Olivia 5073v

Olivia

Jane Corcoran

Olivia

©Jane Corcoran

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the author.

National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication entry Author: Title: ISBN: Dewey Number:

Corcoran, Jane Olivia 9780987566010 (ebk.) A823.4

Published with the assistance of www.loveofbooks.com.au

To my husband Nathan, my beautiful children, Amy and Matthew, and my incredibly ive friends.

Thank you for giving me the time to write and the inspiration to dream. I love you all, Jane. Xx

You will always know

How to soothe my soul,

Caress my body,

And warm my heart.

No-one else loves me

As you do –

And I will love you,

Forever……

Contents

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24

Best Friends Nick Moving On Homecoming Changes Aunt Sarah Legends Going Home Surfer Girl Acceptance The Choice The Meeting Sixteen Dad Goodbye No Regrets Understanding Catch Up The Test Graduated Captured The Dream The Plan Freedom

Best Friends

Iam Olivia Rose and I am 10 years old. I live at home with my mum, dad and my sister Brooke in a beachside suburb which has many families who are just like us. Brooke is four years older than me. We share the same home and parents, but we do not share each other’s lives. We are, in my mind, an eternity apart. I think she sees me as a baby and no matter what age I become, I am always too young for her. I cannot help but look up to Brooke for wisdom and guidance. I tend to obtain this information by observation as she prefers not to chat to me. The good news is, that due to our separate existences we do not fight, and I am grateful for that. Some girls I know are always complaining of fighting with their sisters, but I think Brooke’s treatment of me saves us from that added sibling misery. So when I get the chance, I observe Brooke with a keen eye. I know that she is important to me. She is my big sister, she is graceful and elegant. She may not be much fun, but when she walks into a room she commands attention and I respect her power. I tell myself that when I am older, I will have to find my own way to be respected and powerful; but for now, I am happy just being me. I am what my parents describe to our friends as “busy”. I am always in the middle of something, and while doing it, making arrangements for my next venture. This keeps me very happy. I am involved in many activities with a variety of people. It does not suit me to dwell on grace or beauty at this time. It isn’t that I don’t aspire to these things in the future, but the things I need to do take priority, which leaves me with little time for anything else. My days are usually occupied with my best friend Phoebe. Phoebe and I are inseparable so either I am at her place, or she is at mine. To me, Phoebe is my true sister. Whenever possible, we play, eat, sleep and discover everything together. We sleep over at each other’s places so often that we have spare pillows and pyjamas at the ready at all times. Our parents must be happy with this arrangement as they do not complain and I imagine that they don’t as it keeps us both happy and busy and so they are happy too.

Phoebe and I know and understand each other. Phoebe has one older and one younger brother. The boys, although different in age, hang out together and this leaves Phoebe free to be with me. I like our friendship; we can be ourselves without having to explain anything. We know each other’s secrets and we make dreams for the future together. When we are not at home we are at the beach. Phoebe’s brothers are great surfers and have always taken Phoebe and me with them to surf. As a result, we love the beach life and are pretty good surfers for young girls. Actually Phoebe, who is naturally more athletic than me, is an excellent surfer. I have noticed her on the waves showing the boys a thing or two. The boy’s appear oblivious to Phoebe’s obvious talent; to them, we are just annoying little brats. They babysit us by dropping us in the surf with them, but really, we do not mind one little bit. My bedroom is my own little paradise. When I open my window I can’t see the ocean, but I can smell it. Sometimes I lie on my bed and dream of being in the sea. The shells on my dressing table are a constant reminder of my love for beach. I look at them and imagine I’m floating in the ocean, tasting the salt on my lips and feeling the sun tingling on my shoulders.

Nick

Nick lives next door and he is the same age as me. When I am not with Phoebe I spend my free time with him. Nick lives with his mum, dad and little sister. Nick and I became friends when I found him searching the neighbourhood for boys of his age to play with. For a long time I assisted Nick in his quest. Nick and I were amazed that none of the families around us provided him with any boys his age to play with. We were not allowed to travel beyond a couple of streets from home and we knew that other boys had to exist, however with our limited ability to roam, Nick chose me as his substitute playmate. It was not a planned thing, it just happened. One day we just stopped looking and started playing together. I have always enjoyed Nick’s company. Nick is lots of fun even though he’s a boy. He has been able to do things and show me things that are different to what I have tried before. Nick provides my life with a more adventurous edge, and I enjoy it. I try to give back to Nick as well, in my own way. Nick is always hungry and I know my way around the kitchen. My mum is a chef and she and I love to cook together. So when Nick is hungry, I practise my cooking skills with Nick. He always eats the food, and is grateful for it. I try to get some critique from him but he just seems to love everything. It makes me laugh as mum has always said, “Young men, when it comes to food, need quantity, not quality.” Somehow I think she is right. Nick says when I play with him, I slow him down. He thinks this is a good thing as it provides him with the opportunity of consideration. Apparently he often changes his mind about a plan, while I am getting ready for it, realising it was probably not a good idea. Nick says I have saved his skin a million times through my delay, and I have no reason to doubt him. So after school Mondays to Thursdays when Phoebe goes home with her brothers, Nick and I race through our homework and chores, so that we have time to explore the world via our backyards. Through our need for companionship, we have created a friendship whereby we share different ideas, laughs and experiences. Time with Nick es very quickly and I always look

forward to each day’s adventure. In the summer break after Christmas, Nick came over as he usually did when I was not at Phoebe’s house. Nick was not normally an emotional person, but I could see that he had been crying. I took him into my room and asked what was wrong, and it was then I discovered that his parents were separating. Nick said that his mother was moving away to live with his grandmother for a while until she got settled. Nick explained that his mother told his father that she was taking Nick and his sister with her and there was no discussing it. Nick said his dad was so upset that he had not spoken to anyone since. Nick did not know what do, as he was told by his mum that they would be leaving in a couple of days. I knew Nick’s grandmother lived a long drive away, so this meant another home for Nick, another school, and another quest for a friend to play with. I did not know what to say to Nick. Our friendship was very close, but it was not an emotional one. I told him he would be ok. I believed that his mum would never do anything to hurt him, and that he really had little choice about it. I knew that we were the kids; we were not the decision makers, that was our parents job and we just followed them. I said all of this in a rush to Nick and I dared not look at his face. So when I looked up and saw Nick’s eyes welling with tears, I could hold back no longer. I burst into tears and hugged him. I held him for a long time. We were like family I thought to myself and it was only right to care for Nick as if he was anyone else important to me. I held onto Nick until we both stopped crying and composed ourselves. After a while Nick told me that he was worried. He said that when his little sister was born, his mum left his dad and took them with her. He ed that he didn’t see his dad for a long time, and when he did see him, his dad cried all the time. Nick did not want to see his dad in pain again. Nick did not know why his mum had to leave him all the time. Nick really did not understand how if his mum didn’t want to live with his dad, then why did she keep coming back and forcing them all to go through this pain again? Prior to this moment, Nick and I had never discussed our parents much at all. I had no idea that his parents were so unhappy, or that Nick had experienced such pain in his life. Nick was just a kid like me, but he knew what pain was. I really felt terrible for Nick. I knew he did not deserve to be hurt all the time. I knew that the pain on his face was not just for his dad, but for himself and his sister as well.

After some quiet time in my room, something triggered in Nick’s brain that we were wasting what limited time we had left. “Come on,” Nick said, “let’s get out and enjoy our time while we can!” I stood up instantly and ran outside with Nick following me. I ran to the big Jacaranda tree in our backyard and hugged it. Nick ran in behind me and did the same. After a few moments went by, Nick reached into the pocket of his shorts and pulled out a pocket knife. He then cut his name into the bark of the tree. “You’ll never forget me now”, he said and he ran off. I followed Nick all afternoon and we played our usual games in our backyards. Nick and I didn’t speak about his move again. It was like we had decided we would fit as many adventures in as we could until it was time for him to leave. Soon it was soon time for Nick to go. When the morning of his departure arrived, I went over to say goodbye to Nick. When I went into his house, his dad was sitting on the lounge with his face in his hands. He looked broken. I didn’t disturb him and kept on heading towards Nick’s room. When I got there, I reached into my bag and gave Nick a parcel. Nick’s eyes lit up. He unwrapped the gift and found a photo frame with a photo of the two of us in it. I had asked mum to have the silver frame engraved on the back, and it said:

“Your friend forever, Livie.”

The tears welled up in Nick’s eyes. I did not want to see him cry. So I grabbed him and hugged him and he held onto me like he was never going to let go. When he did finally let go, Nick said, “Thanks so much Livie, I promise to keep in touch”. I smiled and walked Nick downstairs. His mum and sister were packed and ready to go. Before I knew it, I was waving Nick goodbye and he was gone. After Nick left the pain hit me. Nick was the first person that I had ever had to say goodbye to. I had not suffered any form of loss prior to this and it hurt almost straight away. The pain did not go away quickly either. I soon understood why I had seen the pain in Nick’s eyes before he left. Nick knew what was ahead. Nick knew it before he had gone. The loss in Nick’s eyes that day in the bedroom said it all. I was innocent to the concept of pain at that time and I was unable to understand it. But now I felt what he was feeling. Losing a friend, a

really good friend hurt, and I hoped that Nick would find someone to fill that emptiness quickly, so he did not feel this pain for too long. With Nick leaving I spent even more time with Phoebe. Our busy schedule meant that we were inseparable. This helped me recover from the loss of Nick fairly quickly, but he was never forgotten. Nick had enabled me to see things differently when we were together. Without Nick I became more careful; without me, I feared that Nick would take too many risks. We had been good for each other and I missed him. Whenever I was at home and wished that Nick could be with me, I would go and sit under the Jacaranda tree in my backyard and place my fingers in his name, which he had engraved in its body forever. When I was sitting in that place I was with Nick, and when I was with him, I was never alone.

Moving On

By the time Phoebe and I were at High School, Nick was a distant memory to me. He didn’t write and I had no real way of ing him without an address. The pain I had initially suffered after he left had ed and now it was two years since he had gone. I guessed that he had moved on and that he was happy. As for me, I was now twelve and almost a teenager. I spent all of my time with Phoebe and we were very much aware that our lives were becoming more complicated. My sister Brooke was now sixteen and planning her future. She had always been interested in fashion and design and had her mind set to study this once she completed her senior exams. Brooke had a constant stream of boys ringing our home and asking her out, but she never seemed impressed by any of them. Not that I blame her, I don’t know what all the fuss is about with boys. To me they seem annoying and smelly, and at times quite rude. Phoebe’s brothers are still surfing mad. Phoebe’s older brother Brad finished high school last year. He has a job in a surf shop selling surf gear during the week and teaching surfing lessons on the weekends. Brad loves it. I think Phoebe’s parents hoped he would do his senior years at school however, Brad takes part in competitive surfing and hopes to be a professional surfer one day. Phoebe and I are impressed with Brad: He already has a sponsor for his surfing and these sponsors provide him with various goodies such as boards, wax, wet suits and boardies and pay for him to compete in the National surfing events. Phoebe looks up to him so much and he has become her idol. We borrow any spare products he gets whenever we can. It feels really cool to have him around us and it is like we are almost famous. Phoebe’s younger brother Will is a great surfer too, but who knows what he will do in the future. He is actually quite smart and his parents hope that his ion for surfing will not prevent him from finishing his education and getting a good job. They are always reminding all of us that surfing, as fun as it is, is really just a hobby and that we all need a back-up plan. It sounds like the right thing for Phoebe’s parents to say but in reality, all of their kids are great surfers and

perhaps I am the only one who needs the back-up plan. I have always loved surfing with Phoebe but it is not my ion. I still love cooking with Mum and I have often considered the idea of becoming a chef. I also like investigating and researching things and whenever I can, I go on the odd adventure in memory of Nick. When I do think of Nick, I often end up cooking. Being in the kitchen is in my blood. I love watching Mum cook and creating new taste sensations. I know Mum loves to cook with me even though she does not want me to be a chef. Phoebe loves food and is always trying everything we make. When we make too much food, we often take it to her place for her brothers to eat. It’s not the same as feeding Nick, but they enjoy it just the same. School life is changing for me this year. Things are much more competitive which I guess had to happen. High school is so different to primary school. In primary school everyone was the same and we just played. Boys, girls, short, tall, smart, average, we were all together. Now we are in high school everything is different. Boys and girls don’t sit together anymore; we even have some classes apart. Some subjects are graded and suddenly everyone is awkwardly aware of whether they are smarter, faster, prettier, funnier, more popular, or none of the above. This whole separation of skills and talents is something inevitably challenging in high school. It is like the system is made to make you squirm. I am not really a fan of it. Phoebe seems to thrive on it and I ire her. She knows exactly who she is. Phoebe is sporty, competitive, averagely intelligent but confident enough to get away with anything. She knows who she is and where she is going. Me on the other hand, I am still busy doing everything I can at once. I don’t like to miss anything but I couldn’t say that I currently display any single talent that makes me feel special. In reality, I am still trying to figure out who I am and what my skills are. Ok, I am good at sport, but I’m not the best; I do well in class, but I’m not the smartest; and I fit in socially, although I’m not the most popular. I am still very aware that I have not as yet found my true identity. These changes make me more aware of my world around me. I try to figure out my future by observing my family and the decisions they have made in life. I see Brooke, and I know that she will be creative and beautiful. She will marry some

gorgeous guy (when she finally picks one) and be happy. Brooke will be like Mum. Mum followed her dreams, fell in love with Dad and is living her life. Mum has always displayed a genuine happiness with her choices in life: she works as a chef part-time, and is otherwise at home with us, her family. Mum is very close to her sister, Aunt Sarah. Aunt Sarah does not live close by but she used to when I was younger and she is Mum’s best friend. They have always been very ive of each other and I have always been close to both of them. As for Dad, I have always known Dad to be a hard worker. He spends most hours of his working day at his practice in town as Dad is a psychiatrist. This means he sees a wide variety of people with various problems in their lives. I imagine he would be a great person to chat over problems with, if he wasn’t my dad. Dad is also one of those guys who, even though he is ageing, remains ruggedly handsome. I can see why Mum fell in love with him. He is even tempered and fun to be with. Dad keeps me down to earth and reminds me that life is about balance. I find this helpful when I feel like I have no plans for the future. Dad says it is ok to take your time to figure things out and I am relying on his wisdom to get me through. My dad reminds me that even though I am uncertain of who I am right now, or where I am going to end up, that I must remain true and honest to myself and those around me. I love the simple truth that comes from home. I want to remain aware of this and never forget the importance of this internal strength when I am older. I see many people, even teenage friends at school, who seem lost in themselves. I am thankful that this is not the case for me. I tell myself that I will figure out where I am going eventually, I just don’t know when this will happen, and I guess I am a little impatient with the waiting.

Homecoming

It was a regular afternoon after school when I wandered home and found Mum waiting for me at the front door. “What’s up?” I said to Mum. “It’s Nick,” Mum replied, “he’s next door at his dad’s. I saw him arrive and I thought I should let you know. I haven’t heard from anyone but you may want to go over and say hello.” I was really surprised to hear that Nick was next door. We had not seen or heard from Nick for three years. So much time had ed that the only time I thought about Nick these days was when I ed our old Jacaranda tree. Once I heard the news about Nick, a part of me wanted to rush right over to see him. I felt instantly connected to him again, to that childhood playmate and companion. But I didn’t rush over. Behind that initial impulse of wanting to see Nick, I felt self-conscious and nervous, and so I waited. I went to my room and my mind was racing. I was now thirteen and in my second year of high school. I have a boyfriend, Andy, (well kind of), and life is currently full of many social dilemma’s, none of which I feel all that confident about. My heart began to race and my nerves were getting the better of me. I did not know where to begin, or whether Nick and I would be able to be the kind of friends we once were. So I did what I thought was the safest thing for me. I did nothing. After dinner that night while I was doing some homework, there was a knock at the front door. I heard a familiar, but slightly deeper voice, and turned my head to see Mum leading Nick into the lounge room and heading my way. When I saw Nick, I was quite surprised. My childhood mate had grown into something so visually different than I had ed. He was in fact incredibly handsome. His skin was tanned and his eyes were brown. His hair was still blonde, but there seemed more of it than I ed. I didn’t move and I didn’t speak. I must have looked shocked, so Mum spoke to break the uneasy silence that was created by my awkwardness. Then Nick smiled, and looked at me with those deep brown eyes. They were desperately

searching into mine; trying to find the friend he had left behind. With that smile I knew it was really my Nick, so I smiled back. Words came to me shortly after, and before I knew it, we were back in my room and catching up on all that had been missed in both of our lives, since we had been apart. Nick explained that things did not work out so well for him being away from his dad. As the years went on, he missed his dad more and more. His mum would not let him come and visit his dad, not even in the holidays, and this made Nick really sad. In the end, Nick told his mum that he was not going to go to school or do anything unless he came home to live with his dad. His mum must have realised that Nick was serious and as a result of Nick’s educational protest, he was sent back to live with his dad. It was obviously a lot for Nick to go through. I decided pretty quickly that I would not complain about the fact that I had not heard a word from him while he was with his mum. He obviously had had a much harder time than I was aware of, so I kept quiet. It was clear to me that if Nick was unable to visit his own dad, ing me was probably way out of the question. I ed it was Nick’s greatest fear as he was leaving that he would not see his dad anymore and he was right. I felt sad for Nick and yet proud of him as well for finding a way to get back home. The next day I took Nick under my wing and showed him around our high school. He seemed uneasy about the day, but I assured him that I was there and he would be fine. The first person to greet us was Phoebe. I had told her on the phone about Nick returning and she waited for us to arrive by the school gates. When Phoebe saw Nick, she gave him a huge smile. She was always more confident around boys than me and her female domination was ignited by his vision. She looked at me, gave me one of her “oh my God” glances, and then chatted madly beside us as she became, without further ado, the official tour guide for Nick. I never blamed Phoebe for her enthusiasm. She was always very confident, even with people she was not that familiar with. I loved how she always said the things I only dared to think about. She was my best friend because of the harmony that was created in our opposite qualities. Of course, I was much more forthright around my friends and family, but I was much quieter when it came to boys. I did not have the confidence or the inclination that Phoebe possessed in my own ability to obtain their attention.

The day went well for Nick. He was a likeable guy, and so he settled into the routine of a new school easily. His old mates appeared genuinely pleased that he had returned, and I felt really pleased for him that he was back. I did notice some of the girls turn their heads and chat amongst themselves as he went ed them, and it made me feel not quite as guilty about my initial reaction to him the previous night. Nick had really grown into a gorgeous looking guy. I was certain all these things must have existed before, but somehow my younger eyes had never noticed them. That night, just as I was finishing the last of my homework, the phone rang. It was Phoebe. When she started talking, she was speaking so fast that it was hard to make sense of it. I soon realised however that her rambling was all as a result of Nick. She was clearly besotted by him. It was amusing to hear her enthusiasm after only one day! I listened to her for a while, and thought how overwhelming the day must have been for Nick. The next day at school, I introduced Nick to Andy. He was my boyfriend and had been away yesterday with the swim team. Andy was a nice guy. He was fit, athletic and he did not ask much of me as far as our relationship was concerned. This suited me just fine. For both of us it was our first boyfriend/girlfriend thing, and we were not serious. However, in the social web of a teenager, there came a point when you had to have a partner or be considered not good enough. Neither of us wanted the bother of a relationship, but we agreed to partner up to avoid the scrutiny of being single. It was a handy arrangement and it worked. I now wondered if Nick had not gone away, whether he would have been my Andy, my safety net. That afternoon after school, Nick queried my arrangement with Andy. He immediately saw through “the relationship” and wanted to know what I was doing with him. I explained that the previous year had been a difficult one. Suddenly my life, and the life of the girls around me, involved boys and I was not really that interested. Phoebe loved the attention of boys; she seemed to thrive with their interest and play “Ping-Pong” with their hearts with little consideration of the consequences. Although I ired her confidence, I did want to get involved with boys. I explained that I had told Phoebe that I would agree to “go out” with the right guy, to avoid the uncomfortable day-to-day exposure of the teenage hunt for the perfect mate. Phoebe knew that I just needed to find a nice person. Someone who was not

looking for anything serious, someone who needed the same out of the arrangement as I did. It did not take Phoebe long to come up with Andy. She knew I liked him as a friend as he was nice to look at, athletic and appealing in all the right ways, but still quiet and disinterested in any great quest for his soul mate. We watched him for a while and noticed that he did not give uncomfortable advances to girls, although he often received them and was embarrassed by their interest. Phoebe came up with a plan to ask him. I thought the idea was too simple and lacked some insight. However, after some discussion, Andy agreed with the plan and we became boyfriend and girlfriend by last semester. The reality is that I have been able to avoid the issue of searching for my true love ever since. Nick seemed to think this was an outrageous proposal, filled with “fatal flaws”. Firstly, he indicated that one of us may actually not want to continue with such an arrangement. Secondly, one of us may actually find our true love in the meantime and what then? I agreed that these things could happen and that we had already decided that we would just move on if we wanted, no questions asked. Nick shrugged and seemed amused by the whole thing. Nick shook his head again and just laughed to himself. “Am I confrontational? Does your relationship with Andy mean that you are somehow automatically able to exclude me from your life?” I then understood the amusement and laughed with him. “No”, I replied, “you are and always will be a part of me. I am sure it is of no consequence to Andy that you exist. I really am just as convenient to him as he is to me.” Nick rolled his eyes at me and smiled, but inside, I knew we really hadn’t sorted anything.

Changes

The following weekend Phoebe came over bright and early Saturday morning. I was still in bed and was surprised by her early arrival. “What’s up?” I asked. Phoebe gave me that devilish grin of hers and I knew her plan. I had seen so many others rise and fall in her arms that the pattern was obvious to me. “Not Nick!” I said. “He doesn’t deserve to be manipulated by your teasing ways Phoebe. Nick is my friend and my neighbour!” Phoebe smiled again, a softer smile, not the usual thing for her and so it worried me. “What’s really up?” I said. Phoebe sighed. I could see that something was different this time about her, and then she spoke. “I think Nick’s different. I really like him, I want to spend time with him and get to know him, and I don’t want to just play with him or hurt him as he is your friend. I wouldn’t do that to Nick and besides, he is just next door!” It felt kind of strange. Phoebe and Nick as a couple? I guess it made sense as Phoebe is my best friend and she is fantastic, and Nick would of course be attracted to such a great girl. I knew that she would do her best, and if Nick was like any of the other’s, he would not be able to resist Phoebe’s charm. She would be in her element, so clever in her attraction and luring of Nick. I resigned myself to the fact that Nick would be hers. Over the next few days, I laughed to myself knowing that Nick would become a victim of her advances. He had little option but to find her adorable, and he did. By the end of the following week, Nick was discussing with me whether he too should have a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, and take himself off the market and obtain some privacy. I could not argue with the idea, since I relied on it myself, but then my arrangement was not based on initial instinct and attraction, merely convenience. From this point on, Phoebe rarely left my home. The three of us behaved as one. We were all different and offered a variety of styles to our friendship, but we were definitely one unit. Nick was like a life force to me and his energy and love for life reminded me of the times we used to spend together. He took me back to

that simple girl that I had been and reminded me that I did not have to dwell on the teenage drama that was starting to fill my life, prior to his return. I was truly happy. Nick added the balance to life that I had missed without really realising it. Nick seemed happy too. He said that he had missed our town and the simple pleasures we had together. I felt Nick was gradually becoming more and more relieved of the stressors that had built up in his life away from us and Nick seemed to be as delighted as I was to be back. Phoebe was the other life force that fitted into both of our universes. Phoebe had her own charisma. She was always keen to make plans “come to life” and give them her own personal twist of enthusiasm. Added to that was her complete adoration of Nick which was relentless. Phoebe and I had come as a package for so long now that people were used to it. Nick of course was over the moon with her interest in him and he allowed Phoebe’s dream to come true. I never really considered that Nick would take Phoebe too seriously. I thought that to him, Phoebe would be like my Andy. I think both Nick and I believed that eventually Phoebe would move on, as she always did, and that little complication that made things a bit awkward from time to time between us, would eventually be removed. At least that’s how I imagined it. By the time I turned fourteen, our daily lives seemed to run very smoothly. The three of us knew our place and I thought we were all happy. One lunch-time however, Andy came up and asked me to speak in to him in private. I went into our home room with him and sat down. Andy seemed upset. I asked him if he was ok and he said “no”. I looked closely at Andy’s face and he was serious. He told me that he felt he could not continue with our arrangement any longer. He apologised and said that I had not done anything to hurt him in any way, but people were giving him grief about the amount of time I spent with Nick and that they were expecting him to retaliate against Nick in some way. Andy knew that Nick and I were best mates, but he did not want a public scene about a girl. He said that he knew someone else who could take my place with this arrangement and would I mind if I broke up with him so he could move on. I was a bit shocked. Was I losing my fake boyfriend over Nick? Nick, who was apparently in a fake relationship with Phoebe, who really loved him? How complicated. I realised that none of this was Andy’s problem and I did not want

to cause Andy any more grief than he had already been experiencing. Of course he could move on. We always had that agreement and he was free to go. I thanked him for being such a great pal and keeping me out of any romantic drama to date. He was equally polite and thankful and then he left. I went straight to see Phoebe and Nick. Phoebe was quick to react. Right, she said, now we must find you another man! But somehow I did not want that. Not now. I really felt no need for that anymore. Andy was right, Nick was the man in my life, even if he was not my boyfriend, and Phoebe was my best friend, so life was full. Phoebe shrugged, thinking I would change my mind and when that happened, she will select the right man for me. Nick didn’t say anything. I didn’t make much of it at the time and did not question his silence about my so called love life. The next afternoon, Nick and I were alone at my place. Phoebe had to stay at home and prepare for her father’s birthday that evening with her family. It was then that Nick queried my decision about not getting a replacement for Andy. “Do you think you should replace him?” Nick asked. “I don’t see why,” I replied. “No-one’s bothering me anyway as they think I am somehow entangled with you.” I laughed at this idea, but Nick was not laughing. “What’s wrong?” I asked. Nick put his head down. I ed this face; it was the face I had seen in a little boy years ago. When Nick looked up, he had tears in his eyes once more. “Nick what is it?” I asked again. Nick then spoke, “Livie, you have been my life ever since I can , but Phoebe is my girl at present and I don’t want to hurt her. I should never have agreed to this silly arrangement with her, she is totally in to it, but I don’t want to do the wrong thing by her either”. I assured Nick it was ok. I told him that I was not looking for a boyfriend and he was free to be with Phoebe and enjoy her company. Somehow that didn’t help the situation, and Nick appeared to be even more hurt with my response. In the end Nick was so upset that he left my room and went home. It was a terrible moment for both of us. Of course Nick cared for me, I knew that, I also cared for him and Phoebe, we were all the best of friends, all three of us. So why was Nick so angry at me? I just didn’t understand.

The next day at school was awful. Phoebe was herself but Nick was not speaking to me. This made things very difficult. I just tried to ignore it as he obviously needed to get over whatever was on his mind. The next day was no better, and by the end of the week I was beginning to get upset. I could not really explain it to Phoebe and she was blaming me for Nick’s bad mood. Nick had told her I was being silly, not finding a new boyfriend, but I didn’t want one and I did not know why it was such a big deal for him. Why should I have to find some other boy? After a few weeks like this I became depressed. Weeks then drifted into months and it was not long until I had withdrawn from Phoebe and Nick altogether. I made excuses to Phoebe about having to do things at home for Mum and Dad until I had distanced myself from her completely. I felt I had no choice but to do this. Mum was really worried and I could see that she was. She was asking questions and wondering why I was at home alone as this was not normal for me. I started telling Mum lots of lies which I felt bad about. I had never lied to Mum about such silly things before. I told her that I was tired, that I needed some “me” time and that I thought that Phoebe and Nick needed some space. It was clear that Mum didn’t believe a word I said though. I should have known; Mum was always much smarter than I imagined. One morning, Mum said she was taking me to the doctor. There was no discussing it, we were just going. I guess she knew I would be too embarrassed talking to Dad about my problems. It must be terribly annoying to both of them having him readily available with his skills and not being able to use them on me. So Mum took me for a visit to our local doctor. The doctor knew me very well. I had never been a sick child but we had seen each other from time to time over the years. After talking to him for a little while, he told Mum I was going through a period of “down”. He said it was not unusual for girls of my age, but that she should try to mix things up a bit to snap me out of it. He indicated that if things did not improve then we could try some counselling. If that didn’t work, there was medication, but he was not recommending that right now. He insisted that some change in my life might improve things and do the trick. Although I was not unhappy with his recommendation, I couldn’t see any avenue for change in my life that I had not already been down, besides boarding school.

On the drive home, Mum did not say a word to me. Mum normally talked a lot but she remained very quiet. I looked out the window and tried to imagine what she was thinking, but she gave me no clues, just silence. When we got home, Mum made a phone call in her bedroom that was quite lengthy. When she hung up the phone, Mum came into my room and sat on my bed. After a moment of awkward silence, she put her arm around me and said, “Olivia, things are going to be alright. I want you to forget school for now and pack your things. I am sending you for a break at the beach with Aunt Sarah. Consider it an early start to your school holidays”. So now I knew what Mum was doing - she was sending me away. There were only two weeks left of school and she said she would let the school know I was finishing early. The reality was that I had already sat all my exams and I was not due to do anything serious at school in the remaining few weeks while the teachers were grading and preparing reports anyway. When Mum left my room I went into autopilot. I found my suitcase and packed. I was not upset, I was numb. I had already distanced myself from everyone anyway so why not visit Aunt Sarah. It seemed logical. I was packed in an hour and Mum wasted no time either. We packed up the car and left for Aunt Sarah’s house together. Aunt Sarah lived quite a drive away, some four hours by car. It was almost dinnertime when we arrived. Aunt Sarah was standing out the front waiting for us. Mum gave her the biggest hug. I guess she missed being close to her sister, something I had not really thought about much before. Mum stayed the night and drove home the next day. I said my goodbyes to Mum and thanked her for bringing me away. Mum smiled and said it was fine. She gave me a huge hug and I held her tight. Mum was one of those people who was in my life and just fitted so perfectly. She didn’t smother me, she just knew me. She understood that I had to get away and here I was. “Thank you Mum, I love you”, I whispered in her ear. “Love you too my darling”, she said. I walked Mum to the car where she and Aunt Sarah said their goodbyes. I waved to Mum as she drove away. As I watched her leave, I felt even more lost and

alone than I had before. I was frightened and scared. Aunt Sarah must have felt my pain. She took me by the hand and led me to my room. I curled up on my bed and although it was not yet bedtime, I found my pyjamas and went to sleep.

Aunt Sarah

Aunt Sarah lived by the beach. This was the first time that I had ever come to stay with her by myself. I had stayed at Aunt Sarah’s place years ago with Mum, but I really did not it much. What I first noticed was that Aunt Sarah’s place was simple. It was an open plan beach house and it was painted white on the inside which made it feel bright and cheerful. I knew as soon as I walked around her home that I loved it. It felt peaceful and warm inside and reminded me of home. I have always been very close to Aunt Sarah. When I was very young, Aunt Sarah lived near our house and she would come to our place and look after me all the time. I also went to sleepovers at her house and she was always so kind to me. Aunt Sarah made me feel so comfortable and I always loved that about her. I used to ask her why she did not have children of her own and Aunt Sarah would say to me, “If I was to have a baby, she would be just like you and I would love her just as I love you”. When I was in Kindergarten, Aunt Sarah moved away to her beach house. Aunt Sarah’s husband David had been involved in a fatal car accident and it was like Aunt Sarah could not face us anyone after that; she became very withdrawn and the spirit inside her that was always so bright and smiling seemed to fade a little. Although we lived on the coast, Aunt Sarah selected a quiet beach town some hours away from us. I always believed that Aunt Sarah put some distance between herself and her memory of David’s death. Aunt Sarah never remarried and this seemed to me such a waste. Over the past years since her move, we have remained in touch with Aunt Sarah by writing letters and cards and sending gifts at special times. I had always treasured my letter writing with Aunt Sarah. Although our letters were filled with our lives and problems, they were also filled with a kind of mystery and magic that made me feel very excited. Aunt Sarah, although alone, over the years seemed to regain that mystery that I always saw in her through our correspondence. I hoped that one day I would be able to develop that side of my character, to ensure that other people benefited from that chemistry, the way

that I did from Aunt Sarah. On arriving at Aunt Sarah’s, I was initially very secluded in my thoughts. I kept most of my fears and concerns to myself though as I did not want to burden anyone with my problems, least of all Aunt Sarah. I was aware that teenagers were prone to dramatics, and I was sure that I would simply snap out of it or something. I was very aware that Aunt Sarah understood the true meaning of pain through the loss of David, and as a result, my current problems were not serious enough to bother her with. After the first week or so, Aunt Sarah must have decided that things between us had to change and she came to me one morning and asked me to go with her to town. Aunt Sarah explained that she had things to do and it would be helpful if I came with her. I just wanted to stay at the beach house and mope, but I did not want to appear ungrateful so I agreed to go. I could see that Aunt Sarah was trying to cheer me up and I did not want to disappoint her. I also knew my options were probably limited anyway, as Aunt Sarah looked like she was a woman on a mission. Once we were in town, Aunt Sarah did some shopping and then went to a bookstore. After buying some books, we had lunch at a nice cafe and drove home. It seemed simple enough but Aunt Sarah was plotting. At dinner that night, Aunt Sarah asked me what I was going to be doing with myself during my stay. “To be honest”, I said, “I’m really not sure”. It was then that Aunt Sarah indicated if I was going to mope, I was to at least make some use of my time with her and read. Aunt Sarah walked me to her library. As we walked she informed me that she did not mind what book I read, as long as I was educating my brain in some way. I was surprised by the amount of books Aunt Sarah had collected over the years. I noticed that the books she had picked up today were not yet on the shelf but beside it. I decided not to look at the new books, leaving those for Aunt Sarah and started looking through the packed bookshelf myself. Aunt Sarah was clearly a ionate reader. She had a variety of books but mostly they were about mystery, romance and love, but also many books relating to myths and legends. Since I was not in the mood for romance and love, especially with the idea of Phoebe and Nick so raw in my brain, I turned to mystery, myths and legends for some inspiration. As I looked at my options I

noticed a book that was worn around the edges. That particular book looked as if it had been read many times before and so I decided to use its weathered appearance as a guide for selection. The book was not too thick and so I sat and completed it late that night. The next morning I slept in. Aunt Sarah was waiting for me when I woke up. At breakfast I thanked Aunt Sarah for the book to read as I had enjoyed it. I escaped into it for the evening and it was nice to enjoy that luxury. Aunt Sarah then asked if I would like to talk to her about what was bothering me. I said it was nothing and that I did not want to talk about it. Aunt Sarah said she ed being a teenager and how hard it was, but that it was time that we got to know each other a bit better again. I did not disagree, but I was quiet. Aunt Sarah in her desperation got up to give me another book to read. When she handed me the book she held my hand and said, “Everything is going to be ok, Olivia. I can see you have a gentle and innocent soul but you should not be afraid”. As Aunt Sarah went to leave she said, “Take your time with this one, it is one of my favourites. Read it to the end and do not ask me any questions until you have finished it. If you do not finish it or you are not interested in talking about it, then that is ok”. I shrugged, wondering what Aunt Sarah was up to and just replied “Ok.” I thought to myself that reading the book would probably be better than being questioned by Aunt Sarah about my unhappiness. I was not quite sure why Aunt Sarah had mentioned my soul, but my teenage power of avoidance was dominating and so I did not question her at all. Later that night, I could not sleep. When I closed my eyes, I thought of Nick. It was strange I thought to myself, Why are my dreams filled with Nick? Why couldn’t we all just remain friends without all of this awkwardness between us? Why was he so angry with me that he did not speak to me anymore? It was obvious. I knew him like I knew myself, I had no fear around him, I felt no discomfort like I did with other boys and of course, he was gorgeous, but it was not just about that with Nick, it was everything. The more I thought about it the more stupid I felt. Why did I allow this craziness to happen? How did I lose my two best friends like this? I later woke in a lather

of perspiration. I got up, drank a glass of water and came back to bed. As I settled down I saw the book Aunt Sarah had given me the day before and decided to read before I went crazy. This was a last ditch effort to take my mind away from Nick. I knew that reading often made me tired, so maybe this book would do the trick.

Legends

The book started off like many others. There seemed nothing mysterious about it at first, but I was captured by its content. The story surrounded mythical ideals and the ability to choose your mate forever. Now as simple as this sounded, it provided the characters in the book with many dilemma’s. For example, when they picked their mate they had no opportunity to make a mistake or change their mind. In this story, when you made your choice of “forever”, you did so by way of sacrifice. Again it didn’t sound that strange. I thought to myself, “We all make that sacrifice, we all give up the ability to be with others when we marry and that makes sense”. However this sacrifice was different. It meant that the characters were unable to leave their mate, not ever. They were coupled together, forever. In the event that one of them was to die, then the survivor would be unable to choose another mate for the rest of their life. The survivor would remain attached to their original mate until their own death. This was considered the ultimate sacrifice and the true concept of loving someone “forever”. In this story that was the sacrifice you chose. You could only make the choice once, and after that, you were not given another opportunity. It all sounded very simplistic; however as I read more of the book, I realised the complexity of the word “forever” for these characters. For some it meant eternal love, for others, eternal heartache and for some, eternal loneliness. By the time I had finished the book, I was surprised. Aunt Sarah was right; my mind was full now with so many questions. The book had enabled me to change my focus altogether from the dramas of my own life to the complexities of the choices we make in life. One of the things that remained a constant in my mind was the idea that having choices could be more difficult than never having the opportunity to make a choice at all. These ideas consumed my thoughts and my mind was far away from the problems I had left behind at home. It was clear that Aunt Sarah had given me food for thought. I wondered how worried she really was about me to provide me with such interesting reading. After tossing the ideas around in my own head for a while, I decided I had

nothing to lose by inviting Aunt Sarah to discuss the book with me. “I’ve read that book, Aunt Sarah” I said, as I walked into the kitchen to pour a drink. When I said this Aunt Sarah smiled back at me. She then walked towards me and after I finished my drink, she took me by the hand and we walked out to the beach. We walked for a long time. At first Aunt Sarah said nothing. Then, after we had walked quite a distance, she began to talk. I listened intensely to Aunt Sarah as she was such a great storyteller. She was so warm and easy to be with, and yet there was this other side to her which seemed mystical and intriguing. As we walked, Aunt Sarah talked about legends of long ago. She told me that the ancient Greeks told stories of gods, heroes and mythical creatures who lived with the humans. The myths were amazing stories about how the gods lived and the drama and rivalry that existed between them. Each god seemed to have powers that were unique to them and these powers made them special and gave them advantages when it came to their survival. As Aunt Sarah spoke, I found the most interesting group of gods to be the Olympians. Aunt Sarah said these were the gods that the Greek people believed in. Apparently there were fourteen of these gods and they each had their own identity and story to tell. Aunt Sarah explained them like this: “Zeus was the king of the gods; his symbols were the thunderbolt, eagle and oak. He was the father of other gods such as Hercules, Ares, Athena, Hephaestus, Artemis and Apollo and he us was the brother of Poseidon and Hades. Hera was the wife of Zeus. She was the goddess of marriage, women and children. She was a very jealous woman and was known to punish the mortal wives of Zeus. Her symbols were the sceptre, diadem and peacock. Hades was the god of the underworld and a brother to Zeus and Poseidon. His symbols were Cerberus, the three-headed dog, the bident and the Helm of Darkness. Poseidon was the god of the sea, horses and earthquakes. He was a brother to Zeus and Hades and was said to create horses from sea foam. His symbols were the trident, horse, bull and sea foam.

Demeter was the goddess of fertility, grain and harvest. She was a sister to Zeus and her symbols were the sceptre, torch and corn. Ares was the god of war, murder and bloodshed. He was a son to Zeus and a brother to Athena. His symbols were the bow, lyre and laurel. Athena was the goddess of wisdom, warfare, handicrafts and reason. She was the favourite daughter of Zeus. It was believed that Athena was born from Zeus’s head and as a result she was known as the wisest of the gods. Athena’s symbols were the aegis, owl and olive tree. Apollo was the god of music, prophecies, poetry and archery. He was known as one of the most beautiful gods. He was said to be the god of truth and light and his symbols were the bow, lyre and laurel. Artemis was the goddess of wild things and the hunt. She was the twin brother of Apollo and her symbols were the bow and deer. Aphrodite was the goddess of love, lust and beauty. She was considered the most beautiful of the goddesses. She was the wife of Hephaestus and had a son Eros. Her symbols were the sceptre, myrtle and dove. Hephaestus was the god of fire and the forge. He was the son of Zeus. Hephaestus, although married to Aphrodite, was hated by Aphrodite for cheating on her with Ares. His symbol was the Axe.” All of this information was a lot to take in. It was clear that these gods were special. You either had to be the fastest or the smartest or the most beautiful. It was highly competitive in their world and there was no room for being ordinary at anything. I found that it reminded me of high school where everyone had to be good at something to be someone. Aunt Sarah told me that when the gods were created, it was their job to guide the mortals beneath them. These gods were later known as heroes and it was their talents that would lead the mortals to aim for great things. It was clear from what Aunt Sarah said that this mythology was very important to the Greek people, as it was used to explain many everyday things, from natural phenomena to friendships, and as a result, nothing was left to chance. “Has your mum ever spoken to you about our Greek heritage Olivia?” Aunt

Sarah asked. I thought for a bit. “No, not really”, I answered. “Well, its time you knew a little bit more ”, Aunt Sarah replied. “Every family has heritage,” she explained. “Heritage is the history of where our parents and their parents have come from. Lots of people you grow up with have families who have come from places and countries other than the one that we living in now. Most of us ended up here after our families travelled great distances. The family on your mother’s side goes back to the ancient Greeks, did you know that?” Aunt Sarah said to me. “No”, I replied, “I was aware that Grandma was Greek, but that was it really”. “That’s right. She died before you were born and we have lived here all our lives”, Aunt Sarah said. I was surprised that no-one had really mentioned much about it before now, but Aunt Sarah made it sound very interesting. “Is that why you like those old books so much?” I asked. “Yes”, Aunt Sarah said, “I enjoy learning about our culture as it gives me a sense of belonging”. “What about Dad?” I asked. “Was he from Greek heritage as well?” “Your dad has never spoken much of his family,” Aunt Sarah said, “so I am not really sure. Your dad is handsome enough to be a Greek God though isn’t he?” Aunt Sarah said. I looked at her and we both laughed. Dad was a handsome man, but really no-one thinks such things about their father do they? “I’ve always considered you and Mum to be the beautiful ones”, I said. Aunt Sarah smiled at me and gave me a big hug, “You know, Olivia, beauty is something that comes from the inside, and with you, I think we hit the jackpot”. I felt a little embarrassed by what Aunt Sarah said to describe me. I never really considered myself to be “beautiful” but it was sweet for Aunt Sarah to be so kind to me. I decided to change the subject and so I asked Aunt Sarah more questions about the book. I queried the legend and indicated that it could be considered a

curse. Aunt Sarah sighed. “Yes, it can be seen like that I guess. What the book explains is that everyone has options. How you use those options and what fate is given to you is something that is out of your control. All you can do is prepare your path, be happy with your decisions and then accept your place”. I nodded, and then queried, “But the choice? The choice can change everything?” “It depends on how you look at it”, Aunt Sarah said. “If it was your path, and you are using the choice just to guarantee it, then perhaps you are not changing anything?” “So how long have the Greeks believed in these legends?” I asked. “Do people still believe in them? Do you believe in them?” I asked. Aunt Sarah sat quietly in the sand and so I sat with her. She looked down and became a bit quiet and serious which was not usually her style. After a while I felt a bit awkward. Maybe I was asking too many questions, but I felt like Aunt Sarah wanted to talk to me about these things. After a few minutes Aunt Sarah spoke. “Yes Olivia, in the last chapter of the book, the option of choice was explained. This was a legend of years ago and that legend claimed the ability to give to the believer the gift of “forever”. Although it was considered taboo, due to the dangers involved, some of our Greek ancestors have continued with this tradition, with mixed results. This tradition is not openly discussed by our people - my mother told me about it in secret, and she never spoke about it with your mother. I have never spoken about this tradition to your mother either and so I don’t know if she knows about it”. “So Mum doesn’t know about this tradition?” I questioned. “I hope that she does,” Aunt Sarah replied, “but we have never spoken about it to each other. I have always felt bound by the heritage of our family and it has always been very close to my heart, but it is not for everyone, and your mum has never believed that it is good to live within the stories of the past. This tradition is a gift of our heritage, ed on to certain women in each generation. Your mum never believed in it or asked any questions about it and so I never spoke of

it”. I thought about all of this for a while. The legends were very interesting. I could see why Aunt Sarah liked them so much. “Do people still try to create forever?” I asked. “Is something like that possible?” “Yes” Aunt Sarah said. “Now Olivia, I am ing on this information to you as I feel it is my place in the family to do so, do you understand?” I nodded at Aunt Sarah. Aunt Sarah closed her eyes and took a deep breath; I could sense the importance of the sharing of this information to her and my skin began to tingle. “The legend says,” Aunt Sarah whispered, “to create ‘forever’, three things have to occur. The first is that you have to be a true believer in hope and in spirit. This eliminates most people immediately as such qualities are rarely found. Only a handful of people really dare to dream beyond what is every day and the norm”. Aunt Sarah continued, “The second thing was that the person being “chosen” had to be the same blood type as the person choosing them”. This seemed very complicated to me. Aunt Sarah explained that the keeping of the same bloodline was essential to the tradition. I thought this sounded crazy. I thought what if the person you wanted to choose and loved with all your heart was a different blood type? You could not choose them? So do you stop loving them? Do you then love someone else or do you not make the choice of forever? Aunt Sarah smiled at me. It was clear she could see my brain ticking as it worked overtime to understand this requirement. “It makes it complicated doesn’t it?” she said. I nodded at her. “Yes, it most certainly does.” “The third and final condition,” Aunt Sarah said, “was the creation of the gift of ‘forever’. This was not an easy task. The blood had to be mixed to enable the conception of forever between the two. Once this was done, with all of the vows completed, it could not be undone. You were ed forever until death. If your chosen mate died, you would remain alone, forever, unable to love another.” What kind of a choice or gift was that, I thought? Aunt Sarah then lifted her head. I noticed she had tears in her eyes, but she was

smiling at me. “Are you alright?” I asked. “Yes”, she said, “I talk of the legends and I David. He was such a believer and he knew we would remain in each other’s hearts, forever”. It took me a moment but then I understood. “So is that why you are still alone?” I asked. “Did you choose forever?” “Yes”, Aunt Sarah said, “I chose to love him forever. I love him today as I loved him all those years ago, no regrets and nothing will ever change that for me.” I smiled at Aunt Sarah and my heart was warm inside. Aunt Sarah’s ion for her heritage was irable. I did not know if given her place in life if I would not try to move on from David, and yet, she knew it as the only place she could be happy. Aunt Sarah had come such a long way from those sad times when she first moved away after David’s death. She obviously had found a safe and happy place to exist and her heart remained full with love. She was at peace in her life as well as in her heart. She was a truly beautiful person and I felt so lucky to have her in my life.

Going Home

The next day when I woke up, Aunt Sarah told me that Mum had phoned and that she was travelling up today and going to take me home the following day. As a result, Aunt Sarah and I decided to prepare a special dinner for Mum as she was coming to spend a night at the beach house with us. Aunt Sarah and I looked through some old recipes that Mum had liked as a child, things that my grandmother had cooked for Mum when she was a girl. The strangest thing was that I was beginning to get excited about the idea of going home. When Mum arrived, dinner was simmering in the pot on the stove. Aunt Sarah and I had prepared cabbage rolls and made some fresh bread. So after Mum settled in, even though the smell of dinner was drifting through the house and I could barely wait to eat, we decided to have a long walk on the beach and a swim before we came home to eat. I had never eaten cabbage rolls before, but they were fantastic. I wondered why Mum had never made them for us as she was always cooking. As we all continued to eat, Mum told Aunt Sarah that this kind of food reminded her of their Mum. Aunt Sarah and Mum both stopped eating and held each other’s hands. It was then that I realised how much they both must miss not having their mum in their lives. As I closed my eyes, I thought about how very special I was to have a mum who was fabulous, who was there for me no matter what, without any limitations. So as I continued to eat my cabbage rolls I decided that I would not complain to Mum about the fact that we had never eaten them before. Instead, I made a mental note to myself to prepare them as a treat sometime in the future for Mum and Aunt Sarah. I also realised how lucky I was to have both of them in my life. Saying goodbye and thank you to Aunt Sarah the next day was an impossible task and I knew it. I could never say goodbye to her, so I focused on the thank you. I woke up early, made fresh pancakes for everyone, and placed flowers and a card that I had made on the table in Aunt Sarah’s kitchen. When I came to the table, Mum and Aunt Sarah were reading my card. They were both smiling and so I imagined that the words I had put to paper were sufficient to thank Aunt

Sarah for all she had done. I hugged Mum and then Aunt Sarah ed in. After breakfast we indulged in one quick swim before we packed the car to travel home. Going home was filled with many fears. Of course they all centred on Nick and Phoebe. As we drove Mum did not force the conversation, but I was so pleased to see her that I found that I had plenty to say. As we laughed and sang, the journey duration ed quickly and our road trip came to an end. When we pulled up in the driveway Nick was there. I was shocked to see him so quickly and I was not prepared for it. I turned to Mum and she smiled at me. “What” I asked “is Nick doing here?” Mum explained that Nick had been asking for ages when I was coming home, and she had no reason not to say today. I think that she was just as surprised as I was to find him waiting on our front steps. When I got out of the car Nick walked up to me cautiously. “Can I come in?” Nick asked me. “Ok” I replied. What could I say, I missed him so much but I hadn’t really been honest with myself about it yet and here he was. Nick carried my suitcase to my room and we sat down. There was an awkward silence. I hated these moments and I knew that Phoebe would know the right things to say if she was here, but I didn’t. Nick spoke first. “Livie”, Nick said, “the last time we spoke was in this room. I obviously said all the wrong things that afternoon and for that I apologise. I don’t know how things got so messed up between us but I know that I don’t want that to happen again. I’m so, so sorry”. I looked up at Nick’s face. There he was again, that little boy, those watery eyes and that heart that I have always loved. I wanted to dive onto him and hold him, but there was Phoebe to consider. I did not want to mess things up this time, I had to be smart. “I’m sorry too”, I finally said. “I clearly made things very awkward for you and Phoebe and I love you both so much that I would never want to do that, not to either of you. By the way, where is Phoebe?” I asked.

Nick was very quiet. He took a deep breath and then spoke to me. While he did he held my hand. I sat and listened and tears came to my eyes. “When you have a best friend,” he said, “you cannot live without them and you cannot hurt them.” As Nick continued to speak, it appeared that Phoebe had realised her mistake in pushing her relationship with him. Apparently Phoebe came to see him a couple of weeks after I left for Aunt Sarah’s and told him about her mistake. Phoebe hoped that he was not hurt by her decision, but that she had to maintain her friendship with me above all else, as without it she was nothing. Phoebe told Nick she was empty without me in her life and in understanding that, she realised her foolish quest for him was purely based on physical attraction only. But without her heart being happy, she had nothing and she could not believe that she had lost herself so badly. “So where is Phoebe now?” I asked, “I need to see her”. Nick told me that Phoebe had been accepted into a summer camp for surfing. Phoebe had always loved surfing, we all did, but she was a natural athlete and was spotted some months ago by a coach. I knew that Phoebe had received the letter of invitation in the mail but I was unaware of her reply. “Once Phoebe found that you were gone, and I was not the light of her life, she knew surfing was the best option for her over the summer break. She is meant to be coming home in about a week, just before school goes back”, Nick continued. Well that was so Phoebe, she was a naturally talented sportsperson but she never rubbed it in your face. “Can we her by phone?” I asked Nick. He thought so. He had not bothered her but he was sure that I could. “Do you want me to go so you can talk to her?” he asked. I nodded. I needed to speak to her urgently, privately, girl talk, I needed to know that we were ok. Nick went home. I wanted to say so many things to him, but sorting things out with Phoebe had to come first. She was away and alone and I knew how strange that was for her. I rang Phoebe’s mum and got the number of her surf school. When I rang, I was given a direct line to call Phoebe in her room. I hung up and rang Phoebe straight away. The phone rang twice and then Phoebe answered. Again I was silent.

“Hello, hello, who is this?” Phoebe asked. I finally found my voice and spoke. “Phoebe is that you?” I queried. Then I started to cry and Phoebe went quiet. I then heard Phoebe crying. “Are you ok?” I asked her. “I am so glad to hear from you,” she replied, “I’m crying happy tears, best friend tears” and then I knew we were ok. Later that night Nick returned. I met him at the door and he asked me if I wanted to walk with him. It was a lovely night, peaceful and warm and the stars were bright. It was a perfect night for walking and so I told Mum that we were going out. Mum was smiling at me again. I think she saw that her girl had come home and she was happy. I guess she was right. I smiled back and walked out the door with Nick. When we left my house, Nick took my hand into his. He had never done this before and I felt a shiver run down my body as he touched me. He must have felt me move and asked if I was cold, but I knew I wasn’t. My heart was pounding and I felt almost dizzy. My mind was racing and I thought to myself, so this is it, this is my problem, I am in love with Nick. My heart knew it, my body knew it and yet I hadn’t seen it until now. How could I have been so blind to it all? We seemed to walk for ages saying nothing. It didn’t matter though, as my mind was talking to me the whole time and Nick could not have gotten a word in if he tried. By the time we were around the corner from home, Nick stopped. He turned to me and held both my hands in his. My heart was pounding so loudly I felt embarrassed that he might be able to hear it. Nick did not mention it, but instead he looked into my eyes and said “I know you care for me Livie, but what now? Phoebe comes home at the end of the week and what do we all do from here? If you look into your heart, you will find me there, but so is Phoebe, what do you want to do? I don’t want to upset you again but I don’t want to be your friend anymore. I want you to be my girlfriend. Not a pretend girlfriend but a real one. This is the right thing for us … Please say something Livie, anything?” Why was I always the one to say nothing? When I felt overwhelmed it was my safety valve to shut down. My heart was thumping in my chest, my hands were shaking and I searched desperately for a voice inside. When I found it I whispered “Nick, I know you are right. I was blind not to see it before, not to

understand my emotions, but now I do. I can no more live without you than I can Phoebe, but you have my heart and everything within me tells me that I want to be yours”. Nick picked me up and twirled me around. His face was filled with joy. I put my head back and it felt like I was flying. When he put me down my head was dizzy with emotion and I leant against a tree. Nick came up to me and held my face in his hands. I looked into his eyes and before I knew it he was kissing me gently on my lips. It was an amazing moment, and when my head stopped spinning I knew that he would be my only love. Nick and I spent some time walking after the emotion of the moment settled down. I think we were both relieved that at least one part of this mess had been sorted out. The next issue would be Phoebe. Would Nick and I being together create the same problems that had occurred with us all last term at school? I hoped not. That night, as I tossed restlessly in my bed, I went through everything in my mind. I needed to be certain how I would explain things to Phoebe and ensure that we would remain best friends, even with Nick in our lives. When I was honest with myself, Nick had always been in my life in this way, I just never realised the meaning of it all before. Nick clearly knew what was happening, that things were changing. He always saw things before I did. Nick knew the pain that was ahead when he had to move away; he predicted the difficulties in being Phoebe’s boyfriend; and he never shied away from his ission of his feelings towards me. I seemed to be much slower at figuring these things out, but after my walk with Nick, I felt like for the first time I could see things more clearly.

Surfer Girl

By the time Phoebe arrived home, Nick and I were inseparable. I asked Nick to stay at home while I waited at Phoebe’s place for her to arrive back from camp. As soon as she drove in my face lit up with excitement. The next minute I was being consumed by Phoebe who appeared to have jumped from the car to me in one large leap. We were on the ground laughing and dusting ourselves off, when I noticed that wild look in her eyes. “Phoebe”, I said, “what’s the news?” Phoebe laughed so hard that she started to cry. “How I missed having you in my world, knowing my every move before I even take it”, she said. “So, what’s going on?” I queried. Phoebe stood up, pulling me up by the hand as she did so. She walked back over to the car and pulled out her bag, opened a pocket and pulled out some paperwork and gave it to me. “Read it”, she said proudly. The first thing I saw was the word ‘Contract’. I looked at Phoebe who was grinning at me like a puppy. I kept on reading and understood that the words seemed to say that she was signed up, as an employee of some sort, with a surfing group for two years. I gave Phoebe my best impersonation of her “oh my God” look with my hands in the air and we both laughed. “Can you believe it?” Phoebe said. “I am now an official contracted surfer! They pay for me to travel to and enter all the surfing competitions around the country for the next two years. I get plenty of gear, boards and loads of coaching too, and they try not to have me miss too much school,” Phoebe added as she rolled her eyes. I felt so proud of Phoebe. I always knew she was a fabulous surfer and she deserved this kind of opportunity. She was the bravest person I knew and had such untapped natural ability. Finally she had been spotted and now she was a real life surfer girl, on contract! I gave her the biggest hug and tears filled my

eyes. She was an extension of me in so many ways, she was the one who should get these opportunities as she was brave enough to take the chances, and I was thrilled for her. “So when do you start and how does it all work?” I asked. “You know this means that you have to teach me all the tricks of the trade you know.” Phoebe laughed and pulled me into her room. “Of course I will,” she said. We lay on our backs on her bed and she gave me all the information she had to offer thus far. She was going to be busy, but she knew it was an opportunity she could not miss. At the end of it all she sat up and said, “So what about you and Nick?” I guess I should not have been so surprised. Of course she would have known that Nick and I had feelings for each other, it was probably really obvious to her as well. I took a deep breath and confessed to her my true feelings for Nick. I felt somehow like I had betrayed her and I was unsure how much to say. Phoebe just held me and said it was ok. She said she knew it was how it was and that she did not feel in any way that it changed things for us. She explained that to her Nick and I were always a couple, she just stole him for a while to play with and realised that she had messed things up. Phoebe was truly sorry but I had already forgiven her. I told Phoebe not to apologise anymore, I felt that I had behaved very childishly and was awfully embarrassed about it. At that point we laughed at each other and agreed we had both been crazy and now we were better, all things fixed and back on track, “And anyway” Phoebe said, “I have a new boyfriend now.” I threw my head back and laughed, of course Phoebe did! Needless to say she had a new beau already; it was totally her style. “I bet he is some gorgeous surfer dude right?” I asked. “Of course”, said Phoebe and we were all ok again. That night I stayed over a Phoebe’s house. It felt like we hadn’t done that for ages and it was so much fun to just relax and be ourselves again. I think we had both forgotten how to be the best friends and girls that we still were. We watched a movie, ate some popcorn and relaxed together like we used to do. I could not believe my luck that things could be so good again between us. I guessed that

was the kind of friendship best friends had, but I reminded myself to never forget how special it was. I watched Phoebe that night and realised she really was the only person outside of my family who knew me this way. After the months that we had spent not talking to each other, I think we were both relieved to just get on with it and be best friends again. Phoebe’s parents came into Phoebe’s room before we went to sleep and smiled at us. I guess our stupidity had affected those around us more than we had understood. Late that night, Phoebe and I made a promise to never let anything get between us again. It was a sensible idea, and although we didn’t mean for it to happen this time, we both thought that we must be more careful in future. That night I slept like a baby. When I woke up the next morning it was like I had woken from a bad dream and I was finally alive and happy again. That day, Phoebe and I went to the beach and mucked around. Phoebe showed me all her new moves on her board. I was amazed. She had really learnt a lot over the break and I begged her to explain some of her new tricks to me. We surfed together for hours and I could tell from watching Phoebe in the surf that she was going to be famous. As she caught her next wave I thought to myself, My best friend is going to be a champion! Later that afternoon we sat on the beach together and just chatted. “Do you think you are going to be famous?” I asked Phoebe. “I hope so”, she said. “What do you think?” I smiled at her and said “I think you are definitely going to be famous Phoebe, I can feel it. I am going to be so proud of you!” Phoebe pushed me over in the sand and laughed at me, “as if” she said. “No,” I said “I am serious, I was watching you today and I just feel it Phoebe, you are amazing.” Phoebe laughed at me. “Well I hope so”, she said, “I am training hard enough, I really hope so”. I saw people watching Phoebe in the surf today. They noticed she was good. I felt a bit embarrassed as they may have expected me to be the same. Sure I could surf, I was alright at it too, but there was a big difference between amazing and me.

That night we stayed at my house. Nick did not come over and I was pleased that he was giving me and Phoebe some girl time. Mum and Dad seemed really pleased to see us back to our old selves again. At dinner time when Mum was serving up, she came behind me and squeezed me affectionately on the shoulder. When I turned to look at her, she smiled at me and I smiled back. I guess we were all relieved to see things back to normal. I told Mum and Dad at dinner that I believed Phoebe was going to be a famous surfer. Dad raised his eyebrows at me and said, “Olivia, you are always the last one to figure these things out.” Everyone laughed and we kept on eating. The next morning Phoebe woke up early. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I have to train. I slept in yesterday and I can’t do that again. I’ll see you later,” Phoebe called over. “Do you want me to come?” I queried. “Sorry,” she said, “I have to train hard. I’ll do some easy stuff with you later. Being famous means you have to work hard.” Phoebe gave me a pose, laughed and left. I guess she was right. She was under contract now and she had to work hard to maintain it, much harder than I realised. I rolled over and went back to sleep. It was like I had months of sleep that I had missed out on and I was going to make up for it now. I closed my eyes and dreamt about Phoebe. She was surfing, I was watching her and Nick was there. We were cheering for her and it felt great to be there for her. I watched her come down the wave and then, oh, I woke up. How annoying I thought, I wanted to see her finish that wave. I opened my eyes and Nick was there. He was lying on my bed next to me. It gave me such a fright. “How long have you been here?” I asked. “Only a few hours”, he replied. “I told your parents I’d keep an eye on you since you were still sleeping and they had to go out”. “What time is it?” I asked. Nick looked at his watch, “11.30am”, he said. “Oh, I really have slept in”, I mumbled. “Where’s Phoebe?” Nick asked. “Training. She left early this morning and said

she had to train hard. I offered to go but she implied that I would slow her down and I’m sure she’s right. Do you think she is going to be famous one day, Nick?” “Probably”, he said, “it wouldn’t surprise me”. I hugged him and realised I needed to freshen up. I jumped out of bed, went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth, tidied my hair and came back out. When Nick saw me he laughed. “What’s so funny?” I said. “Do you think what you look like makes a difference to me?” he asked. “I don’t know,” I said, “but it certainly makes a difference to me!” He laughed again, “That’s why I’m so crazy about you. When you don’t make any sense to anyone else, you still make sense to me.”

Acceptance

The following year at school seemed to be something that belonged to someone else. School had become a special place that I enjoyed existing in. Nick and I were together most of the time while Phoebe, although she was away surfing a lot, was very happy. When Phoebe was surfing she was very competitive as well as driving all the boys known to her crazy. Phoebe said to me that she was not really interested in devoting herself to anyone at the moment and informed me that she had all her life to find ‘The One’ and she wanted to make sure she got it right. Nick and I travelled to watch Phoebe compete whenever the competitions were close to home. When we were there watching, Phoebe said it was like she had her family around her. She was right; we were family to each other. By this time Nick and I were officially a couple and we were not hiding under the pretence of an agreed relationship with anyone for convenience anymore. Nick’s dad and my parents seemed very happy with us being together and that both of us were happy. This made us happy too. When Nick and I were not watching Phoebe compete, we would walk for hours along the beach or around our neighbourhood. We cared deeply about each other, but we were not the kind of couple that pushed our intense feelings onto others. I felt exhilarated just by his presence, holding his hand or when he touched me on my cheek. Nick would play with my hair and stroke my face and take me to another world when I closed my eyes. I was in no rush to become too serious with Nick and he certainly did not push me to be either. We shared our own ion that we created between us in the most simplest of things and we were not spoiling that in any way. We found ourselves in a warm, happy place and after the year we had just survived, it was a nice place to be. By the following summer break, Phoebe was away surfing nearly all the time. We had planned to spend New Year’s Day together but Phoebe had to leave. On our last day together, Phoebe and I spent the day shopping, laughing and eating out. Nick kept himself occupied elsewhere realising that our “girl time” was

limited until Phoebe returned for first semester to begin. By the time Phoebe was getting in the car to leave, we both had tears in our eyes knowing it would be about a month before she would be back home. I gave Phoebe strict instructions not to break too many hearts and she just laughed at me. It was inevitable that she would be breaking someone’s heart again soon. The next day, Nick and I were planning how to spend the holidays together when Aunt Sarah rang. We had not chatted for a while and she was keen to find out how I was doing. When I told her that Phoebe was away and things were going well with Nick she was pleased. Aunt Sarah then asked if Nick and I would like to come to the beach house for the rest of the holidays. After talking to our parents and reaching an agreement on all sorts of arrangements, it was agreed by all that we could go. Mum jumped at the chance to drive us to Aunt Sarah’s and I began to understand how important their time together was. When Mum was driving us out to the beach house she seemed so happy. Each time I saw her like this I had to remind myself how hard it must be for her to live apart from a sister she felt so close to. Nick was excited too as he had never met Aunt Sarah before and had heard so many good things about her and the beach house. When we arrived Aunt Sarah was glowing. Obviously Mum’s presence and my happiness agreed with her. She and Mum chatted all night before finally going to sleep in the early hours. I took Nick on a long walk on the beach to show him around and to give them some privacy. The day after Mum left, Nick and I went to the beach. We walked for miles chatting, looking in the rock pools and eating ice cream. Aunt Sarah lit candles on the veranda in the evening and we ate dinner listening to the waves. It was beautiful. I missed the peacefulness of Aunt Sarah’s home and I definitely understood why she loved living there. After dinner, Nick asked Aunt Sarah about David. I held my breath. No-one ever spoke of David because we knew of the pain it caused Aunt Sarah. I gave Nick one of those “what are you saying?” looks, but Aunt Sarah seemed ok with his question. She just sighed and smiled to herself. Her eyes shut for a moment and when she opened them she looked fondly at Nick. “You know,” she said, “you remind me of him so much. The way you seem to just understand Olivia; you do not question or argue with her, you just travel beside her, her true companion, friend and the owner of her heart. That is what

David was and will always be to me. Nothing makes me happier in the world than to see Olivia this way. We have always been very close. She is the closest thing I have to daughter and in some ways you have a tough job. You have to the test of her mother and me, but while you make her this happy and care for her in this way, you the test with flying colours. I am so glad you both came here to stay with me. Don’t ever be afraid to mention David. I have nothing but beautiful memories of him and our time together and I can only hope that you and Olivia are lucky enough to have the same in your lives.” The rest of the summer break was spent with Nick and I walking, swimming and talking with Aunt Sarah. She was such an inspiration to me. I felt inspired by her ion and love of life. I learnt that Aunt Sarah had remained focused for herself and for her family, even though her future had died with David. Aunt Sarah and Mum had an intense bond and this was also very special to me. It was like I had two beautiful and wise women looking over me, protecting me and guiding me on life’s journey. I couldn’t help but notice that Nick was completely at home with our family spirit. I wondered whether my mother and Aunt Sarah provided him with the grounding that was missing in his world. His family had a real love for each other, but it came in a very individual way. There was no group feeling of within Nick’s family. I knew this was the case and I was so pleased that he was able to gain from my family what he was unable to get from his own. Seeing Nick happy made me happy and I hoped that we would stay this way forever.

The Choice

With the start of another school year, we all became excited. This year we were all going to be turning sixteen. It was Nick’s birthday first, then Phoebe’s and then mine. It seemed fitting that I was the youngest as no matter how much we seemed to be growing up, I still remained the most cautious of us all. Our differences were the most obvious when we talked. Phoebe being spontaneous always spoke first and as a consequence, she was often left with awkward situations as she did not think before speaking. At times, she unintentionally hurt people’s feelings but luckily for her, she was usually forgiven quickly. People understood what Phoebe was like and accepted her for it. Nick was usually the second one of us to speak but he liked to be sure of what he was saying and he did not like to offend. As for me, well, I only spoke when it was needed. I was a thinker, a plodder, but it worked for me. I was much wilder and spontaneous when I was younger, and my responses, if spoken, did not have to be correct. However, over the past few years I noticed some big changes in myself. As I entered my teens I became a little uncertain. When Nick had left me on my own, my thinking patterns and my physical responses had changed. My wild side had settled and my internal thoughts had taken over. Perhaps that’s what parents meant by “growing up”, but I was not entirely sure. All I knew was that I was not going to give anyone a verbal response until I was happy with what it was going to be. When Nick turned sixteen, his dad had family come to a gathering in his house. It was a nice informal party which Nick liked. It was a bit tense with Nick’s mum, her new boyfriend and his sister attending but it was not problematic. Nick still got along well with his mum and sister, but the new boyfriend was a bit of an unknown and we all felt awful for Nick’s dad who was still very much alone since their separation. Anyway with my family there as well as Phoebe and some friends from school, there were enough of us to ensure that a good time was had by all and Nick’s dad did not feel lonely. The good news of the night was that Nick’s mum had the sense not to stay too long. After the birthday cake had been cut she said her goodbyes to Nick and returned to the motel where she was staying with her boyfriend. Nick saw her

there the next day when he returned his sister to his mum who had stayed over at Nick’s house for the night. I was with Nick at the motel and I noticed how proud Nick’s mum was of her son. She commented on how much happier Nick was at his dad’s and winked at me. I smiled at Nick’s mum as I knew it was her way of saying that she approved of me; that was nice. When it came to Phoebe’s birthday, her family threw her a party at the beach. This was really Phoebe’s favourite place to be and the most appropriate for her birthday. We all wore beach clothes and we lit a bonfire. Phoebe’s parents cooked sausages and onions on the barbeque and we played beach games for hours. When we got too hot we all swam in the ocean and those of us who could, surfed. Phoebe and her brothers showed us all their style and we sat back and watched the show. Even though I loved to surf, watching them was something very exciting. I had begun teaching Nick to surf again as he had spent years away from the beach when he lived with his mum. He was getting better and learning to relax more in the ocean. All in all Phoebe had a fantastic day. I was so pleased that Phoebe’s family had put in so much effort to make it the kind of party Phoebe would enjoy. She was our surfing princess! About a week after Phoebe’s party, I got home from school to find a message on our home phone to call Aunt Sarah. No-one else was home so I called her. When Aunt Sarah answered the phone she said, “Thank goodness it is you, I have to speak to you in person and I am coming to see you tomorrow. Please let your mum know that I am coming and to call me as soon as she gets in.” I asked if Aunt Sarah was ok, and she said that she was. She told me not to worry and she would see me tomorrow. When Mum came home I told her about Aunt Sarah. She then went up to her room and shut the door. I knew she was on the phone. When she finally came out, I asked Mum if everything was ok. She looked a bit shocked after the call and I became worried. Mum cleared her throat and said she was fine. She told me not to worry but I did. I hoped that Aunt Sarah was not sick or in trouble in anyway. But why did she need to talk to me specifically? Aunt Sarah must have gotten up early to drive the next day as she had arrived before lunchtime. I knew this as I didn’t go to school. I stayed home with Mum, who seemed very worried. I told Nick and Phoebe that Aunt Sarah was coming

and something was up, so they went off to school without me which was unusual. When Aunt Sarah got out of her car, she looked like Mum, worried, nervous and uncertain. By the time she got inside I couldn’t stand it anymore and I ran up and hugged her whilst asking, “Is everything ok?” Aunt Sarah sat down in the kitchen. Mum got us all a glass of water and we sat down too. Then Mum began to speak. “You know after Brooke was born, your father and I tried immediately for another child. After about twelve months of trying to fall pregnant the doctor told me something was wrong. Your father and I both had some tests to see if we could fix the problem. Your father’s tests were fine, but mine showed some problems with my eggs and this was the reason I wasn’t falling pregnant again. I was broken-hearted and I could not face your dad and speak to him about it, so I went for a break with your Aunt Sarah. I packed a bag for myself and Brooke and left a note for your dad to say I was staying with Aunt Sarah’s for a while. After a few days of crying, Aunt Sarah asked me if I would like to try to fall pregnant using one of her eggs. At this time David had ed and Aunt Sarah being unable to have children of her own was happy to help out. I rang my doctor and asked him about it. After much discussion the doctor informed me that we could try, but there were no guarantees. When I returned home with Brooke, your Aunt Sarah came with us. We had several appointments with doctors and in the end one of the doctors took one of Aunt Sarah’s eggs and fertilized it with dad’s sperm. Then the fertilized egg was then placed into me and it worked! When you were born we all held our breath, hoping that everything had worked out well. When the doctors said you were fine we were all delighted. We have always felt so very special about your creation; in fact, it is still special to all of us.” I sat very still for what seemed a long time. My mind was working overtime and of course my language skills failed me. Ok, I was thinking, I came from Mum, but I was made by Aunt Sarah and Dad. Finally I spoke and said, “Oh, ok.” Not much I know but I didn’t know what to say. I wasn’t upset, just surprised, as of course I had no idea that all this had gone on. “So is this why you take such good care of me Aunt Sarah?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “I would do that anyway. You and Brooke are very important to me.” “So does this make you my mother?” I asked. “No” Aunt Sarah replied strongly. “Biologically you could say that I am, but your mum carried you, gave birth to you and raised you and we have always considered and expected that she was always your mother.” Phew, I thought, that would be too confusing. “So are you ok?” Mum asked me. “Sure,” I told her, “I adore you both and I cannot believe you did so much to have me. I feel very special.” “Yes you are,” they both said, and we all smiled and hugged each other. “Ok, so you have told me the news,” I said, “but you sounded in such a panic Aunt Sarah, like something was wrong, is there something else?” They looked at each other and sighed. “Yes,” Aunt Sarah said, “there is something else. Do you when you came to stay with me a couple of summers ago and I told you about our heritage?” “Yes,” I said. “What is the problem?” “Well,” Aunt Sarah continued, “our mother was a direct descendant of the Greek Goddess Aphrodite. She was the goddess of love, beauty and fertility. Some of our descendants on the female side have found over the years that they have been able to develop some of their mythical traits. When your mum and I were young, the female of the family were tested to see if we were able to use such powers. Your mum did not display them but I did. So when I turned sixteen, I was given the opportunity to develop them. It was a choice I had to make on the day of my sixteenth birthday and I made the choice to pursue these skills. When I fell in love with David I prepared my choice and made it forever. I used my powers to make our promise to each other forever. I never regretted that choice and I never will. David was and will always be my only love.” “What about Mum? Did you ever discuss this history with her?” I asked.

“No,” Aunt Sarah replied. “I never wanted to burden her with my choices. I wanted her life to be free from all of that.” “Ok”, I said, “so we come from a long line of goddesses, why the worried faces then? Wouldn’t that be something special?” “Well,” Aunt Sarah continued, “it is special, but with it comes tradition and responsibility. There is a council that governs our people and they keep track of who is ing on the heritage and who is not. Because I never had a child, it was expected that I would never on the heritage and yet here you are. The council of gods have ed me to advise that they will be coming on your sixteenth birthday to see if you want to make the choice. I imagine that they think you are my child and to them you are. You obviously have my powers even though I never tested you for it. I guess we should have known that you could have developed them, but I never really considered you mine. Normally we would have prepared you for such a decision over a period of years, but I have not. Even though I have told you something about our history, I did not tell you the information to prepare you for the council. I just wanted to give you some information about the heritage of our family and take your mind off your own problems.” “So what should I do?” I asked. “I’m not sure”, Aunt Sarah said. “I have heard that others have asked for more time to consider the choice if a child was not prepared. What would you like to do?” Of course I didn’t know. I was a thinker, a debater. I did not like to make important decisions in a hurry. “I have a lot to think about in a short period of time so I need to think,” I said. “Of course you do,” Mum said, and I got up to go to my room. As I walked away, I felt that somehow I had not said enough. I turned around and faced Mum and Aunt Sarah and said, “I love you both you know. I am not upset by what you have told me, only a bit shocked. Nothing changes for me about either of you in my heart, and I love you both very much. In a way, I feel very special that the two of you went to so much trouble to create me and for that I say thanks. Don’t worry, I will decide and I will figure this out.” With that they were both smiling and I knew I had settled their minds for the time being and with that said, I went to my room to think.

As I sat in my room my mind was racing. I thought about Aunt Sarah’s life. She made the choice, she found the one - David. She wanted to guarantee their destiny so she made the choice to provide them with her special gift. It was a one-off opportunity and she chose to take it. But now, even though she is without him, Aunt Sarah does not feel alone although she has no-one in her life anymore to share her days with, no children to raise and no extension of herself except for me and that was clearly not planned. Do I want the burden of the choice? I wasn’t sure. It was strange that the choice was made at such a young age, but I guess they want you to choose your path. You either carry on the tradition of your heritage or remain without your power, forever.

The Meeting

On the day of my sixteenth birthday I was meant to be at school, but Mum had arranged for me to have the day off. Aunt Sarah was staying with us and she was uneasy at breakfast. She understood what was before me today and she did not want to influence me in any way. We had discussed previously and agreed that we would meet tonight to celebrate my birthday. Dad was working early and would be home later on in the evening and Brooke was coming home to see me as well. This also suited Nick and Phoebe who were at school anyway. We had arranged my actual sixteenth birthday party for the following weekend to ensure that my day was free with whatever was needed of me at the council meeting during the day. The note Aunt Sarah had received from the council told us that we were to meet them in the old abandoned wharf at ten in the morning. The note made it very clear that we were to attend alone as outsiders were forbidden. This meant that only Aunt Sarah and I were allowed to attend and I felt quite uneasy about going without Mum. Strangely, Mum understood the rules. She knew that this had never been her place and she had never felt like she had missed out. As she said to me, she felt she had married the love of her life and had given birth to two lovely daughters so what more could she have asked for? Mum explained to me that she felt a freedom at not having to decide her fate for herself and that things had worked out perfectly on their own. Mum’s words were playing on my mind today. I understood what she was saying to me and that she was very happy with her choices in life. On the other hand it was clear that Mum held no resentment towards Aunt Sarah for the different opportunities which had been provided to her. I certainly respected Mum for her understanding. At about nine thirty Aunt Sarah came to my room. She told me it was time to go and that Mum was waiting to see me. I went to see Mum and hugged her. As we let go I told her I loved her and hugged her again. Leaving Mum behind in this way was the hardest thing about the day for me. As much as Aunt Sarah had given me life, Mum had guided me through it and I was forever grateful for that. But now it was Aunt Sarah’s turn and Mum knew it. Mum held my hand and

told me to be strong and be true to my heart, and I promised her that I would. Aunt Sarah then took my hand as we left Mum behind. On the drive to the meeting Aunt Sarah and I were both very quiet. It was an unknown as to what lay ahead. As Aunt Sarah drove us to the old abandoned wharf in the car, I thought back over my discussions with Aunt Sarah leading up to this day. Aunt Sarah did not want to influence me in any way about my decision with the council, but needed to know what I wanted to enable her to my choice, whatever it was. It was only yesterday when I went to Aunt Sarah and told her I was unable to decide at this time. If I was forced into making a decision today it would have to be no, I did not want any regrets. Aunt Sarah then said very calmly that she would ask for more time. When we arrived at the old wharf, there was no obvious sign of activity. I didn’t know what I was expecting but it all looked very normal. As we walked towards the wharf, I noticed that all the windows were boarded up and when we made it to the front entrance, an older lady nodded at Aunt Sarah and let us in. Inside the old wharf was transformed into a meeting room. There was a very long table in the middle with at least thirty seats surrounding it. There were people standing in groups around the room, groups of people who appeared quite animated and pleased to see each other. The one thing that stood out instantly though was that every single person here was female. It wasn’t long before the meeting officially started. Everyone was asked to sit except for Aunt Sarah and I. When everyone was seated, Aunt Sarah’s name was called out and she walked forward to the person who was seated at the head of the table, leaving me standing to the side on my own. When Aunt Sarah made it to the head of the table, the lady speaking waved her hand towards a seat for Aunt Sarah to sit down on. My heart started to pound quickly and loudly. I felt nauseous, as it I was going to faint and felt my legs quivering. Then the same lady at the head of the table started to speak in a loud and businesslike voice to Aunt Sarah. “I am Melina; I am the chairperson of our council before you. I ask you where is the child … what is her name?” Aunt Sarah stood up and waved for me to come forward to where she sat, near Melina. I was frozen and could not move. Melina said, “Come forward child, we do not wish to harm you.” So I took a deep breath and started walking very slowly towards Aunt Sarah.

It seemed like a long walk and I felt very vulnerable by Aunt Sarah’s side, facing the council. “Sit down,” Melina instructed us. Then Melina spoke to everyone present and said the following: “We are here to meet as we normally do, at a time when a child who carries the heritage of the gods as we do, must make her choice. This is normally a special occasion, one that comes with much pride, preparation and celebration. Today I fear that this is not the case. I have had visions regarding this child. There is something about her which is different to the rest. Her aura is very strong, too strong for such a heritage.” The other females in the room started mumbling amongst themselves. I did not like the sound of what Melina was saying and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Melina then went on: “The other concern to us is that the child’s biological mother, who made her own choice some years ago, lost her husband prior to the conception of this child and as a result has broken her vows. Such a complicated scenario we have today, with many options before us. There will be those amongst you who will want to punish the one who has broken such a vow. Punishment, although rare, has happened before and has resulted in death. Death is never what anyone wants, but sometimes we are limited in our options.” Again there was much mumbling amongst those present in the room. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up on end and Aunt Sarah looked very shocked and pale. Melina continued: “There is also the issue of the child: she has not been prepared to make her choice today and we need to consider if time should be given to someone so poorly prepared. Furthermore, there is the issue, that none of you see, that relates to her aura. She is not as she seems. There is something more to this child that makes every decision we make here today all that more important. So we will hear from the mother and then from the child and then we will decide their fate. We must take our time and decide between life and death for both mother and child.” I watched Aunt Sarah get to her feet. She looked frightened. I guess the word “death” was the last word she heard, as it was a blur to me after hearing that too. As I watched Aunt Sarah, I was worried she was not going to be able to speak

and everyone was waiting so I stood up. I saw the shocked faces of those in front of me. It was clearly not my time to speak but I felt it was needed. Prior to this moment, Aunt Sarah had always been strong, the one who had nurtured and cared for me, even up to this morning when she gave me the courage to come here. But now it was clear that it was my turn to protect her and to give her the same help that she has always given to me. So I stood up, held Aunt Sarah’s hand in mine and I spoke: “Melina, council and Aunt Sarah, I come before you today as prepared as I can be. I found out about my heritage two months ago and since then I have been informed of the choice that would be placed before me today. Until this moment I was certain that I would be asking for more time. I was sure that this was needed so I could consider the correct path for me. But now, seeing all of you here and the heritage that you represent, I know that the path for me is to accept the choice and rejoice in the gift that has come my way. What I ask of you however is time, time not to make the decision as the decision has been made, but time to proceed with my choice, as I have not had the years that others before me have had to make a decision. I have not chosen a partner or tested his suitability. So to avoid any further mistakes and embarrassment to you all, I ask that you afford me the time to make the right choice for all of us.” I stopped to take a breath and Melina stood up. “So you think you want the power, but you have not prepared a mate? It sounds like you are undecided child?” “No,” I replied quickly, “I am not undecided but unprepared. I am just asking for time to select my partner and that is all. My mind is clear that I wish to embrace my heritage as my Aunt has done before me. I am proud of who I am, what has gone on before me and what may lie ahead. I am very clear in my decision.” It was then that I ed Aunt Sarah and her possible demise, so I continued. “I also ask that you consider options for my Aunt. She did not break her vows. She has not loved any other but her husband David all of her life. She has lived as a widow since his death. I was not conceived out of her love for another man, but out of a sister’s pain and desire for a child. There was nothing sinister in my creation, just the love of sisters and family. Surely you understand that due to Aunt Sarah’s heritage and descendants from Aphrodite, she can do nothing but love her family and give of herself to them. This love does not begin

and end with David, but exists with her only sister, my mother, as well. This has to be understood as not a breaking of her vow, but the extension of the heritage that she has chosen to embrace. I beg of you not to punish her. She has not raised me as her own; she never considered this fate for me; and I was not created for her own joy, but to ease her sister’s pain.” The council were silent. No-one spoke a word. Aunt Sarah squeezed my hand which I took as a sign to sit. I felt her request but I didn’t want to sit, I had to stand. I had to show the council that I was strong and that I was right in my thinking. It was as if I knew that if I demonstrated weakness, they would not my request. So I released Aunt Sarah hand from my grip and stood firmly. I felt different, powerful and I was not frightened to speak. It was as if the old me was back and I was prepared to fight. Much mumbling consumed the room. I tried to figure out what emotion existed but I couldn’t. I remained standing even though considerable time had ed. When things quietened down, Melina stood up again and said: “Who is your father?” I wondered why this was at all relevant. I looked at Aunt Sarah and she shrugged her shoulders at me. “Why do we speak of him?” I asked. Melina looked furious. “Who is your father?” she said again in a roar. I did not quite understand my internal response but I did not want to answer the question. Surely too many of my family were already in trouble here without dragging anyone else into this. I was not going to let this council tear us all apart and so I said, “My father is the husband of my mother, Aunt Sarah’s sister.” There was some further murmuring around the table. People were shrugging their shoulders and questioning each other. No-one seemed to know of my father and I took that as a good thing. Melina stood up again and continued to speak. It felt like I had been standing there for hours when Melina announced to everyone: “My friends, it appears that there is a lot to consider here. The child wants time, not to make her choice as she is clear with that, but time to process her vows. I do not consider this inappropriate given her circumstances. I say that she be

provided with two years from today to formalise her vows. If this is not done, then she is breaking her promise to us, the council. If that promise is broken, the penalty will be the death of her Aunt Sarah. This death will be held on the child’s eighteenth birthday. It will be death by burning, if the vows of the child are not followed. If the vows are followed in time, then Sarah’s life will be spared and the pleas of the child will be accepted by us today.” The council nodded in agreement. I was still standing so I decided it was safe now to sit down. As I sat, Aunt Sarah became the protector once more and took hold of my hand. She remained holding it while she walked me over to a bed which was covered in black velvet and red rose petals. The bed was high, like an altar, and there were small steps leading up to it. Aunt Sarah asked me to walk up and lie on the bed while I was blessed by the council for making my choice. I climbed up the little stairs, trying not to fall. When I lay down on the velvet, the scent of the roses was overpowering, it was beautiful. I closed my eyes and drifted away to safety. In my mind I was with Nick. He was smiling at me and giving me that look with his eyes that made me feel that everything was ok. One by one I felt lines being drawn on my forehead. I could hear people moving about slowly. I heard chanting, but I kept my eyes closed and my mind safely with Nick. When all the noise and chanting had finished I felt Aunt Sarah hold my hand again. I took this as a sign that it was safe to open my eyes. Aunt Sarah was there beside me. “They’re leaving,” she said, “it’s nearly over just lie there quietly until they have all gone.” So I stayed still, lying on the bed. The scent of the roses felt like a mystical wave of peace that was protecting me. I had embraced my heritage and Aunt Sarah was safe. I would make my vows in time and there would be no death or danger to anyone. I felt overwhelmed and relieved. When I got up it was just Aunt Sarah and I alone. She said it was safe to go and we walked to the car. Aunt Sarah drove me to the beach. I looked at my forehead in the rear vision mirror of Aunt Sarah’s car. There were lines of red drawn all over my face from the council. When we arrived at the beach, Aunt Sarah got a picnic basket out of the boot and we sat in a shady spot near the rocks together. Aunt Sarah had packed a blanket, some drinks and a heart-shaped cake. She put a heart-shaped candle in the blood red cake and then lit it. Aunt Sarah then spoke to me. “Close your eyes and let me speak Olivia, and

then you need to blow out the candle.” So I closed my eyes and she spoke, “To Olivia, to Aphrodite and the powers that have been ed from one to the other, may you use your powers wisely, make your vows with intelligence and carry your symbols of the sceptre, myrtle and dove with pride.” I looked up and Aunt Sarah’s eyes were shut. I blew out the candle and smiled. “Thank you Aunt Sarah, but how did you know what I would choose?” I said. She looked at me and smiled, “I imagine it has always been in your heart Olivia, but once we spent that summer at the beach together, I feared it was your destiny. All I could do was you and enable you to make your own decision, even though I knew it was inevitable.” “So why was everyone questioning Dad?” I asked. Aunt Sarah was quiet. “Do you know why they were asking about him?” I asked again. Aunt Sarah looked very seriously at me. “They are uncertain about you,” she said. “They can feel your aura and it is very strong. When you stood up and spoke instead of me today, it frightened them. They respected you for it, but it frightened them as well. Such intense power and strength is not naturally associated with the women of our heritage and yet it is within you. So they would have been wondering, where your aura and strength came from, and that is where your dad comes into it. Now they are curious about your dad: they do not know him, but he is clearly the genetic source of your inner strength and power. They wonder what his heritage is, and quite frankly, so do I!” I did not ask any more questions. I’d had enough of heritage for one day. It was time to enjoy the moment we had survived and go home. Mum would be worried by now. We had a drink, ate some cake and savoured the moment. Obviously in the back of our minds we were wondering how Dad fitted into this craziness, but this was not the time or the place to discuss it any further. After a swim which washed all the red lines from my face, we gathered all our things together and went home to Mum. Later that night after I had spent some time with Nick, I came home to find Mum and Aunt Sarah at the dinner table. They were deep in discussion. I knew they had to be talking about the events of the day. Even though I had done my best to

push the day out of my mind, I could not stop thinking about it either. In some ways it was a relief, to know that my decision had been made and in other respects, my history was once again a mystery, as I needed to know more about Dad’s heritage. I wasn’t sure how to bring this up with him or if he even knew about it, so I decided to do nothing at this time. Besides, it was nearly my birthday party and I was ready to have some fun.

Sixteen

Now that I am sixteen, it doesn’t seem too bad. At first I was dreading it with all of the choices I had, but now I am ok. All I know is that I want to be certain about what I decide for my future. I know I need the time to properly think about who will be my choice for a partner for the rest of my life. Finally it is time for my birthday party. How I would have loved to have had this party on the day, but I guess it does not really matter. My family and my friends are gathered together and we are going to have some fun. Nick and Phoebe were involved in the preparations at home with Mum and Aunt Sarah. Brooke took me out shopping for the day as she had not been able to guess what to buy me, and thought shopping together would be a great idea. I was glad to have this time with her. Now that she lives away from home it is nice to come together and catch up. I asked her if she would help me buy something to wear for tonight and she looked relieved, “I have been waiting to dress you up for years”, she said, and we both laughed. Brooke is an amazing shopper, no wonder she always looks so good. She knows what to buy, which stores to buy from, who has the best price and what styles suit my figure. By the end of the day I was over it, but she had found a great dress for me and the most gorgeous shoes. I was thrilled with the outcome and I think she was too. I was allowed to get ready for the party at Phoebe’s place, so Brooke dropped me there with my goodies and left Phoebe and I to get ready. Phoebe was bouncing with excitement. “It feels like I have been waiting for you to turn sixteen all year,” she said, rolling her eyes to show me the exaggerated pain of her waiting. “I am so sorry it took me so long Phoebe, but the date has always been completely out of my hands you know,” I replied. Phoebe laughed at me. “Yes, I know you are right; it’s just that I am overexcited and I need you to hurry up and get ready so we can get on with this.”

“Ok, ok”, I said, and took that as my cue to get into the shower. Once Phoebe and I were ready, Phoebe’s parents were waiting to drive us to my house. Phoebe’s parents were also invited to the party and were dressed up as well. They took photos of Phoebe and I before we left and gave us each a huge hug. Phoebe looked surprised when she saw me in my dress. She smiled and said, “Wow, look at you Livie you are gorgeous! Brooke always knew how to be beautiful and now she has become useful to you as a sister … we should have taken advantage of her talents years ago.” “Thanks,” I said, “I am taking it then that the shopping trip was a success?” Phoebe rolled her eyes at me and grabbed me by the hand to get into the car. When we arrived at my place I felt very excited. Butterflies fluttered around my tummy and I froze to the seat in the car. “Come on,” Phoebe said, “everyone will be waiting for you!” The front veranda was alive with coloured lanterns and it looked fabulous. There was a path leading around to the backyard that was lit by more coloured lanterns, so we followed the lights to the backyard. Over the past sixteen years I had spent endless hours playing in this backyard, but never had I imagined it like this. There was a giant canopy in the middle which was white. Underneath it were more lanterns which filled the giant open air room with vibrancy and colour. There were tables, chairs, flowers and all my friends and family waiting. Nick was standing at the front beside Mum, Dad, Brooke and Aunt Sarah. Everyone was smiling at me and I wondered if this was what it was like to be famous, like Phoebe. It was perfect. Everything I could have imagined and more. Mum and Dad came up first and hugged me. Dad said I looked “stunning” and he seemed surprised. “I guess my baby girl is growing up,” he said to Mum and she just winked at me. Mum held my hands in hers and then whispered in my ear, “You look beautiful Olivia.” Her words were so important to me. Mum always ired me for the person that I was and I loved that about her. I hugged her and she knew she was vital to my world, without her life would be impossible.

After I thanked Mum and Dad for the effort that they had gone to decorate the backyard, I sat down with Nick. I had not seen him all day and he had obviously been busy. “Do you love what we did with the house?” he said. “Yes, it is the most perfect party I could ever imagine,” I told him. I noticed then that he was just looking at me. Normally I didn’t notice him gazing at me. “What’s up?” I said. “You look so beautiful tonight. I never imagined you could be more beautiful than you are, but tonight you have simply outdone yourself!” I was surprised by Nick’s compliments. Even though we had loved each other ever since I could , I never really knew he thought of me as beautiful. I felt so overwhelmed when he said this: me, beautiful? Just then Phoebe came over. “Thank you so much Phoebe, how did you get all this done?” I asked. “You’re Mum, Dad and Aunt Sarah have had the whole thing planned for ages; we just did the work to help them bring it altogether. I am so pleased you like it! I was busting to show you all day,” she replied. How lucky I was to have a friend like Phoebe. Her vibrancy gave me an energy that was contagious and I loved it. I smiled at her and gave her a giant hug and I knew she was pleased. I then left Nick and Phoebe for a moment and went to see Brooke. We have such little time together these days that I wanted to make sure she knew how grateful I was for her efforts too. I thanked her for helping me with the shopping and I wanted her to know how much I ired her. Even though we are different, I do think she is fantastic. Brooke smiled and said she had enjoyed the day with me and I believed her. We have nothing in common except the fact that we are sisters and through Mum and Aunt Sarah, I could see the importance of such a bond. I then went to see Aunt Sarah. I was worried how she was feeling, watching my birthday as an aunty, but also having that special bond that we maintained. I hugged her and she smiled at me. “I care for you as if you were my own,” she said, “but I feel no sadness doing it from a distance. Don’t ever be sad for me Olivia”, she said.

It was like she could read my mind, I was an open book to her, and all my thoughts, my hopes and my dreams, and nothing was sacred from her. “I promise I won’t,” I said, “as long as you are here. Besides, I clearly have no privacy in my mind with you around anyway.” Aunt Sarah laughed at me and walked over to Mum. Between the two of them I have no hope of keeping anything to myself! I went back to Nick and sat down. By this time Phoebe had gathered our friends around and we began to have some dinner and enjoy the party. We laughed, danced and talked with each other for hours. At one point I could feel Mum watching me. I looked up and she and Dad were talking about me. They smiled and waved. They wanted to make sure I was happy but they did not interrupt the night. After the cake and speeches, we danced for a while longer. By about midnight everyone was saying their goodbyes. I spent what felt like an hour saying goodbye to everyone and thanking them for coming. I’d had a fabulous night and everyone made it so special. Phoebe, Nick and I had plenty of energy even after everyone was gone, so we did some tidying up before we slept. It did not take long for Phoebe to feel tired and Nick and I were starting to tire too. Phoebe was staying over, so she said goodnight to Nick and got ready for bed while I walked him home. Standing outside Nicks home, Nick pulled me close to him and held me. When he did this, there was a tingling sensation that ran all the way down my spine to my feet. He really did make me feel so special in his arms and I knew I would never want anyone else like I wanted him. Nick sat me down on the stairs leading up to his front veranda of his dad’s house. He held my face in his hands as he said to me: “I have always loved you Livie. I never want this to change. I have a secret to tell you. Tonight I didn’t see the girl of my dreams or the girl I see every day; tonight I saw the girl who holds my heart. You are my past and my future and I am so happy to have found you. How crazy it is that you are the girl who lives next door!” I didn’t know what to say. Of course I felt the same, but who could say it like Nick? I looked into his beautiful big brown eyes and smiled at him as I said:

“You are everything to me Nick. You have been the only one for me for as long as I can . If you will let me, I will hold your heart in mine and cherish it forever.” With that he kissed me for what seemed like a very long time. We then sat holding each other, as if we were one. When I got back to my room Phoebe was fast asleep. I guess I had been a while with Nick even though it felt like time had ed quickly. I suddenly felt thirsty so I got changed into my pyjamas and went to the fridge for a drink. In the kitchen I found Dad doing the same. “What are you doing up?” I said to him. “The same as you,” he laughed. “Your mum is asleep and I am still awake. I thought a cup of tea might settle me down. Do you want one?” “Sure” I replied. After Dad had made the tea he sat down with me. “Did you enjoy your night?” he asked. “I sure did. Thanks so much Dad, it was fabulous.” “You’re welcome,” he said. “We had a great time too. By the way, Nick seems very attached to you.” “Oh Dad, do we need to talk about this right now?” I asked. “Well,” he said, “I don’t normally see you two out together and it’s very noticeable to me that you are a couple.” “Sure,” I said, “we have been going out since I came home from Aunt Sarah’s a few years ago!” “Yes, I know that, but it seems more serious now.” “It is and it isn’t,” I said. “Yes we are together, yes we want to stay that way, but we don’t pressurise each other in to making it more than that, if that’s what you’re asking.” “I guess I was,” Dad replied. “I just want to know that things aren’t so serious

that you forget to enjoy being kids.” “I won’t, Dad,” and I hugged him. I went on to finish my tea and noticed Dad suddenly turn very quiet. “Dad, is there something wrong?” I asked. “No, I was just thinking,” he responded. “About what?” “Oh nothing really. All this talk just takes me back to being young myself and it makes me think of my family.” I was surprised. Dad never spoke of his family. In fact I had never heard Dad talk about them before and I had never met them. Mum had told Brooke and I when we were little that had Dad left his family after a row when he was young and that he had never gone back. Mum had made it very clear to Brooke and I never bring it up with him, so I never did. “Do you want to sit and talk to me,” he said, “about my family? I think you are old enough to know my history now.” “Sure,” I said. I was tired but Dad had never offered any of this information before so I knew I should sit and listen. Dad took another sip of his tea and then began: “When I was a boy, I grew up with my grandmother. She was an amazing lady who cared for me as if she was my mother. When I was old enough to understand, she told me that my mother had been raped by a group of boys when she was sixteen. She was so ashamed about the rape that she moved away to boarding school where she finished her education and also gave birth to me. She did not feel any bitterness towards me at all, but was only a young girl and was not in a position to raise me, so her mother, my grandmother, decided that she would raise me as her own. I did meet my mother as I was growing up, but I called her “sister” as I thought that’s what she was to me. Prior to me being old enough to understand that she was actually my mother, she died as a result of fall. There was always much speculation around the events that unfolded surrounding my mother’s fall, but in any event, her death was a tragedy for me, my grandmother and the rest of the family. Some of the family would look at me and I knew that they despised my presence. I knew the rape was not my fault, and yet in some way I felt very responsible for her death.

When I finished school I took a place at university away from the family. I remained living away from the family even after I had finished my education and I have never gone back. Although I was always very close to my grandmother, and I appreciated her caring for me, I felt that my being around the family was difficult for everyone. I was not wanted. I was the constant reminder of the tragic events which had occurred in my mother’s life and I knew that this was too much for them to face on a daily basis. My grandmother understood why I had to leave, but in some ways it broke her heart that she had lost both of us in the end. I have kept in with her all these years. I have sent her letters and photos of all of us. I am talking to you about this as I have heard that she is dying. She is of course very old and frail but I would like to visit her once more before she dies. Would you like to come with me, Olivia? I will need to leave very soon.” All of this information was a lot to take in. No wonder Dad didn’t speak about his family. I could not imagine the pain he must have within him. I guessed this is why he is a psychiatrist as he understands how to work through things. It did not take me long to stop thinking about myself and notice that Dad was waiting for my reply. “Sure, Dad, of course I will go with you. When do you need to leave?” “I’d like to go as soon as possible,” he said, “what have you got on?” “Only schoolwork, Dad, nothing I can’t take with me”. “Alright, I’ll speak to your mum in the morning. She knows I want to go but she doesn’t realise just yet that I want to take you with me”, he said. “You get yourself packed in the morning and say your goodbyes to Nick and Phoebe. I will sort out your mother. We will probably be gone for about a week. I will call my secretary and have my appointments cleared”. “Ok,” I said. Dad stopped and held me in a tight hug. “Thanks Olivia,” he said, “I feel that I need someone to come with me and somehow I feel it should be you.” “That’s ok, Dad. It’s no trouble.”

Dad

After talking to Dad, I just couldn’t sleep. So many things were going around my mind. I had no idea that Dad had had such a traumatic childhood; he was always so calm and together. He was obviously happy being raised by his grandmother, but he must have had and still have feelings of hurt never knowing his sister was his mother until after she died. It is clear that he feels like an outcast from his own family and none of this was ever his fault. I guessed this was why Dad was always so positive: he knows that life is not fair and that you have to make the best of even the worst situations. I couldn’t help but feel emotional about it. I would hate to have to walk away from my family as they are my sanctuary, but I guess that is not how it was for Dad and why it has always been so important to him to make us feel so wanted. I couldn’t feel more proud of my father than at that time. I cried some quiet tears for a boy raised in shame and realised how lucky we were not to have to cope with such tragedy. The next morning Phoebe woke me up. “Wake up sleepy head,” she said, “it’s getting late.” I looked at my bedside clock and realised she was right. Even though it was the weekend, Phoebe and I normally woke up early for a morning surf. “I can’t surf today,” I said, “I’m too tired.” Then I ed last night and Dad talking to me and I sat up straight away. “Changed your mind?” Phoebe said. “No, I just ed that I have to go away for a few days with Dad. He only told me last night before I went to bed. His grandmother is dying and he wants me to go with him to see her before she dies so we have to leave today. Sorry Phoebe, you’ll have to survive without me for a bit.” Phoebe looked at me surprised and sad, “I’m so sorry,” she said, “I didn’t even know that you knew your great-grandmother, will your grandmother be there as well?”

“My father’s mother, my grandmother, is dead, and I never got the chance to meet her. I’ve never met my great-grandmother either, but Dad says that we must go and see her immediately. Last night, I said I would go with him and keep him company; Mum is going to stay here and Brooke is going back to school.” “Do you want me to help you pack?” Phoebe said, “I don’t have to surf this morning if you need me.” “That would be nice. I’ll have to tell Nick that I’m going as well.” “I guess I will have to take care of Mr Lost and Lonesome while you are gone. He will be desperate without you!” Phoebe said, rolling her eyes at me and laughing. “I’ll keep in touch.” With that we started packing. Once I was showered, fed and packed, Dad took Phoebe home. While he was gone, I went next door to see Nick. “He’s still asleep,” Nick’s dad said, so I went upstairs to Nick’s bedroom to see him. When I got to the door I could see Nick sleeping. He really was gorgeous and he looked like a total dream when he was sleeping. I couldn’t figure out how I was so lucky to have him as mine, and thanked God for putting him next door to me, as I was sure it had given me some kind of advantage. I walked over quietly to Nick’s bed and sat down on it. I then started to stoke his face with my fingers. Nick’s skin was smooth, like satin and just touching him made me feel alive and warm inside. Nick’s dad walked past in the hallway and I jumped when I heard him. I did not want anyone seeing me like this with Nick, especially his dad. When I jumped, Nick woke up, looking at me in surprise. “What are you doing?” he said. “I needed to see you and I couldn’t wait for you to wake up,” I replied. He laughed and said, “Can’t get through the night without me now, eh?” I sighed and rolled my eyes at him. Nick sat up and hugged me and I held him tightly. “So really, why are you here so early? I thought you would have slept in after such a big night?”

“Yes, I normally would have done, but Dad needs to go away for a few days and he has asked me to travel with him. His great-grandmother is dying and he needs to see her one last time. We are leaving this morning.” “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” he said with a slight frown. “I only found out myself late last night after the party ended and Dad asked me to go with him so I said I would. He shouldn’t travel alone and I don’t want him to feel alone when he says goodbye to her. She raised him you know. Although they have not seen each other for years they have kept in touch by writing and he needs to see her and say his goodbyes.” Nick understood. He was someone who had some real insight into goodbyes. He said nothing more about the situation. He got out of bed, threw on some clothes, brushed his teeth and went downstairs. Nick’s dad was in the kitchen and asked Nick about breakfast. Nick said he would be back soon to eat and left with me. We went over to my place and into my room. We waited for Dad to return and call me to leave. While we waited we lay together on my bed. I noticed that the aroma of Nick and the ocean together in my room was perfect. We closed our eyes and must have fallen asleep in each other’s arms. “Wake up love birds,” I heard my Dad say. “It’s time to go Olivia, so say goodbye to Nick.” We sat up startled and then smirked at Dad’s comments. Nick walked me downstairs as Dad was putting my suitcase in the car. Mum came over and hugged me. “Look after your Dad” she said, “he’s going to need to lean on you Olivia.” I told Mum it would be ok, I knew I could be strong for Dad. He needed me now and after all these years of him protecting me and caring for me, I was more than willing to be there for him. I let go of Mum and then said my goodbyes to Nick. He looked at me and his adorable brown eyes were sad to see me go. Those eyes never lied. “Don’t worry,” I said, “I won’t be gone for long. You know you are my world and that I am always with you, even when we are apart.” Nick smiled. “You are Livie,” he said, “you have been beside me for as long as I can . You go and be the daughter your dad needs now, and when your job is done, come home to me.” I promised him I would and after a long and awkward hug in front of Mum and Dad, which I was sure Nick did on purpose to make me squirm, I left with Dad in the car.

“How long will it take, Dad?” I asked we drove away. “The drive I mean. How many hours away is she?” “We will be driving for a long time. If we get tired, we can sleep overnight somewhere on the way, let’s just see how we go.” “Do you mind if I have a sleep now?” I asked. “No, Olivia,” he laughed, “you still look exhausted from last night. You get some rest while I drive. I closed my eyes and fell fast asleep.” When I woke up it was mid-afternoon and I was starving. “Where are we? How far have you driven?” “Are you ready for a stop yet?” Dad asked. “Sure Dad, I’m starving are you?” “Yes,” he said, “I think it’s time for me to get out of the car and walk around a bit. I’ll pull over at the next place to stop that has food and petrol and we can get some air and something to eat.” A few kilometres down the road we saw a petrol station with a restaurant. We pulled in and parked the car. When we got out I realised how desperately we needed to stop. My body had been stuck in the one position sleeping for hours and my back was aching. “How do you feel?” I said. “Are you ok with all the driving?” “Sure,” Dad replied. “It gives me time to think. It’s actually quite peaceful, especially when you are sleeping”, and we both laughed. Dad was always commenting on how chatty Phoebe and I were together so I guess he was a bit worried if I would talk his ear off during the trip. “I can make up for lost time you know, Dad. I’m actually ready to chat now!” and I smiled at him. “Let’s eat,” Dad said, as he led me into the restaurant. After some lunch, Dad filled the petrol tank of the car and we left. Once it was

dark and getting late, I noticed that Dad was looking tired. “I don’t think we should drive all night. We both had a big night last night and with you being the only driver, you need to get plenty of rest.” “You’re right and you are precious cargo. I need to make sure we both remain safe.” The next town was about forty-five minutes away, so we agreed that when we got there we would find a motel and have a good night’s sleep. When we booked in at the motel and found our room, Dad rang Mum to let her know we were safe. I spoke to her as well and she thanked me for getting him to stop for a rest. “No problem, Mum. I’m keeping my eye on him.” Dad looked at me and smiled, he definitely liked being looked after! No wonder Mum and Dad got on as well together as Mum was a natural fusser! That night we had some dinner in our room, watched some TV and fell asleep. Even though I had slept in the car I was still tired. I really hadn’t slept much at all the night before and I was grateful for a bed instead of the car seat. The next morning we got up early. Dad was already awake when I woke up and he looked tense. “Are you ok?” I asked him. “Yes, I hope it goes well today. We will be there in a couple of hours.” We packed up our things, paid the bill and went out for breakfast. Neither of us was that hungry so we were on the road fairly quickly. It was an interesting trip for me. Most of our travelling over the years was up and down the coast and I could always see the ocean. This time we were travelling inland the entire time and it made me feel like I was a long way from home. Not only was the scenery different, the climate was cooler and drier and people dressed differently. I wondered what it would be like to meet my greatgrandmother; I really knew nothing about her at all. I took a deep breath and asked Dad some more questions. “Where does she live?” I asked Dad. “Oh” she’s in a nursing home but she is being very well looked after.” “Will other family be there?” I asked. “Well,” he said, “there are family living all around the area, but I’m not

sure who will be around when we visit.” “Is that what is making you so uneasy?” I asked. “Yes and no. I am uneasy because I don’t know if anyone else will be there, but I am also uneasy because I have not seen her for a long time. None of the family have ever met you of course. How do you feel about that?” I thought about his question, it was strange to visit someone to say goodbye when you had never met them before. I guess because we didn’t know each other that it wasn’t too bad. I wasn’t all that emotional about it. After thinking for a minute or so I said to Dad, “I just want her to be nice to you and I don’t want you to be hurt by your family anymore.” He reached over and squeezed my hand and said, “They can’t hurt me anymore. I have my own family to love and who love me. I just need to say goodbye.”

Goodbye

When we drove into the nursing home I started to get butterflies in my tummy. I didn’t know why this person was suddenly making me so nervous, perhaps because she was such an important person in Dad’s life, or maybe it was the fact that she had remained hidden from us all these years. As we parked the car I looked at Dad. He seemed sad and serious which was not normal for him, so instead of asking more questions, I just kept quiet. We walked into the reception area and Dad went to the desk while I sat down. After a few minutes he came back and said, “Room 131.” I got up and walked with Dad down to a corridor that gave many directions to various rooms. Rooms 100 to 150 were on the next floor so we walked up the stairs and down another corridor until we found the room. “Do you want to go in on your own, Dad?” I suggested. “That’s probably a good idea” he said. I sat down and waited, I was relieved. I watched Dad go in and hoped it would go well for him. I sat and waited on that seat for a long time. I watched lots of elderly people walking by or being pushed around by friends, family and staff. I wondered how Dad was getting on in there, all alone with this elderly woman. Just as I was doubting whether I should have let him go in on his own or not, Dad came to the door and said, “She wants you to come in.” Dads face looked more relaxed now which was pleasing. “Do you want me to?” I asked. “It’s up to you, but it wouldn’t hurt” he said. “Ok” I replied, and I got up and walked in holding Dad’s hand, something I had not done for a long time. Inside the room I noticed it was set up like a large bedroom. There was a bed, bedside table, dressing table, fridge, wardrobe, large window and a doorway into

what looked like a bathroom. A frail elderly woman was lying in the bed. She looked pale and grey, but she smiled at me as I walked over to her. “Hello” I said and I smiled back. “She’s very lovely” she said to Dad. “I know” he said, “I am very proud of her, and Dad put his arm around my shoulder.” “Come here my dear. Let me hold your hand.” It seemed strange to me that this old lady wanted to hold my hand. We knew nothing about each other, so I looked at Dad for guidance. Dad nodded at me to say it was ok, so I leaned forward and gave her my hand. I felt a bit nervous about it though. She held my hand for a while, without saying anything. It was kind of strange but I just stood there and let her have her time. I noticed that her eyes were closed and she breathed very slowly. Then, just as I started to relax, she opened her eyes and looked wildly into mine. Her eyes were wide open and she looked frightened. Her hands shook and I stood very still trying hard not to look as terrified as I felt. Then she spoke to me in a quiet and frightened voice: “My daughter was a beautiful girl. She was not unlike you when she was raped and left for dead by a group of monsters. This group of men were very bad and evil. They were known to the town as worshipers of evil and hatred. There were those who believed that their family had always worshiped evil. The group were never brought to justice for their crime on my daughter as she was too scared to press charges against them, but I knew who they were. So I turned to witchcraft to seek help from the spirits to deal with them. I knew that only witchcraft could deal with such evil.” “I’m so sorry” I said so quietly it was almost inaudible. Before I could say more or look to Dad for help she continued. “Not one of the men lived more than twelve months beyond their crime. But the pain for my daughter was not over. The families of the boys were devastated by the deaths of their sons. They blamed my daughter for their pain. They tracked her down and tormented her every day. In the end they wore her down so much that she did not even fight when she fell to her death.”

“Really I think that is enough,” Dad said. “It’s not Livie’s fault.” But she ignored Dad and continued again. “They never knew of her baby, your father. We managed to protect him by me raising him as my own, away from his mother. It kept your father safe for a while, but when he was old enough to realise he was not mine, he left us. Your dad thought he wasn’t wanted and in some ways we all looked at him with hatred. He reminded us of the pain we had suffered, but we also knew he was one of us and he deserved our love and protection. By driving your father away we were protecting him. I felt it was his only hope. It hurt me to lose your father that way, especially with the loss of my daughter as well. But I was protecting him. I feared that one day they would find him and this terrified me. Your father was a lovely boy, he was not a bad person, but I knew that the evil in those men had been planted within him with his creation. I feared that if they knew he existed, that they would track him down and make him one of their own.” “I understand your fears, but they have not found me, and we are safe”, Dad said. With that the old woman shook her head, clenched her teeth, held up my hand that was still in hers and continued once more: “You don’t understand. I feel it. I never felt it in you, but I feel it in her. You can’t see it, but it’s there. I see you my dear, the strength is in your eyes. I feel the power in you, I can feel your aura. They must never find you as they would have you as their own, a new leader, new blood, you would be a prize to them. Keep away child, keep far away. Go from here, go now and never come back. Go now!” With her last screeching sentence she let go of my hand. I looked at Dad in horror and ran out of the room. I saw a ladies bathroom sign and ran into the bathroom for some privacy. Is she mad I thought? How dare she be so creepy to me after we had travelled so far for Dad to see her? As I was thinking these thoughts I was splashing water on my face to wipe away my tears and the next thing I heard was Dad’s voice. “Are you in there Olivia?” I could hear Dad shouting. “Yes, Dad, I’ll be out in a minute” I replied. “I don’t think she knows what she’s saying,” Dad said apologetically, “she’s on

heavy medication you know.” “I’m ok Dad” I lied, “you go and sit with her and do what you need to do, but I will wait outside, I don’t want to see her anymore.” “That’s ok,” he said, “I’m sorry Olivia. I don’t know why she went on like that. I would never have brought you here if I thought that she would upset you in any way.” “It’s ok, Dad” I said more calmly, “you go back to her and I’ll go for a walk and get a cool drink or something.” I heard nothing more so I assumed Dad had gone. After a while I calmed myself down enough to go for a walk. I had washed my hands and my face and felt settled enough to leave the bathroom. What a troubled person; she really has some crazy imagination. How could she be responsible for those men dying? No-one was coming after Dad or me. Her imagination was obviously running away with her. Then I ed I was in a nursing home. This is where people come when are suffering. I shook my head and took a deep breath and thought to myself, mad, elderly or whatever, she was creepy and I never wanted to see her again. I walked for about an hour or so. By the time I made it back to the corridor near her room I noticed Dad sitting in a chair. He looked tired and his head was in his hands. “I’m sorry I upset her so much,” I said as I made my way back to him, “I don’t know what I did Dad, she just didn’t like me”. “No Olivia,” he replied, “I think you just frightened her. You reminded her of past times, painful times. After you left the room she quietened down and I sat with her. She thanked me for coming, she wanted to see me. I held her hand and then she closed her eyes. She lay there very still and I thought she was sleeping so I closed my eyes. A few minutes later I woke up to an alarm going off in her room. There were medical staff around but she had gone. It’s over Olivia; we made it just in time.” I didn’t know what to say. Did I kill her? Was seeing me and what I represent so bad that I frightened the last breath out of her? I certainly didn’t like her. She spoke as if I was evil or something. She spoke of an aura and being able to feel the bad in me. No-one had ever spoken to me like that before, except with the council when I was with Aunt Sarah. The whole thing was very strange.

“Are you alright?” Dad asked. “I’m fine, what can I do to help you now Dad?” I asked. “I need to ask them about funeral arrangements. I don’t know who will be taking charge of such things.” Funeral arrangements, I thought. I really did not want to be spending any more time in this place than I had to. Thankfully, I did not say this out aloud. Dad needed me. The mad woman was dead and clearly no-one was out to get us. I had to pull myself together for his sake and get out of here as soon as possible. So I sat down while Dad went over to the nurses’ station to talk about funerals. I had never been to a funeral before, not that I could . I know I went to Uncle David’s funeral but I was so young I have no memory of it. After a while Dad came back and sat with me. “All the arrangements have already been made and paid for,” he said, “they just gave me the number for the funeral home to to find out when it will take place.” “Do you want to go to the funeral, Dad?” I asked nervously. “I think so,” he replied. “I’ll ring and find out when they will do it and then decide, is that ok?” Dad asked. “Yes of course. Whatever you want to do.” He smiled a very grateful smile at me, and walked back to the desk to make his call. I hoped the funeral was soon so we could leave. While Dad was on the phone I closed my eyes to rest. Dad woke me up some time later to tell me the funeral was in two days’ time. We both agreed since we had come this far that he should stay to attend, so we left and went to find a motel to stay in. It wasn’t long until we found a suitable place to stay. Dad pulled in and we got a room for a few nights. Once we were in the room, Dad rang Mum to let her know what was going on. I went out for a walk while Dad was on the phone. It was a crazy day and the events at the hospital had really unnerved me. I wanted to be with Nick. Nick was always there for me when I needed him and being away from each other, I realised how much I needed him. I didn’t want to ring him and upset him, I just wanted to talk to him and remind myself that things would be better when I got home.

Back at the motel I rang Nick. He knew right away that I wasn’t myself. What could I say? There were no words to explain the craziness at the nursing home today. “Do you need me to come to the funeral with you?” Nick asked. But I knew that wasn’t the answer. Dad needed me. If I was with Nick, he would be alone. “No,” I replied. “Just promise you will stay with me for a while when I get home, I really miss you.” “No problem,” he said, “all I want is to be with you. “Thanks Nick”, I said before hanging up. When I got off the phone Dad was waiting for me. “She really upset you today and I’m so sorry Olivia” he said. “Maybe I should not have brought you here, but I did. Only you could understand where I have come from and still be here beside me. Your Mum and Brooke would have been too upset with my past, but here you are, ready to stand by your dad, even after the worst of words have been said today. So thank you Olivia, I really have needed you here to be strong with me today.” I was surprised that Dad was so open and honest with me. We have always been close, but I have had most of my conversations with Mum. What I realised was that Dad and I were actually very alike. We are mentally tough and have the ability to get on with things when needed. But here we were, travelling back in time and looking out for each other. “Can I ask you something, Dad?” “Sure”. “Did you know anything about what she said, about you being a secret and the men being evil?” Dad took my hand and sat with me. “Olivia,” he said, “I grew up with all the rumours you can imagine. My family spoke all the time of evil spirits and the secrecy of my birth while I was growing up. There was so much pain about my mother’s rape and death that I chose not to on their pain to my life and my family. I chose to live and move on and that is what I have done. I have not encountered the evil they have spoken of. I don’t know if that is by accident or because it simply does not exist. What I can say is that I have always refused to

let their fear control my life, and I am sure that you feel the same. I see it in you, the same quiet determination that I have. We are strong and no matter what we encounter, we can survive it.” I took a deep breath and smiled at Dad. I knew what he meant. I had encountered that feeling at the council with Aunt Sarah. Today for the first time I was told that my father and I could be in danger. I did not know what to make of it. I was not going to let it control me. What evil was really going to stop me making my vows and living my life? I was not going to let that crazy, bitter woman or some council get me down. “Come on Dad,” I said, “let’s get out for a while and have some fun”. Dad smiled at me and we left the motel room together. Outside we walked down the main street. I noticed that the shops were more oldfashioned than I was used to. The people were dressed in a different style of clothing than I was used to as well and it seemed like another world. It wasn’t frightening in anyway and definitely a long way from evil as I could picture it. We picked out a gift for Mum to take back with us and I found something for Nick and Phoebe. We took our shopping back to the motel and decided to freshen up and go out for dinner. I wanted pizza, something easy to take back to the motel, but Dad insisted on something more nutritional. So off we went to a tavern, which we heard was the place to eat in this town. When we got there it was quite busy with more people in this little tavern than I had seen all day. I was suddenly impressed. Maybe this creepy old town had something to offer after all? Good food perhaps? Dad decided to go to the bar and get us some drinks. He ordered, while at the table I waited and watched. Quite a few men were in the bar playing snooker and they looked my way. I smiled, not wanting to be rude and then turned back to wait for Dad and our drinks. The next minute I had a man on either side of me, smiling back. “Hello there”, one man said, “Are you new to town, we haven’t seen someone as lovely as you here before?” I felt instantly uncomfortable by the men’s presence at the table, so I opted for polite as I did not want to make a fuss. “Just visiting”, I said. At that time my dad’s drinks arrived and I watched him picked them up and walk to me in the restaurant. “Did those men bother you?” Dad asked. “No Dad, I’m fine.” We ordered dinner and continued to observe. It didn’t take long to realise that we stood out as strangers. We thought that we were watching the world go by, but the world was

watching us. So we ate our meal and returned to the motel without wasting too much time. There was something odd about this place that I just didn’t like. The next day ed by with Dad checking the details of the funeral and the two of us going for a drive. Dad drove around all the areas he knew from growing up. I saw his grandmother’s home, his school, the park that he played in and his favourite corner store. We went into the store to see if they still made the homemade ice-cream he ed so fondly and they did. Apparently it was a family recipe that had been ed down and Dad was right, it was really fabulous. It was a day of ing the good and I was pleased that there were some memories there for Dad that we could enjoy like this. It definitely made up for yesterday’s craziness. In the late afternoon we went shopping to buy some clothes for the funeral. Although we had brought plenty of clothes with us, we were not expecting to go to a funeral this very week. Dad purchased a smart black suit, black shirt and black shoes. I couldn’t help but notice that he looked really handsome dressed out of his casual gear and I was sure that Mum would have been happy with the clothes. I found a simple black dress, black sandals and black cardigan to wear. After shopping we walked back to the motel to rest before dinner. I had a bath to relax and Dad was starting to unwind and become more like himself again. That night we had dinner in our room and just took it easy. We both knew that tomorrow was going to be a big day, and Dad wanted to start the drive home if we could once the funeral was over. We were not going to the wake afterwards as there would be too many bad memories for Dad. I was relieved. The next morning we packed up our things and after breakfast dressed for the funeral. It was being held that morning at eleven at the crematorium. Dad settled our at the motel and we packed everything into the car so we could leave once the service had ended. I didn’t know if Dad was expecting to see any family he knew at the funeral; he wasn’t talking about it and so I didn’t bring it up. I was definitely working on a “need-to-know” basis at this time and I didn’t mind. Quite frankly I just wanted to get out of here as fast as I could and go home. When we arrived at the funeral, people already walking in. Dad led the way and we entered the service in silence. When we sat down, I felt that literally all eyes were on us. It was very uncomfortable. I could also sense something; it was a

feeling of uneasiness. A cold shiver went through my body and I shook in reaction. “Are you ok?” Dad asked. “Sure,” I said, “maybe just a bit cold”. I did not want Dad to know how I felt. I had to be strong for him. He took my hand and held it. I focused on the coffin which was not far from us. “Do we have to go up to it?” I asked Dad. “Not if we don’t want to”, Dad replied. “Do you want to?” I asked. “No,” he said, “I said goodbye two days ago so I don’t need to do it again”. Thank goodness I thought and focused on keeping as calm as possible. The service was not too long. Dad said he knew some of the people who spoke but no-one came up to us or acknowledged him. There were around eighty people there and no-one said a thing to him. I felt incredibly uneasy throughout so I just focused on my breathing. It was a technique we were taught at school when we were nervous in exams and it was working well. During the entire service I was sure that everyone was watching us and not the coffin. I said nothing to Dad, as I thought, even in my own mind, it sounded paranoid. I just couldn’t wait for the service to be over and to get out as quickly as possible. As we walked out of the service an elderly woman came over to me. She looked twisted and bitter. She looked straight at me so I nodded at her to acknowledge her presence and not seem to be rude. When I looked up her eyes met mine. She stared at me for quite some time and I felt very uncomfortable. I tried to move from her sight but she stayed with me. When we walked outside she turned and grabbed onto my wrist and said: “Where are you from child, who are you and what is your place here?” She seemed an angry woman, not too dissimilar to the one we just farewelled. She made me nervous. At that moment I knew that I really was being observed and I did not want these people to know anything about me or where I had come from. So I just tried to keep walking as if the words had never been spoken and I shook her grip away from me. Dad did not acknowledge her either and I guess he knew better. We both kept walking through the crowd down towards the car. At that time I did not feel it was safe to get in the car and give up so much information , so I increased my pace to be in front of Dad and walked straight past it. Dad, seeming to understand my paranoia, picked up instantly on my plan and kept walking as well. We did this down the street and around the corner until we knew we were not being followed.

I didn’t stop, look back or speak until I came to a coffee shop. When I saw it I crossed the road and went inside. Dad and I sat together in the back of the place. No-one followed us in. “Good plan”, Dad said to me. “I didn’t feel that they were friendly either”. “Did anyone speak to you, Dad?” I asked. “No,” he replied, “they seemed more interested in you”. “I could feel them,” I said, “their eyes were on me and they were not happy at all. How are we going to get the car and get out of here?” I asked. Dad thought about it for a minute and so did I. If no-one noticed him then his secret remained safe. The focus had been on me, but no-one knows who I am. If someone recognises Dad and see’s us together then a connection could be made. Dad didn’t like it but he had to agree, I was right. I had to get the car. So we had a warm drink to give some time between the end of the funeral and my return, and then I walked back. I of course did not have a licence, but I kind of knew how to drive. Dad’s car was automatic and I only had to drive the car around the corner to Dad and then he could get in and take over. When I walked to the car, the area was clear. I felt relieved. As I got closer the car looked different. I could not make it out at first but as I got closer I could see the problem. Someone had written “EVIL” on the both front doors. I didn’t know what the car had been marked with but I could not rub it off. I looked around to see if anyone was watching but I could not see a single person. I decided to just drive to Dad and get him to help. When I got around the corner, Dad’s face dropped. When he got in the enger’s seat he said, “Did you see anyone?” ”No”, I replied. “What do we do Dad?” I asked. “We need to put the car somewhere while we clean it,” he said. “We’ll take it back to the motel and we will work it out from there.” The motel was not far so I continued driving. I was embarrassed by people staring but what could we do? When I parked the car, Dad and I got changed out of our funeral clothes and walked to the auto shop where we purchased a heavy

duty stain cleaner for the car. We then used the motel’s hose and cleaned the writing off. It took about an hour of scrubbing to fix the car enough to drive home. The car doors would need to be resprayed, but you could no longer read the writing on the car. As we drove out of town I breathed a sigh of relief. “What is it?” Dad asked. I waited before speaking, I did not want to offend Dad or upset him anymore than he already was. “What are you thinking about, Livie?” “Well Dad,” I replied, “I’m sorry if this offends you, but I hope we never have to return to that place again.” “It’s ok, Livie,” Dad said, “I never want to go back either”. Good I thought and we continued driving towards home.

No Regrets

During the drive home, Dad and I were pretty quiet. I guess we both had a lot of thinking to do. We stayed overnight when it became too late to drive any further and by midday the next day we were home. I was so grateful to see our house again. It was a place that I loved, where we all felt welcome and where most of the people I cared about lived. Mum came running outside to greet us as soon as we drove in the driveway. Dad gave her the biggest hug I had seen between them for a long time and I heard him say to her, “I am so glad to see you. I missed you so much.” Mum smiled and hugged him back. I thought to myself that sometimes people need a break from each other to remind them of how lucky they really are. When I was unpacking in my room, Dad came in and sat on my bed. “We barely spoke a word on the way home Olivia,” he said, “Should we have spoken about it?” “No Dad,” I answered. “I’m just pleased that you have somewhere now where you are appreciated and loved and we do love you Dad; we are your home.” Dad smiled and hugged me. “Thanks Olivia,” he said, “I have never looked back from leaving them and I don’t regret it. It was the right decision for all of us.” Dad was right, none of us ever needed to go back there again. I was relieved to hear him express the exact same feelings I had inside me. I had never felt so despised and unwanted anywhere before. I just wanted to see Nick and Phoebe, catch up and get back to my life. I needed to leave the misery in the past. Once unpacked, I had Dad drive me to school just before the afternoon bell. As Dad drove away from me I felt relieved that this trip was over for both of us. I waited for Nick and Phoebe by the school gate. It wasn’t long before I saw Nick walking out. When he saw me he started to run. Instinct took over and my legs did the same. Before I knew it I was in his arms again and I was better. “Was it terrible?” Nick asked. “Yes” I said, “but it doesn’t matter anymore now

that I am here with you”. Nick looked relieved. He was smart enough not to push me for information and I was really not up to talking about it. “Where’s Phoebe?” I asked. Nick smiled, “She was picked up mid-week to go and compete this weekend. I think she left a note for you at your place.” I smiled back at Nick, surfing was her world and she was really doing well. “Is the event far away?” I asked. “We knew you would want to watch her”, Nick said, “I’ve already got the ok from your Mum and so she’s going to take us this weekend to watch. We’re going to base ourselves as Aunt Sarah’s beach house”. All the worries of the past week seemed to disappear so quickly with Nick. He had that way of being in charge and making me feel like when I was with him, no-one could harm me. When we were apart, I felt like it was my job to protect those around me. This was a new feeling for me that had started on my sixteenth birthday with Aunt Sarah and the council. But when I was with Nick, he was in charge and I could relax. This for me was the best time of all. At home I found Phoebe’s note. It read:

Olivia, You’ll never guess. I’ve been called up to surf in the National Titles. They are being held about an hour’s drive from your Aunt Sarah’s house. I’ve told your parents and Nick and they are hoping that you’ll be home in time to come and watch. I do hope you and your Dad are ok. I heard your great-grandmother died and you had to stay for the funeral. I’m so sorry Olivia, I hope you are ok. Please come if you can, Olivia, I’m thinking of you, BFF, Phoebe xx

I walked into the kitchen where Mum and dad were sitting sipping on a cool

drink. “I have Phoebe’s note” I said to them. “I’ve just finished telling your Dad. He thinks it will be a perfect way for you to unwind from your trip”, Mum explained. Dad looked at me and winked, so I winked back at him. “I’ve spoken to Aunt Sarah and she says we can travel up tomorrow if you like”, Mum said. “What about school, Mum, I know its Friday but perhaps I should go?” I queried. “I already told them you would be away for the week”, Mum said. “Go and have some fun with your friends and you can get back to the books next week. Besides, Aunt Sarah and I need to catch up”. “Thanks” I said and I walked over to Nick’s. When I got to Nick’s place he was in his room packing. “All set?” he said. “No” I replied, “I haven’t even started but I will. When are we leaving?” “Early tomorrow so we get to Aunt Sarah’s about lunchtime. What do you think?” “Sure,” I replied, “come over and I’ll cook you and Mum breakfast about 6am and we can go from there.” “Great”. I’ll visit after dinner tonight to see how you’re going” he said. I leaned in and kissed Nick on the cheek and ran back home. I had a lot to organise. I felt like I’d only just unpacked and I was packing again. It was perfect really. Dad and I needed some space after our trip, otherwise we might talk and what was there to say? I think we both knew that talking was not a good idea at the moment; no-one would benefit from it. At dinner, Dad looked at Mum serving up the meal and I could see that he was happy again. The pain that I had seen on his face during our trip was gone. Mum had replaced it with the love she gave to all of us, unconditionally.

After dinner Nick came over. We sat around for a bit, all of us, which did not happen that often. Nick spoke to my parents about his desire to go to university at the end of high school and continue his studies. Nick was doing well at school and Mum and Dad seemed very proud of his ambition. I realised at that moment that it was important for Nick to talk to them about his future. I felt pleased that my parents provided Nick with the home life he missed so much from his own parents. When we were in my room on our room, I asked Nick if he had spoken much to his own parents about his plans for university. Nick sighed and told me that they were still so angry at each other, especially with Nick coming back to live with his dad, that they were not really able to talk about such things with him. Nick said that his mum is still stuck in the past and that his dad is frightened of being on his own again. I really felt for Nick. At times he carried the pain of his family on his shoulders and I hoped that one day I would be able to free him from this sadness. Nick and I both knew that tomorrow would be a big day, so after a short time together we decided to say goodnight. Nick kissed me goodbye outside my front gate and he then walked back home. When I went inside, Mum and Dad were both there waiting for me. “What’s wrong?” I asked, as they normally did not wait for me like this. Dad asked me to sit down and so I did. Mum and Dad sat together opposite me which was pretty formal for them. Then Dad spoke, “We just wanted a brief chat to you Olivia. We can see what a great guy Nick is and that he cares for you very much. We just want to make sure that you give yourself the opportunity of choices, if you ever want them. We don’t want his need to be loved and your desire to love, to cloud your vision about any alternative plan. We love Nick very much but we just want to remind you to keep your choices open”. I was really shocked to hear this from my parents. They had always loved Nick. “What brought this on?” I asked. “Don’t you want him to go with us tomorrow?” Mum and Dad shook their heads. I was confused. The week had been crazy enough without this complication. “We are happy to take him tomorrow,” Mum said, “I just don’t want you to be with Nick because he needs you. I want you to feel the same about him and be

sure of it, that’s all; of course he can go this weekend.” I didn’t know what to say. Sometimes parents do crazy things. When you’re unhappy, they want you to be happy, and when you are happy, they want to know why and could it be better. “Mum, Dad,” I said, “you both need to calm down. We’re not about to get married or something if that’s what you’re worried about. We’re just happy together. Nick makes me happy and without him things aren’t the same. Don’t panic though. If things change, I’ll let you know, but in the meantime, just let me enjoy the happiness he brings me”. They seemed relieved. I didn’t know what that was about, but the crisis seemed to be averted temporarily. I gave both of them a kiss and went to bed. That night I had a restless sleep. I was at school and there were angry, evil people chasing me. I kept on falling over as I was wearing a wedding gown and Mum and Dad were standing to one side saying, “Are you sure, are you sure?” At one stage I got up and washed my face and lay down again. Eventually I must have fallen to sleep as the next thing I was my alarm going off at 5:30am. When I got up I felt exhausted. I got dressed and organised breakfast for Nick, Mum and I. Nick was at the door by 5.55am. “I’m starving”, he said as he sat in the kitchen. I served us all a cooked breakfast and we grabbed our things. I went in to say goodbye to Dad and we left. Nick kissed my hand in the back of the car as Mum turned the corner of our street. I smiled at Nick as my heart was always happy with him, plus, we were on our way to see Phoebe and Aunt Sarah.

Understanding

We arrived at Aunt Sarah’s by lunchtime. When we parked the car Aunt Sarah was already at my door to give me a huge hug. We hadn’t spoken much since my sixteenth birthday and there was a lot on both of our minds. “Fabulous to see you”, I said to her. “Back at you”, she said and we both smiled. By this time Nick had made it around the car and Aunt Sarah said to him, “Always a pleasure to greet you oh gorgeous one!” “Back at you” Nick replied and we all cracked up laughing. Aunt Sarah then hugged Mum and we walked inside together. On the kitchen table Aunt Sarah had fresh bread and various flavours waiting for us for lunch. “Are you kids hungry or do you want a swim first?” she asked. Nick and I looked at each other and without hesitating we replied, “Swim!” So we pulled everything out of the car, found our swimmers and went to the beach. This meant that Mum and Aunt Sarah had time to catch up. Being in the water restored that feeling of freedom in my body. I always felt like this in the ocean. While I was travelling with Dad, I felt so far away from that peacefulness and it was nice to have it back. “I could never live away from the coast”, I said to Nick. “I’ve always known you to feel like that and its fine with me”, Nick replied. I held Nicks hand under the water and we smiled at each other. When Nick and I returned, Mum and Aunt Sarah were waiting for us on the veranda. “Are you going to cook for me this trip?” Aunt Sarah asked, “Your mum says

you’re pretty good these days.” “Sure,” I replied, “If you haven’t shopped I’ll do something tonight.” Aunt Sarah nodded back at me. It really was something I enjoyed, cooking for the family, I did not mind at all. After lunch, Nick and I walked to the shops to get food for dinner. It was great to be away with him: No school, no angry people and no wedding dress! I laughed to myself and Nick looked at me. “Are you ok?” he questioned. “Of course”, I said, “Just enjoying the moment.” Nick stopped and grabbed me, twirled me around and then kissed me. “Me too”, he said, and we laughed and kept walking. That night I cooked dinner for us all. It was simple but everyone enjoyed it. Not long after dinner Nick said he was tired and wanted to go to bed. I think he knew that Aunt Sarah and I wanted some private time to talk. He was aware of her being my other mum and the limited face-to-face time we had together. I walked him to his room and kissed him goodnight. “Thanks”, I said, “You really know me too well.” Nick smiled and showed me an English book he had packed from school. “I have to finish it anyway”, he said. I went back out to the lounge room and Aunt Sarah was waiting. “Where’s Mum?” I asked. “She’s gone to bed too; it’s just the two of us staying up. Do you want to walk along the beach?” Aunt Sarah asked. “Sure” I replied. We hadn’t walked far when Aunt Sarah asked me to sit down. As I sat, I knew that there was a lot to talk about. Our time in front of the council seemed a lifetime ago and yet it had only been a few weeks. Since then I had experienced

some real changes in my perspective on things which I had not taken the time to really consider. “How was your time with your father?” Aunt Sarah asked. I hesitated as I did not want to upset anyone after my trip with Dad. I also had not wanted to make Mum afraid with anything I had to say. I was happy to keep quiet about it. Aunt Sarah must have felt my concern. “Don’t worry” she said, “I won’t upset your Mum by telling her what you tell me. I just need to know as I can feel that it upset you.” I took a deep breath and then spoke. “It wasn’t a nice place at all. The people were definitely not friendly. In fact, Dad’s grandmother spoke of evil and she was frightening. She said that Dad was hidden away so they couldn’t find him and she was frightened of me when she met me. She told Dad to take me away, that she felt my aura and that she could feel the power in me which she didn’t like. At the funeral I could feel people staring, not at Dad though, at me. I felt very uncomfortable. After the funeral an old woman came up to me and held onto my wrist. She looked at me in a horrified way. She wanted to know who I was but I didn’t stop to speak to her. When Dad and I got to our car to leave, someone had written the words “EVIL” on the car. To be honest Aunt Sarah, it was the most unwelcome and creepy place I have ever been to and I never want to go back.” “I’m so sorry”, Aunt Sarah said. “How did your father handle all this?” “He was very distressed. I knew I had to take charge and help him whenever I could and I did. It was like when we were before the council on my birthday - I gathered the strength that I needed from inside me and carried on. I surprised myself with the strength that I found. Needless to say I was relieved when we got home and I could relax and be Daddy’s little girl again. I meant it when I said I never wanted to go back”. Aunt Sarah smiled, she knew what I meant. “Yes,” she said, “there is something very nice about having your man in charge, whether it is your father, your boyfriend or your husband. It gives you the kind of security every girl is looking for, even when we think we don’t want it or need it.” I smiled at Aunt Sarah, even though I could take charge and did when it was necessary, I did enjoy being looked after as well.

“So have you figured it out yet?” Aunt Sarah asked. “Dad’s heritage?” I questioned. “Yes,” she said, “the council were very interested in it. I had nothing to offer you, as your father came to us without family. He never spoke or saw anyone. We didn’t question it as he made it clear very early on that he was on his own. Your mother didn’t mind, heritage wasn’t important to her like it was to me. I should have considered it however when I gave your mother my egg. I was so overwhelmed with the desire to help her that I didn’t take the time to consider his family”. I gave Aunt Sarah a hug. “It’s not your fault. You were doing something from the heart, for your family, I don’t blame you for that.” “You should. I believe I have been reckless in my actions and in doing so I have placed you in a situation of grave danger”. “It will work itself out,” I replied. “I just know it will”. “Tell me more about your dad’s family, his parents for example. I need to know where he comes from”, Aunt Sarah asked. I stopped and thought back to all that had happened with Dad. There was still so much I didn’t know about his family and they were so unwelcoming that I didn’t meet anyone beyond his grandmother. “I don’t know what I can tell you”, I replied. “His mother seemed on all s to have been a lovely young girl. His grandmother said I reminded her of her daughter. However when she was close to my age she was attacked by a group of men. From what I gather she was left for dead, but she survived”. Aunt Sarah looked shocked but I continued on. “As a result of the attack my father was born. The family hid her pregnancy to protect my father and he was raised by his grandmother as her own. I think Dad met his real mother at some time but she ended up dying under suspicious circumstances. The men who attacked her also died. Dad’s grandmother took pride in her belief that via witchcraft she had been responsible for their deaths. As I understood it, their deaths led to the suspicious death of Dad’s mother. The whole history is filled with horror and evil. Dad’s grandmother believed the men who attacked her daughter were known to be evil, and that it is this evil that she and the other

people in the town said they saw in me. Dad didn’t waste any time on their craziness, but it certainly made me feel very uneasy”. Aunt Sarah was very quiet. She was thinking. She looked pale and concerned. I tried not to notice too much; I didn’t want to worry her unnecessarily. “Are you ok?” I asked. “No,” she said. “This is what I feared. The council could see it. They could feel your aura, your power. Power is often mistaken as evil. People with power can chose to develop such a power for good or for evil. Many people decide to abuse their power. This is why those who can sense your aura fear you. For those of us like me who know you, we have never feared you and never will. We will never see your power as evil. However for those seeking to be powerful, they fear you. They see you as someone who could get in the way of their plans to create evil”. I didn’t know if I was tired or if Aunt Sarah was speaking in riddles. I thought I knew what she was saying, it just didn’t seem to make much sense to me. I couldn’t understand why people could think I was evil. Sure I was feeling stronger and more independent these days, but I was not interested in being evil. It seemed so far from where my beliefs had been centred for all of my life. I knew I had been raised to understand and consider others and I definitely did not want to abuse that feeling. Aunt Sarah must have noticed my confusion. “I think it’s time for bed”, she said. “We’ll talk about this later. I don’t want you to worry. We’ll work through this. The important thing for you is to know and understand your heritage and to never abuse it. We need to know these things to be prepared for what lies ahead for you. We need to prepare for anything and I fear anything is possible”. I knew Aunt Sarah was being very serious, but I was too tired to speak. I walked with her back to the house and collapsed into bed. That night there were no dreams, there were no parents, no evil people and there was no wedding dress, only sleep.

Catch Up

The next morning Nick woke me up early. We packed our things and travelled by bus to the beach where Phoebe was competing. When we arrived, Phoebe was warming up in the surf and she was looking like a champion. We didn’t want to disturb her so we had a swim and waited on the beach for her to come in for a break. It wasn’t long before Phoebe was out of the surf and sitting with her team. We waited for the right time and waved at her from a distance to let her know we were there. As soon as Phoebe saw us she came running over. Within seconds she was hugging both of us and we were all smiling together. “When did you arrive?” Phoebe asked. “We came up yesterday and stayed the night at Aunt Sarah’s”, I explained. Phoebe sat with us for a while and went over the day’s events. The competition had age and open divisions. Phoebe was sixteen so she could compete in both. Up until now she had only ever entered the age division, however she was now considered good enough to transition to the open event as well. This meant that she would be competing against seasoned competitors and she knew she would not make it to the open finals on Sunday. “So what does your coach expect from you today?” I asked. “He said that I am to kill it in the age division but with regards to the open, it’s about experience. He wants me to do my best and see how far I can go. I would hope to get to the open finals day on Sundays one day, but in the meantime, I just want to get through as many heats as I can. The competition starts in about an hour. Do you want to go and get something to snack on?” she asked. I looked at Nick, “Sure”, we replied. We went to the café across the road from the beach. Phoebe was careful not to overeat before she competed, although she was starving. We each had a light

snack and then we returned to the beach. Phoebe left us to sit with her coach and his surf squad while Nick and I enjoyed the day. Phoebe surfed really well. She won silver in her age division and made it through the open heats until late in to the afternoon when she was eliminated from the competition. After talking to her coach, Phoebe made her way over to Nick and I. “Great job Phoebe”, I said to her. “Are you pleased?” “Yes”, Phoebe replied, “Silver in my age and I made it all the way to the last eliminations before finals day, I am wrapped!” “Can you come with us for a while?” I asked. “Sure”, she said. I have to stay with the team tomorrow but I don’t have to be back until curfew, that’s nine thirty tonight.” “Great” Nick replied. “I’m going to take you girls out for an early dinner and get you back in plenty of time.” Phoebe smiled. “I’m so glad you guys came here today, I really miss you both when I am away.” I put my arm around Phoebe and said, “We are just so proud of you! We would never miss an opportunity to watch you in action!” We packed up all our things while Phoebe got permission from her coach to be with us for dinner and then we went to the local pub to eat. As we ate, Phoebe told us about her latest flame and her plan to go to teacher’s college after school to become a PE teacher. Her coach told her that with her natural sporting ability, it would be a handy back-up career for her and she could keep surfing while she studied. “What plans are you guys making for university or college?” Phoebe asked. I was quite shocked with all this career talk from Phoebe. “Wow”, I replied. “You’ve certainly become very career focused all of a sudden Phoebe” “Coach says we need to study and surf, so they put a lot of time into this stuff with us. So, what’s your plan Nick?” she asked.

“I’m hoping to go to university, maybe go to law school”. Nick replied. “I’ve been interested in social justice for a long time and my careers adviser at school says my results are good enough”. I rolled my eyes at Phoebe and she laughed. “Who would have thought that such a handsome guy would end up being so brainy?” Phoebe said. Nick gave her a shove and then we all laughed. It was exciting talking about our futures like this. “What about you Olivia?” Phoebe asked. “Have you decided to be a chef or what?” I pulled a face at Phoebe. She knew me so well. I had been tossing the idea of being a chef like Mum around for years, but I also wanted to do my senior years at high school and consider going to university, but to do what? “Well,” I said, “I want to continue with my cooking, I love it, but I also want to study and maybe even to do psychology like Dad”. “That’s fabulous!” Phoebe responded. “My own personal shrink! What a blast!” With that we all laughed and continued eating our meal. After dinner we went for a long walk. It was nice to relax together, no craziness, no training, no demands, no school, just the tranquillity of the evening. It crossed my mind that we had not had much time like this together lately and I really let myself enjoy the moment. By nine o’clock Phoebe was looking really tired. “What time did they get you up this morning?” I asked. “Five” Phoebe replied. “Ok,” Nick said, “it’s time to get our little star to bed. We don’t want to tire her out”. Phoebe didn’t disagree, as she was clearly exhausted. We had asked Mum to meet us at Phoebe’s motel just after nine. When we got to the motel where Phoebe’s team were staying, Mum was sitting in her car waiting for us. Mum got out of the car when she saw us and gave Phoebe a big hug. I then walked Phoebe to her room. On the way there I stopped for a moment. “What’s up?” Phoebe asked. I looked at Phoebe quite seriously. She looked back at me curiously. “What is it?” she asked again. “I just want to make sure you realise what a champion you are Phoebe. We’re so

proud of you, don’t you ever forget it.” Phoebe reached forward and held me. “Thanks Olivia”, she said. “It is lonely travelling with the team at times. I mean I love the surfing and competing, but to know that you guys are always here for me, it means the world to me.” We stayed like that, holding each other for a moment and then Phoebe’s coach came from nowhere and said, “Glad you’re back Phoebe. Time for bed. I’ll wake you at five for training in the morning”. “So you still train tomorrow?” I asked. “Yes. We train every day, whether we are competing or not.” “We’ll see you when you’re back home then. Will that be soon?” I asked. “Next week some time, I think” Phoebe replied. “Excellent”, I said, and Phoebe waved goodbye as she went into her room to sleep. When I got back to the car Nick was asleep. “Jump in the front with me and let him sleep”, Mum said. I did just that and Mum drove us home to Aunt Sarah’s. “Thanks for picking us up, Mum. It’s so much better than the bus at this time of night”. “No problem”, Mum replied. I tried to stay awake to chat with Mum but I drifted off. I woke up in a fright at one point and Mum put her hand on me and said, “It’s ok honey. Go back to sleep”, so I did. When we arrived back at Aunt Sarah’s there was hot chocolate and a snack waiting for us. After chatting for a short while about Phoebe’s competition, we all went to bed. Part of me wanted to talk to Aunt Sarah again but I was too tired. I figured there was plenty of time to do that tomorrow before going home. The next day I woke early. Nick was sound asleep and when I got to the kitchen Aunt Sarah was waiting for me. “Do you want to escape?” she said. “Sure”, I replied.

“Ok,” Aunt Sarah said, “grab your swimmers and a towel, leave a note for your mum and Nick and we’ll come back later for brunch before you drive home.” It sounded like a great idea. I crept into my room, got changed, wrote a note out saying we would be home by ten to eat before we travelled home. Aunt Sarah and I loved getting time alone. It was such a rare thing for us. We didn’t demand it, but we enjoyed it. We both desired the simple pleasures in life, walking, swimming, talking, relaxing and cooking. With Aunt Sarah I felt that I could indulge in these pleasures without the interruption of life. My time with Aunt Sarah was also filled with our discussion of heritage. The choice she had made and my decision to follow the same path linked us at another level. We both knew that there was always plenty to talk about, we just struggled working out the right time without making Mum feel left out. Secrecy regarding the council always existed. It was something I could talk to no-one else about except for Aunt Sarah. I still had many questions as Aunt Sarah obviously did too. “Is Nick the one?” Aunt Sarah asked as we strolled down to the sand. “In my heart he is the only one”, I said to Aunt Sarah. “That is good, but I fear you are hesitant in some way. Can I help you at all?” she asked. I sat down on the sand and Aunt Sarah sat with me. I knew she was right, there was hesitation. “I’m scared of putting him in danger”, I replied. “If there are evil people trying to find me, because of Dad or because of who we are, then I’m afraid that I would be placing him in danger by choosing him”. Aunt Sarah moved closer to me and held my hands and said, “Olivia, if Nick is the one, he will be with you forever, is that right?” “Yes”. “Then,” Aunt Sarah continued, “if evil is out there, and we know it is, and they are trying to find you because of who you are, then they are doing so whether you choose Nick or not, because they will sense your feelings for him”.

“I understand”, I said. “You can’t hide your true feelings Olivia. All you can do is embrace them and protect those around you. Do not place Nick in more danger through your fears of keeping him close. Keeping him close, if he is the one, is the only way you will ever be able to protect him”. Aunt Sarah explained. I looked at Aunt Sarah’s face. She was not frightened, she understood. I thought about what she had said and I knew she was right. Even though I feared for Nick’s safety if I chose him, how could I love anyone else? So how would he ever be free of the dangers I present to him? “Is there nothing I can do to make this any safer for him?” I asked. Aunt Sarah nodded and said “Yes. You must be prepared Olivia, you must be on the ready for whatever situation unfolds in the future and I fear it will. There is obviously unrest in your father’s family. There was definitely unrest amongst the council with the decision regarding your creation. There will be those from both sides of our families who will not want us to exist. All we can do is remain strong, and be prepared”. I could hear the seriousness in Aunt Sarah’s voice. Aunt Sarah continued, “I have purchased you a phone to keep in touch with you at all times. If you ever have any concerns that you are being followed or watched or in danger of any kind, I want you to ring me. I will always have my phone on and be prepared. In return, I ask that you be the one that I can call if I fear that they are coming after me. Is that agreed Olivia? If we do not stand united, we could be eliminated by our enemies. Do you understand?” I understood exactly what she was saying. I felt relieved that she was making a plan for us. “Of course”, I said, “I want to work with you to get through this Aunt Sarah. Thank you for making a plan. I want to know that I can you and you can me and that we can be there for each other. I want to be prepared if they come for us.” Aunt Sarah gave me a big hug, “You are the best niece anyone could ask for and everything I have ever wanted”, she said. I think we both felt relieved. We had agreed to stand together against the unknown and it was the unknown. We did not know what was ahead, but we feared there may be trouble. I was mindful of our trip home and so I took Aunt

Sarah’s hand and raced her to the ocean. We both had a swim in the crisp water and then walked back to the house. When we arrived back, Mum and Nick were up and dressed. “Have a nice swim?” Nick asked. “Fabulous”, I replied. “Go shower and pack while I make us all a nice brunch”, Aunt Sarah said. I watched Mum go into the kitchen with Aunt Sarah. They looked so happy together. Within an hour we were packed, fed and ready to go. I hated saying goodbye to Aunt Sarah, she was such an important part of my life, but it was time to go home and finish another school year. As we packed the car, Aunt Sarah came running out with the phone she had purchased for me. It was very small and compact. It came in a box with chargers and a cover. “Thanks”, I said. “No problem. There’s a chain too so you can hang the phone around your neck if you want to. Just promise me to keep it on you at all times, ok?” Aunt Sarah said. “I will”, I replied and gave her a big hug goodbye. “Thanks for having us”, Nick said. “Anytime, handsome!” Aunt Sarah replied cheekily. We all laughed and then Nick and I got into the car. Mum and Aunt Sarah then said their goodbyes and Mum got into the car to drive us home. “Thanks Mum for a wonderful weekend” I said. “You’re most welcome, Olivia”, Mum said. “I think you deserved some fun after being away with your father”. On the drive home Nick and I relaxed into the mood of nothingness. I think we both enjoyed the time of being together. That was what I loved about Nick, I just enjoyed being with him. We did not have to be doing things all the time, just being together was enough. We snuggled together in the back of the car throughout the journey home and it was a nice way to end the weekend.

When Mum drove into our driveway, I was pleased to be home. So much had gone on over the past few weeks that I was ready to take it easy. Dad was home and helped us get our things out of the car. Nick had a cool drink with us and answered all of Dad’s questions about how Aunt Sarah was getting on. Before Nick went home, we explained to Dad about how brilliantly Phoebe had surfed and how we had taken her to dinner afterwards. It was pretty special to know someone so talented and I enjoyed living on the edge of her dream. As I walked Nick next door I held his hand tight. We spoke to briefly to his dad, and then I went to Nick’s room to say goodnight. Inside Nick shut the door and turned around really fast and threw his arms around me. “I’ve been with you all weekend and yet I miss you”, he said. “How can that be?” I asked him. “We’ve barely been apart the whole time”. Nick held onto me tight and said, “I just want to hold you and never let you go.” I put my hands around Nicks face, he was beautiful. I looked deep into his big brown eyes and kissed him. I loved kissing Nick; it was like diving into the ocean, my favourite place to be. When the kiss ended I took a deep breath. For some reason I wanted to test Nick’s feelings and so I said to him, “You can have me forever if you want to?” I was uncertain what Nick would say. He stopped and looked at me with a wild expression. He then picked me up in his arms and swirled me around in his room until we lost balance, started to laugh and fell over onto his bed. It must have made a terrible noise as Nick’s dad came in to check everything was ok and then left again. As he left, Nick turned to me and said, “Is that a promise Livie, are you really offering yourself to me for life?” That was when I knew, no matter what danger lay ahead, Nick would be there with me and my love for him provided me with no other option. I looked back at his beautiful face and said, “I am Nick. I’m yours forever”, and I meant it, with all my heart.

The Test

Returning to school was awkward. My mind had been elsewhere for months considering things much larger than school had to offer. I knew however that my future was important and no matter what my heritage provided me, I still needed a career. Phoebe had missed many of her school lessons this year with her surfing. When she was at school, she was finding it hard to keep up with some of the traditional subjects like Maths and English. Phoebe was a natural athlete however, so her coach had already sent her portfolio to a variety of universities to consider her for the future. For Phoebe, teaching was not the best option. She made it very clear to me that she wanted to travel around the globe and surf, but her coach was very mindful of the fact that at some stage she may not be surfing anymore and would need a career. Phoebe is lucky to have such a team behind her to give her advice. I would never have thought of it. To me, Phoebe doesn’t need the back-up plan as she is the star. Besides school, the other thing I became focused upon was the fact that Nick was the one. Although I guess I always knew it, I hadn’t dared to dream it. Now I knew it was real, I was going to make my vows and Nick was my choice. It was time to see if Nick was compatible or whether I was wasting my time. I knew that this was going to be tricky as I needed to test Nick’s blood for compatibility. With regard to the formalities of my vows, I had to follow strict guidelines. Firstly I had to choose a believer. Nick had always been my soul mate, so I knew that was not a problem. Nick and I had spent our younger years exploring the universe together and his imagination and ion for life held no boundaries. Secondly, Nick had to be my blood. This was a strange thing for me as I didn’t even know my own blood type to check his compatibility. Luckily, I was studying Human Biology in Science at school. In class we were doing lots of crazy experiments and had plenty of discussions regarding blood.

After some thought, I came up with the idea of telling Nick that I was doing a project on blood types. This project required me to test as many people as I could to show the different types of blood amongst my family and friends. Nick was none the wiser and a willing participant. At the same time, I was also able to include myself in the project and deal with that problem as well. I collected pin prick kits from the chemist that they use on diabetics to test their blood. I then went around like some mad pathologist pricking the fingers of everyone around me. The task worked out to be more interesting than I expected and I was surprised how I enjoyed it. I spoke to Dad and he knew a pharmacist who knew a guy in pathology and they arranged for my samples to be processed for a small fee. I paid them back by doing some afternoon deliveries between the pathologist and chemist over a number of weeks. While I waited for the results to come back, I ended up putting the project in writing and my Science teacher was really impressed. I think she believed (quite appropriately) that I had taken little notice of her subject and so my project came as a surprise. I had to it, that although I had not been remotely interested in Human Biology, my need to know Nick and my own blood types had made it interesting. While all the tests were being processed I became unwell. The problem was no mystery; it was pure fear building up inside me with regard to the results. If Nick and I were compatible, I could continue with my plans to take my vows. If we were not, I did not know what I was going to do. I had already told the council that I was going to proceed, but to proceed with anyone but Nick was not possible. I suddenly realised I had not thought this through very well and wondered if I could change my mind and not proceed if Nick was not compatible. As these thoughts twisted over and over in my brain I became very restless. I couldn’t eat or sleep until I got the results back and then I feared the answer that they would bring. I suddenly felt overwhelmed with the idea of what was ahead. Part of me wanted to never get the results back and the other part wanted everything to be rosy and go ahead with my vows as I had promised. Mum and Dad were noticing my edgy moods and Nick was uptight with me as well. The results were going to take weeks to come back and I was unsure how I was going to cope. I kept telling everyone I was uptight with my schoolwork, but in reality, I had much bigger things on my mind.

Nick started visiting me in the evenings and providing me with last minute study tips. Mum was making hot chocolate to help me sleep and build up my appetite. Brooke must have been speaking to Mum and Dad on the phone and spoke to me one night with some encouraging words. When that happened, I knew they were really getting worried. How could they know that I was trying to plan my future? No-one really knew the pressure I was under and it was tough. I thought of Aunt Sarah. I got out my phone and went to my bedroom. It was late but I knew she wouldn’t mind me calling. In fact, the idea of the phone was for times just like these when there was no-one I could talk to, and I so rang her. When I heard Aunt Sarah’s voice on the other end, I was instantly relieved. She on the other hand was panic stricken. “What is it Olivia?” she said. “Are you ok, are you safe?” I realised at that point that I had thrown Aunt Sarah into spin. She was instantly afraid so I explained, “Aunt Sarah, I’m fine. Well I’m safe and not in any danger. I’m just frightened. Actually no, I’m terrified!” Aunt Sarah’s voice did not improve with my explanation. “What is it Olivia? What’s wrong?” she asked. “Oh Aunt Sarah, I’m so frightened. What if Nick is not compatible? I’ve sent off the tests and I am waiting for the results. What if he isn’t the one?” As I finished the sentence, I started to sob. I had been holding in all my fears for days and I was finally falling apart and letting them out. “Olivia,” Aunt Sarah cried, “calm down. Yes you have to do the test, you have check that you are correct, but usually, when it comes to love, our heritage provides us with a natural instinct about such things. We have to do the test to be sure that we are not mistaken, but we are rarely wrong about love. This is where we are the most powerful. Our strength is being able to choose wisely when it comes to the heart. You have always loved Nick. Trust your natural instincts and let the test show you that you are right, that he is your chosen one”. After hearing Aunt Sarah speak, I realised that there was so much that we hadn’t discussed. So many things I needed to understand and be prepared for in the future. I really had not discussed my natural powers or instincts with her at all as there had never been enough time. I suddenly realised that I needed a lot more

time with Aunt Sarah between now and my vows to properly prepare myself. “Thank you so much, Aunt Sarah. I had no idea”, I explained to her. “No, I’m sorry”, Aunt Sarah said. “We really need to spend some time together to prepare you for your future. You need some time to learn about what it really means to be you. Promise me you will make time to come back here after your school year is finished, Olivia”. I knew Aunt Sarah was right. I had so much to learn. I had to get all of this right to do my vows and the clock was ticking. “I promise I will, after this term ends. I will come back for some time in the summer break”, I replied. “Excellent”, Aunt Sarah said. “I’ll arrange it with your parents. Don’t worry about it now. Call me when you have the blood results back, ok?” “Ok”, I said and I blew a kiss into the phone to Aunt Sarah and hung up. She was a life saver. About a week later, Dad called me at home from work. He told me that my blood test results were back and that they were available for me to collect from the pathology lab where I had been working in the afternoons. I felt sick in my stomach. Part of me could not get to the lab fast enough, while the other part of me did not want to go. I did not want to end the dream of my vows and being with Nick forever. It didn’t take me long to get to the lab. When I arrived a package was in the delivery basket with my name on it. I picked up the package, thanked the receptionist and left. By the time I was outside, I was desperate to rip open the envelope and look at the results. I then realised that a public meltdown on my part would not be terribly smart, so I needed to wait till I got home and gave myself some privacy. At home I knew I could deal with anything. I could face my worst fears and I could work through my problems. So when I walked inside and Mum confronted me at the door, I wasn’t too worried. I walked past her to my room with my envelope and closed my door. Then there was a knock on the door and it was Mum again.

“Are you in there Olivia?” she asked. “Yes Mum,” I sighed, “come in”. Mum came into my room and this time I noticed she looked concerned. I must have been so focused on what I wanted to do, that I hadn’t noticed. “What is it, Mum?” I asked. “It’s Aunt Sarah”, she said, “She’s been trying to you all day. Apparently it’s urgent. Can you call her please?” “Sure”, I said, and Mum left my room. I opened my bag and noticed my phone was out of charge. I was really cranky with myself as I knew how important it was for Aunt Sarah and I to remain in constant at all times. I placed my phone into the charger and while it was charging I rang Aunt Sarah. When Aunt Sarah answered the phone she sounded on edge. “Hello”, she said. “Aunt Sarah, it’s me”, I replied. “I’m so sorry my phone was out of charge. What’s wrong?” As Aunt Sarah spoke I was shocked with what she had to say. She had been ed by someone from the council, Marina’s sister Jade. Jade had told Aunt Sarah that there was a breakaway group and they were very unhappy with the decision made by the council . Apparently the breakaway group was keen to punish Sarah and I for what had happened. They believed that neither of us should live and that we were both signs of the devil. This information somehow did not surprise me. Aunt Sarah and I both knew that people would not be happy with what had occurred surrounding my creation. Aunt Sarah seemed incredibly shaken up. I knew I needed to make sure that Aunt Sarah was alright. “This isn’t so surprising”, I said to Aunt Sarah. “We knew that some people would be unhappy ”, I explained. “You’re right,” replied Aunt Sarah, “but I guess I didn’t expect them to come after us so soon. I’m so sorry Olivia, this is all my fault”.

Hearing Aunt Sarah so frightened really upset me. She was normally so wise and so strong, again it was my time to lead the way. “I don’t want you to apologise or worry Aunt Sarah”, I said. “I’ve not noticed anything unusual here and I promise to you if I do. In the meantime, there is nothing more we can do. As soon as this school term is over, I’ll come and visit again and we can talk about this more. What do you think?” I could hear Aunt Sarah breathe again on the other end of the phone. She then said, “I forget how strong you have become Olivia. This is why you are a target. People are afraid of your strength and courage.” “Well I’m fine and you’re fine”, I replied. “Until this changes, we need to carry on as normal.” “Alright,” Aunt Sarah said, “but please keep your phone charged and with you at all times.” “I promise Aunt Sarah. I’m going to attach it to the chain and hang it around my neck and have it with me at all times, ok?” “Yes,” she replied “and I’ll do the same”. With that we both hung up. After the call I went downstairs and told Mum that I had spoken to Aunt Sarah and things were ok. Mum was fine about it. She knew that there were some things that Aunt Sarah and I needed to talk about and she understood that those matters remained private between us. “As long as everything is ok”, Mum asked. “Yes,” I replied, “everything is fine Mum. I don’t want you to worry. We are fine.” Mum smiled and hugged me. “I’m so proud of you”, she said. “You’re growing into a responsible young lady.” I hugged Mum back. “Thanks Mum, I love you too”. It took me a few minutes to , the results. They were still upstairs in my room. I left Mum again and went back to my room. I shut the door and sat on my

bed with the package. Before I opened it I held it to my heart, closed my eyes and said a quiet prayer to myself. I felt the need to do something symbolic, not that I could do anything to change the results at this point. After the moment had ed, I opened my eyes again. I knew there was nothing more I could do to delay this moment. When I looked at the results they were long and complicated. There was a lot of information on the pages and the only real results I wanted to find were mine and Nick’s. Suddenly all the names with “Rose” in them stood out on the page and this led me to my name. From there I took deep breaths as I found Nick’s. When I knew the outcome I started to cry. There are so many types of tears. Tears of joy, pain, relief and pride. I just couldn’t stop crying. I thought that I was more composed but I wasn’t. My tears were pure joy and relief. Aunt Sarah was right; I had to learn to trust my own judgement. Nick was my exact blood match. We were compatible, even in our biology. I grabbed my phone again and rang Aunt Sarah. “Hello”, Aunt Sarah answered. “Aunt Sarah,” I said, “I’ve got the results and guess what? Nick is an exact match!” “Of course he is!” she replied. “I never doubted you for a moment.” “Thanks Aunt Sarah,” I said. “I had no idea what I would have done if Nick wasn’t the one.” “Well now you don’t have to figure that out” Aunt Sarah replied. We said goodbye and hung up again.

Graduation

The following weeks were filled with study. Nick and I had limited time together as we prepared for end of year exams. Phoebe was back at school and studying as well. She wanted to show that she was smart as well as an athlete. She was aiming for top classes for her subjects for the next two years and so was I. When we did get together, Phoebe and I surfed, ate and talked about our futures. I was always cooking for us. I loved creating either a meal or a treat and everyone enjoyed it. The truth was that cooking relaxed me. When I was tense and uncertain about a something, I would go and cook and think. Cooking helped me come up with different ideas and solutions. I knew that I was more tense than usual and that I was concerned about exams. However, I had another two years at school to get things right. I was aware that I was having some sleepless nights. During the day, I felt as if I was being watched, but whenever I turned round, there was never anybody there. I had a continuous internal feeling of paranoia. It was like a fear of something going wrong or that people were out to get me. Mum noticed that I wasn’t sleeping well. She was talking to me about whether I was worried about my exams and I itted that I was. She was fine about it. Mum told me that it was normal to be uneasy and that it showed that I cared. She made me feel more normal in my behaviour. I started to ignore my feelings and just got on with the job of studying. By the time my exams arrived I felt relieved. I just wanted to get them over and done with. I heard Phoebe say to Nick that she wished she had been able to have another month of preparation, but I would never have made it. I needed to get these exams done, get a proper night’s sleep and feel normal again. I was certain that my paranoia was related to my sleep deprivation. I was delighted on the day that we completed the last of our exams. We were now able to prepare for our year ten graduation and this ceremony was being held on the last day of school. First, there was a formal ceremony with the teachers, our families and all the students. Then later that night, the students

went to a dinner and party with their teachers which was held in the school hall. The hall was decorated especially for the event and Phoebe, Nick and I decided it was time to go shopping for an outfit. We wore our school uniform during the day event, so we just needed something nice for the evening. Shopping together for our clothes was a nice way to unwind. We shopped and laughed so much together, but got everything we needed. I enjoyed the fuss of buying a completely new outfit. Nick found some nice tros and a gorgeous shirt. We also found him some black leather shoes that were shiny and pointy and I loved them. Phoebe was not as keen for a dress, but after trying a few on found something she liked. We had a running joke that she would have attended in swimmers if they’d let her! I also found a dress that I liked and we were pleased with our purchases. The best thing for me was spending a day with my two best friends and not stressing about school anymore. Finally I could start to relax and unwind a bit. A few days prior to graduation Aunt Sarah called me on my mobile. She was worried. She had been waking up in the night in sweats and she was sure that it was a sign that something was wrong. I assured Aunt Sarah that I was ok and that I had settled down considerably since my exams had finished. Aunt Sarah said that she was going to the council to see if they had heard of any problems as she was not satisfied with my own feelings settling down. She was going to get back to me as soon as she could. I understood where Aunt Sarah was coming from. I had been feeling fairly paranoid a few weeks ago. I remained on edge but was unwinding with Nick and Phoebe. I promised I would keep in touch with Aunt Sarah. The day before graduation we were all getting very excited. Our plan was to attend graduation during the day with our parents, then get changed at Phoebe’s house and go to the dinner and party. I was going to spend the night with Phoebe at her house. We were going to get a taxi to and from dinner and pick Nick up on the way, dropping him home on the way back. Phoebe and I spent the day getting our clothes together at her house so we were ready for the next day. After we had organised things at Phoebe’s house I decided to go home for an early night.

“Are you ok? Phoebe asked. “Sure”, I replied. “I must be tired or something. I’m sure I’ll feel better after a night’s rest.” “I think you’re nervous about our plans tomorrow”, Phoebe said. “Don’t worry. You’ll do just fine and we’ll have a great evening together. I can’t wait”. Phoebe was right, I was probably feeling uptight. It was a big day tomorrow; we were finishing our junior years of high school. Our parents were coming to the school to see us graduate from year ten and then we were going to party! I had been so busy this year that I was probably just feeling exhausted. After I’d been at home for an hour or so, Nick came over. He was really excited. “I can’t wait for tomorrow,” he said, “graduation, dinner and a party all in one day, aren’t you excited?” ”Sure”, I replied. Nick stopped and looked at me with surprise. “What’s up?” he asked. “I think I’m just tired”, I said. “Nothing a good night’s sleep won’t fix and then I’ll be as bouncy as you”. Nick smiled at me. “I forget how busy you’ve been lately. Of course you’re tired. I’m going to leave you to get some rest but I’ll be back here in the morning to go to school, ok?” “Sounds like a plan” I replied. Nick gave me a big hug and I held him tight. He understood me so well, and I was always grateful for that. “See you in the morning!” I called out as he walked away. “I’ll be waiting for you”, Nick said, and I watched him go out the door. Mum caught my eye as Nick left. “I’m off to get a good night’s sleep”, I said to Mum as we ed each other. “Excellent idea”, Mum said and she kissed me goodnight. After a nice bath and washing my hair, I got into bed. It felt like I had not slept for ages, so I rolled

over and closed my eyes. I didn’t sleeping or dreaming, but when I woke the next morning I felt terrible. “Maybe you’re coming down with something?” Mum asked. “Maybe”, I replied. I knew that I had to go to graduation today, so I got dressed for school as usual, even though I felt lousy. When Nick arrived his face dropped as soon as he saw me. “What’s wrong?” he asked. “I don’t know”, I replied. “I went to bed but it feels like I didn’t sleep at all, I feel awful and Mum thinks I may be coming down with something”. Nick took my hand and sat me down on the lounge with him. He looked worried. “You know it’s only graduation?” he said. “You’ve sat all the exams, so maybe you should stay at home”. “Are you kidding?” I replied. “I haven’t done all that work to miss today.” Nick didn’t seem at all happy with my reply. He said nothing for a bit and then said, “Ok but if you get unwell you must promise me that you’ll come home”. “I promise I will if I need to”, I replied. Nick was happy with that compromise and so I continued to get ready for school. While I was packing my bag my little phone rang. “Aunt Sarah?” I asked. “Yes Olivia. I know that its graduation today so I just wanted to wish you Good Luck”. “Thanks”, I replied. “Are you ok?” Aunt Sarah asked. “I just don’t feel myself, nothing that some rest won’t fix”. “Ok, please be careful, love you”. “Love you too”.

Once we were ready, I kissed Mum and Dad goodbye as I was meeting them at the ceremony at school, then Nick and I left for school together. I just put how I felt out of my mind. If it had been any other day, I definitely would have just stayed in bed. Once we got to school the day seemed to by quickly. We met Phoebe, did the morning assembly and entered the hall for graduation. Prior to the parents arriving, we had to get all the chairs in front of the main stage in rows for everyone to sit on. This took about an hour and then everyone started to arrive. We were seated in alphabetical order and so while the ceremony went on I was not near Phoebe or Nick. I didn’t know if I had a fever or something but the events ed me by like a bit of a dream. When my name was called out I looked out and saw my parents standing in the hall in front of their chairs. I gave them a smile and waved my certificate of graduation at them and returned to my seat. After the ceremony ended, we all saw our parents for a while. A luncheon was served and we hung around until it seemed safe to leave. When Phoebe and I considered that the time had come to go, we walked my parents to their car, I gave them my graduation certificate and then we drove back to Phoebe’s house with her parents. “How are you feeling?” Phoebe asked in the car. “You’re not looking so good today”. “I feel terrible”, I replied. “I don’t know how long I’ll be able to go out for tonight, I’d just like to go to bed.” “Maybe you should get some rest for a few hours”, Phoebe suggested. “We have ages ‘til we have to go out for dinner. If you’re not well enough tonight, everyone will understand”. “What about Nick?” I said. “Actually it was Nick who suggested it to me before we left. He’s worried about you and doesn’t want you to get any worse”. I sat and thought about it for a while. It actually made sense. I felt so terrible that I couldn’t even imagine getting dressed to go out. “Can your parents drop me home?” I asked.

“Sure”, Phoebe said. The next thing I knew I was waving Phoebe goodbye. I really couldn’t see myself going out tonight but going to bed might improve my chances. When I got inside Mum and Dad were arranging some travel bags. “What are you guys up to?” I asked. Mum blushed, “Err well, you’re out tonight so we were going to have the night away. Are you ok?” Mum asked, changing the subject. “I don’t feel right,” I said, “so I’m going to get some rest before tonight. You guys go though. I‘ll be fine”. “Are you sure?” Mum asked, “Sure, nothing some rest won’t fix. I’ll call you if I need you”. “I’m sure she’ll be fine”, Dad said. “She’s a good girl, and even if she sleeps all night we will be back here in the morning to see her again”. Mum seemed happy with Dad’s reply. She grabbed her bag and left with Dad. I got a glass of water and went to bed. I got out of my school clothes, put my pyjamas on and got into bed. It felt like I needed to sleep for days. I could hear the ocean in the distance and I thought how lovely it sounded. I must have drifted off quickly as I don’t hearing another thing.

Captured

When I woke my vision was blurred. I felt very dizzy and I was not sure whether I could stand. I wondered what time it was; it was so dark. My surroundings felt different. I couldn’t hear the ocean. I felt uncomfortable and then I realised I was tied up. My wrists, ankles and knees were tied with rope. My mouth was dry and was taped shut. My eyes tried desperately to focus however it was like I was blind. I tried to sit up, but instead, I banged my head and it hurt. As I dropped back down I landed on something solid, but soft. What was that? I wondered. I was definitely in a confined space of some kind and it was dark. I moved my arms to enable my hands to feel under my head. I felt something hard, rubbery and thick and it was round in shape. I smelt it and decided I was resting on a tyre. I stretched out and rolled around as much as I could. There were lots of odd objects around me, some material or towel and some solid metal shapes. My eyes were adjusting to the lack of light and suddenly I could see, just a little. Even though it was dark, there was some light coming in and from the little I could see, I realised where I was. I was in the boot of a car. My mind started racing. How did I get here? Who’s done this to me? Why am I like this? What’s going on? How long am I going to be here? Am I safe? So many questions going around my brain. It was then that I heard some footsteps coming towards me so I lay there very still. My heart was pounding and I focused on staying still and quiet. “Should we check on her?” I heard a woman say. Another woman replied, “No, she’ll still be asleep. I can’t imagine anyone being awake yet after the dose we gave her”. The women laughed and the footsteps moved away from the boot. I then heard doors open and shut. I could hear the women chatting briefly and then the car started up. Once the car started I couldn’t hear the voices anymore. The engine was noisy and the car started moving. It wasn’t comfortable in the boot. I also realised I was sliding in and out of consciousness. I knew that I should try to stay awake and think of what to do. After what felt like a short period of time I thought about Aunt Sarah and the phone she had given me. I lifted my hands that were tied together by the wrist,

up to my chest. My little phone was there. I had put it in a case and kept it hanging around my neck under my clothes for presentation day. I started to feel a bit better. I could feel my mind becoming more focused and it made me stronger. I wriggled around until I could pull the chain attached to my phone through the neck of my shirt. Eventually I managed to grip my phone. Although my wrists were tied together I could still use my fingers. I managed to open the case. The tape was still on my mouth so I carefully removed it. It hurt to peel the tape off, but it felt fantastic once it was removed. I stuck the tape onto my shirt in case I needed to put it on again later. After my phone powered up I rang Aunt Sarah. When she answered the phone she said almost immediately, “Olivia, where are you?” ”How did you know?” I replied. “This morning when I spoke to you, you definitely weren’t yourself. I haven’t slept for days as I felt something was going to happen. What’s wrong? Please tell me you’re ok?” There was no way of breaking it gently to Aunt Sarah. We had no secrets. “Things aren’t good”, I whispered, through fear of the two women I had heard earlier hearing me. “I wasn’t feeling well, so instead of going to my graduation dinner I went to bed”. “How are you feeling now?” Aunt Sarah interrupted. “Not so good”, I said. “I’ve woken up and I’m tied up in a car boot. I think someone drugged me. I feel really drowsy and keep drifting off to sleep”. “Drugged you? A car boot? Tied up?” Aunt Sarah screamed back over the phone. “I knew you were in danger. I should never have let you be alone at this time. When the council rang me I knew you wouldn’t be safe. Do you know who has taken you or where you are?” she asked. “No idea” I said. “If I figure that out I will be the first to tell you. At this stage all I know is that I have been drugged and that two women are driving me in a car. They think I am still asleep from the drugs, what should I do?” Aunt Sarah was quiet for a moment and then replied, “I’ll call Melina and we‘ll find you. Your phone is the key. It has a tracking device in it. It was Melina who organised the phone as she feared that someone would try to harm you. I’ll have

the tracking device activated and we’ll come and get you. In the meantime, do not draw attention to yourself. You need to stay safe and do nothing to cause them to harm you. Pretend that you’re asleep. Do that for as long as you can. Even when you have to be awake remain drowsy and confused. While you appear helpless you are less of a threat to them and in turn you will be protecting yourself. If you appear strong, they’ll want to harm you. Be smart Olivia. Put your phone on silent and hide it. I will call you only if it is an emergency. Otherwise I ask you just to wait and we’ll find you. Do you understand?” I understood. My life depended on me playing this correctly. I thought about Aunt Sarah, she had been prepared and Melina would find me. I thought about home and Mum and Dad. I realised that I needed Aunt Sarah to do something for me. “Aunt Sarah”, I asked. “Yes Olivia”, she replied. “I need you to do something for me please”. “What is it Olivia? “I need you to ring Phoebe as she’ll be wondering where I am. Ring her and say that you are going to be with me and that you have told me to stay at home. Say that I am sick and that you are worried about infection. Tell her that both her and Nick must keep away from me and that they should not call me as I need to get some rest. This will avoid anyone looking for me. You might want to ring Mum and Dad and say I am resting too as they are away for the night and might come checking if I don’t answer the home phone”. “No problem”, Aunt Sarah said. “Are you ok otherwise?” “I guess so, just hurry, ok?” I replied. “Of course. I love you Olivia, don’t you forget it”. “I love you too Aunt Sarah. I’m going to hang up so you can hurry”. “I’m on my way Olivia”, she replied and hung up.

After I hung up the phone I made sure that I put my phone on silent but left it on vibrate before tucking it back under my clothing down the neck of my top. I then got the tape and put it back on my mouth. I was going to get some rest for now while I could; I needed to be alert when I needed it. As the car moved, I couldn’t hear anything above the engine noise. After a while the sound of the engine was like a lullaby. I fought to stay awake for a long time. I thought it was important to make sure I was safe and ready for whatever was ahead. However, after a while I couldn’t fight the desire for sleep any longer. My eyes became so heavy that I could no longer hold them open and my plan to be rest became my only option.

The Dream

“Have you heard from her?” Phoebe said in a panicked voice to Nick. “No, I thought she was with you”, Nick explained. “Oh Nick, she was so sick”, Phoebe continued. “I had to let her go home to rest, she was going to call me when she woke up, but when I didn’t hear from her, I thought I would call you and check if you had heard anything.” “Alright”, Nick said. “I’ll go in and see what’s going on. Talk to you soon”, and Nick hung up the phone. Nick looked outside his kitchen window. Olivia’s house was in darkness, except for the front door light which was always left on at night. He wondered why he hadn’t heard from Olivia. Even if she was sick she would have called, but now it was half an hour before their big night out and she was no-where to be seen. Nick poured a drink from the fridge. He was thirsty, excited, worried and most of all missing Olivia. Finally their exams were over and they could spend more time together. He had been looking forward to just kicking back with Olivia for weeks. He had been studying really hard over the past few months. He had seen his parents struggle financially all his life and as a consequence, he was focused on getting a good education so he could himself and Olivia in the future. Nick was not angry with his parents. He knew that they had tried hard and provided well enough for his family, but things had been tough, especially after they had separated. Nick did not want this for Olivia, he wanted more. Nick’s parents did not pressure him for results, he managed to do that himself. The phone rang again and it was Phoebe. “Oh thank goodness I got you”, Phoebe said. “I just got a call from Olivia’s Aunt Sarah. She’s spoken to Olivia and she’s not well. She has asked us to just leave her alone and let her sleep, so it’s probably best not to go to the house. I promised we wouldn’t and that we would let her rest. Aunt Sarah is coming to be with her”.

Nick thought this was very strange. Why wouldn’t Olivia want to see him, even if she was sick? “I think I’ll forget about tonight and go and sit with Olivia”, Nick said. “What do you think?” Phoebe was getting upset. First Olivia wasn’t coming, now Nick and she had just promised Olivia’s aunt that they wouldn’t go over to the house. “Look Nick,” Phoebe said with some a harsh tone in her voice, “someone is coming with me to this thing tonight. If it’s not going to be Olivia, it has to be you. Plus, I just promised Olivia’s aunt that we wouldn’t bother Olivia. I’ve just been through all of this on the phone already and promised, so be a sport and take me to our graduation dinner, ok!” Nick stopped and thought about it. Perhaps Phoebe was right. Olivia needed to rest and they could give her all the gossip from the evening tomorrow. It also seemed that Aunt Sarah was on her way and he didn’t want to offend her. “Ok”, Nick said. “Right”, said Phoebe. “My parents are about to leave and they’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes”. Phoebe hung up. Nick stood still for a minute. It seemed wrong to him to go without Olivia tonight. He was uncertain as to what to do, so he reached for the notepad and pen that his dad kept by the phone. Nick then sat down with his drink at the kitchen table and before he had time to think too much, he wrote Olivia a note:

My dearest Livie, I am sitting at the kitchen table, getting ready to go out to our graduation dinner, and you are not here. I have been looking forward to this night with you for ages, seeing you all dressed up, holding your hand and showing the world that you are my beautiful girlfriend. I am so proud having you as my girl. You make my world and I can’t imagine anything except being with you. You must be so disappointed and unwell not to be able to come tonight. My

whole being tells me not to go to the graduation party tonight and to be with you instead, but your Aunt Sarah has rung and given Phoebe and I strict instructions to leave you alone and let you rest. I don’t want to go tonight without you as there seems no point in it, but I also know Aunt Sarah and how close you two are, so if she’s telling me to stay away, then I must accept what she says, even if it makes no sense. Livie, if you wake up and you need or want me to come to you, please call me. My phone will be on. Take care. You are always in my heart All my love, Nick xxxx

Nick finished his drink and placed his glass in the sink. He then ripped the note out of the notepad, put it in an envelope and wrote Olivia’s name on the front. He then walked into the lounge room where his dad was watching television. “You look very smart mate”, he said. “Thanks dad”, Nick replied. Nick’s dad then got up and gave him a hug. This was not common in Nick’s household and he hugged his dad back. Not one to show emotion, Nick’s dad was obviously touched by his son growing up into such a wonderful young man. Nick then stepped outside and waited for Phoebe’s parents to arrive. While Nick was waiting, he ran over to Olivia’s house and slid his note under the front door for Olivia. As the note slid under, Nick could see Phoebe’s arm waving widely at him as her parents drove up to the front of his house. “Jump in handsome”, Phoebe said to Nick. “You’re not getting another crush on me, are you?” Nick asked. Phoebe laughed with Nick as he got in the car and they looked out the window to Olivia’s house. “Have you heard anything from Olivia?” Phoebe’s mum asked Nick. “No” Nick replied. “She must be very tired. Her aunt has told us to let her rest”. “Good idea”, Phoebe’s mum said and they drove to the school hall.

When they arrived at the school hall, all their friends and teachers along with some parents were already there. They had planned for this evening all year; there was food and entertainment for the night, they had put up streamers and balloons all over the place and there was a big “congratulations” sign hanging at the front door. Phoebe’s parents gave Phoebe a kiss goodbye and then drove away. “Looks great”, Phoebe said. “Yeah”, replied Nick. “Have you got your camera? We must take some photos for Olivia!” “Sure”, said Phoebe. “That’s a great idea. She won’t miss the night after all!” As Phoebe and Nick made their way through the crowd, they spent the night laughing with their friends and taking photos of each moment so they could show them to Olivia. “You’re not going to be down all night are you?” Phoebe asked Nick. “No, I am going to snap out of it, but we will have to make it up to her by doing something special, the three of us, what do you say?” “Of course! That would be fun!” From that moment on, Nick started to relax and enjoy the night. He knew that he would make it up to Olivia somehow. Throughout the evening Nick checked his phone. He was expecting a message from Olivia, but there was nothing. “Have you heard anything?” Phoebe asked. “Nothing”, said Nick. “Should I be worried?” “No, she adores you Nick. We all know that. She’s just sick. If something was up Aunt Sarah would have said”. Nick wasn’t satisfied with this answer. It had been too long without any word from Olivia. He walked out and sat in the street. After a minute to clear his mind, he rang Aunt Sarah himself and spoke to her. After the call he returned to the party. Phoebe saw him enter and came up to him. “Are you okay?” she asked. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere”.

“I rang Aunt Sarah”, Nick said. “You’re right. Olivia is unwell and we just have to wait ‘til tomorrow to see her”. “You didn’t believe me?” Phoebe said sarcastically. “I should have believed you it’s just that I miss her that’s all”. Nick explained. “So do I Nick, but we have to do this tonight, for Olivia”, Phoebe said. Nick knew that Phoebe was right. She wouldn’t want them to be miserable; she would want them to be laughing and dancing and making memories. With that, Nick took Phoebe by the hand and ran to the dance floor and they danced the night away. By two in the morning, they were asked to have their last dance and Nick and Phoebe took their last photograph for Olivia. “I can’t wait to show all these photos to Olivia”, Nick said. “Me too”, replied Phoebe. “We did it. We did it for her”.

The Plan

Imust have fallen into a deep sleep when I awoke to feeling the car stopping, I felt as if I was in a daze. My initial reaction was to try to sit up again, forgetting where I was. I bumped my head and then fell back down to the tyre on the floor which had been my resting place. It was then that I ed that this wasn’t a bad dream. I was trapped. I heard two car doors open and shut. “We’ll have to check on her”, one woman said. “Sure”, said the other. “It’s been a few hours now. Let’s see how she’s doing”. As the boot opened I closed my eyes and lay very still. My mind was racing. My mind was screaming at me don’t move a muscle or do anything that could draw attention to the fact that you have been awake. You must pretend to be asleep. After a short period of time, one woman said, “Huh, not so tough now is she? I don’t know what all the fuss is about with this one. Why don’t we just finish her off now eh?” “Are you stupid?” the other woman said. “She is worth so much more to us alive than dead. She is the key to controlling the council. Let’s just let her sleep and continue on our way”. With that, the boot door was carefully shut and I was safe again. My heart was pounding and I wanted to scream. I wanted to escape. Every part of my body wanted to try to jump up and get out of that boot but Aunt Sarah was right. I had to pretend to sleep for as long as I could. It was very clear to me now that my life depended on it. I heard doors open and shut again. The engine started straight away without any further conversation and we were on the move once more. I suddenly felt more relaxed when the car was moving. I understood that I was definitely safer while I remained sleeping in this boot. I started to hope that the drive was a long one. I had no real idea how long I’d

been in the boot, but I knew I needed time for Melina and Aunt Sarah to find me. I had no idea where we were driving to or what to expect once we got there. Again I felt an overpowering need to sleep however I wanted to stay awake and alert. I started thinking about my options. What if Melina didn’t find me in time? Should I try to escape? What if that backfires and I draw unnecessary attention to myself and I’m hurt, or even worse, killed, trying to escape? My mind started to panic. I wanted to get out. I could kick around the back of the car where the back lights were so that I could try to get my hand out and get someone’s attention. But if no-one sees me, the women will stop the car knowing that I’m awake and then what? As I wriggled in my crumpled position in the boot, I felt my phone press into my body. It reminded me that I was not alone. I once more manoeuvred the phone out from under my clothes and up to my face. I carefully removed the tape from my mound and stuck it close by so I could reuse it and I called Aunt Sarah. “Aunt Sarah?” I whispered. “Are you there?” I could hear her breathing on the other end of the phone, but she was saying nothing. “Aunt Sarah?” I asked again. “Are you ok?” Still there was nothing. I decided to hang up and try again. Maybe the line wasn’t right, maybe she couldn’t hear me. Just as I went to dial again, the car stopped. I started to panic. My mind started screaming at me turn the phone off, put it away and the tape on. I got the phone away quickly, however as I went to grab the tape I couldn’t find it. I heard the car doors slam shut one after the other and footsteps walking towards the boot of the car. My wrists were tied but my hands and fingers were madly feeling around in the boot to find the tape. As the boot latch was released I knew it was too late. As the boot slowly opened I wasn’t sure what to do. Would it be best if I was awake or asleep without the tape? Asleep, I thought, definitely asleep. If I show them any sign of power I am in trouble. So I closed my eyes again and pretended to be asleep. “She’s been moving”, one of them said. “Yeah” said the other. “The tape’s gone from her mouth but she’s sleeping. Do we put some more tape on her?”

“Nah, it might wake her. We don’t want any extra trouble. Just let her sleep while we wait for the others”. Who are we waiting for I wondered? I could feel my heart pounding much louder than before. I was itchy too and I tried desperately not to move. Suddenly I felt like there was no way I going to be able to lie there any longer. I had no idea if they were looking at me or not. Would they notice a twitch or a shuffle? Why don’t they just close the boot? As my body became unsettled to the point that I was in fear of endangering myself, I heard another car come up beside us. When it stopped I could smell rubber from the tyres. Again I heard doors open and then slam shut. “Do you have her?” one female voice asked. “Sure do”, replied one of the female voices from my car. “Fabulous”, the first woman said. “I think it’s time for us to collect our prize”. Now I was feeling sick. Too much time was ing and I had no idea what lay ahead. The only thing I felt sure about was that I was in serious danger. The next thing I knew the rope, which tied my ankles together, was being cut. Then they lifted me out of the boot and placed my feet onto the ground. I was being held up. I was still pretending that I was asleep and remained limp. Then someone started slapping my face. “Wake up”, she demanded. “Open your eyes for the last time and let me look at you”. When I opened my eyes it was dusk. I could see the three women looking at me. They were smiling at each other and at me. I decided to say nothing. “Cat got your tongue?” one woman asked. The others laughed. “Maybe she’s too frightened to speak. I don’t think she’s worth the fuss. Let’s just end it all here and be done with it”. I tried not to react. I didn’t want to speak and I wasn’t going to let them see any fear in my eyes. So I looked at the ground and just listened. I only looked up when I had to. I was determined not to let them get to me.

“Let’s get her moving”, one woman said. “Sure”, said another. With that they lifted me up by the elbows and started to march me along the road. We didn’t go too far when I saw a house on the side of road. It was not well lit but it was the only place to be seen in the middle of what seemed to be nowhere. As we got close to the house, a light came on to the side. There was a shed out the back. “There it is”, said one woman. “We’re to go in there. I could not see anyone else about. It was now a dark night but the moon was providing enough light for us to get about. I wondered who was inside the house. Were any of these women at the council meeting I attended? I had been so overwhelmed that day that I had not taken enough notice of the people before me. I decided that since my eyes were not covered and that I was concentrating, I should start to take notice of things, no matter how frightened I was. As we approached the front of the shed, one woman walked ahead and knocked on the door. “Who is it?” a voice from inside asked. “Veronica”, was the reply. With that the door opened and I was led inside. The shed was filled with a small group of women. They were varied in their ages but all eyes were staring at me. “What do we have here?” one of the women inside said. “That wasn’t so difficult” another gloated. Everyone started to laugh. While they were laughing I was taken to the corner of the shed. It was lit by lanterns but it was not very light. I was placed in the corner and sat down, where I was handcuffed to a pipe coming out from the wall. “Has she said anything?” one woman asked. “Not a thing” said another.

I focused on my composure. They wanted to see me frightened or suffering but I wasn’t going to show them any of that. I made myself as comfortable as I could. I kept my ears listening but my eyes down. My wrists were still tied and I was cuffed to the pipe. Other than that I was free to move my legs. I noticed the women sat down around a long wooden table. There were ten of them. One lady stood up and said: “Ladies, thank you for coming here tonight. We have all travelled to be together to complete our mission. It is our unfortunate but necessary task to end the life of one of us. Now, as tragic as that sounds, this life should never have been created. Some say that this life was created by accident, one that is strictly forbidden. Throughout the many generations of women before us, we have chosen to follow a strict code. When it was decided that this girl should live, our code was broken. We are here tonight to demonstrate strength and unity. We need to be strong and do what should have been done some months ago. Let us now prepare the altar”. It was now very clear that the council was very torn in their decision regarding my fate on my sixteenth birthday. At the time, I really did not believe that the choice of death was an option for a group of women. Now I knew otherwise. I watched as a red cover was removed from a platform next to me. A woman walked up to the platform and surrounded it with candles. She then slowly lit each one. I felt shivers down my spine as she made these preparations. I felt helpless, so I closed my eyes, just for a moment, and let my mind wander. In my mind I saw my family and friends. There was Mum, Dad, Brooke, Aunt Sarah, Nick and Phoebe. They were standing together and smiling at me. Seeing their faces made me feel warm inside and I let my mind linger there with them for a moment. This was where I needed to be, with the people who loved me. I then promised myself that if the time came for my death, that I would close my eyes and return to this sanctuary. “Is she asleep again?” I heard one woman ask. “How much did you inject her with?” another woman queried. I decided to keep my eyes closed. They didn’t seem to like it and I didn’t want to please them in any way.

“Let her sleep for a bit while we prepare things. I thought we’d get a bit of a fight from her. I was looking forward to it”, another woman sighed. I kept my eyes closed. I wanted to look, I wanted to show them that they didn’t frighten me. They seemed to be taking their time while they thought I was sleeping and who knew how far away any rescue attempt was. After a considerable amount of time had ed, I heard a woman walk up to me. “Wake up”, she whispered in my ear before slapping me across the face. It hurt, but I said nothing. I refused to demonstrate any reaction to their treatment of me. I was then pulled up by my elbows and walked to the altar. It was now covered in white rose petals and looked quite beautiful. It appeared that my sacrifice was going to a traditional one. I was led up some stairs and asked to lie down on the altar. I took a deep breath and made my way through the circle of small candles, which surrounded the altar. It was then that I noticed a small flicker of light through one of the windows. It was quick and bright but deliberate. When I was a young girl I would play in the yard in the dark with Aunt Sarah. We would have a flashlight each and try and find each other. Every couple of minutes, no matter where we were hiding, we had to turn the flashlights on and off as quickly as we could. This would assist the other person in finding the other and always comfort us that the other was always there. I hadn’t thought about that game for years and there it was, a flicker. Could it be Aunt Sarah? “Keep moving”, one woman said. “Go and lie down lovely one”, she continued. “There’s no point standing there. Your path is inevitable and it’s time for you to die.” I stood very still as I wanted to see it again. I wanted to know that I wasn’t dreaming and that Aunt Sarah was out there. As I stood frozen, my eyes went from window to window. The rest of the women surrounded me and they were chanting; it was quite a powerful sound. Then I saw it again. It was by the window now on the other side of the barn. It had to be deliberate. “Stop”, said the woman in charge. “It seems that our princess has lost her way. Come on child, I’ll take your hand”. With that the woman stepped into the circle

and over the candles in front of her to the altar. She stood opposite me. Then she walked around the altar and took me by the hand. She smiled at me and told said, “Don’t worry. It is the fate of the gods”. As I felt her hand touch mine, there was a large explosion. It knocked me flying backwards into the wall behind me. The force separated me from the woman’s grasp. I could feel my head getting very cold but saw through a haze women with masks rushing in. One rushed past the dazed group at the altar and straight to me. She placed a mask over my face and looked deep into my eyes. It was Aunt Sarah. I felt my whole body collapse with relief and then the haze took over as I ed out.

Freedom

When I woke up my head was pounding. I moved my hands to touch my head and realised I was no longer tied up. Aunt Sarah was with me. “Sleep”, Aunt Sarah said in a soft voice. “Melina is driving us to my car and then I’m taking you home. We will need someone to look at that bang on your head”. As soon as I heard Aunt Sarah speak, I knew I was safe. I smiled at Aunt Sarah and started to relax. Thank goodness she found me. I wanted to speak but I was dizzy, then nothing. The next time I opened my eyes, I was lying in my own bed. I could see Aunt Sarah asleep in the chair beside me. I could smell the ocean and I knew that I was home. How nice it was to be back in my room again. My head throbbed, so I moved my hand to touch it. I could feel that it was bandaged and very sore. No sooner was I starting to come alive, when the wave of sleep pulled me under once more. I closed my eyes and thought to myself, this time I am not pretending, I am sleeping. The next thing I was Nick. “Wake up sleepy head”, I heard him say. As I tried to look at him the sunlight stung my eyes. “They said I could visit you today”, he continued. “I’ve been waiting for days”. Days? How long have I been sleeping for? I wondered. Aunt Sarah walked into the room and said, “Ah, you’re awake. Poor Nick has been waiting forever to see you, but the doctor insisted after your fever and your fall, that you get complete bed rest. We were under strict instructions that you not be disturbed for forty-eight hours. The doctor gave you some medicine to keep you sleeping. So how are you feeling now?” she queried. Aunt Sarah was a lifesaver. She was giving me all the clues I needed. Fever and fall, I took it all in and then replied, “I’m not sure, I don’t much”, I lied. Aunt Sarah smiled back at me in that understanding way of hers. She knew from my look at her that I was ok and most of all, she knew I was listening!

“It’s ok”, Aunt Sarah continued. “It seems that you came home after school graduation and your fever must have been so bad that that at some stage you fell and cut your head open. I spoke to you on your phone before your fall and you didn’t sound right, so I took it upon myself to come and see you. I found you on the floor in your bedroom and took you to the hospital. You’re all stitched up now and just have to recover. You know your mum and dad will be so pleased to see you awake when they come home from work”. “I’m so happy to see all of you”, I said. “You’re all important to me. I’m so lucky to have you all in my life.” Nick started to laugh. “I think she’s still feverish”, he commented to Aunt Sarah. “Don’t worry,” he said grinning down at me, “you’ll be back to yourself in no time. I think that the doctor was right. You’d better get some rest. Just close your eyes Livie and we’ll all wait here for you. Go back to sleep”. I didn’t need another offer; all I could think about was sleep. Even though I wanted to stay awake and ask Aunt Sarah lots of questions, I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. As I closed my eyes once more I thought about Nick and how lucky I was to have him in my life. It was amazing how you could let your mind focus on the good things and enable the bad thoughts to just drift away. The next thing I knew, I was iring a long table filled with freshly baked goodies. This looks sensational, I thought. Mum must have been baking for days to put all this together. As I moved forward to take a bite I woke up. “I’m starving”, I said out loud. I laughed to myself when I realised I had been dreaming. I felt movement in the bed with me. Someone was spooned against my back and it was only then that I noticed an arm around my waist. I looked at the hand and tears welled up inside me, “Mum?” I asked. “Are you ok?” I watched Mum wake up as she heard my voice. “Olivia,” she replied, “of course I’m ok. How are you feeling my darling?” “I’m starving Mum, what about you?” I said with a big grin on my face. Mum started to laugh and leaned forward and hugged me. “Oh Olivia”, she said. “It’s so nice to have you awake and talking again. I know the doctor wanted to let you sleep for as long as you needed, but I just couldn’t wait anymore. So I jumped into bed with you so I didn’t miss you the next time you woke up. I hope that was ok?” she queried.

“It was the perfect surprise, Mum!” I replied. “But what are we going to eat? I really am starving” As Mum and I made our way to the kitchen, I realised that it was dark outside. “What time is it?” I asked. “Five in the morning”, Mum said. “The sun will be up soon, so why don’t we just enjoy this time while we have it”, she continued. “Sure thing” I replied. Mum cooked up a storm and we sat and ate together. Mum told me that Aunt Sarah had been unable to sleep until yesterday. She had been waiting for me to wake and see that I was alright, so after her brief conversation with me yesterday she finally went to bed. Mum explained how grateful she was to Aunt Sarah. Mum repeated the story that she had driven over to me after our telephone conversation on the day of graduation. I realised it had been days since graduation at school and that there was so much to catch up on. “So Aunt Sarah is still here?” I asked Mum. “Yes but let her sleep”, she replied. “I am so pleased that the two of you are so close. I had no idea you were as sick as you were that day of the graduation. If Sarah hadn’t of found you, who knows what state you might have been in the next day when I came home”. I could hear the tension in Mum’s voice and I had to let her know I was ok. “You know Mum, I would have been fine and you would have patched me up just the same the next day. Please don’t feel bad about it”. Mum came over and held me. I held her tight too. We were a team and I needed Mum to know that. “I love you so much Mum”, I said to her. “I love you too my darling”, Mum replied. At that point we heard footsteps and then “What’s with the early morning cooking?” ”Daddy!” I squealed and I ran over to him and threw myself around him.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better Olivia”, he replied. “I woke up and I was starving”, I said to Dad and he started laughing. “Well there’s nothing wrong with you anymore!” he said. With that comment we all started to laugh. Dad was right of course. If I’m eating, I’m fine, no doubt about that. The next person to enter the kitchen was Aunt Sarah. She was staggering as it was still early and she was obviously well behind in her sleep. “Aunt Sarah, you look like you need some rest”, I said with a grin. “Well whose fault is that?” she replied. “Next time you’re sick and need help you might try calling someone else”. I winked at Aunt Sarah and she smiled back at me. We were linked for life, the two of us, there was no escaping it and we were fine about it. “I guess I’d better catch up with Nick and Phoebe today”, I said. “Sure”, said Mum. “You’re all on school holidays now for the summer. I bet you all need to get together and make some plans for your break”. “You can spend some time at my place again if you like”, Aunt Sarah said. “Nick can come if he’s allowed”, and she smiled at me. “Same sleeping arrangements as last time though, no funny stuff in my house young lady”. I ignored all of the teasing and general laughter at my expense at the breakfast table and thanked Aunt Sarah. “That would be nice”, I said. “She’s still not one hundred percent”, Dad leaned over and said to Mum with a puzzled look on his face. “She didn’t bite at that comment like she normally would.” “Hello?” I queried. “I’m sitting right here and I’m fine thank you”, I said to Dad. “I’m just a bit too tired still to get angry with anyone yet”. Dad smiled at me. I could see he was concerned but not making a big deal of things. As I drew my attention to him I noticed he looked a bit pale and not like himself. I wondered whether I had done that to him or if something else was on his mind.

“I’m going to get the paper”, Dad said and he got up from the table. “I’ll walk with you, Dad” I said and got up and ran out of the kitchen behind him. I put my arm around Dad’s waist and walked to the front door with him. “Are you ok, Dad?” I asked when we were out of earshot from Mum and Aunt Sarah. “I could never fool you, could I?” he replied. “What is it Dad? What’s wrong?” I asked. “They’ve found me”, Dad said. He looked genuinely concerned and it worried me. “Who’s found you, Dad?” I asked. “All my life I’ve done my best to lie low. If it wasn’t for the funeral. It was stupid and selfish now I think about having gone to it, and I took you. What was I thinking? Now they know who we are; they’ve found us”, he muttered. “What are you saying, Dad?” I replied. I still didn’t comprehend what he was trying to tell me. “They must have tracked me from the funeral and they’ve found me here. I received a note at work but nothing at home as yet. I don’t know what they want. I’ve installed alarm systems both at home and at work. I told your Mum that there have been some break-ins, so she has no idea. Please don’t tell her. I don’t want to her to worry”. “Calm down, Dad”, I said. “They can only upset us if we let them. I thought that whole town was strange, just forget them. We have our own life here and our friends. All they can do is try to scare us, but we won’t let them. It’s only a note, words; these things cannot really hurt us”. Dad smiled at me and then hugged me. “I’ve missed you so much Olivia. Don’t ever sleep for days again will you? You are so young and brave and you remind me of the person I was when I was your age. You are right of course. They can only get to us through our mind and our heart if we let them”.

I looked deep into Dad’s eyes. “You have always been so brave to me, Dad”, I told him. I moved forward and held Dad’s hand. We walked outside together to get the paper. “We’re a strong team, you and I and we’re not going to let these people get in the way of our family or our dreams”. As the words came out I realised Aunt Sarah was right. All that time ago she had told me that some of the women in the council were frightened of me. They were the ones who tried to kill me. They sensed the strength in me and they could not understand it, but Aunt Sarah did. My father’s strength made me a threat to others. Inside I feel it, the will to fight and survive. After everything that had happened over the past few days, I knew that I could be as strong as I needed to be. I also knew very clearly that I was not going to let those who feared me defeat me. As Dad and I walked back inside, I thought about Nick and Phoebe. I missed them both so much. “Have you seen Phoebe?” I asked Dad. “Of course”, he said. “She’s been in and out of the house for days now. Give her a ring”. I left Dad with his paper and went back to my room to call Phoebe. Her phone went to message and I realised that she would be in the surf, training. So I waited for the beep and said: “Phoebe, me? I’m awake! When you get this message I will be at Nick’s. Get yourself dry and come over. I miss you heaps and want to hear all about graduation. Apparently I missed everything! What’s the goss? Can’t wait to see you!” After I freshened up I went to Nick’s place. I found the spare key in the front garden pot and unlocked the front door. Everyone was still asleep. I tip-toed up to Nick’s room and found Nick asleep in his bed. Now it was my time to wait for him to wake up. I decided to lift up the blankets and follow Mum’s lead, so I lay down and spooned into Nick’s body. Nick stirred with the disturbance in his bed and opened his eyes. When he saw me he snuggled me closer towards him. He then smiled his gorgeous smile at me and said, “Well, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen”.

“I’ve missed you so much”. I itted. “I know my Livie”, Nick replied. “Aunt Sarah said you were calling out for me in your sleep, but I had to let you rest. Now you have to take it easy for a bit and let me fuss over you for a while”. I looked at Nick and felt my insides smiling. With him I could relax and get strong enough to prepare for the future, whatever lay ahead. He was my own private sanctuary. I gave him a long hug and he held me tight. It wasn’t long before my eyes became heavy and I needed to sleep again. “Sleep my angel”, he whispered to me. “Go to that beautiful place of your dreams and rest with me.” As I closed my eyes, I felt Nick’s fingers gently stroking my hair. As he did this, my mind started to wander. I thought about my friends, our dreams and our future. One day I hoped that Phoebe would be famous. It was definitely her dream and I wanted it for her. Nick’s dream was to be successful and he was smart enough to do that. And me? Well I hoped for a place near the ocean where all my family and friends could be together. A place with Nick that was peaceful and we could be safe. But for now, I had to rest. I knew this better than anyone. I had nearly died for being me and I was very aware that my battles were only just beginning. So I did as I was told and drifted off to sleep. As I travelled through my dreams I saw Nick sitting by the Jacaranda tree. He smiled and held his hand out to me. I placed my hand in his and lay down beside him. I let my head rest on Nick’s warm body and all my fears disappeared. With Nick I was home; I was swimming in the ocean and I was free.