Paragraph Writing Theory 115m1u

The Structure of a Paragraph A well-developed paragraph contains   

Indentation a well-focused topic sentence unified, specifi c ing details (defi nitions, examples, explanations, or other

evidence) 

transitions and repetition that show how the ideas are related

Topic sentence

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A topic sentence may suggest the order in which details are discussed in the paragraph,

thereby helping readers know what to expect.

READ THE FOLLOWING SENTENCES. CIRCLE THE TOPIC AND UNDERLINE THE CONTROLLING IDEA.

READ THE FOLLOWING TOPIC SENTENCES AND IMPROVE THEM: 1. Families are important. 2. Families in Argentina are great. 3. All around the world, families are strict.

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ing sentences

• Explain the topic sentence • the topic sentence with evidence, such as examples, facts, statistics, personal experience, and definitions

For a paragraph to develop a single idea, it needs to have unity. A unified paragraph stays focused on one idea, without switching or wandering from topic to topic. A

paragraph also should be of a reasonable length, neither too short nor too long. Short paragraphs look skimpy and are often underdeveloped; long paragraphs are difficult for your reader to follow. -

Effective Paragraphs Have Unity

In a unifi ed paragraph, all of the sentences directly the topic sentence. Including details that are not relevant to the topic sentence makes your paragraph unclear and distracts your reader from the point you are making. To identify irrelevant details, evaluate each sentence by asking the following questions. 1. Does this sentence directly explain the topic sentence? What new information does it add? 2. Would any essential information be lost if this sentence were deleted? (If not, delete it.) 3. Is this information distracting or unimportant? (If so, delete it.)

PARAGRAPH LACKING UNITY (1) Much of the violence we see in the world today may be caused by the emphasis on violence in the media. (2) More often than not, the front page of the local newspaper contains stories involving violence. (3) In fact, one recent issue of my local newspaper contained seven references to violent acts. (4) There is also violence in public school systems. (5) Television reporters frequently hasten to crime and accident scenes and fi lm

every grim, violent detail. (6) The other day, there was a drive-by shooting downtown. (7) If the media were a little more careful about the ways in which they glamorize violence, there might be less violence in the world today and children would be less influenced by it. Although sentences 4 and 6 deal with the broad topic of violence, neither is directly related to the idea of the media promoting violence — the main point stated in the topic sentence. Both should be deleted. Exercise 7.3 Working alone or in a group of two or three students, read the following paragraph and identify the sentences that do not the topic sentence. The topic sentence is underlined. 1. (a) Today many options and services for the elderly are available that did not exist years ago. (b) My grandmother is eighty-five years old now. (c) Adult care for the elderly is now provided in many parts of the country. (d) Similar to day care, adult care provides places where the elderly can go for meals and social activities. (e) Retirement homes for the elderly, where they can live fairly independently with minimal supervision, are another option. (f) My grandfather is also among the elderly at eighty-two. (g) Even many nursing homes have changed so that residents are afforded some level of privacy and independence while their needs are being met.

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Effective Paragraphs Are Well Developed

A unifi ed paragraph provides adequate and convincing evidence to explain the topic

sentence. Include enough ing details to demonstrate that your topic sentence is accurate and believable. Evidence can include explanations, examples, or other kinds of information that help the reader understand and believe the assertion in the topic sentence. The following example shows an underdeveloped paragraph that is revised into a well-developed paragraph. UNDERDEVELOPED PARAGRAPH Email and instant messaging (IM) are important technological advances, but they have hidden limitations, even dangers. It is too easy to avoid talking to people face to face. Using email can be addictive, too. Plus, they encourage ordinary people to ignore others while typing on a keyboard. DEVELOPED PARAGRAPH Email and instant messaging (IM) are important technological advances, but they have hidden limitations, even dangers. While email and instant messaging allow fast and effi cient communication and exchange of information, they provide a different quality of human interaction. It is too easy to avoid talking to people. It is easier to click on one’s “Buddy List” and check to see if she wants to meet for dinner than it would be to look up her number and actually talk to her. Online you can post a “be right back” message, avoiding an intrusion into your life. In fact, using these services can

become addictive. For example, some students on campus are obsessed with checking their email several times throughout the day. They spend their free time talking to email acquaintances across the country, while ignoring interesting people right in the same room. Because computer interaction is not face to face, email and instant messenger addicts are shortchanging themselves of real human . There is something to be said for responding not only to a person’s words but to their expressions, gestures, and tone of voice. These two versions of the paragraph differ in the degree to which the ideas are developed. The fi rst paragraph has skeletal ideas that the topic sentence, but those ideas are not explained. For example, the fi rst paragraph does not explain why email and instant messaging are important or provide any evidence of how or why email can be addictive. Notice that the second paragraph explains how email and instant messaging allow for fast and effi cient communication and gives further information about the addictive qualities of email. The second paragraph also explains the qualities of face-to-face interaction that are absent from online communication. To discover if your paragraphs are well developed, begin by considering your audience. Have you given them enough information to make your ideas understandable and believable? Try reading your paragraph aloud, or ask a friend to do so. Listen for

places where you jump quickly from one idea to another without explaining the fi rst idea. To fi nd ing evidence for a topic sentence, use a prewriting strategy from Chapter 4. Also, the same types of evidence shown in the table on page 105 to a thesis can be used to develop a paragraph. You may need to do some research to fi nd this evidence.

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Concluding or Transitional Sentence

• Draws the paragraph to a close. Paraphrases the topic sentence.

MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 146 1/5/09 3:4Exercise 7.4 Use Table 5.1 (p. 105) to suggest the type or types of evidence that might be used to develop a paragraph based on each of the following topic sentences. 1. Many people have fallen prey to fad diets, risking their health and jeopardizing their mental well-being. 2. One can distinguish experienced soccer players from rookies by obvious signs. 3. To begin a jogging routine, take a relaxed but deliberate approach.

4. The interlibrary loan system is a fast and convenient method for obtaining print materials from libraries affi liated with the campus library. 5. Southwest Florida’s rapid population growth poses a serious threat to its freshwater supply. Exercise 7.5 Create a well-developed paragraph by adding details to the following paragraph. Although it is convenient, online shopping is a different experience than shopping in an actual store. You don’t get the same opportunity to see and feel objects. Also, you can miss out on other important information. There is much that you miss. If you enjoy shopping, turn off your computer and your local merchants. Effective Paragraphs Provide Specifi c ing Details The evidence you provide to your topic sentences should be concrete and specifi c. Specifi c details interest your readers and make your meaning clear and forceful. Compare the following two examples. VAGUE Many people are confused about the difference between a psychologist and a psychiatrist. Both have a license, but a psychiatrist has more education than a psychologist. Also, a psychiatrist can prescribe medication. CONCRETE AND SPECIFIC Many people are confused about the difference between psychiatrists and

psychologists. Both are licensed by the state to practice psychotherapy. However, a psychiatrist has earned a degree from medical school and can also practice medicine. Additionally, a psychiatrist can prescribe psychotropic medications. A psychologist, on the other hand, usually has earned a Ph.D. but has not attended medical school and therefore cannot prescribe medication of any type. General statements that do not completely explain the topic sentence Concrete details make clear the distinction between the two | INCLUDING ING DET AILS 147 MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 147 1/5/09 3:4148 CHAPTER 7 | WRI TING EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS To make your paragraphs concrete and specifi c, use the following guidelines. 1. Focus on who, what, when, where, how, and why questions. Ask yourself these questions about your ing details, and use the answers to expand and revise your paragraph. VAGUE Some animals hibernate for part of the year. (What animals? When do they hibernate?) SPECIFIC Some bears hibernate for three to four months each winter. 2. Name names. Include the names of people, places, brands, and objects. VAGUE When my sixty-three-year-old aunt was refused a job, she became an

angry victim of age discrimination. SPECIFIC When my sixty-three-year-old Aunt Angela was refused a job at Vicki’s Nail Salon, she became an angry victim of age discrimination. 3. Use action verbs. Select strong verbs that will help your readers visualize the action. VAGUE When Silina came on stage, the audience became excited. SPECIFIC When Silina burst onto the stage, the audience screamed, cheered, and chanted “Silina, Silina!” 4. Use descriptive language that appeals to the senses (smell, touch, taste, sound, sight). Words that appeal to the senses enable your readers to feel as if they are observing or participating in the experience you are describing. VAGUE It’s relaxing to walk on the beach. SPECIFIC I walked in the sand next to the ocean, breathing in the smell of the salt water and listening to the rhythmic sound of the waves. 5. Use adjectives and adverbs. Including carefully chosen adjectives and adverbs in your description of a person, a place, or an experience can make your writing more concrete. VAGUE As I weeded my garden, I let my eyes wander over the meadow sweets and hydrangeas, all the while listening to the chirping of a cardinal. SPECIFIC As I slowly weeded my perennial garden, I let my eyes wander over the pink meadow sweets and blue hydrangeas, all the while listening absent-mindedly to the chirping of a bright red cardinal. Exercise 7.6 Working alone or in a group of two or three students, revise and expand each sentence in the

following paragraph to make it specifi c and concrete. Feel free to add new information and new sentences. I saw a great concert the other night in Dallas. Two groups were performing. The music was great, and there was a large crowd. In fact, the crowd was so enthusiastic that the second group performed one hour longer than scheduled. MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 148 1/5/09 3:4Details Are Arranged Logically The details in a paragraph should follow a logical order to make them easier to follow. You might arrange the details from most to least (or least to most) important, in chronological order, or in spatial order. Refer to Chapter 6, pages 118–121, for more information on each of these arrangements. Essay in Progress 2 For the draft you worked with in Essay in Progress 1 on page 144, evaluate the ing details you used in each paragraph. Revise to make each paragraph unifi ed, coherent, and logically organized. Make sure you have provided concrete, specifi c details. Using Transitions and Repetition All of the details in a paragraph must fi t together and function as a connected unit of information. When a paragraph has coherence, its ideas fl ow smoothly, allowing readers to follow its progression with ease. Using one of the methods of organization discussed earlier in this chapter can help you show the connections among details and

ideas. Two other useful devices for linking details are transitions between sentences and repetition of key . Coherent Paragraphs Include Transitional Expressions Transitions are words, phrases, or clauses that lead your reader from one idea to another. Think of transitional expressions as guideposts, or signals, of what is coming next in a paragraph. Some commonly used transitions are shown in the box on page 150, grouped according to the type of connections they show. In the two examples that follow, notice that the fi rst paragraph is disted and choppy because it lacks transitions, whereas the revised version is easier to follow. WITHOUT TRANSITIONS Most fi lms are structured much like a short story. The fi lm begins with an opening scene that captures the audience’s attention. The writers build up tension, preparing for the climax of the story. They complicate the situation by revealing other elements of the plot, perhaps by introducing a surprise or additional characters. They introduce a problem. It will be solved either for the betterment or to the detriment of the characters and the situation. A resolution brings the fi lm to a close. WITH TRANSITIONS Most fi lms are structured much like a short story. The fi lm begins with an opening scene that captures the audience’s attention. Gradually, the writers build up tension,

preparing for the climax of the story. Soon after the fi rst scene, they complicate the situation by revealing other elements of the plot, perhaps by introducing a surprise or additional characters. Next, they introduce a problem. Eventually, the problem will be solved either for the betterment or to the detriment of the characters and the situation. Finally, a resolution brings the fi lm to a close. | USING TRANSI TIONS AND REPETI TION 149 MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 149 1/5/09 3:4150 CHAPTER 7 | WRI TING EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPHS Essay in Progress 3 For the draft you worked with in Essay in Progress 2 on page 149, evaluate your use of transitions within each paragraph, adding them where needed to make the relationship among your ideas clearer. Type of Connection Transitions Logical Connections Items in a series then, fi rst, second, next, another, furthermore, fi nally, as well as Illustration for instance, for example, namely, that is Result or cause consequently, therefore, so, hence, thus, then, as a result Restatement in other words, that is, in simpler Summary or conclusion fi nally, in conclusion, to sum up, all in all, evidently, actually Similarity/agreement similarly, likewise, in the same way

Difference/opposition but, however, on the contrary, nevertheless, neither, nor, on the one/other hand, still, yet Spatial Connections Direction inside/outside, along, above/below, up/down, across, to the right/left, in front of/behind Nearness next to, near, nearby, facing, adjacent to Distance beyond, in the distance, away, over there Time Connections Frequency often, frequently, now and then, gradually, week by week, occasionally, daily, rarely Duration during, briefl y, hour by hour Reference to a at two o’clock, on April 27, in 2000, last particular time Thanksgiving, three days ago Beginning before then, at the beginning, at fi rst Middle meanwhile, simultaneously, next, then, at that time End fi nally, at last, eventually, later, at the end, subsequently, afterward COMMONL Y USED TRANSITIONAL EXPRESSIONS MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 150 1/5/09 3:4Exercise 7.7 The following student essay by Robin Ferguson on volunteering in a literacy program was written using the graphic organizer shown in Chapter 6, page 125. Read the essay and answer the questions that follow. The Value of Volunteering Robin Ferguson I began working as a literacy volunteer as part of a community service course I was

taking last semester. The course required a community service project, and I chose literacy volunteers simply as a means of fulfi lling a course requirement. Now I realize that working as a literacy volunteer taught me more about learning and friendship than I ever expected. When I fi rst went through the training program to become a literacy volunteer, I learned about the process of learning -- that is, the way in which people learn new words most effectively. To illustrate this concept, the person who trained me wrote a brief list of simple words on the left side of a chalkboard and wrote phrases using the same words on the right side of the chalkboard. She instructed us to read the words and then asked which words we would be most likely to . We all said the words on the right because they made more sense. In other words, we could the words in the phrases more easily because they made more sense in context. The trainer showed us several more examples of words in context so we could get a grasp of how people learn new information by connecting it to what they already know. The training I received, though excellent, was no substitute for working with a real student, however. When I began to discover what other people’s lives are like because they cannot read, I realized the true importance of reading. For example, when I had my fi rst tutoring session with my client, Marie, a forty-four-year-old single mother of three, I found out she walked two miles to the nearest grocery store twice a week because she didn’t know which bus to take. When I told

her I would get her a bus schedule, she confi ded to me that it would not help because she could not read it and therefore wouldn’t know which bus to take. She also said she had diffi culty once she got to the grocery store because she couldn’t always what she needed. Since she did not know words, she could not write out a grocery list. Also, she identifi ed items by sight, so if the manufacturer changed a label, she could not recognize it as the product she wanted. As we worked together, learning how to read built Marie’s self-confi dence, which gave her an incentive to continue in her studies. She began to make rapid progress and was even able to take the bus to the grocery store. After this successful trip, she reported how self-assured she felt. Eventually, she began helping her youngest son, Mark, a shy fi rst grader, with his reading. She sat with him before he went to sleep, and together they would read bedtime stories. When his eyes became wide with excitement as she read, her pride swelled, and she began | USING TRANSI TIONS AND REPETI TION 151 1 2 3 4 READING MCW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 151 1/5/09 3:4152 CHAPTER 7 | WRi T ing Eff ECTi v E PARAgRAPHs to see how her own hard work in learning to read paid off. As she described this experience,

I swelled with pride as well. I found that helping Marie to build her selfconfidence was more rewarding than anything I had ever done before. As time went by, Marie and I developed a friendship that became permanent. Because we saw each other several times a week, we spent a lot of time getting to know each other, and we discovered we had certain things in common. For instance, I’m also a single parent. So we began to share our similar experiences with each other. In fact, we have even baby-sat for each other’s children. I would drop my children off at her house while I taught an evening adult class, and in return, I watched her children while she worked on Saturday mornings. As a literacy volunteer, I learned a great deal about learning, teaching, and helping others. I also established what I hope will be a lifelong friendship. In fact, I may have benefited more from the experience than Marie did. 1. Highlight each of the topic sentences in the body of the essay (between the introduction and the conclusion). Evaluate how well each s the thesis. 2. What type(s) of evidence does Ferguson use to each topic sentence? 3. What method(s) does Ferguson use to logically arrange her details within paragraphs? 4. Highlight transitions that Ferguson uses to connect her ideas, both within and between paragraphs. students Write Chapters 4–6 show Christine Lee’s progress in planning and drafting an essay on reality television. Below you can see her first draft paragraph (also included in

Chapter 6 as part of her first draft essay, p. 132) and her revision to strengthen the paragraph. Fi r s t Dr aFt Pa r a g r aPh Big Brother started as the first of the reality TV spinoffs but audiences didn’t have the same things to respond to. It has never been a success because they took the basic concept of Survivor and added nothing new or interesting to it. Big Brother locked a bunch of people up together in a house and forced the audience to watch them bicker over nothing. Viewers were forced to watch bored contestants bicker and fight, locked up in a house with nothing else to do. It didn’t seem the kind of competition that Survivor was, even though there was a cash prize on the line. The cash prize wasn’t large enough anyways. We didn’t choose favorites because the players weren’t up against anything, except fighting off weeks of boredom. Big Brother introduced audience participation with the television audience voting off , which actually only gave the house less to do and less motive to scheme and plot their allegiances like the castaways on Survivor. Voting off was an arbitrary and meaningless process. But Big Brother had the prize component, and it took away the housemates’ access to the outside world. 5

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CW_7654X_07_Ch07.indd 152 6/1/09 re v i s eD Pa r a g r aPh Big Brother was the first spin-off reality TV show to try and repeat the success of Survivor, but it did not offer the drama that Survivor did. In Big Brother, contestants were locked in a house without any outside for weeks. Like Survivor, there was a cash prize on the line, but in Big Brother there were not any competitions or struggles. Contestants were expelled by a viewer phone poll, but the viewer phone poll gave the house no motive to scheme and plot allegiances like Survivor. In fact, the contestants had little to do, and viewers were forced to watch bored contestants bicker and fight. Viewers were not interested in the players who were not up against anything except fighting off weeks of boredom. In the end, Big Brother was simply not interesting. Analyzing the Writer’s Technique 1. How did Lee strengthen her topic sentence? 2. What irrelevant details did she delete? 3. What transitions did she add to provide coherence? 4. What words are repeated that contribute to coherence? 5. What further revisions do you recommend? Working with Text In Chapter 6, you read the essay “Black Men and Public Space” by Brent Staples

(p. 134). Return to this essay now and examine Staples’s use and placement of topic sentences. As you read, highlight each topic sentence and study how each is ed with concrete, specific details. | WoRking Wi TH T ExT 15