino: and then this guy right here! –leans on Kabuto with bewbs- he’s just too hot for words!! Kabuto: -awkwardOrochimaru: Oh come on! It was FUNNY!! -butcher knife goes flying and Oro narrowly dodges.- WTF?! Tsunade: -whistlesYondaime: I WASN’T GONNA THROW THAT!! Tsunade: So? Look, I’m tipsy, my aim sucks anyway… Jiraiya: No wonder you almost hit me! Tsunade: Nah, that was my second hope anyway… *Grins, as he swings his tails about, tickleing Lucifiel-chan with them* Ino: Welcome, Ino, to the horrible, horrible room of -torture-. I -do hope your ready. First dare, kiss Sakura, then Zakura, for ten minutes each, with lots of tounge. To make up for all the time you -weren't- in there. Kabuto: I'm lazy about torturing you this week, so all you have to do is pinch your arm every hour... Yondaime: I dare you to make a comment on Tsunade's boobs. P.S. *Tosses in Emperor Palpatine, and Darth Vader* Lucifel: teehee, you scoundrel.

Ino: I don’t have to do that right? Oro/Jira/Ita/Dei: OH YEAH YA DO!! Sakura: NOOO-MPPH-Ino and Sakura are forced to make out-Ino and Zakura make outIno: that was… Zakura: Damn! Woman has quite the tongue! Sakura: -gags a little bitIno: ewwewweww… Kabuto: -trying to hide nosebleedOrochimaru: You get straighter by the minute…it’s cute. Jiraiya: -has fainted from blood-lossKabuto: -rolls eyes and pinches selfIno: I’ll pinch you… Kabuto: Oo Yondaime: Umm…they’re large? Tsunade: -nod, nodPalpatine: YO my peeps! What is up? Vader: Word. Palpatine: I was chillin’ on my smallmoon/space station and suddenly it’s like what shizz-zat!! I’m in a whole new world yo! Vader: word up, dog. Kiba: Um…you guys aren’t exactly—

Vader: Bitch! Shut yo mouth before I teach you who yo daddy is! You know who yo daddy is, boy? Palpatine: Tell ‘em V-Dog. Vader: I am yo’ daddy, be-yotch! And you know it’s true! Palpatine: Hellz yeah, dog-boy. You been SCHOOLED!! Vader: Yo, let’s bounce. I gotsta get my armor polished for my big meeting with grandlabel-master dis evening. Palpatine: Fo sho’ V-dog. I down wit’ you. Let’s roll. -they leaveEveryone: wtf? Kiba: All my childhood…crushed… ha ha, nice costume Kyuubi. Here's caldron of halloween candy for you all to share. lets have Yondaimei smooch whoever he least wants to kiss right now. and here's a pair of wedding rings for whoever wants to get married coz I'm getting married this Sunday! Kyuubi: Damn right bitch. Kurenai: CANDY!! –takes all the chocolate to a cornerYondaime: Oh no… Orochimaru: WHOOO!! DO IT!! Yondaime: I don’t wanna— Kyuubi: -grabs and pulls into a massive kissYondaime: -pulls away gaspingZakura: Hey, doesn’t count unless you kiss back! Yondaime: Wha— Kyuubi: -does it againYondaime: -kisses back-

Orochimaru: WOOHOO!! YEAH!! Yondaime: -is dizzyWedding rings: -are takenLucifel: But by who? Why don’t you read the next chapter…in…a few…days…and find out?! I’m sorry again. Thanks for your patience. See you all later!!

Ask Sakura 50 Lucifel: Ok, by on time, I meant “one day late” but you all know this is actually a very good job on my part. So bite me. Just so we’re clear, everyone is back in the usual room, with a hot-tub in one corner and a sulking Shikamaru with a brain-hat in the other.

Also, I just wanted to mention I saw pretty much ALL my usual fans this time around, some that I hadn’t heard from in a bit, and just want5d to say how much I love you guys!! SO!! CHAPTER FIFTY!!! WOOT!! That’s FIFTY FREAKING CHAPTERS OF RANDOM CRAZINESS!! WHOOOO!!! Also, I got my license!! I is a legal driver!! Yay!! And a new cell! Things are going good, which only means more hell for our cast…hehe. Ok, moving on. Aww Hina, you look so cute XD glad I thought of it like HELL Ino's a good person... Sorry blondie but your bimbo-iness is like the plague, no one wants it or you Ino... is it possible to be with a guy who flinches every time you touch him? Though I do agree Kabuto-kun is super cute XD O Shikamaru... what did you learn before about plot holes? Bad things come to people who use them, I shall plot your doom... you are warned! LOVE THIS FIC He-Yan Hinata: Th-thank you…but it itches… Neji: I’ll scratch it for you… Kiba: That’s right! Defend your whoring title! Ino: But that’s INCEST!! Itachi: No, that’s JUST incest!! Ino: …eww…Kabuto, you think it’s gross don’t you? Kabuto: Well, I generally find Itachi annoying and disgusting, but I’ve kinda gone numb to the whole incest thing… Ino: Oh…well, everyone has SOME flaws. –clingKabuto: -shiftsIno: I AM a good person! I do lots for my community, and I’m GORGEOUS!! Kiba: Feh, Neji serves the community better than you. Neji: Yeah, because I don’t discriminate who I sleep with. Ino: I’ve said before, I’m a QUALITY slut, not quantity. It just means I’ll last longer to sleep with people because I’m not spreading diseases.

Neji: I DON’T HAVE DISEASES!! Ino: Of course you don’t…anyway, of course it is! It’s just a matter of forcing him to enjoy or get used to it. Orochimaru: Besides, Kabuto’s not flinching. He’s shifting his weight, and blushing. Which means he’s embarrassed…but flattered. Kabuto: We— Sakura: WHAT?! Orochimaru: Yep. Kabuto: That’s not— Orochimaru: you know it is. Kabuto: -turns bright red and shuts up while Ino fawns over himShikamaru: Fine…whatever. –sulks- I’ll just shut up and never talk again. –scribbles to ChojiIno-chan! -Gives a crown- Ne, since your so awesome... who do you think would make an ideal lover for Naru-chan? -Gives Naru some ramenDei-chan! -gives some fireworks- well done on pwning Sasori with the easily pleased... have fun! -Blinks- Where did Zabuza and Haku go? Ooh. -bets on Oro and Jiraiya getting marriedJune x Ino: For NARUTO? A lover?! Don’t make me laugh!! Naruto’s probably never kissed anything other than his pillow! Gaara: Hey bitch! Watch what you say about my best friend. Ino: Oh you know it’s true. Gaara: Actually, I know for a fact it’s not. And you know, usually I don’t pay attention to un-interesting, stupid, only-good-for-mediocre-sex people like you, but if you start ragging on anyone I care about in the slightest I WILL sand-coffin your plastic face. Ino: -stunnedNaruto: -stunned-

Lee: YOSH!! THAT WAS A SUPER-YOUTHFUL THREAT!! I LOVE YOU GAARA!! Itachi: For the record, who do you care about? Gaara: Lee, Naruto, Kimimaro, and Kankuro. And Fraps. Itachi: Ah. I see. Naruto: You never did that before when people made fun of me… Gaara: Before they weren’t as annoying as she is. They have a sort-of right to make fun of you. Not that bimbo. Ino: Kabuto!! Can you believe how mean he was!! –clings to Kabuto- I need comfort! Kabuto: -pats shoulderSakura: -twitchSasori: Oh F— Deidara: FIREWORKS FTW YEAH!!! –sets them all offThere is several minutes of massive, colorful exploding and finally it settles and the room is still in tact but everything inside is broken and burned…including the people. But not including Hinata’s dress or Shikamaru’s hat. Hinata: …well, that’s handy. Shikamaru: -rolls eyesZakura: -shaking off burns- Nice job, Dei. Deidara: -gives thumbs up from where he lying dazed on the groundZakura: Zabuza and haku? Oh, they’re still here…I’m surprised Haku’s managing to breathe… Ino: Isn’t that girl a little young for that man? Kabuto: Yes, and that’s a boy. Ino: Oh…eww.

Itachi: YOU DID NOT JUST SAY “EWW” ABOUT FRIGGIN HAKU!! Zabuza: -suddenly there- WHO said that? Ino: -points at SakuraZabuza: -punches SakuraSakura: She’s a liar!! It was her! Zabuza: You deserved to be punched anyway… Sakura: HEY! Haku: Oh come back and make me feel beautiful darling!! Zabuza: -is gone in an instantTsunade: -twitchesOrochimaru: Haha, no. We won’t be getting married. We have to go back to trying to kill each other after this… Jiraiya: -sighTsunade: -twitchItachi: People are really twitchy lately…geez. Sakura you NEED to let go of the obsessive fangirl shit. Sasuke is a gay, emo who looks like a stripper and he needs to DIE! Orochimaru,Itachi,and Kabuto are right. oh! Orochimaru is BAD ASS! Kabuto and Itachi are hot amd yes, Gaara ia SEXY! so Sakura, just MOVE on!! Sasuke is GAY. G-A-Y! his NAME proves it Sasuke- Sasgay! they RHYME for pete's sake! bye!, Suna's Assassin Sakura: What happened to not taking these kind of reviews?! Zakura: This one is kind of funny. I mean, all this ranting for a subject completely overwrought. Sometimes it’s annoying, but this chick pulls it off!! Sakura: Sasuke is great! I don’t care what anyone says! If nothing else he’s a brave, powerful ninja! Shikamaru: -scoff-

Sakura: All right, smarty-pants, why isn’t he? Shikamaru: Because if he was brave he would be able to face up to the people here. You know he knows we’re here. Also, if he were brave he’d be able to go without obsessing over his brother. He’s afraid to go into the future, so he keeps running back to the past. Naruto: Holy shit…that’s deep. Orochimaru: lol! And true! Itachi: I don’t mind!! Sakura you should also consider Gaara-sama! he is totally cool! this is for gaara: KILL SASUKE PLEASE HE IS AN ANNOYING GAY ASS EMO PLEASE?? I'LL GIVE YOU A COOKIE! DO IT FOR THE COOKIE AND SAKURA. Sakura: …-shockGaara: -horrorGaa/Saku: NO!! WO guess who, your fave cookie baking psycho ^_~ I didnt bring Raina cuz shes still a little miffed so yeah. Anywhizzle (btw deidei feel free to use the word since u like it) to the questionable questions yes! Gaara and Itachi, how did u 2 get so awesome? (hands frappuchinos) Orochimaru, were u always gay? And Ino...why do u like EVERYONE Sakura has interests in? cant u find someone else? And this time, COOKIES FOR EVERYONE (pelts everyone with chocolaty chip goodness) Deidara: haha, is she still in her emo-box, yeah? This girl is my favorite, yeah. Sasori: You’re fuckin’ weird. Deidara: Anywhizzle…hahaha…anywhizzle… Gaara: It’s all natural…also, Fraps are automatic awesome enhancement. Itachi: Word up! –gulps frapOrochimaru: Yup! But not always a pedophile! You have to grow up before you can be one of those!

Jiraiya: …what have I got myself into? Tsunade: -goes numb from twitching so muchIno: what can I say? The one thing Sakura does right is pick men! It’s just less work for me! Sakura: …god I hate you. Ino: -smilesDeidara: Anywhizzle!! Kiba: COOKIES!! –he snatches- Come on Kero! Come eat! Shino: Uh, Kiba, what about Akamaru? Kiba: Dogs can’t eat chocolate! He won’t mind! Shino: -eyes the depressed Akamaru lying across Shikamaru’s lap- Ok then… Kibe/Kero: YAAAAAAA!! –go on feeding frenzy-steps back shocked out of her mind, but gets mad in a second- YOU DID -NOT- JUST DO THAT, SHIKAMARU! -glares hard- as a punishment, I order you to make out with Ino for ten minutes! Lots of tongue! HURRY Yondaime: NO! KYUUBI DESTROYED YOUR SMEXINESS BY KISSING YOU! It's okay, I'll save you! -hands over a remote control- with this little thing, you can do all kinds of stuff to Kyuubi! Electrical shock, drowning without water anywhere near him, sponge bath-I mean internal bleeding etc. And he, and no one else, can't destroy it! Am I a good girl now?!? Jiraiya: I am so disappointed in you... What about Icha Icha?! Is it going to become gay porn or something?!? CONGRATS TO THE ONE THAT GETS THE RINGS! AND LOTS OF HUGGLES AND WEDDING CAKE! Adios! Shikamaru: …no. Zakura: yep. Ino: Oh well…fine! –pouncesShikamaru: MPFH!! Zakura: Beter start kissing back!

Shikamaru: -kisses back…-it is doneIno: -skips back over to KabutoShikamaru: -throws up a littleKabuto: That was…ah…intense. Ino: that’s how I do everything. –winkKabuto: -blushYondaime: Oh umm…ok…He’s been ignoring me this chapter so— Kyuubi: -taps shoulder- Ahem. Yondaime: Eep, what? Kyuubi: -holds out hand- If I may? Yondaime: -nervously hands over remoteKyuubi: -folds remote in half, twists, crunches, burns, melts and incinerates the thingYeah, you fans forget—I’m above and beyond all fan-power. I’m only here for kicks, Lucifel’s got nothing on me. Lucifel: Yes I— Kyuubi: -leavesLucifel: Hey! No! you can’t— Kyuubi: -waltzing back in- I just did. Jiraiya: Oh HELL no!! Icha Icha will remain it’s sexy self always!! Orochimaru: Teeheem he could write about me as a woman! Jiraiya: Oh…you’re brilliant. Kiba/Kero: CAKE!! –continue eatingShino: -face-palm-

amber: look whos here! -points to a vampireHT: oh shit... -hideskata: sup bitches? i am vampy-puppy-chan, but you will call me kata. now, i undersand you killed lerica, my child? amber: but first, have any questions? kata: hmm... lets see, itachi, who do you think is the sexiest person in that room? Zakura, want some pics of tsunade and anko naked? amber: oh, yes, kabuto dear, do you like sakura or ino more? now excuse me while katachan and i plan HT's fate. -they go into a dungeon to talkItachi: LOL!! HT’s gonna DIE!! Orochimaru: Yay! Vampire! Itachi: -singsongs- Fan-girl gonna diiiie!! Fan-girl gonna diiiiiie!! Deidara: -s in- Fangirl gonna diiiies, yeah! Kurenai: -rolls eyes and shakes headItachi: hehe, anyway…hmm…I’d have to say Gaara. He’s pretty damn hot. Gaara: -clings onto LeeZakura: Um, yes and always! Tsunade: You better not buddy…and tell me who took those because they WILL get their face ripped off. Jiraiya: That’s my Tsunade… Tsunade: -glaresJiraiya: -shudders- umm…ok… Ino: where are your pupils? And I meant use your hair like Gaara uses sand, to slice people in half and stuff. Zabuza: I dare you to re-enact a generic slasher film by chasing around the young girls with your sword. We need a villain to steal Xmas this year. Any volunteers? Glad you're back, Lucifel. Enjoy the home stretch. Ino: My…my what? In my eyes? Kabuto: They’re just fans. Don’t worry about them. –pats-

Sakura: Oo Ino: And no, my hair is meant for much more sensual things than slicing people. Zabuza: -evil glint in his eyesHaku: Oh, not again… Zabuza: Here, girlies! Hina/Saku/Ino: WTF?!? Zabuza: BUWAHAHAAHAHAHAH!! –chasesHaku: -sighsOrochimaru: I’ll do it! And with my tongue! Deidara: anywhizzle! Teeheehee… Sasori: that’s gonna get annoying really fast… Deidara: Anywhizzle, yeah! Sasori: -clenches teethZabuza: MUWAHAHAHAHHEHEHEHEHEHE!! Kyuubi: I want some! –s Zabuza in the chaseSakura: Godammit!! Hinata: What can we do? Ino: Umm…the roof? Sakura: Wow, you were MADE for horror films, weren’t you? Ino: Fine! The boiler room then! Sakura: …man, but I called it… *Hot demon sex for Lucifiel-chan* Kabuto: *Sets it up so only Kabuto can hear him* I've decided to torture you anyhow...First, you must insult Kyuubi, then, insult Hinata until she cries, then do the

same to Haku. Have fun. Itachi: I found these while stealing from Orochimaru. *Drops a sack full of Sasuke porn for Itachi* PS: *Tosses in that on hero from Fable, with him full evil, the sword of Aeons, and the nickname Gladiator. And Jack of Blades, from the same game. Just because I've been playing it to much lately, and seeming them do something will cure me of it* Lucifel: Hells yes! I love my husband. –smileZakura: So, does your boyfriend know about this guy? Lucifel: SHH!! Zakura: …ok…-rolls eyesKabuto: …what? Zakura: Bitch! You heard the man! Kabuto: Kyuubi! You…uh…smell bad! Kyuubi: Fuck you kid! –jumps out and makes Hinata scream and run away- hah! Kabuto: -phew- Hey, Hinata! Hinata: Y-yes? Kabuto: you…uh…you…are ugly? Hinata: Oo –starts sobbingKabuto: Well that was easier than I thought… Kure/Kiba/Shin/Naru/Zaku: -ATTACK!!Kabuto: -is beat into a bloody pulp- I’m not even trying Haku… Zabuza: -steps on a wound- Damn right you’re not… Kabuto: -meepItachi: YES! PRON!! Kisame: Uchiha Pr0n for the win! Itachi: None for you!

Kisame: -bares teeth- what was that, darling? Itachi: …wanna see? Kisame: Yay! Fable hero: Sup. I’m here to buy real estate, kill my family, and seduce random women I find on the street. Jack: FTW!! Kyuubi: Is that so? Jack: Yes, yes it is. What about it? Kyuubi: Oh, I’m just this little thing I like to call…the demon about to rape your FACE. Fable dude: Heh, I’m the HERO, ok? You can’t touch— Kyuubi: -grabs Fable guy by the face, rips said face off, then swings his body against Jack, then sends a bolt of demon chakra into both of them which incinerates them and disables all resurrection.- Oh really? Yondaime: -gape- Have you gotten stronger? Kyuubi: Nah, just more pissed. Yondaime: -gulpA.H.S:-Reaches over and cuts Ino's hair off with gardening sheers!- I hate you! Die you slut!! Zetsu: No wonder your's and Sasori's kid is messed up. A.H.S: Hey! Least you can't blame Daimos for eating Kisame's goldfish!! Anyhow!! Kyuubi! Just what exactly changed your mind about the guy who sealed you in Naruchan's tummy? Sasori, Deidara...Daimos wants to come for a visit so watch out...Tehehe. And last but greatest! Saku-chan...Don't you think it would be a good time to use THAT technique I taught you? -Shifty eyes towards Ino.Sasori: Dammit! I thought she was gone! Lucifel: Welcome back! Ino: …you…I can’t…NOOOOO!!! Kabuto: I’ve always like short hair actually. Orochimaru-sama excluded.

Ino: Oh well, there is that. –smile and cuddlesSakura: wtf? MY hair is short! Zakura: Subtle. Sakura: -blushKisame: MY GOLDFISH!!! NOES! I NEEDS MY SNACKS!! Itachi: Eep. Kisame: I guess I’ll just have to eat Itachi when I get the munchies… Itachi: -hides behind SasoriSasori: I’m not gonna protect you. Kisame and I have an understanding of bitches and where they belong. Deidara: Are you talkin’ about me, yeah? Sasori: Yep. Deidara: K. –smileSasori: And I’m not afraid, he’s been scheduled for a visit for a while now. And where is he? Not here. I’m seriously not worried. Deidara: I am yeah! What if he seduces me, yeah! Sasori: Do you care? Supposedly he’s very much like me. Deidara: …oooooh. Yeah. Sakura: OH! HAHA— Zakura: Actually, that’s mine. Sakura doesn’t get it. Sakura: …GOD I HATE YOU!! Zakura: I’m doing my job well. Kiba/Akamaru/Shikamaru: so you know, that wasnt the bomb, its his entire body, every cell has a small bomb in it Sakura: take the god-fucking-damn cards, one of them will allow you to kill ino and the

other can seal Zakura back into you Kurenai: you kno that Asuma dies in shipuuden and you are pregant with his kid? Gaara: a new book to write you hit list in and a frap UndineDemon Kiba: WHAT?!?! Akamaru: arf? –hueh?Shikamaru: …Ok, listen. I beg to differ. This whole place is based off the rules of fangilrism. You didn’t state off the bat that’s how it was, so Lucifel or whoever made up her own choice, acted on it and now it’s final. Because the basic premise is—the bomb was removed. Lucifel: Yeah…what he said…-shifty eyesLee: Ah! Shikamaru! It’s good to see you being youthfully smart again! Shikamaru: …I miss the clouds… Kiba: Oh, rock on! Isn’t that great Akamaru!! Akamaru: Arf, bark yapyap. –right, cause it matters to you…Kiba: What? Of course it does! Akamaru: Bark, woof, bowwow! –no, I understand, just go ahead and pig out with your new friendKiba: Akamaru…oh, buddy, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize— Akamaru: YAPARF BARK!! –yeah! Of course you didn’t! You’re dimwitted and thick! You’re a horrible friend- -runs offKiba: …Akamaru… Sakura: Seriously? Which cards are those? Kero: Yeah, of the ones Kiba has…not so much… Kurenai: …yes, thank you. Thank you so much for pouring salt on my wound. I have paper cut, would you like some lemon juice?! Tsunade: -pat, pat- We’ll kick her ass later. Kurenai: -sulks-

Gaara: Cool. –copies down names…adds InoNaruto: hehe, fuck yeah Ino-bitch. Ino: look it's not because i hate you it's because your not in the top five faoverite female naruto character's and you making me mad, don't feel to bad! Deidara: I'm sorry Deidara but i wasn't able to be you for Halloween, my wig fell apart and i could't be you with short hair. I failed you! Everyone else; you all have to sing "It's not unusual" by Tom Jones! MiniDeath Ino: …there are more than five females in Naruto? Hinata: You, me, Sakura, Kurenai and Tsunade…who else? Sakura: Anko. Ino: You know she’s practically a man. Sakura: Well, what about Shizune?? Ino: she’s a MINOR character!! Seriously! Kankuro: Temari’s way better than you. And so is her girlfriend. Ino: Who’s her girlfriend? Kankuro: Tenten. Ino/Nej: Who? Kankuro: …nevermind. Ino: this is ridiculous… Deidara: It’s ok…anywhizzle, who did you go as?? YEAH! Sasori: -shakes headNaruto: But I don’t KNOW that song! –whineShikamaru: So just sing “it’s not unusual by tom jones” Naruto: Ha?

Shikamaru: The rest of you get it right? Everyone: -nod and then sings (to a generic tune)- It’s not unusual by tom jones!! Naruto: Ohhh. I get it. Jiraiya: -pats on head comfortinglySakura -- since you are going to be screwed no matter what... here is a black leather mid-thigh gladiator skirt and matching bikini top. You have too wear this outfit for the rest of the chapter. you can choose to wear it longer. Here's a whip too. Ino -- who would you like to have sex with most in the room? No lying Sakura: Whu? Ino: Ohh…I hate to see where that bulges… Sakura: -glares- gimme that. –takes and put on- I’m sorry, what’d you say, bitch? Ino: Ahh…yeah see? Chicked fat on the arm-pits, the leather ispinched in places…you really can’t pull that off can you? Sakura: -twitchJiraiya, Naruto and Lee meanwhile are drooling and nose-bleeding all over the floor. Kabuto: -blushes and turns away, holding his noseIno: If I could sleep with ANYONE? Well, Yondaime of course! He’s powerful, sexy, and has major social-status! I would get such great rep! Yondaime: …I fell violated somehow… Jiraiya: Schoolgirls have a way of doing that…just sit back and enjoy. Long time no see i see alot of things have changed and that Kisame AKA 'The Super Fish'is here. To DeiDei: Why did you have the Mouth over your heart stitched together it looks freaking awesome? Gift: Giant bag of Exploding Clay that Zakura can't touch thanks to a little device To Yondaime: *pokes you in the shoulder and looks at you* how the hell are you doing that? Magic Lamp that can grant one wish (no not three) as long as it is reasonable as in you can't come back from the dead with it To 'Super Fish': How did you come to be with all the gills and blue skin tell me if someone has already asked answer again cause i'm too lazy too go back and read it. Gift: I'll put in a deep sea pool filled with fish.

Best Regards from Lyon Ryuushi Lucifel: Hey! I missed you! Itachi: I didn’t! Sakura: Ok, can you guys hear her or not? Itachi: hear who? Sakura: -criesDeidara:…I don’t know. Anywhizzle, can I has clay? Yeah? Lucifel: -whistles and goes to check out more of the mangaYondaime: …doing WHAT? –backs up- this fan is scaring me! Naruto: what you gonna wish for? Yondaime: A ramen stand. NarutoL: KICK ASS!! Yondaime: My treart. –gestures stand that just appearedNaruto: -giddy smilingKisame: Super…? Oh well. Anyway, the skin was always that color, it’s weird, but I mean, Zabuza’s is gray. Just kind of happens. Zabuza: It’s because we kick ass, ftw. Kisame: Word. And anyway, the gills are actually scars…from a fight Zabuza, Cartman and Kenny and I got in. Kenny died. It sucked until we got the next replacement. Zabuza: Ugh, I that. What a pain… To Kisame: 1. I think I saw you the Jaws movie. To Sakura: ...This is random but, has anyone ever called you a hammerhead? To Deidara: STOP GIVING YOURSELF A BLOWJOB PERVERT! To Orochimaru: -pulls out butcher's knife- I always wanted to get a snake skin wallet. -smilesBYE BYE WOOF!

Kisame: Yeah, I was a stunt-man. All the distance shots? Me. Itachi: You’re so fucking WEIRD!! Kisame: you know you like it. Sakura: What!? NO— Kisame: Hammerhead’s are way sexier. Itachi: What th— Kisame: Hey, it’s JUST beastiality! Itachi: …you just…killed my catchphrase. Kisame: I guess you’re gonna behave oh darling one? Itachi: I hate it when you’re like this. Kisame: I can go back to child-like devotion… Itachi: No. no that’s ok. Deidara: oh, like if you could you wouldn’t! Gimme a break, yeah…-reaches into pantsSasori: -shakes headOrochimaru: That’s nice. Shikamaru: Don't be Depressed! If you were right all the time you'd be god, and well... you're not. Kabuto: What male in the room do you like least? Sakura: I am really disliking Kabuto for some reason right now so I'm very sorry but your being dared to kiss the man he likes least in the room right now. Itachi: If you HAD to go straight and kiss a girl, in the room, who would it be? (No Deidara doesnt count) Shikamaru: Well…I…damn you. Kabuto: Ah…umm…Jiraiya. He got Orochimaru-sama.. Sakura: I hate you… Kabuto: What—oh…shit.

Jiraiya: Oo Sakura: whyyyy… -Jira/Saku Make outs…everyone gags!Itachi: Anko. She’s the manliest. Teehee. Tsunade: Oh, that’s gross…and true. Kiba: -tracks down Akamaru- Hey. Akamaru: arf. –yoKiba: Hey, listen…I didn’t realize you were feeling left out. And, I’m not saying it was just how you felt, I know I really was a complete and total asshole. I’m so sorry. You’re my best friend, and I’d never want anyone else to be my buddy. Akamaru: …bark. –ok.Kiba: hah? Akamru: bark, yapyap, arf arf, woof, bowwow. Bark. –That’s all I needed to hear. You’re my best pal. You just need a kick in the assKiba: hehe, fair enough. Akamaru: bark! –That’s my boy!-Akamaru jumps into Kiba’s arms and they have a dog-boy love moment…beastiality yay!That was some sweet action Kyuubi, thank you very much, heres a lightsaber (coz they're pimp) For Shikamaru, would you ever marry anyone and who? Kyuubi: Pimp. Zabuza! Want some jedi-horror? Zabuza:…hell yeah. -they re-starts the terrorShikamaru: no. Naruto: Hey come on Shika—

Shikamaru: NO. Naruto: …ok… Lucifel: That’s all for now! Hurray! Only Tuesday night…or Wednesday morning… whatever… Love ya’ll!!

Ask Sakura 51 7 Lucifel: number seven ya’ll. Here’s the deal. I have 806 reviews right now. I STILL want 1,000 by the time this is over. That’s…somewhere between 27-30 reviews for every chapter…oooh, including the last one, so more like 30-35 per if I don’t count closing reviews…Now, I can do it if you can. Get me those reviews by any means necessary!!!!!

Sakura: You’re freakin weird… Lucifel: really? You think so? Sakura: -sighsLucifel: Onwards and upwards!! Orochimaru: I’LL go upwards! Sakura: I thought you couldn’t hear her!! Orochimaru: I’m talking to Jiraiya… Jiraiya: -blush(throws in a pink pony plushie) It has 20 uses. Squeeze it and think of anything you want or anything you want to happen and POOF! there ya go. Haku: KYAA!! Pony!! –grabs and cuddlesZakura: Twenty charges? I don’t think so. It has two. Haku: Well I just want to cuddle it forever and ever! -POOFThe pony is now glued to Haku’s chest and armsHaku: Oh…whoops… Zabuza: Good job. Haku: this would be a lot better if I had extra arms that weren’t so stuck… -POOFHaku now has four arms Zabuza: Why didn’t you just wish you hadn’t asked for that?! Haku: I…forgot…Well, this is kind of cool! Zabuza: …sure…

Jiraiya: What’s wrong with you man! Do you know what you can DO with all those arms?! Orochimaru: That was one thing Kidomaru was always great for…teehee… Jiraiya: Oo Kimimaro: Ewww… KJ: Lucifel, I like your story -hugAz: In my opinion, Neji is the better whore compared to Ino. At least his chest is real and he's not a rendition of Barbie. KJ: But to tell if it's real you have to look-Az: I said it's fake. Never said anything about it not being nice. KJ: Itachi: If you could meet any person in the world, who would it be? Az: Kyuubi, what would your pimp name be? Or if you have one, what is it?

Lucifel: Aww, thanks. –smilesNeji: Yes! Thank you! Ino: That’s one girl’s opinion Neji. One FANgirl. And everyone knows fangirls are jealous of my—my— Orochimaru: nice but fake chest? Ino: WHEN did she look? Wtf?! Deidara: Oooh, stalkers are never fun…yeah… Sasori: Coming from you? Deidara: I never stalkING wasn’t fun. Yeah! Sasori: …right… Itachi: Oh gosh…probably one of those iron-fisted rulers from way back when. Get some pointers. And they were all into incest too… Sasori: How do you figure? Itachi: you kidding me? Way back when incest was ALL the rage among royalty! Deidara: It’s true yeah! Kisame: I’ll rule over something all right…-eyes Itachi’s assDeidara: You’re so much hotter when you’re in domination mode, Kisame. When you dote on Itachi it’s creepy, yeah.

Kisame: Well, the man is worth doting over. Itachi: Damn right. Kyuubi: I don’t NEED a pimp name. Why would I? My name strikes shock and terror into the hearts of all who know of me. So, using a false name over that? I think not. – demonic smirkYondaime: …I really should go… A.H.S: -Shifts Kaze in her arms as she nibbles on a Kisame plushie- Kisame...I think your gonna have to stay away from the base when your guys are released. I think she has an affinity for sharks, -Chuckles a bit.-Tosses in a pair of clippers- First person to shave Ino bald and take off her eyebrows gets a year supply of liqoured chocolates! Anyhow...Kabuto! Your a fooking nimbrod!Ino's a damn slut!! She might have diseases or something!! Sasori: Wonderful. First thing when we get is to assassinate all her children. Deidara: Amen, yeah. Kisame: -twitch- That’s fucking creepy. Sasori: It’s always creepy when someone’s attracted to you… Kisame: -flips fingerIno: What kind of horrible dare is that!! Kurenai: I’LL DO IT!!! Kabuto: -gets in her way- Kurenai! She’s a STUDENT. Sakura: Out of the way, four-eyes!! Tsunade: -grabs both of them by the scruff- Show a little dignity girls. Ino: -cowers behind Kabuto- I already said I DON’T! I get tested all the time! I’m clean! You can ask Tsunade! Tsunade: Yeah, yeah you’re clean. Ino: See?

Kabuto: Oh. Don’t give them any attention. They just feed off it. Sakura: DICK! Ino: Yeah, you don’t get any. Sakura: -sits and sulksKabuto: You ok, Ino? Ino: Hey, my hair’s still firmly attached right? Kurenai: -chops off pony tail- Sort of. Does this count? Tsuande: -pulling her away- Counts as you sitting in a corner until your chocolate craze subsides… Kurenai: you know it never will…NEVER Tsuande: Well I can dream… Orochimaru: Worked for me! –cuddles JiraTsunade: -TWITCHIno: NOOOOO!!!! Kabuto: Short hair is cute though… Ino: BUT IT’S MY HAIR!! Deidara: Aww, you don’t look as much like me anymore, yeah… Ino:…I’m good. So Ino can't pick guys, that would explain the slutty-whorey-ness no offense to Neji, Stop touching Kabuto or I get your Dad in there... Can I take Akamaru on a holiday? Pretty please Zakura... Kiba's not being nice to him right now... Shika! If you coach me for my mock exams I shall steal Goku's cloud for you O.O but no you had to go plotholing again be friken glad I lost my wand in the junk on my desk... I WILL GET EVEN Kabuto, think of nothing for a second... Yellow or Pink? ... Bitch or Bimbo? He-Yan -xIno: My dad or Neji’s dad?

Itachi: Oh, I’m hoping Neji’s. Neji: Please no! Shino: then I guess you’ll both just have to knock the whoring off. Neji: …NEVAR. Ino: I’m NOT. I’m very specifically going after one guy. Kabuto: -blushZakura: no. no one’s leaving this room until the end of the story. Kyuubi: -leavesZakura: fuck you! Kyuubi: -comes back in- Nah, I don’t like you. Naruto: I thought you did like some women? Kyuubi: I do. But not girls. I like boys and women. Not girls and men. Yondaime: …are you calling me a BOY? Kyuubi: Actually, you’re so bishie you count as woman. Yondiame: …I could be in heaven right now… Kyuubi: you’re ass IS heaven. Yondaime: WTF?! Kyuubi: -chucklesShikamaru: No. There are way better tutors. And that’s just one cloud. And it’s a fast cloud too…-sulksKiba: Dammit Shikamaru! You. Are. Smart! Ok?! Shikamaru: Whatever… Kabuto: Whu—

Orochimaru: JUST DO IT!! Kabuto: Pink bimbo. Itachi: that’s a weird mix… Kabuto: Honestly I just kind of thought of pink elephants…-shrugsItachi: Oh so it WAS sakura. Sakura: HEY!! Anjiru/Danie: *huggles everyone in the room… except for Ino cause we don’t like her xD* Danie: Anyways, we mished about… 10 or 11 updates? Anjiru: We’re so sorry Lucifel-chan!! *huggles* Danie: Question! Anjiru: Does anyone know about the term, “Lolicon”? *tries to throw some guy named Larry who loves to eat chocolates and drink frap* Danie: Oh and…. *gives everyone some home-made cookies* Anjiru: That’s it for now! Danie and Anjiru Lucifel: GIRLS!! I missed you! Itachi: Damn, a lot of the old fans are coming back…scary… Lucifel: I was so afraid you’d miss the end! You can have the pool room when I’m done here. Tsunade: Damn, I was gonna use it for sake… Kiba: Lolicon? Umm…a convetion for lollipops? Orochimaru: Ooooh, I hope it’s a lollita convention!! Kankuro: -to random kid- who the fuck are you? Larry: I’m the kid that lives solely off chocolate and fraps! So much so that my body liquids have BECOME frappuccino!! Itachi/Gaa: -tackles and begin going vampire all up on himLarry: OH! OWW! Would now be a bad time to mention the rest of my body has become chocolate?

Kurenai: -pulls off a leg and devours-they have completely consumed him within 7.6 secondsSakura: That was… Ino: …I’m gonna barf. Kiba: COOKIES!! C’mon Akamaru! Akamaru: bark! –hell yeahKero: Y’know kid. You and that dog are quite a team. I don’t think you’ll need. I’ll go back and explain the situation to Sakura and them. Catch you later. Kiba: Later…hey! Where’d the cookies go?! Kero: EEHHEHEEHEHEHEHHEHE!!!! Kiba: Damn. NARU-CHAN COULD SO HAVE A LOVER! Naruto is practically a whore when it comes to FF. Anyways Naruchan, who would you like for your lover? And do you want anything else? Say what you want and I shall provide! -Shoots Kisame with a bazooka- Your scaring me and your hitting on Itachi-sama... DIE FISH MAN! So who did take the rings? -Gives Gaara and Itachi some fraps and Dei-Dei-chan some hair ribbonsJune x

Naruto: Err…thanks? And umm…that’s a personal— Zakura: Is it Sakura? Naruto: NO! Lee: GAARA?! Naruto: NO! Itachi: Sasuke!?! Naruto: NOOO!!! Kurenai: -bearing down on him- Hinata?! Naruto: Ahh…-looks around at all the glaring faces and one blushing one- no? Kurenai: good.

Zakura: -glares- Moving on… Naruto: hey wait! I wanna make my request! Itachi: Ok, you know what? The fans always say “Ask for whatever you want and I’ll get it to you…blahblahblah…we’re all whores…wahdewahdewah!” And then? The next chapter? Nothing. No delivery whatsoever. Deidara: that’s true yeah! Wtf is up with that anywhizzle? Sasori: …-sighKisame: -dodges- Joo suck!! MUWAHAHA!! -bazooka explosions knocks him flat on his faceItachi: lol! Kisame: …oww… Kurenai: Yeah, who did take those anyway? Kiba: Take what? Kurenai: those rings. Kiba: Hah? Kurenai: y’know. The wedding rings that got thrown in. Kiba: OH!! OH YEAH!! Kurenai: Heh? Kiba: -scampers over to Shino- Hey! Wanna get hitched? Shino: What? Kiba: Ok, umm…kinda blurted that one out…one sec…-turns around, straightens clothes, smoothes hair then turns back around, pulls out one of the rings and kneels down on one knee- So…you’re…uh…well…you’ve been my best friend for ages and all, and I know we’re kinda young but I mean, we live in a dangerous world so gotta live for the moment right? And well, every moment I spend with you is the best of my life. And…I want that, you know? For like…the rest, of my life…

Shino: …-blinks- I…what… Kiba: Will you marry me? Er…please? Shino: … Kiba: So…could I get, like an answer? My knee’s falling asleep… Shino: … Kiba: Oook…ahem, right…so I don’t suppose there’s any chance of continuing the relationship without this being awk— Shino: -KISSKiba: Humfrgm? Shino: -pulls backKiba: So…is that a… Shino: Oh…Hell yeah. -They kiss some moreEveryone: WHOOOOOOOOOOTTT!!! Akamaru: ARF!! BARK!! ARF!! –YEAH!!! THAT’S MY MAN!!!Hinata: -sobs happinessDeidara: RIBBONS!! –puts up his hairGaa/Ita: -devour fraps-stares at Kyuubi in pure shock- But..I...You...The... DAMN YOU! -sniffles- I hate demon foxes... Unless they're in cute fox bodies...-zaps Kyuu some kind of freaky wand and turns Kyuubi into a cute fox with nine tailsDeidara: What was your and Sasori's relationship like when you first met? Sex? Friends? Lovers? Shikamaru: If you'd get one wish, what would it be? I give Sakura cake and a Sasuke plushie. You must miss him ^^

Kyuubi: Yeah ri— -POOFKyuubi: -is chibi again- WTF?!? WHY is this the only thing I’m not immune to?!

Zakura: Because NO ONE can beat the chibi. Kyuubi: I hate you…all of you… Shikamaru: How long do you have to stay like that? Kyuubi: It didn’t—hey. –changes back- Kick ass. Nice job, kid. Shikamaru: At least someone’s learning… Deidara: Hey Zakura? Zakura: What? Deidara: Well, anywhizzle…can I get a flashback? Zakura: Sure. Why not? FLASHBACK Akatsuki Leader: Deidara, this is going to be your mentor and partner, Sasori. Deidara: He’s…an armadillo yeah? Sasori: I am a master artist. Deidara: An armadillo master artist, yeah? Heh, well, I’m a human artist. I make clay statues— Sasori: Ah, sculpture. Deidara: --and then I blow them up…yeah! Sasori: How is that art? Deidara: You’re an armadillo, yeah. Akatsuki Leader: -shuffles awaySasori: I am not. I’m an artist. Deidara: You don’t even have thumbs. What could you possibly do, yeah? Sasori: I’m a puppet-maker. Deidara: And then you blow them up, yeah?!

Sasori: No. I spend years to finish one puppet, I put my very soul in my work. Of course I wouldn’t blow them up. Deidara: Damn. I thought we were going to have so much in common, you know, besides you being an Armadillo, yeah. Sasori: -sigh- Look, I’m not an armadil— Deidara: Listen, I accept you either way, yeah. I mean, besides the whole bad art thing. Sasori: -siiiiiigh- Alright, look. –opens puppet and steps out- I’m not an armadillo, see? Deidara: …meow. Sasori: what? Deidara: -pounces-after munch making out and eventually…you know…Deidara: so...Not an armadillo, yeah? Sasori: no. Deidara: But you’re ah…not really…flesh…yeah… Sasori: Nope. Deidara: that’s cool. You never get soft then, yeah? Sasori: …you’re a weird one… -END FLASHBACKDeidara: And that’s what happened. Orochimaru: -applaudsItachi: So hot. Kisame: Dude, I that day. Deidara annoyed the shit out of me, strutting around like he was so special just cuz he got boned…wooded…by Sasori.

Sasori: Hey, you enjoyed the pointers when Itachi came along. Kisame: True. kata: hm... now i wonder where the rings went.-gasp- is kabuto-kun going to propose to sakura!? omg! that would be wierd! think of thier dorky children! dont do it kabutokuun! amber: and im so glad you are happy about HTs future death. but it seems im missing my scythe... HT: -is hiding behind a closet covered in garlic- oh yeah,i was going to give you guys a chocolate fountian, but since you cant wait for me to be slaughtered, you cant have it. -dips a cup into the fountian and sips it- and its really good chocolate too... Kabuto: …eww. Of course not! Sakura: -shuddersZakura: Oh please woman. Sakura: that’s gross! Kid’s with Kabuto! Kabuto: Children in general are gross… Orochimaru: The hell they are! Mmmm. Jiraiya: Wtf, dude? Tsunade: -twitchItachi: you mean she’s not dead yet? Dammit… Kurenai: -gasp- HT, honey…you know I love you right? You know I never wanted you to die, right? You wanna give me some chocolate right? Hinata: K-kurenai sensei, you’re scaring me. Pending Lucifel's permission, I have a special treat for you. But you have to work for it... like this! (All men in the room go blind. All women in the room can't move their arms or legs. Demons, figments of imagination and dead people are exempt.) This'll last for... let's say three questions. Also, here's a frap for Gaara (places across the room from Gaara). Good luck.

Lucifel: Ok, Avy, here’s the deal. They’re gonna do the dare— Everyone: THE HELL WE WILL!! Lucifel: And you’re gonna come up with a new treat for each one that does it, k? I’m using you’re idea, but it’s not so much their prize…

Kankuro: this is retarded. Now I can’t ogle Gaara! Gaara: …I don’t know where to glare…I feel lost… Lee: -hugs- …I am hugging Gaara aren’t I? Naruto: …no… Lee: ACK! –jumps awayGaara: must…get…frap…-starts stumbling across the roomItachi: -starts searching tooKyuubi: -takes frapShikamaru/Sakura -- Naruto caught you two talking on the top of a building before Sasuke left. What was that about? Sasori -- you can turn one person, other than Sakura, into a puppet for five minutes. Go ahead and do some damage.

Shikamaru: Ah…that… Ino: Huh? You were talking to forehead-girl? –tries to move over, but flops onto her faceSakura: That’s kind of… Shikamaru: Yeah… Ino: -manages to roll onto her back- WHAT was going on? Sakura: It’s not your business, bitch! Ino: -humphShikamaru: Let’s just say I needed relationship advice. Ino: -gasp- BITCH! Did you have something to do with that?! Sakura: er…what… Ino: Oh, if I could slap you… Gaara: WHERE IS MY FRAP!?!?! –criesLee: -pats back comfortinglyNeji: dude…wtf?

Lee: ACK! –jumps back and trips over Hinata’s legSasori: Oh, definitely Orochimaru. All those strange parts to master… Orochimaru: woot! Sasori: But, it’s not the same, if I don’t do the work— Zakura: -throws Orochimaru into Sasori’s arms- just enjoy it! Sasori: -plays with OroOrochimaru: -gigglesSakura: (gives cookie) having Ino around must be a total pain, hope you feel better! Everyone else: hope your enjoying life as much as you can in there and here. (throws box into the middle of the room) Some clean clothes and food, and a couple movies and games, and a TV if you don't have one. MiniDeath P.S. ( can I have a hug!?)

Sakura: …-stretches for it with neck- I CAN’T GET IT!!!!! Kiba: Where?! Where is it? Kyuubi: -takes it and moves it several more feet awaySakura: You bitch… Kyuubi: heh. Hinata: Ah…I can’t get to it. Naruto: -stumbles around for it- WHERE?!? Sakura: To your left…no, that’s your right…that’s straight…Naruto what the hell!?! Sasori: -makes Orochimaru hug her with his stretchy neck and tongue- Oh, funnnn. poor Shikamaru. I put some clouds in the room to drift about the ceiling. Lee is getting no action in this story so I dare him to kiss Hinata. I throw Wednesday Addams into the room.

Shikamaru: but…but I’m…god…-cries a littleZakura: Man, that sucks. Lee: What?! Well…fine…-kisses-

Kiba: DUDE?! WTF?!? Lee: ACK!! I’m sorry!! Zakura: Ok, enough of that. Good job guys. Shikamaru: -just flops down and stares at the clouds on the ceilingWednesday: Wow, this place is almost…unpleasant. Very nice. Zakura: Sup, girl. Wednesday: I’m content…it’s awful. Lee: So do I have to— Zakura: Just sit down before you hurt yourself. Wednesday: No, stay up. Go ahead. Do something drastic…deadly… Lee: I’m afraid… Gaara: I just have to say, the whole thing with sand-coffin and Ino's face was pretty damn badass. If that doesn't deserve a frap, nothing does (hands Gaara frap). Tsunade: if i correctly, Jiraiya used to make fun of you for bein flat-chested. So...are they real or are they fake? Be honest. Ino is great and so much better than Sakura. (By the way Ino, can I have a hug?) Hell, everyone is better than you...except Oro. I just don't like him. He reminds me of this guy -throws in Micheal JacksonGaara: word. –sipsWednesday: You…work with coffins? Gaara: The deadliest. Wednesday: -small smirk.- Do tell. Gaara: sit. We’ll talk. Tsunade: Look, I’m already in a bad mood. Orochimaru: Yeah, how come? Tsunade: …are you fucking kidding?

Orochimaru: I mean, I know why, but I don’t understand why youn can’t just lean back and let weird shit happen. Tsunade: …-starts to speak, quits, and stalks awayOrochimaru: -shrugs- Oh well. Jiraiya: …yeah… Naruto: Sakura, you know don’t you? Sakura: Even if I did I wouldn’t tell you! That’s Tsunade-sensei’s business! Kurenai: I’m gonna go talk to her…-goes overIno: Yeah! Anyone who understands how awesome I am compared to those guys deserves a hug! –hugsMichael Jackson: Well…hello you little children…how are you today? Naruto: AHH!! PEDOPHILE!! Michael Jackson: no, no, that’s being ignorant! I just love spending time with and getting close to little children! Orochimaru: Yeah you’re a pedophile. It’s cool, so am I! Michael: you…you understand me? Orochimaru: Yeah! Ican even peel off my face too!! Michael: Oh my god…really? Orochimaru: I just look better underneath… MJ: But still! Holy crap! Someone who understands! Someone not so ignorant! Orochimaru: Yes, you’re among friends now! -MJ/Oro hugJiraiya: I’m so sickened… MJ: I have to get back now! The kiddies haven’t been fed in a while! I’ll never forget you!! –goes-

Orochimaru: -sniffles- He’s such a great role model… Jiraiya: -sighs- Oh, darling… Gaara: that book is the deathnote and that person instantly dies and cant come back...EVER Hinata: I LOVE YOU! YOUR SP KAWIAII! -gives a locket that gives her powers over the 4 base elementsKiba: if i say so akamaru dies(even though i took the cards and gave them to sakura) Shikamaru: didnt you notice Lucifiel's shifty eyes and saying sure when you said the bomb was removed? Undinedemon

Gaara: Oh…-throws book awayLee: -hugglesHinata: Oh wow…thank you!! –looks at locket- Teehee! –makes some flowers growZakura: Oh…SO CUTE!! –diesKiba: no. He doesn’t. Shikamaru: Whatever…figures I’d be stupid like that. Lucifel: Umm, the shifty eyes were about the way it was done, the bomb is out either way. Besides, you forget my no-death rule. You’re kind of screwed. Zakura: You know what? Screw it, I’m tired of depressed Shikamaru. Choji, get your fat ass in here. Choji: Eh? What? –in the middle of responding to Shika on letter- SHIKA!!!! Shikamaru: …Choji? Choji: Shika! Shikamaru: CHOJI!!! –runs to him and hugs him- OH MY GOD I’M SO MISERABLE!!! Choji: -hugs back tightly- Hey, it’s cool now. Kurenai: -meanwhile- So, Tsu, what’s wrong? Tsunade: Uh, maybe the fact that Jiraiya is now “going steady” with the stretchy wonder… Kurenai: yes, I know, but…this place… Tsunade: It’s just that—I—god this embarrassing…never mind.

Kurenai: No, tell me. You have to get it out. Tsunade: I always thought…that Jiraiya and I would…I don’t know, get married or something…someday. Kurenai: oh. Tsunade: yeah…I guess I was just kidding myself. Heh…do you know why he got chased in here to begin with? Kurenai: …why? Tsunade: I read the latest manuscript of one of his books and…I was in there. Kurenai: Oh. Damn… Tsunade: Honestly? I was flattered…but of course I couldn’t say that. So I chased him and tried to kill him. –laughsKurenai: yeah. Tsunade: I’ll be ok. In fact, I’ll forget all about this and go back to my foolish assumptions…I was never for him. He’s probably not right for me either… Kurenai: you’re too independent. No man can really be good enough for you. Tsunade: Yeah. It’s not like I need a man…I just sort of wanted him. Kurenai: I understand. But hey, considering that everything here has basically no consequences you may as well enjoy what’s left, huh? Tsunade: yeah. I guess so…thanks. –hugs Kurenai, gets upIno: Have you ever considered...experimenting...with Sakura or are you a completely straight whore

Ino: Eww. Men only, thank you. Kiba: then what’re you getting up on Kabuto for? Naruto: Oh snap! –high fivesGaara: So, you got all that Day? Wednesday: Indeed. This knowledge will prove…entertaining at the next family reunion. It’s been a drag…I hope I see you again.

-stalks away with snaps of lightningOne of My BigAzz Dares to Everbody!: I dare, and by dare I mean order, you all to... PLAY 7 MINUTES IN HEAVEN! (MUAHAHAAHA!)

Zakura: ohh, too bad we only have enough time for one round. So, everyone draws straws and whoever gets the two shorts one…play the game. -closet appearsKyuubi: -walks up, grabs the handful of straws, disintegrates them, and pulls Yondaime into the closetZakura: well, I guess that’s that… Naruto: …dad?

Ask Sakura 52 6 Lucifel: …I’m late…for a very important date. Sorry guys, I was gonna write on Sunday but as I got no sleep (for good reason) Saturday, I fell asleep before I could…my apologies! Anyway…823 reviews now! I need waaaaaay more. Thanks to the people giving reviews! Kick ass!

Kyuubi: -saunters out of closet- Well, I had a nice break. Yondaime: -stumbles out behind him and slumps in a cornerNaruto: -horror-Shikamaru is still hugging ChojiChoji: you…uh…wanna go talk man? Shikamaru: -nods and pulls him to a corner.Sakura: use the goddamn cards i gave you Hinata: use the other elements Gaara: i give you a frap that never empties Kurenai: a chocolate bar that regenerates Throws in my cat(only the sane and innocent ppl can touch my cat) Undinedemon Sakura: You gave--? Kiba: Nope, still got ‘em. Lucifel: People need to read my rules…you can’t just take things from people unless you gave the thing to them…-sighHinata: Oh…okay…-makes a fountain appear- Heehee. –smileHaku: Kya! You could make a whole little world! Hinata: -gasp- YEAH! Haku: Lemme help! Hinata: Ok!! Gaa/Kure: -stare for a long bit, start drooling and finally charge in and begin devouringItachi: Can I have a si— Gaara: -HISSItachi: Oook… Cat: Meow? –tilts head and rubs up against Hinata’s shoulder-

Kyuubi: -reads about cat- I take that as a challenge. –punts cat out the windowCat: MEEEOOOOoooowwwww...-banishes over the horizonKyuubi: Well, look at that. I win. Hinata: -shockHaku: That’s so mean! Zabuza: Yeah! What’s your problem? Kyuubi: …come one Zabuza…you know that was funny. Haku: -is distracted by making pretty flowers againZabuza: Yeah… Kyuubi: I thought so. A.H.S: Well...Since you did cut the skank's hair...-Hands Kurenai a box of never ending liqoured chocolates.- Anyhow... -Randomly licks Zakura, handing over twenty bucks and a new whipSakura!! I heard rumors that you migh be a jinchuuriki!! And Zakura ish your biju! That true?! Kurenai: I…I…I’m in heaven!!!! –cries happyGaara: -sips away merrilyLee: so precious! My darling Gaara! –hugsGaara: -happy, happyZakura: Sweet…like I care if I get licked? I get money and a whip too, kickass! –whips DeidaraDeidara: OH! Meow…yeah… Sakura: …no… Tsunade: -slaps foreheadZakura: I’m way more kick ass than any old jin—

Kyuubi: -glaresZakura: chuuriki…BESIDES Kyuubi! Kyuubi: Fair enough…-smacks head gently and walks over to Yondaime where he sprawls sexily over some used crates. Don’t ask where they came from. I figure the old frap crates came back…Yondaime: -scoots away…seems to rethink and scoots back inKyuubi: Yeah, you’re my bitch now. Yondaime: Am not! You’re just…a really good kisser…oh fuck this!! NO!!! –storms off to his ramen standNaruto: -s himKyuubi and Yondaime... for real? Woah, Lucifel-chan you really do like strange pairings. Gaara and Kiba: Which person in the room would you most like to see tortured? -Gives Shino and Kiba a big ass cake- CONGRATULATIONS! -Gives Deidara some puppet aphrosodiacJune x Lucifel: Oh honey, you don’t know the half of it. –winkSakura: You’re weird… Lucifel: Am not. Sakura: … Lucifel: Ok, maybe. Kiba/Gaa: -look at each for a minute- Ino. Ino: WHAT!? Why?! Gaara: You’re a skank. Kiba: You’re stuck-up. Kabuto: Hey now.., Ino: Oh! How could you be so mean!? –falls against Kabuto’s shoulder-

Sakura: thanks guys… Kiba: Hey you—OMG CAKE!!! –dives into itShino: -rolls eyes and takes a pieceDeidara: Sassy, will this really work, yeah? Sasori: No. Deidara: Oh…I’ll try anywhizzle, yeah! Sasori: Wait wha— Deidara: -jams it down throatSasori: I told you it wouldn’t—oh….shit… Deidara: Are you super horny now, yeah?! Sasori: Yes. Deidara: -hopefulSasori: But I have self-control. Deidara: Oh…-disappointmentZakura: OMG!!!!! Sakura: What? Zakura: We still have potions left over! I just ed that! Hey! Everyone who knows what all the potions do what get your asses over here and huddle! Kyuubi: No. Zakura: Well then fuck you. Kyuubi: you wish. -In the huddleDeidara: What is it, yeah? Zakura: We still have four potions…two brown, two red…we need them distributed now.

Kiba: Fuck no, Not me again… Zakura: I’m not gonna— Jiraiya: Can Oro PLEASE have boobs again?! Zakura: …anyone else have a better idea? Naruto: Yes! Zakura: well, fine you can have one brown. Anyone object to giving Oro the other one? Jira/Oro: NO! Zakura: fine then… Sakura: what about the reds? Zakura: All right umm…Deidara, you take one. NOT for use on Sasori, and I’ll use the last one. Sakura: Hey what about— Zakura: and we’re done! Break! Oh, damn, I forgot to review last chapter! My deepest apoligies! *Bows to his wife, then cuddles her* Kabuto: Let's see...Oh, I know. First, I take away all your abilities, for about 5 hours. Then, I dare you to make out with Ino. Then, I dare you to kiss Sakura. Kyuubi: I've decided that you deserve to be worshipped by a great number of people, so, I started a started a shrine in your honor. In Konoha. Lots of people ed. Choji: Dude! Welcome to the horrible room of doom! *Hands him the mega super bag of chips of infinite holding* P.S. *Tosses in Superman. Just -cause-* Lucifel: yay. –cuddles backKabuto: oh fuck you. I’m so sick of you! Orochimaru: Now, you never use your abilities anyway so— Ino: -glomps and starts the making outSakura: -appalled-

-after a long, awkward timeIno: Wow…that was great. Neji: Fuck you! I can whore myself just as much. Kabuto: please n— Neji: -makes out with KabutoKiba: That’s it! You show her!!! Sakura: NEJI YOU WHORE!! EVEN YOU?! Neji: -pulling away- Sorry, got carried away…I forgot he was yours… Sakura: He’s not— Kabuto: -kissesSakura: -slapsKabuto: I HAD TO! Sakura: …fuck you…-stalks awayKabuto: -sighKyuubi: Reeeeally? How nice. Yondaime: I’m so ashamed… Naruto: You’ll love this, one sec. –walksby Kyuubi with steaming cup of teaKyuubi: gimme that, brat. –downs tea- Ugh, what kind of— -POOF-Kyuubi is become womanKyuubi: …What…the…fuck. Naruto: Oh yeah…that was gender-changing-potion-infused tea. I was gonna give to Zakura but gee…you just HAD to take it. Sakura: Wow…Naruto was actually strategic…how…surprising…

Kyuubi: I…HATE…you…-is shaking with anger- I can’t…I don’t…URAGHH!!! I WANT TO BE CHANGED BACK NOWWWW!!!!!!!!!! Zakura: Well, too bad. You’ll have to find an antidote like everyone else. Kyuubi: -is brokenYondaime: glomps Naruto- That’s my boy! Naruto: Fuck yeah! Choji: Wha-huh? Who? Shikamaru: it’s just a fan… Choji; Well, cool. –chows downShikamaru: -curls up against him and napsSuperman: I’m here now citizens! How may I help? Itachi: -gasp- You should try some incest! It totally has superpowers! Deidara: Check it out! Hands on my palms! Sasori: listen, hero-boy, I’m more evil and insane than you’d ever imagine…so back the fuck out. Haku: GUESS MY GENDER!! Superman: Obviously you’re a little girl. Haku: No. I’m a sixteen-year-old boy. That man over there is my lover. Superman: …even I can’t help this place…I’m leaving before I become poisoned by it… Lee: YOUR OUTFIT IS SUPER YOUTHFUL!! IT ROCKS MY SOCKS!!! Naruto: You wear leg-warmers… Lee: -shrugs- They’re like youthful socks. Superman: -leavesGaara: -has overdosed and lies in a sugar-induced stupor-

Kiba...Shino... Congratulations I think you all deserve some music -sets FIVE (the old boy band) playing continuouslyAlso Choji can have my 1/2 pence coin for being able to go all Butterfly on us! Whats the first thing you'll do when you get outta here? Anyone can answer. Enjoy your final days -x- He-Yan Kiba: FUCK YEAH!! Shino: Thanks. Zakura: Oh god…WHY?! Kyuubi! Do something! Kyuubi: -still brokenZakura: …damn my sadism… Choji: …ok? This awesome! I just keep getting gifts! Kiba: it’s not fair! He came in late! Choji: Oh please. You always got it better than me. Kiba: Yeah, cuz I have a sexy boyfriend. –kisses ShinoChoji: -smiles, sighs, and looks down at snoozing ShikaOrochimaru: FUCK SASUKE!! Itachi: NO!! ME FIRST!!!! Jiraiya –sigh- I’m writing more of my new story… Kabuto: -facepalmKimimaro: …I don’t really have a choice do I? Gaara: -snaps out of stupor, puts an arm around Kimi and they have momentNaruto: I’m gonna go to Ichiraku!! Yondaime: -sad smileMASSIVE GIFTAGE TIME! Naruto: A jacuzzi... filled with RAMEN! Sakura: A Sasuke-face pillow... that smells like Sasuke! (why did I have that?)

Shikamaru: a more comfortable spot to sit/lie down, with good cloud-watching view! Ino: A magic spotlight that follows you around! Hinata: A talking Naruto plushie! With real duplicating action, so you can surround yourself with them (for better or for worse)! Shino: a big crate of rare tropical praying mantises... and I ed to poke air holes! Lee: A compact gymnasium room for all to use (although I'm sure you're the one who'll like it most)! You've had nowhere to train since the fic started! Neji: a golden 'Champion Whore' belt for your trophy case! It's one belt that DOESN'T hold your pants up! Gaara: A frap, no, two dozen, no... a HUNDRED FRAPS! Kankuro: (takes Kuroari, fills with assorted muffins and hands back) Kurenai: a full-scale replica of your fave spot in Konoha... MADE OF CHOCOLATE! Tsunade: A slot machine... that pays out in completed paperwork! Just put in 'to fill out' instead of coins, and... Jiraiya: KY Jelly... with antivenom! I thought this'd be useful. Orochimaru: Your gift is... Elian Gonzales. Kabuto: A shield... and it's fangirl-proof and reinforced with loopholes! No more head trauma for you! (shin-kicks Kabuto) Itachi: Uh... ONE HUNDRED MORE FRAPS! Kisame: Here's a sandwich. Deidara: Not sure if you're dead, but... here's your body weight in nice clay that moves and changes colors on your whim! You can make exploding chinchillas that look and act like real ones! Or whatever! Sasori: If you're alive, you get... Puppet Third Hokage! Hope these gifts are fine, Lucifel! Everyone: Oh. My. God. Lucifel: Yeah…this is from Avatarjk for the challenge he set up… -STAMPEDE TO THE PRESENTSIt was a very merry time. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed and abused their presents. Gaara had to take and hide Kankuro’s muffin leaving him in a desperate search, and Gaara promptly went into overload trying to beat Itachi in a race to drink all their fraps first. People tried to figure out who the fuck Elian Gonzales was for a bit before throwing him out the window. They spread out in the gymnasium just to chill and shoot some youthful hoops. Naruto almost had an orgasm of happiness and promptly drained his Jacuzzi and went to sleep in it. Ino, hamming it up in the spotlight all the while, stole Sakura’s pillow, and then used it to nap in kabuto’s lap. Shikamaru woke up for a second a moved to the gift-spot where he continued dozing and Choji ed him.

Kurenai ODed on chocolate is currently a quivering mass on the floor. And that’s what happened with that. Er...Hi! Look, I know I haven't reviewed for like...13 chapters but I'm back now! And I've been reading every chapter too! But, see, I'm sort of sickened. Seriously though, lu-chan, you let INO in here? Gosh, I let the Mary-Sue thing go, but this? Not so sure. Moving on, Gifties! Deidara-san: Er...Fireworks, gunpowder, glitter and, um...a circus? Neji-san: You get a harem, and high-quality hair-products. Haku-san: You get a white bunny. A REAL one. Zabuza-san: Uh...The Saw series? Kiba-kun: Five ginormous, dog/bug friendly wedding cakes. Jiraiya-san: *pfft*...Sarutobi-sama. Kyuubi-kun: Um, Kin told me that she enjoyed your little 'play-date', so can she come over again? She said she'll bring her own toys! Sakura-chan: You know what? You deserve better that a skank for an ex-bestfriend and an idiot with no taste. I give you a potion that will erase your memories of them, if you'd like. Kabuto-baka: A punch to the face. Maybe that'll wake you up, jerkwad. (No hugs for you!) ...Oh, I almost forgot! Lu-chan never reviewed that one-shot I posted! Anyways, Sincerely to most of you, Kryah (who still writes 'Jesus CHRIST that’s a long letter' reviews) Sakura: what the hell? Two massive reviews in a row!? Lucifel: I only left in the good ones…but it’s KRYAH. I’ve gotta let her have some leway. No one get any ideas ok? –glaresKiba: More importantly, WHY are you complaining? These last gifts have been KICKASS!! Lucifel: Anyway, ino’s here for a specific reason. I think you’ll like it in the end. –smileDeidara: -slips red potion down Yondaime’s throat…yeah, he can do thatYondaime: -hack, cough- WTF?! –spots Kyuubi- Oh…shit.. Kyuubi: -still broken, can not think about ninetails…So, yeah…Haku cuddled his bunny like the adorable kid he is. Zabuza spent a few hours just staring at and stroking the saw movies lovingly. Deidara made lotsa explosions, giving people headaches he was promptly ready to blow away…teeheehee…

There was more cake. And they were happy. Kabuto: OW!! WTF?! Sakura: -snicker- yessss. Ino: What’s to wake up from? –sprawls on his lapSarutobi: Wtf is this place? Jira/Tsu: SENSEI!!!! Orochimaru: Old man! I thought I killed joo! Yondaime: …hey… Sarutobi: -stares in shock at the whole place- So…can I leave now? Yondaime: No one would blame you. Sarutobi: -scoots away slowlyamber: ya know what i just realized, i have a chocolate fountian in the sloset! kata: omg! go get it! i wanna invite my emo friends so we can all get naked in it!! amber: ... you are so wierd. kata: -hiss- get it! amber: be right back! kata: anyway, i need to see who the cutest couple is in that room. so can we have a vote? i wanna see what everyone thinks! Kurenai: -shaking- must…get…fountain… Tsunade: eat a salad… Kurenai: HISSSS!! NOO!!! Tsunade: -slaps foreheadYondaime: -looks blushingly over at Kyuubi- y’know…you look a little better as a woman…do you still kiss as good? Kyuubi: -stunned out of broken- I—no. Yondaime: Huh?

Kyuubi: I will NOT make out while in this body…fuck it. I’m going to another fic to change back. –points threateningly at Yondaime- You better still be in this fucked-up mood when I return. Yondaime: umm…k? Naruto: WTF? Deidara: yay. –smileZakura: Does anyone even dispute Haku and Zabuza? Orochimaru: Well there is lee and Gaara… Zakura: fuck it We’re not doing this. Haku: awww. Zabuza: Let’s do it! Zakrua: no. sit down. Zabuza: -grumblesDanie: Oh... we can have the pool room again? Anjiru: Thanks Lucifel-chan! -runs to the pool roomDanie: Anyway, we're planning on going on a Lolicon themed party and we wanted to bring one of the people in here. Anjiru: But seeing as no one can leave until the last chappie... Danie: ...we guess the Loli themed party will have to go here! Anjiru: Unless Lucifel-chan has any objections? Anyway again, so what Ita-kun? What's wrong with old fans coming back? Danie: It's like you aren't happy to see us... -throws in a big box of cookies... againAnjiru: No... they aren't spiked with anything. Danie: Except Vodka. Anjiru: Well, toodles. -Danie and AnjiruLucifel: ah, sorry girls. Only I can make the themes. Good idea though! Maybe you should write it! If not, send some invites, I’m sure a lot of these guys will stop by on their way out. Itachi: -snort- Yeah the fuck right. And I’m not.

Neji: yeah…these girls were a little…scary. Lucifel: well, I luv ya girls. Enjoy the pool room! Tsunade; …they made cookies…with Vodka? Orochimaru: Yeah, it’s possible. Tsunade: Fuck it, I’m not disputing or being upset by it. I’m just fucking excited! –divesKurenai: chocolate…chips? Hinata: No, you should really rest. –worriedTsunade: why is it that every time something angers you you have to resort to violence? is it just in your barbaric nature or a very bad habit? Kiba and Shino: congradulations guys! may your marrage be beautiful and sweet! may i attend the wedding? i promise to not cause havock! MiniDeath (P.S. : happy thanks giving everyone! (hands out pieces of pumkin pie to everyone)) Tsunade: Eh, solving things with words and emotions sometimes you screw up and don’t express what you mean…punching someone is pretty fucking clear. Lucifel: Fuck yeah… Jiraiya: -whimperOrochimaru: Well, think about it…were you ever confused about how she was feeling? Jiraiya: No, she was always very clearly pissed. Orochimaru: Then the woman has a point. Tsunade: -snortShino: Sorry…we’re not gonna rush right into it. Kiba: …uh…yeah. Of course not…-thinks- whoops… Everyone: PIES!!!!!! Zakura: -spikes a certain piece with red potionUmm, and yeah. I was wondering why Sai hasn't been thrown in there and I want to throw him so -throws Sai in-

Also: If I were to throw a couple sets of handcuffs in there, how many of you would use it for perverted crap? BE truthful! Ino: oh…I don’t feel so good… Sai: Well, hello everyone. Sakura: Hi? Who the fuck are you? Sai: …you seem younger… Zakura: She is. By about one story line. She’ll meet you after she get sout of here. Sai: I see…so, Naruto’s doesn’t know yet how very small his penis is? Because I expect before I informed him he hd the delusion of being average… Naruto: Oo…YOU FUCKER!! Orochimaru: I hope he’s the FuckEE. Sai: …well… Orochimaru: Oh yeah, baby. Sai: So, do I have to stay here? Zakura: Not really…unless you want pie. Sai: I can stay a bit. Ino: Seriously…I’m sick… Choji: Holy shit! Ino: What? Choji: You’re face! –burst out laughingEveryone: -looks and has the same reactionIno: Wtf? –looks in mirror- NOOO!! -Her face is puffy and red and her eyes are gooeyWTF?!?! Zakura: Damn…looks like a potion allergy… Ino: NO! NONONONO!! –tries to hide but spotlight follows her-

Kabuto: now, now, it’s not that bad. I’ll make it better…-tries ot heal…nothing happensWtf? Orochimaru: Well, so much for not needing your powers… Zakura: Damn, what perfect timing. Ino: -sobsZakura: Anyway, show of hands? Oro/Ita/Dei/Sas/Sai/Kiba/Gaa/Jira/Cho/Kure/Tsu/Nej/Ino/Zak/Zabu/Kan/Kabu: -raise handsZakura: Two-thirds…why am I not surprised? Hinata: Oh my. Haku: Wait, does having them used on you count? Zakura: Yeah. Haku: Oh. –raises handChouji: CHOUJI!! -huggle- YAY, the big guy's here! -hands over cake- ARE YOU GAY?!?! Ino: What were you thinking when Sakura got in the same team with Sasuke? ...I'LL MISS YOU ALL WHEN THIS THING IS OVER! -grabs everyone into a bonecrushing group hug and wails in misery- -smooches Itachi/Deidara/Shikamaru/Orochimaru, but gives Yondi a small peck on the cheekAnd Lucifel, you're a genius for coming up with this!! So I'll give you internet cake! Bye again! Lucifel: I has cake. Choji: Damn, I want some…this bag of chips kicks ass though…and umm…well… yeah…it seems like more people than I realized I are as well… Kiba: Fuck yeah. –smooches ShinoItachi: I wont miss any fans. Deidara: you’re too mean ye—

Suddenly, there was a crash and something jumped through a momentarily-appearing window. He swooped down and gathered Deidara in his arms and when he was able to be seen he was so much like Sasori, and SO bishie that only a fangirl could have made him. Sasori: Daimos. Daimos: Father. Naruto: You’re a puppet…how do you knock someone up? Sasori: I’m thorough. Daimos: I bet your regretting it now. Sasori: No. Daimos: And why not? Sasori: Two reasons…-walks up- One. –kisses Daimos ionately making him drop Deidara- You’re fucking hot. Two. –stabs Daimos- You’ll make a brilliant puppet. Me version 2.0. Deidara: -gapesDaimos: wtf? Sasori: -smirksDaimos: Father, I’m disappointed. Did you think I was so unlike you? –rips off cloak to reveal a strange working of wood, metal, chakra, and flesh.- I’m mostly inhuman already…but better. Your issue was not leaving enough humanity. I have left it. Your little prick does nothing. Sasori: Ah. And the kiss? Daimos: -pounces and pins him to the floor and they…uh…yeahDeidara: -watches in horny shockOrochimaru: WHOOO!! Itachi: YES! Father/Son INCEST!!! Everyone else: EWWWW!!!! Ino: Anger…and…umm…dude I can’t look away…

Itachi: Isn’t it great? Jiraiya: This is way better puppet sex than “Team America” Eventually Sasori and Daimos are done. Daimos: -ahem- Now, Deidara. Deidara: Yeah? Daimos: I did come here is to get you…that was an unexpected detour… Deidara: I’m yours yeah!! –pouncesJiraiya: YESS!! Kiba no what about me? Why are you leaving me for Shino? (cries) Haku you are so cute ah I love you! (huggles)You too Zabuzabu (more huggles) Chojichojichojichojichojichojichojichojichoujichojichouji hi SQUEE Shikashika it will be alright. Smile and be happy dancing in the clouds with fairies and unicorns :) Sasori and Deidara my art is way better than yours lol lets hang out ITACHI KISAME ITACHI KISAME ITACHI KISAME neither of you are good enough for each other. That is a compliment ya know :D Itachi: why does she say every name like…a million times? Kiba: Because...wait, what about you? Shino: Fuck you bitch. He’s mine. Choji: I’m afraid. Naruto: Are there any questions? Sakura: In the beginning. Naruto: Does that mean we can move on now? Deidara: Hey! My art rocks! Sasori: You insult our art and then ask us to hang out? Daimos: Ahem, Dei? Attention here. –gives hickey-

Deidara: Oooh, yes sir. Ceyx: I'm sorry I was gone so Long. I really have no excuse. That being said...it'a all Ashlynn's fault. Ash: Oh you are so dead! you and your little cat too. Ceyx: if you refer to my gf as a cat one more time I'll send you to Mom's place for Christmas. Anyway, I have a couple of umm personal questions... Ash: Same here. Like, why haven't you made a hinata/kurenai lemon yet? Ceyx: Geez and I was just gonna ask what her thoughts were on Naruhina but oh well. here's the situation: I haven't kissed my gf yet, and she seems to lack a libido. However when presented with a Sasuke poster she proceeds to makeout with it. My question is "How do I get her to kiss me like that?" Lucifel: CEYX!!!!!! Sakura: what about sex? Lucifel: no, my son you whore. Sakura: Oh whatever. Kiba: HELL YEAH NARUHINA!! Yondaime: -nodsNaru/Hina: -BLUSHKurenai: EW! No! She’s my student! Nonononono…do I have anymore chocolate? Tsu/Hina: -hide chocolate- No. Orochimaru: Obviously some Sasuke Cosplay is in order. Itachi: who WOULDN’T hit that? Naru/Lee/Kiba: -raise handsItachi: you guys don’t count. Tsunade: Honestly? Just show you care and respect…but you DO want her. She’ll warm up soon enough. If not, be blunt. That’s always good. Sai: I agree. Which is why I’m curious as to why you pretend your chest is real. Tsunade: I am SO gonna kill you.

Sai: Nah, I’m done with my pie. Toodles. –hops offNaruto: Gaaaaay. Ok Sakura, please listen very carefuly... SasuGAY is a gay ass emo! He does not like you or anyone else but himself. He is an egotistical teme-baka with nothing better to do then prance around his room in a dress when noone looks. He is not brave, strong, cool, hot or anything else! He is a snively little wimp and without the curse mark and sharingan, he would be POWERLESS! He is not worth your time whatsoever. You are a nice girl and deserve way better ok? (GO OUT WITH KABUTO) Stop fawning over someone who is to self conceded to even notice you!. Down to business now, peeblas (gives Gaara and Itachi tons of fraps) Anyway, do u guys think it would be ok to stick a firecracker in someones shirt? Cuz I was thinking about it and...(cough) I brought BROWNIES! Oh yeah, Rainas out of her emo box and moved to the emo corner! I tried to talk to her yesterday and she fuckin bit me! Sakura: Why wasn’t that rant edited out? Zakura: It was a better one than we’ve had of late…sort of…really just to grind your gears, Ino: Ok, listen. EVERY ninja wouldn’t be as strong without their special techniques! You can’t use that as an excuse! Without his style Neji wouldn’t be as tough! With bugs or dogs Kiba and Shino would SUCK! Kiba/Shin: HEY! Shikamaru: I hate to say it, but she has a point… Gaara: That make my Lee the bets ninja ever. It’s all his own effort. –kissLee: -smileEveryone: BROWNIES!! Kurenai: Brownies? Chocolate…need… Hinata: no! Kurenai-sensei! Deidara: Of course it’s ok! It’s ART!! Sasori: -facepalm-

Daimos: Ahhh…well, that’s all I needed really. Father, you and I will face off again. – swirls offSasori: -nails him it the head with a shuriken and he falls dead- Or like, now. And you looe. Deidara: Awww…oh! Hey! Nice! Itachi: Wow…emo kids are weird when they’re not my sexy little brother… Deidara: emo-corner, hehe, yeah… Jiraiya: You gonna use that potion Oro? Orochimaru: I’m saving it…meow. Jiraiya: mmm, fair enough. –kissTsunade: -gagsKyuubi: BACK AND MASCULINE BITCHES!!! Yondaime: -thinks- DAMMIT! Why is he still hot?! Lucifel: All righty! Next chapter will be semi-serious. I mean, still totally full of humor, but the theme will be rather plot-like. I hope you enjoy. We’ve only got five left! I can’t believe it!! Also, I hate to do this…but I have a cheating tactic to propose. In order to get my 1,000 reviews, if there are any chapters you haven’t reviewed, separate the review you plan to give into different parts and submit them as separate reviews for those chapters, k? alright, help me cheat to win!! HURRAH!!

Ask Sakura 53 5 Lucifel: Well…that worked. One chapter later I rocketed from 823 to 900. NINE FREAKING HUNDRED. I love you all SO MUCH. Seriously, I can not believe…I mean…several people split their review into two or three, but a few of you went full-out,

giving me ten plus reviews. Thank you. I know it’s not really legit, but I mean come on, this is freaking Ask Sakura! Please continue to split your reviews. I need about 25 reviews per chapter now so don’t hold back! I’m late this week for several personal reasons. Mostly finals. Next week will probably be late too, but the last three will be right on target! I hope. Anyway, yeah. Several things attributed to being late, and I’m sprry that it’s a full two days. But it couldn’t be helped… Ok, so. This week is a semi-serious affair. Only…not really, maybe, sort of. It’s my big challenge as far as writing this fic. A massive wave of fog rolls over the scene and suddenly each character is in their own little world. Each character’s world portrays a world where they are completely and totally happy. They know where they previously were, the question is if they care. They live in the world as if they always had, using whatever advantages come with automatically. Whoever’s name is in bold is the person who’s special world it is. The only thing is they’re still answering questions. Zakura: And I’m just chillin in the room. Haku: Us too. Zakura: …wtf? Zabuza: What? We’re happy. Haku: -smiles and leans against Zabuza lovinglyZakura: …holy shit. That’s extreme. So cute I think I need to go kick a bunny to get the taste out of my mouth. >:D Bwahahahahahaha!...Sakura-Sampi omfg! o_O Your the coolist of them all! And so are you Zaku! Ok! Sakura and Kabuto siting in a tree K-i-s-s-i-n-g *give's zakura-chan and sakura-sampi and oro-sama and kabuto-kun a cookie.* Well…gives every one a cookie but only zakura and sakura and oro and kabuto two chocolet chip cookies.* ^^ Injoy! :D Sakura: -is sitting in a sunny study full of medical and jutsu scrolls. On the desk is a photo of her, Sasuke and two kids that are a weird cross of them both- Hmm? Oh, thank you. …and no. As you can see I’m now happily married to Sasuke-kun! Sasuke: -sticks his head in- Darling, take a break from work and come cuddle with me before the kids get home.

Sakura: Ok! And I’ve got cookies for them and everything! Sasuke: You’re such a good wife. –kissesSakura: -sighs happily~ Kabuto: -is chillin’ in a laboratory, working his creepy skillz while Orochimaru lingers nearby- Um, thank you? Orochimaru: Good job lately Kabuto. I’m very impressed. Kabuto: Ah, thank you Orochimaru-sama. Orochimaru: Of course, you are my favorite after all. –kisses~ -elsewhere-Orochimaru is sitting on a huge, snakey throne with attendants everywhere and Jiraiya sitting beside him stroking his arm and kissing him oftenKabuto as Servant: A cookie for you, Orochimaru-sama. Orochimaru: -sigh- Yes, another tribute to my greatness. How marvelous to rule the world. Jiraiya: you rule my world Orochimaru: You’re too sweet. –smooch~ Zakura: -eats cookieFather... Son... -is shocked- wow... The pairings get even stranger, maybe you'll have a KyuuYonNaru threesome next... -throws in an army of penguins armed with sporksHmm, Ino does anyone actually like you? and why is it you have no pupils? -gives Deidara an album of Sasori in sexual positions- Puppets are ever so easy to pose!! June x Lucifel: That’s the plan. ^_^

Naruto: WHAT?! Lucifel: not really. Naruto: oh, ok! –dives back into his endless ramen poolYondaime: -yeah, this is his ideal world to- Son! Stop eating and come let me teach my secret jutsu! Kushina: And afterwards I’ll make us a family dinner…of ramen! Naruto: You guys are the bets parents ever! -family huggingSasuke: -ing by- Hey Naruto! Want to go train after dinner? Naruto: Hell yeah! My Dad’s teaching me a new technique! I’ll kick your ass with it! Sasuke: Yeah, good luck! See you after dinner! Naruto: See ya! ~ Zabuza: Penguins…and sporks? Damn. Haku, do you mind? Haku: not at all, go ahead darling. Zabuza: It’s KILLING time!! –rips into them and begind maniacally destroyed each and every oneZakura: So glad you two stuck around. –rolls eyes~ Ino is in a luxurious room full of sexy man attendants all doting on her to no end while Sakura, totally chubby and ugly-fied walks around cleaning up Ino: Obviously! I’m fucking princess of the world! I get what I want, when I want and everyone enjoys giving it! Sakura: Absolutely Ino-sama. Ino: Buwahahahahah!!!

~ Deidara: -in a huge studio full of all the makings of explosives and such- Why…this should be interesting. I’ll have to have Sasori-chan re-enact these for me, yeah. Sasori: -over his shoulder- Absolutely. After all, we do make the best art…together. Deidara: Mmm, meow. ~ Haku: My, everyone has some kind of romantic need…that’s a little sad. Zabuza: BUWAHAHAHAHAMUWAHAHAHAHA!!!! –cuts a penguin in halfHaku: Sometimes I wonder HOW I stay so happy. Zabuza: That’s 1,000 so far!! –gathers Haku up and kisses ionatelyHaku: Oh yeah…teehee. whats wrong with weird pairings o.o i got a gaaraxtsunade planned for the future, yeah. I have one question, back like a long time ago, there was a whore-off between neji and itachi and orochimaru, who won? And i dare Ino and Neji to have a whore off, yeah. Gaara: -cough violently- Me and WHO?! Gaara’s Mom: Calm down darling. You have too much business as Kazekage to worry about some fangirl’s imagination. Especially if you want time with that boyfriend of yours. Gaara: …yes, Mom. Yashamaru: Gaara-chan, don’t forget your meeting this afternoon. Gaara: -nods~ Tsunade: -sitting in the head chair of a gambling house, beating out all challengersWho’s next?? –reads letter- Eww, no. I’m happily married, thanks. Jiraiya: Who’s happy?

Tsunade: Shut up you. And get me some sake. Jiraiya: -rolls eyes- yeah, yeah… ~ Neji: Obviously I won. I am head of the main branch, I win EVERYthing. Hisashi: Yes, Neji-sama… Neji: And, being the boss of this family, I’m the best. ~ Ino: Obviously I’m the better whore. Look at my freaking harem! And sakura agrees, don’t you? Sakura: Yes, great one. Ino: Will you send for my first husband little bitch? Sakura: Sasuke-sama! My lady requests your presence! Sasuke: -struts in wearing just a silk robe- Yes, mistress. Ino: I need a massage… Sasuke: Right away. –gets to it~ Itachi: -hanging out in the Uchiha main room, curled up on the couch with his best friend, Sasuke and his family talking happily and doing family stuff with some uncles and aunts.- Oh, Neji all the way. He makes up for in talent with sheer experience, heh… Best friend: Hey, who’s this now? Itachi: Nobody special…unlike you. –kissBest Friend: Better not be. Sasuke: nii-san! Will you train with me tomorrow? Itachi: …yeah… My. Uchiha: Itachi, son, is that boyfriend of yours staying over tonight?

Itachi: Are you? BF: -shurgs- You want me to? Itachi: …yeah. BF: Then yeah. Mrs. Uchiha: Then tell your parents. We don’t’ want them worrying. Oh, and Itachi I picked you up some nail polish while I was out. Itachi: Sweet! BF: Gaaaaay. Itachi: -kisses- and you’re not? Bf: -smriksSasuke: -gagsItachi: -kicksAfter the cuddleing, he makes sweet, ionate love. 'Cause she's hotter then all of you, and he loves her so. Kabuto: *Covers him in rabid fire ants. Of doom!* Kyuubi: Hm. Chuck Norris beat you up too, just like Yondi. You like -him- now? Ino: Well! Gaara and Kiba wished for your torture, so...it shall be! *Makes her looks -excatly- like what she thinks Sakura is -really- like* P.S. *Tosses in those folks from Kingdom Hearts, to be -random-* Lucifel: Soooo awesome. Zakura: god, get a PM. Lucifel: Maybe we already do? –wiggles eyebrows~ Kabuto: WTF?! Orochimaru: -instantly destroys them- You all right love? Kabuto: Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you Orochimaru-sama…

Orochimaru: I already told you. You’re my favorite. Of course I’ll look out for you. Kabuto: -blush~ Meanwhile Kimi is in a kitchen, cooking something up. Kabuto wanders in and kisses his neck Kabuto: Smells good…-kisses again- Tastes good… Kimimaro: would you stop? Oto-san’s coming over for dinner and I want to impress him. Kabuto: Yeah, yeah whatever…you have time. Kimimaro: …Later. Kabuto: -pauses- Ok, it’s later. –jumps~ Kyuubi: -chilling on the throne of the demon world, servants and harem- galore, the human and demon world on their knees around him- No. I have no need of Chuck Norris. Muwahhaahah…eheheh. ~ Ino: -SHRIIIIIIIEKS- I look like-Sakura! Sasuke: but you look so gorgeous… Ino: Better than me…dammit! No! She’ not! She’s not! Sasuke: Of course not, shh, darling it’s all right. –holds closelySakura: Ino-sama, you could never resemble my pathetic self~ Haku: Hi! Zabuza: -sitting down heavily- that’s all the penguins…hey, new kids! Haku: No killing these ones. What’s up?

Kingdom Hearts hero: Uh…we’re not really sure. Haku: Well, I have some video-game weapons. Wanna help me learn how to use them? KHH: Sure, why not? Lucifel: the next eight reviews are all from Moonidiot. Yay! 1Wow, this first chapter was really short ^^ HAHA! I shall help you win xD Sakura: -cuddling in bed with her husband Sasuke- yeah, it was really short originally… wow that was so long ago. Sasuke: It was worth the wait to get me, wasn’t it? Sakura: completely. 2Spooky, Kabuto is REALLY gay in this o.o and Orochimaru...is drooling after Sakura... trauma!!

Kabuto: If by really gay you mean liking men, nothing’s changed. Orochimaru: well, you’re a little less flaming. Kabuto: Well…whatever. ~ Orochimaru: Yeah, but I rule the ninja world now, so it’s all good. Jiraiya: Hey, no drooling over anyone but me. Orochimaru: I’ll drool over you all right… 3o.o Orochimaru is so sick without his Jiraya -.Orochimaru: Oh yeah, you know it. Jiraiya: If I’m your medicine you better take me on a regular basis. Orochimaru: Meow. 4O, Kiba and Shino were already a couple in this chappie? Didn't ^^ Kiba: -is out hunting with Akamaru in the wilderness- Hell yeah. I can hardly a time when we weren’t…

Shino: Speaking of which, I was thinking Hinata should be the surrogate mother of our children. You can father them Kiba: …this really is the best possible life. ~ Shino: -in a insect-filed garden tending to everything while Kiba and Akamaru help patiently- Kiba, will you get me some of those seeds from the counter? Kiba: Of course darling. Shino: thanks love. –sighs- this is so nice…peace a serenity… 5Tickle orgy! They MUST have one last one before it all ends! Ita/Oro/Dei/Nej: FUCK YEAH!!!! 6They're getting longer and longer ^^ Mwaha, I love this! Lucifel: It’s awesome isn’t it? Craziness… 7o.o wow, last chapter was were the frappucinos started coming... And did Gaara just start his list? cool!

Gaara: Hehe, yeah…dude, I could use a frap right now. Lee: Good thing I come prepared. –hands frap- hey. Gaara: You’re early! Lee: Of course, you thought I could wait to see you? Gaara: -Kisses- You’re wonderful. Lee: I try to be thoughtful. Gaara: You are…always. 8Yondaime: ...I am so disappointed in you... My rolemodel has let me down! SOB! Anyways, Are you going to miss Naruto? Itachi: You're not going to miss me? Even if I gave you frappucinos...? -stacks of frappucinos are...stacked behind her. She sniffles saddlyGesh, I'm running out of things to say... NO, WAIT! WHO WANTS BOOTS?!?! -throws boots' into the room for anyone to get-

Yondaime: -while eating family dinner- What? I’m sorry! Naruto: Eh, who cares about them? I still look up to you.

Yondaime: …really? Naruto: of course. You’re the number one hokage ever…and my dad… Yondaime: -becomes misty eyed and hugs Naruto tightlyKushina: Darling, you’ll embarrass him. Naruto: Naw, I’ll deal…-hugs back~ Itachi: So, you wanna be my new best friend? BF: HEY! Itachi: She has FRAPS. TONS of FRAPS, BF: but I’m have the sexiness… Itachi: Oh yeah? My little brother is sexier. BF: Is that a fact? Itachi: Yeah it—pauses—I…nevermind. I just got distracted for a second. Come on, lets get into bed. BF: -tackles~ Haku: BOOTS!! KHH: I’m trying to show you the combo— Haku: It’s BOOTS. Give me a second. –fawns over themI know this was probably already asked in the next chapter, but Kyuubi what the heck!!?? I love you all! Kyuubi: Listen, bitch. I OWN this fucking world. I do who and what I please. All attendants: -bow and mutter praiseKyuubi: -settling into his throne- damn right.

Lucifel: Ok. The next TWENTY FOUR (plus one interlude) Are form He-Yan. You RCOK kiddo. Review Part 1 Did I not review them all? dunno but lets find out... to help the plottly theme I shall wave my magic wand and rid everyone of their presents *creepy giggle before strokes wand* I has founded you now XD

Haku: NOO—I still have my sword? Zabuza: I guess cz you earned them, they weren’t given to you. KHH: Make’s sense…now. ABB, up left, X. Got it? Haku: Sort of? KHH: Let’s keep working then… ~ Kabuto: My Sexy glasses!! Orochimaru: I’ll make you some new ones. I owe you so much anyway after all the loyalty you’ve shown me. Kabuto: Ah—thank you… Review Part 2 I CANNOT believe I didn't review all of them... I am appaled with myself *bows* deepest apologies I also want to grant one wish to the person of Lucifels choice ^_^

Lucifel: HeYan, trust me. It’s ok. –winkSakura: Seriously, where’s the issue here? Sasuke: you’re not in my arms? Sakura: -happy meep and crawls into his armsReview Part 3 This time a kiss for Kabuto... just on the cheek *pecks* Kabuto: eh? Orochimaru: -licks cheek- better? Kabuto: -bluush-

~ Kimimaro: –kisses Kabuto’s cheek tooKabuto: what was that for? Kimimaro: Being amazing as always… Orochimaru: I’m HERE!!! –struts inKabuto: Don’t knock or anything. Kimimaro: Don’t listen to him, You’re always welcome here. Oto-san. Review Part 4 Now for Shino and Kiba... free catering for your wedding ^_^ We know how much Kiba likes his food, obviously not as much as he likes Shino though Kiba: Sweet! Free stuff is the shit! Akamaru: ARF! –HELL YEAH!Kiba: so, can you get us taco bell?! ~ Shino: Well, sure except I’m already married… Kiba: honey, the sun’s setting. Come to bed. Shino: And enjoying it. –wry smileReviwe Part 5 Also you'll never guess whats in nine days... MY BIRTHDAY! :O I know, trust me I won't mature in the slightest Lucifel: OMG!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY HE-YAN!!! –streamers and balloons fall everywhereHaku: OOOH!! –starts playing with confettiKHH: …does he always do this? Zabuza: …yeeeah.

Review Part 6 Cheesecake for everyone! Just because it's got me through my mock exams... which I am acing even with Shikamaru's help... that reminds me I still have to get him back. Ino: -finally clearing of the Sakura appearance- FOREHEAD-GIRL! Sakura: Y-yes, mistress? Ino: Feed me. –leans backSasuke: No! Let me! Other servants: ME! No me! ~ Sakura: hey! Cake! –shares with her loving family~ Kankuro: …cheesecake huh…? Temari: Give me some! –licks whipped cream offGaara: …as Kazekage you really should help out the citizens… Kankuro: …do you have muffins for exchange? Tem/Gaa: -pulls out massive baskets of muffinsKankuro: awwww yeah. Review Part 7? I dunno I've lost count >< But yes Shikamaru's demise... would work more if I could attack Choji but he's just too cute XD Shikamaru: -relaxing on a grassy hillside. There are loose clouds in the sky and light breeze. No civilization for miles- If you can manage to plot my demise in a way I can’t escape I deserve it…-totally calmReview Part 8 This time I think Lucifel deserves a prize... so you get to choose and I shall award it next time

Lucifel: Well…obviously I don’t need anything. Why don’t you just give Naruto some ramen? Lol. Haku: Wheeeeeeee!!!! –tumbles around in the backgroundKHH: So I give up…-leavesZabuza: Wow, you were so cute you drove someone AWAY. Daaamn. Review Part 9 o almost in double figures >< I feel so so very bad BIG apologiseseses but I has come up with a great challenge... TAKESHI's CHALLENGE or NINJA CHALLENGE... the decision is up to you, but no using powers specially from Kyuubi-san Lucifel: We already had a competition so— Haku: I’ll do it!! –runs for the obstacle courseZabuza: -sighs and follows him to keep an eye on himReview Part 10 Did you know that Sasuke sponsors Ninja Challenge? that really is insulting to all the ninja's who are better than him... which is, well, everyone! Sakura: Well…he does what he must to the family. Sasuke: Of course! What kind of husband would I be otherwise? Kids: We love you mommy and daddy! Review Part 11 I cannot believe I missed so many... I just suck but yes... oh and Sasuke is defently part of this programme - Trans sexuals Itachi: Reeeeally? BF: You perv. Knock it off. Itachi: Would you really love me any other way? Mr. Uchiha: Get some sleep, son. Ita/BF: hehe…suure… Review Part 12 And there has only been one guy ever to complete all 4 stages... and he has gravity

defying hair hehe I like watching this just for the names Lucifel: lol. Love the ninja challenge commentary…that show kicks ass. Jiraiya: I completed Ninja challenge once. Tsunade: Suuuure you did. Orochimaru: Let him believe what he wants. Jiraiya: …-sigh- living in this apartment with you guys is sapping my creativity. Orochimaru: Let’s inspire you! Tsunade: Why not?! Jiraiya: Yesssssss… Review Part 13 This is a bad number XC And I'm loosing concentration over what I'm supposed to be doing here... however if I can review EVERY single page then maybe Lucifel will forgive me Lucifel: you never had to—actually yeah. Yeah you better work hard. –wiggles eyebrowsHaku: Whoopsie! Slipped into the water again! –runs back to the beginning- yay! New round! Zabuza: -shakes head and smilesReview Part 14 *yawn* Now Im just doing this for the hell of it... I have seriously run out of things to say . this doesn;t happen often Sakura: a fan is speechless?! This is the perfect world!!! ~ Itachi: …damn. No one to make fun off…oh besides your weird mole. BF: Shut up about my mole! A.H.S: -Twitches fuming-...Sasori...You...Are so fucking dead. -Pulls out her frying pan, doing one handed seals.- Forbidden Arts: Hell's Frying Pan jutsu! -Slams the top of his

head with the black flaming pan- Burn you bastard! -Hands the pan over to Kurenai.Noticed that you seemed to have misplaced yours. I am so fucking pissed right now. Aleara: Umm hi again. Anyhow, Zakura, wanna go out sometime? I know this great Les bar in Grass! And where the hell is Manda? -Hears a girlish shriek as she tosses in Sephiroth from FF7 Sasori: -all alone in a room full of prepped corpses, ready to be re-created- …I really don’t even care anymore. –happily gets to works cutting apart the first victim~ Zakura: not really. I don’t exist outside here so— Haku: Oh, go for it! I did, and now I’m a NINJA WARRIOR!!! Zabuza: -pats comfortinglyHaku: BWUHAHAHAHAA!! I AM CHAMPION! Zabuza: what’s the prize for that competition anyway? Haku: …I dunno. Zakura: Well, one drink at a bar might not be bad anyway….so long as we get it on afterwards. ~ Orochimaru: In the stable where he belongs of course. -smirk~ Kiba: He’s in a card! All my opponents can be sealed away with little trouble! Like My prized pokemon; Itachi!! Shino: And I’m so proud of you. Akamaru: RUFF! –me too!~ Manda: -in a world where the world…is inside him. Digesting- I’m biding my time until I can exact my revenge. Hissseseseses. ~

Haku: OMG!!!! SEPHY!!! Sephiroth: heh? Haku: YOU ARE CO COOL!! I PLAY YOUR GAME ALL THE TIME AND SOMETIMES I PAUSE IT JUST TO STARE AT YOUR HAIR!!!! Sephiroth: …uh…really? Haku: Oh yeah!! Zabuza: yeah…he does…it’s a little…weird. Sephiroth: I wish I could say he’s the first person to say that. Zabuza: Well, I personally just like your sword— Sephiroth: -raises eyebrowZabuza: ..oh…did I just say that? Haku: -snicker- ayup. Sephiroth: I’m done…-leavesReview Part 15 sorry if these are labeled wrongly I have a question, does Konoha have a shopping mall? Tsunade: No… Jiraiya: Damn, but then I could take you shopping for writing material. Tsunade: Uh-huh. Well, it’s not my business. Take it up with Naruto, he’s hokage…I don’t have anything to worry about… Jiraiya: Hey, you ok? Tsunade: Uh…yeah… Review Part 16 Or does Suna for that matter? Or the fire country? Gaara: I don’t know.

Temari: Yeah we do. It’s where I go to make fun of other girls. Some of them talk back… and then the real fun begins. Gaara’s mom: Temari! You’re picking fights! Temari: No! It’s just more fun to pick on people in pairs. ~ Lee: Shopping malls are not youthful! For they are conformist and that is DEFINITELY not youthful! Which is why they no longer exist!! -indeed, Lee is living in a world which can only be described as…YOUTH. Every thing has a positive attitude, full of energy…a little scaryReview Part 17 Maybe I should compose a song? Do you think... how about a Sonnet and then you can all guess who it's for... Hinata: A song? That’d be so lovely! -she is sitting in a rose-scented bubble bath the size of a swimming pool, candles light the scene and cutes animals skitter by outside the windowReview Part 17 I'm sure I'll have lost count but the song I shall have to work on Haku: He-Yan said 17 twice!! Lucifel: Who cares? She’s giving me like, fifty-billion reviews!! Haku: Kyaa!! Kimi and Hinata will have to sing it! Review Part 18 aww when there was only 4 of them... it was so loud... if anything it's got quieter with more people(not including Kyuubi) Sakura: I wish that were true of children. Sasuke: haha, well, we’ll have to make our own noise… Sakura: -blush~ Lee: The more people, the more YOUTH!!!!!!!

Review Part 19 Seriously you guys multiplied by chapter -.- but remeber this time where I reviewd MANY MANY MANY chapters all at one hehe it was so fun Sakura: I that… Sasuke: Want a massage to help ease away those stressful memories. Sakura: God, you’re—amazing. It’s…unreal. Sasuke: I know. I is 7pm now... I think I has been doing this for almost and hour... almost o and Review Part 20

Itachi: God, those crazy fans. BF: So…I see I’m not you’re only fan… Itachi: but you’re my biggest…in more ways than one. BF: PERV!! Itachi: Yes. Yes I am. Review Part 21 Ahh so much Sakura bashing... and there still is even in the chapter's 40 odd later lol But she knows it's only because she's pathetic... unfortunately Sakura is still closer to all the bishies then we will every be Sakura: Yeah, that’s right bitch. Sasuke: -smiles and shakes headReview Part 22 At least I rekon it's it's 22... could be anything by now I suppose it doesn't really help my counting ability Lucifel: You Way lost track. I fixed your titles for ya. ^_^ Kisame: -Hanging at the beach with Itachi in a speedo rubbing him with oil and getting all up on him- Umm…do I have a question or not? Lucifel: Naw, just hadn’t shown you yet. Kisame: whatever…wait, what?! WHO?!

Lucifel: -is silentItachi: Relax, Kisame, just focus on me… Review Part 23 This was the start of thr frappucino phrase... Who like's fraps more itachi or Gaara? Ita/Gaa: ME!!!! Gaara’s mother: hey! We should go on a frap run right now! Gaara: You are truly the best mother ever. Review Part 24 This chapter is the same day as my birthday -hinthint- it would be very nice to have the next chapter by then... especially as I am liable to get pissed because my friends are bringing alcohol Lucifel: HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY HE-YAN!! YOU ROCK!! Deidara: Nice, yeah! Get smashed for me! –sets off a sculpture of a raccoon- haha, yeah!! Review Part 25 I was gonna say this didn't have many reviews but then it wasn't a proper chapter either Kankuro: your mom’s not a proper chapter… Review Part 26 I think I came in at chapter 12... possibley...maybe...kinda Shino: I can’t believe someone actually went through it all like this…god. Kiba: come inside for dinner, my love. –kissReview Part 27 I think is is almost half of the chapters I've missed >< THis cannot be good Hinata: At least you’re half way there! Heehee. –smileFuzzy Animals: -in awe of the cuteness-

Review Part 28 Last one... hope you like the reviews lol Lucifel: Oh wow…so you’re done. Zakura: Dear fucking god. Ino: After that I need to relax. Sakura! Bring my pillow! Sakura: Right away ma’am! Ino: Yeah, it BETTER be right away. I’m finally bossing you around so you better do it right. HT: wow, you updated on my birthday...( my b-day is on nov. 28th, incase you dunno ) amber: and i captured HT! HT: but it was only because of the ice cream cake kata bought me. amber: anyway, anyone want icecream cake before HT eats it all? HT: oh yes, and i decided to give you my chocolate fountian, kurenai. but only you, sakura, kyuubi, hinata, tsunade, and zakura can use it! oh, one more thought before i go... MY RAMEN IS COLD! T.T Lucifel: OMG! HAPPY BRITHDAY HT!!! Orochimaru: Does she die now? Cuz if you’re not killing her I’ll totally order her death. Jiraiya: Just say the word darling. –cracks knucklesOrochimaru: Actually…no…I don’t want you to just run around doing things for me Jiraiya. I need to be chasing something— POOF!!!!!! Orochimaru is back in the main room. Orochimaru: wtf? Zakura: Oh hey, some-one made it back. Orochimaru: Wtf? Zakura: You’ll figure it out… Haku: Ice cream cake!! –sits and devoursZabuza: Are you gonna share?

Haku: DO I have to? Zabuza: Yes. Haku: Why? Zabuza: It’s ice cream cake Haku. I love you, but not enough to let you have all of that. Haku: Fair enough. ~ Kurenai: FUCK YEAH!! –jumps into fountainKurenai’s world is a place full of endless chocolate that gives no repercussions ~ Naruto: COLD RAMEN?! NOES!!! Yondaime: You going to go train with Sasuke now? Naruto: Yeah, see you later! Thanks for dinner mom! Kushina: Of course dear. ^-^' Hehe sorry lucifel-chan about the last review! Anyhow! Sakura I dare you to date kabuto! Ino I dare you to fucking die you hoe! Sakura: No! I’m married with children! To Sasuke! Sasuke: Exactly! And I wouldn’t ever let her go! Nothing is more important than Sakura to me! Sakura: …Look. I love you, I love this. But this is just—too unreal. I know you want revenge more than me. And I…I need reality. I can’t just live in my own mind. As much as it hurts, that’s really important to me BAMF!! Sakura is back in the main room. Zakura: YES! I knew it! You’re one of the first!

Sakura: Wtf? What does that mean?! Zakura: you’ll see. Anyway, you now owe Kabuto a date. Sakura: …fuck. ~ Kabuto: Aww, hell no. Orochimaru: You better not. I need you here. Kabuto: Of COURSE not. ~ Ino: I can’t just die. Killing a character is against the rules. –sticks out tongueSasuke: meow. Ino: Teehee. Choji: Why did you wear your hitai-ite like a pair of head underwear? Don't get me wrong, I love and respect head underwear, I'm just curious. Ino: AH HA you look like a puffer fish! Kiba: You lost my original gift to you, so instead: Here's a map of the grand line! When you get out of the room, you can go find One Piece and become Pirate King! Itachi: Which Akatsuki member chose the uniform? Choji: -in a stock closet the size of a baseball field, with a huge skylight under which he and Shikamaru are kicking back and relaxing…in his case munching- I don’t know…it’s just how the of my family have always worn their forehead protectors. Shikamaru: -hands him another bag of chips- forget them. Just relax.-leans against him~ Sasuke: -gasp- Ino-sama is NOT!! Ino: ha! –sticks out tongueSakura: Oh yes! I am far uglier then Ino-sama, I am unworthy to even be in her presence!! -back in the room-

Sakura: How long has THAT been happening? Zakura: Since we started. Sakura: Aww, fuck NO! I’m gonna— Zakura: -grabbing her- you CAN’T. Sakura: Why not? Zakura: There’s a reason for that. Sakura: …fuck you. ~ Kiba: YES!!! THE PIRATE WORLD WILL BE MINE! Let’s go Akamaru! Shino, I will return shortly! Shino: I’ll be waiting darling! Good luck! Kiba: You’re wonderful, love. –kissesShino: Of course, I have you. Kiba: MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OFF TO CONQUER THE PIRATE WORLD!! ~ Itachi: I don’t know! I ed after the costumes were made. Mr. Uchiha: -knocking on the door- Itachi! It’s morning! Come down to the station with me! Itachi: coming father! BF: -kisses goodbye- have a good day. Itachi: I will. See you tonight. Okay um... just tryin to help with the review counts here... Kabuto: we're all dying to know what you think, so who is hotter, Ino or Sakura? Kurenai: Which would you choose: world peace or a lifelong supply of chocolate? Sakura: Kinda random but...out of all the people in the room, who is your best friend? Ino: You've been getting some hate mail in there lately, but I just wanna say...I still think

you're pretty damn awesome. Peace. Lucifel: thanks! I love every review I’m getting right now. ^_^ Kabuto: Er…what? Orochimaru: Oh, it doesn’t matter. I’m sexier than both. Kabuto: Well, yes. Orochimaru: So, of the bitches? Kabuto: Ino has the better body. Orochimaru: -nod, nodKabuto: But Sakura has a cuter face. Orochimaru: eh, maybe. But she’s such a ditz… Kabuto: -blushing- it’s kind of cute… Orochimaru: Cuter than me? Kabuto: Well…I mean…you’re sexy so… Orochimaru: Are you kidding me? Kabuto: Uh. Yeah…I am. Don’t know what I’m thinking. ~ Kurenai: chocolate. Who needs world peace when you have eternal happiness? –giddy smileAsuma: Kurenai, how long have you been here? Kurenai: Long enough…waiting… Asuma: Really? Kurenai: I’m always waiting for you…it’s why we divorced… Asuma: Yeah…I’m sorry. That’s why I found you. To apologize.

Kurenai: A little late, huh? Asuma: Yeah… Kurenai: It’s ok. This is all I wanted anyway. It’d be nice if it was real. And you know, I don’t really feel satisfied. Now that this is done it just feels like something else should take it’s place. Asuma: I don’t know what I can do. Kurenai: Nothing. I guess I just need something to wait for… KAPOW Kurenai is back in the room. Kurenai: WHAT?! NO!! WHERE’D THE CHOCOLARTE GO?!? Zakura: …-sighSakura: well, probably—wait, like that whole class or everyone here? Zakura: Eh, here. Sakura: Oh…Kurenai I guess. Or Haku. The people that aren’t total bitches all the time. Zakura: Fair enough. ~ Ino: Well, you’re not the only one. –smirkLucifel: The next set of eleven is from Kohaku Kawa!! Chouji: If you're gay who do you like? (anyone besides Shika?) Choji: No…just Shikamaru. Shikamaru: -smiles and cuddles closerOKay, Yondaimei, you were Jiraiya's student ne? Did you have crushes on any of the sannin?

Yondaime: -erk- no...just…NO! EWW! Kushina: Calm down, darling. Yondaime: -shudders- yes, I know…ugh! It’s just so gross!!

Sasori, why don't you make out with Deidara anymore anywhizzle? Sasori: because I have puppets to make…-delves into his work-a few seconds laterSasori: DAMMIT!! It’s just not going right! WHYWHYWHY?!?! –rereads question- it’s him isn’t it? He’s gotten into my mind…now I can’t live without the distractions and competition of Deidara’s obnoxious explosions…how…obnoxious. SHAKAKAHN!! Sasori is back in the room. Sasori: ok? Zakura: Yo. I give kiba the voice card Kiba: Kick ass! A new assistant for dominating the pirate world! I give kiba the libra card (bonus points if you figure out what it does)

Kiba: Yet another! Huzzah! Wait…Libra? Akamaru: hrrm? –wtf?Kiba: It’s used for…deciphering…the weight of…a situation? I have no fucking clue. I give Kiba the mirror card. mirror, mirror on the wall...

Kiba: Oh…she’s pretty…-entrancedAkamaru: bark, yapyap. -you may want to start sealing these…I throw the dash card in. Good luck catching it. Kiba: eh? -all the cards explode and start wreaking their respective havocKiba: Shit! –unseals staff and gets to workWho wants the Wood card yeah?

Kiba: Me! Just throw it in too! Akamaru: ARF! YAP BARK! –yes! We can capture them all!I stick the light card to the ceiling, it's pretty bright.

Zakura: Fuck, that one got in here…. Sakura: I can’t see! Haku: wheee!! Light!! –spins aroundZabuza: So, are you HIGH right now? Haku: I’m not eliminating the possibility… from chapter one" Lucifel: I don’t actually like Sakura more; I just wanted to make a come-back to Ask Ino…" what ya'll got to say about that? I personally like Ino.

Sakura: Fuck you. ~ Ino: Of COURSE you like me! I’m awesome! Muwahahahahaha!! I give Kiba the Song card. Kiba: Wait! No! I can’t—didn’t you already give me that fucking card?! Akamaru: yap. –no, that was voiceKiba: WHAT’S THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?! -a barrage of card attacks descendLucifel: and that was kohaku… Zakura, why aren't you nice to Sakura? I mean, you are a supressed part of Sakura's personallity that was created when she wanted to be more proper after she got a bit tougher. Plus, don't you look exactly like her? Dosn't that mean that you should compliment her? Everyone-STOP CALLING SAKURA STUPID! She was like, second in book smarts and didn't get that much extra training from Kakashi.

Zakura: No I’m THE kick-ass part of her brain. She gives me a bad name. Wouldn’t that piss you off? Sakura: Oh whatever.

Zakura: And no. we went over this. I don’t look exactly like her. Sakura: -rolls eyesZakura: Besides book smarts means shit when it comes to real brains. Also, we know at least Shikamaru and Kakashi are more brilliant. AT LEAST. Sakura: -grumbleKiba you don't me? My heart is broken beyond repair. At least you have Shino who is an awesome person even though he so cruelly insulted me. I apologize if I offended. *gives cheese* Choji, sorry I scared you, I was in rabid fanhuman mode. *gives cookies*. What is your favorite color, animal, plant, and rock? Orochichi, Were you always a perv? Itachi, what makes you think i'm a girl?

Kiba: -is lying on his back, wrapped in vines, dash running all over the place, voices and songs eachoing everywhere, and a dopplganger sitting on his back- …dammit…I should never have tried this…I know I need Shino and Akamaru to keep me in line…when I make my own decision I end up killed by a bunch of cards… SHOOOOOO Kiba is back in the room Kiba: oww…it’s bright… Akamaru: ARFARFARF!! –none of the other cards can see or move either! Get em!Kiba: WOO! –captures and seals all the cards- see? Without my brains with me I’m screwed… Akamaru: yap, yap. –it’s cool.Kurenai: What is this, a children’s TV show? Kiba: hehe…sorry… ~ Choji: uh…it’s ok? Shikamaru: -hugs closelyChoji: umm…purple, butterflies, edible kinds and…sparkly ones? I don’t know! Shikamaru: don’t worry about it honey.

~ Orochimaru: Pretttty much. –smile- All my servants must now be naked! Servants: yay! Naked time! ~ Itachi: because…you…I….wait, what? Mr. Uchiha: Everything ok son? Itachi: uh….maybe… I know what happened to Kakashi but why not bring him back? Hes such a big charecter!! Lucifel: Well, if I did all the big characters I’d have even more people…Kakshi had his moment. Kakashi: Yo people. Lucifel: Oh fuck you. Kakshi: No, I just dropped my book last time and finally figured I left here…there it is! Bye all! Kiba: Hey…I was reading that…. ...Fine Sakura: i give you exact copies of the cards(they even have the same power) Kurenai: i give you another regenerating chocolate bar but with this one you dont get sick Haku: i give you an endless supply of nailpolish YOU HURT MY CAT! Now you shall feel my wrath! wait one sec *does some hand seal and her cat comes back but is in demon form now* my cat is as powerful as Kyuubi, have fun with him ^.^ Undinedemon Sakura: Really? -thunder and lightning all over and down from the ceiling descends a tall white figure with ice blue eyes and sexy robesSakura: W-who are you?

Figure: I am Yue. The second guardian of the Clow Cards. I WAS coming here because Kero told me someone else was after the cards, but now…I have to rectify the befouling of my master’s greatest creation. Hand over the replicas. Sakura: meep. –hands over cardsYue: -incinerates them- Now, dog-boy. Kiba: Meep. Yue: You claim to be able to control the cards? Sakura Kinomoto is the destined master, you realize this? Kiba: yeah well…fuck destiny. Yue: you will prove your worth. Kiba: NOW?! Yue: No. there is a more important plot at hand. Kiba: phew… Kurenai: Well, good luck with that kiddo. –eats chocolateHaku: YAYYY!! NAILPOLISH!! HEY! YOU! –points at YueYue: …me? Haku: Yeah, what’s your name? Yue: …Yue… Haku: C’mere!! Yue: Why? Haku: JUST COME!! Yue: …-comesKyuubi: As powerful as me you say? Cat: Fuck yes I am! Kyuubi: Well then…it’s all about first strike isn’t it?

Cat: Say what? Kyuubi: -stabs it in the heart- Oh, I win! Subjects: ALL HAIL KYUUBI!! Kyuubi: Hmm…that was far more satisfying than even ruling…fuck ruling! I want something to conquer! WAWAWAWAWA Kyuubi is back in the room. Kyuubi: Ok, and by that I meant setting up a fucking tournament…oh well, this works too. I still reveiw to help you make your goal -- even though some of my reviews were never posted :-P Sakura - if there was one thing you could from this place once it is gone, what would it be? Itachi/ Kurenai - one of the biggest aurgument for the illegality of incest is that it promotes predatory behavior within the family. Your views? Lucifel: Sorry! Well, here’s your review this time!!!! Sakura: …nothing… Zakura: Bitch, I’m warning you! Sakura: Fine! …Kabuto’s a good kisser… Kiba: OOOOH!! DAMN!! Sakura: shutupshutupshutup!! Zakura: Uh-huh… Kurenai: Yeah, that makes sense. I approve. Itachi: -back at home now- Well, so what? Animals have predatory family shit sometimes, it’s not necessarily wrong… Sasuke: but it’s incest! Itachi: So?

BF: Um…it’s incest… Itachi: Well, I can’t live without incest! SHOOP DE WHOOP!! -Itachi is back in the room Itachi: …-sigh- yeah, as much as I thought…well…it wasn’t worth it. Kimimaro, What do you like best about being here? Hi Shino, you should apologize for calling random person a bitch. Random person is a very sensitive person. Congratulations Haku, whats your horoscope? Shikamaru what do you like best about Chouji? Here's a pillow, have a nice nap when you can. Its good to be youthful everyone!

Kimimaro: Right here, right now? That I’m in Kabuto’s arms… Kabuto: Of course! Orochimaru: You two make such a good couple. –smiles- I’m so proud of you. Kimimaro: -smiles shyly~ Shino: Er, whatever. Sorry? But he’s mine bitch… Kiba: Of course I am! Shino: you know, it’s almost scarier with you doting over me. I miss having to keep you in line. Kiba: what do you mean? Shino: I guess I’m a glutton for punishment, but I miss having to look out for you. I suppose I just need to play caretaker… SHAAAAA Shino is back in the room. Shino: Hey Kiba. –hugs and kisses ionatelyKiba: Uh…hello…I’m gonna be “tested”

Shino: like for aids? Kiba: no. for the kards. Shino: …you did something retarded didn’t you? Kiba: …yeah… Shino: -sighs- well, that’s why I’m here. Haku: Me? I dunno…I have no clue when I was born…so I pick Virgo. Sakura: you can’t just pick! Haku: Yes I can. –smileZabuza: don’t argue…just…don’t argue. ~ Shikamaru: Because he listens. And s me no matter what’s going on…but right now, I can just kick back and relax. –sighs~ Lee: YOSH!!!!!!! INDEED IT IS!! All the others: YOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!! Lee: Yes! Three cheers for youth my friend! Everyone: RAH! RAH! RAH!!! YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUTH!!! I hope you get the 1k reviews... i'll help you by telling all my friends to review! Cake for you *everyone is suddenly covered in cake along with... uh... some other things that can't really be mentioned* Shikamaru: why are you so smart? and if someone outsmarted you would you attack them? Lucifel: thanks! I hope so too! Kiba: DUDE! CAKE! Haku: Hey! This is messing with my manicure!

Yue: …wtf? Shikamaru: I don’t know… -several days in the Shikamaru worldShikamaru: I…can’t believe it. I’m getting bored. -sigh- I need something to figure out… KOOKOOKACHOO!! Shikamaru is back in the room. Shikamaru: Anyway, no. I wouldn’t. Kiba: He’d just go emo… Shikamaru: Right…-eats cake*snaps fingers and kyuubi is a woman once again* marimari karikari... KANIKANI! Kyuubi: NO. Lucifel: -snicker- you know the rules Kyuubi… Kyuubi: Screw the rules, I have POWER!! –takes a tangible form of the rules and eats them- fuck that. Lucifel: …-whimpersKyuubi: If you KNEW what I had to go through to get back into make form— Zakura: do tell! Kyuubi: NO. Lee: -still leading the chant- YOUTH! YOUTH! YOUTH!! –after it calms- Yes, yes my friends! I happy you all know and appreciate youth! But…I have no one else to tell of this, for you already know! You must continue to carry on the power of youth, but I need to be spreading youth where it is needed!!! KSSSSSSCH Lee is back in the room

Lee: Yes! My friends! I have seen paradise! And we will get there! One youthful step at a time! Kiba: …this really messed Lee up but good. Haku: done! Look how pretty your nails are! Yue:…that is kind of nice actually… Haku: Heehee. ^_^ gomen gomen gomen gomen! sorry i haven't reviewed for such a long time... Kabuto you must kiss sakura and Sakura you must kiss kabuto back with lust... *throws pein and konan in* y'know who they are right? konan=blue haired shadow and pein=leader-sama Lucifel: It’s cool! You’re reviewing now! Sakura: Oh come ON. Zakura: you better when he gets here. Kabuto: no! that’s…horrible… Orochimaru: You said she was cute… Kabuto: Yeah but…I don’t wanna kiss her…-blushing furiouslyOrochimaru: -tilts head curiously~ Kisame: oh, hey guys. Pein: wtf? How did you get him to— Kisame: it’s all in what you use to dominate them… Konan: It’s too bright…my shadowy-ness is fading… Kisame: yeah, yeah. Itachi: Oh Kisame…I need you…

Kisame: You know, it’s actually better when there’s a struggle. That’s what I need… SHWAAAAA Kisame is back in the room Kisame: Itachi!!! –pouncesItachi: Ack! –runs awayKisame: rwar. Meanwhile,,, Pein: We’re uh, still at the beach… Konan: -hisssO.O sasori you killed your own son... how evil of you... oh yeah and behind the really giant book on the bookshelf... is some sakuita porn as well as kisdei porn... not to mention a bit of incest heh heh Sasori: Yes, I’m evil. Get over it. ~ Deidara: Sasori…what do you think of my art, yeah? Sasori: It’s the epitome of perfect art, outside of the bedroom. Deidara: …well that’s no fun! I want conflict! PEEEEWWWWW!!! Deidara is back in the room Deidara: SASORI!! –tacklesSasori: You’re a fucking obnoxious freak. Deidara: …yay. -they kiss a lotKisame: Me/Dei pron huh? Lemme see…

Ita/Saku: ITA/SAKU PRON?!?!? NOES!!!!!! –destroy the abomination~ Tsunade: And I won another bet! Fuck yeah! Jiraiya: Let’s celebrate with some reckless drinking! We have no cares in the world!! Tsunade: -drinks massive amounts~ Yondaime: Kushina…darling…I love you so much, and this life is so happy. But you know, don’t you? Kushina: Of course. This was all over a long time ago. You need that closure for your life, ne? Yondaime: You’re truly a wonderful wife…explain to Naruto if he comes back, all right? Kushina: Of course. KASHOOOO Yondaime is back in the room. Kyuubi: S’up? Yondaime: -furious blushing- nothing… -thinks- godammit, I forgot about that…wtf is going on?Itachi: INCEST WHERE?!? Lucifel: and last but FUCKING HELL not least, is eight reviews from my amazing husband Emperor Jaden!! Since you requeted it love, then so I shall! I shall review every chapter, as requested, even if the messages are short. Lucifel: Because you ROCK!! Gaara: -while taking care of business as Kazekage with Lee next to him, kissing his cheek occasionally- so…that wasn’t too hard. Lee: You are the best most youthful Kazekage ever.

Gaara: Thanks…it’s weird…it’s almost too easy…I feel off-kilter. Lee: what do you mean? Gaara: Well, I don’t have to work for your attention…or for anyone’s respect or love… everyone’s happy…I have no conflict… Lee: Gaara, you’re saying a lot at once, are you sick? Gaara: no, but I just realized. Without struggle…I’m not even me anymore… POP Gaara is back in the room Gaara: Well that was weird… Lee: Darling! –tackles- I found a perfect world full of wonderous youth! And some day, that world will be HERE and NOW!! But until then, you will help live the dream won’t you? Gaara: …sure honey… *Cuddles his wife, licking her neck* Lucifel: -coosKimimaro: Kabuto, you love me don’t you? Kabuto: Of course. Kimimaro: So, you’re completely happy? Kabuto: Yes. –kissKimimaro: But you aren’t…I know that…I’m not what makes you happy. And I can’t live without truth… FAPP Kimimaro is back. ~ Neji: being head of the family is boring…I miss having a grudge.

Hisashi: What do you mean Neji-sama? Neji: As depressing as it is…I think I need injustice to fuel my life…give me a reason to seek revenge. WALLAWALLAWALLA Neji is back in the room. Itachi: Wanna do it? Neji: When do I NOT? *Floats about, adding another review* Tsunade: -totally smashed- who’s next? Oh really? LOOK! I win again! I don’t have worry! –hicJiraiya: You ok honey? Tsunade: I…I dunno. With having all this luck and you being totally faithful it’s like…I need another drink. –gulps- I have nothing to worry and about and take care of…tell no one but..,I kinda need that. Or I get all depressed-like… DADADAAAA!! Tsunade is back in the room…still smashed. Sakura: Tsunade-sensei!! –runs to aide her*Throws fraps and chocolate to everyone except Kabuto* Jiraiya: So, you guys, how about another round of inspiration? Orochimaru: I’m game. Tsunade: Fuck yeah… Jiraiya: …that’s just not right. Tsunade: What’s not? Jiraiya: you not hitting me for that! If you’re violent and mean I have excuses for not getting serious with you! When Orochimaru’s all evil I can use that excuse for hating him instead of because I love him…I mean damn I fucking need excuses to get by!

WTFOMGBQQ Jiraiya is back in the room. Jiraiya: Oh come on! I could have at least gotten a little more action first! Tsunade: Excuse me? Jiraiya: Nevermind… *Waits for the interlude to * Choji: I know all this food is great in all…but I don’t know if I deserve it. Shikamaru: What do you mean? Choji: Well, usually I eat a lot so I have energy for fighting, but if I wont need to…that’s bad. I don’t deserve it. I need to have good reason, and earn what I get. If I didn’t live like that I’d wonder why I never got you— Shikamaru: Oh Choji… SHANANANAN Choji is back in the room. Choji: Hey Shika. Shikamaru: Yo. *Humming the Doom Song, by Gir* Sakura: any more tea, Ino-sama? Sasuke: Another massage Ino-sama? Or maybe I should kick Sakura? Sakura: Oh please…I would so deserve it… Ino: …Dammit! This isn’t any fun! I know I always say I want to dominate Sakura but it’s not fun unless she hates it! I need to be winning something to enjoy the spoils, not riding a dead horse! ORLY?!!! Ino is back in the room.

Ino: Ok, well, I would have liked to keep Sasuke…geez… Itachi: DOOM SONG!!!! ~ Manda: all right…I need things to kill and eat…it’s not fun when there’s nothing left. SNAPKRACKLEPOP Manda’s back, and slithers to a corner *Waves a Merry Chirstmas flag* Lucifel: Yes! Merry Christmas baby! AYOAYOAYOA!! Kabuto is back in the room. Sakura: wait a minute…how come? Kabuto: I…uh…pushed a button? ~ Hinata: I miss my friends… BOOM Hinata is back Zakura: Ok that was a gay, pussy reason. Lucifel: I couldn’t think of anything! Sure me! Sakura: After all this I should have a right to… Orochimaru: KABUTO!! Why did you come back?! Tell meeee?! Kabuto: …no. Orochimaru: -poutsNaruto: So, what’s up Sasuke.

Sasuke: not much, ready to train, buddy? Naruto: Yeah! -they do some sparring etcSasuke: Hey! You’re really challenging me! Naruto: …what? Sasuke: I said this is really a challenge? Naruto: Oh…that’s not right. You need to put me donw, piss me off…I always wanted your respect but…it’s really the conflicts in my life that keeps me going… Sasuke: Aren’t you happy though? To have a family? A best friend who hasn’t deserted you? Naruto: Yeah…but what do my dreams and ambitions mean if I haven’t stuck to them even in hard times, huh? I really do…I need that hardship, so I know when times are really great. GURGLEGOBBLE Naruto is back in the room *Another review! Yay!* Lucifel: AND the last for the day. Zakura: Wait a minute…godammit. I have to summon Kankuro back. Kankuro is pulled in kicking and screaming Kankuro: NO! NO! I LOVE IT THERE!! I DON’T WANT TO COME BACK!!! Zakura: -sighs- ok, I guess you all are wondering what the fuck? Everyone: uh…yeah. Zakura: Well, you were all so miserable here, we wanted to show your perfect world…so you would realize what REALLY makes you happy. Each of you SHOULD –glares at Kankuro- have realized something in your lives you took for granted or hated, and how necessary it is for your happiness in your life here. So?

Everyone: -thinks or nods, and eventually everyone looks fairly impressedZakura: Basically, we wanted you all to kick back and have some fun in the rest of yor time here. Kankuro: Can I go back now? Zakura: No fuck you. Lucifel: Hope that went ok…I liked the idea a lot, I just hope I pulled it off. Also, this chapter is TWICE as long as normal, with extra plot etc, so being only two days late should be DAMN impressive. Don’t worry about splitting your reviews a lot anymore, just two or three ways would be MORE than enough. I can’t do another seventy-review chapter, hehe. Zakura: Anyway, I hope you guys fucking appreciate your time now. Go fuck off however you want. Kiba: Man, things are gonna be so much better now! Yue: Dog-boy. You’re mine. Kiba: ulp…

Ask Sakura 54 4 Lucifel: Ok, seriously. I wasn’t even gonna PRETEND like I could update on time during Finals. Heh. But this is later than I hoped…sorry. But anyway, I’m like, DYING of nerves after an audition so let’s get this distraction—I mean show—on the road! Oh yeah! I still LOVE the split reviews, but I simply can pull off another stunt like last time. I’ll be condensing. I’ll still leave in a good chunk, but it’s just too rough. Thank you though! I still love you all for it!

Kabuto: Because -I- know why you came back, I forgive, you, and hold my oath fulfilled. You're no longer being tortured. Oh, and Sakura owes you a make-out session -and- a date. Everyone: Throws everyone random kickass stuff Attacks Jiraiya with a legion of rabid fangirls. He probably likes it, too Hyper Gaara is amusing...Gives Gaara a frap of pure caffine Gives Lucifiel -infinite power-! That overides even Kyuubi's. Also makes Kyuubi a bishie Turns everyone into cute lolita's. To see their reaction Puts a little "I love Incest" hat on Itachi Makes everyone look badass Puts a little shrine, that shows the badasses in the room, in a badass way. Just cause Kabuto: she—ah---wha? Sakura: It’s all lies! Don’t listen to them! Zakura: Uh-huh. Get your tongue in the man’s mouth. Sakura: B-but— Zakura: -pushes her at him-they make out for the minimum required time and then Sakura jerks awayKabuto: Er-ah, we can’t really go on a date while we’re here so. Zakura: There’s a ramen stand. Kabuto: -sighZabuza: -examining piles of kick-ass stuff- I already AM kick-ass…oooh but I like that vest. Haku: Meow, me too. Jiraiya: Come and get me girls!!!!! Orochimaru: -destroys fangirls- I saved you darling!

Jiraiya: …why? Orochimaru: -smacks gently- Cuz you’re MINE. –kissJiraiya: ehehe, yes sir. Ino: SO basically you’re giving him espresso? Gaara: No! This…is…FRAPPUCCINO!!!!!!!! –downs the thingKimimaro: -slaps forheadLucifel: Yay! Kyuubi: Nope. Lucifel: Nope? Kyuubi: To give someone more power than someone else the giver must in turn have more power than them. And trust me, he doesn’t. Lucifel: awwwwwwww. Kyuubi: -smirkGaara: I DO NOT WANT FRILLS!!!! –starts violently ripping off the lace and bowsLee: Not youthful! Not youthful!!! Haku: yay! –spins aroundKabuto: Oh come ON. I’m trying to get this date over without hassle and now I’m in a fucking dress? Sakura: eugh, this is WAY to tight… Kabuto: -sneaks a glanceJiraiya: -sneaks a glanceKurenai: -SKILLET JAB!!!Jiraiya: Owwww. Itachi: -gasp- THIS IS THE BEST HAT EVAR!!

Kisame: damn, it’s just and It’s just incest hat…calm down. Itachi: I had what was left of Gaara’s frap….hehehehehehhehe. Kisame: oh, so you’re energy is up then? Itachi: -blush- maybe? Yue: I am not amused by this nonsense… Kiba: -hidesYue: I see you pup. Come out here. Kiba: Well, I’m badass too now! So I stand a chance! Yue: You will notice my appearance has now reverted back to normal. Kiba: Yeeeah? Yue: Not changed in the slightest while everyone else is a;tered in some way to look more…rough…you might say. Kiba: Yeeees? Yue: Do you know what that means? Kiba: Nnnnnno? Yue: -staring him down- I was already too badass for you too handle. Kiba: -meepGaara: WOOT! I wanna climb on the shrine!! –climbs and sits on roofShrine: -creaks under weight and collapses reverting everyone back to normalGaara: hahahahahah, let’s do that again!! Kimimaro: …you need to calm down, kiddo. Lee: No! For this is good! And youthful!!! Ceyx: Sakura hahahaha your parents are unimportant! Ash: Hahahaha you don't know who your dad is! Ceyx: Mom who's my father?

Ash: In the early chapters, Inner Sakura was all over Sasuke. Zakura how could you? You were my hero!! But now I don't have a hot kinky lesbian to idolize!! Anko: there's always me! Ceyx: Thank you god! I have a hot nympho in my room! Anko: Nahh I don't do fanboys. They tend to have small penises. Ash: So me and a couple friends were talking about Christmas specials in cartoons and wondered what The Uchihas would be like if they were jewish. Because of that I dare Kisame to circumsise Itachi! why didn't Akamaru have his own world? Doesn't every dog get his day? There is something I didn't get about Hinata's happy place. Why wasn't Naruto in it? NO THIS IS KILLING OFF ALL CHANCES OD NARUHINA. Sakura: H-hey! You’re a jerkwad! Kabuto: Just eat your ramen. Sakura: I’m not hungry anymore. Kabuto: …then you wanna…go for a walk or something? Sakura: Where? Kabuto: Er---A staircase appears in the wallKabuto: Upstairs? Sakura: Huh? –looks over- Oh…ok… Zakura: Ok, I addressed this earlier. When I was in Sakura I was merely an alteration of HER personality, now I’m out I’m much stronger in my own ways. When I go back my personal opinions will falter too…IF I go back…muwahahhahahaha. Sakura: Wait wha— Kabuto: Let’s go. Lucifel: Oh yeah, Ceyx, Emperor Jaden is your father. Orochimaru: OMG!! It’s true! Fanboys ARE small! Tsunade: That boy just insulted his own junk…damn

Kiba: So, Yue…what do I…uh…do? Yue: You must prove to me you have proper control over the cards, and that you can defeat me using their powers. Kiba: Ok… Yue: But be warned, if they like me more, they will be MINE. –fiery eyesKiba: -meepKisame: YES!! Itachi: But…we ARE jewish. Orochimaru: You ARE? Itachi: Yeah. You didn’t know? Orochimaru: So that’s why Sasuke always wanted to burn down the Christmas tree… Zakura: Akamaru didn’t get his own world because… Akamaru: arf, yap. Barkity bark. –I’m a dog. I’m happy so long as I get food and belly rubs and exercise.Zakura: see? And as far as Hinata goes… Hinata: Well, my ideal world is a place where I can totally relax. I’m usually so on edge and stressed… Zakura: Also, I was still in a little bit of control. –winkSakura: Everyone can kill, most people can do it creatively. It takes some real power to heal. If there was one person you could heal which you previously couldn't -- who would it be? Of what affliction? Sakura: Oh…I don’t know…probably Sasuke during the Chuunin exams, that was so terrifying… Kabuto: Damn these stairs are steep… Sakura: Having trouble? Kabuto: No…-grumble-

Ino: Where did they go? Hmmm…-goes up stepsek! Haku how could you let Zabuza kill penguins?! oh, Yue sounds really cool. I should watch that show. Haku: they were a penguin ARMY. Penguins aren’t cute when they’re attacking! Zabuza: Besides, the sexiness of me cutting things up trumps cuteness any day. Haku: No it doesn’t. Zabuza: …-sighLucifel: You should! It’s great! Yue: Ready pup? Kiba: …sure? Yue: -creates several small crystals knives and shoots them at KibaKiba: WTF?!?!?!?! Happy Day of the Ninja, everybody! Yes, that's right! December 5th is YOUR holiday, since 2003, when it was created to combat Talk Like a Pirate Day. So enjoy yourselves! I give you all... squid. AHH SQUID! Marvelous squid. I mean, ten arms. TEN! Is there anything it can't do? Sorry, I ranted. I'm a ranter. Rantastic. Rantology... Drugs. I'm obviously on drugs, sorry. Shikamaru: What drugs am I on? Kisame: Do you smell like fish? Kyuubi: I dare you to say 'Moshi moshi'. Everybody: DAY OF THE NINJA!!!!!! Zakura: Oh too bad, it’s gone. Everybody: Awww… Orochimaru: YAY!! TEN ARMS!! Lucifel: Darlin, if you think YOU rant you obviously haven’t paid much attention to the other reviewers.

Shikamaru: …how should I know? Kiba: HOLY SHIT!! –running away from Yue frantically- WIDNY!! Yue: Windy doesn’t like you…-sets windy back at himKiba: DAMMIT!! Ah! I Missed a Chapter! NOES! Kisame: I do n— Itachi: Ooooh yeah. Like a nasty poon. Kurenai: ITACHI!! You can’t say that! Itachi: you mean poon? Gaara: POOOOOOON!!! Kurenai: Stop it! Kisame: …ouch, Ita… Kyuubi: Wtf? No. Naruto: C’mon, it’s not even a big thing! Yondaime: it’s not like you’re undermining your power…you could never do that… Naruto: Why did you say that like you mean it? Yondaime:…eh…ah…nothing… Kyuubi: -raises eyebrow- fine. Moshi moshi. Now, Yon… Yondaime: Eeep…yes? Kyuubi: C’mere for a minute. Yondaime: …heh… Naruto: NOOOOOOOOO!!!! Gaara: I know you have Lee and all, but how do you feel about GaaHina or GaaSaku, as a FANFICTION pairing. Not real life.

Hinata: You're always so quiet and in the background. For this chapter, or atleast this review, I'm placing this pretty collar thingy (that's unable to be removed manually, but has a timer) on you, so it automatically echoes your TRUE thoughts to the entire Room. Sakura: Me and my friends have been wondering this for a while... Why do you call Gaara ,"Gaara-kun", in the shippuuden episodes? Gaara: NONONNOONONONO!!! IT CAN NOT BE!!! Lee: YES! FOR IT IS YOU AND ME FOREVA!!! -they run around in hyper youthful circlesHinata: What—no! echoed Hinata thoughts: Naruto-kun looks So. Hot. When laughs. Naruto: huweh? Hinata: -mortifiedSakura: Oh because he’s…umm…cute…did you just here Hinata’s voice echoing through the walls too? Kabuto: At least it’s not…-pant-…just me…-pant-…how long are the damn steps?! Sakura: Damn, you need some endurance old man. Kabuto: -glaresIno: HI!! What’s up you two?! Sakura: -horrorKabuto: Oh, n-not much Ino… Ino: Mind if I you guys? Kabuto: Not really… Sakura: -twitchIno: -clings to Kabuto’s armHaku: the nailpolish i gave you changes color with you mood and you never run out of it Orochimaru: a box of "toys" to use with Jiraiya

Zakura:an album of yuri that shows your deepest desires Undinedemon Haku: Of course it doesn’t run out…isn’t it infinite? Zabuza: They’re fangirls. They’re not smart. Lucifel: Lies. These people rock. Haku: OOH! COLORS!!!! Orochimaru: Oh trust me, I already have PLENTY of toys… Jiraiya: So, we’re standing out here not making out why? Orochimaru: -wiggles eyebrowsZakura: YES!! Kurenai: Don’t you have ENOUGH yuri yet?! Zakura: Pssssh, NEVER. Kiba: DAMMIT! LOCK IS USELESS!! Yue: And that would be another reason why they don’t like you. No card is useless. Hm -thinks-i wrote a yuri incest story that i thought was awful, but everyone likes it and want me to write more, but i can think of any more yuri incest pairings besides karin&yuzu and hinataxhanabi (which is next), any ideas? Zakura: Tema/Ten. Tema/Hina. Ten/Ino…Me/hina… Hinata: I-I’m not into yuri things! Hinata’s thoughts: Even thought those girls are really pretty and kissable! Naruto: OO Zakura: -nosebleed- A-anyway…just be inventive, I’m sure you’ll think of something. – smileIno: So anyway, yaddayadd, blah blah blah… -she’s actually saying things, Im just lazy..-

-they a rom on the sideSakura: Rah! I can’t take this! –pulls Ino into the roomJiraiya: Are my lesbian moment senses tingling? Sakura: Ino!! You’re a bitch! Ino: W-what? Sakura: You’re always putting me down when you KNOW I’m prettier than you! You always say I’m useless when I do more for my friends that you EVER would. Because you’re a manipulative, cruel, CUNT. Every time I find a man you want him just because I do! I’m sick of it! SICK OF IT! Kabuto and I were going to hang out and talk and I want to forget, FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND, the situation I’m in and enjoy myself. Do you think you can let me do that? Can you? If not I’ll punch you down the fucking steps! Ino: Y-yeah…ok… Jiraiya: Nope, false alarm…damn… Ino: I’ll just go now… -leavesKabuto: Wtf? Sakura: Let’s keep going, k? Kabuto: …k… Aw, everyone learned something... Itachi: So... If I give you the stacks of fraps you'll be my best friend? If the answer is yes, I'll give you the fraps! Yondi: ...It's okay, I guess you can't help it... But, I have a gift for you! -gives him the photo of his wife in beautiful framesHaku: Can you do my nails too? -puppy eyesWhoopsie. forgot to give Haku his boots -hands over Haku's boots- I guess it's useful to have chapters that I didn't review on! -huggles YondiKankuro: Fuck you! The only thng I learned is how much I want to have a different life! Gaara: oh, shut it. Kankuro: -pout-

Itachi: YES!!!!! Kisame: You know you’ll hate her. Itachi: Are you kidding me?! SO not!!! Yondaime: -while talking to and flirting with Kyuubi- What’s this…oh… Kyuubi: just some ugly human woman. Yondaime: No…no she’s the most beautiful woman ever. –long sad moment- I don’t what I was thinking… -walks awayKyuubi: ….was I just dumped for a picture? Kiba: AKAMARU!! ATTACK!! Akamaru: ARRROOOOO!!! –CHAAAAARGE!!!Yue: Silly pup. –knocks him aside into the wall where he crumplesKiba: AKAMARUUUU!!! NOOOO!! –runs to himHaku: KYAAA! Of course! You gave me boots!!!! Zabuza: I liiiike those boots. –growlsHaku: Teehee. Hinata: wow, those are nice, Echo thoughts: I bet I could seduce Naruto in those! Naruto: OO Aleara: -Smiles- Really? I guess I'll meet you when you get out! But first I have a question...Umm...-Holds up two glaring chibis with chicken ass hair, pouting, one with gold eyes the other with onyx.- Does anyone know how to turn Morana-sama and Sasuchan back to normal? Itachi: Incest. It fixes everything. Gaara: OR FRAPS!!! Lee: OR YOUTH!!

Yue: Now you will both fall. –begins to charges a crazy blue-fire-arrow-thingKiba: NO! Don’t hurt Akamaru too! He has nothing to do with this! Yue: You’re the one who involved him. –shoots arrowKiba: -guards AkamaruAnd massive wings suddenly shield Kiba and Akamaru, absorbing the arrow-blast and fly card manifests. Yue: …wtf? Fly card: I like this kid. Yue: Do you? Fly: Yes. And I was talking to the others. And we agree. The boy is loyal, strong-willed, and rather funny. Yue: -raises eyebrowsFly: So, whether he can beat you or not. We like him. From now on, we’ll be “Kards” Yue: ….you gotta be kidding me. -all the cards fly from Yue’s possession to Kiba, circle around him and he is possessing a new, bad-ass staff and the Clow bookKiba: What now BEOTCH?! Yue: …whatever. –vanishesKiba: Hey, thanks man. Fly: Just prove me right, master Kiba. -Fly sinks into the bookKiba: Kick ass, Shino: …damn. Kiba: You’re impressed. it it. Shino: A little bit, yeah.

Kiba: -smoochesHT: your mean, oro. no brownies for you! amber: but you hate him. you wouldnt have given him brownies anyway. kata: omg! i want ht to draw you, zakura! but i cant see you, what do you look like. amber: ... does anyone want HTs legos? she'll probably give them to fox or something. Orochimaru: Awwww!! Pwease! –puppy eyesJiraiya: I’LL brownie you. Orochimaru: Ooooh. Zakura: I’m a black-haired Sakura with black clothes and slightly bigger boobs, I’m WAY sexier. Naruto: LEGOS!! Yondaime: -smiles gentlyLucifel: FANART!!!!!!! wow coolness! i have a question? how do you think youl feel when sasuke either comes back or you bring him back? Orochimaru: Horny. Zakura: Annoyed. Shikamaru: -twitchChoji: Pissed. Itachi: FUNKY!!! Ino: Hey guys I’m back. Zakura: How’d it go? Ino: She gave me the bitching of my life. I cried a little. Zakura: Nice. -they high fiveIno: So can I go now?

Zakura: hahah. Yeah right, Ino: -sighsGlad to be of assistance... Shino - when's the wedding? Sakura/Naruto - what do you think Sasuke's perfect world would be? and why would he want to get out of it? Shika - Can you see a rainbow if your facing into the sun? Get it wrong and I WIN! He-Yan Lucifel: You can assist me any time!! Shino: …eww…and I don’t know. In summer sometime. Kiba: Fuck yeah! Naruto: umm…probably a place with his family alive again…and he’d want to get out so he could be all emo and get the ladies again. Kiba: Lol, true, Neji: Hey, I’d still screw him if he was happy. Sakura: He’d probably want out to…I don’t know… Kabuto: YES! The top! –opens door and they are on a super-high balcony overlook a glorious starry-skied konohaSakura: Oh…wow…it’s beautiful. Kabuto: Yeah…kinda chilly though. Sakura; …uh, yeah… Kabuto: -puts an arm around herOk! I DID THE FIRECRACKER! HAHAHA BOM! ...Raina is teh back! (raina) shut up (kicks ground) (me) omg emo alert! (Raina) life sux... (me) OK THEN! Now first order of business (hands out fraps to Gaara and Itachi)Where do I keep getting all these fraps?

(Raina) uh huh... so I bit some little kid yesterday and now he is in the hospital and had to get a tetanus shot. I feel bad, should I go and apologize? Deidara: YAY! Emo-girl! Yeah! Itachi: -rolls eyesGaraa: I don’t know…AND I DON’T CARE!!! –sucks downNeji: I’ll suck down on you… Itachi: Yeah ya will!! Orochimaru: Nah, don’t apologize Kurenai: Of COURSE you should!! Orochimaru: Naaaaaaw. Sakura: So, Kabuto… Kabuto: Err, yes? Sakura: What do you really think of Ino? Kabuto: She’s a little sexy, but she just makes me nervous. Forward women scare me a little. Besides, I’m not usually one for women. Sakura: …Kabuto… Kabuto: Yeah? Sakura: why did you come back? Sasuke: -walks in- What’s up people? Kabuto: …you. Orochimaru: SASUKE!!!!!!!!!!!! Sakura: I—what? Kabuto: I love you. Sakura: …Sasuke’s here…

Shikamaru: -stands up, walks over to Sasuke- I want a divorce. Lucifel: Quick chapter. And now the fun REALLY starts!! So, yeah…sorry about this… this is a HORRIBLY late update. But it’s here. And the next one will be Monday or Tuesday at the VERY latest. Thanks everyone! See you soon!

Ask Sakura 55 3 Sasuke: W-what?

Kabuto: What? Orochimaru: Whaaaaaat? Itachi: wtf? Naruto: WHAT?!?!?! Shikamaru: You heard me. I want a divorce. Sakura: I have to go see him…-walks back down the stairsKabuto: -horror-struck into silenceSasuke: Shika, Shika, babe, darling…what? Shikamaru: I don’t know how much clearer I can be. I. Am. Leaving. You. Choji: -silent ‘yes’Sasuke: But you can’t—I mean—why? Shikamaru: -bearing down on him- Oh, I don’t know. Just spur of the moment really. Sasuke: Really? Shikamaru: -rolls eyes- Yes. Or maybe you could ask Neji, or Orochimaru, or YOUR BROTHER. Sasuke: Come on, Shi, what do they have to do with— Shikamaru: You know damn well what you’ve done with those people! While I stayed loyal to you! While I gave up everything for you! Sasuke: Honey, you didn’t. You still had your job, and your friends— Shikamaru: So now you’re gonna deny it? Of course. Of course you are. You’re such a damn good liar you even lie to yourself, isn’t that how it is? Sasuke: No! No, darling… Shikamaru: Stop with the pet names! How many times have you called NEJI darling? Neji: -slips into the shadowsSasuke: Never!!

Orochimaru: Yes, if I recall Neji was usually “sugar” or “baby” or “bitch”. Neji: -slides down the wall into a little ballShikamaru: Thank you, Orochimaru. Orochimaru: Oh, you know sometimes it was “honey”, or “Candy cane” …that one was weird…. Sasuke: ORO!!!!! Orochimaru: what?! I’m just making some input! Ino: Now wait one second here, you two were MARRIED? Shikamaru: WERE, yes. Sasuke: -taking his hand- We ARE married. Shikamaru: -pulling away- Not for long, punk. Naruto: …is that even LEGAL?! Tsunade: Yes. I did it. Naruto: that doesn’t mean a damn thing when it comes to legality! Tsunade: Shut up… Sasuke: Shika…Shika, listen. They were mistakes. I regret every one of them. But I mean, Orochimaru expects it of his pupils. And Itachi raped me… Itachi: LIAR!! That was only the first few times! Sasuke: Well, that’s how it started…you don’t understand how that psychologically fucked me up. Shikamaru: And Neji? Sasuke: I just wanted someone to control…since Oro and Itachi were always on top of me… Shikamaru: What about ME? Sasuke: Well, you were never really…

Shikamaru: Really, what? Sasuke: Well, you were never very INTO it. Shikamaru: Oh, I see. So this is all because “I didn’t give you enough sex”? Well, sorry ‘honey’, but you can’t put me in the little housewife position. I’m not fucking blame myself! Sasuke: I—I’m not asking you to! I told you! They were mistakes and I regret them! Neji: -snifflesShikamaru: you regret them NOW. Now that I’ve found out! If you had always thought that you would have come to me! And I would have FORGIVEN you…but not now. You can say nothing to make me forgive you. I’m done. –Takes a ring out of his pocket and throws it at Sasuke’s faceSasuke: …well…well FINE. You were a crappy husband anyway! You never cared! How was I supposed to feel with you being all apathetic all the time? Shikamaru: NO. I LOVED you. You knew that. I ALWAYS told you that. I let you stay with Orochimaru, and do all that fucked up shit. While I stayed home, and guarded all your little secrets. Do you know how hard it was to keep that from Naruto? My friends? I did it for you. Because I loved you. Sasuke: Bull shit! You did it because you didn’t care either way! You never fucking care! About ANYTHING. That’s why it’s so damn hard to love you Shikamaru! Because you’d rather fucking cloud-gaze all day than spend the night with me. Shikamaru: That’s because I don’t need sex! I can have a healthy relationship without it! Unlike YOU. That’s all you care about! I don’t get emotionally invested in things because I don’t want to get hurt. But I trusted you. I put everything I had into you— Orochimaru: That’s what she said. Shika/Sasu/Dei/Cho: SHUT UP ORO!!! Choji: (to Deidara) Why do you care? Deidara: Are you kidding? This is the best show YET. Popcorn? Choji: …-shakes headShikamaru: -continuing- So, guess what happened Sasuke? Go on. Guess

Sasuke: Shika, why are you making me— Shikamaru: GUESS. Sasuke: …you got hurt… Shikamaru: Yeah. I got hurt. So, be proud Sasuke, be very proud. You’re the last fucking person to ever hurt me. You taught brilliant Shikamaru one thing he still had to learn. It’s. Not. Worth. It. You aren’t, and no one else is either. I’m done. Fucking done. Sasuke: Shikamaru, listen…you’re over-reacting and-Shikamaru: I SAID—I’m done. –walks awayChoji: -followsSasuke: …uh…well…I didn’t… Itachi: You know what would make you feel better Oto-kun? Sasuke: What? Itachi: INCEST!!!! Sasuke: …You really have a one-track mind don’t you? Itachi: Oh hell yeah. Sakura: -standing stunned on the bottom step of the stairwellZakura: Soooo…after that rather long prelude…on with the show! Neji and Hinata; what do you think of NejixHanabi and HinataxHanabi pairings? Kisame you were so kawaii when you were little. WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?!?!?!?!? Sasori do you have an apprentice? Orochimaru do you intend to make your tongue an advanced bloodline? How does your toung fit in your mouth, even at normal length wouldn't it still fill your mouth and then you wouldn't be able to talk? Bye bye! Neji: Ewww. Hanabi’s too violent…I mean, you know, for a girl. Hinata: -horrified- No!! that’s incest!! Itachi: It’s JUST incest!

Sasuke: …you say that here? Itachi: Of course. –cuddles SasukeKisame: I grew up. It happens to men. Little boys are just oh so cute (case in point, Sasuke). And old men just get ugly. I mean, not even like Jiraiya, Jiraiya: HEY!! Kisame: But even Itachi is honestly ugly. Itachi: WTF?!?! Kisame: Men just ARE. Girls were meant to be pretty. If you’re a guy with a girlish face and figure good for you, but get naked and you’re still an ugly man. Deidara: That’s so sadly true!! Sasori: Not me. I am perfection. Oh, and I taught Kankuro his stuff. Kankuro: Hell yeah! Sasori: Why are you still flesh anyway? Kankuro: Cuz I like flesh… Sasori: Psssh, weak. Orochimaru: -trying to pull Sasuke out of Itachi’s arms- It goes back to completely normal size when inside my mouth. I mean, is it really that hard to believe? I pull out a SWORD too! Now give me the boy!!! Itachi: NEVAR!!! Sasuke: ... Jiraiya: Oro…what about me? Orochimaru: -zooms over and clings tightlySasuke: Oh ewww, old people sex! Orochimaru: Hey, you never complained before. Sasuke: You don’t count.

Taki: O.M.G. Kari: *take's out a pair of indestructable handcuffs with no key and clips one on sasuke and one on herself* you'll never leave my sight again. and chidori doesn't work on it either. or mangkeyo(gah i spelled it wrong) sharingan *hugs sasuke so tightly he can't breathe* Sasuke: Wtf? Why do I have a handcuff on me? Zakura: the other half is on a fangirl somewhere… Sasuke: Oh, haha, yeah. I was chillin with those girls earlier. They’re all hilarious. Shino: You don’t seam as broken up as I’d think Sasuke? Sasuke: He’s the smart one. He’ll come back to me eventually. He should consider himself lucky to have the most-wanted man in Naruto as his husband. Choji: -gets up to charge forwardShikamaru: -holds out a hand to stop him- Just leave him. He only wants a reaction…and, leave me alone for a bit too… Choji: But…but Shika… Shikamaru: Leave me ALONE. Choji: -scoots away a few feet*He cuddles his wife* Ah, so we -do- have childern. What fun. And don't worry, if you don't have 1,000 reviews by the time chapter 2 comes out, I'll make -sure- you do. Sasuke: YOU! *Evil, -insane- grin* First, you will live the torture of your family being slaughtered for -30- days, then you will have your hair burned off, then you will be dyed -compltely-black, oh, and I am going ot have -so- much fun with -you-. *Evil cackle of -doom-* Sakura: Sakura, Kabuto loves you, bloody fucking -ignore- Sasuke, he's a bloody prick. Either get with Kabuto, or -someone-that treats you -at least- like a human, or -so- help me...! PS *Throws Sasuke eating weasels in* Lucifel: yup, be proud, he’s writing some great fanfic’s as we speak! In fact, quick plug GO READ ceyx0091’s WORK PEOPLE!! IT’S GREAT!! THE FAMILY OF LUCIFEL!! Oh, and thanks darling. –winkSasuke: i—I will? Orochimaru: We need a loophole! Shika help!

Shikamaru: -sarcastic laugh and ignoresOrochimaru: …Kabuto? Kabuto: -standing behind Sakura- Er…can’t think of anything? Sasuke: But…but… Yondaime: Well, that was all said in future-tense right? So it’s not necessarily gonna happen NOW. Sasuke: YES!! Shikamaru: -grumbleOrochimaru: -hugglesSakura: I…I… Kabuto: -walks past, ignoringSakura: -whimperSasuke: Say what? Deidara: We already have one of those with Itachi, yeah! Itachi: hey… Kisame: LOL!! Sasuke: Little help?! Naruto: -knocks them out the window- Guess you owe me, huh? Sasuke: Yeah, yeah, whatever…. Naruto: -grumbleAlrighty then here we go... since christmas is rollin around and i luv u guys...YOU EACH GET 1000$! BUY YOURSELF SOMETHIN NICE! (Kekaiyou) yo this is my first time here so my first question is...(drumroll) why is Kurenai addicted to chocolate? (me) ok now for 2 of my favorite characters! HERES UR FRAPS I LUVS U GUYS ^^! (Raina) i hate everyone including you (

(Kekaiyou) I like you >:) (me) but thats in a perverted way and i like u but not in that way. But because I like you, when I rule the world your death will be quick and painless. (Kekaiyou) um thnx? HOW DO I GET HER TO LIKE ME ONE OF U HAS GOTTA KNOW!? (me) And...can I come to the wedding? I promise to be a good girl :) (all 3) MANDA PWNS U RULE WE R STRTING A MANDA FANCLUB 4 U! (me) okie, i think he got the message! Kisame, you can breathe underwater and on land right? Kiba: You know, this would be really great—IF THERE WERE THINGS TO BUY AROUND HERE!!! Naruto: …there’s the ramen stand…ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS OF RAMEN!!! HELL YEAH!! Kiba: Hey wait a minute…I could by like, a thousands rounds with Neji on this… Neji: YOU COULD NOT!! Kiba: Ok, FINE. A hundred. Neji: My body is not for sale!! Kiba: Oh riiiight I forgot, you don’t do it for the money. Unlike your mom. Neji: Fuck you. Kiba: Sasuke certainly did! Shikamaru: -twitchSasuke: -twitchNeji: -moaaaanShino: Knock it off, Kiba. Kiba: Yes love. –kissSasuke: and I thought those girls were kidding when they said all this was going on… please tell me Naruto’s still straight. Zakura: I think he’s the only one… Kurenai: Why? WHY?! WHY THE HELL NOT?! IT’S CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!

Deidara: Well, at least you’re easy to shop for, yeah. Kurenai: CHOCOLAAAAAAAATE!!! Gaara: FRAP!!!!! –sugar crashes- eeeeuuughh…must…drink…fraps… Lee: No, no, ODing on sugar is not youthful! Gaara: But…Neeeed… Lee: I need you. Normal you. –kissSasuke: How do you people not barf at your own fluffi-ness? Kyuubi: That’s what I always wondered…I figure Itachi’s incest fetish evens it out. Sasuke: Yeah…hey, who the fuck are you? Kyuubi: I’m Kyuubi, bitch. Sasuke: …shit… Deidara: Oh! Buy her presents, yeah! Orochimaru: Sex her up!! Sasori: two words: mind control. Tsunade: You CAN’T. you’re fan-boy. You will not get a girlfriend. Live with it. Everyone: Oooo. Ouch. Kiba: I don’t see why n— Shino: No. This will be a fan-free wedding. Kiba: Well, now I guess I do, Manda: …umm…ok? Whatever. I’m going back to hibernating. It’s cold in here. There’s a draft and it’s snowy outside. Haku: oh! I wanna play in the snow!! Zakura: Well…you asked for it..

-the room is now filled with snowZakura: SNOW-BALL FIGHT!! -ALL OUT WAR ENSUESKisame: hehe, I can breath going down ANYWHERE. -SNOWBALL TO THE FACEKisame: -cough, blubrble, glug- Who threw that? Kyuubi: Me, bitch! What of it?! Haku: WAIT! I call no super-ninja-OR-demon-powers. We should all play this like regular people! Zakura: So it shall be done! Kyuubi: not me— Zakura: do you REALLY wanna make Haku sad? Haku: -big puppy eyes- Pwease, Kyuubi? Kyuubi: -sigh- fine. Kisame: -chuck snowball at his head- HAH! GOTCHA BITCH!! Did you know 'frapper' is french for 'to strike' ... no wonder Itachi and Gaara like them heh XD The Almighty Kyuubi dumped... for a PIC-TU-ER Hows it feel to loose for the umpteenth time? Kards... because Kiba can't spell right? AND he has Akamaru as the sidekick and Shino can be damsel in distress... Sasuke...-twitches- God damn it! Buy some new hair you munchkin! Gaara: Oooh! Nice! –gets pushed into a snow bank by NarutoNaruto: Come on, Mr. Kazekage! Whatcha got? Huh? Watcha got?! Gaara: -tackles into a sheet of iceKyuubi: Umpteenth? That makes…twice? Wtf? Kisame: -plants another snowball in Kyuubi’s face-

Kyuubi: GODAMMIT!!! Kiba: Kards because I’m awesome! Shino: And NO. Kiba: Oh, you know you wanna be my damsel. Shino: Watch it or I’ll put you in distress. Naruto: -throws snowball at HinataHinata: He gave me attention…-faintsYou just blew my MIND. And not in the way that Itachi would volunteer to blow my mind. Deidara and Sasori: You two were awfully quiet. Were you doing sexy-time? Kankuro: Have you ever heard the song 'Muffin Man' by Frank Zappa? (Throws Stitch into the room... because everybody loves a cute, blue, fluffy, four-armed engine of destruction who can lift 30 times his weight and probably beat up most kages. Lucifel: I know. I rock. Deidara: Hell yeah, ye— -MOUTHFUL OF SNOWSasori: No. I was concentrating on puppet variations and Deidara was playing with clay. Deidara: -sliding snow kickSasori: OOMPH Kankuro: uh, duh! That song was practically MADE for me. Gaara: -sitting within a massive snow fort- It’s true. Temari says it used to be played for him when he was little all the time. Lee! How goes the draw bridge? Lee: Almost done! Stitch: IKEBANA!! Kyuubi: Who the fuck? Stitch: MEEGA CHOOPA!! Kyuubi: What is your problem, freak-face?

Stitch: Nala kilala!! Kyuubi: -picks up by scruff- Ok, away you go… Stitch: NAGA!! –flips Kyuubi over shoulder- Meega stay. Kiba: Did he just… Naruto: …flip Kyuubi? Stitch: Heh. –smileKyuubi: All right you little— Stitch: -jumps on head and knocks him down again, pinning him- Ehehehhe, what now, nala crista? Kyuubi: -tries to get up…failsDeidara: You can do it Kyuubi! Forget haku’s rules! Go full-power!! Kyuubi: I…GRAH!!...am!! Stitch: EEEHEHEHEHHE!!! –picks Kyuubi up, throws him through the snow-fort wallsGaara: Hey, bitch! Stitch: Mega nala keba!! -jumps after Kyuubi, grabbing him as he starts to stand and throwing him back in the other directionKyuubi: -shakily gets to his knees, Stitch drop kicks him and he collapsesStitch: Ehehe, bye!! –runs offNaruto: …holy… Kiba: …shit… Naruto: FREE HITS ON KYUUBI!! Everyone: -pelts Kyuubi with snowballs(throws in Ask a ninja-ninja) Happy soon to be christmas everyone! (throws in loads of presents and fraps)

Naruto: Ninja’s aren’t fat! Ask a Ninja Ninja: This is a ninja deception technique, kid…you wouldn’t know. You’re wearing ORANGE. Choji: Hey wait a minute… Ask ninja: Anyway, I have many questions to answer, and since you kids obviously know nothing about ninja I should start right away—everything about ninja’s is secret!! – dashes awayEveryone: …wtf? Sasuke: Does this stuff happen all time? Everyone: Oh yeah. Everyone: PRESENTS!! Haku: break for presents everyone! Sasuke: How long you gonna stand there, Sakura! Come on! Ino: Sasuke! What about me? Sasuke: Whatever… Sakura: Sasuke…noticed… Naruto: Isn’t he acting kind of weird? Sakura: He noticed me…-follows all giddyKabuto: -watches sadlyKimimaro: S’up? Kabuto: I think I’m one inch away from a mental break down… Kimimaro: C’mon. Let’s talk. –takes him to the snow fortZakura: Oioioi!! Did you get Ino in here just to get a you-like reaction out of Sakura? Explain! Shika: You can't see a rainbow unless the sun is behind you, we had to do weeks of that crap at school. Lucifel: Are you going to do another x-mas special? Or mebbe even a new year one..

Good luck with your finals though, I'm sure you'll get uberly awesome marks. -Throws in roulette wheel of costumes- Spin the wheel and get the outfit you land on. There's unlimited spins so have fun! Lucifel: First off, thankies for the wishes about finals. Luv ya. And I did do pretty damn well. Zakura: Ye-no-may—JUST READ THE DAMN STORY!! Ino: Oi, Z, you said if I made Sakura stick up for herself I could have Sasuke, he’s busy cuddling it up with those freaks! Zakura: I said you could have him…and then under my breath I added “if you can get him” now fuck off bitch. Ino: I hate you… Shikamaru; Well, whoop de fucking do. Haku: -gasp- COSTUME WHEEL!! Everyone spin and then we’ll continue the snowball fight! -everyone is soon in some sort of ridiculous costumeNaruto: -in lederhosen- I’m r-really…c-c-c-cold… Haku: lol!! You could always re-spin! Naruto: And end up in the bunny costume? Lee: I AM A RABBIT OF YOUTH!!!! Naruto: …no thanks… Kiba: Dammit! No matter how many times I spin I keep getting the damn FAIRY COSTUME!! Sasuke: Because apparently you ARE a fairy. O MY GOSH! I was at the mall and I saw a guy who actual wore chicken butt hair -- now they are everywhere! Sasuke how do you feel about starting a fashion trend? Sasuke: Pretty much the same. I always was number one at everything. Ino: Teeheehee, yeeeah…

Sasuke: Don’t you agree, Sakura? Sakura: You want…my…opinion? Kabuto: grr… Kimimaro: Don’t look at them. Talk to me.. Kabuto: Well…I…told her I loved her. Kimimaro: And? Kabuto: she ran downstairs to see Sasuke. Kimimaro: Oh…ouch… Kabuto: Yeah… -long pauseKimimaro: I really have no advice to give. Kabuto: I know… Kimimaro: But I have been told I’m rather huggable. Kabuto: -hugsKabuto - If there was one thing you could have at this moment, what would it be? Kabuto: You have to ASK?! Kimimaro: Excuse us…we were having a MOMENT! -moves camera awayYes we have a camera now…shut up! Dude... Sasuke, what's up? Sasuke: Not much. Just chillin with the ladies…and Neji. Neji: I’m all the way over here!! Kiba: But you know— Neji: You know nothing! From now on I am a whore no more!!

Everyone: WHAT?!?!?!? Neji: I mean, look what I did to Shikamaru! How many other people have inadvertently hurt? And I KNEW that was probably happening. Itachi: but…what about people like me and Oro, we’re whores too! You can bang us! Neji: No…no I’m done crying out for attention! I’m done dis-respecting myself and everyone! I am going clean! From now on, I will be committed to one person only!! Naruto: who’s that? Neji: …I don’t…well, I find one!! Lee: I applaud you Neji! How about TenTen? Neji: Who? ..SASU-CAN?! What. The. Hell. You're supposed to be helping me study for mid! And making my coffee! ...Did I do something wrong? Have I neglected you? Oh my god! If it was the Kyuubi thing...I'm so sorry! I never meant for you to feel unloved! Oh, but I still love you too Kyuu-chan! (oh, and Itachi-san too I guess...) Um, shit... I didn't want to ask this in front of Sasuke but... What do you do when you're torn between two mu- er..."friends"? Sincerely (and slightly Nervous), Kryah Sasuke: Naw, it’s cool. I just needed to drop by on my favorite people. –winks at SakuraSakura: Hragm? Kyuubi: -getting up slowly- Oh, my head… Naruto: YOU GOT PWNED BY STITCH!! Kyuubi: -lobs ice-ball at his HEADKurenai: Well, a real friend wouldn’t MAKE you choose. You should be able to love both equal— Deidara: HAVE THEM FIGHT TO THE DEATH, YEAH!!!!

Zabu/Kisa/Oro: HELL YEAH!! HT: i still dont like you oro- SASUKE!?!?!?!?!?!? -faintsamber: but i wasnt suprised about what kabuto said. it was OBVIOUS. if you were trying to hide it, do a better job next time. kata: itachi, do you want amber's scythe? its shiny and controls electricity. HT: -is back- shikamaru! how could you want a divorce with SASUKE!!?!??!? HES THE BEST! kata: -gives naruto legos- poni, why didnt you give them to fox? Kabuto: well…shut up!! Kimimaro: Come on, lets get some bitches’s faces covered in SNOW!! Kabuto: Sounds good. Sasuke: S’up girls. Naruto: LEGOS!!! –starts a fortLee: We’re playing with snow! You must make a snow-fort! Naruto: Lee, have you EVER seen ANYTHING more youthful than legos?! Lee: …you make a good point my friend!! Gaara: -sighItachi: why not! –takes scythe and starts swinging wildlyShikamaru: -raises eyebrow- Suuure. Sasuke: Yes, well, I AM the best. It’s good point. –sideways glance at ShikaShikamaru: -ignoresGood boy Kabuto-kun!! You finally itted your feelings! -Gives Oro a Hiei plushie.So...Have you ever thought of getting your tongue peirced? I mean all sexes dig it! .- Oh yeah! Chimey says she's in your debt Sasori! You killed the creepy child! but what did you do to the body? Well, gotta fly! Need to go straighten up for Zakura-sama... Kabuto: -after nailing Kankuro in the head with a snowball- Don’t you ‘good boy’ me!! Orochimaru: -makes a fort with Manda- AHAHAHHA!! I ARE INVINCIBLE!! THIS IS THE SANIN KINGDOM!! Come on Tsu!!

Tsunade: You want me to team up with you sex-addicts? Jira/Oro: HELLZ YEAH!! Tsunade: …well ok… Orochimaru: YAY! HIEI! He can be our mascot! Hiei: ACHOO!! Oh man…that doesn’t bode well…at all… Orochimaru: Ooooh!!! I should!! Tsunade: If you don’t get to the front and start throwing snowballs I’ll pierce it for you! Orochimaru: coming!! –skips upSasori: I’m preparing it for turning into a puppet as we speak. –smirk- Deidara! Stop blowing up the snow fort! You’re ruining the whole point!! Deidara: I am not, yeah! It keeps pelting the enemy with ice blocks! YEAH!! Sasori: And us! Deidara: But we’re super strong, yeah!! Sasori: -sighZakura: Lookin forward to it babe. W00T! You tell that biotch Shikamaru! Did anyone in the room know that they were married? Sasuke have you ever regretted sleeping with anyone? Is there anyone that you wouldn't sleep with? Kurenai how do I get over a crush on my teacher? Choji: I knew…-sighTsunade: I DID it. I hope I knew. Pretty sure no one else knew. Orochimaru: Well, I did wonder where Sasuke went sometimes…and then when I found Shika in his room once… Kabuto: and you never suspected anything? Orochimaru: …nope!

Kabuto: …-throws snowball to the faceSasuke: No. Not really. I make good choices with who I bed. –glances at ShikaShikamaru: -ignores stillSasuke: And yes, I’d NEVER fuck Choji…-shudders- I mean, who WOULD? Choji: -fumesShikamaru: He’s not worth it Choji… Choji: Aren’t I?? Shikamaru: Just calm down… Kurenai; you…ah… Orochimaru: DON’T!!!! JUST SCREW HIM!! Lucifel: he’s MARRIED. Orochimaru: So? I’ve apparently done a married guy. Lol. Kiba: Does anyone else find it funny that even though Sakura was supposed to run this thing Kurenai ends up dishing out all the advice? Shino: Word. Sakura: Who would you rather have SasGay or Kabuto? Ino:...Stop crying,you desurvie it. SasGay:Who would you rather date Naruto or Gaara? Sakura: Eh? Wha? Zakura: oh my god you little bitch… Sakura: -garbleIno: Spell deserve right first, bitch. Sasuke: Gaara, no question about it. Lee: HE IS MINE!! –pelts with snow ballsNaruto: doesn’t that come off as a little overprotective, Gaa?

Gaara: Nah. It’s cute. Lol. Naruto: …oook… Kurenai: Why the hell does Kishimoto hate you so much? So far, all you can do is be a smexy slut and make someone believe they are being captured by a tree. Are you really a genjutsu expert? Sakura: If pink isn't your natural hair color, what is your natural hair color? By the way, you got to prove it's your natural hair color, and there's only one way to do that :D Sasuke: If you really wanna kill Itachi, why don't you just put acid in his nail polish and shampoo? Deidara: Who has perkier breasts, you or Ino? Kurenai: yes! Of course…I…am…-sniffle- I REALLY DO HAVE SKILLZ!!! I DO!!! – sobsHinata: K-kurenai Sensei!! Tsunade: Get ‘er while she’s down boys!! -the sannin pelt them with snowballsSakura: We already went over that! It is natural! Deidara: Eww, yeah…in the shower… Choji: And why wouldn’t it be? Our mom’s hair is after all… Itachi: Oh EWW I forgot you two were half-related… Choji: Shudup. Ino: That would explain the pudge… Sakura: FUCK YOU!! Sasuke: Oooh, yummy. And honestly I know killing Itachi will do no good. Screwing him is better anyway. Itachi: hell yeah! Sasuke: Besides, he’s a cosmetics GENIUS he’d know in a heart beat if something was wrong.

Deidara: that’s a stupid question…Ino of course. I don’t have breast…but if I did they’d be awesome YEAH!! –puffs chestTsunade: EASY TARGET!! ATTACK! ATTACK!! ATTACK!!!!!!!! -there is a massive snow war at the end of which only the Sannin stand victorious.Tsunade: WE WON!! FUCK YEAH!! Orochimaru: YAAAAY!! Jiraiya: WOOOOOT!!! -group sannin hugLucifel: That’s it for now. I’m surprised so few people asked Sasuke a question…wow. Anywho, two more and then we’re done. Wow. Bye all! Love ya!

VERY IMPORTANT!!!!!! Ok, I’m running a contest of “bests”. Here I’m putting up a list of the bests and their nominees!! EVERYONE should vote on each category. Just say your number of choice and what category with a review for this chapter, k? There might be prizes involved, I don’t know yet. Mostly this is just for kicks to celebrate ONE WHOLE YEAR of AskSakura. Here they are:

Best Running Gag 1 Skillet 2 Incest 3 Neji is a Whore 4 Kiba Kards/Pokemon Mastery 5 Frappuccinos 6 Kabuto’s a nerd Best Unexpected Romance (one sided or otherwise, the romances that made you go ‘huh, really?’): 1 Kimi/Kabu 2 Saku/Kabu 3 Shika/Sasu 4 Kyuu/and the Uzumakis Best Plausible Romance (as in, when you watch the show you can see with just a little bit of or no squinting): 1 Gaa/Lee 2 Kiba/Shino 3 Haku/Zabuza 4 Jira/Oro Best Guest Character (anyone that was thrown in, hung out for a while and was gone by the end): 1 Ed 2 Ayame 3 Anko 4 The Star Wars Cast Best Theme: 1 D&D 2 Rescue Party 3 School Days 4 Masquerade 5 Tournament 6 Pirates Best “awww” Moments: 1 Tickle Orgy 2 Kimi/Gaa friendship (Kimi’s ittance of love for Kabu) 3 Haku/Zabu Wedding 4 Kiba’s Wedding Speech 5 Hinata and Haku…nuff said Best Dramatic Moment: 1 Saku/Kabu Pool Scene

2 Kimi’s Second Death 3 Jira/Oro get-together. 4 Shika’s Divorce Statement (the whole beginning of last chap) Also, if you have any personal favorite moments, or any fun Ask Sakura moments to share (you know, any memories about it that stand out) please do share them! If you’ve been around since the beginning, share your story of how you’ve changed and your view of the story has changed during your time reading it. If I get a lot of “Ask Memories” I’ll make a special devoted to them, lol. So, anyway, PLEASE vote! This is another great way to add up the review count!! Also, I wish I could tell you which chapters these are from but if you wanna look ‘em over you’ll have to find ‘em yourselves…heh. Thank you! Love ya’ll!! See you Monday for the last review-able chapter!!

Ask Sakura 56 2 Lucifel: Oh my god you guys…you did it. One Thousand Reviews. –gets teary eyed- I love you all SO much. The official one-thousandth review was Undine Soul’s voting review, but I would like to give the honorary credit to the people who spent good hours boosting the review count just to make me feel a little more accomplished. These

beautiful people are; Emperor Jaden, Ceyx0991, MoonIdiot, Darkens4841, Kohaku Kawa, He-Yan and the many people who split their reviews even a little bit for me. Thank you all so much. This means so much to me. Anyways. On with the chapter, eh? The snow is gone and everyone is wrapped in blankets, slowly dripping dry, cradling hot cocoa that has magically appeared for cuteness factor. The Sannin, as spoils of their victory have claimed the warmest spots by a big brick fireplace, and sit wrapped in one big fluffy blanket, with Tsunade in the middle. Besides that the usual couples have formed, except Neji is hanging out with Kiba and Shino, and Naruto is asleep in his dad’s lap. Sasuke is being fawned over by Ino, Itachi, Deidara, Kisame and Sakura sits by shyly. Kimimaro is still comforting Kabuto who often sends a glare Sasuke’s way. Tsunade: When you change out of your twenty year old Henge form, do your breasts get all wrinkly and deflate xD Choji: Another awesome person. For your present, I give you an entire kitchen equipped with every possible utensil and a "500 ways to cook Kisame." Cookbook Hinata: Your too shy, you need to get more action -Bites Hinata's, leaving a large heart mark on her neck.- That's my Curse of the Sexy Beast. Now, anytime someone asks you for the smex, you can't refuse. Ever. Tsunade: Fucker. If I wasn’t so toasty right now I’d come kick your ass. Orochimaru: Hee. –snugglesJiraiya: So…do they? Tsunade: -punches- What do you think?? Yondaime: Well…since that’s when all her illusions break wouldn’t her boobs get really small? Tsunade: …You’re lucky you’ve got your son in your lap… Yondaime: What? Well, don’t they? Tsunade: -death glareOrochimaru; You know, small boobs aren’t bad. If they’re nice and perky then they can be even better! Jiraiya: …I don— Orochimaru: -reaches behind Tsunade and PINCHES-

Jiraiya: A-ah, don’t think that’s such a bad idea…heheh… Tsunade: -rolls eyes and snuggles deeper into the blanketChoji: Oh wow! Awesome! I hardly ever get stuff! Shikamaru: You’re just lucky you haven’t been here long… Choji: …well why the fuck would I could Kisame?! Kisame: I’m the tastiest mother fucker out here!! You little punk… Deidara: -bitesKisame: WTF?! Deidara: Mmmm, he’s right, yeah. Like tuna. Kisame: I do not taste like tuna! Deidara: Yes you do, yeah! Itachi: -snicker, snickerHinata: eep…but…but… Kurenai: And WILL anyone ask for sex?! –raging fire eyesEveryone: …no… Kurenai: Good. Zakura: -whimper, whine*Having reverted to his -totally- evil form to torture Sasuke, he has a hot, ionate sex session with Lucifiel. Lasts 10 hours* Sasuke: Your torture begins..now. *Does all the things he promised he'd do, and also turns him into a girl. Then cackles evilly, in a way that even some of the more evil people in there will find evil* Shika: Damn -right- dump his ass...And set him on fire! And strangle him! MAKE HIS LIFE HELL! Lee: I dare you to be evilly youthful for 10 seconds. Just like me. *Evil youth laugh* P.S. *Throws the Aliens from the soon coming Alien vs. Predator in, after programming them to rape Sasuke*

-ten marvelous hours laterLucifel: hehehe…-smileSakura: No! Sasuke: Fuck right no!! –hides behind ItachiZakura: No? Sakura: I’m putting my foot down as the main character here. It’s not right to do that to Sasuke! Zakura: And why the fuck not? You let all that other shit happen to Kabuto, Sakura: That wasn’t nearly as bad! Zakura: Still, why do you care now? Sakura: He doesn’t deserve it! Zakura: And why not? Because he just got dumped? –snortSakura: I still say no. His mind is fucked up enough without all that shit re-surfacing… Zakura: …I say it’s up to Shikamaru. Sakura: …ok. That’s fair. Shikamaru: What? Oh…-loooooong sigh- Sakura’s right. He doesn’t deserve it. Zakura: -jaw drops- What the FUCK shika? Shikamaru: -shrugs- It’s bad karma. Zakura: Fine. He won’t have to relive his families massacre or be disfigured…but he is turning into a girl. Sasuke: What? NOOO!! Itachi: NOOOO!!!! Shikamaru: uh…thanks? And no, I don’t feel like it. Choji: Then can I?

Shikamaru: No. Choji: shit. Sasuke: Dammit…this sucks….-sulksKabuto: You SEE?! He’s an emo prick!! Kimimaro: -pat, patItachi: But it’s so CUTE when he sulks!! Ino: Yeeeah… Sakura: -blushItachi: -kissesSasuke: -kisses backSakura: -twitchNaruto: ACK!! WHY?!?! Yondaime: Well you woke up fast… Naruto: Like I could sleep with sick shit like THAT going on?! Itachi: now, now…it’s— Sasuke: --just incest. Itachi: you’re so awesome. Even with boobs…. Sasuke: I only said it to mock you. Itachi: Of COURSE you did. –pounces and makes out withJiraiya: …-twitch- Oh god…I can’t look away… Orochimaru: Ah! See! He has perky boobs! Tsunade: One more reason NOT to want them. Lee: How can youth be evil! That…that…-hyperventilates-

Gaara: Oh thanks a lot…you broke him… Lee: -lies twitching on the ground- It is impossible!! Gaara: yes, yes…shhh…there’s no such thing as evil youth… Zakura: Before you can say a damn thing Sakura-teme, the aliens are coming. Kyuubi: -jumps upNaruto: HA! You’re scared of aliens now! Kyuubi: I am not! Aliens: ROAR!! –rush for SasukeKyuubi: -jumps among them and starts tearing them apart violently-after many bloody minutesKyuubi: I just wanted a chance to re-boost my ego. –wipes aliens guts of his face and flicks at NarutoYondaime: -cleans faceZakura: damn you Kyuubi!! Kyuubi: and oh yeah, annoy the fuck out of Zakura… Ceyx: sorry for reviewing last chapter. I think I was a little annoyed that you didn't post my review or something. Oops? I'm personally glad that Konoha allows gay marriage. I find it ridiculous that these days gay people are treated like second class citizens. I should know. I'm a second class petty officer and everyone treats me like crap. Ash: I will give Kankuro a ton of muffins if someone doesn't seriously kick Sasuke's ass. Ceyx: So Jiraiya, how does it feel to be dead. Ash: Wait Neji isn't gonna be a whore anymore? He looks enough like a girl that I'd be willing to do him. Darn. Since I think that Zakura hasn't gotten laid in a while, I'm throuwing in one of the few lesbians! *boots Temari into there* Ceyx: Why are there no black ninjas? Everyone thinks Shino's black because of the afro but he seems like he's not... Lucifel: Not put up your review? That’s not possible. I ALWAYS do. You must have missed it. And yeah, gay marriage is the awesome! Itachi: Ahhh…refreshing…

Sasuke: -blushing, wipes mouthIno: Huh? What happened? I was distracted by Alien-crunching… Sakura: me too… Itachi: Oh nothing…just— Sakura: Stop right there! I don’t want to hear it! Ino: you know…even as a girl you’re really cute Sasuke…did I ever tell you I was bi? Sasuke: Nice. –smirkChoji: You see, Shikamaru! It’s for the greater good! Shikamaru: Choji…don’t…he just wants the attention. Choji: But what about the muffins? Kankuro: -is is position to pounce should they appearShikamaru: I have this just in case of such an emergency. –hands bottle of chocolate sauce- You know what to do. -As the muffins drop in Choji splashes all of them with chocolate sauce, making Kurenai and Kankuro meet over them and partake in a fight to the death!!!!!!!!Hinata: WAAAA!! Kurenai-sensei!!! Zakura: It’ll be ok Hinata…-puts arm around her shouldersHinata: -leans in closeZakura: -thinks- SCORE!!!! Jiraiya: …I’M DEAD?!? WHEN DO I DIE?!?! I MUST KNOW!! Tsunade: …what? Orochimaru: Well, supposedly I die too… Tsunade: What? That’s so not cool! I am not ok with this! Jiraiya: YOU’RE not ok?! I’m gonna DIE!!

Yondaime: Guys, relax, I’m sure they’re just scaring you. Jiraiya: -whimperOrochimaru: Well, we had better enjoy what we have while we can. Jiraiya: Hell yeah! –goes for the boobsTsunade: -COCKBLOCK- Nice try. Jiraiya: Awww… Kiba: I know, right? It’ll be so WEIRD!! Neji: Oh screw you. Kiba: I thought you weren’t doing that anymore? Neji:…why do I put up with you? Kiba: -shrugs and goes to play with AkamaruShino: You don’t have to, you know. Neji: Yeah I do. He’s one of the only people I’m genuinely friends with…everyone else nwas fuck-buddies…I’ve always valued Kiba for that. Shino: …really? Neji: Yeah. I mean, he drives me fucking insane but…I really appreciate his friendship. It means a lot. Shino: Holy shit. I never would have guessed. Neji: I figure he doesn’t like me much but— Shino: No. He does. When he doesn’t like someone he either ignores them or punches them. It’s the people that mean the most to him that he makes fun of. He doesn’t realize it himself but…it’s true. Neji: Oh…wow… Temari: Oh come ON. It was just getting good! Gaara: Heh, what?

Temari: THE SEX!!!! Gaara: …oh…. Temari: Wait, what is Kankuro doing? Gaara: Fighting to the death over muffins. Temari: Again? –sighs and walks over to Kankuro, and reaches forward and starts rubbing behind his earsKankuro: -instantly calms down and leans against her lovinglyTemari: So did you forget this trick? Gaara: Well…yeah… Temari: -sighs- How many times have I shown you? Gaara: I know, ok! I never really cared… Temari: -sighs- you gonna be good now, Kankuro? Kankuro: Ehh…yesh… Temari: Good boy. Now, Tenten’s waiting…-walks offZakura: Hey! That was my ride! Deidara: hah! I get it, yeah! Sasori: -pat patYondaime: Well, when the original culture is entirely asian it stands that usually black children don’t spring up miraculously… Naruto: But why weren’t there any to begin with? Yondaime: -shrugs- Cuz we’re asian. Kiba: NINJANESE!!! Neji, don't give up your whoring ways! It's what makes you...you at least in this fic) Question for everybody: Has anyone seen the disgusting video on the internet that

involve two girls and a cup? Apparently its so disgusting that even the sickest, most insane people get irked by it. Neji: Well…I guess I’m just gonna have to re-make myself. Hinata: -watching merrily as Kurenai devours muffins- Well I-Im proud of you Neji. Neji: -beamsOrochimaru: OMG TWO GIRLS AND CUP HELL YEAH!! Sasori: Yeah that’s actually part of initiation into akatsuki. You have to watch that and not get nauseas… Kisame: I PWNED it. Itachi: How so? Kisame: I was fucking AROUSED. Itachi: …ewwww… Kisame: hehe. Hell yeah. Deidara: I thought it was hilarious, yeah. Jiraiya: What— Tsuande: Shh, you don’t wanna know. Temari: -pokes head back in- and oh yeah, some raging fangirls declaring ‘give us back Sasuke’s package’ gave me this. –hands Itachi brown potion and leaves againSasuke: YES! What is it? Itachi: A potion of gender changing….now we can both be girls! –puts potion to mouthSasuke: NOO!!! Itachi: I was kidding…here. –givesSasuke: -downs and is again a man- So anyway Ino…being and bi and all…ever try going both ways at once? Ino: Ha? Well…sure…

Sasuke: Sakura? Sakura: Er…what? Sasuke: What do you girls say? You two, me and one bed? Ino: Hell yeah!! Sakura: …no! Kabuto: -perks upSasuke: Now I understand you don’t want to share but— Sakura: No…not that’s not it at all…you…you’re just doing this to get attention from Shikamaru! Sasuke: The fuck I am. I’m a free man now and enjoying it. Sakura: That’s almost WORSE. I mean…what kind of sick fuck… Sasuke: Sakura, Sakura baby… Sakura: Baby?! What the FUCK Sasuke. You think calling me some generic pet name will bring me back. FUCK YOU, you never for one second gave a shit about me when I ACTUALLY cared. And you know what, even if it wasn’t romantically I at least always respected you and cared about you as a FRIEND. But now…now I see how slimy and conceited and manipulative you really are…you really were. All along. Sasuke: Sakura…you’re just seeing things badly…it’s not what it seems. Sakura: then what is it? Sasuke: …-silenceSakura: Figures. Sasuke: Well, come on. After all the time we speant together? After how close we all were? You loved me, didn’t you? Are you just gonna throw that away? Sakura: No…no I’m going to very carefully BURY IT. I was crazy to think you were the one. I was fucking BLIND. Forget you. I don’t need to be taken for granted and manipulated. Not when there’s something so much better for me…-turns suddenly to KabutoKabuto: -stunned into silence-

Sakura: Do you still mean what you said? Even after I was an idiot and a bitch and so….so stupid and cruel to you? Kabuto: …always… Sakura: Then…-looks around nervously- Fuck it. I love you Kabuto!! Kabuto: -blankSakura: …Oh…Oh I’ve totally fucked up haven’t I— Kabuto: -gathers her into his arms, and kisses her deeply, lovingly.Orochimaru: KYAAAAA!!!!!! Tsunade: -flinches at Oro yelling in her earHina/Haku: -crying happilySasuke: -stunned and horrified-Kabuto spins Sakura around, he’s smiling like an idiot, she’s practically in hysterics of happinessTsunade: …for serious? Jiraiya: No fucking way. Naruto: Oo Ino: YAY!!! Sasuke’s mine! Sakura: -as Kabuto puts her down gently- Kabuto…I…I mean…I’m so….just… Kabuto: Shut up and kiss me again… -They kiss againEveryone: -APPLAUSEWTF?!?!!? SASUKE?!?!?! SHIKAMARU!?!?! DIVORCE!?!?! I'm high on something.. -glomps sasuke- OMFG I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! -smooches- I couldn't care LESS of what you think! HOW DID IT FEEL WHEN ITACHI FUCKED YOU!? Haku: I'm glad you liked the boots ^^ -hugs-

Sasuke: Er, yes, yes it’s all very intense and dramatic. –winces through hugItachi: Oooh, I wanna hear this. Sasuke: Obviously, fucking amazing. Shikamaru: -is busy applauding lightly along with everyone elseItachi: yay! Jiraiya: -disgustHaku: Of course! They’re awesome! Zabuza: -purr- and sexy, -completely shocked- Sasuke...You... -slaps- MAN WHORE! BITCH! WOMANIZER! TOTALLY HOT AND SEXY BEAST With wonderful hair... -swoons and hugs Sasuke's legs- I still hate you, you know... -kisses feetSakura: WAKE UP, IDIOT! Go to Kabuto! Forget Sasuke! -pushes Sasuke away into the snow/corner and follows- Sasuke is not the one for you! Itachi: Are you going to sex Sasuke now? If you will, can I ?? -once again, a giant group hug- I LUV U ALL! Merry christmas!! -throws in a big box covered in shiny read wrapper- you'll get any present from this box, just tell it to the box. See ya! Itachi: Well at least the fangirls still adore you right? Sasuke: Yeah…umm, can you excuse me for a minute? Ita/Ino: but whyyyy? Sasuke: -sighs and gets up and walks over to NarutoNaruto: Huh? Sasuke: …can I…talk to you? Naruto: Umm… Yondaime: -gives a ‘you better’ lookNaruto: …sure… Sasuke: -goes to the pool room-

Sakura: I’m awake already…-looks at Kabuto dreamilyKiba: So, what happens when we leave? -record scratching to a stopKiba: Ooooh…whoops. Sakura: -goes tense- What…what will we do… Kabuto: -buts his hand to her cheek- I don’t care. Maybe it won’t pull through, maybe it will continue but…right now we have time to be together. Let’s use it. Sakura: -swells with joy and jumps onto him again and kissesOrochimaru: KYAAAAAA!!! Tsunade: My EARS!!! Orochimaru: But it’s so CUTE! Itachi: no. It’s brother thing. You understand, Jiraiya: I so wanted to keep living in denial… Haku: PRESENT!!!! –plays with ribbonHinata: Kyaa! –goes and pulls a kitty out of the boxKurenai: -starts taking infinite chocolate outGaara: FRAPS!!!! Itachi: WHOOOO!! Zakura: ok, that’s a little luxurious and I haven’t flexed my power in a while so— -destroys giftboxKyuubi: Nice. Hinata: -sniffleZakura: -instantly reconstructs giftboxHinata: YAY!!

Zakura: -meltsSakura: Do you like bubbles? Ino: What kind of shows you like? Sasgay: What's your fav. Word to say? -gives every one bubbles- You just got to love them bubbles! Haku: I have a question!! Zakura: yeah? Haku: Who DOESN’T like freaking bubbles?! Everyone: -no responseHaku: You see! Bubbles rule!! Ino: Oh, you know. The Hills, Laguna Beach— Sakura: think of the most most stuck-up snobby people you know (like Ino) put them on TV, and she’ll gush all over it. Kabuto: zing. –smoochesIno: -glowerZakura: -snickerSasuke: -in the pool room with Naruto- My…what? Naruto: -shrugs- We’ve all learned not to ask. Sasuke: I don’t know! Smock! Anyway…Naruto… Naruto: Er, yeah? Sasuke: …I’ve fucked up. Naruto: …yeah. Sasuke: I, I did so much stupid shit. I hurt you and Sakura…but that…that was at least for a good REASON. What I did to Shikamaru….what I’ve been doing to myself…god I fucked up so badly. Naruto: I’ll say.

Sasuke: -sits heavily, pulling at his hair- Why am I so stupid Naruto? Why do I do nothing right? Naruto: Well, shit happened in your past so…I mean it probably just really messed with your head, y’know? Sasuke: Shit happened to YOU! And all you do is help people! I…I just make everything horrible…Shikamaru was the best thing that ever happened to me. And I…I took it for granted, and treated him like dirt. –tears upNaruto: Wow…you really are a little emo bitch. Sasuke: …excuse me? Naruto: I mean Come ON, Sasuke. What’s done is done. And yeah, you fucked up. But you’re not gonna ERASE it. You can only fix it. Sasuke: How the fuck do you fix something this major? Naruto: With long hard work. Sasuke: -moooanNaruto: Oh come ON. You work hard to be strong enough to kill your incest-loving brother but you can’t work hard to win back someone important to you?! Sasuke: but… Naruto: Obviously you really don’t give a fuck about him— Sasuke: DON’T say that…I love him…he’s the only one that understands and s my choices. He is THE most important thing to me! …FUCK Itachi. FUCK Orochimaru — Naruto: you already have. Sasuke: …well, despite that…Shikamaru is the number one thing! I need to get him back Naruto! Naruto: I don’t think you can. Sasuke: But…but he’s… Naruto: You still back-stabbed him. You destroyed your relationship and broke his heart. I don’t think there’s any ‘getting back’ to be done…just getting forgiveness.

Sasuke: …oh. Well, I guess your right. Naruto: So, you’re gonna abandon all this nonsense and come back to us? Sasuke: no. Naruto: …what? Sasuke: I still have to continue what I’ve started! That would just be another weak move on MY part! It’ll all be over soon. Then I’ll come back and focus on fixing what I broke… Naruto: Well, good luck. Sasuke: You don’t think it’ll happen do you? I’ve fucked up too much…everyone hates me. My husband…my friends…you… Naruto: Hey now! I don’t hate you Sasuke! Sasuke: you don’t? Naruto: Never. That’s a promise. You may be a stupid emo bitch every now and then, but I will NEVER hate you. Sasuke: Wow…thank you…Naruto…you’re really the best… Naruto: I know. Come on. Get your ass out there and start work. -they walk out into a room filled with giggling ninja and Haku running around spreading bubbles everywhereSasuke: I don’t know if I’ll survive… Naruto: Go tell Shika what you told me. Sasuke: Ok…-nervous gulpA.H.S: since nii-chan said Ita-sama is a cosmetics genius, I thought I would give him this dare. Give Sakura-chan a sexy make over!! Zakura, Aleara wants to know what your favorite color is. -Snuggles into Zetsu as a teenage Kaze walks past- shit mom! Is that Kisame?! Dude! He looks so fucking tasty!! Itachi: OOOO!!! MAKEOVER!!

Sakura: What but I— Itachi: LET’S GO!!!! Kabuto: -whimpers as they pull Sakura awayZakura: Black. All the fucking way. Kisame: See? I even look tasty. Deidara: Well most people do like tuna, yeah. Sasuke: -walks towards Shikamaru- Hey Shi— Choji: -steps in his way- Back off. You’ve done enough harm here. Sasuke: Listen I just want to ap— Choji: I said BACK OFF. Nothing you could say— Shikamaru: Let him past, Choji. I’ll listen to him. Choji: -looks at Shikamaru in semi-hurt confusion and then steps back to let Sasuke Raina didn’t come cuz she is decorating our Manda fan-club base. Ok, as always, loads of fraps for 2 of the coolest people I have the pleasure of giving fraps to. (Kekaiyou) Ok, Kurenai I get it (feeds Kurenai more chocolate) (me) KYUUBI! (bows to Kyuubi) In honor of your awesomeness... THIS PATHETIC SACRAFICE! (tosses brother to Kyuubi) eat him, scratch, spit, idc. I hate the sniveling worm. (Rai) NO CISSY-SAN! DONT LET HIM EAT ME! (Kekaiyou) and I bought her stuff all I got was a thanks. (me) yes, shes right, your an obsessed fanboy. (Kekaiyou) damn...TO THE EMO CORNER! Manda: You people were serious? That is so pathetic. Kyuubi: -sprawling on his back- word. Hmm? –looks at kid- You want him? Manda: Suuure. Kyuubi: -tosses kid to MandaManda: -swallows whole-

Kurenai: -devours chocolateGaa/Ita: -devour FrapsDeidara: Lol! More Emo-corner!! Yeah! Sasuke: Shikamaru…I— Shikamaru: Before you go through it all again, I heard your conversation with Naruto. Sasuke: Oh…so… Shikamaru: Did you really mean it all? Sasuke: every word. Shikamaru: well, at least you acknowledge what you did. Sasuke: …so… Shikamaru: No. I’m not coming back to you… Sasuke: I didn’t think you would…but, will you at least accept my appology? Shikamaru: Why don’t you give it and see? Sasuke: -nods- Shikamaru, I am so sorry. I treated you like dirt…I…I was a complete and total scumbag. I’m sorry. Shikamaru: -slapsSasuke: -is slapped- OWW!! -pauseSasuke: …I deserved that. Shikamaru: -smirk- Yes. You did. Sasuke: -nods sadly. Turns to goShikamaru: apology accepted. Sasuke: -turns back- And…my friendship?

Shikamaru: We’ll see. Sasuke: -smiles, leavesMerry Christmas to all! Sasuke: Why are you so late? NO LATE ENTRIES! (throws Sasuke into the Jingle Jail). Shikamaru: What kind of fantastic lapse in judgement caused you to marry at age twelve, TO SASUKE OF ALL PEOPLE? Kimimaro: Are those red dots on your forehead self-destruct buttons? Manda: You rock as one of the best summons in Naruto! And you look good in reindeer antlers! Sakura: Er…merry Christmas…-is dressed in a red cocktail dress with her hair done up and her makeup beautifully appliedKabuto: It’s nice to be able to freely ogle you at times like this…. Sakura: -shoves- …really? Kabuto: Oh yeah. –kisses- But I only want to take in apart now… Sakura: -blushSasuke: What is— -Sasuke is thrown in a cage covers in tinsel and ornaments and in dressed as an elf with reindeer antlersSasuke: Godammit… Naruto: You know you’ve had this coming… Sasuke: THE FUCK I HAVE!! Naruto: hey! That was a very non-emo response! I’m proud of you! Sasuke: …fuck off. Shikamaru: Actually, it was when we were fifteen. Lucifel: Member? I made it the Deidara-story-arc time frame! Shikamaru: and, well, with everything going, time seemed tight and we were kind of stupidly in love…at least I was… Choji: Shikamaru, why did you forgive him?

Shikamaru: -sighs- I don’t know…I guess…despite how much he hurt me…I still love him a little, and want to give him a chance to change. If not for my sake, for his own… and so it won’t happen to anyone else… Choji: But that’s— Shikamaru: I just wish…-tears well- I wasn’t the one he made the mistake on. Choji: Shika… Shikamaru: -falls against Choji and sobsChoji: -sighs and holds him closeKimimaro: Of course not! Lee: -pokes red dotKimimaro: Um… Lee: What? Just checking… Gaara: -face-palmManda: thanks…and get near me with those things and you’re DEAD. Kyuubi: You got your BOXORZ ROXORD by Stitch! Ha! Now that you have been beaten by the fluffy, you must the fluffy! (turns Kyuubi into an extremely cute fox-demon-like red-orange Experiment). Oh, and since the last alien was such a smash hit, I throw Invader Zim and Gir into the room. Akatsuki , teach Zim the ways of villainy! Kyuubi: I don’t THINK so. Zakura: I told you— Kyuubi: Bitch you said I could be chibi-fied! Nothing about experiments! Zakura: Fair compromise. Kyuubi: WHAT? -KYUUBI IS CHIBI!!-

Kyuubi: You will all die… Deidara: So, where’s this Zim person? -crickets chirpingLucifel: So…who wants to pretend I watch that show, he showed up and made some funny jokes referencing his show and left. Deidara: Fine, yeah. Everyone: -general consensus of ‘ok’Kabuto and Sakura: -glues togetherSasuke: 1. whos the craziest fangirl youve ever met, and why? 2. whats your view on sasunaru. 3. do you want a turtle? his name is lightning star. HT: ITS MOVIE MONDAY! except it really isnt monday. well, theres something about this one guy, and jail house rock and stuff. anyone want 'em? amber: she has no life. but its almost christmas. what does everyone want for the holidays? Sasuke: Er….honestly? you. You’re fucking weird girl. Plus you were one of the first that I had an extended stay with. –shuddersNaruto: NO!! SASUNARUMUSTDIE!!!! Sasuke: What he said. And also, fuck NO I don’t want your turtle! I lived with you, ? I know what the bloody thing DOES!!! Naruto: …what does it do? Sasuke: -shudders- It made kankuro welcome company. Naruto: Eick… Sakura: why not? We can have a movie night for Christmas! Tsunade: I’m not leaving my damn fire. Orochimaru: Of COURSE fucking not! Zakura: Pssst, Oro. C’mere. Orochimaru: what, Whyyyy?

Zakura: just DO it. Orochimaru: -whines and crawls over- what is it? Zakura; You when we were betting on Itachi lasting without fraps way back in chapter 17? Orochimaru: Nooo… Zakura: Well, we did. Now. You owe me a favor. I won. Orochimaru: OH godammit. All right, let me warm up my tongue… Zakura: NO! That’s not…eugh…a’mere. –whispers in earSakura: I got the perfect gift already. –snugglesKurenai: You need to ask?! Hinata: anosa…I don’t know. –blushZakura: -swoonsomg, i just realized that yesterday was the 1 year anniversery of ask sakura -throws confetti and gives a piece of paper to everyone- i think the first anniversary is paper, yeah -has fallen off her train of thought- crap sakura, did you know that inoxsakura and all variations of such is like the most popular yuri paring ever? why dont you give a demonstration, yeah. i dare you too. just a question, what are you gonna do when the story is done lucifel? i mean, this obviously took up most of your life, yeah. so wont it be like a part of you has died or something? i guess i'll congratulate the sannin on their victory in the Great Snowball War -congratulatesum...how old is everyone? Lucifel: -gaps- It HAS been a year!! KYAAA!!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY EVERYONE!! Saku/Naru/Lee: -moaaanLucifel: Well, I appreciate it…-helps back on trainSakura: ACK! NO! I don’t wanna—

-INO/SAKURA MAKEOUTS!!Kabuto: If I was a little less gay I’d be severely turned on. Sakura: -sitting gagging- but you… Kabuto: well, bi, whatever….I’m only minorly aroused now… Sakura: oh…cuz I’m freaking excited… Kabuto: Well, meow. Lucifel: Well, since you brought it up…yeah. This’ll be a major change in my schedule to no longer work on this. I don’t even have a clue what I’ll do with myself, haha. No, honestly, I need to fucking finish Loyalty Eternal. (It’s only got like one or two chapters left) And then I have a couple other long stories I wanna work on, and I’ll put up some more oneshots. I think I might start taking challenge stories…MAYBE. Anyway, yeah. That’s about it. Tsunade: Fuck YEAH congratulate me bitch!! Jiraiya: WHOOOOO!!! -crickets chirpEveryone: Ummm… Zakura: As old as they are during the Gaara Shippuden story arc…heh… Hinata: -jumps as someone taps her shoulder, turns around to see Orochimaru handing her a folded piece of paper and then he slinks back to the other Sannin- uweh? Zakura: -watches shylyHinata: -opens paper and reads- … -turns beet red and sits next Kurenai shylyZakura: -sighsI am still united on the fact that Sasuke is and always will be the biggest prik on the face of the earth... or where ever he is really Skia-kun can have a wireless laptop... dunno if you have internet over there but you can always play games on it... until the battery dies Ino... If you weren't blonde what hair colour would you have? Oro-dono who is smexier Naruto or Lee? loves He-Yan... kisses for everyone!!

Choji: word. Shikamaru: -snifflelaugh- OH! –starts tapping madly at keyboardChoji: -leans over shoulder- OH! I love that game! Lemme play! Shikamaru: no, you go to slow… Choji: Come on, let me have one try… Orochimaru: Are you two playing on a computer or having sex? Jiraiya: They can be equally awesome. Tsunade: -rolls eyesIno: Red head, definitely. They get a lot of action too. And I’d look damn good. Orochimaru: what….the…fuck? How…I mean…ewwwww. I guess Lee cuz he has a better body…eick… Jiraiya: But Naruto’s face is far more normal. Yondaime: And he has MY genes. Orochimaru: Oooh, good point… Sakura: Isn't Sasuke acting a little strange? (Snap out of it girl!) Kabuto: The girl's in shock. Give her some time. After how you have acted previously, what did you expect her to do, kiss you senseless? You've been a jerk, give her time. Kabuto: I think it worked out pretty well actually. Sakura: Eh, I guess. -they smile, giggle, and kiss a lot moreOrochimaru: awwwww. Jiraiya: that is already getting old. Lucifel: And now, I’d like to say a little something. Since this thing is drawing to a close, I ed some of my favorite old reviewers who haven’t been around in a while. And I just want to say it is SO lovely to see you all again. And especially this guy;

Wow, been a LONG time since I reviewed. Still not really sure why, but I guess it's just one of those things. A request from the Angel herself made me realize that I was actually MISSED as a reviewer! That surprised the hell outta me since my last one was way back in chapter 23! But, after many long and uneccessary months of absence, I'm back for the second to last time. I missed you guys. See ya next chapter! Khellan Rafe That Navy dude from back in the day Kurenai: IT’S MY NAVY MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! –pounces…fails- if they can come here, why can’t I go there?! Zakura: sorry darlin’. Kurenai: But I waaaaaant him. Hinata: I-I think you’ve had bit too much chocolate. Kurenai: Don’t you EVER speak to me like that again young lady. Hinata: Yes ma’am. Lucifel: Just my way of showing you how much you were missed, Rafe. Oh, and this gal?? Thanks for the poke Lucifiel ^.^ Alright now the real review begins... I may have been gone before... I may have ignored you for a while (cause I have school) I may have totally screwed my brain over with yaoi... BUT I'M BACK FUCKERS AND I WANT KABUTO DAMNIT! Gimme, Gimme, Gimme! Fuck it Sakura - hand the bishie over NAO! He's mine - and there isn't a thing you can do about it. And Kimi, yeah you're real cute with him to but can't you see, he's mine... MINE. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... Darn I knew there was something wrong when I woke up wanting mpreg fiction... Anyway -coughcough- I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND GLOMP YOU KABY! -glompglompglompglompPhew - I'm tired now... Anyway... I LOVE YOU ALL - EXPECIALLY YOU KABUTO! *hugs for everyone - and a kiss for Kabuto* ~Rose :heart: Kabuto: …oh my god…

Sakura: holy shit… Orochimaru: KYAA!! IT’S Kabuto’s fangirl!! Itachi: Oh GOD this is the one that sent us to the nerd-world! Save me! Kabuto: YOU?! What about me! I’ve gotta hide!! Sakura: hey! You’ve got me now. Just calm down. I’ll keep you safe. –kissKabuto: Hey! That’s not safe! She’s a fangirl! God knows what she’d do to you! Sakura: I can handle it. I’d rather face a fangirl than not kiss you. Naruto: -makes gagging noisesLee: Ahh, now that is wonderfully youthful!! Orochimaru: OMG!!! Jiraiya: what? Orochimaru: Looking at all these old reviewers reminded me; you know what we should do to celebrate a full year? Sakura: what? –nervousOrochimaru: Fuck movies! We need another tickle orgy!! Kurenai: Now I don— Sakura: Sure why not? Zakura: FUCK YEAH!!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! And there was much cuteness and tickling and they all fell in piles about the place as each was turned on in turn to be tickled ruthlessly and violently until the tide would randomly switch and someone else took full-brunt. It was glorious. For there was much “accidental” groping and even more adorable moments that make one want to barf bubbles and rainbows. Teehee. Lucifel: Ok guys. This is it. These will be your last reviews. Please, really put some thought into these, make ‘em count. I want this to be as awesome as possible. Don’t be afraid to ask many questions. I may still cut them down, but I don’t want you guys to

worry about that this time around. Don’t go crazy with extra stuff, but as far as questions go, give ‘em to me. See you all New Years Eve. Much Love, Lucifel

WINNERS OF THE BESTS COMPETITION: Lucifel: Hello one and all! Merry Christmas!!! And if you don’t celebrate Christmas have a good day anyway!! Even though it’s over. Heh. I now bring you the winners of the Ask Sakura ‘Bests’ competition!!!

-DRUMROLLFor Best Running Gag the Winner Is: -cymbal crashOH MY GOD!!! IT’S A TIE!!!!! FRAPS AND INCEST!!!!!!!!! -THUNDEROUS APPLAUSEWell that’s funny. Although I gotta say, I’m not all that surprised. Itachi: DO THE WINNING GAGS GET TO HAPPEN??!?! Lucifel: What’re you doing here? This is a special for ONLY me! Out! Out! Gaara: -slams me on the floor and hold a kunai to my throat- Hand over the fraps or else… Lucifel: Meep. –gives frapsGaara: -nodsItachi: And the incest? Gaara: Oh, give it a rest. –pulls him awayLucifel: -standing and straightening her clothes and hair- Ahem. So, moving on! -DRUMROLLWinner for Best Unexpected Couple!! -CYMBAL CRASHBY ONE VOTE!!! SHIKAMARU AND SASUKE!!!!! Man, Sakura/Kabuto were a close second. Orochimaru: WHAT?! No!!!! BUT THEY’RE SO CUTE!! Lucifel: Well, yes but it was about who was the biggest surprise so— Orochimaru: IT’S AN OUTRAGE!! What about my vote?! Don’t I count?!

Lucifel: Well…that would only make in a tie… Orochimaru: OUTRAGE!! CHEATS!! THEFT!! MUTINY!!! Lucifel: -gently pushes him out the door on his raging way- Ok…well, I think it’s awesome. I did intend that to be pretty huge. I had it planned since Shikamaru showed up. Anywho. Deidara: AnyWHIZZLE. Lucifel: Out. Deidara: -slips outside-DRUMROLLThe winner for Best Plausible Couple IS!! -CYMBAL CRASHBY A LANDSLIDE; HAKU AND ZABUZA!!! Haku: Kyaaaaa!! What do I win? Lucifel: how do you guys keep getting in here? I have the voting booth locked!! Kyuubi: -standing by the door with lock picks snickeringHaku: So…no prize…-big, weepy eyesZabuza: Ahem. –glares, pulls out kunaiLucifel: Ehehe…-hands Haku a kitty cat- There you go. Congrats. Zabuza: -nods and leads a bouncy Haku back outLucifel: -siiiigh- Moving on! -DRUMROLLThe winner for Best Guest Character IS!!! -CYMBAL CRASHOH!! This was an all-around close one! BUT THE WINNER IS ED!!!!!!

Ed: What?! NO! I don’t wanna be back! Lucifel: Sorry kiddo, this was my idea. Winner of best guest gets to return for the final chapter. Ed: WHAT?! Lucifel: Yup, aren’t you so happy you beat Ayame by two votes? Ayame: -looks sadly through the windowEd: But he WANTS to be here! I don’t! get away from me I— -continues rambling as Deidara drags him into the roomLucifel: yay! Ok! -DRUMROLLWinner for Best Theme IS!! -CYMBAL CRASHMASQUERADE!! Ino: ha! That was my entrance! They love me!! Lucifel: Kyuubi you close that GODDAMN DOOR!!! Kyuubi: heeheehee… Lucifel: -boots Ino outKyuubi: Oh come on. I’m a fucking CHIBI again! What do you want? Lucifel: I’m the fucking author…-grumbles- Ok. Well! -DRUMROLLWinner for best “Aww” Moment IS! -Rubber ducky squeakA—what? Shino, behave.

Shino: -sitting at drum set- What? It was getting redundant! You know they want randomness. Lucifel: Do it right. Shino: Fine. –rolls eyes-DRUMROLLLucifel: The Winner of best “Aww” Moment IS!! -Drumstick hits me in the headLucifel: SHINO!!!! Shino: It SLIPPED! Geez, you’d think you’d give a guy a chance. I’ve been one of the most well-behaved throughout this damn thing… Lucife: -glaresShino: -DRUMROLLLucifel: The Winner of best “Aww” Moment IS!! -CYMBAL CRASHBY AN OVERWHELMING VOTE HAKU AND HINATA!!!! Haku: YAY!!!!!!! Hinata: W-what? What’s going on? Haku: We get presents! Lucifel: No you DON’T!! Kyuubi: OH Zabuzaaaa… Lucifel: I have control over HIM! He can’t hurt me! Haku/Hina: -big sad eyes- no presents? Lucifel: …my own work betrays me…of course. Here’s some candy. Haku/Hina: YAY!! –they skip off-

Lucifel: Anyway! -Rubber Ducky squeakLucifel: SHINO!!!! Shino: It was just for fun! What? You didn’t say I couldn’t! Lucifel: -stalks up, pulls ducky away, glues drumsticks to his handsShino: -sulksLucifel: Ahem. -DRUMROLLLucifel: And the Winner for Best Dramatic Moment IS!! -The drumset falls and smashes, the cymbals hitting me in the head with a CRASHLucifel: WHAT THE FUCK?! Shino: you never said HOW the cymbal had to crash!! Lucifel: RAAAAAAH!!!!!!!! –chases him violently out of the room, and then slams the door shut, panting- The winner was Shikamaru’s Divorce statement. I’m going to bed. -the door will not openLucifel: You gotta be fucking kidding me… Kyuubi: YEAH! How do YOU like it, bitch?! Sakura: you’re SO my hero now. -high-fiveLucifel: LET ME OUT OF HERE!! YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!! SAKURA!! I GAVE YOU KABUTO!! I CAN JUST AS EASILY TAKE HIM AWAY!! I KNOW YOU’RE STILL OUT THERE!!! YOU CAN’T IGNORE ME!! OPEN THIS GODDAMN DOOR!! I HAVE PRESENTS TO PLAY WITH!!! YOU LITTLE FUCKER KYUUBI!! YOU THINK YOU’RE SO TOUGH!! I’LL GET STITCH!! I SWEAR I WILL…

Merry Christmas guys.

Ask Sakura 57 …1 Lucifel: -sitting in a corner of the poll room- Hello everyone! Just a real quick thing before we get started on this, the last chapter of Ask Sakura. I loved the reviews this time

around (despite all you damn spoilers…I hate that…grr)! Everyone was so nice, and with each review I got a little misty eyed ing all our history together. This here is the last chapter, but I’m gonna have a small epilogue tomorrow. See you then. But for now, on with the show! Sakura: -lies panting in Kabuto’s lap- We should have done that again AGES ago. Deidara: BEST THING EVAR!!!!!!! Orochimaru: -is still beset by giggles…prolly cuz Jiraiya and Tsunade never stopped tickling himSakura: And you! –Turns on Kabuto- Don’t think I didn’t notice! Kabuto: What? Your shirt was baggy! I can’t help it if it fell OVER my hands! Sakura: -glares and kissesGaara: -is clinging tightly to LeeHaku: -coos happily in Zabuza’s armsKJ: I cannot believe we've went through so many chapters already! *flashb-Az: BITCH DON'T YOU DARE. Ino, how does it feel to know that in a few years, you'll be old and dry and nobody will want you? Not even your Uncle Roy? Sasuke, you = bitch. Apology or not. I suggest you get your act together; some of us fangirls are allergic to ignorance. ..God I feel like Lee. -gives youthful crayons and a coloring book- Go crazeh, homeslice. KJ: *throws cookies* Happy Holidays, Lucifel! Kabuto: Yeah, I feel the same about flash-backs… Sakura: Oh please! That was TWICE as embarrassing for me! I actually HAVE a reputation! Kabuto: Ouch. You bad little girl...-spanksSakura: -blushOrochimaru: KY— Tsunade: -duct tapes mouth shut- NO.

Ino: …You’re a BITCH!! –starts cryingNeji; Is, uh, anyone gonna comfort her? Everyone: -stays perfectly stillNeji: Oh, ouch… Shika/Cho: -sighShikamaru: You know we have to, right? Choji: Yeeeah… -they go and hug herIno: You guys…Thank you! –hugs back, still cryingShikamaru: -pat, patChoji: You owe me dinner. Ino: -nodsSasuke: hey! I am not! Shikamaru forgave me! Naruto: But you’re still a little bitch. Sasuke: …dammit. Fine. Yes. I’m sorry. Orochimaru: –smiles and claps handsLee: YOSH!! YOUTH!!!!!!! –colorsGaara: -blushes at cutenessholy. shit! i can't believe this is ending! Sorry I haven't written for like a century and MAN Angel Lucy you've outdone yourself. well lemme tell you a little something I always felt about all of you guys in the TV show and manga... Chouji: You're practically the only character who doesn't deserve constructive criticism, but one thing...lose some weight. PLEASE! Honestly my friend here would fuck you...but you're fat so either end up like Dr Dempsie (A latin teacher of mine whose a forty year old virgin) or lose weight and get laid! YEO! Shikamaru: You're really smart and like Chouji I don't think you actually deserve any

criticism...but you're really boring and I have another friend who would have $£+ with you if you became a bit more fun, cos she thinks she'll "have to do all the work" Lee: You were a really hard worker and you fought against all odds to be a great ninja...but like Cho and Shika, my other friend would do you...but you need to change your look...cos she don't wanna wake up and see big bushy eyebrows and a bowl cut...Other than that you're a really cool person. lol Deidara: Just do me a favour...I wanna know...(please don't feel insulted!) ARE YOU A GUY?! Cos I have another friend (YES I HAVE MANY FRIENDS WHO WOULD DO A LOT OF GUYS!) who'd do you...but I have my suspicions...that...you're a girl...drop your pants...Other than that...YOU ARE THE SMEXY BOY! woh! Orochimaru: You're an ass who deserves to die! I'd kill if I had the chance and if I could. (you haven't heard the last of ME! good bye forever!) Everyone: …umm… Sakura: So basically, she hated us all, and then liked us? Lucifel: That about sums it up! Except for some people who still need work, according to her. Ino/Shika/Cho: -seetheChoji: I AM NOT FAT!!!!! Shikamaru: -sighs- So what? I don’t care what your girl wants. And I can get very ionate if the situation calls for it. And DON’T insult my friends, bitch. Choji: Shikamaru is AMAZING! You have no right to insult him! AND I’M NOT FAT!!!! Ino: What the fuck is your problem girly? Shikamaru is so bloody BRILLIANT he’d probably find the best way to have sex EVER. But you’ll never get to experience it. And even if he’s a little chubby, do you know how many times that has SAVED us?! He not lazy-fat, he takes care of himself, so who are YOU to criticize?! Shika/Cho: -stunnedIno: What? Shika/Cho: -hug againIno: What? You guys are my friends! Of COURSE I’ll yell at anyone being a bitch to you! Shikamaru: -hugs tighter-

Choji: Ino, you may be a bitch, but I love you. Shikamaru: WE love you. Ino: …-blush- thanks guys… Kyuubi: Now that they’re done being gay little ninja kids can I say my piece? Sakura: …sure… Kyuubi: The girl is right. You all suck. Tsunade: Don’t be moody just cuz you’re chibi. Kyuubi: FUCK you. Yondaime: And if I recall, you’d bring yourself low enough to try and fuck many of us? So that would mean you don’t think of YOURSELF very highly either. Kyuubi: You all will DIE. Really…you will…-grumble growlGaara: If you weren’t already on the list, you’re going on it now. Lee: My hair is youthful! You must be an old bat indeed not to see it!! Gaara: -nods and kissesTsunade: Seriously, girly, if you’re the kind of person that thinks people would change their appearance just to get sex (which most of them get anyway) then you seriously need to re-evaluate your life. Jiraiya: …well, I have this “friend” and he would like to sex up a fan girl, but she would need— Tsunade: -steals the ready skillet from Kurenai and bashes Jiraiya- NO!! Jiraiya: Awww. Deidara: I’m a guy! –Gets naked- See? Everyone: -either screams and looks away or can’t stop staring, I’m sure by now you know which is whichDeidara: teeheehee. –Starts getting re-dressedSasori: Oh no you don’t. –Pulls into closet-

Ed: Why, why, WHY did I have to come back here?! Orochimaru: -removing duct tape- Cuz you’re so CUTE!! Ed: -whimperOrochimaru: -gasp- WHAT A BITCH!!! I HATE YOU!! Kyuubi: Oh come on, Oro, like you haven’t been told you’re hated a million times already. Orochimaru: But…but…I’m SEXY. Jiraiya: Mmmm, yeah. –GaspTsunade: What? -pulls her into a corner where they start whispering and gigglingOrochimaru: huh? Itachi: How can she say we haven’t heard the last of her…and then goodbye forever? Kabuto: Because she’s a fangirl. What do you expect? Itachi: I dunno…anyway, I’m with Kyuubi. This is one fangirl I can laugh WITH. Teehee, yay for being cruelly critical!! Sakura: Oh fuck you. Jiraiya: I dare you to ask Hinata for smex. -gives Jiraiya anti-Kurenai and anti-Tsunade shield- And if you don't do this dare, I'll turn all your Icha Icha into chocolate and feed it to Kurenai -snickersSasori: With all those puppets and strings and gadgets, you'd make an awesome bondage smex machine. I dare you to tie up and have bondage smex with anyone you want Sakura: I dare you to bang Kabuto in front of everyone right now. Orochimaru: Yay! Sex! Zakura: All sex, smex, or ‘banging’ is changed to ‘kiss.’ And Jiraiya? Jiraiya: Er, yes? Zakura: You can either loose your books, or have your JAW broken. Your pick.

Hinata: No, I don’t want him to have to loose all his hard work! I’ll…kiss him. Zakura: -seethesShikamaru: Hinata, what does the necklace make you do? Hinata: I can’t deny anyone…uh…ah… Shikamaru: Sex, right? Hinata: -nodsShikamaru: And what will Jiraiya be asking you for? Hinata; a kiss? Shikamaru: So do you have to give it to him? Hinata: …no…I don’t! Oh yay! Thank you Shikamaru! I owe you!! –big hugJiraiya: Ouch, my pride… Kiba: Hey! That’s the old Shikamaru! He’s back to normal! Shikamaru: -small smile- the first person to hug me dies. Everyone: -hesitates-…-MASSIVE GLOMPAGE ON SHIKAMARUShikamaru: Dammit. Sasori: So…how does one pull off bondage kissing? Deidara: What we’re doing right now, yeah? Sasori: good enough. –continues his and Deidara’s closet escapadesSakura: -kisses KabutoKabuto: Aww… Sakura: No. Bad. –smacks gentlyKabuto: -smilesYatta! I finally got my PC ban lifted! Just in time as well! -Glomps and huggles Naru- NARU-CHAN! -Nuzzles- How come you still don't have a

lover!? -throws in Sai and Tenten- one of these two would be a good lover for you... or you can have them both!! X3 -Bazookas Sasuke- Why the hell does Itachi-sama like you!? Your a bastard! Gaara, Itachi, Deidara: How do you deal with your huge mass of fangirls? -Huggles Naru again and gives him a bowl of ramenJune x Lucifel: Oh! Yay! I’m so glad you’re around!! Sai: Again? Tenten: Please don’t throw me out a window this time!! Neji: Who the hell are you? Tenten: -sigh- Neji, we do this everyday… Neji: Holy shit, you know my name?! Tenten: Leeeee… Lee: Neji! This is our TEAM-MATE!!!! Neji: …oh, yeah. I now. Tenten: -sighsSai: Why am I here NOW? Orochimaru: To sex up Naruto. Sai: Oh…no. Naruto: I wouldn’t want to anyway! Not with your small dick! That’s right! I got to it FIRST!! Sai: Oh don’t be obscene. Naruto: -twitchYondaime: Young man, I think you’ll find that my son is FAR better-endowed than you. And, besides that, has a father who loves him very much. Both of which you could never hope to have. Excuse us. We’re going to go get Ramen. Sai: -twitch-

Naruto: You’re the best dad EVER. Yondaime: -smilesSai: Well I’m— Deidara: NO! us!! Yeah! Sasori: -pulls Sai inTenten: -sits next to Ed- Hi…I haven’t seen you around before… Ed: Yeah. I’m not a ninja. I’m an alchemist. Tenten: that’s hot. Ed: I have a boyfriend… Tenten: Oh. Ed: who would never find out if I made out with you. Tenten: Right on! -they make outSasuke: -hiding behind Orochimaru- Holy shit! I don’t know!! Ask him!! Itachi: CUZ HE IS THE SMEXY!!!! –grabs and nuzzlesSasuke: -gurgle choke sighGaara: they go on the list. Deidara: By graciously accepting gifts!! Yeah!! Itachi: By scaring away the stupid ones with incest and ignoring the rest. –licks Sasuke's earSasuke: -shiversWah!! this is such a bittersweet moment! *hugs everyone, one at a time* Sasuke: *walks in as she gets to TFPKAAS! Sasuke* ...the fuck? *leaps off* I- but- wha- HUH?!

Sasuke: *twitches* he's me in a different reality. Oh... *continues huging, and finishes while still hugging Kyuubi* God, I am going to miss you all so much! Sasuke: I'm not. If it weren't for this thing you wouldn't have met this crazy Lucifel chick. ...*cries* OMFG, NO! IT CAN'T END! THIS IS WHERE I MET LU-CHAN! NO! Itachi-sama? I'm sorry I was mad at you. I still ire you even though you might die soon. Just so you know, I love you all, and I'll be thinking of you whenever I read or watch Naruto. And I love you too Lucifel-chan. When I was sifting through fics over a year ago and stumbled onto this, I had no idea I'd be getting such a wonderful, witty, funny, and smart friend like you. Aw, geeze, now I'm gonna have to make excuses to bug you with PMs and stuff... Loving you all, this fic, and Lucifel, Kryah (That one crazy kid who's been bugging you all since last Christmas) Lucifel: KRYAH!!! –sobs and hugs- You must write me!! All the time! You’re such a wonderful person!! –realizes she is not alone- Ahem. Yes well… Kyuubi: I wanna go on Vacation again…-makes puppy eyes at KryahNaruto: That’s disturbing. Kyuubi: I have to use this damn body to my advantage! Eat your ramen! Naruto: OK!! Haku: Yay! –hugs backSasori: Eugh, nothing ruins sexy moments more than a fan-girl hug…I hope Deidara jizzed on you. Deidara: Ewwwww, yeah. Sasuke: WHY IS THERE ANOTHER ME!?! Sakura: Fangirls. They do as they please. Sasuke: …-horrified- Does my hair really look like that? Itachi: Yes ototo-kun. It does. Sasuke: Oh god…I need scissors… Ino: I’ll do it!!

Sasuke: Can I trust you? Ino: I want you to look sexy more than anyone else and if I mess you up Orochimaru and Itachi will attack me. Yes. Sasuke: Ok then. Itachi: and it’s cool Kryah. I forgive/love you. You’re not bad for a fan. Sakura: Love you too!! Kabuto: -gagsSakura: -kicksHowdy hey guys! It's SnowGaara here! And yes... I'm a dude... Here I am, sitting on the couch, sipping some fraps. -gives oh so wonderufl fraps to Gaara and Itachi- I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks to you, I've become a fan of fraps and incest...=D Gaara-kun: You rock, that's why I named myself after you, but where's your sand? You haven't used it at all! -gives new awesome gourdNeji: I'm glad you quit being a whore, because you're too cool for that. But won't you kind of miss it? -removes caged bird seal- NOW YOU ARE FREE! Sannin: -gives sannin cool swords, hats, and capes- Now be like the 3 Muskateers! Kurenai: Why is chocolate so great and do you like white chocolate? My girlfriend loves it, but I dont see why. -gives box of assorted chocolatesShikamaru: People say I'm just like you in every way. Glad you dumped that emo prick. -glares at Sasuke- How do you stay so lazy? I'd like to learn from you. Naruto: Also, I love ramen just about as much as you, let's have a ramen party!! -gives a life sized statue of Hinata made out of ramen- You two are meant for each other! Sasuke: Go die, Itachi is mine! How do you plan to defeat The Log? muwahaha -throws in The LogKimimaro: You rock! Got Milk? XD Sasori: Make me into a puppet plz? I'd love to serve you. Deidara: I WANT THOSE MOUTHS ON YOUR HANDS! Where can I get some? ^_~ P.S. Hope you can get Sasy-chan someday! Sakura + Kabuto: Congrats! -gives Kabuto a high five and a FRIENDLY hug to SakuraZakura: Power to the Lesbians... and people who like to wear black! We rock! Even though I am a guy... -gives some chains and new black outfits- And for the record, no... I'm not gay. Kisame: I want to eat you, I hope you taste like sushi! -eats- Have you ever snuck up on the other Akatsuki while humming the jaws music? -gives stereo to play Jaws musicLee: LET THE POWER OF YOUTH EXPLODE!! -gives Lee some lotus flowers- Can you train me? I am very dedicated.

Haku: Do you ever use the Crystal Ice Mirrors to just look at yourself? -gives entire beauty salon that poofs into the room- And... -glomps- yay! Zabuza: Don't kill me, you're badass too! -door poofs into the room- It leads to your very own armory. It has any sword or weapon you can dream of! and they never get dull! Hinata: I love you... but you're meant for Naruto. -cries- Ow... My girlfriend just hit me... Oh well, here ya go! -gives fluffy little red fox- Kyuubi, plz don't kill it. Kiba: So I hear you like mudkipz? -also gives DS, with pokemon diamond and pearlGotta Catch Em' All! Akamaru: You rule enough to have your own part! -gives doggie treats- They're good! You kick ass more than any other dog I know! How do you stay so awesome? Shino: I give you bugs... and trees -lil corner of the room is forest-like, with cool bugsHas Akamaru ever eaten any of your bugs? Yondaime: You rule, 'nuff said. -gives new cool blue blazer, with long black slacks- Do you know you look like Volkner from Pokemon? Choji: I challenge you to an eating contest! But first, here. -throws in some Flan my girlfriend made- It's delish! (No question) Kankuro: People say I look like you. Where do you get your face paint? -gives a muffin...of DEATH- muwahahahahaha! Manda: If you hate it so much there, and since you're a summon, can't you just poof away to your little land of summons? and here -turns Manda orange- Now you match Naruto. I think that's everyone! Congrats on the story Lucifel-sama you rule!! -SnowGaara Lucifel: SNOWGAARA!!! YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!! This kid has been around for awhile, and this is him finally reviewing! This kid made AWESOME avatars for Ask Sakura based on the running gags here. If you wanna see ‘em send me a pm ok? Anyway, this is a big ‘un, let’s get to work. Itachi: YAY!! FRAPS AND INCEST!!! Gaara: -sipping frap- I dunno. I haven’t needed it. Lee: He is embracing Youth!! And youthfulness is not random violence, but rather, random TRIANING!!! –drops and does push upsKimimaro: Gaara….seriously… Gaara: he’s cute!! Kimimaro: Oooook. –shakes headNeji: I…well….yeeeeah…but hey, I’ll manage. I’m sure I’ll find a perfectly good duty elsewhere!!

Kiba: Good luck. Neji: Yeah. Heh. Shino: Umm…so, aren’t you a little happy about being free? Neji: what? –checks mirror- Oh my god…I really am…I just figured Zakura would… Zakura: Whoops, missed that. –re-does sealNeji: I hate you SO much. Zakura; -smileOrochimaru: OMG!! We are TOTALLY the musketeers!! Jiraiya: Yeah…why don’t we go musketeer in the pool room, eh? Orochimaru: umm…ok? Tsunade: -leads the way-They enter the pool roomOrochimaru: Ok so— -They push him it pool, throwing all clothing and accessories onto the benches as they do soOrochimaru: you guys what--? Tsunade: Jiraiya was saying how we should do something special before we all go our separate ways again… Jiraiya: And before you were always saying how much you wanted a pool orgy… Tsunade: It may only be the three of us, but I mean, for old times sake and all… Orochimaru: I love you guys. Jiraiya: Awesome. You too, now let’s get kinky. Naruto: -horrorYondaime: Look away Naruto…just ignore it.

Kurenai: ALL chocolate is amazing. But good old milk chocolate is the best!! –takes chocolate to the corner- You’re girlfriend understands. Lucifel: White/Dark chocolate for the win!! Shikamaru: If you managed to write all that then you’re not nearly lazy enough. You’ll have to observe and learn if you wanna be taught, that’s the only way. It’s too troublesome to actually teach. Ino: How is CHOJI the…big-boned…one? Choji: I know! Totally not fair! Naruto: that is IMPOSSIBLE!! Because if I could, I would live off of ONLY ramen! And I bet you’d want pizza or something… Yondaime: What about drinking? Naruto: Umm, hello? Ramen is a SOUP!! Yondaime: Of course, my mistake. Naruto: OMG HELL YES WE’RE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!! Hinata: W-what? Naruto: This statue and I are gonna get freaking MARRIED!! YUMM!!! Hinata: -sigh- … -messes with note paperZakura: -glances over shyly and look quickly awayItachi; did a BOY fan just claim ownership of me? Cause that is SO rockin. Sasuke: Wtf? I never even wanted him!! AGG!!! NOOO!! NOT THE LOG!! Zakura: Hold on! I have an idea! –ties Sai to the log and throws the combo out the windowDeidara: Awww, why? Zakura: Because Sai is a prick. Anyway, isn’t Tenten bi? Neji: Yeah, she is, why? Zakura: Cuz I—wait, what?

Neji: Tenten. She’s bi. Lee: YOU ED HER!! Neji: Duh, she’s my team-mate, why wouldn’t I? Kiba: I think this no-more-whoring stuff is really good for you. Neji: -shrugsZakura: Anyway, ED!! Get off! I want a turn! Ed: Buuuut… Tenten: I’m kind of tired now anyway… Zakura: -twitch- ….oh really? –throws out window tooEd: Dammit… Zakura: and what about Roy? Ed: He makes out with riza all the time! Zakura: Oh….haha!! Ed; Hate you… Kimimaro: Yes, very witty. Haha. –scowlLee: Do you? I’m kinda thirsty… Gaara: -smacks LeeSasori: dude…this kid is awesome. I have no need for a normal mortal puppet but still… Deidara: In the place of excruciatingly painful permanent jutsu, yeah. And seriously, yeah! This kid rocks!! Itachi: Wanting me. Sasori: Wanting to made into a puppet… Deidara: It’s like the perfect fan!

Sasori: Where have you BEEN? Lucifel: On AIM. Ita/Sas/Dei: …awww… Kabuto: that’s the manliest thing a fan’s ever done. Kurenai: Khellen Rafe is WAY manlier than this kid. Kabuto: whatever. Sakura: -returning hug- I don’t doubt it. This kid is kind of…off… Kabuto: -shrugs and nodsZakura: Well, I’m sure if your were a woman you’d make a great lesbian. –gets dressed in black and chains- Kick-ass. Hinata: -blushesKisame: OWW! You little bugger! –nursing his bite-wound- Anyway…no…certainly not… Deidara: I saw you do it to Tobi, yeah! You traumatized him! Kisame: Oh shut up! Kiba: dude…-puts stereo in the pool roomOrochimaru: -SCREAMS and runs outEveryone: -cracks upOrochimaru: How dare you ruin my pool orgy! –throws stereo at Kiba’s head and stalks back insideSakura: they aren’t really doing that are they? Sannin: HELL YEAH WE ARE!!!! Everyone: -twitchLee: YOSH!! THE POWER OF YOUTH IS EVER EXPLOSIVE!! I would love to train you!! Many of you show very much potential!!

Shikamaru: right, you can’t very well aspire to be us both…that would never work. Choji: Or if it did it’d be REALLY disturbing… Shikamaru: -shudders- yeah… Haku: well…-blushes- sometimes… Zabuza: so that’s how you stayed so pretty when we were in the wilderness… Haku: teehee, yeah. OOH!!! MAKEOVER TIME!! AND HUGS!! Zabuza: -glower- I only need one sword kid… Zakura: holy shit!! Look at this stuff… Zabuza: …fine…-goes to armory and starts playing with stuff and trying not to squealHinata: Oh! I hope I haven’t hurt you relationship—CUTE FOX!!! –cuddlesKyuubi: No way.., Fox: Kyuubi-Nii-chan!! Kyuubi: Koda? Wtf are you doing here? Koda: Why are you a chibi? Kyuubi: Shut up and answer me. Koda: I came to cuddle with the cute human girl! Kyuubi: …you’re a pathetic excuse for a demon-fox… Naruto: WTF? Kyuubi: He’s my cousin. –sighHinata: -cuddlesKiba: FUCK YEAH!! –goes and plays in a cornerShino: thanks for the loving attention fucktard. Kiba: Yeah, yeah, what should I name myself?!

Akamaru: -eating treats- arf, bark, yap! –of course they’re good! It’s edible!!- bark, yapitty, arf arf. –it’s not hard to stay awesome when you’re freakin’ NINJA dog. Kiba: That’s my boy!! Shino: Ooooh…-goes to corner- yay. And no. never. Akamaru: Bark, yap! –they’d be nasty! They’d eat ma chakra!Yondaime: Oooh, I look hot. Naruto: dad, eww. Itachi: No there must be incest!! Naru/Yon: -glareItachi: fine. –poutsYondaime: I do not! Kiba: -gasp- I challenge you to a pokemon battle!!! Yondaime: No. Kiba: -poutsChoji: YES!! Girlfriend food is always the best!!! Shikamaru: You’ve OBVIOUSLY never gone out with Ino… Ino: HEY!! Kankuro: I make it myself, actually…MUFFGaara: -pounces and rubs behind earsKankuro: -meltsManda: I…damn…HEY! WTF?! Naruto: HAH! YOU IS ORANGE!!! Manda: I…hate…everyone…-lashes tail- Why aren’t I poofing back to the summons realm?

Zakura: sorry snakey. You may not say much but you’re sticking around. Ed: I’ve learned that just staying quiet saves you a lot of grief… Zakura: Yeah but you’re short. So you’re easily ignored. Ed: WHAT’D YOU SAY YOU BITCH!! Zakura: Lolz, angry midget… Ed: I AM NOT!!! –lunges…falls on faceZakura: You need longer legs to make THAT jump. Ed: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!! Lucifel: Thanks Snow!! Now continuing!! I have the fan-art of everyone in their Halloween Costumes ^_^ Yup! I finally saw Helenchan and she'd sketched them for me... I shall scan it in for everyone to see ^_^ Akamaru - will anything change for you when Kiba gets married? - Also, do you get along with Hana's dogs...? All THREE of them? Lucifel: Thanks for the fanart!! It was awesome!!! Akamaru: Bark, yap, yipp, arf. –I dunno, I hope not. It’s kind of Kiba’s call…- -looks at KibaKiba: I don’t see why it would. Kurenai: He may not want to sleep on your bed with you… Kiba: I’ve been sleeping with Shino for ages, Akamaru knows how to handle that. Shino: It wasn’t a fun lesson to teach him though… Kiba: Oh, hehe, yeeeah… Akamaru: Arf. –no.- Bark, bark yap, howl. –The older two are cool, they like me and treat me as a kind of apprentice and teach me stuff.- whine, bark, yap –but her youngest one steals my treats…Kiba: That bastard. I try to stop him. Akamaru: whine.

Jeez, I missed a lot. My internet wasn't up for like 3 months so...ok! Sakura-san: At. Fucking. LAST! How long were u planning to keep that up? btw, good luck, I hear Kabuto ends up pretty messed up...help him Zakura-sama: undying love. Yeah, just another slave among hundreds, but... Naruto-kun: wow, when did you grow brains? Lucifel: You did, but at least you’re here now!! Hurray! Sakura: Oh, thanks. …ooh, really? Sucks to be him. Kabuto: Thanks so much for your worry, but it’s really not necessary. Sakura: hee. Listen, we both know this is only gonna last for the rest of this chapter so… may as well enjoy it now right? What other or better choice is there? I’m not gonna worry about the future, just for this little bit of time. Kabuto: …I’m not gonna complain. -makeoutsZakura: Hey, I may have hundreds of underling who worship me but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate each and everyone…even though that may be case. Sakura: How very sweet of you… Zakura: Well, seeing as you’re getting tougher I may as well get sappier. Naruto: I didn’t know you could grow brains!! Yondaime: …you DID go to school didn’t you? Naruto: Yeah, why? Yondaime: no reason… Itachi: You missed an Uchiha besides your brother. Just thought I'd let you know. Lee: Of course evil can be youthful. Not all villains are old men. Look at Itachi, well under 30! Besides, demons like Kyuubi often have ETERNAL youth, Zaku/Kyuubi: how are you handling your imminent re-imprisonment? Kyuubi: who in this room do you particularly like or hate? Kabuto/Sakura: congrats on finally getting your head straight! Lucifel! Congrats on this grand slam ending to your fic! Itachi: …see, why do you fans have to do that? We were all having a nice ending chapter and you go a drop a thing like that! UGH!! I can’t stand you people! –goes into the pool room to sulk-

Tsunade: -walking out with the other two- You’re lucky we were done Itachi… Jiraiya: One sec… -walks back in-SPLASHJiraiya: -runs back out then sits with Tsu and Oro whistling innocentlyItachi: YOU ALL SUCK!! Kiba: You wish!! Shino: You do. Kiba: -blush- That’s personal… Neji: Ewww… Kiba: Ok, you can’t go from whore to prude in .5 seconds. NO ONE will buy that. Neji: I’m not trying to. You’ve always been gross. Kiba: …you suck… Lee: I…nooo… Itachi: -from the pool room still- I’M NOT YOUTHFUL!! SCREW YOUTH!! Lee: There? You see! Youth is not age! It’s a state of mind! Like Gai-sensei!! Kyuubi: So, how do you explain youthful demons? Lee: -whimper- Gaaraaaaaa…make it go away!! Gaara: -sighs, slaps Kyuubi, hugs LeeKyuubi: Hey you little brat! Gaara: You’re a chibi, what’re you gonna do? Kyuubi: …I hate you. Koda: You’re not very impressive you know…

Kyuubi: Shuddap…and anyway, there’s nothing I can do about it. At least I won’t be chibi. Zakura: -shrugs- I’ll manage… Kyuubi: Anyway, Naruto and Yondaime. Sakura: Which is which? Kyuubi: Both. Naruto: Huh? Yondaime: …even I don’t quite follow that one… Kyuubi: Well, I guess that’s your issue isn’t it? Sakura: thanks! Kabuto: This is getting embarrassing… Lucifel: Thanks! -claps.- About time Sakura-chan and Kabuto got together. Let me say this... MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE! o.O -gives every one a hug!Ino: What’s your favorite Month? And day and time and what time in the week? Orochimaru: I don't know what to ask you... Let me see...Oh! Do you like death note? If so...who do like? – L: I know who kira is!! Me: Hush it L do not say anything for god sake! L: ...Can I have some sweets? Me: Uh yea sure?*gives*Naruto: what is your fav. Sweets? Ryuk: God damn it I want a fucking apple! Me: RYUK!*huggles.*Zakura: Omfg! o.o -gives zakura cookies a coke and lots of sweets!- I just L-O-V-E you! Sasuke: What are you going to do now? Haku:-gives him a fluffy shirt.- Hope you like it! Merry Chirstmas eve ! Lucifel: Merry Christmas to you too!! Kabuto: If I blush anymore I’m gonna over-heat. Sakura: Why—

Ino: Oh come, who WOULDN’T want to know everything about me?! –smile- My favorite month is definitely June! Because that’s when everyone starts showing more skin and I (unlike most people) stay in shape year-round so I really look good!! Shikamaru: So troublesome… Ino: And OBVIOUSLY the weekend is best! I loooove Friday nights! Because it’s usually the start to a fantastic weekend!! Choji: Ohhh…and that’s stir-fry night at home…mmmmm… Shikamaru: Oh, hell yeah. Even I can enthusiastic about that stuff. Choji: Why do you think I invite you over every Friday?? Ino: So you can ogle his sexy abs? Choji: That’s a happy coincidence. Shikamaru: -raises eyebrowsOrochimaru: Ya! Is awesome! Light is soooo smart and sexy yay!! And Ryuk is kind of sexy in his own way too… Jiraiya: -twitch- You’re weird. Orochimaru: You like it. Jiraiya: Did I say otherwise? Naruto: Ramen candy!! Yondaime: And WHERE did you get something like that? Naruto: I invented it. Yondaime: Of course… Naruto: See, first you get RAMEN, and then you add sugar until it crystallizes and then — Yondaime: I, uh, didn’t ask…or especially want to know. Naruto: But…I worked hard on it…-big puppy eyesYondaime: Er…then by all means, what’s next?

Naruto: YAY!! Okokokok, then… -and more gorey detailsZakura: ahhh, fangirls. Is there anything they can’t supply? Sakura: …I don’t want to think about that one. Sasuke: Well I-Haku: FLUFFY SHIRT!!! –hugs himself- it’s like walking around wearing HUGS!!! Zabuza: I prefer to do the hugging…with or without shirts. Haku: Hee. Well, I like my shirt. –snugglesZabuza: -laughs, shakes head, cuddlesSasuke: Anyway. I’ll go back to Orochimaru’s, continue to get stronger. Kill Itachi. And then go back to Konoha and start fixing things up… Shikamaru: Nice to know you’ve really got your priorities straight. Sasuke: -sulkOMG! The Last Review! Alrighty then, first question. 1) Lucifel, since I don't think you've had ANY yet, will you do a semi-serious story where the relationships and characteristics of the cast from here carry over into the the Naruto world? I personally think that would be freakin GREAT. 2) Kyuubi, I know we've had our differences early on, but would you please help me out? The Navy is really pissin me off, so you think you could... you know... annihilate it a bit? 3) Kurenai, wanna come over to my place? 4) Tsunade, wanna come over to my place? 5) Anyone else, wanna come over to my place? 6) Finally, I dare everyone there... TO GROUP HUG AND LIKE IT! Least you could all do after a year together, ne? Catch ya on the flip side everybody. Much Love, Khellan Rafe Lucifel: -sitting in a chair with a fancy suit looking very smug- Well, since you ask Khellen Rafe I would like to use this opportunity to 1) Put on the air of an obnoxious political talkshow guest and 2) let you all know that a saku/kabu one-shot-story is very much in the works. And probably a few more Ask Sakura-related oneshots. But I’ll discuss more of this at my big press release this weekend. –charming smile-

Sakura: what the hell? Lucifel: Right, because no one expects randomness from this story anymore. –rolls eyesKyuubi: Sure. –gets up, stretches, leaves…Dododo lala deedeedum dadum ledeedeeda…. Kyuubi: -comes back in seething and growlingKoda: What happened Kyuubi-sama?! Kyuubi: They laughed at me. Yondaime: So, since you’re chibi you weren’t able to do anything? Kyuubi: No, no, they laughed BEFORE I killed everyone and blew up the ships…but they stilled laughed… Kurenai: HELL YES!! And the rest of you are NO!! NO I SAY!! FOR THE MAN IN UNIFORM IS MINE!!!!! Kiba: I thought you after the man in uniTARD. Kurenai: I can use a break. Everyone: Awwww ma— Sakura: WAIT. Everyone: -waits and pays attentionSakura: Well…umm…this is kind of important so could I get a soap box or something? Gaara: I’ve got a frap-crate. Sakura: That seems appropriate. Ahem. Ok, listen you guys…I never, and I mean NEVER, thought I would say this, much less really think this but, here goes. I know we all are enemies or rivals or…or dead or something but when it comes down to it—it’s been fun. It’s been really, really, fun. Sure, it’s unrealistic and when we get out of here everyone will be out to kill the other again but right now, we’re all friends. And, we’ve all been through a lot while we’ve been here so…I want you all to know that I at least, even if we’re all supposed to forget this, will try to keep something I’ve learned from here in my heart. And I really do want to hug you all. …

Shino; Whatever you’re on can I have some? Haku: Guys! –stands on frap crate next to the shaken Sakura- You all know, deep down inside that you feel the same! Come on! Let’s HUG!! Everyone: -goes in for the hugHaku: but WAIT!! Everyone: -screeches to a haltHaku: It has to be EVERYONE. Naruto: And? Haku: Ahem. Sakura: Oh come onnn. Haku: Someone has to go get Itachi. Sakura, don’t whine, he’s been here only a few lines less than you. You this story would have been nothing without him. Sakura: Fine…but I’m not getting him. Deidara: I’ll go, yeah! Orochimaru: No, we need someone who can REALLY cheer him up. I won’t have Itachi being one of the only people who doesn’t end up happy here. Naruto: Aww, who would poss—no… Orochimaru: Yes! SASUKE!! Sasuke: …what? Orochimaru: Go get your brother. Sasuke: godammit…I hate him! I wanna kill him! I— Tsunade: BOY! IF YOU DON’T GET YOUR ASS IN THERE WE’LL GIVE YOUR ASS TO HIM!!! Sasuke: I’m on my way right now. –zooms into pool room- Hey, they want you outside.

Itachi: But all the uchiha’s aren’t dead…and…and you hate me. I let you live cuz I adore you… Sasuke: Oh…that’s er…really sweet and all. But um, they’re having a group hug outside so— Itachi: Oh PLEASE. I’m more of a pervert than Orochimaru. None of them want to hug me…I know I’m unloved. Sasuke: What about Deidara? Itachi: Deidara is the same way with EVERYONE, it’s not special… Sasuke: -sighs and thinks- I may hate him…but he’s still my brother…and I’ll never get out and kill him unless this happens…-walks up, hugs him and kisses himItachi: Eh? Sasuke: well, hey, it’s just incest right? Itachi: YEEEEE!! YES!! IT WORKED!!! Sasuke: -after a moment- …You did all that just to get enough pity out of me to do something like that, didn’t you? Itachi: Yes. –smileSasuke: I really do hate you… Itachi: Oh I know, but this will make everything worth any pain! It was even better than hoped! Yay! Now, you said something about a group hug…-leavesSasuke: -sighs-they leave and there is a MASSIVE group hug surrounding the frap crateZakura: And now, how about a little New Years Eve celebration? SAKE!!!! Tsunade: WOOOOO!!!!! -The room is instantly decked out like a party room. Interpret that as you willItachi: ...It's just incest :D Have fun in Akatsuki, and say hi to Pein and Konan! -huggles a lot, and hands over tons of frapsDeidara: Make lots of art in heaven! I hope I see your explosions all the way to my house! I wish you were my brother!

Yondaime: I hope you meet your wife again in heaven. Have fun in there! You're great! -hugglesNaruto: Good luck in becoming a Hokage! And eat lots of ramen! Kurenai: -hands over tons of chocolate- Take care of your kiddo! ...By the way, how has he survived for a year?! Hinata: -hugs a lot- You're so cute and wonderful! What do YOU think of SasuHina? Gaara: -hands over fraps- Good luck in being Kazekage! And take care of Lee! ..And the other way around! Kisame: have fun being a fishy akatsuki. And uh... Don't rape Itachi. Please... Kyuubi: Um... Have fun inside Naruto, don't kill him... And good luck in being evil! You're a cute little fox. Manda: ...Hi. Bye. Zakura&Sakura: Okay, not too sure if Zakura returns inside Sakura, but oh well. I hope you two become strong, and that Sakura won't be completely a scaredy cat. And that spa trip is still waiting for you two! -huggles Lucifel: This has been a really great fanfic, and you rocked it! I'm really flattered that you put me on that little list up there -points at it, prints and frames itSniffle... I loved this fic... I hope you make another one someday ^^ If you will, warn me about it and I'll review every single chapter! Sigh... Okay, I'll stop this here ^^ BYE BYE! -pulls everyone into another giant hugItachi: Indeed it is. These fans are really managing to redeem themselves this time around, I mean dayum. Deidara: YEA!! Of course, yeah! I will be making explosions wherever I am yeah!! Sasori: eugh. Deidara: Having a family might be fun…but naw, I’d prolly just kill them yeah… Yondaime: Er, thank you. And yes, she’s there. –returns hugNaruto: You think I wouldn’t?! RAMEN!!!!! –attacks the ramen bowl set up for the partyKabuto: -to Sakura- Should I get you some punch, then? Sakura: -snicker- No, but some sake’d be cool. Kabuto: Coming right up. Kurenai: I…don’t know…ack! I shouldn’t be drinking!! Lucifel: It’s cool, time was suspended anyway. Kurenai: Oh…-chugs sake-

Hinata: Me…and…Sasuke? –twitchSasuke: hmm…well she is— Naru/Shika: -condescending warning glareKiba/Kure/Shin/Zaku: -‘I will kill you’ glareSasuke: --not my type. And besides, much more important things to do besides relationships… Hinata: I feel cold… Gaara: I will. –guzzles frapsLee: As will I! Gaara is my number one! Forever and always! As I am to him! Gaara: -cuddling fraps and thinking- no one shall ever take you from me…my darlings….my own…my precious… Kisame: Hey, you can’t rape the willing. Deidara: True that!! Yeah! Kyuubi: And this was going SO well…cute little fox my ass…what a bitch…-grumble, grrEd: Well…you are. Kyuubi: If you want to talk about little. Ed: You’re smaller than me! You CAN’T get on my case! So HA! Ha! Hahahahahahahaahah!! YESSSS!! YOU ARE SMALL BEOTCH!! AND I AM LARGE!!! I AM OF THE BIG PEOPLE!!! Kisame: You’re also about the right height to blow me and still be standing. Ed: YOU MUST ALL DIE!!! –rampagesManda: I’ll eat you. Orochimaru: Behave… Manda: I AM.

Sakura: ooooh, spa… Zakura: Mmmm, HELL yeah. This kid is cool. Lucifel: yay. Love ya and you’re welcome. And unfortunately sequel’s aren’t that likely…but again, I’m gonna talk more about that in a bit. Sakura: By the time this is over I’ll have a hugging Charlie-horse. HT: ok, everyone gets a plushie that turns into what you most desire for christmas. now then, something meaningful... i actually thought about something meaningful to say for this review, but i cant it. that happens a lot, actually... amber: well, this gave her as well as me and her few friends something to do. she looks forward to it and everything. but i guess when this ends she'll finish kingdom hearts and work on kh2. -sighHT: oh, i . you helped me get over my fear of M rated fanfics, and embrace my yaoi obsession! thanks lucifel! :D now for a bunch of QUESTIONS! what was your most enjoyable chapter in this fanfic, lucifel? will you all me as a crazed fangirl when this is over? im gonna capture kabuto and sakura when this is done MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! oh, sasuke too. :3 french vanilla ice cream, anyone? what did the paper say, hinata? people who are supposedly dead, is it fun being dead? WHO WANTS SPARKLERS TO CELEBRATE NEW YEARS!? -hands out 400 sparklers to whoever wants 'emHT: I LOVE YALL! -sigh- even oro... kinda... -gives everyone chocolate covered cookies to celebrate a succesful fanfictionLucifel: Don’t worry HT, you don’t need to say anything big. Your loyalty says it all. – hugs- you’re awesome. Oh, but I’m glad I got you onto yaoi! Yay! And really, every chapter was good. Some were a little slow, and some I thought really rocked, but if I wasn’t feeling something I wouldn’t write it. That’s why I loved this fic. Every moment was me just doing what I wanted. Brilliance. I love 99 percent of the moments. Everyone: YES> Sasuke: You scare me… Itachi: You’re fucking WEIRD. Sakura: You were one of the first to really be strange… Lucifel: this is why I love you.

Sakura: You can’t capture me!! Kabuto: Hey…if we’re together… Sakura: -twitchSasuke: NO! NEVER AGAIN!! Kankuro: I’ll come back. Gaara: You will not. Kankuro: aww… Everyone: ICE CREAM!!! Kurenai: -adds chocolateGaara: -adds frapHinata: Uweh? Th-th-the paper? Zakura: Er, that— Sakura: Nope, let her talk. Hinata: It…it… Kiba: -takes paperHinata: EEEK!! Kiba: -reading slowly, for he is dumb- Hinata; I have ired you ever since you arrived here. You are cute and charming and I really like you. I’d have told you sooner but I’m kind of scared Kurenai or Kiba will kill me. So, I know it’s late in the story but if you wanna snuggle or something just come on over…signed Zakura…wtf? Zakura: -stalks over and bitch slaps KibaShino: You deserved that. Zakura: Sorry to have embarrassed you Hinata. I didn’t mean that to make such a scene. – turns around to go sulkHinata: Zakura! Wait! –runs up-

Zakura: -turns around- ye— Hinata: -kissEveryone: ZOMG Hinata: You’re…uh…really pretty…and I think you’re nicer than you act… Kurenai: …I don’t know how to react to this. Naruto: …eh? Zakura: …what? Hinata: -bluuush- do you wanna cuddle? Zakura: -just nods mutely and they go snuggle in a cornerNaruto: wtf? I thought she had a crush on me. Yondaime: Girls will only wait so long… Kimimaro: Aaaanyway, being dead in heaven sucked. Yondaime: I liked it. Kimimaro: -shrugs- it’s just more your thing… Haku: heehee! It was cool! You could do all kinds of neat things! Zabuza: …yeeeah… Sasori: Hell fucking rocks. Deidara: OMGSPARKLERYAY!! YEAH!!! -sets them all off at once.-the room is one big explosionLast chapter! No way! I'll miss all of you guys! To Haku, where were you and Zabuza before you got summoned to the room? Sasuke how did you get pulled down the path of sluttiness, especially when you had Shikamaru! While am at it how did you get there Neji? Jiraiya why do you pick Orochiamaru over Tsunade, she's so much cooler. Lucifel: And we’ll miss you!!

Sakura: Dammit Deidara!! Everything is in ruins!! Zakura: ...the hell it is…-hugs HinataHaku: We were in heaven…and I might be there again… Deidara: Oh, calm down guys, it was just a few sparklers, yeah. Tsunade: -glowersJiraiya: What’ your issue? I think the singed top is a nice look for you. Tsunade: don’t start with me mister. Sasuke: …it’s SEX. It’s the most tempting thing in the world! It happens to everyone. Shikamaru: Everyone being you, the akatsuki, Oro and Neji? Sasuke: …yes? Neji: I wanted attention and acknowledgement. Kiba: Gaaaaay. Neji: -rolls eyesJiraiya: Well…I dunno. Tsunade’s violent without much cause and Oro’s just…sexy. Anywho, we’re all together now so— Tsunade: --so you’re still a jerk. Jiraiya: eh. Maybe. Sasuke: i turn you into a girl again Naruto: what you said to sasuke was nice Everyone gets a christmas present (its whatever you want thats in reason) Undinedemon Sasuke: NO!! no dammit! Sakura: What would a sing-off of Ask Sakura be without gender changing? Sasuke: -sulkNaruto: that and you deserve whatever happens to you.

Sasuke: thanks for hating me. Naruto: You’re welcome emo-kid. Oh, and thanks, undine! Kisame: Hey, this shrimpy kid is really annoying me…can I kill him? I mean, he’s not a part of Naruto so— Ed: I’m NOT SHRIMPY!!!! YOU’RE SHRIMPY!! YOU FREAKY FISH MAN!! Sakura: Noooo. Kisame: Dammit. Deidara: MORE FIREWORKS YEAH!! Sakura: Oh god… -and more fireworks there wereKisame: -throws Ed in the way of a FireworkEd: NO!! –jumps on firework and starts riding it around the room, trying to kill things as he goesZabuza: -tripEd: ACK! –splats into a wall-Being the last chapter, he grins -quite- largely, slips Lucifiel into his lap, petting her sides is a delicious way- Mind if I help out this chapter, my love? Sasuke: Goddamn you! Now I can't torture you, since you've lost Sakura, and Shika forgave you. *Grumbles, dropping his horrible bag of -doom- next to Kyuubi* Here, you have fun with it. Hinata: Hinata. Zakura loves you, truely. She may seem roguh, but for you, she is shy, and gentle, and sweet. I would go to her. Or at least tell your crush you like him. It's terrible seeing you in any sort of pain. Lee: Good point. And don't forget, we meet to do training once you get out! YOUTHFUL TRAINING! YOUTH! YOSH! P.S. *Tosses an exact clone of himself in and all the other guests that were considered hot* Lucifel: don’t you always? I’m gonna miss our fanfic PDA. –kissSasuke: Trust me, I’m tortured… Deidara: Oooh! I wanna do your hair yeah! And put you in dresses, yeah!

Kyuubi; Bag of doom huh…-sticks head in- what’s this? –LOUD BANG AND LOTSA SMOKEKyuubi: -as smoke clears- I’m back baby!!! Deidara: Wheee! You’re naked yeah!! Kyuubi: Yeah. –smirk- It’s a perk. –tosses another potion at EdEd: -is become chibi- what?! NOO!!! Kyuubi: How do you like it? Ed: I deal with it all the time! Screw you! Kyuubi: -chuckles- My bad. Hinata: -blush- Yes, Zakura is very nice. Zakura: -hugging Hinata tightly- mine. Kurenai: I know she wants that but…my instincts… Kiba: I know…damn. Naruto: So…she DID have a crush on me right? Kiba: Your fault dude. You didn’t go for it soon enough. Naruto: …dammit… Lee; YES!! YOU NO THAT THERE IS NO EVIL IN YOUTH!!! WE SHALL TRAIN UNITL MOUNTAINS CANNOT STOP US!! YOOOOOSH!! Gaara: -to the smirking Kimi- don’t say anything…just….don’t say a thing. Kimimaro: Whatever would I say anything about? –snickersnortZakura: hot guests? Ayame and Anko, right? Ayame: Helloooo…OH! A MAKEOVER!! Sasuke: You get away from me!!

Ayame: My, my, we need to makeover your attitude too. Sasuke: I hate you already. Ita/Oro/Dei: AYAME!!! –hugsAnko: Sup my lovely ladies? Zakura: Hi. Hinata: H-hello… Kurenai: Go awaaaay… Lucifel: -pulls Jaden’s clone into the poll room with herAnko: what’s this? –turning to Zakura and Hinata- You two an item now? Zakura: Kind of…we’re just cuddling. Hinata: -smileblushAnko: Fair enough. But, if that’s how it is, I’ve got nothing to do here…I’ll be getting back to Temari… Gaara: -shock and horrorKankuro: -drool and lustAyame: Kya! These ribbons are perfect for you! Fantastical XD I shall go set up the scanner now... you defently deserve to see the pictures Helen-chan managed to come up with. BUT! I have thought of a genuine question... how often does that happen? ... no thats not the question >< Lucifel: Wait…so…yours wasn’t the Halloween art…what art were you giving me? I are confuse…I need to keep my fans straight. (and I usually do such a good job too!!) Naruto Well then…what WAS the question? Lucifel: you can see it later. Naruto: So the point of putting this up was…?

Lucifel: He-Yan’s awesome. ^_^ -rolls on the floor- Oh that was so funny! GO KYUUBI! Sorry Lucifel :3 And I want meh monkey. Captain who-was-he-again is threatening to kill me if I don't get it back.. -glances over shoulder nervouslyCaptain who-was-he-again: ARR, I WANT ME MONKEY BACK! ED! How ya doing? -kisses ionately- Did you miss me? I sure missed you! -laughs evilly and lightning flashes in the backgroundHinata: W-where is the monkey? Zakura: Hell if I know. I think we ate him. Akamaru: -burpEd: NOOO! FANGIRLS!!! Sasuke: Lord Sasuke! Glad to see you. Did you know that a robot version of you was here lots of chapters back? Sakura: CONGRATS on getting together with Kabuto! FINALLY! But will you still let Sasuke be a friend at least? Kabuto: Take good care of Sakura! (Gives him high-powered Laptop) Itachi: ...Farewell. See ya next ask fic. For the final time, Catch you next continue! And have a Happy New Year! (Tosses in Apple Cider) Sasuke: W-what? Orochimaru: It was AWESOME!! –shiny eyesSasuke: …ho god…did you guys molest it? Ayame: Of course! You’re the most molest-able little child EVER! –continues brushing his hair happilyItachi: God I missed you. Ayame: I know…OH! That reminds me! I made you a dress! –hand him a Chinese-style akatsuki-print dress- I thought it suited y— Itachi: KYAAAA! –rips from his hands and puts it on- I’m so sexy!! Ayame: Teehee, yes. Sakura: …well, maybe. Once he’s good and humiliated.

Sasuke: and I’m NOT now?! Sakura: Honey, you weren’t even here for the first chapters. You OWE. Sasuke: …-grumbleKabuto: Right, cuz I want something to distract me from Sakura. –throws laptop aside and tackles SakuraItachi: sometimes it sucks to be so popular…oh well! At least I’m gay and pervy in most of them!! Sakura: Y’know, some people would— Itachi: Am I some people? Sakura: Well…no… Itachi: then shut the fuck up. OOH!! Nostalgia tinglies… Zakura: APPLE CIDER!! WOO!! GET THE VODKA!! Hinata: I don’t want any vodka in mine… Zakura: honey, I never thought for a second you would. Everyone get a cup, however you want it. We’ll use it for the New Years toast. Ichimaruka: Happy Holidays everyone! Anyway, we have presents for our favorite charaters Orochiko: No duh Kimimaro- Here's some boba milk tea. I think Kabuto was stupid for picking Sakura over you, really you are a better choice. Kabuto- Here's some more corpses to refresh you're supply. We are so proud of you, evolving so much. From getting over Orchimaru the old fart to our lovely Sakura. Neji- I suggest you devote yourself to protecting Hinata, that way you won't be distracted by others. Shikamaru- Here's a La-Z-Boy have fun with it. Glad you dumped Sasuke, give Chouji a chance ok he's awsome. (Orochiko: hehe squishy) Deidara- (Orochiko: Here's some special fireworks and rockets hehehe have fun) Kiba-sama- Gourmet dog shaped snacks. Orochimaru--double glomp- hello. Zabuza- here's a book, it will be useful. Take care of Haku Haku- Strawberry Pocky. Take care of yourself buddy -hugglesThank you for this fic Angel Lucifel, we enjoyed it. Happy Holidays, heres some cyber

cookies. -Ichimaruka and Orochiko Everyone: PRESENTS!!! Sakura: Because you haven’t got enough yet!! Orochimaru: Hell no! never! Kimimaro: Oh…thanks and thanks? Kabuto: -embarrassed blushingKabuto: OOO!! Corpses!!! Sakura: -looking at him in disgustKabuto: …Corpses that I will never use…-innocent smile as he pushes them under a tableSakura: -sigh- it’s ok. I know you’re creepy. Kabuto: You’re awesome. Neji: THAT’S IT!! I can defend Hinata! Kurenai: She’s already like completely protected. Neji: Not always! I can watch her at home! No one else can do that! Kurenai: ahahahaha, yeah right. She’s protected. Trust me. Neji: Well…godammit. Shikamaru: -lounges in LaZboy…with Ino and Choji curled with himKiba; how do they all fit? Shino: They’re the kind of friends that don’t know what personal space is…eww. Kiba: I RAPE your personal space. Shino: -rolls eyes- mature. Kiba: thanks.

Deidara: YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!!! -FIREWORKSZakura: I swear to god! One more time!! Hinata: -kisses her cheekZakura: -melts againShino: If you eat those Kiba, I’m not kissing you. Kiba: Awww. –gives to AkamaruOrochimaru: Er, hi? Zabuza: -throws book aside- the hell it will be. Haku: What’s the…kama sutra? Zabuza: Gimme that. Haku: K! I has Pocky!! –devoursZabuza: -patsLucifel: Yay! You’re welcome! CYBER COOKIES!!! So...this is it huh? Man ima miss you guys so much T_T Seriously i luvs u all (attempts to hug everyone) And yes Manda we where serious, sry but ur to fucking awesome to go without a fanclub woo! Thnx for disposing of the pathetic sniveling worm I call my little brother! Now if only I could dispose of the rest of the fam...(coughs) ANYWHIZZLE! Here are the last awesome fraps from me... (crys) THIS IS SO SAD! (Raina) Damn, u r just to emotional... I really couldnt care (crawls to emo corner) (Kekaiyou) Eh...im with her (s emoness) (me) What will you all do once your free? Ok, well bye everyone T_T I will miss u all even tho most of u will be happy to see the psycho that is me leave. (hands out christmass cookies) Happy holidays and have a screwed up new year! Manda: thanks. Whatever.

Ita/Gaa: FRAPS!! Gaara: -GASP- What if….what if these are our last fraps? Itachi: …we must find a way to bring the joy of fraps to ninja-dom. Gaara: Indeed. -serious ponderingSakura: We’ll probably all just go back to normal… Itachi: Who GIVES a flying fuck about when we’re ‘free’? this is about being captured and LOVING IT!!! Ayame: Kyaaa! Yess!! Sakura: -smiles- true… Ed: Since the fuck when?! CHRISTMAS COOKIES YAY!! To Ed; Are you and Roy married now? Or at least together? Sasuke, (hi btw) who were your best and worst lays. Shino, so you like spiders and scorpions too, or just bugs? I give Kiba the watery, firey, earthy, and windy Kards, and the book of Klow. I change Gaara's tattoo to a red heart. Lee gets a shamrock in the same place. Naruto, how do you honestly feel about Kyuubi now? Kyuubi, did you get anything positive from your time with naruto and Yondaimei? Ed: No. Eww. Not married. Just together…kind of loosely…it’s complicated. Ayame: Don’t’ let him mess with your heart! Demand devotion! Ed: But I like kissing Winry on the side… Ayame: Oh, well, then never mind. Sasuke: Best…Shikamaru…definitely. And worst would have to be…eh, Kankuro. I wasn’t entirely expecting it so… Kankuro: so that DID happen! I wasn’t sure…I was muffins at the time…

Shikamaru: -shakes headShino: Not as much, but yeah. Kiba: And I’m your fave right? Shino: haha, suuure. Kiba: You’re mean. –gasp- KARDS!! -seals quickly- yayayayayayyay!!!!! I can totally dominate with this now!! Shino: It’s the only book you’ll ever properly use. Kiba: heeey…yeah that’s true… Gaara: …you just fucked with my identity…you have the honor of being the last person on the list… Lee: Aww! That’s so cute! I love it! It is very youthful! –big hugGaara: …you got lucky… Lee: Look! We match!! Gaara: -smile- yeah… Naruto: I don’t ever want him back? Zakura: AHEM. Naruto: …FINE. And he makes a cute Chibi. Kyuubi: Unless you count blue balls and bruised pride among positive things…no. Zakura do other "inner people" exist and where can I get one? good bye I love you all! Zakura: If they do, I don’t know about them. Sakura: Naw, I’m special. Most people just have demons and stuff… Zakura: anyway, how you get something close to one is through a series of mental trauma that forces your brain to split into many personalities. Go you. Lucifel: bye!! They love you too! Really!!

Kisame-'Super Fish' you look like a fish yet you talk and walk. Can you breathe under water? Zabuza- I figured you're skin was gray from malnourishment or something. You almost look a bit of a grayish brown. Deidara the flash back was creepy and i'll be having nightmares. And how did you see him as an armadillo? here are gifts. Frap machine, pool filled with chocolate. Kisame: I answered this before, but yeah. It’s another bit of the jutsus I’ve got. Ayame: kinky. Kisame: aww, yeah. Zabuza: No, it’s normal. I’m plenty nourished. –nibbles Haku’s earHaku: Teehee, you’re tickling me. Zabuza: that’s the idea. Deidara: Cuz of his puppet form, yeah! Totally armadillo, yeah!! Ayame: Yeah! I agree! Sasori: You’ve never even SEEN it. –glowerAyame: Sooo? Gaara: I will keep this always! And Suna shall have fraps! FRAPS I SAY!! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!!!!!! Lee: -shakes head- sometimes I wonder how I could love you so much. Kimimaro: -has a laughter fitGaara: -glaresKurenai: If anyone needs me I’ll be bathing in chocolate… Zaku/Jira: -nosebleedHinata: Kyaaa! You’re nose! Zakura: I’ll be fine…

Okay, one thing has bothered me about the portrayal of yaoi couples throughout fanfiction... Except for Orochimura, who I am sure in all his knowledge would know the term. ... and maybe Neji. DON'T YOU All KNOW WHAT A FLIP-FLOP SESSION IS? Sheesh... Itachi: where’s the fun in THAT?! Orochimaru: Yeah! It’s all about asserting your position!! Neji: I would have if anyone let me… Sasuke: I wanted to, but Shikamaru was too lazy most of the time…or, you know, overly enthused. Shikamaru: -blushHaku, I give you a LOL cat. Orochimaru-sama, how much candy or slurpie do you have to eat/drink to Turn your tongue a different color? -throws in Hao's pants, because they ruleLolcat: Oh, Hi. I are just crashing your new years…carry on. Haku: FLUFFY!! Lolcat: why you do this? Orochimaru: A LOT. Jira and Tsunade dared me to try one time when I was younger…I didn’t crash for three days…three glorious days… Jiraiya: And his tongue was blue for about a week. Kyuubi: GIMME THOSE!! Naruto: Gladly. Ayame: But they’re so AWESOME. Kyuubi: they have ULTIMATE power!! Hao only got his power from his pants you know…muwahahahahahaha… Yondaime: Yes, you are wearing incredibly imposing capris. Kyuubi: …damn short kids… Lolcat: I can has new year? Zakura: LAST TEN SECONDS!!!

10!! -kurenai dives into pool, laughing manically9!!! -Ayame unveils his triumph that is the incredibly powdered and glossed Sasuke8!!! -Kiba steals a dog treat7!! -Zabuza looses his patience and tackles Haku to the ground6!! -Ed tries to sneak attack Kisame and has an epic fail5!! -Sasuke desperately tries to tear off the makeover, much to Ayame’s dismay4!!! -Ed’s epic fail sends him flying into a pile of saved fireworks3!! -Deidara and Ayame force Sasuke to keep the makeover2!! -Ed tries to transmute something to kill Kisame1!!! -the spark from his transmutation light the fireworks and a massive display goes up through the suddenly open roofHAPPY NEW YEAR!!! -under the fireworks, everyone raises their glasses in a toast and start kissing and hugging and laughing and celebrating. Zakura almost faints after a sweet kiss from Hinata. Shino

punches Kiba at the taste of dog treats, the sannin are all kissing at once, Naruto and Yondaime are hugging, Itachi is eating Sasuke’s face. And right in the middle of it all Sakura and Kabuto are have a kiss of epic proportions. It’s all pretty awesome.Zakura: Ok, well, now we’re going to everyone’s last questions. Each of our main cast will answer one last question, selected by Lucifel, and then be sent on their way. Koda, Lolcat and Ayame have gotta leave now. Ayame: Bye bye!! Lovely seeing you all! Lolcat: Kthnxbai. -They goEd: What about ME?! Zakura: Calm down, we’ll get to you. Ed: -grumble, sitZakura: Alrighty. You’re al gonna leave in order of appearance. Sasuke. You go first. Kiba: That is SO not fair. –puts on mocking voice- you guys have been here for almost a year more and so you have to leave last, blah blah blah. –sighZakura: The last reviews were all given by reviewers (some asked specifically) and their names are signed under their reviews. Lucifel: Many thanks to the guys that helped out when I asked! And especially Kohaku who filled in the missing pieces!! SASUKE Sasuke: Yeah, sorry about the last very fangirlish review... I was REEALLY high on something... Cough... Was the decicion to leave Konoha hard, or were you certain that you'd do it? And are you scared to return to Konoha, now that you have betrayed it once? -MoonIdiot Sasuke: It’s cool. I’m used to fangirls, trust me. And…yes, I was certain I would do it. My whole LIFE is hard so one more tough spot wasn’t that bad. Besides, I knew I had Shikamaru backing me. Kiba: -snicker- is that what they’re calling it now? Sasuke: So, yeah, I’m nervous as to what will happen when I come back. But hey, I’m a major character, I’m sure Ill be forgiven and let go.

Tsunade: AHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Yeah RIGHT!! Sasuke: …dammit. Zakura: Ok then. -A door appears with Sasuke’s name on itZakura: You can go. Sasuke: -nods, turns to Shikamaru- I really am sorry. I’ll make it up to you. Just wait and see. Shikamaru: maybe. I won’t hold my breath…good luck with whatever you do. Sasuke: -sighs, hugs Naruto quickly and leaves0Ino: …that jerk!! Didn’t even say goodbye to me!! Itachi: And what about me!!! Orochimaru: I’m his freaking MENTOR!! Itachi: Yeah, he’ll see you again at the end of this chapter. Orochimaru: Oh yeah…yay!! Zakura: Choji. You’re turn. Choji: Do I haaaaave too? –cuddles closer to ShikamaruZakura: yes, you lazy bum. Choji: Hey! That’s Shika!! Shikamaru: Word. CHOUJI: Chouji, This is a hard on, what makes a perfect pizza? -Kohaku Kawa Choji: ooooh, that IS a hard on… Sakura: You know what she meant!!!

Choji: anyway. The perfect pizza would have to be...pepperoni, sausage, black olives, peppers, pineapple, jalepenos, ham— Ino: the perfect Pizza as a WHOLE, not what you like on a pizza. Choji: this IS one pizza…ok, and you need some squid, extra cheese and dash of pepper. Shikamaru: I have actually seen him eat this. Choji: Oh, and you gotta have garlic-butter dipping sauce!! Shikamaru: -nods-Door with Choji’s name appearsChoji: Awww man. Ok. I’m craving that pizza now anyway… –gets up, hugs Shika and Ino and leavesZakura: INO!! Ino: Ack!! What?! Zakura: you’re go…nobody liked you enough to review for you very much, so you just get a nice well-wishing from Moon… INO: Ino: I hope you become a strong not very fangirlish kunoichi... And take care of Shika and Chouji ^^ Ino: Aww, thanks! I’ll do my best! Itachi: I love it when fangirls hate fangirls…lolz Ino: And of course! Shikamaru and Choji are like my brothers!! Shikamaru: But you’ve…asked me out… Ino: er…it’s just incest right? Itachi: HELL YEAH!! -door with Ino’s name appearsIno: Ok leaving now…oh! Real quick! Sakura! I’m so proud of you sticking up for yourself like that! Can’t wait to hang with you again when you get back! –leaves-

Sakura: …eh? Ooook… Zakura: hehe, cute. Ok, Yon? Naruto: Nooooo!!! Yondaime: It’s ok, Naruto. At least we got to see each other for a little bit right? Naruto: -whimper sniffYONDAIME: Yondaime- If you had no child during the attack what would you do? -Lyon Ryushi Yondaime: …I don’t know, really. It was kind of a panicked decision…I probably would have ended up sealing him within someone else, whoever came to mind. Kyuubi: They probably couldn’t have handled me. Your kid is a special breed. Naruto: Strong?! Kyuubi: Lucky. Naruto: awww… Yondaime: And strong. I’m proud of you. –hugs-Yondaime’s door appearsYondaime: All right then…Oh, Jiraiya? Jiraiya: yah? Yondaime: Thanks for looking after him. Jiraiya: -thumbs up- of course. Yondaime: -smiles and leavesZakura: akamaru, you’re turn. Kiba: WHAT?! You can’t take him from me again!! Zakura: It’ll be like two seconds, calm down. AKAMARU:

Akamaru: If you weren't a dog, what would you be? -Avatarjk137 Akamaru: bark, yap arf!!! –Dead! I would rather be dead than any other creature! For dogs are the noblest of all beings!!Kiba: What about humans? Akamaru: arf? –come on, now, really?Kiba: Ok…fair enough… -doggie door appearsAkamaru: yap!! –see you!!- -leavesZakura: Tsunade, you get a couple from Hilarious Tragedy. Tsunade: What? I’m leaving already? Zakura: Yeah, funny how fast it goes, eh? Tsunade: holy crap… TSUNADE: why a purple diamond on your forehead? whats with the purple? orochimaru has purple bows, you have a purple diamond. what? does jiraiya have purple socks or underwear or something? who would be your ideal soulmate? -HT Tsunade: Er…I don’t really know how that started… Orochimaru: Jiraiya has purple toenails! It’s kind of icky… Jiraiya: I do NOT!!! Tsunade: I know we used to make fun of Oro for his purple obsession… Orochimaru: teehee. Tsunade: I don’t know if you can have an ideal ‘soulmate’ cuz I don’t think it’s something you pick. –sideglance at Jiraiya who is surprisingly looking back with a smile, so she continues, while blushing- But in a man I definitely looks for someone who brings the woman out of me. Someone who wont stand to be bossed around. And I actually think I might not be able to.

Jiraiya: haha, so no one? Tsunade: Pretty much… Orochimaru: -GLOMPTsunade: WTF?! Orochimaru: I’ll miss you!! This was so much fun!! Tsunade: I’m gonna have to get used to serious you again… Orochimaru: You all will. Jiraiya: -hugs too- See you soon, right Tsu? Tsunade: Yeah…this has really been fun. Jiraiya: It has. –kisses cheekTsunade: -punches- see you later. -her door appears and she leavesZakura: ok fishman! Anyway, you all know who you are, I’m gonna snuggle Hinata some more…-cuddlesHinata: hee. –blushKISAME: Kisame, poor under looked Kisame, how will you get revenge for being so ignored? -Kohaku Kawa Kisame: Eh, I don’t really mind. Sharks do that. You never know where we are, and then the scary music kicks in a BAM we’re on your ass like nothing else!! Sasori: or in… Kisame: that too. Anyway, Sasori and Manda were ignored more! Sasori: thank god. Manda: I napped most of the time.

Kisame: fine, whatever. Itachi, see you when you get back. –winkItachi: ehehe…yeah… -Kisame’s door appearsKisame: -kisses Itachi violently and leavesKYUUBI: KJ: ...sorry.. Anywaffle, I have a question for Kyuubi: What's it like to be small and adorable? x) *pets* -Schism Kyuubi: I. Will. Kill. EVERY. Fangirl. Ever. I hate you all. Naruto: Aww but they wuuuuuv you!! Kyuubi: Fuck you. -Massive swirly demonic portal appearsKyuubi: I ain’t leaving. Naruto: Whu? Zakura: Excuse me? Kyuubi: I am still all powerful here! AND I have the pants! I will not be told when I can or can’t leave! Fuck you guys! Zakura: Fine, but at least answer the question. Kyuubi: I hate it. It’s fluffy. Fuck you. Itachi: Careful they’ll take you up on it. Kiba: If Neji was still normal you’d really be screwed…or screwing… Neji: Oh come ON. Even once I change! Kiba: damn right. SASORI: Sasori: I dare you to make the greatest, ultimate puppet, of such power and feroicity, not even stitch, that can defeat Kyuubi, could defeat it. -Emperor Jaden

Sasori: heh, deal. –steals Kabuto’s corpse pileKabuto: HEY!! I—er…was gonna…bury those? Sakura: It’s really ok. I’m aware of how weird you are. Kabuto: oh cool…HEY! YOU CAN’T LEAVE! THOSE ARE MINE!! \\ Sasori: Yes I can. -Sasori door appearsSasori: I’ll find you later Kyuubi. Kyuubi: Ha, right, good luck. Sasori: I don’t need it. –leavesKyuubi: isn’t he dead? Deidara: He’ll manage, yeah. MANDA: Manda what is the tastiest thing you ever eated? -Kohaku Kawa Manda: Nothing. For there is nothing I have ‘eated’ only things I have eaten. You fail tremendously. Orochimaru: Come onnn, Manda! Manda: Eugh, fine. I ate a blue dragon once. It went down quite smoothly. It was tasty. Now if you’ll excuse me— Kiba: RETURN TO THE FORM YOU WERE MEANT TO HAVE!!!! –re-seals Manda into a cardOrochimaru: that’d my SUMMON you little brat! Kiba: It’s my kard now, beotch!! Shino: -facepalmsDEIDARA: Dei-chan, what is your favorite school subject?

-Kohaku Kawa Itachi: Did you even go to school? Deidara: Oh yes. For several years, yeah. Orochimaru: Soo? Deidara: I hated it all equally, yeah. I blew it up, yeah. Itachi: That’s my man. –hugsDeidara: -bites Itachi’s ass with his handItachi: Yow! Deidara: Just had to say goodbye properly, yeah. -deidara’s door appearsDeidara: I dunno if I’m dead or not, yeah, but I hope to see you all soon, yeah! –leavesHINATA: Hinata: Since it's the final chapter, why don't you go on ahead and give Zakura a smooch? PLEASE? -The former Prince of DDR Zakura: noooooo… Sakura: Hey, they’re your rules. Play by them. Hinata: -kisses Zakura very nicely on the mouthZakura: hrgm… Hinata: Uh, bye…it was really nice to meet you… -Hinata’s door appearsZakura: grg…yeah… Hinata: -blushes and leavesKANKURO:

Kankuro: a cupcake is essential a perversion of a muffin. What effects do cupcakes have on you? (gives cupcake to test) -avatarjk137 Kankuro: They knock me right the fuck out. They’re disgusting. Little sick fucked up versions of muffins…. Gaara: -shoves cupcake into his mouthKankuro: -goes unconcisous-Kankuro’s door appearsGaara: -throws Kankuro through it- yes! He’s gone! Lee: you’re a mean brother. Gaara: My brother is KANKURO. What do you expect? Lee: …this is a good point. LEE: Lee:...Why do you say youthfull alot? And have you ever called gaara a panda? -Inner Sakura Haruno Gaara: NOO!!!! Lee: Because! Youth is my life! And I must declare it for all to hear!! Gaara: -clings onto LeeLee: And no, I never have. Although he is very cuddly much like one. Gaara: -grr- mine. -Lee’s door appearsLee: Gaara, I must go! Gaara: no! What if we’re not together anymore? I don’t want to loose you Lee! Lee: Gaara…I loved you even before I came here. I may have to re-learn that but…I AM yours. I promise. In the name of youth, I swear it. Gaara: -kisses- All right.

Lee: Now! I go to make a dojo!! YOOOOOOSH!!!!!! –leavesKIMIMARO Kimimaro: in the anime it seems that all others in your clan looked very simular. Was one of your parents from outside the clan or did they specifically engineer you? Since you are going back to the after life, you will probably be taking all your memories with you... if you could erase one memory of this room from someone else -- who would it be and what memory? -Kazster Kimimaro: Ah well…what I think it was, was a backup of recessive genes, and then for some reason they popped out when I was born. Orochimaru: also, the artists were lazy. I mean, he was a one-story-arc character. Kimimaro: Thanks, rub it in. Anyway, I don’t believe in getting rid of memories. Even the most painful ones are important…although shirtless Jiraiya is something I would rather not recall. Kabuto: Kimi…before you go…I’m sorry. Really I am. I never— Kimimaro: -puts a finger on Kabuto’s mouth- Shh, don’t worry. I know. I think you’d just mess it up if you tried to put it into words. Kabuto: Heh, you’re probably right. Kimimaro: Thank you. For getting me back and everything…this has been awesome. Zakura: Don’t forget you have a potion to drink. Kimimaro: I do? Oh yeah…my emerald green one…ha, what’ve I got to loose? –drinksOwowowowoww….WTF?! Zakura: well, you did just re-grow a body. Kimimaro: …what? Zakura: Yeah, you get to survive. The potion was a limitless resurrection potion. Kimimaro: So… Zakura: You can’t interact with any of the characters until the big story is over, but you get to go have a happy life. Do whatever you want. Once the show ends you can even go see them all. Kimimaro: …oh my god…-tears up- I can…I can have my own life.

Gaara: -hugs- I’m so happy for you Kimi. Kimimaro: -hugs backGaara: Come see me when it’s all over? Kimimaro: For sure. Kabuto: Good luck Kimi. Kimimaro: -nods-Kimi’s door appearsKimimaro: -leavesZakura: Well, that was touching moving on. NEJI: Neji: *Tosses in the person you love the most, if they're not already there, and in a relationship, and if so, throws in the person not in a relationship that he loves the most* I dare you to kiss this person, and tell them you love them. Best of luck. -Emperor Jaden -clone of Neji is tossed inNeji: Well…this is awkward. Kiba: You’re one self-centered prick. Neji: OH shush you. Neji Clone: Damn I’m sexy!! Neji: I don’t even really ‘love’ me, it’s just…everyone’s in a relationship…can I just go? Zakura: sure. -Neji’s door appearsNeji: -dragging his clone- come on… Kiba: Hey, Neji? Neji: What?

Kiba: -puts hand on shoulder- Good luck man. I’m proud of you. Neji: Thanks…see you around. –leavesShino: That was mature of you. Kiba: Yeah, I taped a ‘kick me’ sign to his back. Haha! Naruto: NICE!! –High fivesNARUTO: Naruto: Who do you consider your greatest competition for the position of Hokage and why? And if you could easily have them removed, would you keep those whisker marks? They do make you look distinctive. -avatarjk137 Naruto: hmmm…maybe Lee! He has all the drive, and he’s all about protecting people, not getting the power, you know? It’s pretty cool. Kabuto: Wow, Sakura, two of the men who used to like you up for Hokage, looks like you missed your big chance. Sakura: Ahahahaha, riiiight. I’m so sad I didn’t go out with them when I the chance. Nah, I prefer my men creepy and rebellious. –kissNaruto: So, if I’m leaving does Kyuubi have to come with? Kyuubi: FUCK no!! I’m staying as long as I damn well please. Naruto: YIPPEE!! Kyuubi: Yeah, go ahead, enjoy yourself, I’ll be kicking back and relaxing however I damn well please. -Naruto’s door appearsNaruto: Whatever! Bye Sakura! Bye everyone!! Oh! Real quick! –runs up, kisses Haku’s cheek and then dives through the door dodging Zabuza’s swingSHIKAMARU: Shikamaru, If you say my name I cease to exist. What am I? -Kohaku Kawa Shikamaru: Hopefully you…

Itachi: Yeaaah…if ONLY that applied to fangirls… Shikamaru: -sits and thinks-stiiiiiill thinkingKiba: So, can we move on or--? Zakura: nope, gotta go in order. Shikamaru: Guys, quiet. I need silence… -Shikamaru’s door appearsShikamaru: No! I haven’t figure it out y—oh. I see. Kiba: I don’t. Shikamaru: The answer. It’s silence. –nods- I actually approve of that riddle. –leavesKiba: what? No good bye or nothing? Shino: It’s SHIKAMARU. Kiba; …yeah. ZABUZA: Zabuza - What would you do without Haku? Is there anyone else you've ever shown a liking for? Apart from your sword... -HeYan Zabuza: I ain’t leaving without Haku. Zakura: Fine! You can leave at the same time. Zabuza: Good. Yes, before I met Haku I had a few lovers but NONE ever meant as much to me as he does. Without Haku…I’d probably die of heart-sickness… Haku: Oh darling… HAKU: Haku, how do you think your married life will be once you return to the Afterlife? -Kryah

Haku: Well, I’m sure it’d be fun but…Kohaku Kawa gave us a mountain retreat! That’s where we’re headed! Zabuza: I forgot about that…I was kind of looking forward to the rest. Haku: It’s a mountain retreat! You can relax all you want! We should invite Kimi!! Zabuza: …oh god… Zakura: Same rules, you guys are hermits until the show’s over. Haku: Awww…all right. Good bye everyone! I had so much fun!! Zabuza: whatever… -They both leaveKURENAI Kurenai: You like are pretty much the only normal person here, you're also really nice to your little students; but I wanna ask...WHY ASUMA?! WHY NOT KAKASHI?! WHY?! -Dolly2000 Kurenai: Kakashi is a perv. And the real answer is—Khellen Rafe. Kiba: Huh? Kurenai: I pick that man over ANYbody. Kiba: even Gai? Kurenai: Oh HELL yeah. Kiba: There’s a silver lining… Kurenai: In fact, I’ve gotta go take him up on his offer… -her door appearsKurenai: You guys only have a little bit left, behave all right? Everyone: yes ma’am. Kurenai: good. Oh, and for traditions sake. –smacks Jiraiya with a skillet and leavesJiraiya: Owww…

JIRAIYA: Jiraiya, describe your perfect date. -Kohaku Kawa Jiraiya: anything not involving a skillet? Zakura: that it? Jiraiya: Hey, the shorter the date, the sooner the sex. So, sake and hot springs it is. Orochimaru: Aww, I guess this mean our fun is over…it was nice, ne? Jiraiya: Yeah…I’ll miss you Oro. I always have. Orochimaru: I’m sure we’ll meet again somewhere. In another fic… Jiraiya: -chuckles- yeah… -his door appearsOrochimaru: You should get with Tsunade, she really likes you. Jiraiya: It’s complicated…we’ll see. Bye Oro. I wish it could’ve lasted. –kissesOrochimaru: -kisses backJiraiya: -quickly leavesGAARA: being the kage of Suna is hard work. Who, if anyone, do you trust to help? Which one person would you come back from the grave to stop them being the Kazikage? -Kazster Gaara: My siblings. …and the other answer is also my siblings. I enjoy their , and really need it, and Temari is good with paperwork and Kankuro is good with defense plans, but dear god if either one got full control of the reins…-shudders- the horrors. Orochimaru: NOOOO!! Our little sand-kage is leaving? How will we make do without you?! Gaara: I’m sure you’ll manage…anyway… -his door appearsGaara: -sighs- I have had fun. Orochimaru: We’ll miss you.

Itachi: I’ll think of you everytime I drink a frap! –hugsGaara: yeah...ok…well, I should probably go! Bye now! –leavesSakura: He was in a weird sort of hurry… Kabuto: Er, why is his gourd left here? Itachi: and where did the frap machine—oh god… -meanwhile in SunaGaara: And Suna shall be ruled by he who holds the fraps!!! MUWAHAHAHA!! … hey! Temari! WTF did you to my office? Temari: …decorated? Gaara: With empty sake bottles and pizza boxes?! Temari: …yes? Gaara: -sighSHINO Shino: Can I PLEASE come?!?! I promise I won't be fan-like! And doesn't it feel weird to have bugs inside you? -MoonIdiot Shino: God, for the last time, NO. No fans at or wedding. -Shino’s door appearsShino: Kiba, I’ll be waiting for you at home. Bye honey. –kisses- Anyone else I’ll either see shortly or don’t care to see again. –leavesOrochimaru: bitch. Kyuubi: Just wait kid…juuust wait. KIBA: Kiba: Can I come to your wedding, if I promise not to take pictures or be fan-like? And good luck with Shino! -MoonIdiot Kiba: Yeah, sure. I don’t see why not.

Sakura: Uhhh…didn’t Shino…? Kiba: Aww, he’ll warm up to the idea. Kabuto: Yeah, sure. Well, have fun trying not to let your marriage fall apart. Kiba: Are you kidding? I will ROCK the married world!! WHOO!! Sakura: Suuure…ok. Zakura: Ok, get out of here. Kiba: Yep! See ya! -Kiba’s door appears and he bounds on throughOrochimaru, Kabuto, Itachi and Sakura all stand together quietly. Sakura: this is really the original gang huh? Orochimaru: The core of the story… Itachi: -sniffleKyuubi: -GAG- I‘ll be hanging with Lucy if you all need me. –goes to the poll roomOrochimaru: this is probably the last plain-old good time I’m ever gonna have… Itachi: this is the first ‘good time’ I’ve had in years… Kabuto: -holds Sakura’s hand tightlySakura: You guys have really pulled this story through… Kabuto: the four of us have. -there is a moment where more should be said, and then they all gather into one more group hugSakura: I’ll ever forget this. Orochimaru; We probably will, but I love it anyway. Itachi: yeah…

Kabuto: Itachi? Itachi: yes? Kabuto: I always thought your incest jokes were funny… Itachi: Oh Kabuto!! I never thought being a nerd was such a bad thing! Orochimaru: I love you guys!!! -more huggingSakura: Is anyone else feeling a little nauseas? Itachi: Yeah… -they all back upOrochimaru: -ahem- well…anyway… Itachi: Yeah, anyway… Sakura: Last questions right? Zakura: why don’t the three guys go at once? Guys: Cool. ITACHI Itachi-san: My friends always make fun of me for adoring you so much... If I become your brother, could we have awesome incest times?! -gives another frap-Snow Gaara OROCHIMARU: Orochimaru if you were doing everything over would you change anything? -firefli KABUTO: Kabuto, if you had one rule-breaking, all-powerful wish, what would it be? -Kryah Itachi: Best. Reviewer. Ever. Kid, if you find a way to become Uchiha I PROMISE you all the incest your little heart could ever want!! Kabuto: You know, that does actually make me a little sick…

Itachi: The best humor always does!! Orochimaru: How come the sannin all get deep questions? Kabuto: A perfect date is a deep question? Orochimaru: shush you. Ok…yes. When I was younger, I would have told Jiraiya how I felt. Because then when I left…I think I could have given him more closure. Somehow. Itachi: You don’t make sense! Orochimaru: The harder the heart break, the less you want to re-visit it…I wish he’d have moved on better. Itachi: -pat, patOrochimaru: Annnnyway. Kabuto? Kabuto: …that I had been with Sakura longer. And that we would stay together after this, Sakura: -hugs him long and hard- me too… Oro/Ita: -go to the corner politelyKabuto: Sakura…I love you. I won’t ever…I mean…somewhere inside me I always will love you. Sakura: I know, me too…I love you too…always. -they hug some moreSakura: -sniffle- I love you. Kabuto: I know. I’ll think of you every spring…when the cherry blossoms are in full bloom. Sakura: I’ll think of you every time I’m at a morgue!! -Hug-the guys’ doors appearKabuto: I think that’s my cue… Itachi: Sakura! Thanks! It’s been fun! I would say I’m sorry for making for of you…

Orochimaru: But we’re not. Sakura: See ya later you ass holes. Itachi: Orochimaru, maybe we shall meet again and shag once more? Orochimaru: I hope so. -pervert hugging!!Itachi: -grabs some frapsOrochimaru: -grabs some nail polishIta/Oro: -leaveKabuto: … Sakura; nothing more to say is there? Kabuto: I wish there was something to hold back time… Sakura: Now you’re getting sappy. Shoo. Get out of here. Kabuto: …I love you. Sakura: I know. I love you too. Kabuto: -turns to goSakura: -turns awayKabuto: -pauses, runs back, scoops her up in his arms, kissing her desperatelySakura: -bites back tear- Go… Kabuto: -nods, kisses her once more time, and leavesSakura: -lets the tears fallZakura: Hey kiddo. You ready? Sakura: Yeah…yeah I’m ready. SAKURA: And finally Sakura, is there anything besides Kabuto that makes this

Whole experience ‘worth it’? Lucifel: that’s Kohaku Kawa, rounding everything up nicely. Our first reviewer, giving our last. Sakura: …yes. I’m a stronger person now. When Ino got here…I really saw what I was at the beginning, and I almost let myself go back to being that. But now, I’m a much better person. Zakura: Which is why you don’t need me anymore. Sakura: …what? Zakura: Come on. –tilts her head towards the main door which is now hanging openSakura followed Zakura out the door and down the steps, and finally outside, where it was still the wee hours of the day, and a shiny black Ferrari was waiting. Zakura: When dawn breaks, none of this will matter anymore. You’ll forget what happened…but not what you learned. Sakura: Zakura… Zakura: this was your coming of age, kiddo. And about time too. My work in your life is done. Sakura: Wait…you’re not gonna be with me anymore? I can’t live without you! You’re a part of me! Zakura: Oh girl, every time you bite your tongue. I’ll be there to force the words out your mouth. Every time you bite some fucker’s head off for treating you wrong, that’s me backing you up. Just that. Sakura: I will…thank you Zakura. For everything…besides being a bitch. Zakura: ha! That’s my girl. –Hops into the car- Go home, get some sleep. You’re gonna have to get up a face the whole new plot-line in the morning. And Sai’s a little bitch. Sakura: O…k? Zakura: See ya later, kid. –Starts the engineSakura: -leans in and hugs her tightlyZakura: -is surprised, smiles, and hugs back- and keep an eye on Hinata for me, eh? Sakura: Yeah, I will. –Pulls back- bye.

Zakura: later. –puts on some snazzy shades- I have a spa day to get to. And Zakura zoomed down the road towards the east. Sakura stood watching, and just as the sun began to rise, the car and Zakura disappeared over the horizon. Ed: Hellooooo? Godammit, not again. Kyuubi: Ha, you’re mine now, bitch.

Ask Sakura 0 Lucifel: Hello to all of you. And…Good bye. This has been a truly, truly wonderful experience for me. And I hope it’s the same for all of you I— Ed: WHY AM I STILL HERE?!! I WANNA GO HOMA NOOOOW!!! Kyuubi: Bet back here you little runt!

Lucifel: -ahem- I wish I could thank each and everyone of you personally, with a big hug and an award of some kind. But unfortunately, all I can do is offer a massive cyber group hug to you all. I would like to put a few special thanks though: Kyuubi: no one caaaares. Ed: Get off me you damn, dirty fox!! Kyuubi: that would be…no. Lucifel: This is my thanks for outstanding loyalty, those who stayed with it from the moment they came on board, ing me all the way. These are the people that made ME laugh, and whom I looked forward to hearing from as the weeks continued. These are some of my favorite people EVER. Without you guys, Ask Sakura just would never have been the same: Kryah, my first and best FF friend ever. Emperor Jaden, my husband and partner in crime. Ceyx0991, my son whom I am SO proud to work with and inspire. Hilarious Tragedy, for starting the whole crazed, split fan thing and really bringing out the interactivity of AS. Avatarjk137 who’s ideas influenced more of Ask Sakura than any other fan. Kohaku Kawa, my real-life sister, who filled in the blanks whenever I asked, could give me first-hand advice, and started and ended this whole crazy thing. Also those of you who stuck with me even when I may not have given you full attention. And those of you who were there in the beginning, to really kick me forward, and though not always there, showed you were still one of my best fans. And those of you who may not have been around as long, but showed your and gained my love nonetheless. More than one of these people have a whole page in my reviews all to themselves. Kazster, MoonIdiot, Whatthehellwasithinkin, I have an alter Ego, Khellan Rafe, Truth’s Rose (formerly Kabuto’s Rose), Lyon Ryuushi, A.H.S., He-Yan, SnowGaara, EliteAssassin, Darkens4841, nightDREAMERms, Mini Death, Danie-chan, Taki-kun, The Muffinator3, TheUltimateNinjaDemonGirl, and The Self pro— Kyuubi: Hey! You better not thank that bitch who put fen-me in a story!! Ed; You Are a girl! You pussy! You BITCH!! Kyuubi: -puts him in a choke hold- WHAT’D YOU SAY?! Ed: …HRGK!?!

Lucifel: --claimed Prince of DDR. And, as always, MASSIVE thanks and tribute to TORN YORICK who inspired this whole crazy thing. I know that’s not everyone. There were a lot of people in the beginning I and love. I probably missed a lot of people, but just know that each and every one has been a cherished part of one of the best experiences of my life. And if so much as ONE of you had never shown up, this story would not be what it is today, because that’s the beauty of this thing, you guys really shaped it. You all gave your reviews, and your jokes, and had your fun with the story, seeing how you yourselves could shape and mold it. And you did a damn fine job. You know that ‘ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer?’ routine? It’s true. If it wasn’t for your amazingly awesome and funny reviews, the in-between wouldn’t have been nearly as great. Ed: EAT TRANSMUTATION!! Kyuubi: You idiot! I have THE PANTS!! I AM INVINCIBLE NOW!!! Lucifel: …And when I asked for patience, or requested something special of you guys, you really delivered. I could go on and on gushing over you guys, but you wouldn’t want to read all of that. You guys are the biggest bunch of ADHD crazy kids I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet so— Kyuubi: So why don’t you GET ON WITH IT?! Lucifel: …ass… Ed: PANTSED!! Kyuubi: WTF?! Ed: So much for your super power now. Kyuubi: I am naked now you realize. Ed: …eep… Lucifel: anywhizzle, I also wanted to give you a quick idea of what my future plans are. I have in the works right now a fic about Kyuubi and Yondaime which is a sort of prequel to Summer Wind, but you needn’t read one to understand the other. Kyuubi: HELL YEAH! I AM ALL UP ON THAT HOKAGE!!! Ed: RUN AWAY!!

Kyuubi: -tripsLucifel: I’m also planning to write a Card Captors fic about Yue being turned human. I have several Naruto oneshots scribbled in a notebook. I want to type those up soon, this includes a Haku/Zabu fluff/lime, a Gaa/Naru romance, and possibly a small sequel to “Wait For Me” which Kiba/Kure but this sequel would have a hint of Shino/Kiba. I WILL be writing a Saku/Kabu oneshot, which will possibly allude to this fic ever so lightly, so you’d all get a little insight to it, hopefully this will happen soon. And besides that who knows!! I’m considering taking challenges or requests, but that’s not open just yet, I’ll put it up on my profile if I ever decide to. You guys would get precedence if you had a request to make. Eventually I want to be a published author. So, if ever you see the works of K. M. Washatka on a bookshelf, that’s me. And you knew me first. –winkPlease do put me on Author Alert. Not just to get myself reviews, but because I really want to continue hearing from you all. If not, feel free to drop me a PM anytime. Also, The Self-Proclaimed Prince of DDR has a nice Ask Fic of his own, “Yep, it’s another ask the naru-crew fic” You might also wanna check out Hagane-Sama’s “The Akatsuki Auditions” which isn’t interactive, but it is funny. I don’t really know that many others…they’re definitely out there though. But, if you just wanna read good fanfiction QuillSlinger is AMAZING and kryah and ceyx0991 are upand-coming and could use bundles of ! Please read their stuff! It’s good! It gets the Lucifel stamp of approval! Kyuubi: ha! I got them back! What now!? Ed: …grr… Kyuubi: What you want me to take them off again? Ed: ACK!! No! Kyuubi: then, say you’ll be my slave. Ed: …do I have to mean it? Kyuubi: yes! Ed: NEVAR!!! –dives under my deskLucifel: Oh, knock it off you two! Kyuubi: you’re not the boss of me!

Ed: you’re not my REAL mom!! Lucifel: –sighs - Ok, so, here’s a small summary of what everyone went and did after this: (any one of these may be made into a oneshot someday, let me know if you’re really interested in any in particular) They all woke up the next morning, and though they did have memories of what had happened; assumed it a dream. The only person not weirded out by it enough to keep silent was Deidara who ran to Tobi and had a party telling him about the whole thing. Sasuke immediately called Shikamaru and confessed to everything he had been doing, and Shikamaru (having seen it all in his ‘dream’) reacted much in the same way. Sasuke went and did whatever it is he does in the story, and then started repenting. Eventually, after a long, long time Shikamaru officially forgave him and they were friends again. Sakura and Naruto did the same. Shikamaru also ended up, after a long few years of healing, in a loving and wonderful relationship with Choji. This lasted for a long time. They may have even gotten married, I dunno. Ino was totally ive, and also became a better person after a while and getting a little uglier. Neji did a good job keeping to his vow of no longer being a whore. He actually ended up happily married to Tenten, although he’s still not always completely sure about who she is. Lee ‘woke up’ and immediately went on a youthful journey to visit Gaara and proclaim his love…in front of the whole council of Suna…in the middle of a very important meeting. Things were worked out and they lived together happily. Oh, and Lee also made a huge dojo where students from all sorts strange and weird places came to learn. Gaara was just happy to be with Lee. And the fraps which were somehow transported to Suna with a return address and Gaara immediately began drinking like a fish. He had his best people work on replicating his frap mixes so he never ran out. He also put a ban on muffins. Haku and Zabuza did what they do best—lived cuddly ever after. They settled down in their mountain retreat and lived a quiet life. Kimimaro actually came by and stayed with them over winter. After All was settled in the land of the main plot Haku went and visited Naruto, nearly killing him from shock. Kimi went and did the same thing to Gaara because, thought he couldn’t explain, he had a strong desire to be friends with the Kazekage of Suna. Kiba and Shino lived however it is they do in the main story, and later settled down together after having a large wedding full of guests nobody recognized (which cause some mild drama and hard feelings).

Then Kiba found a strange pile of things, a book full of cards signed by him and a large crate of strange red and white balls. Kiba then became the only person to regain full memory of what happened and, with a whining Shino in tow, went off to become the greatest pokemon master ever. He succeeded. Kyuubi went back to Naruto and lived Summer Wind. Go read it. (yay shameless plugging) Naruto also lived Summer Wind. Yay! Hinata eventually ended up marrying some guy. I don’t know who. He was a nice guy though and treated her right. She never did understand why she had an explainable crush on Sakura for a while. Kurenai ended up getting together with Gai after all, although for some reason she first went off and would not come back until she had found a sailor to have a flaming affair with. The people the stayed dead, stayed dead. Living in their respective afterlives happily. Anyone I have not mentioned you can assume lived perfectly normal main-plot lives. Zakura went to her spa day, enjoyed herself, and then went on a massive road trip and did whatever she damn wel pleased for the rest of her life. And Sakura…Sakura lived her main plot life, but always had something tugging at the back of her heart. Whenever she saw Kabuto it lurched painfully and brought back fuzzy dreams and memories. She felt strange desires to be close to him, thought she knew it to be ridiculous and pitied him more than how she hated all the others who had hurt her friends. Kabuto became strangely obsessed with her as well. Sneaking off to spy on her, watching her whenever he possibly could, being driven mad by the strangeness of his feelings towards her. Like there was something about her he knew, but had forgotten. They knew, after a time, that they had fallen in love. And both thought themselves idiotic and ridiculous for feeling such. But they did. And both thought they were alone and estranged in their feelings. Until the last time they met. I don’t know when this is in the plot, but I do know they shared a moment somewhere in there or shortly before or after, where they met and exchanged no words, but knew their feelings were returned, and took great comfort, relief and joy from that. Ed: -sniffle- that’s…beautiful… Kyuubi: What the fuck is summer wind? Lucifel: why don’t you go back and find out?

Kyuubi: Naw, I’m having a blast here. I OWN MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHEHEHBWUHUHUHUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

this

world!

Ed: Not if I own you first!!! –tackles and they crash through the windowLucifel: Well …I guess that’s it. I feel like I should have so much to say…it’s the end of Ask Sakura for goodness sake! But…nothing deep or profound is coming to me, and no words could ever convey what this has been for me. It became such a routine part of life, not doing it will be incredibly strange. I loved it. Just bout every second of it. And I love all of you, please, don’t be strangers! Stick around! I’d love to continue hearing from you! I’ll check out your guys’ fics too if you’ve got ‘em. Thank you so much for this opportunity. And if anyone’s interested, the official page count on Microsoft Word with Times New Roman font size 12 is 1186, word count; 260, 008. The max amount of permanent characters I ever had was 30. This thing is EPIC. And I got One thousand or more reviews. You guys rock. I can only say it so many times. I can not believe it’s ending. But this ending is necessarily. This isn’t the kind of thing that I want to putter out. It deserve as firm an ending I can give it. So here it is. I guess the only thing I can say is this; Never be afraid of weirdness Take any opportunity to laugh Don’t ever conform Random moments are the best ones, embrace and create them whenever possible. Listen to your inner selves Thank you all again, I love you guys, and …it’s just incest. -And with a bow from your host, the curtain closes, the lights turn down, and Ask Sakura is over.-