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Lindsay Kenny – Ending Procrastination Once and For All Welcome to the Tapping World Summit 2011. This is your host, Jessica Ortner. By listening to this interview, you agree to the located at www.thetappingworldsummit.com/disclaimer. We hope this interview helps you become a healthier and a happier you. Is there something you’ve been meaning to do, but you just haven’t been able to come around to it? Procrastination shows up in many ways. Some people have trouble getting something started, while others struggle to complete a task. Regardless of how it shows up, it can leave us feeling anxious, guilty, and uneasy. If you are ready to take that step you’ve been avoiding, then I am happy that you are with us. We will be speaking with Lindsay Kenny from http://proeft.com . Lindsay is an EFT master, life coach and certified AAMET EFT Trainer of Trainers. She has been helping people transform their lives for over 35 years, and the last 10 years with EFT. Lindsay has worked with thousands of clients and students and is also the founder of the National Alliance for Emotional Health. I am so happy she is with us. Welcome, Lindsay. Lindsay Kenny:
Thank you, Jessica. Thanks for inviting me.
Jessica Ortner: Well this is a big topic; so many of us can relate to this. So I’d like to start by asking you: How does procrastination show up in people’s lives? Lindsay Kenny: Well that’s a good question. And it is a big problem. I would say probably, my guess, based on how many people I work with on this issue, maybe 60 or 70 percent of the population has a procrastination issue. And, I get them all. It’s one of the biggest stuck issues and it shows up in many ways in our lives. And I actually have it in two categories. I call them Type A and Type B - Kind of like Type A and Type B personalities. Because they’re the kind of people who are just what I call “indiscriminate procrastinators,” they just don’t do anything on time. They can’t get jobs started, or if they happen to be in the middle of one, they can’t seem to get it finished. They procrastinate at either end of the spectrum. There is also – it’s really about time. Procrastination. So often procrastinators are people who are late for appointments, not just getting things done. But they just are habitually late at stuff. Leaving late. Arriving late. And that becomes another issue in and of itself. I don’t know that people usually think of that as procrastination. But it ends up showing up with them not honoring commitments to themselves and others. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
They feel paralyzed to get anything done. They get the commitments done. And because they do everything at the last minute, their life is always in chaos. They feel rushed and other people feel uncomfortable around them. There’s an energy about them that is not good. It’s similar in many ways like that to clutter. They’re both stuck issues. But it just resonates with a sense of – really a vacuum for joy in their life. There’s a lack of joy and a lack of motivation or drive. A lot of people say, I just don’t seem to have a ion. I just can’t get myself motivated or going,,, to get things done. And what happens is they end up feeling very – they are and feel inconsistent and undependable and other people see them the same way. So those are some of the Type A of procrastinators. It’s just they live in a swirl of I can’t get anything done. And they’re always saying, I have to stop procrastinating, which keeps them further stuck. And then the Type B is a little bit easier to define, because they’re what I call project-putter-offers. Instead of just procrastinating everything, there’s one thing they just can’t seem to make themselves do… finish their dissertation for their PHD, or take a particular test that they need to do. It’s often a finish thing or they just can’t get a particular task started… get their resume completed or marry somebody. It can be all over the spectrum, but the rest of their things they get okay. But there’s one thing they just can’t seem to do. I’ve got a couple of examples of that. Do you want to hear a story or two? Jessica Ortner:
Sure. A story would be great.
Lindsay Kenny: I had a guy, Derek, who graduated top of his class. He went to aviator school – wanted to be a pilot. And he just whizzed through the ground part of it; learning the tests and really was sharp in class, and finished everything really well. He really got it. And he flew okay with his co-pilot. But he could not take the final test where you have to solo for so long. He called me and we worked and worked on that and it ended up being that a horrific fear of flying… but it was a fear of flying on his own. And here he is wanting to be a pilot and so he procrastinated for a million reasons. Oh the weather isn’t good. And this went on for 6 or 8 months. And with a little bit of working on him, we saw that it had other things associated with it. There was a reason he was putting it off and he was terrified of dying. One of his dear relatives had died in a plane crash – not alone – but still was an underlying cause for that. Once we cleared up that trauma, which he wasn’t really consciously aware of, then he was able to fly himself and he was fine. But it was only that particular task.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
And others – I had somebody who just couldn't get their resume done. Everything else in their life – they didn’t have a problem with general procrastination – just finishing their resume. They just kept trying to make it perfect and improving on it. What else could I put on here. And bottom line of that was: once they had their resume done, then they had to put it out there to the world and that allowed them to be rejected. You know, people won’t call them back. Or people would find fault. You’re not qualified enough, or you’re overqualified. That sort of thing. So what their subconscious was saying, Well, if I don’t get this done, then I can’t be rejected. Jessica Ortner: What I’d love to hear from you, Lindsay, is: What are the payoffs for procrastination? Because if we’re doing it, then it must serve us in some way. Lindsay Kenny: That’s absolutely true and it’s a good question. Because while we think it’s causing problems, and it is, underlying there is a payoff. In some ways it garners a little bit of empathy or sympathy from people – where you put out that vibe – I’m just so busy – I just have so much to do. And I know a lot of people will resist this, but there’s actually an arrogance to it; especially people who show up late. It’s sort of like, I’m giving you the appearance that I’m busier than you and more important than you, that I don’t care enough to be on time, that my schedule is busier than yours. And that’s usually not a conscious thing, so I don’t mean it to offend anybody, but there’s definitely an underlying reason for that. And it gives us an excuse also for making mistakes, showing up being really busy and having so much to do. I didn’t have enough time to do it right, so therefore you do under quality work. But you have an excuse for it. Well, I know this isn’t perfect, but I had to work on it all night because I had all this other stuff to do, so it’s last minute and I just threw it together. So that that if somebody complains about it, you have an excuse: I didn’t have enough time, as opposed to: I’m not competent enough to do a great job. Jessica Ortner:
Mm-hmm.
Lindsay Kenny:
See the difference in that?
Jessica Ortner:
Yes.
Lindsay Kenny: So it kind of is an underlying – it’s subconscious thing that keeps us safe. It’s like, If I didn’t finish this or I didn’t have enough time to finish this, then people aren’t really criticizing me, they’re criticizing my management of time, which isn’t as personal. I can’t fail something… a flying test or a course or a resume, whatever… if I don’t take it. So it’s keeping us safe by keeping us out of the game.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
Jessica Ortner: That makes a lot of sense. And, Lindsay, so many people have made procrastination just a way of life. They’re used to it and many people are even comfortable with it. So why is it such a problem and why should we really look at this seriously and address it? Lindsay Kenny: Well, because it really does make a difference in our lives. It affects us in really pretty awful ways, because it absolutely erodes our selfesteem. We don’t always know it or conscious of it. A lot of people do – it causes self-flagellation and people say to themselves, God, why can’t I just get this done? What is wrong with me? Why do I keep waiting to the last minute? And then a lot of people tell themselves, actually that they do a better job when they’re under a lot of anxiety or stress or pressure, but they really don’t. So they’re turning in subpar work. But it really does erode your own self-esteem. And it creates an enormous amount of stress and anxiety and guilt and shame in somebody’s life because they aren’t getting things done or aren’t getting them done on time, or aren’t getting them done well… So that just absolutely creates a lot of negativity and sucks energy out of their life and it detracts from the focus they need to actually get things done. It takes so much more energy to not do something, [yes] than it takes to just actually get it done. Jessica Ortner: Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. And, Lindsay, I know that you have an incredible process to stamp out procrastination. So I’d like to tell the listeners to get ready, take notes, and get ready to do some tapping. So, Lindsay, what is the very first step? When you’re working with a client and you want to stamp out procrastination, what’s the first step? Lindsay Kenny: First thing is to look at what you want to do, what you want to have happen. That’s probably the biggest mistake people make with weight and clutter and procrastination and addictions or anything else. They focus on what they don’t want. And particularly with procrastination, you need to write down what you want – about time issues. I call it being timely because it’s about time. So you write down three objectives about it. So I recommend that people pause this in just a second and actually do this process rather than just listening. So you want to write three objectives about what you do want – not what you don’t want. So you’d write down: I want to be on time when I have appointments. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
I want to be motivated for all the tasks that I do. I want to have everything that’s got a time or a deadline – I want to be motivated to get it done on time, before it’s due. Jessica Ortner:
I want to follow through on my word.
Lindsay Kenny: Yes. I want to keep my commitments to myself and others. And we actually say it in that phrasing. I want to, in the beginning, rather than like, I am, or I’m going to. That always puts it in the future. Or I am and saying it’s right now and you know you’re not there yet. So you say, I want to at this point, it allows room to hold in the same context where you are and where you want to be. And those three things you want, one of the things is you want to make it easy to do that. Make it easy to be on time and to get a task done. Because in the back of the mind, there’s always a little chatter, like a tail-ender that says, “Well, I want to get things done, but I never have enough time. Right? I’ve said that to myself a million times. I want to get things done, but I don’t even know how to start. Or, I want to get this done, but it’s just too hard. It’s just too hard. I don’t know what to do. So I just don’t. Waa, waa, waa. And so we want to make it easy. So when you make those three statements, make one of them, And I want to make it really easy. I’d recommend that people actually pause this tape now and write down three things that they want about their procrastination issues. Real simple statements. Jessica Ortner: Okay, and for those of you who have the workbook, you can go to this section of the workbook and write it down there and look over the examples. So once someone has paused it and written this down, what do they need to do next? Lindsay Kenny: Then the next thing is writing down why. Why do you want to be timely in your life? Why do you want those things that you just wrote down? In other words, how will your life be better when you’re timely? And notice, I don’t say when you stop procrastinating. So you can say, when I do everything on time, it’s easier to say when you’re timely. So write down how your life is going to change for the better when you are done with this problem. When you get those three or four things that you wrote down. And it’s usually something along the – and I ask people, how’s your life going to be different when you do this? And they’ll say, Wow! I’ll… So – here’s what they really say, Jessica, I’ll stop beating myself up. Or, I won’t be as anxious and stressed. They want to say what they won’t be instead of what they will be. It just shows how deep the problem is, so write down in the positive how you believe things will be different in your life, such as… I’ll feel great about myself. Not – I won’t feel so horrible about myself. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
Jessica Ortner: And why is it important to actually take the time to write these things out and get clarity on this? Lindsay Kenny: That’s really important because you’re focusing on what you want and you see the payoff now. You see – now, there’s my motivation for wanting to do this. I’ll feel good about myself. I’ll have great self-esteem again and confidence. I’ll rebuild credibility with myself. A lot of people realize - a little light bulb goes on – I think I’ll actually have more time and more energy. And I go, yeah – you get the idea. Yes you will. And more focus. So you write that down and say, Gee, okay. So I’m going to have happiness and joy and clarity and peace of mind and confidence and focus and more time and self-esteem and credibility with myself and others. Just because I get things done on time? I can’t wait to do this. So that’s why it’s important to write it down so you can why you’re making it easy to get things done. Because it is so much easier to do something now before it’s due than that pressure at the last minute that causes so much stress and anxiety. But we forget that. Because we’re putting off the pain – that’s what people think they’re doing is putting off something they don’t want to do until the last minute, which actually then causes something much, much worse. It’s sort of like not paying your taxes on time, and then you have to pay a penalty. You still have to do them, but you have to pay a financial penalty for not doing them. Instead, if somebody says, If you pay your taxes on time, we’ll actually give you a 10% discount and a vacation to Aruba or Tahiti or something. Something like that. Wouldn't you want to get things done if you had a big payoff, a bonus for it? Jessica Ortner: Definitely. Definitely. So once we’re clear on the payoff, what do we do next? Lindsay Kenny: Okay. So I want to encourage people to stop the audio and do that. Write down all of those things that we just talked about. And then, as you do that – most people will come up with something – those tailenders, those yeah, but… I don’t know how to do this. Or there’s usually something in the way, a block – some mental block. And it’s often a fear of some kind, a fear of making a mistake, fear of being criticized or judged. Some people have beliefs about themselves, beliefs that I can’t do anything right, or that I’m just lazy. I’m just unmotivated. I’m really not capable of doing this, so I’m just putting it off to the last minute and then throwing something together. And writing down those fears and beliefs that you have about it really help define what you’re going to tap on. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
See, people start tapping on even though I procrastinate, I love and accept myself. And that isn’t going to – how do you measure that? So this is a way to define what’s in your way, what you want instead of that, what the payoffs are for that, and now what’s in the way of you having that. And those are usually beliefs and fears. And you know I have done programs on that too, Jessica, on limiting beliefs and fears and getting rid of them. And that’s a really important thing to do. If you believe that it’s going to be hard, then you’ll make it hard. And if you’re afraid that you’re going to screw up, then you’ll probably screw up or that people are going to judge you. So you want to write those down. That gives you something to tap on. Jessica Ortner: What if someone is having trouble getting clarity on what is really going on with them? Do you have any tips? Lindsay Kenny: Sure. The thing to do is – usually procrastination starts some place in time. It’s not – they wake up one morning and all of a sudden they are not willing to do something. It usually – although there is usually a definitive point for that. And I often say to people, when did you first start having this problem where you put things off? And they, Well, it just kind of crept up on me. And I’ll say, Well, when? And they’ll say, About 10 years ago. Well, what happened 10 years ago? And it’s often a definitive moment of some kind in their life. A business failure. It might have been the second or third business failure or second or third divorce. Or heartbreak. Or some other tragedy. A disappointment. Somebody’s criticism or judgment that really hurt. Often it’s some kind of a betrayal with a business partner or spouse or a loved one. Might be rejections. Someone you lose in your life, break up with, or they die… Some definitive thing that makes people kind of pull back in their shell and go, Wow! That hurt. I don’t want to do that again. And so our subconscious tries to kind of protect us about making mistakes, even though it’s not our fault, but the perception is that if I get out there and do something, if I fall in love, then I’m going to be hurt. If I start a business, it’s going to fail. Or a relationship, they’re going to betray me. And all this subconscious chatter kind of keeps you saying, I’m just not going to play the game of life because I could be hurt” So we end up playing the game of life to not lose, as opposed to playing to win. And that’s what keeps people stuck and keeps people procrastinating.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
If you can define, even get close to what you think that might have been. And it could be your parents saying, You’re never going to amount to anything. What’s the matter with you? I’m not going to tell you over and over again to do this the right way. It could be something like that. Or a teacher. It could be a million different things. It’s important to try to figure out what it is. But there is a way even to get around that, if you don’t know what that is. Jessica Ortner: Mm-hmm. Okay. So that is then, step 4, is to really sit down and figure out what events caused these fears. Is that right? Lindsay Kenny:
That’s right.
Jessica Ortner:
Okay.
Lindsay Kenny: And, Jessica, you said something earlier that’s important, and it’s, How do you figure that out? And a lot of people don’t know. They just say, I don’t know. It feels like it’s always been this way. And it might be patterns – how their parents lived their life. If you really can’t think of a chain of events or particular event, then what you do is just put together – and step five is really handling whether you can them or not, because you’re dealing with the energy body and the subconscious mind. Step 5 is you just see yourself putting them all together – all of the events in your life or limiting beliefs and fears that came from those events that made you feel unsafe or insecure – that has to be hard – all of the disappointments, all the failures, all of the betrayals, so this is good, not just for procrastination, but for anything. And it’s absolutely contrary to typical traditional EFT tactics. It’s part of my bundling baggage technique. But it’s easy to do. You literally see everything together that hurt you in the past that could cause you to want to delay doing things today. Jessica Ortner: Now Lindsay, some people have trouble visualizing. I mean, how do we do this? Can you describe a technique or just any tip on how we can imagine all these things together? Lindsay Kenny: I actually have a really cool process. I wish I had time to go into it now, what I call three-dimensional objects. But I can tell you how to do it really simply. And that is you literally close your eyes, and you can’t see something, you still just feel. Some people are kinesthetic and kind of feel. You just feel a big pile around you of stuff from your life that hurt you… failures and disappointments and losses and criticisms and judgments… things that would have kept you from moving forward today. And get a sense of it. Some people see a big pile in front of them that’s as big as a house, and some people just sense this big blob there that has a freaky, smelly thing to it. And some people just hear a lot of noise and chatter. So it doesn't matter how you perceive it. Just © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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kind of get a sense of all of it together. And when people put together all of one kind of thing in their life, and this is about rejections, betrayals, criticisms, disappointments and the fears and beliefs we’ve developed because of that. To get a sense of it, it feels icky, smelly… Jessica Ortner: What about those who are hesitant to do this process because they’re scared they won’t be able to handle it… that bundling everything together would be too painful? Lindsay Kenny: Well, it’s just the opposite. What’s cool about it is that you’re not getting in touch with any one particular time. You’re putting them all together. So you’re taking the big event where your business partner embezzled $300,000 from you that caused you to close your business and ran off with your wife – you’re putting that together with the time that dad made fun of you for putting something on the refrigerator, a picture that was really stupid when you were in second grade, and the time you were rejected in front of the classroom in fourth grade when your teacher said you just screwed up the math equation all wrong. All of those. You’re putting the little things and the big things together in just a big pile in some place. Jessica Ortner:
So it could be like a big bag if that makes it easier for people, right?
Lindsay Kenny: Yes. It could be a bag, a box, it could be in a warehouse, it could be… people imagine all kinds – I just say imagine. And people say, well a football field full of stuff. It’s about 2 inches high all over the football field. And other people say, it’s a mountain-size, just gigantic bunch of things. And some people say I can’t see it. It’s just this big – I feel this smelly, wreaking bag of blob around me that’s just so oppressive that is just stuff. These aren’t necessarily the kind of traumas where people are molested or abused and that kind of stuff. This is particularly the disappointments, the betrayals. Even sometimes it’s things that you did. Like if the person feels like, Well, I invested in the stock market and it went upside down. I bought that real estate property five years ago at the top of the market and it went under. I don’t trust myself. And that’s okay too. So you can put all of your own personal disappointments in there, the things that you’ve done – that you feel, Wow, I wish I could take that back. Well you can. You kind of put all of those things you’ve wished you hadn’t done or said or invested in or started that make you hesitant to do things today. So when people really start looking at that, they see a bunch of stuff. You don’t want to get too specific and write them all down. You want to imagine them all together in a room or a pile or a bag or a box. Jessica Ortner:
Okay. So once we have that visual, where do we go from there?
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny: Well then you tap that away. Now that’s something we can actually tap on. I added some slides, some handouts in here to give you some protocols for how to tap. So you give that big pile a name, My fears and beliefs about failure. Or All the times I was rejected and hurt. Or, All the things that I ever did that disappointed myself or others. I mean, give it some kind of a name. My Life Sucks. (laughing) Something like that. Give it a number on a scale of 1 to 10. Now you have something to tap on. This doesn't look like procrastination. This is stuff from your past. But it’s the stuff that causes the procrastination if that makes it a core issue. So give it a number. How big is that? All of that stuff from the past… I mean how impactful is that on you? And you guess on a scale of 1 to 10. It doesn't mean you have to feel it at the moment, you’re just guessing the impact that that has on you and the pull that it has on you, which is slightly different than saying how angry are you at Bob for scratching your car? That’s a different number. This is how big of a pull and effect does that stuff have on your life. Jessica Ortner: And, Lindsay, because we’re beginning to run short on time, why don’t we jump into doing some tapping so the listeners can gain momentum? And then they can go to the workbook and continue the tapping. Lindsay Kenny: Alright. Let’s do that. So on the karate chop point, will you be my echo, Jessica? Jessica Ortner:
I will. Yep. Of course.
Lindsay Kenny: And I want people to not worry about doing this wrong or saying the wrong thing, because you just kind of can’t do that. If you just do these steps up to this point, and you need to go back and make sure that you’ve got an idea of that, then you start tapping on the actual process. So on the karate chop point, and I included a chart in my material that’s a little bit different because I add some additional points. Start on the karate chop point and say – you’re going to name that bag – let’s just call it My Past Failures and Losses and Limiting Beliefs or something. Is that okay, Jessica? Jessica Ortner:
Sure.
Lindsay Kenny: Okay. Give it a number between 1 and 10. Guess if you don’t know. So on your karate chop point. KARATE CHOP POINT Even though I have this big pile of stuff from my past, That may be what has caused me to procrastinate today, © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
I love and accept myself anyway. Even though this big pile of disappointment and failures Makes me feel bad about myself today, It keeps me from getting things done. I still want to respect who I am. Alright, now on the eyebrows, and I recommend that people tap with all their fingers, at least the index, middle and ring finger, and on both sides. You get a little bit more bang for the buck. So tap on the beginning of the eyebrows and then do some simple things. I’m going to add a little bit more verbiage and it doesn't matter what your pile’s name is. We’ll still be tapping on it. So you guys tap along with this audio. So on the eyebrows, Jessica, say: EB: SE: UE: UN: CB: UA: LP:
This big pile of past disappointments. It’s really a burden when I put it all together. I could see how this would make me want to put things off No I can’t. But maybe it is the reason. At least now I know why. All of this disappoint and failure from my past [That’s on the liver point and on the wrist point,]
WR: TH:
All of the things that have hurt me and made me afraid. [On the crown of the head with the fingertips] All of the beliefs and fears that I created because of those failures.
[Now, I move then to what I call my golden gate technique, and again, the slides kind of indicate that. It is just simply now saying what you want to do with it, instead of repeating the negative. What do you want to do with that pile? So on the eyebrows.] EB: SE: UE: UN: CB: UA: LP: WR: TH:
I want to let go of all of this stuff. I want to let go of the pain and disappointment. I want to release the anger at them and at myself. I want to free myself from those past failures and disappointments. So I can reclaim my life. I want to let go of all that tragedy. No I don’t. Yes I do. I want to neutralize everything that’s getting in my way now.
EB: SE:
I want to be joyful and happy. I want to feel free and have peace of mind.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
UE: UN: CB: UA: LP: WR: TH:
To do that I need to get rid of this past gunk that’s cluttering my mind. I want to let it go. I want to heal all of the hurt or pain from my past. I want to forgive myself and others. I allow myself to let it go. I want to have clarity and focus. I want to get things done so I’ll have freedom.
Okay. And then take a deep breath. At this point, Jessica, a lot of people say, Well, I’m not sure I’m doing this right, or what do I say? We’re borrowing benefits. So you really can’t do it wrong. You just do it until you start getting relief. And a lot of people go off on a tangent. Well, what about the time when, you know, last week my wife did something that made me feel insignificant? Well, you can just put that in the pile if you want, or you can tap on that separately. But it is mostly things about the past and your resistance to getting things done now – being timely. So you want to neutralize that big pile. But saying I want to let it go and what you want now : I want to have freedom. I want to have clarity. I want focus and peace of mind. By saying what you do want, it helps the two parts of you kind of battle with each other, saying: Well, that’s with my past but I see now why I hesitate to get things done. I don’t want to be criticized. And the other part of you is saying: Yeah, but if I let that go, then I can have freedom and clarity and focus and credibility again. And so the battle becomes easier within you. So you’re kind of venting back and forth about the past and what you want now. And it allows your body to release that gunk, as I call it, from the past. Does that make sense? Jessica Ortner: Mm-hmm. That makes a lot of sense. And it’s so interesting that we’re focusing on procrastination, but we don’t actually have to focus on the symptoms so much as what’s going on underneath and other things that cause that. Lindsay Kenny: Yeah. This is so different from people that say: You make a list... And there’s nothing wrong with that. This is more of a “beingness” way to do it. The other is you make a list and you check things off and you set priorities and you just work and focus on getting something done until you do it. That’s a” doingness” way. And that can work as well, it just requires a lot more effort and focus. And you still have the reasons for your procrastination underneath there. You see, procrastination, clutter, weight, those stuck issues, are just symptoms of something else. And so if you can find the cause, then you’re 90% of the way through the battle so to speak. Because you find the cause, even if you can’t clearly define it. You just recognize: Okay, something happened in my past, or several things, that caused me to not want to finish stuff or get things started. If I © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
can tap away the trauma and disappointment and fear and beliefs and failure about that, then I don’t really have a reason to procrastinate. Because, I want the clarity, focus, joy and credibility that comes with getting things done on a timely basis. Isn’t that a much better choice? Jessica Ortner: Definitely. Lindsay, if you’re a Type B procrastinator, where you’re putting off a specific project, does it help to be specific on what’s going on underneath that project and what getting it complete might mean? And if so, how do we gain clarity on that? Lindsay Kenny: Yeah. So that’s important. And it is important with that and those project-specific Type B things… I just can’t get this kind of thing done. That almost always can be with respect to a specific incident or two or three repetitive incidences that are like that. So somebody might say, I really should list myself with Match.com or one of the services so I can meet somebody, but I don’t I don’t have my profile ready or a current picture, and yada yada. And you find out that they haven’t done that because they’ve gotten hurt two or three times in the past and then, if they actually get listed or somebody sets them up on a date and they actually go, That person’s going to hurt me. So why would I want to do something that’s going to eventually hurt me. So if they can clear the way, tap away the heartbreaks from the past, then it allows them to look forward and do what they want which is create a relationship in their lives. Or, if they’re saying, I don’t want to do my resume because I keep getting turned down for jobs or fired from jobs, or something like that, then it gives you more clarity about why you want to do this. Sometimes you can just ask yourself: Why am I putting this off? And people will have a little story about it. Well, nobody’s hiring anyway. Things just aren’t going to work. I have a client who I’ll call Alicia, who called me when she was about three years into writing a book and hadn’t been able to finish it. She just couldn't finish it. Fabulous book. And so we went through all of the reasons why, and there were a lot of things in her past, a lot of parental things and failures and those disappointments. And we cleared all of that. It came down to a fear of being exposed, being vulnerable. This was a personal book about her life, and once it came out, there could be ramifications. She could become famous, and that would be a target. There was fear of success and fear of failure, and a belief that people might judge her. And worthiness issues. A lot of stuff like that that we had to tap away. It didn’t take long, we put all of that together under all of her fears and beliefs about completing the book. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
What if I finished this book and nobody buys it. I’m a failure. What if I finish the book and people do buy it and I’m a success and then I don’t have any time for myself and I’m famous? Or, what if I finish it and people criticize and judge me and tear it apart and… So it was sort of like damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So we had to clear up those fears and beliefs and we do it the same way we just did. You put them in a bundle, you give them a number, and you tap them away. You literally reprogram your mind to let go of those beliefs and fears. And, she finished that book within a month or so of us doing that. Went to the publisher. It just came out, recently, just about two weeks ago and it’s a fabulous book. So once she had those fears and beliefs out of the way, the rest of the writing process became really easy. Which is actually our last step. She chose to finish the book. She tapped on I choose – when she got through all of this negative – I choose to get this done, get it to the editor on time and the publisher on time. I choose to make it easy. I choose to make it enjoyable. I choose to experience the freedom and peace of mind and joy that comes from knowing that I have created this magnificent book. I can’t wait to get it done – and all these positive things. She just couldn't – she said, Oh, Lindsay, I’ve got to get off the phone. I’ve got to go write. I’m just on fire here. So I was kind of with her the whole step of the way along that line, and it’s a very powerful thing to do. Jessica Ortner: And, Lindsay, when do we know when we’re ready to incorporate the choices? Lindsay Kenny: Well, that’s a good question. And usually you want to use choices when your intensity number is down to a three or less. So there are two different elements here. One is getting rid of the past things. So when you get that pile down or the number down on all of the disappointments and failures and fears and beliefs to about a three, then you can say, I choose to let all of that go. I choose to let go of my past stuff. I choose to forgive them. I choose to forgive myself. I choose to let go of the anger and anything else. You’re making a conscious choice to take control of your life and let go of the things that are causing you to put things off now. And when that’s done, then you go back to what you do want and you make some really nice, positive statements about that – choosing to have it be the way you want it to be - choosing to be on time; get projects done easily; make it enjoyable to do them. And you just put in a lot of positive statements about how you want it to be. Not: I want to stop procrastinating, but I choose to have a life full of joy, happiness, clarity and focus by allowing myself to get projects done on
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
or before when they’re due. I’m proud of myself for doing this. I choose to make it fun and easy – and that sort of thing. So you tap in all of the positive things that you want, that you wrote down earlier. And it becomes a really powerful tool that propels you into being a timely person. Jessica Ortner: Hmmm. That is fantastic. As people move on after this interview and begin to really focus on getting rid of this procrastination, what are some tips that you have to help them implement this tapping and these strategies daily to really get results? Lindsay Kenny: Well, if you stay focused on what you want as opposed to saying: Gee what if this doesn't work? Or, what if I keep procrastinating? Or, whatever… Staying focused on what you want is really, really important. And there’s also another tip and with the handouts there’ll be a slide, or a URL that you can go to to find out more about this. But, there’s a part of us that wants to resist getting things done for those payoffs that we mention. And that’s the subconscious. So without going into that now, it is important to neutralize your subconscious resistance to change. Because the subconscious is saying, Oh no. I don’t want to get things done, in Alicia’s case, I don’t want to finish the book, because if I do, are you crazy? Then somebody might reject it. Or, I might be successful and then I’ll be a target or people will make fun of me. So the subconscious is saying, That’s why I’m not doing this. I’m not going to let you have success tapping or doing anything else. So you need to neutralize that subconscious mind by doing a reversal neutralization and you can find information about that on the notes. We’ll have a little link that you can go to for some free s on that… on learning how to get rid of that part that’s causing you to want to put things off. Jessica Ortner: Thank you for that. And I just would like to end by asking you how often do you feel that people should be tapping? Once they go through this entire process, does that mean that it’s over? They’ve figured it? Or, is there some daily tapping that needs to be involved? Lindsay Kenny: No, I think that daily tapping really helps you keep focused on what you want. And we tend to go to a negative – everybody does this. I even do it – saying: This isn’t going to work. What if it doesn't work? And if you stay focused on the positive, saying, I allow it to work. I choose to make it work because I want… And then you put in the things that you wrote down. They become your anchor to go back to over and over again. Every day you can just say them to yourself. But it’s more powerful if you tap them in. So if you find yourself being a little skeptical, Oh, I’ll just do this later, you tap on the positive. You just say: No. I choose to do it now. I choose clarity. I choose focus. I choose the peace of mind that this will bring me. I want to let go of the © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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stress and anxiety and the way to do it is just to get this done now. I’ve got to get it done. And you’re just tapping while you’re saying this. I’ve got to get it done anyway. I choose to do it now so I can be enjoying myself instead of fretting over what I’m putting myself through and the consequences that I’m going to have and the credibility I’m going to lose. I just choose to do it now and I choose to make it easy. Do you see the difference? A little 30-second pep talk to yourself focusing on what you want instead of being afraid of what you’re going to get if you put it off is very powerful. What people tend to do, Jessica, is, Oh screw it. I’ll do it later. Why bother. And then you answer yourself, Well why bother is because it’s going to make me feel a whole lot better to do it than to put it off and face the consequences. Jessica Ortner: Right. And the difference is instead of having that self-chatter and still not doing anything, you have a technique that actually physically makes you feel differently, and changes your emotions around. So it really is an incredible combination. Lindsay Kenny: Yes. And when you tap as you’re saying something positive or negative, it clears things. If you say, Oh, I don’t want to do it now. I’ll do it later. You stop yourself right then and tap. And start on your eyebrows and you say, Well, I choose to do it now. I want to do it now. I want to get finished with this. I want the clarity and focus. I allow myself to do it, and I choose to make it easy. Right now, I choose to do it. And if you hear your voice saying, No, I don’t want to. Yes I do. No I don’t. You kind of argue with yourself while tapping and I guarantee you the tapping part will win… the positive part will win. Jessica Ortner: Fantastic. Well, Lindsay, it was a real pleasure to interview you and gain all this knowledge. Thank you so much. Lindsay Kenny:
Thank you, Jessica, for having me.
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Thank you, Jessica. Thanks for inviting me.
Jessica Ortner: Well this is a big topic; so many of us can relate to this. So I’d like to start by asking you: How does procrastination show up in people’s lives? Lindsay Kenny: Well that’s a good question. And it is a big problem. I would say probably, my guess, based on how many people I work with on this issue, maybe 60 or 70 percent of the population has a procrastination issue. And, I get them all. It’s one of the biggest stuck issues and it shows up in many ways in our lives. And I actually have it in two categories. I call them Type A and Type B - Kind of like Type A and Type B personalities. Because they’re the kind of people who are just what I call “indiscriminate procrastinators,” they just don’t do anything on time. They can’t get jobs started, or if they happen to be in the middle of one, they can’t seem to get it finished. They procrastinate at either end of the spectrum. There is also – it’s really about time. Procrastination. So often procrastinators are people who are late for appointments, not just getting things done. But they just are habitually late at stuff. Leaving late. Arriving late. And that becomes another issue in and of itself. I don’t know that people usually think of that as procrastination. But it ends up showing up with them not honoring commitments to themselves and others. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
They feel paralyzed to get anything done. They get the commitments done. And because they do everything at the last minute, their life is always in chaos. They feel rushed and other people feel uncomfortable around them. There’s an energy about them that is not good. It’s similar in many ways like that to clutter. They’re both stuck issues. But it just resonates with a sense of – really a vacuum for joy in their life. There’s a lack of joy and a lack of motivation or drive. A lot of people say, I just don’t seem to have a ion. I just can’t get myself motivated or going,,, to get things done. And what happens is they end up feeling very – they are and feel inconsistent and undependable and other people see them the same way. So those are some of the Type A of procrastinators. It’s just they live in a swirl of I can’t get anything done. And they’re always saying, I have to stop procrastinating, which keeps them further stuck. And then the Type B is a little bit easier to define, because they’re what I call project-putter-offers. Instead of just procrastinating everything, there’s one thing they just can’t seem to make themselves do… finish their dissertation for their PHD, or take a particular test that they need to do. It’s often a finish thing or they just can’t get a particular task started… get their resume completed or marry somebody. It can be all over the spectrum, but the rest of their things they get okay. But there’s one thing they just can’t seem to do. I’ve got a couple of examples of that. Do you want to hear a story or two? Jessica Ortner:
Sure. A story would be great.
Lindsay Kenny: I had a guy, Derek, who graduated top of his class. He went to aviator school – wanted to be a pilot. And he just whizzed through the ground part of it; learning the tests and really was sharp in class, and finished everything really well. He really got it. And he flew okay with his co-pilot. But he could not take the final test where you have to solo for so long. He called me and we worked and worked on that and it ended up being that a horrific fear of flying… but it was a fear of flying on his own. And here he is wanting to be a pilot and so he procrastinated for a million reasons. Oh the weather isn’t good. And this went on for 6 or 8 months. And with a little bit of working on him, we saw that it had other things associated with it. There was a reason he was putting it off and he was terrified of dying. One of his dear relatives had died in a plane crash – not alone – but still was an underlying cause for that. Once we cleared up that trauma, which he wasn’t really consciously aware of, then he was able to fly himself and he was fine. But it was only that particular task.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
And others – I had somebody who just couldn't get their resume done. Everything else in their life – they didn’t have a problem with general procrastination – just finishing their resume. They just kept trying to make it perfect and improving on it. What else could I put on here. And bottom line of that was: once they had their resume done, then they had to put it out there to the world and that allowed them to be rejected. You know, people won’t call them back. Or people would find fault. You’re not qualified enough, or you’re overqualified. That sort of thing. So what their subconscious was saying, Well, if I don’t get this done, then I can’t be rejected. Jessica Ortner: What I’d love to hear from you, Lindsay, is: What are the payoffs for procrastination? Because if we’re doing it, then it must serve us in some way. Lindsay Kenny: That’s absolutely true and it’s a good question. Because while we think it’s causing problems, and it is, underlying there is a payoff. In some ways it garners a little bit of empathy or sympathy from people – where you put out that vibe – I’m just so busy – I just have so much to do. And I know a lot of people will resist this, but there’s actually an arrogance to it; especially people who show up late. It’s sort of like, I’m giving you the appearance that I’m busier than you and more important than you, that I don’t care enough to be on time, that my schedule is busier than yours. And that’s usually not a conscious thing, so I don’t mean it to offend anybody, but there’s definitely an underlying reason for that. And it gives us an excuse also for making mistakes, showing up being really busy and having so much to do. I didn’t have enough time to do it right, so therefore you do under quality work. But you have an excuse for it. Well, I know this isn’t perfect, but I had to work on it all night because I had all this other stuff to do, so it’s last minute and I just threw it together. So that that if somebody complains about it, you have an excuse: I didn’t have enough time, as opposed to: I’m not competent enough to do a great job. Jessica Ortner:
Mm-hmm.
Lindsay Kenny:
See the difference in that?
Jessica Ortner:
Yes.
Lindsay Kenny: So it kind of is an underlying – it’s subconscious thing that keeps us safe. It’s like, If I didn’t finish this or I didn’t have enough time to finish this, then people aren’t really criticizing me, they’re criticizing my management of time, which isn’t as personal. I can’t fail something… a flying test or a course or a resume, whatever… if I don’t take it. So it’s keeping us safe by keeping us out of the game.
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Jessica Ortner: That makes a lot of sense. And, Lindsay, so many people have made procrastination just a way of life. They’re used to it and many people are even comfortable with it. So why is it such a problem and why should we really look at this seriously and address it? Lindsay Kenny: Well, because it really does make a difference in our lives. It affects us in really pretty awful ways, because it absolutely erodes our selfesteem. We don’t always know it or conscious of it. A lot of people do – it causes self-flagellation and people say to themselves, God, why can’t I just get this done? What is wrong with me? Why do I keep waiting to the last minute? And then a lot of people tell themselves, actually that they do a better job when they’re under a lot of anxiety or stress or pressure, but they really don’t. So they’re turning in subpar work. But it really does erode your own self-esteem. And it creates an enormous amount of stress and anxiety and guilt and shame in somebody’s life because they aren’t getting things done or aren’t getting them done on time, or aren’t getting them done well… So that just absolutely creates a lot of negativity and sucks energy out of their life and it detracts from the focus they need to actually get things done. It takes so much more energy to not do something, [yes] than it takes to just actually get it done. Jessica Ortner: Yeah. That makes a lot of sense. And, Lindsay, I know that you have an incredible process to stamp out procrastination. So I’d like to tell the listeners to get ready, take notes, and get ready to do some tapping. So, Lindsay, what is the very first step? When you’re working with a client and you want to stamp out procrastination, what’s the first step? Lindsay Kenny: First thing is to look at what you want to do, what you want to have happen. That’s probably the biggest mistake people make with weight and clutter and procrastination and addictions or anything else. They focus on what they don’t want. And particularly with procrastination, you need to write down what you want – about time issues. I call it being timely because it’s about time. So you write down three objectives about it. So I recommend that people pause this in just a second and actually do this process rather than just listening. So you want to write three objectives about what you do want – not what you don’t want. So you’d write down: I want to be on time when I have appointments. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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I want to be motivated for all the tasks that I do. I want to have everything that’s got a time or a deadline – I want to be motivated to get it done on time, before it’s due. Jessica Ortner:
I want to follow through on my word.
Lindsay Kenny: Yes. I want to keep my commitments to myself and others. And we actually say it in that phrasing. I want to, in the beginning, rather than like, I am, or I’m going to. That always puts it in the future. Or I am and saying it’s right now and you know you’re not there yet. So you say, I want to at this point, it allows room to hold in the same context where you are and where you want to be. And those three things you want, one of the things is you want to make it easy to do that. Make it easy to be on time and to get a task done. Because in the back of the mind, there’s always a little chatter, like a tail-ender that says, “Well, I want to get things done, but I never have enough time. Right? I’ve said that to myself a million times. I want to get things done, but I don’t even know how to start. Or, I want to get this done, but it’s just too hard. It’s just too hard. I don’t know what to do. So I just don’t. Waa, waa, waa. And so we want to make it easy. So when you make those three statements, make one of them, And I want to make it really easy. I’d recommend that people actually pause this tape now and write down three things that they want about their procrastination issues. Real simple statements. Jessica Ortner: Okay, and for those of you who have the workbook, you can go to this section of the workbook and write it down there and look over the examples. So once someone has paused it and written this down, what do they need to do next? Lindsay Kenny: Then the next thing is writing down why. Why do you want to be timely in your life? Why do you want those things that you just wrote down? In other words, how will your life be better when you’re timely? And notice, I don’t say when you stop procrastinating. So you can say, when I do everything on time, it’s easier to say when you’re timely. So write down how your life is going to change for the better when you are done with this problem. When you get those three or four things that you wrote down. And it’s usually something along the – and I ask people, how’s your life going to be different when you do this? And they’ll say, Wow! I’ll… So – here’s what they really say, Jessica, I’ll stop beating myself up. Or, I won’t be as anxious and stressed. They want to say what they won’t be instead of what they will be. It just shows how deep the problem is, so write down in the positive how you believe things will be different in your life, such as… I’ll feel great about myself. Not – I won’t feel so horrible about myself. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Jessica Ortner: And why is it important to actually take the time to write these things out and get clarity on this? Lindsay Kenny: That’s really important because you’re focusing on what you want and you see the payoff now. You see – now, there’s my motivation for wanting to do this. I’ll feel good about myself. I’ll have great self-esteem again and confidence. I’ll rebuild credibility with myself. A lot of people realize - a little light bulb goes on – I think I’ll actually have more time and more energy. And I go, yeah – you get the idea. Yes you will. And more focus. So you write that down and say, Gee, okay. So I’m going to have happiness and joy and clarity and peace of mind and confidence and focus and more time and self-esteem and credibility with myself and others. Just because I get things done on time? I can’t wait to do this. So that’s why it’s important to write it down so you can why you’re making it easy to get things done. Because it is so much easier to do something now before it’s due than that pressure at the last minute that causes so much stress and anxiety. But we forget that. Because we’re putting off the pain – that’s what people think they’re doing is putting off something they don’t want to do until the last minute, which actually then causes something much, much worse. It’s sort of like not paying your taxes on time, and then you have to pay a penalty. You still have to do them, but you have to pay a financial penalty for not doing them. Instead, if somebody says, If you pay your taxes on time, we’ll actually give you a 10% discount and a vacation to Aruba or Tahiti or something. Something like that. Wouldn't you want to get things done if you had a big payoff, a bonus for it? Jessica Ortner: Definitely. Definitely. So once we’re clear on the payoff, what do we do next? Lindsay Kenny: Okay. So I want to encourage people to stop the audio and do that. Write down all of those things that we just talked about. And then, as you do that – most people will come up with something – those tailenders, those yeah, but… I don’t know how to do this. Or there’s usually something in the way, a block – some mental block. And it’s often a fear of some kind, a fear of making a mistake, fear of being criticized or judged. Some people have beliefs about themselves, beliefs that I can’t do anything right, or that I’m just lazy. I’m just unmotivated. I’m really not capable of doing this, so I’m just putting it off to the last minute and then throwing something together. And writing down those fears and beliefs that you have about it really help define what you’re going to tap on. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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See, people start tapping on even though I procrastinate, I love and accept myself. And that isn’t going to – how do you measure that? So this is a way to define what’s in your way, what you want instead of that, what the payoffs are for that, and now what’s in the way of you having that. And those are usually beliefs and fears. And you know I have done programs on that too, Jessica, on limiting beliefs and fears and getting rid of them. And that’s a really important thing to do. If you believe that it’s going to be hard, then you’ll make it hard. And if you’re afraid that you’re going to screw up, then you’ll probably screw up or that people are going to judge you. So you want to write those down. That gives you something to tap on. Jessica Ortner: What if someone is having trouble getting clarity on what is really going on with them? Do you have any tips? Lindsay Kenny: Sure. The thing to do is – usually procrastination starts some place in time. It’s not – they wake up one morning and all of a sudden they are not willing to do something. It usually – although there is usually a definitive point for that. And I often say to people, when did you first start having this problem where you put things off? And they, Well, it just kind of crept up on me. And I’ll say, Well, when? And they’ll say, About 10 years ago. Well, what happened 10 years ago? And it’s often a definitive moment of some kind in their life. A business failure. It might have been the second or third business failure or second or third divorce. Or heartbreak. Or some other tragedy. A disappointment. Somebody’s criticism or judgment that really hurt. Often it’s some kind of a betrayal with a business partner or spouse or a loved one. Might be rejections. Someone you lose in your life, break up with, or they die… Some definitive thing that makes people kind of pull back in their shell and go, Wow! That hurt. I don’t want to do that again. And so our subconscious tries to kind of protect us about making mistakes, even though it’s not our fault, but the perception is that if I get out there and do something, if I fall in love, then I’m going to be hurt. If I start a business, it’s going to fail. Or a relationship, they’re going to betray me. And all this subconscious chatter kind of keeps you saying, I’m just not going to play the game of life because I could be hurt” So we end up playing the game of life to not lose, as opposed to playing to win. And that’s what keeps people stuck and keeps people procrastinating.
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If you can define, even get close to what you think that might have been. And it could be your parents saying, You’re never going to amount to anything. What’s the matter with you? I’m not going to tell you over and over again to do this the right way. It could be something like that. Or a teacher. It could be a million different things. It’s important to try to figure out what it is. But there is a way even to get around that, if you don’t know what that is. Jessica Ortner: Mm-hmm. Okay. So that is then, step 4, is to really sit down and figure out what events caused these fears. Is that right? Lindsay Kenny:
That’s right.
Jessica Ortner:
Okay.
Lindsay Kenny: And, Jessica, you said something earlier that’s important, and it’s, How do you figure that out? And a lot of people don’t know. They just say, I don’t know. It feels like it’s always been this way. And it might be patterns – how their parents lived their life. If you really can’t think of a chain of events or particular event, then what you do is just put together – and step five is really handling whether you can them or not, because you’re dealing with the energy body and the subconscious mind. Step 5 is you just see yourself putting them all together – all of the events in your life or limiting beliefs and fears that came from those events that made you feel unsafe or insecure – that has to be hard – all of the disappointments, all the failures, all of the betrayals, so this is good, not just for procrastination, but for anything. And it’s absolutely contrary to typical traditional EFT tactics. It’s part of my bundling baggage technique. But it’s easy to do. You literally see everything together that hurt you in the past that could cause you to want to delay doing things today. Jessica Ortner: Now Lindsay, some people have trouble visualizing. I mean, how do we do this? Can you describe a technique or just any tip on how we can imagine all these things together? Lindsay Kenny: I actually have a really cool process. I wish I had time to go into it now, what I call three-dimensional objects. But I can tell you how to do it really simply. And that is you literally close your eyes, and you can’t see something, you still just feel. Some people are kinesthetic and kind of feel. You just feel a big pile around you of stuff from your life that hurt you… failures and disappointments and losses and criticisms and judgments… things that would have kept you from moving forward today. And get a sense of it. Some people see a big pile in front of them that’s as big as a house, and some people just sense this big blob there that has a freaky, smelly thing to it. And some people just hear a lot of noise and chatter. So it doesn't matter how you perceive it. Just © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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kind of get a sense of all of it together. And when people put together all of one kind of thing in their life, and this is about rejections, betrayals, criticisms, disappointments and the fears and beliefs we’ve developed because of that. To get a sense of it, it feels icky, smelly… Jessica Ortner: What about those who are hesitant to do this process because they’re scared they won’t be able to handle it… that bundling everything together would be too painful? Lindsay Kenny: Well, it’s just the opposite. What’s cool about it is that you’re not getting in touch with any one particular time. You’re putting them all together. So you’re taking the big event where your business partner embezzled $300,000 from you that caused you to close your business and ran off with your wife – you’re putting that together with the time that dad made fun of you for putting something on the refrigerator, a picture that was really stupid when you were in second grade, and the time you were rejected in front of the classroom in fourth grade when your teacher said you just screwed up the math equation all wrong. All of those. You’re putting the little things and the big things together in just a big pile in some place. Jessica Ortner:
So it could be like a big bag if that makes it easier for people, right?
Lindsay Kenny: Yes. It could be a bag, a box, it could be in a warehouse, it could be… people imagine all kinds – I just say imagine. And people say, well a football field full of stuff. It’s about 2 inches high all over the football field. And other people say, it’s a mountain-size, just gigantic bunch of things. And some people say I can’t see it. It’s just this big – I feel this smelly, wreaking bag of blob around me that’s just so oppressive that is just stuff. These aren’t necessarily the kind of traumas where people are molested or abused and that kind of stuff. This is particularly the disappointments, the betrayals. Even sometimes it’s things that you did. Like if the person feels like, Well, I invested in the stock market and it went upside down. I bought that real estate property five years ago at the top of the market and it went under. I don’t trust myself. And that’s okay too. So you can put all of your own personal disappointments in there, the things that you’ve done – that you feel, Wow, I wish I could take that back. Well you can. You kind of put all of those things you’ve wished you hadn’t done or said or invested in or started that make you hesitant to do things today. So when people really start looking at that, they see a bunch of stuff. You don’t want to get too specific and write them all down. You want to imagine them all together in a room or a pile or a bag or a box. Jessica Ortner:
Okay. So once we have that visual, where do we go from there?
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
Lindsay Kenny: Well then you tap that away. Now that’s something we can actually tap on. I added some slides, some handouts in here to give you some protocols for how to tap. So you give that big pile a name, My fears and beliefs about failure. Or All the times I was rejected and hurt. Or, All the things that I ever did that disappointed myself or others. I mean, give it some kind of a name. My Life Sucks. (laughing) Something like that. Give it a number on a scale of 1 to 10. Now you have something to tap on. This doesn't look like procrastination. This is stuff from your past. But it’s the stuff that causes the procrastination if that makes it a core issue. So give it a number. How big is that? All of that stuff from the past… I mean how impactful is that on you? And you guess on a scale of 1 to 10. It doesn't mean you have to feel it at the moment, you’re just guessing the impact that that has on you and the pull that it has on you, which is slightly different than saying how angry are you at Bob for scratching your car? That’s a different number. This is how big of a pull and effect does that stuff have on your life. Jessica Ortner: And, Lindsay, because we’re beginning to run short on time, why don’t we jump into doing some tapping so the listeners can gain momentum? And then they can go to the workbook and continue the tapping. Lindsay Kenny: Alright. Let’s do that. So on the karate chop point, will you be my echo, Jessica? Jessica Ortner:
I will. Yep. Of course.
Lindsay Kenny: And I want people to not worry about doing this wrong or saying the wrong thing, because you just kind of can’t do that. If you just do these steps up to this point, and you need to go back and make sure that you’ve got an idea of that, then you start tapping on the actual process. So on the karate chop point, and I included a chart in my material that’s a little bit different because I add some additional points. Start on the karate chop point and say – you’re going to name that bag – let’s just call it My Past Failures and Losses and Limiting Beliefs or something. Is that okay, Jessica? Jessica Ortner:
Sure.
Lindsay Kenny: Okay. Give it a number between 1 and 10. Guess if you don’t know. So on your karate chop point. KARATE CHOP POINT Even though I have this big pile of stuff from my past, That may be what has caused me to procrastinate today, © 2011 Tapping World Summit
Page 10 of 16
Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
I love and accept myself anyway. Even though this big pile of disappointment and failures Makes me feel bad about myself today, It keeps me from getting things done. I still want to respect who I am. Alright, now on the eyebrows, and I recommend that people tap with all their fingers, at least the index, middle and ring finger, and on both sides. You get a little bit more bang for the buck. So tap on the beginning of the eyebrows and then do some simple things. I’m going to add a little bit more verbiage and it doesn't matter what your pile’s name is. We’ll still be tapping on it. So you guys tap along with this audio. So on the eyebrows, Jessica, say: EB: SE: UE: UN: CB: UA: LP:
This big pile of past disappointments. It’s really a burden when I put it all together. I could see how this would make me want to put things off No I can’t. But maybe it is the reason. At least now I know why. All of this disappoint and failure from my past [That’s on the liver point and on the wrist point,]
WR: TH:
All of the things that have hurt me and made me afraid. [On the crown of the head with the fingertips] All of the beliefs and fears that I created because of those failures.
[Now, I move then to what I call my golden gate technique, and again, the slides kind of indicate that. It is just simply now saying what you want to do with it, instead of repeating the negative. What do you want to do with that pile? So on the eyebrows.] EB: SE: UE: UN: CB: UA: LP: WR: TH:
I want to let go of all of this stuff. I want to let go of the pain and disappointment. I want to release the anger at them and at myself. I want to free myself from those past failures and disappointments. So I can reclaim my life. I want to let go of all that tragedy. No I don’t. Yes I do. I want to neutralize everything that’s getting in my way now.
EB: SE:
I want to be joyful and happy. I want to feel free and have peace of mind.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
UE: UN: CB: UA: LP: WR: TH:
To do that I need to get rid of this past gunk that’s cluttering my mind. I want to let it go. I want to heal all of the hurt or pain from my past. I want to forgive myself and others. I allow myself to let it go. I want to have clarity and focus. I want to get things done so I’ll have freedom.
Okay. And then take a deep breath. At this point, Jessica, a lot of people say, Well, I’m not sure I’m doing this right, or what do I say? We’re borrowing benefits. So you really can’t do it wrong. You just do it until you start getting relief. And a lot of people go off on a tangent. Well, what about the time when, you know, last week my wife did something that made me feel insignificant? Well, you can just put that in the pile if you want, or you can tap on that separately. But it is mostly things about the past and your resistance to getting things done now – being timely. So you want to neutralize that big pile. But saying I want to let it go and what you want now : I want to have freedom. I want to have clarity. I want focus and peace of mind. By saying what you do want, it helps the two parts of you kind of battle with each other, saying: Well, that’s with my past but I see now why I hesitate to get things done. I don’t want to be criticized. And the other part of you is saying: Yeah, but if I let that go, then I can have freedom and clarity and focus and credibility again. And so the battle becomes easier within you. So you’re kind of venting back and forth about the past and what you want now. And it allows your body to release that gunk, as I call it, from the past. Does that make sense? Jessica Ortner: Mm-hmm. That makes a lot of sense. And it’s so interesting that we’re focusing on procrastination, but we don’t actually have to focus on the symptoms so much as what’s going on underneath and other things that cause that. Lindsay Kenny: Yeah. This is so different from people that say: You make a list... And there’s nothing wrong with that. This is more of a “beingness” way to do it. The other is you make a list and you check things off and you set priorities and you just work and focus on getting something done until you do it. That’s a” doingness” way. And that can work as well, it just requires a lot more effort and focus. And you still have the reasons for your procrastination underneath there. You see, procrastination, clutter, weight, those stuck issues, are just symptoms of something else. And so if you can find the cause, then you’re 90% of the way through the battle so to speak. Because you find the cause, even if you can’t clearly define it. You just recognize: Okay, something happened in my past, or several things, that caused me to not want to finish stuff or get things started. If I © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
can tap away the trauma and disappointment and fear and beliefs and failure about that, then I don’t really have a reason to procrastinate. Because, I want the clarity, focus, joy and credibility that comes with getting things done on a timely basis. Isn’t that a much better choice? Jessica Ortner: Definitely. Lindsay, if you’re a Type B procrastinator, where you’re putting off a specific project, does it help to be specific on what’s going on underneath that project and what getting it complete might mean? And if so, how do we gain clarity on that? Lindsay Kenny: Yeah. So that’s important. And it is important with that and those project-specific Type B things… I just can’t get this kind of thing done. That almost always can be with respect to a specific incident or two or three repetitive incidences that are like that. So somebody might say, I really should list myself with Match.com or one of the services so I can meet somebody, but I don’t I don’t have my profile ready or a current picture, and yada yada. And you find out that they haven’t done that because they’ve gotten hurt two or three times in the past and then, if they actually get listed or somebody sets them up on a date and they actually go, That person’s going to hurt me. So why would I want to do something that’s going to eventually hurt me. So if they can clear the way, tap away the heartbreaks from the past, then it allows them to look forward and do what they want which is create a relationship in their lives. Or, if they’re saying, I don’t want to do my resume because I keep getting turned down for jobs or fired from jobs, or something like that, then it gives you more clarity about why you want to do this. Sometimes you can just ask yourself: Why am I putting this off? And people will have a little story about it. Well, nobody’s hiring anyway. Things just aren’t going to work. I have a client who I’ll call Alicia, who called me when she was about three years into writing a book and hadn’t been able to finish it. She just couldn't finish it. Fabulous book. And so we went through all of the reasons why, and there were a lot of things in her past, a lot of parental things and failures and those disappointments. And we cleared all of that. It came down to a fear of being exposed, being vulnerable. This was a personal book about her life, and once it came out, there could be ramifications. She could become famous, and that would be a target. There was fear of success and fear of failure, and a belief that people might judge her. And worthiness issues. A lot of stuff like that that we had to tap away. It didn’t take long, we put all of that together under all of her fears and beliefs about completing the book. © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
What if I finished this book and nobody buys it. I’m a failure. What if I finish the book and people do buy it and I’m a success and then I don’t have any time for myself and I’m famous? Or, what if I finish it and people criticize and judge me and tear it apart and… So it was sort of like damned if you do, damned if you don’t. So we had to clear up those fears and beliefs and we do it the same way we just did. You put them in a bundle, you give them a number, and you tap them away. You literally reprogram your mind to let go of those beliefs and fears. And, she finished that book within a month or so of us doing that. Went to the publisher. It just came out, recently, just about two weeks ago and it’s a fabulous book. So once she had those fears and beliefs out of the way, the rest of the writing process became really easy. Which is actually our last step. She chose to finish the book. She tapped on I choose – when she got through all of this negative – I choose to get this done, get it to the editor on time and the publisher on time. I choose to make it easy. I choose to make it enjoyable. I choose to experience the freedom and peace of mind and joy that comes from knowing that I have created this magnificent book. I can’t wait to get it done – and all these positive things. She just couldn't – she said, Oh, Lindsay, I’ve got to get off the phone. I’ve got to go write. I’m just on fire here. So I was kind of with her the whole step of the way along that line, and it’s a very powerful thing to do. Jessica Ortner: And, Lindsay, when do we know when we’re ready to incorporate the choices? Lindsay Kenny: Well, that’s a good question. And usually you want to use choices when your intensity number is down to a three or less. So there are two different elements here. One is getting rid of the past things. So when you get that pile down or the number down on all of the disappointments and failures and fears and beliefs to about a three, then you can say, I choose to let all of that go. I choose to let go of my past stuff. I choose to forgive them. I choose to forgive myself. I choose to let go of the anger and anything else. You’re making a conscious choice to take control of your life and let go of the things that are causing you to put things off now. And when that’s done, then you go back to what you do want and you make some really nice, positive statements about that – choosing to have it be the way you want it to be - choosing to be on time; get projects done easily; make it enjoyable to do them. And you just put in a lot of positive statements about how you want it to be. Not: I want to stop procrastinating, but I choose to have a life full of joy, happiness, clarity and focus by allowing myself to get projects done on
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
or before when they’re due. I’m proud of myself for doing this. I choose to make it fun and easy – and that sort of thing. So you tap in all of the positive things that you want, that you wrote down earlier. And it becomes a really powerful tool that propels you into being a timely person. Jessica Ortner: Hmmm. That is fantastic. As people move on after this interview and begin to really focus on getting rid of this procrastination, what are some tips that you have to help them implement this tapping and these strategies daily to really get results? Lindsay Kenny: Well, if you stay focused on what you want as opposed to saying: Gee what if this doesn't work? Or, what if I keep procrastinating? Or, whatever… Staying focused on what you want is really, really important. And there’s also another tip and with the handouts there’ll be a slide, or a URL that you can go to to find out more about this. But, there’s a part of us that wants to resist getting things done for those payoffs that we mention. And that’s the subconscious. So without going into that now, it is important to neutralize your subconscious resistance to change. Because the subconscious is saying, Oh no. I don’t want to get things done, in Alicia’s case, I don’t want to finish the book, because if I do, are you crazy? Then somebody might reject it. Or, I might be successful and then I’ll be a target or people will make fun of me. So the subconscious is saying, That’s why I’m not doing this. I’m not going to let you have success tapping or doing anything else. So you need to neutralize that subconscious mind by doing a reversal neutralization and you can find information about that on the notes. We’ll have a little link that you can go to for some free s on that… on learning how to get rid of that part that’s causing you to want to put things off. Jessica Ortner: Thank you for that. And I just would like to end by asking you how often do you feel that people should be tapping? Once they go through this entire process, does that mean that it’s over? They’ve figured it? Or, is there some daily tapping that needs to be involved? Lindsay Kenny: No, I think that daily tapping really helps you keep focused on what you want. And we tend to go to a negative – everybody does this. I even do it – saying: This isn’t going to work. What if it doesn't work? And if you stay focused on the positive, saying, I allow it to work. I choose to make it work because I want… And then you put in the things that you wrote down. They become your anchor to go back to over and over again. Every day you can just say them to yourself. But it’s more powerful if you tap them in. So if you find yourself being a little skeptical, Oh, I’ll just do this later, you tap on the positive. You just say: No. I choose to do it now. I choose clarity. I choose focus. I choose the peace of mind that this will bring me. I want to let go of the © 2011 Tapping World Summit
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Lindsay Kenny – Procrastination Continued
stress and anxiety and the way to do it is just to get this done now. I’ve got to get it done. And you’re just tapping while you’re saying this. I’ve got to get it done anyway. I choose to do it now so I can be enjoying myself instead of fretting over what I’m putting myself through and the consequences that I’m going to have and the credibility I’m going to lose. I just choose to do it now and I choose to make it easy. Do you see the difference? A little 30-second pep talk to yourself focusing on what you want instead of being afraid of what you’re going to get if you put it off is very powerful. What people tend to do, Jessica, is, Oh screw it. I’ll do it later. Why bother. And then you answer yourself, Well why bother is because it’s going to make me feel a whole lot better to do it than to put it off and face the consequences. Jessica Ortner: Right. And the difference is instead of having that self-chatter and still not doing anything, you have a technique that actually physically makes you feel differently, and changes your emotions around. So it really is an incredible combination. Lindsay Kenny: Yes. And when you tap as you’re saying something positive or negative, it clears things. If you say, Oh, I don’t want to do it now. I’ll do it later. You stop yourself right then and tap. And start on your eyebrows and you say, Well, I choose to do it now. I want to do it now. I want to get finished with this. I want the clarity and focus. I allow myself to do it, and I choose to make it easy. Right now, I choose to do it. And if you hear your voice saying, No, I don’t want to. Yes I do. No I don’t. You kind of argue with yourself while tapping and I guarantee you the tapping part will win… the positive part will win. Jessica Ortner: Fantastic. Well, Lindsay, it was a real pleasure to interview you and gain all this knowledge. Thank you so much. Lindsay Kenny:
Thank you, Jessica, for having me.
© 2011 Tapping World Summit
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