2009—a Year Of Pain And The Promise Of Rainbows: An Inspirational Story Of A Special Love 4h6c5k

2009 a Year of Pain and the Promise of Rainbows

An Inspirational Story of a Special Love

SYLVIA A. WITMORE

AuthorHouse™ 1663 Liberty Drive Bloomington, IN 47403 www.authorhouse.com Phone: 1 (800) 839-8640

© 2017 Sylvia A. Witmore. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/15/2017

ISBN: 978-1-5246-8902-5 (sc) ISBN: 978-1-5246-8903-2 (hc) ISBN: 978-1-5246-8901-8 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017906818

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Four

Chapter Twenty-Five

Chapter Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Chapter Twenty Nine

Chapter Thirty

This book is dedicated to both the Austin and the Witmore families and my wonderful grandchildren: I love you all very much

P.S. Since this is my first attempt at a true story if I have misspoke or gotten some events out of sequence, you are welcome to blame it on my advancing age!

November 15, 1969

November 16, 1969

Other books by Sylvia Witmore:

Wheels of Danger Treacherous Hearts The Echo of Footsteps The Voodoo Doll A Strange Encounter MADNESS AT MIDNIGHT MADNESS AT MIDNIGHT REVENGE “White Is For Weddings” Shadows of Merrill Hill Dawn’s Darkest Hour Even Roses Have Thorns

Life is not numbered by the number of

breaths you take, but by

the moments that take

your breath away!

-Anonymous

Introduction

I wish for you, the reader, this Old Irish Prayer:

‘May God give you…for every storm, a rainbow; For every tear, a smile; For every care, a promise; And a blessing in each trial; For every problem life sends, a faithful friend to share; For every sigh a sweet song and an answer for each prayer;’

Cancer doesn’t have to be a death sentence…just keep the faith.

This book is about my personal struggle with cancer. Originally it was from an undetermined origin, but manifested itself into a mesenteric tumor…a Stage 4 stomach cancer which required immediate surgery then was followed by intense chemo therapy. It is very difficult to face such unexpected adversities in life but when they are accompanied with the unbelievable loss of an important family member in the same year it can really be catastrophic…to face them both in one year’s time is mind-boggling. Trying to pick up the pieces of your life when your world has come crashing down around you is understandably the most difficult task anyone will ever face. Max Lucado wrote “Struggling with life’s difficulties makes us a little wiser, a

little more capable, enabling us to comfort others who experience pain.” I sincerely hope that my story can help someone else deal with a catastrophic illness. I hope that any person facing this will be able to overcome this disease and whatever other pitfalls life throws at them. The message I want to convey here is that every one has a future; and the way we work toward that goal is life’s own reward. We all need to realize that a diagnosis of cancer is not the end of the world; with faith there is always hope! God is eternal and will always be on your side. The Bible tells us that He will never forsake us if we call on Him in the name of His son, Jesus, who sacrificed His life on that cross so that we might have eternal Life! I read the following recently and would like to share it. It was a video about The Seasons of Life. I’m not sure who the author is but this is very profound, so I’m trying my best to live up to the words:

‘Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of the rest. Always persevere; better times are ahead. Happiness keeps you sweet. Trials keep you strong.

Sorrows keep you human. Failures keep you humble. Success keeps you growing. But only God keeps you going!’

In this day and time, with all the modern medications available today, as well as the expert care of dedicated, knowledgeable doctors, cancer can be controlled

with proper treatment. Of course, there is no cure right now but there are intelligent men and women spending all of their days, nights and years in important cancer research. They dedicate their lives trying to discover a cure. A diagnosis of cancer is a lifetime struggle but it is not the end. The disease can actually disappear for a while; you can be in complete remission for years, then when you least expect it, it will rear its ugly head again. But there are two very strong reasons to believe that it can be controlled. If you have enough faith in your Heavenly Father and if your doctor can catch it in time, you have a chance for a good future as long as you have the right attitude…you have to have a strong determination that you will get well. God closes doors no man can open but He opens doors no man can close! I can tell you truthfully that a cancer diagnosis or any terminal illness will absolutely debilitate you for a short time; you will feel as if your whole world has come to an abrupt end, but prayer, friends and the of a loving family can really help you through the worst of every thing. Background and circumstances may influence who we are, but we ourselves are responsible for who we become. I have always been impressed by the strength of my mother’s unconditional love for her family, so I can truthfully tell you something she told me years ago: ‘Sorrow looks back; worry looks around but Faith looks up; live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us!’ I could never have made it through a single day facing cancer nor find the strength to get through the next day had it not been for my loving, incomparable family as well as my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He says that He will not put anything on you that you cannot handle; when one door closes, He opens another one. Behind every dark cloud, there is a rainbow. I’m still searching for mine. But there is something I want to share with you right now. I do not know the writer of this but it should be memorized by everyone!

“We live on a blue planet that circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea, and you don’t believe in miracles!”

I, for one, believe in miracles!

Chapter One

M y name is Sylvia Austin Witmore. I am a wife, a mother and a grandmother with plenty of loving family and friends around me. The most powerful force in life is love and I have had it in abundance with my wonderful family and remarkable husband. I am a member of the First Baptist Church in Laurinburg, N.C. where my husband served as deacon for two years. After going off the deacon board for a year, he was re-elected as deacon; he also taught Sunday school off and on through the years. I also served on the Church board as treasurer for two years. Both of us really enjoyed working for the Church and on the Stewardship Committee. My life was complete; I strongly believed I had enough love in my heart to face anything, even the struggles and hardships that everyone of us have to face during our lifetime, no matter how difficult they might turn out to be; or so I thought! But life has a way of rearing up to bite you when you least expect it. I have always been an avid reader and I’ve always wanted to write romantic suspense novels. Through the years, I’ve written about a dozen books which I tried for years to have published. I received enough rejection slips to paper my bedroom walls, but I was determined to never give up. However, this is my very first attempt to write a true story; everything else I’ve done in the past was pure fiction which was contrived from only my imagination. In the past, I was able to write the first draft of my books within six to eight weeks. However, this one has taken me years to finish the first draft. Writing about what really happened to me during the year 2009 was a much more difficult task than I could have realized. I guess it is because I had absolutely no control over the outcome! When you deal in fiction you can control everything.

2009 started off wrong for my family with the election of another Democrat in the White House; the year just seemed to go down hill from there. We firmly believed that our money went further and our taxes were always less when a Republican or at least a conservative was elected to the White House. But I never dreamed that the election itself would pale in insignificance with the other momentous events that happened in my life during the year 2009. Up until that year I had experienced a relatively easy, happy and uneventful life. I was the oldest of six children. We were all raised in North Carolina in a sleepy little community with the Seaboard railroad being the largest employer in Richmond County for years. Over two hundred trains used to through Hamlet each day heading north and south as well as east and west. I used to imagine the far away places those trains would finally end up with their engers and I would make up stories of the kind of life those engers might have lived. Of course I never knew any of them at all, but I had a very vivid imagination and it was fun to dream about their successes in life, if they had fallen in love, and how many children they would bring into the world or what career they chose. In Hamlet just about every high school graduate tried to obtain a job with the railroad except for the ones who chose military service or college. My father was a trainman and did a lot of traveling leaving mother with the responsibility of raising six children almost alone, so naturally she was unable to work out of the home. Mother was an accomplished seamstress and did a lot of sewing for us and other customers as well; she also sold Luzier cosmetics, Sarah Coventry jewelry and was a member of the Avon President’s Club for years. We had a wonderful life while we were growing up. We had two very loving, generous parents, a set of grandparents living in Chesterfield, S.C. and lots of cousins. Papa Hendricks and Grandma were my mother’s parents and they lived south of town on the highway down toward Patrick. They had a big farm and a couple of small fishing ponds at the back of their property which was completely surrounded by acres of farm land. Grandma came from a hard-working farming family there in South Carolina although originally her family could be traced back to the Smith family related

to John Smith who married Pocahontas. When Grandma and her twin sister, Mary, were five years old, their mother died in childbirth along with the baby. That left Grandma and her sister, Mary, tending house and cooking for the men in the family who had to work out in the fields all day. They had to stand on chairs to cook the food which was served three times a day but since there was no one else available, they were responsible for the meals to feed the hardworking men toiling in the fields. In spite of such adversities at the tender young age of five, they managed to grow up into strong, determined young women, who then married and had families of their own. Our mother was a strong and determined woman and I guess I have inherited some of those traits from my grandma as well as Mother. Our Papa Hendricks was a tall, robust, commanding man with a deep, booming voice. He was tall, brown haired with blue-eyes and with his bluster and outgoing personality he reminded all of us of the actor, Walter Brennan. His family was of European descent, mostly from England and Scotland. Aunt Margaret has since traced the family all the way back to the War Between the States where one of our ancestors was captured by the Union Army and had to sign allegiance to the North before he was released from prison. After that he was allowed to return to his family in South Carolina. Grandma was short and little, hardly weighing more than 90 lbs. soaking wet. Her voice was sweet and very soft but she was as feisty and fiery as a bantam rooster; she ruled her family with a loving, iron hand; you did not argue with Grandma! At one time Papa Hendricks ran a small store down close to the highway; all of us kids loved going there because there was always candy on the counter which he would cautiously hand down to us. He also ed out some type of chocolate drink in a bottle similar to today’s Yahoo. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that particular chocolate drink sold in any other stores. Of course, you can obtain chocolate milk but this wasn’t milk; it was chocolate flavored soft drink; we’d take our candy and our drinks along with those wonderful Moon Pies before we’d run outside to play. There was always plenty of outdoor space for children to explore. It was always a special treat for all of us to visit our grandparents.

Grandma carefully tended a vegetable garden so she’d always have fresh vegetables to serve with whatever meat they were lucky enough to have on hand at the time. They slaughtered their own hogs and hung the hams up in the smokehouse so there was always country ham to go with the daily hot biscuits she cooked. Papa also grew corn, sweet potatoes and field peas on the farm so it was left up to our grandma to prepare the vegetables and keep tomatoes, okra and cucumbers in the garden growing there nearest the house. He also grew fields of cotton through the years. One year the Seaboard railroad trainmen went on strike in September so we were all taken out of school and the whole family went to Chesterfield to pick cotton to earn money until the railroad strike was finally settled. I can tell you from hands-on experience that picking cotton is one of the hardest jobs anyone will ever do; it is constant, bending over, back-breaking work. I could never do that all day. Picking cotton ruins yours hands, your nails and the constant bending over to release the white cotton balls from their hulls is hard enough but then dragging that cotton bag around with you up and down those long rows played havoc with your back. Unless you wore a bonnet, your face would be sunburned. Another horrible thing was the big mosquitoes that attacked every surface of your body not covered by denim. As small as our grandmother was, she could out-pick anyone else in that cotton field. Her bags would be loaded with cotton by the time she reached the end of her row; mine always only had about a fourth of that amount, and she’d come down the next row behind me heading for the end with another bag almost full, then she’d tease me about speeding up. I really hated those hours out in that cotton field. I would much rather have been sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch reading a good book. Grandma would lift my bag, telling me with a smile that I wasn’t picking fast enough. One day I even picked up several heavy rocks and put them in the bottom of my bag so it would weigh more on the scales. That didn’t work either. Grandma found out and made me sit right down and pick every little rock and stone out of my bag before I could leave the cotton field to go to the house for supper. You can bet I didn’t try that again!

One afternoon my brother Glenn was very sure that his cotton bag weighed at least one hundred pounds and he was so proud of that. You always got a whole dollar bill if it weighed that much but Granddaddy jerked Glenn’s bag off the scales before the hands quit moving around then told him that he only had ninety-nine pounds so he counted out ninety-nine cents to give him. Glenn was so discouraged he never wanted to pick cotton again. During the long summer days when we were visiting, some of our cousins were there and we always had a wonderful time playing outside together for hours. I can’t tell you about the farm and those wonderful times we had while we were there without describing the food our grandma always prepared; she’d actually cook for days when she knew that she was going to have company. Grandma was very religious but she knew that good food was an important staple in a working man’s day to day life so she always set a huge table. Grandma didn’t have just one meat and a couple of vegetables and desert each meal; oh no! On Sundays there was usually fried chicken, ham, country-fried steak with gravy or either a roast with gravy. There was always both potatoes and rice cooked along with every kind of vegetable you could imagine: corn, peas, butterbeans, string beans and okra. They always had both cornbread and hot biscuits with Grandma’s molasses and butter smothered on the hot bread every meal. They also owned a cow so the butter, sweet milk and buttermilk were always fresh. There were always two cakes and at least two or more pies in the pie safe in the dining room at all times; her homemade coconut and pineapple cakes were unbelievably good. Grandma never fussed when a child wanted more than one dessert; she said we’d just work it off playing hard whenever we went back outside. However, Grandma didn’t tolerate any misbehavior at all; she kept a small switch in her kitchen at all times and she wasn’t afraid to use it on our bare legs…if the switch ever disappeared, she would send us outside to pick our own switch. If it was too small, we’d have to go back outside and get another one; sometimes that action usually warranted a second swipe with the switch. I loved the way my grandma said our Daddy’s name… ‘Glenn’ as if he was so special to her. I one night when Papa came to the table after a couple

of drinks out in the barn, we were eating field peas. Daddy kept cutting up pieces of hot pepper to slip over on Papa’s plate. The longer he sat there eating peas, the redder his face became. I don’t think he ever realized what Daddy was doing because he didn’t get mad or say anything but our dad was grinning the whole time he was eating that night. Our cousins, Joyce, Margaret-Ann and Albert, Jr. as well as my brother, Jerry Lynn and I got in trouble with Papa one hot summer afternoon. We slipped outside to the barn, found the bottle of whiskey he kept stashed in the hay loft and poured it out. We knew that grandma didn’t allow drinking liquor in her house; she thought if you drank spirits that the devil would control your soul; she told Papa that lips that touched a whiskey bottle never touched hers, but she did keep a bottle of some type of brown whiskey in her medicine cabinet up high in her bedroom just for medicinal purposes. If we ever complained of a sore throat or heaven-help-us if we had a bad cold, we were dosed with a tablespoon of whiskey which she mixed with honey, vinegar and lemon; then we were sent off to bed. It tasted awful; we had to hold our noses to get it down but nine times out of ten, the next morning we no longer had a sore throat and our colds were almost gone as well.

But that particular afternoon, the five of us were real rascals; we poured out Papa’s whiskey then filled the brown bottle back up with that dirty old soapy water from the kitchen sink then slipped it back up in the hayloft where he had it hidden. We were all out in the side yard playing ball when he went out to the barn that day. A few minutes later, he came rushing out of the barn mad as a hornet. He screamed all our names and we all scattered, running off in five different directions…but he eventually caught up with every one of us. When he did, he had a switch from a bush near the back door. That slim little limber switch could really sting; it always burned our legs something fierce. I didn’t ever bother his whiskey bottle again; neither did any of the others. We never told our grandma what he was doing out there in the barn either; sometimes it is just better just to leave well-enough alone. She probably knew it so that’s why she always kept her medicinal bottle of spirits well hidden.

I guess during those visits with our grandmother, folks could have called us “druggies”. Grandma drug us to her Church, she drug us to all the revivals every time the doors were open; she drug us to funerals making us sit still and be quiet. Also you had to be reverent all day on Sunday. It didn’t matter if you felt bad or didn’t want to go, if a service was being held close by somewhere, we had to go. You couldn’t cut out paper dolls or go to the movies on Sunday either. That was the Lord’s day, a day for rest and not for any frivolous activities. The entire family loved going to the farm out on that road from Chesterfield. We loved visiting with our aunts, uncles and numerous cousins. The cousins were all close to the same age. Believe me, there were always a lot of cousins to play with us. Grandma’s actions had a profound effect on my mother because she was the oldest girl in the family, which in turn, as Mother’s oldest child, had a profound effect on me! But the unconditional love from those two women always outweighed the stern rules that all of the children had to follow. There were a lot of beautiful antiques in our grandparents’ farm house in South Carolina. One china cabinet was the most unusual one I have ever seen. It was completely surrounded by round glass s which sat up high on a slim pedestal underneath. The top part could be rotated all the way around so even the dishes stored in the very back could be easily pulled out when necessary. There was a beautiful mirrored highboy on the right just as you entered the front door with hooks on each side to hang coats or hats. The seat would lift up for storage underneath and it was fun to sit there and read the old Farmer’s Almanac that Grandma stored there. All the beds in the bedrooms had high headboards and footboards. Those beds were called sleigh beds and had several mattresses filled with soft, downy fabric; you would sink into the middle when you climbed up on it. Several of us girl cousins would sleep in one of those big beds and we’d giggle together until Grandma told us to “hush” and go to sleep.

The Austins were our dad’s parents who were all from Union County near Monroe in a little community called Midland or Unionville. They both died before any of us were ever born but Daddy had plenty of brothers and two sisters

left; they all had young children as well so we were able to visit them sometimes but never as often as the other grandparents. Daddy was a double Austin. His mother was Elizabeth Austin until she married John A. Austin but their families were not related unless it was way back during the War Between the States. I Mother telling me that she first learned to drive when I was a baby. We were living out on the farm but Mother had never used the reverse gear in the car. Well, Mother and Grandma left the farm to drive to town one day during the middle of November. Recent rain storms had caused the creek to overflow its banks, so the bridge was completely buried underwater. Grandma started yelling at Mother that she had to back up; they couldn’t go forward due to all of that water on the bridge. Mother told her, she didn’t know how to back up. Well, Grandma told her that she better learn real quick because she didn’t feel like swimming in that cold creek water.

Aunt Margaret was mother’s youngest sister. She and Uncle Dal lived in Mt. Croghan which is in Chesterfield County. They had four girls, Delores, Gail, Belinda and Jenny. We loved visiting them when the peaches were coming off the trees. We loved that fresh fruit every year. Aunt Margaret would also make delicious homemade peach ice cream. I learned to drive one summer while I was staying with them. I drove Uncle Dal’s tractor as well as his pickup but during the learning process I ran over several of Uncle Dal’s peach trees. That accident didn’t hurt the truck much but those trees probably never did have many peaches after that. Originally Mother and Daddy had a farm in Union County before we moved to Cheraw, S.C. Daddy was working for Rainwater Furniture then. We lived on Christian Street; there was a little red private schoolhouse just around the corner so I was able to go there for several mornings a week. I enjoyed school very much because I wanted to be able to read like all the adults around me.

In 1943 and 1944, World War II was being fought in the Pacific Theater and

although surrendered in May of 1945, Japan continued to fight until the United States dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki in July. During that awful time of war when more soldiers were needed, our father was given a choice of going to work in Hamlet for the Seaboard Railroad or actually going into the army for the next two years. Well, with my younger twin brothers, Glenn and Lynn, still babies, Mother was devastated at the idea of having her husband go off to fight in the war, leaving her alone with three small children. After Uncle Dal came back from the war, he became the school superintendent. Then they left the peach farm and built a new house in Chesterfield and Uncle Dal became the Justice of Peace there in that county. Uncle Dwight Hendricks and Aunt Sadie lived in Mullins, S.C. They didn’t have any children but they were both doting relatives so we also loved to see them come visiting as well. Uncle Clyde and Aunt Virginia Hendricks had five sons living right there in Chesterfield: Michael, Everett, Jeff, Brent and Greg. Of course they lived the closest to our grandparents so they were over at the farm house a lot more often then any of the rest of the family. Aunt Bess and Uncle Ted Roscoe lived in Bonnie Doone, N.C. with their daughter, Martha, but with Uncle Ted having relatives living really close in nearby Patrick, they visited the farm as often as we did. Aunt Madge and Uncle Woodrow Richardson lived in Marion, S.C. with a son, Woodrow Jr. and a daughter named Linda. Aunt Grace and Uncle Albert White had six children also: s, Joyce, Albert Jr., Margaret Ann, Emma Jean and Louise. They actually lived the closest to all of us. While they were staying in Cordova we were able to visit back and forth constantly during the summer months. In addition to all of them, there were extended family cousins who came visiting also. I mentioned Grandma’s identical twin sister, Mary. She also had a family of her own with plenty of children and grandchildren who also visited during the summer months. Today’s families just do not seem to get together as often as

they did during those days.

Mother’s two brothers, Dwight and Clyde Hendricks, as well as Uncle Dal, were already serving our country overseas. I hearing Mother explain that every adult in the family was worried about them the whole time they were fighting that war. Of course, the twins and I were much too young to realize what was happening except I knew our mother was upset about something and she cried often.

My little brothers were always energetic and busy little bees…as toddlers, what one of them didn’t think of, the other one certainly did. They were always getting into trouble with Mother. If she dressed them alike when we started to go somewhere, you could almost set your watch; because usually about ten or fifteen minutes later, one of them would be filthy so Mother would have to change their clothes all over again. They could always find something in the house to get into to mess up their outfits…a cup of coffee or juice bottle left too close to the counter somehow ended up on the front of Jerry Lynn’s pants or he would find an uneaten morsel in the dog’s bowl so he would throw it at Glenn and then both of their outfits would get messed up as they rolled around on the floor wrestling with the dog and each other. Once Mother dressed them in beautiful white pants and matching shirts so she could have a family picture made but the street in front of our house had a fresh coat of tar on its surface. Somehow, they managed to unlock the screen door and they went running outside. Before anyone could stop them, they jumped in the middle of that freshly tarred street. Talk about a mess! Mother said she never could get all of the tar stains out of those little white outfits. One Saturday morning before anyone else was even awake they managed to pull up a stool to unlock the front screen door. They ran out of the house and ended up a block and a half away at a filling station on a major highway. The man there behind the counter recognized them then called Mother at home to let her know the twins were on the run. Of course, Daddy had to hurry out of the house to

bring them back home. One sunny September afternoon when they were about thirteen months old Mother said she was sitting on the front porch shelling peas for supper when she noticed that they were riding their strollers back and forth on the sidewalk out in front of the house. Every once in a while, they would hold their feet up as those strollers ran over something on the walkway and they’d just giggle out loud. Mother was curious so she walked out there and found a little green snake lying across the sidewalk. It was no longer alive at that time but Mother was suddenly scared that they could have been bitten before they were able to destroy it. The summer Mother became pregnant with Dianne she said she started praying constantly that she would not have another set of twin boys. She didn’t think she would be able to survive two more rambunctious little boys. As cute as they were, one dark-haired with green eyes and the other blond and blue-eyed, she knew that another set of twin boys would be more work than she could handle. During that pregnancy, Mother was having a really hard time. She was sick almost every day so she allowed Jerry Lynn, who was a favorite of our grandparents, to go home with them to Chesterfield for a few days so she could have some much needed rest. Don’t get me wrong, our grandparents loved all of us but there was something about Jerry Lynn that drew our grandparents like a magnet. Papa called him Barbarema. After the first few days, they talked our mother into letting him live with them for a few more weeks because they enjoyed keeping him so much; reluctantly, Mother agreed to let him stay for the rest of that summer. Lynn had other boy cousins to play with during those summers. The Hendricks did not live far from the farm so they were able to keep Lynn busy so he told Mother that he enjoyed staying there with our grandparents. We were able to visit with our brother quite frequently. Every single time, Mother and Daddy wanted to bring Lynn home with us, but our grandparents begged Mother to let him stay for just a bit little longer.

Chapter Two

O ur sister, Dianne, was born in January of the next year while we were still in Cheraw. She was born in a hospital in Bennettsville; Cheraw still did not have a hospital at that time and Mother didn’t want to have another baby born in the doctor’s office like the twins. While we lived on Christian Street in Cheraw, the twins and I loved to play outside in our front yard in the afternoon and even after dark sometimes because there was a street light close to our house. Glenn and I used to tease Lynn because he would run from his shadow when he saw it there on the sidewalk; sometimes he was actually afraid of it. Well, that particular night, it was way after dark and Daddy had called us in the house several times, but we were chasing each other and having such a good time, we didn’t want to go in…we knew what that meant…we had to wash up and go to bed, but we always put that off as long as we could. After calling us several times, Daddy left the house through the back door, slipped out to the clothes line and pulled a white sheet over his head before he came around to the front where we were playing. He was completely covered with that white sheet as he came running at us, growling like a bear. Well, needless to say, that got us in the house in a big hurry. We started screaming for Mother telling her that a big polar bear was after us. She hushed us quickly telling us that it was only my dog, Snowball, but I insisted that it was much too big to be Snowball. Well, Daddy came in laughing as he folded the sheet up and handed it over to Mother. He said: “Well, you told me to get them in; so that’s what I did. The rest of the laundry is in the basket on the back porch.” I have to say that we were really careful after that to come in after dark whenever Daddy called us. When Daddy first went to work for the Seaboard Railroad we moved out of Cheraw to a little town in Richmond County called Hoffman, about twelve miles

north of Hamlet where the railroad is actually based. Cheraw was in South Carolina and too far for him to travel out to the railroad yard in north Hamlet that many times a week. There were three bedrooms upstairs in this house but the girls slept in one bedroom and the boys in the other. Mother and Daddy’s bedroom was downstairs. The third bedroom was empty and during the day if the weather was bad, we would play in there, but at night it was a different story. We had to go past that open, empty room to get to our bedrooms. With no lights on, that dark, empty room was scary and we would run by it laughing and screaming at each other before an unknown enemy in that room could reach out and grab us. Mother allowed Lynn to stay with our grandparents until it was time for him to start school the next year. It was really good to have all the family back together again under one roof. Daddy actually was really enjoying his work on the trains and he came home with a lot of news about the towns the trains traveled through. Now although Daddy had to travel often and was away from home over night for two days or more, Mother was able to breathe much easier now that the war had ended; her loved ones had all returned safely home and she didn’t have to worry any more about her brothers or her husband fighting in a land so far away from the rest of us. Mother often carried the four of us to Aberdeen to the Saturday afternoon matinees to watch western movies. If Daddy was deadheading back from Richmond on one of the enger trains, Lynn, Glenn and I were allowed to board the train there in Aberdeen then ride on that train all the way to Hamlet with him. What fun the three of us had with our Daddy during those trips. Then mother would drive to Hamlet with Dianne to meet us so we could all ride back to the house in Hoffman together. During the week if Daddy worked on the little caboose when they came back through Hoffman on the train, he’d have the engineer blow the whistle several times as the train went by. Since the street in front of our house ran parallel to the railroad and the #1 highway, Mother would walk out on the front porch. She’d turn the porch light on and stand there and we’d wave to Daddy and of course, he’d wave back to all of us. The two boys would run down the two lane

road toward the track to wave also but the girls stood back on the porch with Mother just watching the cars zoom by. When the train was finally out of sight, Mother would go into the kitchen and start cooking so dinner would be ready for Daddy when he arrived home in about an hour. When we were younger, there was a drive-in movie out on the Airport Road near Hamlet so one night before Margaret was born while we were still living in Hoffman Mother and Daddy took us to see a movie about the Lord; I was about seven at the time; I do that Mother’s due day was getting close but we all enjoyed those movies while eating snacks in our car. In that particular movie about Christ, when that crowd of people forced Jesus up the hill carrying his own cross, I started crying, hoping against hope that they would not kill him in this film. I knew the story of the crucifixion but the unruly crowds and the shouts and taunts really upset me. They made it seem so real that I just didn’t want it to end with His death. I’ve always loved books and movies with happy endings. I cried the whole time He suffered on that cross! As a child I didn’t understand the complete reason for the crucifixion back then. Of course, I learned later that it was previously ordained by God Himself so our sins would be forgiven but of course I was too young then to really understand the entire concept. Two years after Dianne was born, our sister, Margaret, came along. Again, Mother was delighted that she had another girl. She was born in the Hamlet Hospital. There were five of us now. The two boys and I were all three in school while Dianne and Margaret were at home during the day with Mother. Karen was born on October 28th the year Margaret turned five. Daddy was out of town at that time so Mother woke me up in the middle of the night. The way she was crying out in panic, I knew that something was wrong. When I ran downstairs to check on her, she said the baby was coming early. Since I was the oldest, I had to run next door to wake up the neighbors. They immediately took Mother to Hamlet Hospital where she had to have a C-section in the early hours of the morning so our baby sister could be born. Each and every one of us was fascinated with that beautiful little baby. The boys adored her and Dianne, Margaret and I thought she was our own little baby doll. Karen Sue was her name but we lovingly called her Susie Q. We

carried her around and I loved to let her sit on my hip when we walked outside. The owners of Butler Store up on the corner used to ask me if she was glued to my hip. I when she was about a year old giving her one of Daddy’s belts and letting her hold one end while I would gently pull her along as she took one step at a time. I worked with her for a couple of days and then she started taking steps without the belt in her hand and we were all delighted that our baby sister was able to walk around with us. Summers were especially fun for us because on the days Daddy was working, Mother used to allow me to walk with Dianne, Margaret, Lynn and Glenn over to Broad Acres Lake, which was only a little over a mile from our house. Going there was an easy walk for us. Every single one of us learned to swim in that lake. If Daddy was home on weekends, he’d drive all of us out to Indian Camp Lake which was a wonderful place to go swimming back then. Mother would pack our lunch and we would stay all day. I know that our father would have loved to have stayed home and slept some during those hours but he was always good to get up and go with us. Besides I was sure that he was happier whenever he was with our mother. I always hoped that one day I’d fall in love with a good man who would love me as much as Daddy loved Mother. I so wanted to have a marriage like that one day. Every one who ever came around our parents knew how much in love they were with each other. I know that there were hard times for Mother during the days Daddy was away on those long road trips with the railroad. There were six of us now and between cleaning the house and cooking three meals for that many children it was difficult for her when he was gone but Mother preferred doing her housework, cleaning and cooking all by herself. She said I could help her more by keeping my younger brothers and sisters occupied outside so we were allowed a lot of freedom to roam the back fields behind us or play ball out on the two lane road in front of our big two-story house. There was a big ditch with trees on each side with hanging vines back behind the house. We played Tarzan in those trees. We could hold on to a long vine and swing all the way over to the other side of that ditch and we could make up stories and play out our fantasies all day long. But as children we did so enjoy seeing our Daddy come home again. It was so exciting when he came in the door. We would all run to him for our hello hugs.

The younger girls would even crawl up his legs because he’d always bring us something. Sometimes it was a couple of candy bars or he’d just reach into his pocket to produce a pack of Juicy Fruit gum for each one of us. Now, even today, when I smell a package of that gum, I can’t help but think of Daddy and how happy we always were to see him when he came home from all of those overnight trips. In Hoffman my brothers, our sister, Dianne, and I walked down the dirt road in front of our house up to Butler’s Store every day to get on the school bus and ride almost a mile to Hoffman School. Margaret was only five at the time and Karen was still a baby so of course they stayed home with Mother. It was a small school since Hoffman and Marston were both very small communities but we had good teachers; a few lived close by but most of them drove from Hamlet or either Rockingham every day to teach. To this day, I cannot eat macaroni and cheese without gagging. One week we were served it for lunch about four times and on that last day, it was mushy and certainly didn’t have much taste. I only could taste the macaroni shells and no cheese at all so when I thought no one was watching me I finished almost all of my milk then crammed the rest of the macaroni down into my milk carton. The teachers all insisted that we clean our plates before leaving the cafeteria. They were against waste of any kind; well, unfortunately one of those teachers saw me and made me open that milk carton and finish all of the macaroni before I could get up from the table. It tasted awful before, but now that it was drenched in the milk I hadn’t finished, it was beyond awful! But, all in all, our days in Hoffman were a lot of fun and we still have friends from there which we are able to see from time to time.

Chapter Three

K aren was still very young when we finally made our permanent move to Hamlet. When we first moved there, we lived out in Longwood Park. We still went back to our grandparents’ home in Chesterfield for a couple of days each Christmas and also when school let out every June for occasional visits with them. In Hamlet, we didn’t ride the bus to school as we did back in Hoffman. We lived close enough to walk every day. Also we were allowed to walk around the neighborhood freely and visit with friends close by or we’d play ball out beside our house. We had a wonderful life growing up in Hamlet with two parents who were obviously still very much in love with each other; often with a house full of children and our friends, they craved some alone time. Sometime, they’d slip away just to be together by themselves; it happened a lot after supper each night. I was the oldest so since Mother had cooked the dinner it was left up to me to clean up the kitchen then watch over the younger children. On cold winter nights or rainy days I tried to get the younger ones interested in reading books along with me. I loved reading so much I thought they should read also. Mother had always encouraged me to read so I was anxious to read every single book I could get my hands on. I used to visit the library on Friday afternoon where I’d check out two or three books. When I turned them back in on Monday or Tuesday, the librarian told me that if I continued to read that many books during my lifetime that one day I would have enough information stored in my memory that I would be able to write a manuscript of my own one day. So that became a dream of mine from then on…I decided when I grew up, I wanted to write books. But we always had the best times during the summer months when we didn’t have to go to school or do our homework. Mother loved for me to take all of the younger children outside while she cleaned the house and cooked our meals. She could get so much more done when she didn’t have little hands pulling at her

skirts all the time; I never minded tending to my brothers and sisters. I enjoyed being the oldest very much and I really bossed them around. I already told you about that drive-in movie out on the Airport Road near Hamlet and every summer, it was so easy to pack up the car with drinks, snacks and children so all of us could enjoy the movies. When I was older, Mother even allowed me to walk to the downtown theater on Main Street with the other children every Saturday afternoon to watch the new movies. She’d give me enough money to pay for all of us to get in, buy drinks, popcorn and candy to share; we would often stay there until dark watching the serials that always came on before the main event, which often were westerns starring Roy Rogers and Gene Autry. The serials themselves continued week after week so you always wanted to go back each week so you could see what happened. We didn’t even mind sitting through the main event over and over again. I saw my first James Bond movie in that theater and of course, became hooked on all of the Ian Fleming books. Once I even took Karen to see a Tarantula movie when she was very little and she has never forgotten it. My cousin, Joyce, and I saw our first blue-eyed Indian there in that movie house one afternoon. I became fascinated with murder mysteries during that time. I never will forget an actor in one of those movies vowing that he never would make a deal with the devil, because if you did, you’d certainly lose your soul! I loved those years when I was playing with my sisters and brothers. I taught all five of them to roller skate, ride a bicycle and swim and we’d go anytime we had a chance to go out to the lakes. There was so much love and excitement in our house that a lot of our friends wanted to come over to us quite often; most of the time the girls always had some of their friends there, as well as the close friends of our brothers who were always hanging around the boys because there were always plenty of girls around also. Mother never fussed if we ran inside to grab a hot biscuit or a piece of cornbread as she pulled the pans from the oven. In the summers we often had delicious tomato sandwiches for lunch; to this day, I how good those fresh tomatoes tasted that we picked from our garden.

There was always food on our table; it might not have been a four-course affair but we never had to go to bed hungry. Mother had been raised to share everything that she had. There was always an abundance of corn meal, milk, Crisco and flour in Mother’s pantry; she could purchase a bag of potatoes, a can of vegetables as well as a cheap piece of meat and make the meals taste delicious. We loved the hot biscuits and cornbread she baked daily. Once Daddy purchased a television, Mother and I both started watching soap operas during the day and a lot of afternoon hours were spent watching the T.V. especially during rainy, cold days. I have to it that I loved it during the winter also. When I wasn’t feeling well, Mother let me stay out of school and curl up on the couch with a blanket and a book in my lap but the television or the radio was always on. Mother never did like a quiet house and I assure you that there were very few times in our lifetime when our house was quiet! A highlight in our life was one night when Daddy woke us up at three o’clock in the morning to take us down to the train station to meet the Yankees baseball team when they stopped in Hamlet on their way to their Florida spring training camp. I Mickey Mantle was fascinated with Karen and her big blue eyes; she was the youngest and when Daddy held her up to meet him, he teased Daddy about just taking her with him. Mickey took a baseball out of his pocket which he signed then had some of his fellow players to sign it as well. Karen laughed out loud when he handed it over to her. She was much too young to appreciate the significance of that baseball but my brothers and I were ecstatic. We had a genuine New York Yankee souvenir baseball and we were so very proud of it. Mother was a home-economic major and actually taught school for a few years before I was born but unfortunately I was not blessed with any of my mother’s talents. I just didn’t inherit any of her ability to clean a house without a problem or put a complete meal on the table in just a half hour or even make a dress from a pattern. I was a hopeless klutz. When I entered High School in the ninth grade, Mother wanted me to take the Home Economics class. She was so talented with the sewing machine and a needle and thread that she wanted me to love it like she did but much to my

shame and her chagrin it did not turn out as Mother had hoped. My first assignment in that class was to hem a skirt. Our teacher sewed the waistband on along with the four s of the skirt. Our objective was to put a hem in it. It was easy to fold the hem over and pin it up. So I did as instructed then hemmed my skirt. But the knot I had tied in the end of the thread came loose. Although I worked hard that whole hour without a proper knot the hem kept slipping out. The next day I was given my skirt back for the same assignment. This time I made sure that the knot in the thread was tight enough not to come loose. At the end of the hour, I was so pleased with myself that when the teacher called me up, I proudly took my skirt with me. When she took it out of my hands to check it, I realized too late that I had hemmed it to the skirt I was wearing. She was nice about it, of course, but she had to laugh! She suggested that I might benefit by taking a typing course next door that was being taught at the same time. Since the credits were the same, it wasn’t hard to switch over to the typing class. Well, I took to typing like a duck takes to water. After the first week, the teacher took me off the manual typewriter then set me down in front of a newer electric one; then I soared through my typing classes. I loved everything about office work. I also took a shorthand class and made straight A’s in both courses. I could type faster than anyone else in the class so I knew that typing would really help if I was going to become a writer. My handwriting was never the best in the world anyway, but after typing so much those days, along with the shorthand courses, it became even more atrocious so I started typing everything I could from then on; in fact I saved my money to purchase a typewriter of my own to have at home so I could write my stories on it.

I always enjoyed watching Mother do the Charleston; she never forgot how to laugh and dance. She said life might not be the party we planned but while we were on earth, we could certainly dance. She loved hymns and reading the Bible to us. We all memorized the Lord’s Prayer and the twenty-third Psalm when we were very young. I Mother often quoting: ‘Don’t walk in front of me, I may not lead; don’t walk

behind me, I may not follow; just walk beside me and be my friend’.

Mother also sang hymns during the days while she cooked and worked around the house. She loved What a Friend We Have in Jesus and Just As I Am as well as The Old Rugged Cross. Even now when I hear those songs, I Mother as she worked around the house singing those songs with a smile on her face. Mother also told us that there was nothing more important than finding true love; material things could be taken away from you in a single instant, but your family was every thing and those loved ones would always be there with you through the good times as well as the bad…and I discovered that in spades during the year of 2009…but right now, let me return to the earlier years before the road in front of me became really rough. Mother firmly believed that in order to forgive someone you had to forgive yourself first. She said diplomas and credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being; that comes from within. She said we needed to live simply, love generously, care deeply and speak kindly; she was sure you could always find something good to say about every living person in the world and then leave the rest to God! Well, Mother’s perseverance through those years certainly paid off because all six of us graduated from Hamlet High School. During my younger years, I loved reading all the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mysteries. I devoured each and every one of them and even encouraged the rest of the kids to read as well…but they did not receive the same amount of enjoyment out of reading like Mother and me. From the time I was very small, I also loved country music. Mother kept the radio on WSM out of Nashville, Tennessee and every Friday and Saturday nights we listened to the Grand Ole Opry. After graduating from high school, I went to work in Washington, D.C. for the Bureau of Ships at the Navy Department then I was able to obtain a partial scholarship to attend night courses in Journalism at the American University there but quickly discovered that I didn’t want to write for a newspaper or a

magazine so I switched to Creative Writing. My dream was to write fiction, especially romantic intrigue or suspense. Since Daddy worked for the railroad, we had family es to ride the trains, so I was able to travel from Washington to Hamlet some weekends to visit my family. I was able to study during those hours I was on the train so I managed to keep that scholarship for about a year. My roommate in Washington at that time was Barbara Williams who met and married one of the Honor Guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier there in Washington. All of those uniformed officers were outstanding men. Barbara did not marry the one she started dating at first but did marry another one who reminded both of us of the actor who played Cheyenne on one of the Western T.V. programs. His name was Lionel Miller. His family was from Indiana and owned a traveling Circus that went from town to town offering Carnival rides. They also exhibited all kinds of exotic animals and had actors performing different magic and/or aerial acts. One weekend, Barbara took me home with her to Huntington, West Virginia. I flew on an airplane for the first time and when we landed in Wheeling right on top of a mountain my heart was in my throat but I loved meeting Barbara’s parents and we had a good time that weekend. After dating about six months, Barbara and Lionel were married on New Year’s Eve. I was her Maid of Honor and Lionel’s best friend stood up for him. I was very sad to lose Barbara as a roommate but she was happy because now that Lionel was out of the Honor Guard, they were going to travel all over the United States to make arrangements for his family’s Circus. Lionel was responsible for setting up all the schedules for the Circus before it was ever booked in each town. The last time Barbara ed me, she was the mother of two wonderful children and they had settled down to live somewhere out in Indiana. Unfortunately before the second year of college began, out lives changed drastically and this tragedy affected each and every one of us! Our beloved father became drastically ill and almost died and the doctors said he would be hospitalized for a long time and if he survived, he would probably be paralyzed. He and mother had just bought a new house on Entwistle Street in Hamlet;

Mother was devastated. She was so worried about how she was going to make the house payments now that Daddy was not working. In the contract they signed for the house, they had opted for life insurance payments in case of his death but because Daddy had never been sick, they did not take the option of sickness so now my family was facing real poverty for the first time. I knew that I would have to help my family so I went to work fulltime as well as work on weekends for a Hot Shoppes restaurant. Then I was able to send that salary as well as all my tips home to help Mother with household expenses. During the couple of years I worked for the Bureau of Ships, I was privileged to attend a lot of business meetings out at the Pentagon where a couple of the secretaries and I would take minutes at the meetings to be transcribed later; of course that did not happen real often for me because besides being the youngest secretary working there, I also had the least experience but those days were a lot of fun and some that I’ll never forget. The Pentagon was a fascinating place to visit because the people working there only knew one speed and it was ‘full speed ahead’. Heaven help you if you couldn’t keep up with their fast pace as they scurried around the building from office to office. I learned so many interesting things, especially about the Nautilus submarines and the important role they played in underwater skirmishes. I was even able to go with the staff up to Connecticut one weekend to attend the christening of one of the new Nautilus submarines, but when we were allowed to go down into the body of that sub, I decided that I certainly never could have lived on one so my heart went out to the Navy personnel who had to live in those cramped quarters almost full time. Also, one year the staff attended a gathering at the Capitol where I was introduced to John F. Kennedy and his wife, Jackie. They were the rage in Washington, D.C. society at that time and were playfully described as Camelot royalty. Because of our es with the railroad, Glenn, Dianne, Margaret and Karen all were able to take the train up to Washington to spend one weekend with me; we had a lot of fun those three days. I took them out to Glen Echo Riding Park to ride on a huge roller coaster, which was the biggest any of us had ever ridden at that time, and of course, it scared all of us.

Glenn slipped out of his seat to get into the bottom of the car because he was frantic about the fast pace of the coaster and the long downhill fall. He says that to this day, he does not ride on any of the fast rides anywhere. Lynn stayed home with grandmother so Mother could visit Daddy in the hospital. Later on even Mother and Karen took the train to visit me one weekend. Lynn was planning to come to D.C. with them but he was feeling sick at the time so he had to stay home with Grandma and the other children. I was able to use my and come home on holidays and weekend to visit with the family but after Daddy contracted what everyone thought was spinal meningitis and became an invalid, all of our lives changed drastically. The doctors at Duke had given us very little hope regarding Daddy’s situation. His condition was very grave and they didn’t think he would even live. Because his temperature went so high, he even went into a coma; he didn’t even realize he was in the world, so they didn’t know how he could ever recover from that kind of trauma. The doctors told Mother that if by some miracle he did survive that he would never be the same man that he was before. He would probably be completely bedridden and his brain function would be compromised so he probably would never even be able to walk again. They could not even tell us how much damage had been done so they were very reluctant to give us any hope at all. But Mother and Grandma Hendricks had so much faith in God they never did give up on Daddy. They knew that the wonderful Lord they served would not take our daddy away from us as long as we all needed him so desperately. They both always quoted scripture and repeated the Lord’s Prayer and the TwentyThird Psalm during their prayers. They also sang hymns during the day as they worked around the house. I have to say that our mother’s outlook was always quite remarkable. During the time he was hospitalized at Duke up in Durham, Mother alternated visiting with Daddy and working out of our home so Grandma was always around those days to help with the younger children. Mother told me that she didn’t know how she ever managed to drive home from Durham after spending all those hours with Daddy because when she had to leave him she cried all the way home.

Of course when Daddy finally regained consciousness, we were relieved, but the relationship with our father was certainly not the same anymore. The doctors had actually discovered that he had contracted Tubercular-Meningitis so he was transferred from Duke to McCain Hospital for the next two years. McCain was much closer to Hamlet, so Mother didn’t have to drive so far to visit with him. Without regular paychecks coming into our house for over two years, it was a really hard struggle financially for Mother to make ends meet. Of course the First Baptist Church in Hamlet as well as some of the railroad men Daddy had worked with chipped in often to help her make ends meet. Mother worked from the home and Margaret and Dianne helped in the house and also with the care of our youngest sibling, Karen, who was still very young at the time. But as things went from bad to worse that year, Mother’s faith just grew stronger. She firmly believed that if we were all able to pray together we could always hope for the very best; then we would be finally able to bring our daddy home and he would be the same daddy we had always known and loved. Our mother was a very strong, determined person…even with tears in her eyes she managed to invite any visitors to sit at our table after she prepared food for everyone. She considered herself blessed if she only had ten cents in her pocket. Meanwhile, I continued to work at both jobs in Washington, but then found time to take my Creative Writing courses two nights during the week then worked three weekends out of four so I could send as much money home to Mother as I possibly could. I’ve already mentioned our home they purchased on Entwistle Street there in Hamlet before bad luck reared its ugly head and Daddy was struck down with this debilitating disease. Since he was unable to work anymore, Mother worried about getting behind with the mortgage payments. It was certainly a struggle but Mother was determined not to fall behind on the payments. Because all of us had faith in God we worked harder than we ever had; we tightened our belt and started pooling our resources so, thanks be to God, Mother never did miss a single house payment. After Daddy was discharged from the hospital to come back home, for most of

the next two years our father was completely helpless; he was bedridden, depending on our mother and his children to handle everything for him. Then I gave up both jobs in Washington, D.C. to return home to help Mother with the younger children and also help take care of Daddy, who was still mostly bedridden; he remained almost helpless for the next year or so. Daddy required twenty-four hour care and our mother embraced the role of caregiver with unconditional love and without complaint.

Chapter Four

T hat house on Entwistle Street became our mother’s salvation. As much as she loved God and her family, that house meant everything to her…it was her refuge in a storm that she was unable to control. There were good memories there before Daddy became ill…so those were the days that she would and cling to…it was a place where she could gather all of her loved ones around her knowing that everyone was safe from harm while we were all there inside the walls of that house. I know that she would have given up her right arm before she would have let it get away from us. We were able to obtain Physical Therapy services from the Richmond County Health Department for Daddy; they taught all of us the proper exercises we could do to strengthen Daddy’s arms and legs so he would not have to be confined to a wheelchair forever. The struggles and the hardships we went through during those lean years just brought all of us even closer together; it just made us love each other so much more. Soon we began to realize that if we always stayed together, helping each other through the hard times, we could handle almost anything that life decided to throw our way; we could accomplish anything together. Our motto became never give up! The table might not have been an extravagant meal compared to others, but we never had to go to bed hungry. Our mother could stretch a dollar further than anyone I’ve ever known. There was always an abundance of staples in Mother’s pantry for her to put delicious meals on the table for us. With Mother’s expertise, it all tasted fantastic. We Austins have always been a tight-knit, loving family and we never gave up. Because all of us worked together during this adversity, it just made us stronger; we became even closer to each other, pulling together as loving family , depending always on each other, our friends and other relatives for the simple things in life.

As bad as it was during those days none of us ever gave up on our father; we were determined to stick together through thick and thin, knowing we would always be able to depend on our family staying together no matter what. Mother always said the happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything. They just make the most out of everything they have and our mother certainly did that. I sometimes during the long, cold, winter nights, the furnace underneath our house would stop working and the house would turn very cold. Mother would put a coat on, go outside and crawl under the house and bang on that furnace several times with a hammer and actually sit there until it started working once again. But, as often as she had to crawl out of bed and go down there under the house, I never heard her complain about it once. Each and every one of us had specific jobs to do; instead of bitterness and unhappiness, we persevered, rallying around our mother who always offered such unconditional love that we were willing to do anything we could to help her. She had to cope with a sick husband, raise the six of us and bear more burdens than any one person should ever have to withstand. Mother could have become bitter and resentful of all that we had lost; Daddy’s good paying job abruptly came to an end but worse than that, she no longer had a sweet, loving husband who could take care of her; instead she had to take care of six children and a sick, debilitated husband who required special round-theclock care. Now, we had to make it on our own without our main breadwinner. But our wonderful mother tackled her new responsibilities with a determination and a vengeance that knew no bounds; she became the ruling influence in our lives. Anyone who has ever been around teenagers realize that raising them is a trying, sometimes very scary experience, with extremely bad moments at times as well as wonderful blessings when great accomplishments are made; especially in the absence of a dominate male figure in the home. But for a woman without the financial and moral of a husband she had always depended on, it is almost an impossible task. For years, our father was almost like another child that our wonderful mother had to raise; he required so much care that sometimes we would all just sit down and cry over the least little thing that seemed to go wrong during the day. But during those years, our

mother just seemed to grow stronger, her faith never waivered; she seemed to become even more able to cope with anything that was thrown at her. Don’t get me wrong, we all appreciated our father; we loved him beyond measure; we applauded all that he had been able to do for us up until that time, but with his illness and subsequent debilitation, it placed an extra hard burden on our mother. Her strength never faltered and that really made all of us respect Mother even more. I want to tell you about something funny our father used to say. When I entered the kitchen in the morning, Daddy would be sitting there reading the obituary page in the Charlotte Observer. I’d ask him if he wanted me to pour him a cup of coffee. “No, honey; I’m not through reading the obituaries.” I didn’t understand why that would even matter so I asked him. “Why are you waiting until you finish reading that to have your coffee?” He replied in a very serious voice. “I want to make sure my name is not on this page; that way I know I can enjoy my breakfast coffee because I’m not dead!” “But, Daddy, of course you’re not dead! You’re sitting up reading the paper.” “I’ve never been dead before, honey, so I don’t know how I’ll feel when I am; I just feel better when I see that my name is not listed there.” I was floored by that statement but I had to laugh. It was funny! There was a lot of humor in some of the things our father said but back then, I guess I just didn’t appreciate it like I would now. During the lean years, the twins, Lynn and Glenn, started delivering newspapers; they also worked at a filling station after school and downtown at the A and P on weekends. All of us older kids had to work very hard during that time but determination and perseverance won in the end. Mother always told us that we could do anything in the world we wanted to do as long as we made up our minds to never give up on our dreams.

My brothers were talented; they were popular with their friends and their easy going attitude attracted both male and females alike. Mother would give them five dollars to ride their bicycles to the A & P to purchase groceries. They’d make a short visit to the local pool room before buying anything on her list using that five dollars. More often than not, they would team up then win their pool games…a little money was always exchanged because most of the time guys like to bet on themselves. They were able to buy the groceries on Mother’s list, give her back the original five dollars then they would have a few dollars left to start another pool game later. Of course they’d have to tell Mother the whole story but she knew that pool players often bet money on each game and she would warn them that they might lose the next time. Mother had strict political views about the economy. She said that you cannot raise costs during a recession and expect a recovery for anyone; you can’t borrow yourself out of debt. If you don’t work for something, then you certainly can’t expect something in return. Mother didn’t like labels or divisions and name-calling was strictly taboo. She always pulled for the under-dog. She considered everyone worthy of praise of some sort. She said that if you looked hard enough, you could always find something good in every single person. Through those years, no matter how much or how little we had on our table for meals, Mother never turned anyone away; she’d simply share what she had with everyone there always with a cheerful heart. In the early 1960’s I was able to obtain a very good job as an istrative secretary at the J.P. Stevens plant in Wallace, S.C. working as Private Secretary for Mr. Charley Tapp, who was the Plant Manager of Delta #3. J.P. Stevens was a textile plant in Wallace, just about sixteen miles south of Hamlet. I met some wonderful friends while I worked there. Virginia Moore and her husband, Bill; Pat Rogers and Theo Odom were from Bennettsville and we were all able to stay in touch with each other for years.

During the years before my Uncle Dal died, we kept in touch with all of the Hendricks family by visiting their house in Chesterfield, S. C. often. Aunt Margaret and Uncle Dal always had a wonderful pot luck dinner at their house the Sunday after Christmas every year. Her girls were always there so the of our family were able to visit and play with all Mother’s nieces and nephews. We might not be able to see them but a couple of times a year, but it was always great to get together again. Everyone always brought covered dishes to share so it was always a lot of fun; I really enjoyed being around all of my first cousins, aunts and uncles again. Back in Hamlet I was settling down again; it was especially nice to live at home with my family once more. During those years, my sweet mother came into the kitchen every morning before I went to work. While she drank coffee, I had hot lemonade; we always talked together while I applied my make-up and dressed to go to work. Then every afternoon when I came home from work, the house was clean, my clothes were washed, and supper was cooked; all I had to do was sit down and eat. Of course, I usually helped her clean up the kitchen afterward but I really enjoyed those times with my parents but at that time, of course, I didn’t appreciate everything that was being done for me…I guess like all children I was a little bit selfish and just considered that it was my right. Of course, Mother was always busy at home; her hands were never idle. She might have the television on watching her favorite soap operas, but her hands were busy either sewing something new or hemming pants or making alterations for the dry cleaners and some of the shops in Richmond County or just making out orders for the Avon cosmetics she had sold for the next Avon Campaign. One year I wrote a lot of country songs so I decided to take them to Nashville, Tennessee to see if I could interest someone in singing them. So my sister, Margaret, and I rode out to Nashville. I had a little cream-colored Volkswagon at that time so we drove through Atlanta then up into Tennessee until we reached Nashville. On Friday and Saturday nights, we attended the Grand Ole Opry. We met Marty Robbins, Dottie West, Little Jimmy Dickens, Minnie Pearl, Jim Ed Brown and the Brown sisters as well as a lot of the other country stars. We were able to obtain a lot of famous signatures in our autograph book. Of course, I couldn’t interest anyone into performing any of my songs but it was

an exciting time for both Margaret and me because we got to attend the Grand Ole Opry for the very first time. We had a wonderful time seeing Nashville and Music Row anyway. It was a good experience and we drove back through Knoxville and Asheville before returning home so we were able to see a lot of the beautiful country we’d never visited before. I made excellent friends at Delta during the next seven years. I loved working with Virginia, Pat and Theo and we stayed in touch with each other for a long time after I left. But, unfortunately through the years the visits because less and less although I tried to stay in touch with them for several more years. I never lost interest in trying to write books. I had a small Selectric typewriter and I typed stories on it every night and my sisters all loved reading the pages as I pulled them out of the typewriter. During the years I worked at Delta, I was lucky that Mr. Tapp allowed me to sign up for creative writing courses at Winthrop in Rock Hill, S.C. I used the Wallace address so I didn’t have to pay for out of state tuition. Twice a week, I would leave work at 4:30 p.m. to drive to Rock Hill to attend a creative writing course taught by Bob Bristow from 6:30 until 9:30 p.m. which gave me a few minutes to grab a sandwich when I got there just before class. I loved those courses and the way he taught writing skills. He had written several books so he always encouraged all his students to continue writing so they could also be published one day. I was also lucky that my cousins, Delores and Gail Dalrymple were both full time students there so some nights I camped out in their dorm room after classes then I would drive back to Delta the next morning in time for work. Some nights I went back to Mount Croghan to stay with a friend from work, Doris Wilson, and her family since it was a long way to drive from Rock Hill back to Hamlet after 9:30 at night when the classes were over. After those classes, I stopped writing short stories because I knew that I wanted to write mystery novels in the future so I kept a journal with a lot of different ideas that I could refer to later.

Then Daddy’s brother, our uncle Cary Austin, who lived in Cheraw died, and a year or so later, Aunt Marguerite died; she was actually Mother’s first cousin as

well as her sister-in-law. By then we had really drifted away from the few Austin relatives who still lived up in Union County.

* * *

After graduating from high school Jerry Lynn went to work for the Seaboard Railroad but right after that both Lynn and Glenn decided to the Air Force for four years. And those years of separation were extremely hard for all of us. We had never been separated from each other that long. The Air Force has a specific rule concerning twins; if they are separated and stationed at different bases, the remaining twin could always submit a requisition to his brother because of their closeness. It might not happen right away due to the convoluted red tape of the government and sometimes the orders were delayed for one reason or another from their different bases, but soon the orders would reach the proper authority. Then the remaining twin could be reunited with his brother at the same base for the next few weeks, and sometimes even for a few months before new orders would separate them again. The first year they mailed us Christmas presents from overseas we waited until Christmas Day to open them. That was a huge mistake! Then our Christmas was certainly ruined for every single one of us. It was the first Christmas the entire family had ever been separated. All we could do after that was cry. It was sad because even during the two years Daddy was hospitalized and not home with us at Christmas, we could actually visit with him before the day was over. So this was, without a doubt, the worst Christmas we had ever experienced. Daddy was still bedridden at that time. With our brothers overseas serving our country, the rest of us were just devastated. The next Christmas our Air Force brothers were still not able to come home for the holidays, but we were smarter that year! That Christmas while our brothers were still away, we opened those packages the same day they arrived in the mail so we got over crying before the actual holiday; that way we were able to enjoy Christmas Day together without feeling so sad. We missed our brothers terribly, but we knew that this time next year they would be able to be spend the holiday

with us at home; then we would be a complete family again. Daddy was improving so much with Physical Therapy services and home visits from the nurses at the Health Department that things were actually looking up for him as well. With the day to day activities of a busy family life with his young daughters always around loving on him his mind as well as his attitude improved by leaps and bounds. Although he still had to get around the house with a walker, he had again become the daddy we ed; the one we had always known and loved, but of course he was still unable to leave home or go to work on his own. He would always be a semi-invalid but to all of us it was great to have the daddy we’d always loved back again; he was always so special! Then, later on he was actually able to put the walker away and get around the house as well as outside with just the aid of a cane. Daddy really enjoyed sitting out on our front porch watching the cars go by or the neighbors as they walked through our neighborhood. He always waved to them and sometimes he was treated to a very nice visit if they had time to stop and talk with him. During the time our brothers were in the Air Force and stationed over in Okinawa, our grandparents died. First Papa, then a year or so later, we lost Grandma. Because they were so far away, Lynn and Glenn were not even able to return home to attend their funerals. Later on, every one of mother’s sisters and brothers was in the process of trying to decide which antiques from the farmhouse would go to which family; but bad luck appeared again in the form of a thunder and lightning storm. The house burned down with all the furniture in it before the Fire Department was able to put it out. Of course after Papa died, Grandma had lived on a very meager income so she let the insurance on the house lapse and everything was ultimately destroyed. There was nothing left to divide with the remaining family ; they only had their memories of the good days to sustain them. Grandma’s twin sister, Mary, died a year or so before our grandma; she looked so much like our grandma lying there at the funeral home that it was really scary. Then later on when our grandma died, her features appeared to look more like Aunt Mary’s than her own. I was amazed that death could change someone’s appearance that drastically; although they had been identical, the older children

had always been able to distinguish between the two, the youngest ones sometimes had a hard time identifying which was our grandma. When Papa died, he didn’t look like he’d changed much, but Grandma and Aunt Mary seemed to have completely switched identities after death. For all of the next two years our brothers were stationed right here in the states. Although they were either in Seattle, Washington or up in Plattsburgh, New York, thankfully they were back on American soil so we were all a little happier with the situation. Now both of them were able to return home to visit us more often and actually be with us during the Christmas holidays, so our lives settled down to become more uneventful. I Mother telling me once that the happiest people in the world do not always have the best, but they always make the best out of what they have! At the time I did not understand exactly what she meant by that statement. I know that money can’t buy happiness but I’ve heard people say that money could certainly help you search for happiness in style. Maturity and experience will certainly make you realize that concept of life is false. You, yourself have to make your own happiness. After graduation from high school, Dianne went into nursing school for about five months but later decided that wasn’t for her at the time. She accepted a job at one of the plants over in East Rockingham. Since Dianne and I were working girls the two of us went together and surprised Mother and Daddy. We purchased a new living room and dining room set. The dining room set had a wonderful china cabinet. Mother was so proud of it that she kept it and the table polished. The crystal teardrops hanging above that table would really shine each time the chandelier was turned on. One year I bought a beautiful yellow 1967 Mustang with a black vinyl top and four gears in the floor. I was very proud of that car and had I known then what that car would be worth on today’s market, I would have put that Mustang in a garage somewhere and never let anyone drive it but my mother. But, of course, we didn’t realize then how valuable older cars that were kept in mint condition would be worth in the future. Then when Margaret graduated from high school, she went to work in Cheraw, S.C. and rode to work with me every day. Since I had the car we would drive to

Delta in Wallace then she used the car to drive across the Pee Dee River to her job in Cheraw. Now I’m regressing again so let me get back to what was happening to the family at that time. Dianne met Sam Jarrell from Rockingham and was the first one of us to get married and move out of our house in Hamlet. They continued to live in Hamlet for a very short while before they bought a house and made a permanent move over to Rockingham.

Chapter Five

O ne summer I took a leave of absence from work at Delta and rode the bus all the way out to the University of Oklahoma to take a creative writing course there from a close friend of Professor Bob Bristow’s from Winthrop. I was sure by then that I wanted to write romantic suspense books. Back at home I had worked on my books during the weekends and my sisters were always right there to read them as I took the pages out of my typewriter. I really enjoyed my classes there but I had to travel by bus over three or four mountain ranges and when it was time to sign up for another semester, Mother said that it was much too far for me to travel again so I just continued the courses at Winthrop. While Margaret was working in Cheraw at the Sacony Plant, she met and fell in love with Ricky Lee who also worked there. When they planned to get married in February of 1967, Ricky’s sister, Caroline, was also engaged to be married then, so they agreed to have a double wedding ceremony with his sister and her fiance’. After Ricky and Margaret were married, they honeymooned at the beach then the two of them moved into an apartment there in Cheraw. After that I was again driving to work by myself every day. One night during November, I was late leaving work so it was dark by the time I started driving home to Hamlet. I kept looking down at my gas gauge and knew I was getting really low on fuel, but there are no gas stations on that highway until you are back within the city limits. I guess I was going too fast for suddenly I heard a siren behind me. Then the car went around me and I saw that it was a Highway patrol car and he motioned for me to pull over so I did. I wasn’t afraid of him because I knew I had been speeding and he must have clocked me going over the speed limit. There were two of them in the car but only one leaned down in my window to talk to me. He was very nice…calmly asking for my registration and driver’s license which I showed him.

He leaned down when he handed them back to me and asked. “Miss Austin, did you realize that you speeding back there?” “Yes, sir!” “May I ask why?” “I’m almost out of gas and I have to hurry to get home before I run out…” He shook his head at first then both of them burst into laugher. He cautioned me to slow down then still laughing they went back to their car. I drew a deep breath, thankful that I had not been given a ticket, but you can bet I watched my speed the next time I drove on that highway.

* * *

Early in the spring of 1967, I left Delta to go to work in Atlanta, Georgia…first for Ellman’s, a catalog company, then at Western Girl, which was a temporary istrative service. For a while, I lived with my first cousin, Martha Harkins, and her family before I moved into an apartment with a girlfriend which put me closer to work. I really loved working for Western Girl because the job never bored me. I need a challenging job and doing the same thing every day over and over again is very tedious but this job challenged me. I did not have to do the same job over and over again. I was assigned a different job at a different company every Monday morning. I would receive a notice on Friday where I was supposed to work the next week. I worked in a hospital reception area, a real estate company, several doctors’ offices, an architectural firm and a couple of different law officers. Some of the bosses I worked with were pleased with my work and requested Western Girl to send me back for an extra week or so later on. I guess I could say I was content for awhile. I really did enjoy the work but driving bumper to bumper morning, noon and night on a busy interstate to go back and forth to work was extremely stressful. After work I only had a few hours to relax at home before I’d have to begin the

same ritual again the next day. I became very disgruntled with big city life. But even more than that, I was so homesick for my family in Hamlet that I could not enjoy myself at all. I missed them so much and I became very unhappy in Atlanta so I returned to Hamlet that Christmas of 1967 and I did not go back to Atlanta. Both of my brothers were now out of the Air Force. Jerry Lynn went back to work for the Seaboard Railroad but he was still living at home with us. Glenn had moved to Charlotte to work for a chemical company there. I have a funny story to tell you about their nicknames…back when Lynn and Glenn were in the ninth grade in high school, Coach Pruitt called them Zero and Zorro. Well Glenn did not appreciate being called Zorro at all so when anyone referred to him by that name, he told them his name was Glenn and that was what he wanted to be called. They were supposed to turn in a science project to the Coach and Lynn’s was late so he was given an ultimatum to turn it in the next day or fail that class. So he made an ant farm then took it over to the school late one afternoon to leave in his class room. Well, those darn ants multiplied over night; when the students entered the class room the next morning there were ants everywhere. The room had to be fumigated before classes could resume so our brother Lynn got a big zero on the blackboard for his science project. The nickname Zero stayed with him from then on, especially since almost everyone on the railroad is given a nickname anyway.

In January of 1968, I was privileged to go to work for the Plant Manager of Laurelcrest Carpets in Laurel Hill. Ralph Langley was a wonderful boss and I loved working for him. I performed many different tasks as his istrative Assistant so I never had the chance to become bored with my job. One of the interesting things I was able to do was actually type up airline tickets for the trips Mr. Langley had to take whenever he visited other carpet companies in other states. There was a group of us from Laurelcrest Carpets who decided that we needed something special to do on Wednesday nights so we started meeting at a place called The Shangri-La in Hamlet each Wednesday night. We called it Hump

Night because we were over the hump for that week; there were only two more days left to work before we could enjoy the weekend. Late in the year of 1968 Dianne and Sam were the first to have a baby, a beautiful little girl named Samantha. She was adorable and all of us spoiled her rotten. Margaret and I loved going over to their house to swing her with her on the front porch or just play with this precious baby. When she started trying to sit up, we’d place her in the middle of the bed and watch her fall over. We’d laugh and of course she thought it was funny also.

It was there at Laurelcrest where I met a tall, dark handsome guy who also worked there. CL Witmore worked for Gene Walters who was over the Engineering Department. After I met CL, I broke a steadfast rule of mine. In the past, I had never dated anyone that I worked with but soon after we met, we started dating. I had spoken to him several times at work and we had talked together at lunch, but I had not spent a lot of time talking with him at work. The first time we really talked seriously was during one of those Wednesday nights while a group of us was sitting at the Shangri-La. That night CL was driving from Hamlet on his way back to Laurinburg when he noticed all those cars parked in front of the Shangri-La so he decided to stop. We all knew him, so naturally, when he came in, he was invited to our table. I smiled at him and when he smiled back, I was hooked. I wanted to know more about him. Later that evening while I was talking with CL, my brother, Jerry Lynn, came up and asked me if he and his girlfriend could borrow my car. I said okay, but I needed to make sure that I could find a way home myself. CL was sitting right beside me and offered to drive me home later. I accepted and after we left the Club, we rode around for hours just talking and getting better acquainted. We had a wonderful time. The more he talked, the better I liked him. He was very proud of his family and I told him all about my family. He smiled a lot, was charming and very well rounded. He was tall enough so I could even wear heels if we went out dancing. One of the girls from the front office at Laurelcrest Carpets was throwing a party on Saturday night at the Policeman’s Hut in Gibson. When CL walked me to the door that first night and actually kissed me goodnight so sweetly, I asked him if

he would like to go to the party with me on Saturday night. He agreed and from that night on, neither CL nor I, ever dated anyone else. Needless to say I fell head over heels in love with him as well as with his sweet loving family from the very start. I knew I had met a special man like my daddy and I hoped we could build a life together just like my parents. CL had also been raised in a loving, Christian home. His father was a skilled carpenter working at Morgan Mills in Laurel Hill; his mother worked part-time for Mildred’s Florist there in Laurel Hill. His younger sister, Sally, who was thirteen years younger than CL, was still going to middle school so of course she became another little sister to me. After graduating from high school, CL wanted to be an ant so he had lived in Charlotte for a few years attending Kings College where he majored in ing. But before he could finish, he got a summons from Uncle Sam requiring him to for the draft. Since he didn’t want to go into the Army at that time, he decided to the Air Force instead. CL had served four years in the Air Force from 1964 to 1968, just the same as my brothers and my brother-in-law, Sam Jarrell. They also loved sports and fishing and the four of them had a lot in common talking about their service days as well as all the places they had enjoyed visiting. CL also had served a short tour in Vietnam; thank goodness it did not change his personality at all and he didn’t come home broken and bitter like so many of the servicemen did after Vietnam during the late 1960’s. CL worked outside the airport repairing C-130 airplanes and therefore developed a love of engineering and discovered that he was much happier with mechanics than he ever would have been with an ing profession. To say that we had a wonderful, loving courtship is putting it mildly. We were ecstatic and enjoyed being together regardless of what we did. We discovered that we liked the same kind of movies; we especially enjoyed the 007 series and both of us felt that Sean Connery was the best Bond of them all. We enjoyed going out to eat together; we loved to shag and we went to different clubs where we danced to various bands. CL was a very good looking young man, and the wonderful irony of it was that he didn’t consider himself to be anything extra special…he just took his looks

for granted. The wonderful part of that was that he was a good, decent man who had been raised by loving parents who were still in love with each other just like my mother and dad were in still love with each other. There were usually famous bands within driving distance of Hamlet and Laurinburg and we went often on weekends. Of course Hamlet boasted our own paradise for bands…which I have mentioned before. The Shangri-La was actually named after Lost Horizons which was written by James Hilton in 1933. It was indeed a utopia for some of the very best beach bands around and most Friday and Saturday nights, the place was always packed with the younger crowd. Rockingham also had a good place for young people to meet, listen to music and enjoy themselves. It was called Crackers and was located out on the Airport Road between Hamlet and Rockingham; it was usually always a good, busy place for young people to mingle. CL and I loved going down to the beach and he was always so good at the game of bingo; whenever we played he could win three or four times in a row. I never won but I didn’t care as long as I was near him. He also loved to fish off the pier. I was always there close to him but I didn’t care about trying to put the worms on the hooks or take the fish off. Too many times the fish fins cut my fingers when I tried; also, I got my thumb hung once on a fish hook and it hurt like the devil when CL took it out. I decided right then that I was much better off just watching him fish. Some nights after work CL would return to the shop at Laurelcrest Carpets to work on a metal trailer he was building so I would go with him to the Engineering department and sit there just watching him while he worked to finish that trailer. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man. He laughed a lot and was a very competent carpenter and was also a good mechanic. I used to tease him about having magic hands. He was good with electricity and all things mechanical. He was always willing to help anyone who needed his help. From the very beginning, I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him; he was spontaneous and energetic on the dance floor and we just enjoyed being together all the time.

In May of that year CL began to talk about marriage. He didn’t just ask me if I would marry him, he just said that he loved me and would it be all right if we lived in a small apartment behind his parents after we got married? He had a garage there where he parked his Super Sports Chevy and his daddy told him they could add on to that garage. So CL and his dad drew up plans for the addition to the garage. They decided that it would be relatively simple to build a kitchen and utility room right off the garage area and add an upper floor with a living room, a bedroom and a bath. Simple for experienced carpenters like CL’s dad but to others it probably sounded like an impossible project. However, it sounded like a castle to me because I would be with CL so of course I accepted. The next weekend (which was right after my birthday on May second,) we went to Charlotte. His friend, Earl Baynard, invited us to stay with his family overnight and we all drove down to Rock Hill on Saturday so CL could choose a diamond for me. It was a beautiful solitaire and I still proudly wear it today. That summer Laurelcrest Carpets had a big sale on carpet patterns that were being discontinued so CL and I purchased carpet from Laurelcrest at an employee discount for our apartment. We also purchased enough carpet to put in Mother and Daddy’s living room. They were very proud of the results when it was finished. The months from May until November were extremely busy for all of us. Mother was making my wedding dress as well as the dresses for my bridesmaids and CL’s mother was making a matching one for Sally. CL and his dad were busy every afternoon after work and on Saturdays working on that apartment above the garage. Those months flew by….those weeks between May and November were nonstop busy but it was a fun time also because we were so much in love and so happy to be able to plan our future together.

Chapter Six

T he rest of 1969 was a very busy year for all of the Austins. Early in the year, Lynn married his first wife, Debbie, and they settled down to live in an apartment near Mother and Daddy. I’ve already reported on the engagement ring I received in May and how much I loved it. My brother, Glenn, was the next one to get married. He married Teena Pigg from Midland, N.C. and they moved into a house near her parents to set up housekeeping there. Teena and her parents had been friends with Daddy’s sister, Aunt Faye Bruce and had even grown up with all their girls. CL and his dad, Charles, stayed busy all that summer on the apartment right in his family’s back yard. CL was proud of his 68 super sports Chevrolet and that carport now was to be converted into our first home. That car would also bring a pretty penny on the market today if it was still around. CL and his father worked on that apartment day and sometimes even at night. Although I couldn’t do much to help I certainly enjoyed being close while they worked with hammers and the sheet rock, installing doors and windows as well as painting all the different rooms. CL’s parents had a lot of land and his dad raised Black Angus cows and pigs to take to market while his mother kept up her vegetable garden. Needless to say we always had plenty of meat and fresh vegetables on the table at mealtime; CL and his father didn’t think a meal was complete unless they had hot biscuits or cornbread to go with it. I had always been raised in town and living on a farm, even though we were only a couple of miles from town, would be a brand new experience for me. I began collecting different recipes so I could prepare the foods CL enjoyed after we got married. I it that back then I sure wasn’t much of a cook or a very good housekeeper either, but everyone improves with experience and age, and so did I.

He loved a variety of activities and I was never bored with him. I loved going with him to the horse shows down in Bennettsville, S. C. and he actually bought a horse down there one year that he named Onyx because of his jet black coat. On our wedding day, November 16, 1969, CL said that his dad offered him one thousand dollars to leave me waiting at the Church and he would be able to go down to Florida for a vacation. Of course, he said Pa was teasing because he just wanted to make sure CL was serious about getting married. Lucky for me, CL turned him down flat! We were very much in love and when he told me the story, I did not get upset with Pa Witmore; I knew that he was just testing CL to make sure he was doing the right thing. Pa had already told me how happy he was that I was going to be his daughter-in-law. He had a great sense of humor. CL always reminded me of Elvis Presley. He was tall, black-headed and had high, chiseled cheekbones. He had a ready grin and seemed to find enjoyment in everything. I told both Kate and Charles Witmore that I already had a wonderful mother and father, but since I was also going to be a Witmore, I wanted to be able to call them Mom and Dad because they were like a second set of parents for me. Neither one of them had a problem with that. We were married at a little Baptist Church over in East Rockingham where Dianne, Sam and I went every Sunday. A wonderful singer from the Church named Bruce Goodman sang the Lord’s Prayer and Wither Thou Goes, I Will Go at our wedding. He had a beautiful tenor voice and his wife Nadine was also there to witness our nuptials. It was a beautiful sunny day, and of course, one of the happiest days of my life! I was very pleased to see my friends, Virgina and Bill Moore from Cheraw along with Pat Rogers and Theo Odom. Also in attendance there were a lot of my relatives as well as the Witmore relatives. A lot of friends from Laurinburg were also there. Everyone thought that CL was a very handsome groom; of course I agreed with them wholeheartedly. I was very proud of the wedding dress Mother had made for me, as well as the beautiful red velvet bridesmaid dresses for all three of my sisters and my sisterin-law, Debbie. CL’s mother made an identical dress for Sally.

Someone gave us a congratulation card with an Irish Marriage Blessing printed on it; both of us loved reading it:

“May God be with you and bless you; May you see your children’s children; May you be poor in misfortunes and rich in blessings; May you know nothing but happiness from this day forward.”

I was a very excited bride and CL was a beaming groom. Our wedding pictures turned out really well. Dianne, Margaret, Debbie and Sally attended as my bridesmaids. Karen served as my Maid of Honor. CL’s father, Charles, was his best man; his friends, Pat Calhoun who grew up near CL here in Laurinburg and Earl Baynard, whom he met while attending Kings College in Charlotte, served as his groomsmen as well as my brother, Lynn and CL’s first cousin, William Hill. Charmie and Gene Walters loaned us the Walters beach cottage down at Long Beach so we could spend our honeymoon at the beach. We were there during the week the astronauts went back up to the moon for the second Apollo mission. I can tell you truthfully that our honeymoon was marvelous. Some days we just drove down around the beach. One afternoon we went over to the Myrtle Beach to walk around browsing through the shops and we even played a couple games of pool. CL was good but once I was lucky enough to beat him so CL decided that was enough pool for that particular day. There were some wonderful seafood restaurants at Long Beach but only one or two stayed open during the off season but the one we selected had wonderful seafood platters. We could buy one large platter that served enough seafood for both of us to enjoy. When we returned from our honeymoon, we temporarily moved into the house

with CL’s parents and Sally, for just a few days until our apartment could be inspected and the electricity turned on. A couple of days before Thanksgiving, we were actually able to move out of their house into our first home. We set up housekeeping in that finished apartment where we began our life as a young, married couple and yes, we were happy and so much in love with each other. Before we were married, I had confessed to CL that there was part Cherokee in my mother’s family from her mother’s side. After about three weeks of marriage, CL told me that he did not believe there was any Cherokee in my family at all… he said that I was pure, blame gypsy! I guess he said this because I love all the bright colors like purple, turquoise, green and scarlet. I never have never enjoyed wearing drab colors so the brighter the outfit, the better I liked it.

CL had part ownership in a small Cessna plane with Gene Walters during that time and sometimes he took me up in the airplane for joy rides on Sunday afternoons. But one sunny afternoon, one of the covers that is supposed to fit down tight over the engine came loose, flapping back and forth against the side of the plane making an awful racket. The noise sounded like an engine had actually broken off and was beating against the metal surface of the airplane; for several minutes we were both terrified. I just knew that this was it! We were going to crash and there was nothing that he could do to keep us safe, and I prayed really hard to God that we would be able to land the plane safely. But CL kept his head, landed that airplane in a nearby field then checked the outside of the plane closely. He found the piece of metal that came loose from the engine so he snapped it back on properly and back up in the air we went. Thankfully it did not come loose again. I can tell you truthfully that falling in love is the easy part of romance and marriage; staying in love and growing in that love is a much harder process A good marriage takes a lot of work and dedication. It may take a long time to achieve but I confess that it is worth every minute of your hard work. During the first month of my marriage I thought a lot about my mom. She had

worked tirelessly throughout the years making sure that we had good, clean clothes, did our home work and ate the meals she prepared for us. I realize now how very much she did for me while I worked during the day and lived at home. Now, the meals and cleaning of the house was my responsibility after I came home from working a full day. ing the good times with Mother also reminded me of some of the bad days when we were so worried about Daddy. I Mother crying as she sang hymns some days trying to get her work done. Once I heard her pray as she asked the Lord to please save her children and she named us one by one because she wanted us to stay strong in our faith. That really was impressive to me and I hoped that one day if and when I was privileged to have children that I would be as faithful as my mom.

* * *

In December that year all of my family got together to celebrate Christmas in Hamlet; there was only one child to buy gifts for that year. That was my niece, Samantha, who was Dianne and Sam’s first daughter. We all thought she was absolutely wonderful but, of course, Mother and Daddy were very pleased to finally be grandparents for the first time and celebrate Christmas with a brand new life; naturally all of us doted on that little precious child. CL and I bought her a drum set and Dianne told me that ‘there would be payback one day’. Around the second week of January in 1970, CL’s parents slaughtered some of their hogs they were raising there in the back field. They hung the hams and sausages up in the nearby smokehouse. The sight and smell of that fresh pork actually made me deathly ill. I was sick for two complete days after that. I just knew that I had the flu and treated it accordingly but when I finally went to the doctor two weeks later, he told me that I was about six or seven weeks pregnant. At that time CL was working second shift at Laurelcrest Carpets every other week and neither one of us liked that idea. At that time I was working in

Laurinburg for the Four County Head Start Program. CL and I wanted to get both our lives on a work schedule where he could work during the day and have every night free instead of just on weekends. After hearing the news from Dr. Tatum, CL and I were delighted that we were going to have a baby. Of course, his parents were very pleased. Their first grandchild was on the way and everyone was so excited. CL and I were stunned at first but certainly happy about our news; Sally was really tickled because she was going to be an aunt for the first time…but that was only the beginning for my parents. Grandchildren seemed to be everyone’s main focus during that year. Lynn and Debbie had Jerry Lynn, Jr. in March of 1970; then Dianne and Sam had a second daughter named Lane. In May Glenn and Teena had a son named Jamie. In August our baby was born; an eight pound son we named Charles L III, but we decided to call him Chuck. Before he was born I resigned from Four County because I wanted to be a fulltime mother so I was looking forward to tending to Chuck every day with help from CL’s family. Granny and Pa Witmore were so happy to have their first grandchild and CL and I were doting parents. He was born with a head full of dark hair and looked a lot like his daddy. He was a beautiful baby with dark, springy curls. Mom Witmore said he looked just like CL had looked when he was a baby. That same month, CL left Laurelcrest Carpets to accept a position as Director of the Engineering Department at Scotland Memorial Hospital. Now he didn’t have quite as far to drive to go to work every day and unless something unforeseen happened, he could come home at five o’clock every day. I was enjoying having him home at night with us because sometimes while he was at Laurelcrest he had to work different shifts. Both of us really enjoyed being together and watching Chuck grow and learn something new every day. When we had Chuck christened at the Baptist Church, the preacher charged us as parents to raise him in the church to the best of our ability. He told CL that the greatest gift he could ever give his son was to always love his mother. I looked at CL over the dark headed baby in my arms; his eyes were as misty as mine, but he smiled and nodded his head, murmuring softly: “I do!” The preacher looked over at me and told me that I would be giving my child the

same gift by always loving his father. I smiled in spite of my tears and whispered: “I’ll always love him!” The two of us meant that statement with all of our hearts. We were still so much in love and had so much to look forward to with this precious little one now completing our lives. Margaret and Ricky had Kristie in November and I guess by that time our mother thought five grandchildren in one year was by far plenty, but she was still a trooper and was always a wonderful grandmother to all of them. The children called her Grandma Boots and Daddy was automatically called PaPa.

Chapter Seven

N eedless to say, the Christmas of 1970 was a very different occasion at Mother and Daddy’s house in Hamlet. Everything, especially the holidays, had changed drastically for all of us. Now there were six grandchildren around the tree that year at our parent’s home. Five of us had been blessed with a wonderful baby born the same year. We were so proud and hopeful that those cousins would be close and grow up loving each other. With children for everyone but Karen, who was planning to go to nursing school, we all led busy, productive lives in our own homes during the next year but we were still able to remain a close knit, loving family. We still met at the home place in Hamlet on Sunday at least a couple of times each month and every single holiday we all trouped in again. During those times when we were all able to be together, Mother’s meals were wonderful. She was always a great cook and my brothers and sisters all enjoyed the meals and being able to be together again. During those years at Duke and in spite of the doctors’ dire prediction that our father would never make it or ever be the same again, thankfully they were very wrong. Daddy improved enough to walk all his daughters down the aisle when we were married; he was also able to hold each grandchild on his knee and tell them long, involved stories about the big bass fish he let get away from him. Needless to say, they really enjoyed all of his stories regardless of how much he might embellish them. I was privileged to be able to take Chuck in the car some days to visit my friends at Delta in Wallace. I was proud to show him off to my friends. By now Virginia Moore and her husband, Bill, had retired but they were still living in the same house in Cheraw and I enjoyed visiting with them. When Karen finished her nursing training at Cabarrus Hospital, she was accepted into nursing anesthetist school. She eventually married to Ricky Rassette, also from Hamlet and they set up housekeeping in Charlotte while Karen finished her education as a Certified Nursing Anesthetist.

The next year that CL worked for the hospital, they advised him to go to the annual North Carolina Hospital Engineers Association Convention in 1971; he graciously took me along with him. CL’s mother decided she wanted to be called Granny and she and Pa as well as Sally were delighted to keep one-year old Chuck for that week. The first year we went, it was held in Asheville. This was the North Carolina Engineer and Vendor show. Vendors who sold equipment, chemicals and all sorts of furniture to all the hospitals attended these conventions as well as their families. CL had a lot in common with all the other North Carolina engineers. He always went to all of the required meetings and attended the Vendor shows where vendors from all over the United States displayed new products to assist the engineers during the year at their hospitals. The next year we went to Wilmington for the convention; thus we began a tradition that we followed every year for the next thirty years. One August the convention was held in the mountains and on alternate years, it was held at the beach. That is when we started taking our family vacations to coincide with the convention. We really enjoyed those times very much. CL was elected President of the organization one year as well as becoming a Certified Engineer for the state of North Carolina. He was very proud of the plaques that he was awarded and the informative sessions he was able to attend. One year the secretary the Hotel hired to take the minutes did not show up for the business meeting so CL asked me to sit in on the meeting to take the minutes and then transcribe them to out to the Engineers all over North Carolina. That became my job for the next twenty-eight years. I attended those meetings, took the minutes then transcribed them. After the President’s approval they were sent out to all of the engineers in North Carolina.

Virginia Moore’s husband, Bill, died unexpectedly one year and the next year Virginia died also. I was sad to lose a very good friend because Virginia and I had worked in the same office at Delta for seven years and remained friends

until the end.

When Chuck turned a little over nine months old, he started walking. That’s when I realized being a mother was like watching your heart run around the room with arms and legs. When they run, you laugh with them, but when they fall your breath actually stops in your throat until you know that they are not hurt! At that time, we had a German Shepherd called Bimbo. That dog was so smart and he would roll and play in the floor with Chuck like another child but he was very protective. When Chuck was outside playing in the front yard, Bimbo was right there playing with him; however if Chuck started out toward the highway, Bimbo would nudge him back toward the house every time. I did not work for the next two years. I really enjoyed staying home with Chuck during that time. A small child’s love is a blessing and such a revelation…he was always very precocious and, oh my goodness, so active. He pulled up at six months and never crawled; he scooted on his rear end but he started walking a little after nine months…then ‘Katie bar the door’ because he started getting into everything in our house, and heaven help me, he only knew one speed….just as fast as he could go. He loved to run outside following Pa into the pastures and around the cows when they had to be fed. There was an electric fence to keep those cows corralled but Chuck had a fascination with that fence; even though he knew it would shock him, he’d still reach out to touch it just to see what would happen. The first time Chuck touched it and jumped back crying, Pa asked him: “I told you it would hurt. How did that feel?” Chuck told him that it knocked the dickens out of him, but unfortunately that’s not the word he said. He used a bad word that Pa told him he shouldn’t use but Chuck was always interested in trying to find out how everything worked…even that electric fence. If he fell and skinned his knee, he’d run to me inside and ask me to kiss it well; of course I did; I’d doctor it and cover it with a band aid, then he would hug me back, thank me then he’d run outside again, his pain already forgotten…for there

was always another battle to fight and another hill to climb. There is such total power in a small child’s love; a mother’s love is unconditional and so is a child’s love and as parents you are responsible for teaching them so much; they learn laughter, fun and complete understanding of the world around them from you. I have always believed that there’s nothing comparable to a child’s love. They smell like baby soap, shampoo, and Chuck’s dark hair was always so soft and curly, I just wanted to rub my fingers through it; but he’d shake my hand away, ready to go outside and play once more. In January of 1974 CL ed the Optimist Club and started attended the meetings they held every Thursday. This club is a wonderful club whose first obligation is to aid and encourage the development of youth. The club sponsors have fund raising projects from time to time during the year. There are dollar and cents issues involved in club hip and the hospital agreed to pay CL’s club dues at first then it became CL’s responsibility to cover the cost of the dues. The club has a couple of fish fries each year to help with their finances; there are baseball games and tournaments and they have a Christmas tree lot every year and these funds cover the cost of maintaining the ball fields and tournaments with other clubs. The themselves act as coaches and umpires. They also run the concession stands and participate in lots of other activities. They mow the lawns of the ball fields and maintain the baseball equipment. They also have to keep up with the changing rules for all the different teams. Fellowship is a responsibility shared by every member. Businesses throughout Scotland County are proud to allow their employees to such an organization. hip is very important and one of the greatest contributions a member can make is to proudly sponsor at least one new member each year. CL was very proud to be able to participate with other business leaders in our county. I took most of this information out of the Laurinburg Optimist Club’s yearbook which CL collected every year. This club is very proud of its history and service to the county.

Soon my brothers and sisters started having other children. Lynn and Debbie had a second son named Chris then moved from Charlotte to live in Florence, S.C.

for awhile before buying a house there in Hamlet around the corner from Mother and Daddy. By that time, Glenn and Teena had left Monroe and moved up to Roanoke, Virginia where their daughter, Adrienne, was born.

After Chuck turned two I went back to work. This time I took a job in the Radiology Department at Scotland Memorial Hospital. Granny was gracious enough to keep Chuck for us while CL and I worked every day. On February 17, 1974 CL and I had a second son, we named Christopher Lorne. Chuck was the one who insisted that his baby brother had to be named Chris. He wanted a little brother to play with just like his cousin, Jerry, had in Hamlet; unfortunately he was not very happy to discover that Chris was just a newborn baby and couldn’t run and play with him like Jerry’s Chris. At first Chuck told me that he wanted me to send him right back. He wanted a bigger child to be his brother and he wasn’t interested in having a crying, stinking baby in the house, but of course, we explained that we could never send him back. Eventually Chuck warmed up to him and enjoyed sitting in the floor playing with him. Chris was very long and came into the world after three long days of labor weighing in at nine pounds and fifteen ounces so of course I had to have a Csection. I don’t know what I would have done if CL’s parents had not been so close by during the weeks after I came home from the hospital. After my surgery, I had to be helped up and down the steps at the apartment so I spent a lot of my time with Granny and Sally during the day while Pa and CL worked. They had a one-story house so it was easier for me to get in and out of the bathroom there and Granny was always so much help with baby Chris and four-year old Chuck. Her mother, Grandma Ruth Bullard, was staying there at the time also because she had suffered a stroke and could no longer live by herself. It was a lot of fun to talk with her. She had lived a long time and had a lot of interesting stories to tell us. She always wore a lap blanket and Chuck loved to run his little matchbox cars up and down her legs, and she was always willing to allow him to play close to her.

During 1974 we really enjoyed the messages from the preacher at the Baptist Church, Dr. Lamar Brooks. His wife was Mary Margaret and she was a wonderful minister’s wife. Dr. Brooks was the one who baptized me when I ed the Baptist Church in Laurinburg. I had previously been baptized when I was about ten at the Methodist Church in Hoffman before we moved to Hamlet, but had never changed my hip. During the years Lamar and Mary Margaret were here they had a son named David which made them have three sons. Lamar and CL even shared the same birthday in May as well. By now, my brother, Glenn, owned Chemsolv Chemical Company and was very busy, but they still came to Hamlet often to visit with Mother and Daddy. Teena’s parents still lived near Monroe, so they tried to visit with both families as often as possible. We knew that with two boys we needed to expand our two-bedroom apartment. CL and his dad closed in the lower part of the garage, making us a large den. The double windows in the kitchen were taken out and a counter and combination bar was set up there with bar stools so the upstairs living room was changed into a second bedroom where Chuck and Chris could sleep. When Chris was a little over two years old, I began to suspect that I was pregnant again but I had not gone to the doctor so we were not talking about it much. One weekend CL and I were running up and down the wooden steps at our apartment packing up the car to go to the beach for the weekend. I must have been in too much of a hurry because I slipped on the top step and fell all the way to the bottom landing hard on my rear end. CL made me throw those bedroom slippers I was wearing into the trash can right then. I was stunned at first but since I wasn’t hurt, I surmised that I was going to be all right so we loaded up the car with Chuck and Chris then headed to the beach to meet Sally, Granny and Pa. On Sunday night when we returned from the beach, I went into the bathroom to take a shower before bed. While I was standing under the warm water, I realized that I was hemorrhaging so I knew that I must have suffered a miscarriage. I wasn’t in any pain and since it didn’t last long, I wasn’t worried. The next morning I called the doctor and he scheduled me for an appointment on Wednesday morning. After his examination, he told me that yes, I had experienced a miscarriage.

I was so upset; I blamed myself thinking that my fall had caused it so I was almost inconsolable. Dr. Tatum assured me that the fall had not contributed to the loss of the baby at all. The baby was in a secure place surrounded by water so even a hard fall down some steps would not have caused the miscarriage if the fetus had been viable in the first place. He told me that a spontaneous miscarriage was nature’s way of getting rid of imperfections. I took his words to heart and I tried not to be upset any longer and I was thankful that we had two healthy little boys. I was sad, of course, but the Dr. assured me that I would be able to have another child without any problem.

He was right! In May of 1977, we were lucky enough to welcome our third son, Kevin Lee. Because of unforeseen complications following my second C-section we agreed that three sons were enough for us. I had always wanted a little girl but we decided not to have any more children. CL said that he did not want to have an entire ball team trying to find a single cheerleader. I really had a very hard time after Kevin’s birth. I was in ICU for three days before I was even able to see the baby for the first time. CL was at the hospital every four to six hours to feed him until I was able to leave the ICU unit. I will always be grateful to Dr. Bill Purcell. He came through those ICU doors on Friday morning and put that beautiful little boy in my arms. He told me that everything I had gone through was worth it because I had a gorgeous healthy eight pound son. Several days later we brought him home and settled down with our three wonderful sons. While I was pregnant with Kevin, I had accepted a job with the Scotland County Home Health Agency which was part of the Scotland County Health Department. Before that, I had been working at home typing up insurance forms for the Hospital. One day CL would bring me a stack of forms and I would type them up the next day. He would take the finished forms back to the hospital and then bring me another stack to complete the next day but I gave that up when I went to work fulltime for Home Health.

CL and I raised our three boys with lots of love and much pride; we were very grateful to accept nearby help from CL’s loving parents and their Aunt Sally. Of course, at the appropriate times, we had both Chris and Kevin christened in our church and promised God that we would raise them in a loving, Christian home as well, and regardless of the pitfalls along the way we intended to do just that! I never thought much about what an awesome responsibility raising children was until after I had three of my very own…then and only then did I realize the tremendous burden my mother had experienced raising the six of us almost singlehandedly. It was only after I was busy at home with my wonderful, energetic young boys that I could really appreciate what my mother went through during those days Daddy was gone on his railroad trips when she had the total responsibility of six children. I do know that later I told her how much I loved her and appreciated every single thing she had been able to do for all of us. I apologized for not telling her before how grateful I was for all the things that she had done for us through the years before now, but it felt good to let her know my gratitude for all the things she had given all of us and we certainly loved her for the sacrifices she made. As children we had accepted the care she gave without question. Mother hadn’t complained all that much about how hard it was to bring up your children but I realized during some of my busiest days that she must have been mortified at the long road she had in front of her to raise six of us from infants to adults with Daddy away most of the time during the early years working on the railroad and then his sickness afterward.

After our Kevin was born, Karen and Rick had a daughter named Raven in 1979 while they were living in Charlotte. Then they moved to Roanoke, Virginia also and a couple of years later a second daughter, Lauren, was born in 1981. During the years CL and I stayed friendly with the couple who had loaned us the cabin down at Long Beach for our honeymoon. As a family we really loved going over to Charmie and Gene Walters’ home in Laurel Hill to watch horror movies every Halloween. Then when they moved away to Atlanta, Georgia we started driving down there to visit them once or twice a year but a visit like that

was never easy. Though our trip was long with three young sons in a car for six or seven hours, it was all worthwhile when we arrived to be with our friends again. Although our lives in our own homes were very, very busy, we still managed to see Mother and Daddy and get together with each other quite frequently; our children loved playing together. Since the cousins were all around the same age and they were able to get together with each other quite often so they all grew extremely close. When CL first went to work at Scotland Memorial Hospital, he had a secretary named Janet, but later on when the hospital downsized, she had to go on halftime so she resigned to go to work somewhere full-time. Virginia McLean was already working for the hospital in a different department so she was hired to come into the Engineering Department half-time, then she worked for another department the rest of the time. CL really enjoyed working with Virginia, who is still employed at Scotland Memorial Hospital in the Engineering Department today.

When Margaret and Ricky had a second daughter, they named her Nicole. Then we all experienced a couple of rough years with Lynn and Debbie. Soon they separated and she moved to Bennettsville, leaving the boys to stay with their dad in Hamlet. Once again Mother and Daddy assumed more responsibility because they were able to keep Jerry and Chris for Lynn while he was away working on the railroad. Mother’s life was again very busy with her husband to take care of, as well as the addition of two young, energetic boys to care for, but she loved it. They were also a lot of company for Daddy. Later on my brother, Lynn, met and married a nurse named Joy from Rockingham so Mother and Daddy didn’t have to keep Jerry and Chris any longer, but living so close, they still were constant visitors. All in all the rest of us were able to get together with our other siblings as often as possible and we certainly still enjoyed our times together. Then Joy and Lynn bought a house over at the Pine Lakes subdivision in

Rockingham near the country club on the #1 highway. It had a swimming pool in the back yard and there were always children in and around that pool during the hot summer months. Later on Joy and Lynn had twins, Stephen and Lisa. I guess my mother thought that fifteen grandchildren were a gracious plenty for anyone to have, and things needed to slow down, but our parents’ hearts were big and there was enough love in that house to go around for everyone. There was always a lot of laughter during our visits; we played often with each other, and, naturally some accidents certainly happened at different times during the years when we were together with Mother and Daddy on Entwistle Street. The boys were all an energetic bunch and the girls tried their best to keep up with them. We played soft ball on the street in front of the house, hid colored egg hunts each Easter and enjoyed our siblings’ children as much as we could. During those times we were always so busy with our own kids that it was hard to find time to pay much attention to anyone else’s children but they certainly did enjoy playing together. A lot of Sunday afternoons, the guys would go down to City Lake to go fishing while the women would stay at home to watch the children or either take them all to a movie at the theater over in Rockingham.

Some Sunday afternoons the men would congregate around the Pool Room downtown on Main Street in Hamlet. It was an all-masculine hangout. Women were not allowed inside. It was fine for us to drop off our husbands, fathers, or brothers, then come back to pick them up at a later time, but this was a special place where guys could connect with each other, to meet up with old friends and meet new ones. Guys have a natural instinct that makes them want to get out of the house and hang out with other guys for a little while. It is something that has been ingrained in them from their forefathers and their forefathers before them. Atkinson’s Pool Room was such a place in Hamlet during those years. All of our lives took on a greater purpose as everyone tried to work and raise our children to the best of our ability. CL and his dad built a playhouse in the back yard for our sons. They devised all sorts of weapons they could use to have gunfights in the back yard and around the woods closest to our house.

Anything they could find that was in the shape of a gun was a real find. A long limb could represent a rifle or a shotgun in their imagination or a small piece of wood that was shaped like a pistol made a great weapon. Of course when birthdays and Christmas came along, they received toy guns with a belt and two holsters so they could really play serious cowboy and Indian games with each other. These toys looked much more realistic than their wooden models. Chuck and Chris had bicycles and Kevin had a tricycle they enjoyed riding. But Chuck could never keep the front tire of his bike pumped up. He loved to ride fast and he’d build a small platform across the ditch behind our house and then proceed to jump across to the other side. Of course that always flattened that front tire and he’d go to Pa to have it pumped up again. They always had dogs around as pets and when they would run through the yard shooting at each other, their dogs just added even more sound effects as they ran around chasing the boys. The imagination of children has no limits. They could play cowboys one day, war the next or once the Star Wars and Star Trek movies came out, they could fly across the sky in their imaginary space ships.

I was really enjoying my work with Home Health. When you work for the state of North Carolina, the insurance and retirement benefits are wonderful although the salaries themselves are not anything to really brag about but I had some really good times while I worked in Home Health with some of my favorite nurses: Sarah Riggins, Doris Deffenbaugh, Miriam Bounds, Karen Patten, Courtney Carmichael and Jane Schroeder. Also I became very good friends with a couple of other secretaries at the Health Department. We stayed close through the years and I still share good times with Lynda McMillan and Peggy Robinson.

Our Health Director, Lucille Bridgeman, was one of the first women in North Carolina to be named Health Director without having a Doctor’s and/or Master’s degree.

Through the years, I had worked for some very good bosses but I have to it that Jane Schroeder was one of the best bosses I’ve ever had the privilege to know. In spite of the fact that we were best friends after five she treated me the same as everyone else during our working hours. She was always the same every day. She never changed and was not bossy or prone to mood changes at all. Her daughter, Laurie, was a member of the Scotland High School Band during the years Kevin played football and we were able to hang out at all the home games then travel together for the games that were scheduled out of town. Jane and I enjoyed our occasional girls’ nights out. We had a wonderful time line dancing and also meeting at different places for dinner together or as two couples with our husbands when they could get away with us.

Chapter Eight

W hen Granny and Pa were first married, her parents gave her a parcel of land next door so they could build a house and live close to them. Around 1976 or 1977 Granny’s brother, Malcolm Bullard, decided to sell the old home place next door. This is the house where Granny was born as well as her father and his father. Granny talked to CL and me about purchasing the house from her brother. She certainly didn’t want strangers living in the house where she was raised, and it was great to think that our children would be the fifth or sixth generation of the same family living in that house. We tried to find out exactly when it was first built, but the early papers stating the original date, which was stored in the county seat had been destroyed by a fire. But it is believed that the house was built somewhere in the 1820’s, maybe 1827 or 1829. I can testify that the electricity was light bulbs hanging on a wire from the ceiling; there were no closets or bathrooms inside; only an outdoor privy a few yards behind the house…much too ancient for me to ever want to darken that door. That big two-story house with three wraparound porches needed a lot of work and even more tender loving care. The amazing thing about that house was that the joists underneath the floor were whole trees that had been sawed in half and put under the house as and they still had the rough bark of the trees on them. They had only cleaned one side of the trees before they were nailed underneath. Pa and CL and I worked long hours trying to restore this house, trying to get it ready for occupancy. Granny was usually busy cooking meals for everyone as well as helping out with the care of the boys. Granny said that she couldn’t do much about the restoration but she could watch the boys and certainly cook our meals. The marvelous thing about CL is that he could do anything with his hands if he really wanted to; that was the talent he’d inherited from his carpenter

father….but it was also marvelous that he could fix anything mechanical or electrical that was broken as well; he knew exactly what had to be done in order to fix it. Anyway, there were no closets anywhere and of course, no bathrooms inside the house. There were actually three long porches in all and eleven outside doors. I decided that with three sons living here, I didn’t want to go around every night making sure that all those doors were locked so CL closed in some of the porches and installed windows where most of the doors used to be. He turned one of the porches into a utility room for the washer and dryer and built walk-in closets both upstairs and down, as well as two full bathrooms. The woodwork in the house was absolutely beautiful; it was made of solid wood but had been painted a gory color of green so CL and I carefully removed all of the woodwork then sanded down the boards to the natural wood with our own hands. Then we carefully stained them and put them back up around all the doorframes and windows. What started out as an old wooden house seriously in need of renovation became a house that we could be proud of; it became our sanctuary and despite the blood, sweat and tears that went along with the restoration, we were very proud of our work. This house gave us such a wonderful sense of accomplishment because we were able to do so much of the work ourselves. We were very proud of the results of the finished wood that now looked brand new again. We put a lot of time and effort into that house and it was a lot of hard, backbreaking work but the finished product was well worth it. Also our sons’ hands had worked with the mortar and the bricks in the fireplace and chimneys. They also applied some of the shingles on the roof and they worked hard right along with their dad to rebuild the front porch that was badly in need of repair. The house was old enough to be added to the Scotland County Historical but their demands stipulated that we could not change the facade outside at all. We could paint but the outside exterior of the house had to stay intact. We just couldn’t deal with leaving all those doors and porches the same. We would not have been able to add the bathrooms, closets or that utility room. CL and his dad turned the back side porch into a nice room for a long freezer,

our washer and dryer and lots of shelves to store canned goods. He built walk-in closets both upstairs and down as well as the two bathrooms. We didn’t like the way the kitchen and the dining room were situated with a small door on one side and an open see-through fireplace separating the two rooms. He and his dad knocked the wall down and then had a new fireplace built against the back of the boys’ bedroom downstairs, making it one great room with the kitchen at the far end and a sofa and chairs and our entertainment center at the opposite end.

One summer while we were replacing all of the windows in the house we had a surprise visitor. While we were working we kept all the windows open because it was really hot outside. The electricity had not been turned on yet. Without an air conditioner, we certainly welcomed the cool breeze when it blew through the open windows into the rooms where we worked. CL was installing the pipes underneath the house leading into the downstairs bathroom. The entire floor in the hall was open from the master bedroom into the boys’ bedroom. The opening there was a good five and one-half feet wide but it gave CL much easier access while he was working under the house; it was easy to work on the plumbing beneath the hall there without having to crawl underneath the entire width of the house. He had decided to tear down the front staircase and was going to erect one just around the corner from the great room. Pa was always willing to help us, but on this particular day, CL and I were working out at the house alone. CL sent me upstairs to get another two by four to use as leverage under the house. He had left the stack of new windows standing up next to the old staircase in the downstairs front hall. As I ed by those windows, I saw a crow bar lying across the top of the windows. I knew that once CL started on the rafters in the bathroom, he would need that crow bar to pull out any bent nails so I picked it up to carry it to him. Only it wasn’t a crow bar! It was a five foot black snake that had slithered from that big oak tree outside into the house through the open windows upstairs. That snake was lying in the cool hall across the glass windows CL had stacked out there.

Well I don’t know who was more surprised, that snake or me…but when it stuck out its tongue at me like he wanted to bite the nose off my face, I dropped it like a hot potato and starting screaming to the top of my lungs. CL had moved into the boys’ bedroom for something by that time. He said he heard me scream, turned around, and then saw me coming. He said he heard one, two taps of my feet before I flew across that open hallway, jumping straight up into his arms, straddling his waist as I held on for dear life. I tried to speak but the words just wouldn’t come. I was shaking and crying at the same time….trying to say, “Snake….snake.” I finally was able to explain that I had just picked up a black snake to bring him and he tried to bite me. CL tried to calm me down before he decided to go look for himself; sure enough there was a long black snake inside the house out in the hall. By now the snake had wrapped itself several times around the newel post at the bottom of those stairs. CL had a devil of a time trying to get that snake uncoiled from that newel post; I guess I had scared that snake as much as he scared me.

Later CL said that he would never have to worry about me because if any one ever tried to bother me that he knew I would be able to get away. If the need ever occurred, he knew I could fly because he saw me do it!

I don’t actually know who did it, but a day or so later, someone tried to pull a fast one on me. When I came out to the house to stain some of the woodwork, I unlocked the door to come inside. Lying there just across the threshold in the front hall was a black crow bar. I jumped back really startled at first but managed not to scream bloody murder. I guess someone just wanted to make sure that from then on, I would know the difference between a crow bar and a long, black snake. Life with CL was always wonderful! Loving him was the easiest thing I’ll every do again. When we walked side by side out to see Granny and Pa at their house he always

held my hand. I always enjoyed being right by his side. He always told me how much he appreciated the simple, thoughtful things I did for him….except for the days I spent in the hospital having our boys I did not wake him up in the morning until I had a hot cup of coffee to offer him. He always bragged that he had breakfast in bed every morning. We laughed together, we worked on our house together and sometimes we even cried together….especially when one of our sons excelled in something they were doing that made us so proud. Of course, those were always tears of joy and our sons gave us plenty of times to experience pride in their accomplishments. Granny said that after Chuck was born, our preacher, Dr. Mullinax, at the First Baptist Church was the first one to call her ‘Granny’ and she loved it, but her sister, Isabelle told her that she was much too young to be a granny but Mom was determined that was the name she wanted the grandchildren to call her. We all have fond memories of Aunt Isabelle. She had no children of her own but she came over often to see our sons and she always brought them a bag of candy. They started calling her Candy Belle and that name stuck so for years, Aunt Isabelle was known as Candy Bell. While our children were babies, CL’s mother was so good to come over to the apartment every morning to dress them for the day while CL and I were getting ready to go to work ourselves. She was such a help with the children.

We were all sad when Mother started losing her brothers and sisters. The bad news seemed to come too close together for any of us to handle. Uncle Dwight died first then a little later we lost Aunt Grace. After that, we also lost Aunt Madge, then Aunt Bess and last it was Uncle Clyde. Now Mother and Aunt Margaret were the only siblings left from that Hendricks family but thankfully the two of them were able to stay in with each other and visit as often as possible.

Sadly to say we lost our father in 1987. He had a ruptured abdominal aneurysm. By that time, Karen was working as a Nursing Anesthetist in Raleigh so Daddy was moved from Moore County Hospital to Rex Hospital; thus began those long

trips back and forth to Raleigh so we could visit him. Granny and CL’s father, Charles, and his sister Sally, all three were very good about keeping the children so we could make that long trip every day. CL never complained about driving the two hours up to Raleigh to see Daddy so I could be with my family during this trying time. We left Laurinburg after work at five every day, coming back home after midnight; then we had to get up to go back to work the very next morning and repeat the same ritual that afternoon after work. CL was so good and understanding with me. He was such a caring, loving man; he was willing to do anything to help me get through such a horrible ordeal and even though I loved him deeply the day I married him, I just fell more in love with him during that tragic time. I was always too upset about Daddy to drive myself to the hospital but CL took care of that for me and he never complained once. During our trips up to Rex Hospital, we never knew what we would find when we got there. It was always touch and go with Daddy’s condition during the next two and one-half weeks. We didn’t know if he would still be alive or not. But Daddy hung precariously to life, fighting desperately to live. He struggled, constantly fighting to live for twenty-one long days before all of his organs finally shut down completely. He had a strong, loving heart and that was the last to go. The day our father died all of us were in his ICU room holding hands with each other as well as with Mother. We stood there singing hymns and repeating bible verses, hoping against hope that our daddy would hear us and know that we were praying that he would be able to respond. The doctors and nurses were right there trying their best to prolong his life, but when things started deteriorating there was nothing else any of them could do for him. He was in God’s hands now.

CL held me in his warm arms and allowed me to cry. I was devastated because I knew I’d never see Daddy again. CL was so comforting but he was serious when he told me that should something like that ever happen to him, he did not want to linger around suffering through all of that pain and the many surgeries like my

dad had endured during those last days. Through my tears I assured CL that I wouldn’t let that happen to him; I didn’t want that for myself either. With the death of one parent, the existence in our own homes did not change very much; life still has to go on when you’re raising children, even after losing a loved one; we still had our own daily trials and tribulations in our own homes and every one of us led busy, productive lives with our daily work and tending to all our children. Of course, we loved our daddy very much; we missed him every day but it was our dear, sweet mother whose life had changed so drastically. She was a widow now, living alone and although she had plenty of visits from all of us, we could not be there for her during the weeks we were working. We visited her on weekends but then had to leave and go back to our own homes, our children and our jobs.

Lynn’s two sons, Jerry and Chris, moved back in with Mother for awhile until she could adjust to living by herself for the first time in her life. We were really extra busy in 1988 and 1989 moving from the small apartment to the much larger home place. We still had a lot of work to do to finish the restoration. Though the house still needed some work with some of the uncompleted rooms, we moved from our apartment to the big house just before Christmas in 1988. It was much larger than our apartment had been so we were able to spread out more. I loved our combination great room and kitchen. It was a big room with a new fireplace in the center of one wall. CL refinished a beautiful walnut plank for the mantle over the fireplace and it was beautiful. We had carpet installed in the great room but added linoleum in the kitchen part. We also put carpet in the boys’ bedroom. CL and I slept in the den on a sleeper sofa because our bedroom at the front of the house was still unfinished. Pa and Granny bought bunk beds for Chris and Kevin and Chuck made his bedroom upstairs at the top of the landing. CL and Pa had made Chuck a solid wood youth bed when he was about three years old and CL put that upstairs for Chuck. The bed was made of solid wood and had big drawers underneath where he could keep his personal belongings as well as some of his clothes The old house had pie safes, wardrobes and a large highboy with shelves and a

mirror across the front. CL was able to pick up a couple more antique pieces of furniture so we settled down in that big house to enjoy our new life. It was great to spread out after living so closely together in the apartment for so many years. We had bought our appliances from Sears before we moved in and now it was great to use a new built-in oven, range, dishwasher and new washer and dryer. It was exciting to watch CL and his dad install those new appliances and all the kitchen counters and cabinets. The kitchen in the old apartment could fit here about three times so I was really looking forward to having so much more room.

Chapter Nine

I n the early 1990’s Mother fell and broke her shoulder in exercise class. She had broken a wrist several years before but that wasn’t as drastic as this break. She was moved to Scotland Memorial Hospital where Dr. Ralph Carter set her shoulder and since she could not function alone with only one working arm, she moved into the house with us and I set up Home Health with Physical Therapy services during the day for her while I was at work. Jane and Bill Schroeder loaned us a nice roll away bed for Mother to use there in our great room. The guest bedrooms are upstairs and Mother was unable to climb the steps without worrying about falling again. There were only bunk beds in the boy’s room downstairs so we made Mother quite comfortable there in the great room. Mother became very fond of her Physical Therapist, Debbie Chavis, and looked forward to her visits a couple of times a week. Also, it was fun to have my brothers and sisters come visit Mother at our house. Of course we did take her back to Hamlet each weekend because she missed her house so much. Then we’d bring her back home with us on Sunday night so Home Health could continue their visits. Unfortunately one year unexpectedly my friend, Jane’s husband, Bill, who worked at Waverly Mills here in Scotland County, was caught in the company’s plan to downsize and his position was phased out. He moved up to Marion, N.C. to accept a position there although Jane and their daughter, Laurie, remained in their home here until she could graduate from Scotland High. After Laurie’s graduation, Jane sold their house here so she and Laurie moved away to be with Bill. Of course I was very upset; I missed her friendship very much although we stayed in touch by long-distance phone calls, cards, letters and e-mails.

As I stated earlier, CL was staying very busy at the Hospital during this time. He

made really good friends there with his co-workers and the doctors on staff at the hospital. He was especially fond of Dr. Paul Rush, who served as Chief of Staff as well as Dr. Ralph Carter in the Orthopedic Office. CL enjoyed talking to the two of them and he said that the hospital was now in good hands when anyone had to have treatment for broken extremities or should ever need knee, hip and/or shoulder replacements. Also, I really enjoyed my work as a medical transcriptionist and I was privileged to work with a lot of nice people during the years we were still attached to the Health Department; then Home Health was bought out by Scotland Memorial Hospital for several years. Of course then we were no longer under the state of North Carolina’s retirement plan. Then several years later the agency was purchased by Healthkeeperz based in Pembroke.

CL and I didn’t even realize that our son, Kevin, could sing at all until one Sunday in December he surprised us at Church as he sang Away In A Manger. He was so little at that time (I guess around five) that year so we could only see the top of his dark curly head as he stood in front of the choir to sing. We were all so very proud of him. In fact throughout the years that followed while our boys were growing up, there were a lot of reasons for CL and me, as well as their grandparents, to be proud of them. Their accomplishments always meant a lot to us we never minded bragging about them to our friends and co-workers. As our children grew older, we really enjoyed taking them along with us so we could combine the annual Engineer’s business convention with our family vacations. Sally went with us several years to take care of them while we were attending the meetings. We enjoyed outings at Myrtle Beach, Sugar Mountain, Asheville, Boone, Nags Head and Wilmington. We especially loved going up to the Grove Park Inn in Asheville. Throughout the years of the conventions our sons developed friendships with some of the children of the Vendors and engineers throughout North Carolina. Lots of times during the day while CL was in his meetings and I was busy with the ladies activities, they were allowed to go out with some of these friends. Then they enjoyed traveling with the two of us even more. We still tried to take

an extra day or two each year to enjoy a vacation together. One year at the convention in Asheville, CL won a wonderful deep sea adventure. It was an all day trip for six out on this wonderful boat for an all-day deep fishing expedition. All of our food and drinks were provided with the win. That day the ocean was calm and the sea was crystal clear, looking a lot like a silver mirror. It was a beautiful sunny day without much wind and was a perfect day to go out for a deep sea fishing excursion. CL invited his sister, Sally, his father, a couple of friends and of course, me to go out in this boat. Granny was good enough to keep the boys for us. Chuck really wanted to go and actually, he was the only one big enough to go out on the boat, but Pa didn’t think he was quite old enough for such a trip for the first time. He said that if we were only going out for half a day that he could have gone, but he was afraid that all day long on the ocean might make him seasick. Thankfully none of us got sick that day; we had a marvelous time catching those big king mackerel fish all afternoon with those wonderful electric reels. We all had a ball. All of the men took time when we returned to the harbor to clean those fish, divide them equally and we brought them home to go in the freezer. We ate delicious meals of king mackerel steaks for the next several months.

During the days while we were at the convention, it was fun to see those friends every year so as our sons grew up they enjoyed hanging around their children as well. We became very good friends with Fay and Don Brown and their two girls, Lisa and Amanda, who were also around our sons’ age. We also enjoyed meeting Alyce and Paul Plybon. They had a son, Chip, and daughter Trisha who were both close in age to our sons. Chuck and Chip loved to hang around together along with Trisha, Chris and Kevin. There were many other families of Vendors and Engineers from all over North Carolina that we looked forward to seeing again every summer. CL served on the Engineering Board for years and I was transcriptionist secretary so even during our vacation time, we managed to keep busy. While a lot of the engineers went to the beach or played golf, CL attended each and every meeting that was offered at the convention so he could share that new knowledge with the Engineering Department back at the Hospital. He was a dedicated

worker and always said that the Hospital was paying his way and he didn’t intend to waste their money. He was always trying to pick up something interesting or helpful to take back with him to either make the hospital function better or learn something new that would actually save the hospital money in the long run. Our sons really have wonderful memories of the different things we were able to do during those days when we when we vacationed in the mountains or at the beach. There was always something exciting going on and new friends to meet, which of course enriched all of our lives…these were friends that we stayed in with year after year.

One year CL and I ed the American Legion over in Hamlet and the VFW as well. We were able to get out together each month to attend their meetings as well as the fund raising dinners throughout the year; that gave us more of an opportunity to be around my brother Lynn and his wife. We had always enjoyed getting together with them. Unfortunately things with my brother Lynn and his wife, Joy, started going down hill while they lived out at Pine Lakes in Rockingham. But some days Joy was so busy with three children of her own, her nursing job, helping out with two stepsons and trying to maintain a home while Lynn was traveling on the railroad as an engineer every day that it just became too much for her. She became very discouraged. Sometimes Lynn was gone for days on end so things between them grew increasingly difficult and they decided to seek a divorce. After they separated Mother started keeping Jerry and Chris again while Lynn was away working on the railroad but they were a lot of company for her now that Daddy was gone. Then Lynn met Rachelle McKeithen who was also from Hamlet. At the time she worked for Roses but she wanted to be a nurse so she left her job and entered nurses’ training. She was a lot of fun to be around, always laughing and enjoying life. I guess I could say that she and I became extremely good friends. She was very likable and eager to invite friends and family over for parties quite often.

We all enjoyed being with them very much; Lynn’s sons both returned home to attend school at Richmond High and live with the two of them back at Pine Lakes.

Chapter Ten

A s more years ed, we started allowing our sons to choose where they wanted to eat for their birthday. They had always loved Godfather’s pizza in Rockingham and most often chose that as their selection. They also enjoyed going to Little Bo’s Steakhouse which was out in the country on the Ledbetter Road in Richmond County. Well, one February Chris especially wanted Godfather’s pizza for his birthday, so we drove over to Rockingham to eat there that night. There was a long line of people waiting out front but the door was locked and the manager was telling everyone in line that his ovens were down but they were trying desperately to fix them. Well, you can imagine how disappointed Chris was. He had been looking forward to their pizza all week. We tried to talk him into going to another restaurant, but he said he didn’t want anything else so he asked if we could just wait in line for a little while. After a few minutes, CL walked around to the back door and spoke to the manager. He told him that he was the Engineer at the Hospital in Laurinburg, and sometimes when they had trouble with their ovens, he was able to fix them. So the manager allowed him inside to look at the double ovens. Well, CL was good with anything electrical or mechanical, and fifteen minutes later, he had those ovens running again. The manager happily opened the door and started allowing the long line of people to come inside so they could place their orders. We were all ecstatic and so were the workers at Godfather’s Pizza. Of course we didn’t have to pay for our pizza that night and for the next several weeks we were given really good deals every time we returned for pizza. Usually on Friday afternoons after school, the boys would ride with me up to Hamlet to visit with Mother. After spending time with them, I’d call over to Godfather’s Pizza and we would pick up our supper then take it back to Laurinburg to eat with CL, who was always home by that time.

When we enrolled our sons at the Presbyterian Day Care Center, they were taken care of by Eleanor McRae; I picked them back up at five o’clock every day but as Chuck and Chris grew older then started going to middle school, Granny and Pa offered to watch them for us after school until we got home from work every day. Granny carted them back and forth to the different schools as well as for their Dentist appointments and Pediatric checkups when necessary so CL or I did not have to leave work to do this. Often she had to go to school to pick Chris up if some of the Black Angus cows managed to get out and cross the highway. Chris was the only one besides Pa who could round them up without any problem and it was hard to reach Pa during the day at Morgan Mills while he was working. One afternoon Granny caught the boys up in the china-ball tree with their slingshots shooting berries at the cars driving down the road. During the warm days, a lot of the drivers had their windows down; if the boys were lucky enough to hit someone in the car, those engers would yell back at them. When Granny found out what they were doing, of course she took their sling-shots away from them then she made them come down out of the tree because she probably knew that they could still throw the berries at the cars if they were allowed to stay up in the tree. When our sons started playing baseball for the Optimist Club, our summers were so busy that the time literally flew by. CL worked in the concession stand and also umpired some games, but I was able to attend every single ballgame and cheer them on. I really gave all of the umpires (including CL) a hard time if I didn’t like the calls they were making, especially behind home plate. CL tried to be fair to both teams, even the ones that the boys were playing against, so sometimes I felt that he had called some of the close calls against our sons because he didn’t want another parent to say that he was playing favorites. The umpires at the Optimist Club kept asking CL when our boys were ever going to age out of playing baseball so they would not have to put up with me criticizing most of their calls during those years. But I was certain that sometimes they needed extra help to make sure they made the right calls. Sometimes I wondered if they might have closed their eyes before the ball ever went across home plate. With three years between them, they actually played little league Optimist ball

for nine straight years. I told the umpires that I thought sometimes they just needed my help to call some of those games we watched.

When Kevin started singing with The Gentlemen then the Scotland Singers at the high school, our lives stayed busy but we were always there to watch the concerts. Chuck even played some Babe Ruth baseball for awhile. Then Chris and Kevin both played football at the High School so we attended all the ballgames with them. We also enjoyed their Church plays and different performances throughout the years. Vacation bible school and camp every summer was a wonderful activity for all three of them. CL was often on call if something went wrong at the hospital or if snow kept the nurses from getting to work on time; the Engineering Department was always responsible for carting them to and from the hospital. Different escapades of our children as well as our jobs completely monopolized our time so I didn’t have much of an opportunity to write during those years, but I would grab an hour or two once in a while to write down ideas for a novel. I always kept a journal with ideas for a future novel and I also kept up with every book I had ever read as well as the name of the author. I never gave up on my own desire to write books even though I had not been able to finish college and obtain a degree because of Daddy’s illness. Just like a lot of the other writers, I received a lot of rejection slips. Every single one of us faces rejection in our life at one time or another; how you deal with that rejection is the true mark of success! Your own action is the most important thing!

CL had to travel away from Laurinburg on trips for the hospital, sometimes leaving me at home alone with our three sons. I was always glad to have Granny and Pa living so close to us during the days and nights he was gone. One particular time, he and six female nurses were flying to Batesville, Indiana to select hospital beds and comfortable recliners for all of the patient rooms at the new hospital which was now under construction.

These nurses teased CL a lot about being the only man flying to another state where he would actually be alone with six women; they were going to be away from home for three days and nights. They asked him if I would be jealous that he was going away with all of them. He assured them that I would not be upset, but those nurses decided to test me. They called me from the airport and two or three of them spoke to me on the phone telling me that they intended to take “very good care of CL while they were gone; in fact, they intended to take turns with him; two would be with him each night”. I assured them that I was not worried so they asked why I didn’t have to worry about CL. I told them what he told me one night. He said: “Why would I settle for hamburger somewhere else when I have steak at home?” They never asked me again if I was jealous of CL. I didn’t have to be jealous of CL Witmore. I knew where he was at all times. CL was a straight shooter; what you saw was what you got; he was the real deal! He didn’t lie about anything; he wouldn’t cheat anyone out of a dime. We had decided very early in our marriage that it was for keeps; we didn’t believe in divorce. We would always be together, and if and when problems came along, we intended to work through them together. He was the only man I wanted; he assured me that I was exactly what he wanted so there was no way either of us would ever stray. We were content and perfectly happy with our marriage; we knew that only God could separate us. We used to tease each other a lot about what would happen if one of us decided to leave the other one. We both always said that if one of us left, that person would have to take the three boys with them. Since neither one of us intended to live without our sons going with us, we just laughed about it. It was a good joke between us because we knew that we loved them and each other too much to ever try to live apart. A good marriage doesn’t just happen; it takes a lot of work. CL and I worked on our marriage constantly. We wanted to keep it fun and spontaneous. We tried to make it better through the years, always trying to have something to look forward to. Although CL and I were both born in May we were very compatible and happy. My birthday was on the second and his was the seventeenth but despite having the same birth sign, our personalities were very different. He was

very methodical, very down to earth and organized; but I am the exact opposite; I don’t mind messes, I’m very impulsive and extremely outgoing. CL always thoroughly examined every important decision in our lives while I was usually gung-ho about going ahead with that project without always thinking it through. He didn’t make up his mind about what he was going to do until he had thoroughly thought through every aspect; he wanted to make sure that it was always the right decision for us to make. Of course, sometimes we did have very spirited disagreements. He always considered me too lenient with the boys but then I always thought he was a little too strict with them. You cannot take anything for granted; not your life nor each other. A happy marriage requires dedication and hard work; both parties have to work continually to maintain a loving relationship or it will just evaporate. A good sense of humor in both a man and a woman goes a long way to make sure both parties stay focused; that way it is relatively easy to keep each other happy while maintaining a stable home front. You also have to be willing to apologize if you make a mistake then be willing to forgive and accept the apology. I firmly believe that you get out of marriage exactly what you put into it. If you put one hundred per cent into your marriage, then that’s exactly what you get back. If you only give twenty-five per cent of yourself or less, you can’t expect to get more than that back in return. I believe that same philosophy applies to parenting. You get out of your children the same percentage you give them. Unconditional love and throughout their lives will certainly render unconditional love and in return. In a good marriage both partners have to look for ways to keep their romance alive. The ancient Greeks said that love was “the madness of gods”. Others have said that true love is actually a chemical reaction. Some couples have instant chemistry from the very first encounter; others develop a loving, lasting relationship by getting to know that particular person better through the years. But CL and I were drawn to each other from the very beginning of our relationship; it was a magnetic attraction which just grew deeper through the years. After the birth of our sons our love seemed to become even more steadfast

and secure. The initial joyous surprise of first falling in love was no longer there, but our love just became deeper with each anniversary of our marriage and we strived to celebrate it happily year after year. CL and I both believed that teenagers should be kept very busy every single day; that way they would never have time or the inclination to get into trouble. CL and I were both always pleased and proud of the accomplishments of our sons. They were beautiful babies and as they grew into toddlers and then even older, they grew even better looking. Each one of them inherited CL’s height and the dark hair from both of us, although CL’s started becoming gray when he was about thirty years old and then snow white; but he still had a head full of thick, beautiful hair. His hairdresser, Toni Smith, used to say that she loved getting her hands deep in that thick head of hair when she’d cut it for him. During these formative years, CL and I took our sons on a lot of very interesting vacations. We loved going to Maggie Valley; we loved those mountains in the western part of the state. We’d always rent a room down near the creek at the base of Ghost Town. At night we could hear the running water from the spring behind the motel and it was so good to have the windows open and listen to that peaceful sound. There was a swimming pool there also but even in the middle of the summer when the temperatures were sweltering in our part of North Carolina, it was so cool up in the mountains that we could barely stand the cold water of that swimming pool. Of course our sons were a little braver than CL and me; they always jumped in and had a wonderful time, but then had to hurry inside to warm up each time they came out of that pool. We always managed to spend a whole day up at Ghost Town with the many rides for the kids to enjoy; it was a lot of fun for all of us to go into the saloons and watch the dance hall girls perform their routines; there was always a gunfight at the OK Corral; it was fun to see that the good guys always captured the bank robbers so our sons learned pretty early that crime does not pay. The officers always got their man and carted him off to jail. We made pictures of the boys getting up in the stagecoach or on the wooden horses stationed all around the Ghost Town complex. The boys loved the whole western scene and always wanted us to take them for a vacation out west, but we could never manage to get that much time off from work.

Other summers, we’d alternate and take them up to Boone and go to Tweetsie Railroad. It was a wonderful experience to get on that train and ride through those scenic mountains up there; and of course then the train would be stopped by bandits and they would try to rob everyone sitting in the seats. Once when Chuck was about five, one of the bandits grabbed me by the arm and said: “Lady, you’re coming with me!” Of course, I knew that was just part of the show, but Chuck jumped up from his seat behind me and ran toward the robber, grabbing him. He said: “You can’t take my Mommy; I won’t let you.” The man looked around in surprise and then turned around and ran from the train car. Chuck always said that he made that bandit leave his mother alone. Once or twice during the summers, we’d also take a trip up to Charlotte to spend a day at Carowinds. Oh, we had some wonderful times up there. All three of the boys would ride anything that went around fast and they especially loved the roller coasters. CL and I would ride everything right along with them except the year that Kevin was not quite tall enough for the big rides. One of us would always sit outside with him to watch while the other one would ride with Chuck and Chris. Well, Kevin decided that he would not let that happen to him again. The next year we went to Carowinds, he was going to ride everything as well. When we got ready to go, even though it was very hot and humid, Kevin wore long pants and cowboy boots with two inch heels. Sure enough, this time when he was measured, he was tall enough to ride along with everyone else. They loved that roller coaster called White Lightning. I have to it that CL and I loved it also. Now, I’m not sure I’d ride it today, but back then, I screamed and rode it around just like everyone else. Some summers we’d go to the beach. Before Sally left Leland which is right outside of Wilmington, we’d stay with her and spend the day down at Fort Fisher. The boys loved to go in the museum there seeing everything that was on display. They loved tromping through the sounds around the lighthouse and they loved going into the water. It never seemed to be too rough for them. Although CL and I were always close by, we’d never go in very far ourselves. In fact I have not swam in the ocean since I saw the first ‘JAWS’ movie!

One summer on our way to Boone, we stopped at Grandfather Mountain. We saw Mildred the Bear and her cubs; the boys were all fascinated with the swinging bridge. Heights are not my favorite thing to do so of course when they started jumping to make the bridge swing back and forth I decided it was too dangerous and I did not like it at all. They thought it was funny to scare Mommy. But I didn’t think there was anything comical about it at all. At home, they often loved to play private jokes on each other. You couldn’t allow any two of them into the bathroom at the same time. If one was standing there brushing his teeth at the sink and the other one walked in, the one at the sink would kick one of his feet back, trying to trip his brother. Another favorite pastime of theirs was to throw cold water over the curtain when one of them was taking a shower. Sometime no amount of scolding would stop their playful antics. They just seemed to really enjoy aggravating each other a little too much; they loved to pull pranks on their brothers. They were always trying to get the best of each other during those lazy summer months. One or two of them would be outside playing around; if they accidentally found a hornet’s nest, they would carefully move it over near the front door with Pa’s hoe and then they would yell for the one still in the house to come outside real quick to see what they had found. Then when the door started to open they’d throw that nest of mad flying hornets onto the front porch; if the one inside stepped out right at that time, of course he’d have to run back inside really fast; after a few antics like that the one left inside started suspecting something was going on that he wouldn’t like, so he learned not to come outside until he checked to see exactly what his brothers were up to, especially when they were in a playful mood. CL and I found out after they were almost grown that some days at the old apartment they would often get really rough inside. They loved to wrestle each other. Several times, they would get much too rowdy in their room and one of them would ultimately fall against one of the windows in their bedroom hard enough to break out the glass. They’d run next door to tell their Pa and Granny: “We broke the window. We need you to fix it.” Pa would get in his truck, drive down to Sinclair Lumber where he’d buy a piece

of glass to fix the window. Then he’d come back home and put it back in. He’d tell them that he would never fix the window for them again if they broke it, but each time, he relented and often was just replacing the ladder behind the house as CL and I drove home from work. Even though Pa always fussed that this was the last time, when they asked, he always relented and would end up fixing the window for them. So you can see that raising sons is often a barrel of mixed blessings; yes, they are a lot of fun and they can bring you a lot of pleasure most days, but then there are those few days once in a while they really just absolutely try your soul! As they grew older they wanted to hunt with CL so all three of the boys loved going with their dad and Pa up to the Uwharrie Hunting Preserve in the foothills of the mountains. My brother Jerry Lynn loved going along with them as well. Chuck and Kevin always wanted to hunt deer just like CL but Chris enjoyed just watching them play in their natural habitat. As much as we loved our sons and enjoyed being with them, it was a wonderful treat for CL and me to have some time to be by ourselves. We loved just being together. Sometimes he knew what I was going to say before I even had a chance to say it; I also knew what he was thinking most of the time and at different times we could finish a sentence for each other. We had a little saying between us…when one son was away at someone else’s house for the night, we had a holiday; when two sons were away together, it was a vacation; and the few times all three of them were away with Granny and Pa or visiting Sally, we considered it a second honeymoon. We never got tired of doing things with one another; we depended on each other; any small argument we ever had, was easily settled after talking it over together. I always considered CL to be my Prince Charming and I was always very, very proud to be with him. We stopped having to have baby sitters when Chuck was about eleven years old. Chris was almost eight and Kevin was five. At that time we considered Chuck old enough to babysit at night while CL and I went out together. We paid Chuck to babysit then paid the other two boys to be good for him. That way all three of them were able to earn some money. Besides, Granny and Pa were always close by if one of them needed anything. CL made friends as easily as I did so we always had friends who visited us, then

invited us back to their homes through the years. We made wonderful friends through our American Legion and VFW hips. Willard Page and his wife, Judy, who opened up the Seaboard Restaurant in Hamlet; Carroll and Tiz Garner, Nancy and Bill Averitte, Bill Overstreet and his wife, Betty; Both Bill Overstreet, Bill Averitte, and his wife, Nancy, worked tirelessly for the American Legion Post #49 for years. At the hospital, CL became good friends with Paul Brooks from Robeson County and so many doctors and nurses through the years that are too numerous to name here. We enjoyed playing bridge with Judy and Lauder Calhoun who lived right down the street from us. Their son, Douglas, was between Chuck and Chris in age and our sons loved going to play with him at their house or when they came to our house. We alternated these Friday excursions. One Friday night, we would have the card game at our house and then the next time we would go over to their house for our card games. We would have refreshments like nuts, mints, chips and salsa as well as a pie or some type of cake. We also served soft drinks and we really had a lot of fun.

Chapter Eleven

A s the years ed, our sons as well as all of the children of my sisters and brothers grew up, each one of them graduating from high school and most of them entering college or choosing to pursue different careers. With our children leaving their teenage years behind and growing older, all of our lives started changing once again. CL and I became more involved with working with the Church. Then CL was voted in as a deacon. The Sunday he was ordained at the Church was a very moving, emotional service for all of us. CL took his work there at the Church very seriously just like he always had at the Hospital; he was very meticulous and he wanted things to always be right. He also served for the next two years as Stewardship Committee Chairman so when they asked me to do the work of the Treasurer for the next two years, since CL had to go to all those meetings anyway, I decided to accept that position so there were always three or maybe even four visits necessary each month then a Church wide meeting on Sunday afternoon every quarter which we attended together. During the years CL served as deacon, he became very involved in the ramp building program. If any member of the Church or a family member needed a ramp built onto their home for easier access in and out, the men involved in that group were available to build the ramps; CL always enjoyed performing work things that would benefit his fellow man. CL also loved getting up early on Sunday morning once a month to meet a group of men at the Baptist Church to cook breakfast for all the men of the Church. They would have a Church-wide breakfast about twice a year; then the women could also attend. CL always took a special spatula from our house to use whenever he was cooking the bacon and everyone always loved his red-eye gravy whenever ham was served. That was another thing for CL to look forward to every month and he always enjoyed helping those men in the kitchen there and everything was always very good.

During the years my brother, Jerry Lynn, was with Rachelle they were of the American Legion. They talked us into helping them up at the racetrack in Rockingham twice a year back when the NASCAR races were held there. We all really enjoyed working in that Booth for the American Legion over at the North Carolina Motor Speedway for the twice a year races that were held there; after a couple of years, CL even started accepting the responsibility of running the stand. We worked hard during those races but we had a wonderful time and were able to make some money for the Legion. We also had a wonderful time planning a steak dinner for the workers at the Legion after the race. We were able to meet at a lot of different people during the day. Then I had the opportunity to work as hostess upstairs in the lounges for the racetrack and I really enjoyed that. Since CL had plenty of help in the Legion stand I was able to continue working in the lounges; the work wasn’t hard at all; you just had to keep food and drinks available all during the races for the people who had seats there in the lounge. My favorite lounge was the Goodrich lounge because I was able to talk to Dale Earnhardt and Richard Childress on Saturday mornings or after a race if they held an autograph session there. No matter what the weather was outside, you were in an enclosed glassed booth with a T.V. in each corner. You could see the race in front of you but whenever a wreck happened, you were then able to watch the replays on the T.V. monitors. Our sons especially loved it because I was able to obtain pit es for them so they could visit the drivers and workers down in the pits. I was also able to meet a lot of the race drivers through the years as well as the famous singers who came there to perform the National Anthem each race. Our boys loved attending those races with us and they were fortunate enough at times to meet a lot of the wonderful race drivers. After CL accepted control of one of the American Legion stands, we had to stay late cleaning up that stand then counting the money to turn into the business office along with the receipts before we could even leave the track. Our sons

usually went home early so CL and I would often drop by Rachelle and Lynn’s house so we could rest for a while before we drove back to Laurinburg; also since they lived on the #1 highway really close to the racetrack, we got away from most of the heavy race traffic that way. When my brothers and sisters’ offspring started dating, then getting married and having children of their own, our mother had another crop of beautiful Austin babies to love and spoil. She used to laugh and joke, saying that she had never seen an ugly Austin baby. Now, she was once again living alone but managed to stay very busy with her life, sewing for a dry-cleaning establishment and doing alterations for a clothing store as well as continuing to sell Avon products to supplement her income. Throughout the years as our children were growing up, CL and I were blessed with close friends constantly coming in and out of our lives. Though our work and the Baptist Church were very important phases of our lives, we enjoyed going out to eat with the boys; we even liked watching movies together at home. Visiting with our friends in each other’s homes became more of a focus than tending to our three sons who were now fast becoming adults themselves. They were growing up much sooner than we’d wanted them to, but we knew we couldn’t hold them back at all. Growing up is a natural process of life and now they were no longer dependent on their parents the way they had been when they were much younger. One year we traded our little blue Mazda station wagon for a big comfortable van with these wonderful captain chairs in the front and back seats. There was also a television set up in the back so our children enjoyed traveling much more than they had in the past. CL had talked to Harry Howell at Scotland Motors about trading but when we drove out there, his son, Lee Howell, who was working with his dad, was actually the one who sold it to us; I think it was one of the first sales he’d ever made. We were very pleased with the blue and white GM van that we purchased; of course it was more expensive at the gas pumps than the Mazda, but it was such a comfortable, exciting ride than we didn’t mind the extra costs. As I mentioned before that van contained four very big Captain’s chairs which were just like your chairs at home. The third seat was long and comfortable enough for someone to take a nap if they were really tired, but the four big chairs were just

as comfortable as a recliner in your own living room. It was also easy to drive; we were able to maneuver easily through traffic and through trial and error, even I learned how to parallel park that big van. The boys enjoyed the television up behind the back of the front seats and there was also a cooler in the very back of the van to keep our drinks cold. The van also had room for lots of luggage. We traveled to a lot of different places in that van and stayed very involved with our friends, both in Laurinburg as well as towns within an easy driving distance; we met them for dinner and at parties during different times through the years.

We really enjoyed the First Baptist Church even more when Drag Kimrey became our pastor. We also enjoyed his wife Carolyn who was very friendly and extremely creative. The arrangements of flowers and some of the decorations in the church improved a lot when Carolyn and Drag came. Drag asked CL to design and build a cross that could be used to place behind the pulpit every year for several weeks before Easter during the lent season as well as a few weeks after the holiday. He wanted to display a replica of the same type of cross that was used when Jesus was crucified. CL first drew the cross on paper, then he picked out the special lumber that he would need for the base of the cross and the wings on each side. On our side porch he cut each board then nailed them together. He spent hours sanding that cross until it was smooth as silk then when that was done he added a beautiful stain with a glossy satin finish to it. Now each year that cross is placed in the Church and there is a beautiful purple stole that is draped around the top of it. Also at Easter every year, we have a cross there made from a type of chicken wire designed in the shape of a cross. On Easter Sunday everyone brings flowers from their own gardens to put on the cross until every piece of the cross is covered by all of these wonderful gorgeous colored flowers. This one is called the Living Cross. At the end of the service CL would carry that cross outside and Bob Moore would carry the base for him. It would then be set up outside the Church for the next week so everyone could take pictures with their family

posing there next to that beautiful cross. Those fresh flowers would stay beautiful for days. CL was very proud of the work he always did for the Baptist Church. He felt honored that he was asked to carry that cross every Easter to place outside so everyone ing by had a chance to look at it. CL never bragged to anyone about what he had done but the things that he did were a marvelous tribute to the Church; I always thought that those things he did for improving the Church visibly showed the love he had in his heart for our Savior and what Jesus Himself had experienced on the cross at Calvary.

We had moved into the big house even before the master bedroom was completed. CL had told me a lot about the good ghosts who previously lived in this house. He had heard tales from his grandmother, aunts and his mother. His maternal grandfather had died in this house and it was said that he still walked around making sure that everything was always kept in proper order. Also there had been tales of doors opening and closing without anyone actually being found there in the room. One night CL found our hall door leading outside to the porch open when we both knew that we had closed and locked it before going to bed. But we never could figure out how it opened all by itself. One night when we were still sleeping in the great room, CL woke me up calling out: “Sylvia, did you see her?” I sat up and looked around and briefly I might have seen just the movement of a shadow. We had a night light plugged into the fireplace and it was easy to see then that the room was now empty except for the two of us. “No, there’s no one there. Who did you see?” He shook his head. “I know I saw a little girl standing right there in front of the fireplace. I’ve always heard about a little girl who disappeared around this house and was never found but I’m sure I saw someone standing there in a long nightgown looking at that nightlight.”

CL got up and checked to make sure that both doors on this side of the house were closed and locked and of course they were still secure. We sat there talking for the next twenty minutes but neither of us saw anything strange after that although it was a long time before we were able to go back to sleep. Sometimes I have actually heard a door open or slam shut upstairs when I knew there was no one else in the house but me. We do have some large semi-trucks barreling down the highway outside at a high speed sometimes so I feel like maybe the rumble of those trucks might cause a door left partially open to close. Anyway I can truthfully say that I’ve never been afraid to live in this house. If there is a ghost or a spirit of any kind hanging around, since there is a family connection I don’t think they are dangerous. Besides I have absolute faith in my Lord Jesus Christ and I depend on Him to keep us safe from harm if it is His will.

Through the years I loved going over to Julia Bryant’s ceramic class on Monday nights. I made a Christmas tree with a star on top and lots of tiny lights, as well as a wonderful orange pumpkin you could put a light bulb in to use as a Jack-OLantern. I enjoyed putting those items out in October and November every year. I also made Ginger Jar lamps there to use in our master bedroom. We chose white pleated shades to use on the lamps. I painted a beautiful rose on the front of each lamp and I still have those lamps in that bedroom today.

Needless to say we worked diligently on the house for the next few years. When CL finally finished the master bedroom there, we celebrated by buying a brand new antique bedroom suit with a huge wardrobe. There was also a large threemirrored chest and two smaller chests to put on each side of the bed. The big bed we had slept on out at the apartment was moved up to one of the bedrooms upstairs. We chose a high poster bed with slats going across the top for our bedroom. We could have placed draperies on those slats around the bed but CL and I decided that it would have been a bit claustrophobic to sleep underneath those confining drapes.

The bed was high. I had to use a two-step stool that came with the bedroom furniture. CL was tall enough that he’d just make a running jump from the door then would slide over to his side of the bed. Well one weekend I found a good sale at Penny’s and I purchased a set of dark silk sheets. I was so proud of those sheets but I didn’t tell CL about them. I wanted to surprise him. Well, surprise him I did! But not exactly the way I had intended. I made up the bed that day then pulled the coverlet and top sheet back down to the foot of the bed because we enjoyed sitting there for a while to watch the news on T.V. before we went to sleep. Well, I was changing channels up near the T.V. when he came out of the bathroom. He took his usual running jump and ended up sliding all the way across those silk sheets right onto the floor on the other side of the bed. There was such a surprised look on his face that when I realized he wasn’t hurt, I had to laugh. I couldn’t stop laughing at him because his expression was so funny. He was shocked to say the least, and of course, he didn’t like those silk sheets one bit so he told me in no uncertain to take those darn sheets off our bed and put the regular cotton ones back on. He did not like silky or satin sheets at all. Well I did as he wished but I confess that we had a lot of laughs about those dark green silk sheets during the next few years. Although he worked hard on remodeling the big house, CL had never attempted to build furniture of any kind, but after moving out there he decided that he was going to try his hand at building a large cabinet for the middle hall. First he drew the cabinet on paper then he built that large cabinet out of white or yellow pine. He sanded down the doors on the front as well as all of the exterior s. After that he finished it off with a beautiful glossy coat of varnish. It still shines beautiful today and sits in one of the halls upstairs. When our sons turned fifteen, all three of them found jobs and went to work. By the time they were sixteen and able to obtain their driver’s licenses, they had enough money saved to buy their own car and also pay for their own insurance, tires and gas so they could take different girls out on dates. CL and I always said that we’d them; they could live at home, we’d feed them, clothe them, help them with college expenses and furnish all their

necessities, but the cars they drove would be their own responsibility. We both firmly believed that their idle hands would breed mischief so it was better to keep teenagers always busy; that way, they might stay out of trouble. We also tried to keep them interested in continuing to attend the First Baptist Church where we were .

One Friday night CL and Kevin were driving back from Bennettsville where they had attended a car auction looking for a car to purchase for him. They stopped at Jim’s Drive-In in McColl, S.C. for supper. CL came home more excited about the food at Jim’s than he was about the car Kevin had been able to find. He said that the hamburgers and French fries there tasted just like the old-timey hamburgers he used to get at the Honeycomb Drive-In in Laurinburg. We also had been able to purchase good hamburgers through the years at the Hub Grill in Hamlet. That night he ran into so many friends from Laurinburg while he was there that he wanted to take me down there the next Friday night. Thus began a standing, regular ritual for us. We started going to Jim’s Drive-In down in McColl every Friday night. CL’s father had actually helped build it years before when it was owned by Jimmy Ann White’s father. It was called Jack Rogers back in those days and I my brothers taking me down there a time or two, then later one of my dates took me down there one night. Those nights when CL and I went down there, in addition to seeing a lot of our friends from Laurinburg, we became good friends with Jim and Jimmy Ann White. Their son, Weasel, was a marvelous bartender. He could handle crowds of just about any size. It only took once for you to come in and order something to drink then he would it from then on; he never forgot your preference. He would always have that same beverage ready for you along with a frosty mug when you walked in the next time. The food was always delicious; there was usually really great music playing on the jukebox, both country and beach tunes. It was a lot of fun to run into old friends there as well as often meeting new ones. There was a time at Jim’s where we’d arrange to meet our friend, Amy Stewart, and her father, Boogie Benny, down at Jim’s. Amy would bring her baby, Corey,

then if she and her daddy wanted to leave Jim’s to go to Southern Pines to one of the clubs and dance, she’d leave Corey with CL and me. Corey was an adorable baby and since I didn’t have any grandchildren of my own at that time, I showered that sweet little boy with lots of love. My sons were just about grown and much too big to rock, but I would take Corey home with us then I’d rock him to sleep. Amy and Benny would come by after midnight to pick him up and take him home. As he grew a little older and was able to sit up on his own, sometimes he’d take his pacifier and drop it into a glass of beer if one happened to be sitting anywhere within his reach. I’d try to wipe it clean but sometimes I’m afraid there was still that tangy taste clinging to it, and he seemed to love it. I learned really early to keep that flying object in my hand whenever he took it out of his mouth. At Jim’s CL and I began a wonderful lasting friendship with Ann and Steve O’Neal. He was a planter from Blenheim and worked with his father and brothers on their huge farm in South Carolina. We also met Teresa and Rob Wise who lived over in Random Woods in Laurinburg. Teresa was a nurse at the Hospital while Rob ran a General Store in East Laurinburg. The six of us traveled often at different times. We traveled down to Savannah and Charleston for weekend trips through the next few years. We always enjoyed meeting at Jim’s to eat together there as well as getting together off and on at each other’s homes during the year. Lots of times through the years as we drove through Clio going to see Steve and Ann in Blenheim (or Brownsville) as some call it, CL would laugh and say we were traveling through CL ten. We always had a good time with them. There were several Friday nights during the summer when we arrived at Jim’s to eat, and Weasel would hand CL a bill. Chris had been down there on Wednesday night with a group of students from Saint Andrews College and had left his tab for CL to pay. Weasel would laugh when CL complained but he knew that he would always take care of that bill for Chris. CL and I still loved to go out together to the Shag Club in Rockingham where we’d dance to a DJ. One of our very favorite songs of all time was Save The Last Dance For Me. CL was never the jealous type. He didn’t care who I danced

with at the parties and dances we attended but he always wanted me to save the last dance for him. Whenever another man asked his permission to dance with me, he’d always say: “Okay, but she’s going home with me!” I didn’t mind when CL would dance with someone else either; I knew he’d always come back to sit at the table with me. Art and Doris Deffenbaugh both became very good friends through the years with the two of us. Art worked in engineering at Abbott Labs so he and CL had a lot in common and could talk shop with each other as long as they wanted. Since Doris and I worked together in Home Health we also got along famously. Sometimes around 1995 Jim’s Drive In burned down. We talked on the phone with our friends trying to decide where we could meet the next Friday night. But before we could make plans, Jim also called us on the phone. He was going to open up a larger restaurant in his building just across the street. The food was the same so we continued going down there every Friday night for the next several years. One summer Doris was having an extremely hard time at work so we would try to get together every afternoon after five. We would sit out there at the college in that big van watching other people walk the track while the boys were practicing baseball; Doris and I would sit together in that van, reminiscing about better times while we laughed and talked together. We were able to enjoy some good old fashioned down time during those springtime months. We could forget the hectic schedules of working eight to five; we’d enjoy a cold drink (sometimes we even had a glass of Cold Duck) and a bag of chips together while the boys practiced baseball. That way the next day we’d be able to go to work with a good frame of mind regardless of how hard the work might turn out to be. We called these afternoons our ‘attitude adjustment time’. But then on Friday nights we would arrange to meet them down at Jim’s for drinks and hamburgers as well as meeting other friends there. Doris especially enjoyed Jim’s prime rib dinner whenever he added it to the menu. A year or two after that Jim decided to sell the restaurant. It was called Bullard’s then but still a lot of people from Laurinburg just continued to drive down there for the delicious food and the cozy atmosphere. The new place was always nice, but it did not have the same atmosphere as that little building with the roof top

dance floor across the street which so many people had enjoyed through the years. The food remained the same but the ambiance seemed to get lost in the larger rooms, even though the bar had plenty of memories of sports and NASCAR memorabilia on the walls everywhere.

Chapter Twelve

C huck graduated from Scotland High School in 1988 and started attending Pembroke State. Even then I began to fret about our sons leaving home. I had never looked forward to an empty nest. CL and I both loved having our sons around and all of their friends felt free to visit anytime. Chris played football his last year in high school and after graduation in 1992 he also attended Pembroke driving back and forth every day. During the next two years while Chris and Chuck were going to Pembroke, I was certainly glad to still have them close still living here at home. At first Chris wanted to be an international lawyer but during those two years at Pembroke he changed his mind. He decided that he was going to transfer to another school then major in archaeology instead. The year before Chris transferred to UNC Greensboro, he went to Paris with a couple of other students and two of his professors representing their French class. They visited a site outside of Paris which he said was fascinating. When Chris returned home he told us his new plans. I realized then that if he went somewhere else to study archeology he would be doing a lot of traveling to foreign countries during some of the years to come. CL and I knew that Chris loved his home and the farmland around here but he wanted to work with artifacts and study other cultures so I knew that his visits home might start being few and far in between, so of course, that worried both of us.

Sally was teaching school at Leland in Brunswick County near Wilmington. In 1993 on a very hot day in July, she married David Gardner in front of their house there. Kevin sang The Lord’s Prayer and CL and I were both so very proud of him. God had given him a beautiful voice and he’d spent years singing in choirs and talented groups at the high school.

David was also from Laurinburg. He was working for Systel Systems in Wilmington then later on he was transferred to the office in Fayetteville. Kevin started playing football when he was in the 8th grade at Carver Middle School then played Junior Varsity in the 9th and 10th grades. Then during the last two years of high school, he played for the varsity team. For years, Scotland High and Richmond Senior High School had been fierce competitors; they were extremely fierce rivals so the stands were always filled with fans from both schools. Scotland could have a good team all year, but when it came to playing against Richmond, they always seemed to lose. Well the years Kevin was playing football that outcome changed. Most of the guys on Kevin’s team had played together since they had attended eighth grade. The team turned out to be very good during those years. Kevin and his team beat Richmond the second year he was on Junior Varsity team and then they won the district championship that year. Then they beat Richmond twice the year they were in the eleventh grade and twice the next year. Kevin and some of his friends can actually boast that they were one of the few Scotland High teams that had never lost to Richmond Senior High. CL and I both loved going to all those football games. We really had a good time during that time. CL had a movie camera and he made videos of every game the last two years Kevin played football and I still have those eight track tapes. The fall when Kevin was a senior after football practice on Thursday afternoon, CL would meet Kevin after school and they would go deer hunting together. Kevin and Chuck always loved to deer hunt with CL and they kept up with the number of deer each one of them ever killed.

Chris easily transferred from Pembroke to UNC Greensboro in September of 1994. He was the first one of our sons to actually leave home but he was still able to visit during the summer and holidays. The first year he lived in the dorms and then when his friends graduated from Scotland High School they ed him at UNC Greensboro. The first year they lived in the dorm but after that Chris moved into a house with them.

In October of 1994, CL’s sister, Sally, and her husband David Gardner welcomed a son, Devin Tate on the twenty-eighth. Sadly, before he was even able to visit his new grandson, we lost CL’s dad two days later. He died at Scotland Memorial Hospital and once again we found ourselves mourning the loss of a very special loved one. Granny was now a widow just like my mother and her life also changed drastically. She depended on Sally, David and CL much more for comfort, care and consolation but it was really hard on Sally, David and the baby to drive back and forth to Laurinburg every weekend. We were still meeting our friends at Jim’s as well as Doris and Art. But, I guess all good things have to come to an end. Doris was diagnosed with melanoma; after a long, painful fight, she lost her life the same time Princess Diana from England was killed in that car wreck in Paris. I lost a very good friend and I really missed hanging out with her. But my good friend, Jane Schroeder, came down from Marion to be with me for a day or so during that awful experience of losing a very special friend.

A few years later, Sally and David decided to renovate the apartment we used to live in right behind Granny’s house. Then they, along with young Devin, moved from Leland, N.C. back to Laurinburg so they could be close to Granny now that she was alone. After a lot of work, that apartment became a much bigger house with a wrap around porch on the front and a screened-in porch on the back. All three of our sons were lucky enough to be able to work with the actual construction.

Chuck and Kevin were able to use the carpentry skills they’d inherited from their grandfather, Charles, as well as from CL (because he was always able to make anything just like his dad before him); they really enjoyed helping each other work on that house. Chris did all the stonework for the fireplace, the chimneys and the underpinning beneath the house. Granny was very happy to have her only daughter and another grandson back to live so close to her.

We actually have pictures of Chris’s dog, Apollo, climbing up the ladder to get up on top of that house to be near Chris when he was working on the chimney. Of course, when it came time to come down the ladder, it was a different story! Chris had to come down first so he could guide Apollo down each step along the way. It wasn’t as easy for him to come down the ladder as it was when he scampered up there! Now David’s drive to work was much easier. He still worked in Fayetteville but at least it wasn’t as long a drive from Laurinburg as he’d made from Leland. His parents Cub and Kathleen Gardner lived here also so they were content to have their son back home in Scotland County. Early one morning I was in a hurry to get to work by eight o’clock. There was a bus stopped on the bridge just up the highway from our house. The sun was really bright that morning shining directly into my eyes even though I was wearing sunshades. I could see the bus ahead of me, but I did not see that there were two small cars between me and that bus. Unfortunately, I rammed right into one of those cars, knocking it up into the second car. Luckily that second car did not hit the school bus so it was able to travel on to the High School without incident. The air bag came out of our car’s steering column and slammed hard into my chest. I saw stars instantly. That bag knocked the breath right out of me; I it that for the next few minutes, I was unable to move. Barbara and Al Lane witnessed the wreck from their house then immediately called Sally. She called CL so they both drove up to the wreck site to check on me. By then the police had arrived and were talking to some of the others who were standing outside their car. CL and Sally ran up to the car where I was sitting. CL leaned in to ask me first if I was all right. I nodded as I assured him that I was unhurt just scared but I couldn’t keep the tears out of my eyes. I had enough good sense to ask Sally to call Home Health for me to tell them why I was going to be late. While she did that, CL leaned in close to hug me tight. He said: “I know we planned to trade cars soon; but, honey, I did want to have something to use as a trade in!”

In times of distress and trouble, hysterics sometimes settle in; that’s exactly what happened then. I looked up into his concerned brown eyes then we both had to laugh. Yes, I’d had a wreck with the car…there were two other cars involved, but the beauty of that accident was that no one was severely injured. We were all fine! Yes, it was my fault and I received a citation for unsafe movement because of the bright sun at that time of the morning, and except for severe soreness where the air bag had indented my name badge into my chest I was fine. When the ambulance came they checked me over but when I assured them that I was okay, just a bit winded, they left me alone while they examined everyone else and thankfully, they were also pronounced a-okay. The insurance company came through with the money for what the car was now worth and CL bought us another car in a week or so. He always drove a truck to work so that new car was for my use and our trips as a family…just another reason to love my husband even more. The summer of 1995 after Kevin graduated from High School, the beautiful girl he had been dating for the last two years broke up with him. She had been a regular visitor to our house for years so everyone was very upset at the time. Kevin took off a few weeks from work at Ned’s to go with Chris to Greece. Chris and Kevin drove up to New York where they left Kevin’s car with a good friend who lived there then they flew over to Athens, Greece. Kevin loved those weeks he spent with Chris working at his dig site then touring some of those beautiful places in Greece that Chris was already familiar with. He was actually able to visit the dig site on the Isle of Crete where Chris was working. Kevin really had a good time over there. He fell in love with the spicy Greek food there as well as those beautiful islands around Greece. When he started to come back home he had to fly back to New York alone to pick up his car from their friend. I was very apprehensive about Kevin driving alone all the way back down to North Carolina from New York after flying home without Chris, but of course everything turned out all right in spite of a mother’s anxious misgivings. Kevin planned to go to Pembroke in the fall on a music scholarship although he still worked at Ned’s Pawn Shop here in Laurinburg when he was not in school.

Don Barringer had always been good to Chris and Kevin during the years they worked for him at the Pawn Shop. He said they were both very good salesmen but that Chris could sell ice to Eskimos. I had to laugh at his description. As a teenager Chris was outside on the grounds around the farm here more than he was inside the house. Early on we’d discovered that he was a good salesman and had an eye on the future. Several summers even before he had his driver’s license he had talked Pa into driving him over to a watermelon field where he purchased a truck load of watermelons. Pa parked that loaded truck out at the edge of the road and Chris sat on the back until he sold every one of those watermelons. Then he took some of the money he earned and had Pa purchase another truckload of melons which he also sold. Of course after Chris moved to Greensboro, CL and I were grateful that Kevin and Chuck were still living at home with us at that time. Chuck worked part-time as a waiter/bartender to pay for his college expenses while he attended classes during the day at Pembroke. Chris came home some weekends from Greensboro, and he was always able to visit us some during the summers. He also still worked at Ned’s whenever he could arrange it. During those years while I worked at Home Health, I continued to write my books at night on an IBM Selectric typewriter sitting in the kitchen while the boys were asleep in their rooms or out at night. CL was always close by watching television. Of course through the years, I certainly received a lot of rejection slips. I read them with a sinking heart, but I was bound and determined not to give up on my desire to write murder mystery novels. I enjoyed the process of writing too much to give up on it. I am not a quitter; I am a survivor so even during those years of receiving all the “I’m sorry, but your manuscript does not meet our needs at this time. Blah, blah, blah!” Their statement: “We hope you will try again,” didn’t make me feel a bit better. Sometimes I’d imagine that those editors who read over my book then rejected them so callously were all men; then I would go back to one of my novels, pick out an appropriate spot then just kill off another man in another one of my books! That really seemed to improve my disposition at the time.

Refusing to give up was something Mother drilled in our heads while we were growing up in Hamlet. She said that we could achieve anything we ever wanted to achieve if we just wanted it bad enough; I always wanted to be a writer in the worst way. I was already a successful istrative assistant, I was a very happy wife and a devoted mother, but I still wanted to write books; so I kept trying through all those years to get my work published. Just before Chris graduated from UNC Greensboro, he called to invite CL and me to a special ceremony at the college. He told CL that it was like a black-tie event and he should wear a dark suit. Well, CL has a very unique sense of humor. He packed his dark suit and accessories in a carry all bag and dressed in an old pair of overalls. He didn’t put a shirt on underneath; instead he had one strap falling down off his bare shoulder and an old pair of tennis shoes on his feet when we got out of the car at Chris’s house. Chris was sitting on the porch and he stood up with the strangest expression on his face. He said: “Daddy, I told you to dress up!” CL asked: “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” I climbed out of the car and couldn’t stop laughing. Then CL got tickled also then reached behind me to pull his bagged suit off the back seat. Still laughing we walked up the steps to hug Chris. By then he was laughing also. CL changed clothes and we enjoyed a night with Chris’s professors and other friends and he was given a special award so we were both really glad that we had been able to attend this function with him. Chuck graduated from Pembroke on the same weekend that Chris graduated from UNC Greensboro. We were lucky enough that Pembroke’s graduation day was on Saturday so we were all able to attend Chris’s the next day on Sunday. We were very proud of the degrees both our sons had earned. Chris had a double major and graduated suma cum laud. Chuck had earned a business degree and had accepted a job with a hospital in Smithfield, N.C.

Chris didn’t come back home with us after graduation; instead he decided to stay in Greensboro for a year and work there. He was still living in a house with several of his close friends from high school who were still attending college,

Keeley Dunn and Bret Cranston. Chris worked that year while he decided where he wanted to go to obtain his Master’s degree. A week or so after Chuck’s graduation from Pembroke, he moved into his own apartment and started work for Armart, which was a food company catering in hospitals. Kevin also attended Pembroke. He majored in music the first two years and really enjoyed it.

On October 7, 1996, Dianne and Sam’s daughter Lane, had a baby girl they named Katelin. Mother was tickled to death to have the first great-granddaughter and she was born on Mother’s birthday. She was adorable and Dianne and Sam were elated to be grandparents.

After his second year at Pembroke, Kevin moved into a home with a friend in Robeson County. The next year he changed his major to business while he continued with music as his minor; he didn’t enjoy the business courses or the music therapy classes he was taking so he decided to drop out of college later and go to work there in Pembroke. Now CL and I really had an empty nest here at home and neither one of us liked it one bit. We both had always loved having our sons nearby; we enjoyed having their friends come in and out of our house all the time. I missed seeing the boys and their friends very much at first so I had a really hard time adjusting to just the two of us. But both of us realized with a sinking heart that we couldn’t keep our sons here in our home forever. So as hard as it was to adjust to an empty house, CL and I continued to try to function with a positive attitude. You raise your sons to be independent but it is with a lot of mixed blessings and misgivings when you have to tell them goodbye and watch them drive off to set up housekeeping away from the home you have made for them.

In 1997, I had my first novel Just Before Dawn published by a publishing

company, Commonwealth Publications in Edmonton, Canada. They sent us a carton of fifty books just before Christmas that year. CL and I were both on cloud nine. He was very proud of my writing accomplishments although he would not read any of my novels; he said he was afraid if he didn’t like them that I would be angry with him. But, at that time we just knew that finally breaking into the publishing field would help open doors for us; we would be able to do a lot of traveling for book gs and see the far-away places we’d always wanted to visit together. Unfortunately, before the book could be distributed into the various book stores, the Canadian company declared bankruptcy. It was a financial disaster for us as well; CL and I had to hire a Canadian lawyer to obtain my rights to the book back. In addition to that, I had to sign a waiver that I would not try to get that book published by any other publishing company for at least five to ten years. Of course I was disappointed but I was not about to give up on my dream. I worked on other books then started sending them out to different publishing companies. Sending your books to publishing companies was a very involved process during the late 1990’s. I had to research the companies listed in the Writers Market or the Writer’s Digest, searching for the ones who reviewed new material and also those handling mysteries and/or romantic intrigue, which is what I was writing. Then you had to write a bio and send a covering letter describing the book. You had to send that along with three sample chapters for review. After that you’d sit back and wait to see if they were interested in reading the rest of the novel. When they did ask for the rest of the manuscript, you waited with baited breath for a happy reply. What a terrible letdown it was when I came in from work late in the afternoon to find the package with the manuscript thrown on my porch, having been returned through the mail. Since the package was too big for our mailbox, the mail carrier would leave it there on the porch at the door. I was so disappointed! As soon as I saw it lying there, I knew that it had been rejected again so I’d have to try once more with another publishing company.

When Chris was accepted into the Master’s program at Sheffield in Manchester, England, we were lucky enough not to have an empty nest anymore. We had Apollo back home with us. Chris had never told Apollo that he was a dog so he

thought he was our fourth son and CL enjoyed the company of that dog immensely. Apollo was very smart and CL spoiled him rotten. One of my favorite memories is CL sitting on our couch watching T.V. while he was eating those Cheez-It crackers. Apollo would sit down right in front on him waiting for CL to flip one of those small square crackers to him and that dog was able to catch it in his mouth every time.

Chapter Thirteen

I n May of 1998 Chris received his Master’s degree from Sheffield University. Then he traveled from London to Athens to work on the dig site along with a couple of his friends from Laurinburg. That weekend CL and I attended a wedding in Concord. Don and Fay Brown’s daughter, Lisa, was getting married that weekend and Kevin had been asked to sing several songs during the ceremony. We certainly enjoyed his singing, the wedding and then there was a nice reception at the country club afterward. Granny and Kevin had gone up to Concord on Friday afternoon so he could attend the Rehearsal at the Church and the dinner afterward while Granny stayed with her sister-in-law, Virginia, and her husband, B.W. Kevin and Granny drove back to Laurinburg after the wedding before CL and I left the reception. But while CL and I were driving home that night, he started feeling so bad that I offered to drive the rest of the way home so he could rest. He was complaining of a terrible indigestion. But he said that he was pretty sure he would be all right and could finish the drive home himself. I gave him several Tums which I had in my purse and he said it eased off somewhat. The next day was Sunday and CL was still experiencing severe pain into the afternoon but now he said it had grown much worse, becoming almost unbearable. I called his mother; together we decided that we had to take him to the hospital right away. In the emergency room he was immediately diagnosed with a heart attack and plans were made to transfer him to Duke Hospital in Durham. I have never been so scared! When I saw them load CL into the back of that ambulance I thought he looked so pale. We held on to him and told him how much we loved him but I don’t know how much of that he even understood.

Kevin came into the hospital emergency room just before we left so he was able to hug his dad also. Chuck was still in Smithfield but when we reached him on the phone, he said that he would get off work to meet us at Duke the next morning. Granny and I followed the ambulance all the way to Durham with our hearts in our throats. She didn’t even fuss about my fast driving. CL was itted right away and surgery was planned for early the next morning. Chuck, Kevin and of course, Sally, were all able to get there around lunchtime just as CL was moved from recovery up to the ICU unit. The next few days were very hard for all of us to get through. Early Monday morning he had quadruple by surgery and had to stay in ICU two days before he was moved into his own room. Sally stayed at the hospital with us all week so she and Granny and I all camped out in Duke’s waiting rooms the entire time CL was a patient there. Of course we had visits from Chuck and Kevin, but we had been unable to reach Chris over in Europe. Finally that horrible week was over; since he was so much better, CL was released from the hospital on Friday morning so we drove back home to Laurinburg. CL was uncomfortable riding in that back seat of our Buick all the way home. He announced that he would never buy another car until he had ridden in the back seat to check out the comfort back there. On Saturday morning when Chris reached Athens he called us at home. Chuck answered the phone. When Chris asked him how everyone was doing, he told him that he needed him to sit down because he had some good news and bad news to tell him. Chris wanted to know the good news first so Chuck told him that CL had stopped smoking the first day of May, but the bad news was that he had experienced a heart attack which was followed by open heart by- surgery the previous Monday.

Of course Chris was concerned when we talked to him and wanted to know if he needed to fly home right away but CL talked to him, assuring him that the crisis was over right then. He needed to finish his work over there and we’d see him when he returned to the states at the end of the summer. Since I was still working full time, CL moved in with Granny during the day coming home only at night after I came home from work. Granny cooked his meals and was able to be with him during the difficult days as he tried to get his strength back after suffering a full-blown heart attack then the subsequent surgery. CL was always able to joke about it…he said that he quit smoking the first of May, turned fifty-five on the seventeenth and then blew up on the thirty-first. Thankfully, he did recover and gradually returned to work at the hospital where they were deeply involved with getting the institution ready for an inspection from the t Commission Healthcare group.

CL loved to fish and hunt. If the deer he and the boys killed had an impressive set of antlers, they took them to a taxidermist to be mounted on plaques then hung them up in two rooms in our house. He could still fish with no problem after surgery, but he had a problem using his big bow to hunt deer after that. Pulling back on the tight strings caused too much pain in his chest; so for the next several years, he only hunted with his black powder gun or his shot gun. During those next few years, CL and I still worked hard at our jobs but since the boys were all living elsewhere now, I began to have more time to focus on writing my books once again, continuing to try to get them published. It was very heartbreaking to face rejection each and every time I sent a book off to another publishing company. But I made up my mind to get through the difficult days with determination and I continued to try to find someone who would be interested in accepting me as a writer. I stayed busy working in Home Health during the days then I’d write my books every night and I continued sending them off to different publishing companies. CL and I started going out more at night; we really enjoyed going to the different

restaurants here in Laurinburg and nearby towns instead of eating all alone in our house; it didn’t really pay us to buy a lot of groceries and turn the oven on for just the two of us. We were able to spend a lot of that free time together. The more time we spent together the more fun we had. We just grew much closer as a couple, more in love than ever. People laughed and joked with us, saying that unless we were at work, where you saw one, you always saw the other. He was my soul mate, my best friend and I really depended on him for everything. CL loved to collect all types of old, rare coins. I used to tease him about being a numismatist and he didn’t mind my teasing one bit. Everywhere we went, he’d look for unusual coins anytime he had the opportunity to look into a cash somewhere or someone’s tip jar. At the bank when he cashed his pay checks, he’d get change a lot of the times so when he’d come home, he’d take the time to go through all those coins, searching for the state quarters he didn’t have. One Christmas I gave CL a big book containing the map of the entire United States with slots cut into each state where he could keep all the centennial quarters he collected each month. Every month he received a new addition for his book. Each addition always had several quarters included from the different states as well as the dates and the exact government bureau where that particular coin was minted. In addition to the coins, there was a complete description of that state, its history and when it had actually been established; CL certainly looked forward to opening the packages each month so see which state it contained.

One year over at the dig site near Greece Chris actually found an unusual vessel called a kylix which is a lavishly decorated, ancient Greek two-handled wine cup with a stem and a wide, shallow, curved bowl. Chris said that in the past, there was a Greek tradition where the bride and groom would drink from this cup then toast each other during their wedding ceremony; she would take a sip from one side and the groom would sip from the other. Of course he had to leave it there for the museum to keep on display, but Chris had an artisan in Greece make an identical copy of this kylix which they believed dated back to the classical period between 450 or 400 years before Christ.

Chris brought this handmade copy back for CL and me to keep; we were very proud of him and so happy to have a replica of an artifact like this which he had found in his dig site.

My writing focus soon began to change during this time. My romantic intrigue stories took a back seat while I actually focused on writing murder mysteries with heroes, criminals and a female love interest somewhere in the mix. I enjoyed the actual writing much more now because CL had bought us a computer; now I was able to store several novels in the computer at the same time so I didn’t have to depend on my IBM typewriter to type them on anymore. After his summer in Greece, Chris returned home for a few days. He decided he wanted to pursue his PHD courses at Stanford in California so he moved all the way across the country to San Francisco where he went to work at a pizza parlor there while he checked on the scholarships that were available. We were very happy when Chris was accepted into a six year program at Stanford for his PHD. We were all so very proud of him. The summer after Chris was accepted at Stanford in California, Chris came home for a visit. Then Kevin rode back across the country with him to visit San Francisco for the first time. They stopped off in Chicago to visit with the mother of Chris’s close friend, Brett. They stayed with her overnight so Chris would be able to visit the Chicago Museum the next day where some of Chris’s archaeology papers were on display there. After touring that museum they headed out to California. They said they had a wonderful trip driving that jeep across the country. This time Chris took Apollo back with him. Apollo is the beautiful golden retriever Chris left with CL and me while he was in school in England. They were able to go through Las Vegas and told us about all those hotels, casinos and resorts they saw there. Kevin flew back from California to Charlotte alone. CL was unable to drive with me to the airport because of a meeting at the hospital he had to attend so my friend, Amy Stewart, rode with me up there to pick up Kevin.

We stopped in Rockingham to have supper at Hudson Brothers before driving on up to Charlotte; both of us enjoyed visiting together again and I ran into a lot of friends I knew from Richmond County.

That summer Chris came home he brought Apollo back with him. CL had really missed that dog so he begged Chris to leave him with us again. Chris agreed to let us continue keeping him. That wonderful golden retriever was a lot of joy for CL now that all of our sons were living away from home. Apollo followed CL every time he was outside working on the lawns or walking up in the fields; he always stayed right by his side. We considered ourselves lucky that Chris was always able to fly home at Christmas and to come back home sometimes for a week or so during the summer months before he went back overseas to those dig sites. Apollo usually rode in the car with us to go to the airport to pick up Chris. Apollo didn’t belong to CL or me anymore whenever Chris was around. He knew that he was really Chris’s dog and that’s who he followed around all the time, staying close to him with every step he took… and as I said Apollo never knew he was a dog. He thought he was as human as the rest of us and he was smart as a whip. I was the one who always fed Apollo all the time but when I went into Chris’s room to wake him up in the mornings, Apollo would lift his head and growl at me. He didn’t want me bothering his master at all….and that dog could leap from the floor to the top bunk where Chris slept. Apollo did not like disagreements of any description. If the boys were cutting up with each other, just wrestling around for fun, Apollo would growl and try to bite the person who threw the first playful punch. They learned really fast not to act like they were fighting whenever Apollo was around.

After Chris started attending classes at Stanford, CL and I took our first trip out to San Francisco to visit him as soon as we were able to arrange our flights. We had to change planes in Chicago but we were very excited about visiting San Francisco for the first time together.

The Stanford campus is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. The grounds, the stately palm trees and those wonderful stone buildings were magnificent and seemed to gleam a beautiful rust color rising above the green manicured lawns. Chris was proud of the California coast and he took CL and me around showing us some of those gorgeous sites he loved. We went down Highway One across the Bixby Bridge. He drove us along the Big Sur Coast and out to the Point Sur Lighthouse. We saw the most beautiful sunsets where the entire sky turned orange and yellow before seeming to disappear down into the Pacific Ocean’s waves. CL and I even rode the cable cars that traveled down through the city out to the Fisherman’s Wharf. We loved everything we saw while we were out there and planned to return again as soon as we could arrange it.

Chuck worked in Smithfield for over a year then thankfully he moved back home to stay with CL, Apollo and me. We were very glad to have him back home. Then he started working during the day at a gravel company in Pine Bluff but in his spare time I was delighted that he had decided to finish the hall and the two bedrooms upstairs that CL had been too busy to finish on his own. They looked great. It was very moving to discover that Chuck had also inherited his father and grandfather’s carpentry skills and was able to finish the rooms so beautifully. Also, he had his privacy with his own rooms upstairs although he continued to eat his meals downstairs with us whenever he was home.

Chapter Fourteen

C huck was the first one of our sons to become engaged. While he was working at one of the restaurants in Southern Pines, he met a wonderful, gorgeous blond from Clio, S.C. named Sirena Lee Horne. She ed Chuck because during his high school days, he had dated her older sister, Samantha. They talked that night a long time. Samantha had moved away from Laurinburg by then and was now married to Billy Parker from Laurel Hill. Chuck brought Sirena home to meet us and CL and I loved her from the start. We were delighted that they had started dating. She was staying with her grandparents in Clio at that time and helping her grandfather on his farm. We did not realize that things were becoming serious between them until one Friday night the two of them met us down at Jim’s in McColl where she proudly showed off her diamond then they announced that they were planning a wedding in March. CL and I were so very pleased with Chuck’s choice and their plans.

Our family was certainly devastated in February of 2001 when Dale Earnhardt was killed down at the Florida racetrack. We had pulled for the #3 black Chevrolet for years. I had really enjoyed all the times when I had talked with him during the years I worked at the racetrack and he was one of he nicest drivers I’d ever met. In fact he was the one who told me that basing one of my novels on NASCAR racing would be a good idea. He said that I could use anything I heard a driver say, saw on television or read in a newspaper or magazine and I would not get in trouble for plagiarism. We were all so sad that he would no longer be around for us to watch whenever NASCAR had their car races. Soon rumors began to fly about different, nearby racetracks being closed because of poor participation. Then the Rock was the first racetrack to lose one

of their races and during that particular race, attendance dropped off so much, that the track was eventually sold and there were no more NASCAR races at the North Carolina Speedway. After that we began to make arrangements to attend the races held down in Darlington each year but now there was no #3 black race car to cheer for, it just wasn’t the same thrill for CL or me. In February, Sally gave Sirena a bridal shower at her house and we were able to meet a lot of her family there. CL and I hosted a rehearsal dinner at the Lob Steer Restaurant in Southern Pines the night before the wedding. The food was delicious and they had printed up beautiful menus congratulating Chuck and Sirena on their marriage. That night CL and I were introduced to a lot of Sirena’s friends and the other of the family that we had not met yet. Unfortunately, Sirena’s mother, Sherry Lee Vigh, had died of breast cancer the year before but her mother had been able to go with Sirena to select her wedding dress, so it was very special for Sirena to be able to wear the dress her mother purchased for her wedding day. They were married on March tenth, 2001 at the First Baptist Church here in Laurinburg. Both Kevin and Chris were groomsmen at their wedding; of course, CL was his best man. Kevin and Toni Smith sang during the ceremony. They had a wonderful wedding reception out at the Scotch Meadows Country Club here in Laurinburg. There was a great D.J. and everyone enjoyed the dancing and the fun afterward. The two of them moved in with us for a few months after they returned from their honeymoon; they stayed upstairs in those rooms Chuck had finished earlier. Then several months later, they managed to move into a small motor home next door to us. It was great to have one of our sons that close to us again. Chuck built them a beautiful deck on the back of that trailer and when CL and I saw it for the first time we were so proud of it that we told Chuck we wanted him to build us one just like it on our house. Later Chuck and CL began plans to build one ading our side porch.

Thankfully Chuck and his daddy were able to build us a beautiful deck also so we purchased deck furniture and a new grill to put out there. CL and I still went out to eat down in McColl on Friday nights; we still enjoyed being with our friends and trying different foods on the menu. Everything was always very good. Kevin had started attended Church in Pembroke with friends he had met while he was in college and sang with Youth Choir there. He made plans to visit Africa on a Christian mission and he was really looking forward to that excursion.

When 9/11 happened in September of 2001, the whole United States mourned. Of course, our entire family was no exception; we were all devastated but it affected us so much because Chris often flew across the USA and overseas on his different archaeology missions. Of course I worried about him during his trips and now I had to worry about Kevin and his planned trip over to Africa. Kevin had met his wonderful, beautiful Marie-Louise Locklear from Pembroke during his college days. She was one of three sisters who were all involved in music; in fact they were a singing trio, The Chord of Three. When he asked Marie to marry him, she accepted so he gave her a very pretty diamond engagement ring. He was extremely brave the day he gave her that ring. He drove out to Flora McDonald College then hid the ring up in the rafters of the gazebo there; he also hid a bottle of champagne and two glasses out in the bushes. He called me on his way back to Pembroke to pick up Marie. He told me where he had hidden the ring so, of course, I worried all that afternoon that something would happen to spoil his surprise, but thankfully everything turned out fine. When he picked up Marie that afternoon he told her that he had something he wanted to show her out at the college. Everything went just as he planned; all was still there when he returned and she was delighted to accept his ring. He asked CL and me if he could borrow our car that night to take her out to dinner at Little Bo’s in Rockingham. We agreed to loan him the car. Then they delighted my mother when he stopped off in Hamlet

to surprise her with an introduction to his new fiancée before they went out to eat. In spite of their engagement and all of us voicing our fears about the danger of traveling to another country, Kevin still planned to fly across the country later that same September; he was bound and determined to travel all the way to Africa for that mission trip with his Church and he was confident that he would return without incident. He also planned to visit the exact spot where Marie had been born and where her family had lived for a while. In fact her two sisters and her brother were also born there in Africa. CL, Marie and I drove him to Raleigh to board the airplane. Everyone prayed desperately for his survival the whole time he was gone. Of course, we wanted him to return safely to us very soon. I was on pins and needles during those weeks he was away; I was so afraid that other terrorists had plans to crash other planes later on like the ones that crashed in New York, Pennsylvania and the Pentagon. CL and I certainly didn’t want one of our sons on one of those airplanes and our hearts went out to all of the family who had lost loved ones during those airplane disasters. But, God was with Kevin and brought him safely back home; he was so excited. He had really enjoyed his stay in Africa. He felt that he had been blessed by the mission trip and the job he had been able to perform over there. He talked about the people he had been able to talk to; he witnessed to many Africans spiritually while he was there as well as actually being able to visit the same neighborhood where his fiancée used to live while her parents were missionaries in South Africa. He didn’t let any of us know that he was returning home earlier than his scheduled arrival, but he returned on November fifth, which was actually Marie’s birthday. She came home from work and found a big box with her name on it sitting in the middle of her parents’ living room floor. She just knew that her dad and mom had bought her a new engine for her jeep and she tackled the box with a lot of happy energy. Imagine her surprise when Kevin came jumping out of that box; she didn’t even know that he was back in the states. There were still several days before he was supposed to return, but he had really wanted to surprise her for her birthday.

Chapter Fifteen

W e also hosted a rehearsal dinner for Kevin and Marie at the Lob Steer Restaurant in Southern Pines; again there was a wonderful printed menu congratulating them on their marriage. Kevin and Marie were married at the First Baptist Church in Pembroke on December sixteenth that same year. Chris and Chuck served as his groomsmen and CL again was his son’s best man. Marie’s sister, Michelle, played the piano for the ceremony and a close friend, David, performed a song with her. During their vows, Kevin and Marie actually sang to each other and their voices really blended beautifully together. The reception was held at Fullers Restaurant and everyone was treated to wonderful music by Kevin, Marie, Michelle, David and Julia as well as the entire cast of singers from their youth church choir. The music was wonderful and everyone certainly enjoyed their performance. It was indeed a reception to . Chuck and Sirena were nice enough to loan the newlyweds their Tahoe to drive up to the mountains for their honeymoon and when they left Pembroke that vehicle was loaded with all the gifts they did not have a chance to open. After returning from their honeymoon they moved into a small motor home in Maxton to settle down to married life. Kevin was still working construction and Marie was working in a lab at the hospital in Lumberton.

Whenever CL and I traveled out of town we were very lucky that Chuck and Sirena lived close by; they were able to take turns with Sally, who also lived close to us to let Apollo out daily for his run then feed him whenever we were gone. He was the very best watchdog you could ever possibly have. We didn’t need a security device as long as we had Apollo.

The word got around pretty quick that he was quite vicious and had a ferocious bark. One day the UPS man had placed a package on our side porch. There was a wooden door there with beveled glass s on each side. The UPS man only stood the long, oversized package up against the outside glass, but Apollo thought he was trying to break in and he flew up against the glass, barking furiously. He broke that glass and the UPS man thought he was coming out that opening and after that he never forgot it. The mail carrier told me that she’d actually leave the packages on the porch and then run back to her car. She said Apollo looked huge through that beveled glass, which of course had only magnified his size but his ferocious bark scared everyone away. Before we had Apollo living with us full time, our house had been broken into twice. After he came to live with us, we never had another attempt at a robbery. CL and I gave Chuck and Sirena fifteen acres of land across the street from us so they began to make plans to build a house over there. I knew that it was a wonderful decision because when the grandchildren started coming along, CL and I would be right across the street from them. Late in January of 2002, Chuck was in an awful car accident over in Southern Pines. Sirena called us in the middle of the night to tell us what had happened so we hurried to the hospital to meet her. But our Heavenly Father was with Chuck early that morning because just after the accident happened, two angels were driving home from Raeford and they saw his overturned vehicle with the back tires still spinning around. They stopped and found him lying out on the grass with his head bleeding profusely. One of them even took off her sweater and wrapped it around his head to try to stop the bleeding. He tried to get up but she held him still while the other girl ran to the closest house to summon help. They reported that it was a long time before the ambulance arrived to take Chuck to the hospital.

CL and I were absolutely devastated to find our son lying flat on a gurney in the Emergency Room. He was helplessly strapped down, with his head locked into a

red, secure vise to hold his neck straight. He had a terrible laceration around the top of his head which had been split open when he was thrown through the windshield. I actually felt like I was going to faint for the first time in my life. I held on tight to CL’s hand while both of us hugged Chuck the best way we could as tears ran down both our faces. Chuck was so upset; he looked at us, his own eyes filled with pain and he said that he actually didn’t want to live if he was going to be paralyzed from the neck down. The doctors there were sure that his neck was broken right at the C5-C6 vertebrae. I can tell you that CL and I have never been so frightened in our lives…but we were helpless to do anything but hold hands, stand there crying and praying constantly. We called the rest of the family. Granny and Sally first then they called their friends at the Church and I called work for CL and myself. After that everyone started calling everyone else so the prayer chains could begin. I know that prayer works! My family surely witnessed a miracle that day! The doctor showed us the X-ray of Chuck’s neck. It looked like it was severed all the way through. A specialist was called in but he was sure that Chuck would end up paralyzed from the waist down but he was determined to take him to surgery so he could put in a steel plate as well as insert a vise that would the neck so his shoulders and arms would be mobile. I know that I prayed hard after CL’s heart attack during those long hours of his surgery. But as a mother, I can tell you honestly that being afraid for a son that you’re scared you’re going to lose, is the worst feeling you’ll ever experience in your life. I know that I prayed even harder that morning and I couldn’t believe that we had to go through this horrible ordeal with our precious son. During the three or more hours of surgery we were there with Sirena. Granny, Sally and then Kevin and Marie came in to sit with all the friends from Laurinburg who came to the waiting room to be there to us. Marie wasn’t feeling well; she had been sick all morning but she insisted that she wanted to come so she could be with her husband. He came in with her purse in one hand along with a box of soda crackers in the other. Kevin sat near her holding her close as we all cried and prayed together.

A couple of hours later, the doctor walked into that waiting room to talk to us. We were on pins and needles while we waited for him to speak but he had a huge smile on his face. He said, “I have just witnessed a miracle! The operation was a total success. Those vertebrae were not severed all the way through after all. It was almost three-fourths of the way complete but I was able to use a plate and a cadaver bone, to the neck. Of course he will require extensive rehab and he’ll probably set off a few metal detectors in the future, but thankfully with determination he might be able to walk again.” A cheer of happiness sounded all through that room. Our prayers had been answered. He was going to survive that terrible wreck. The next few weeks were really tough on all of us, especially Chuck and Sirena. We visited him every day after work and thankfully every prayer came through for him. The doctors and nurses there in Pinehurst were absolutely wonderful. He was able to be moved out of ICU the very next day then later on was taken over to the Rehab unit where he worked really hard with both Physical and Occupational Therapists for the next few weeks. Of course Chris flew in from California to be with us and he and Kevin were standing there when the doctor mentioned that Chuck would probably need a handicapped ramp built when he went home; the doctor thought his two brothers and CL would be able to do that for him, but Chuck adamantly refused. “No, sir; I don’t want a ramp,” he said with determination. “I am going to walk out of this hospital and up the steps into my own house. I will not need a ramp at all when I go home.” God did not let us down! We had all witnessed a miracle! I knew that I would never forget how lucky we were because after a couple of weeks of rehab, Chuck was able to leave the hospital then he was able to finish his therapy at home. Allison Bridgeman was Chuck’s boss at the time out at Clayton Homes so she arranged for Kevin to come work Chuck’s job for him so it would still be available for Chuck when he was able to return to work. Kevin worked half days on his job then put in about six hours for Chuck.

The next few months were hard on Chuck and Sirena, as well as CL and me but we were really impressed by Chuck’s fierce determination to regain all of his strength back. He was determined to become a husband and a helpmate again for Sirena. Through the rest of the next few weeks, thanks be to God, he improved daily and was soon able to return to work full time.

Chapter Sixteen

W e made another trip out to San Francisco and it was a wonderful occasion for us; we were very happy when Chris met us at the airport. We had again changed planes in Chicago and when we arrived, Chris drove us around, showing us some of his favorite sites out there. When you grow up in North Carolina and have only been out to the beaches of the Atlantic Ocean, viewing that amazing Pacific Ocean is a real eye opener. I was actually shocked at the size of the waves as they roared into shore from the Pacific. I was very familiar with the tides and the waves here in North and South Carolina but the façade of that rugged west coast was breath-taking. Some of the cliffs actually fell right into the water and the surf was always churning up high. Chris took us out to Big Sur again; it was still so magnificent that you could actually feel your heart lodge up in your throat. We were excited to see Chris again as well as seeing the blue waters of the Pacific hitting against the base of those dark, craggy cliffs in California from a different angle. I thought it was amazing! CL and I recognized some of the more popular roads that we had seen for years only in the movies as well as during our last trip out here. The view from Bixby Bridge and Highway One at the Big Sur was awesome; it seemed to change each time you were there. Sunset in the west was absolutely beautiful especially looking at it from the area around the Point Sur Lighthouse. The first time I saw fog as it shrouded the Big Sur Coast, it literally snatched my breath out of my chest. Then Chris introduced us to Elizabeth Gremillion, who became another beautiful asset to the Witmore clan. Chris called her Liz. She was rooming with several other girls out there in San Francisco. They had actually met while they were both attending classes at UNC-Greensboro, but they had kept in touch with each other and planned to meet again in California. We also loved her from the very beginning. Liz was originally from Raleigh. Her father was a doctor working at Wake Memorial Hospital. Her mother, Charlotte, worked for one of the airlines there in

Raleigh. Liz had a twin sister, Lauren, who lived in Denver and an older sister, Christy, and a brother, Scott, there in the Raleigh/Durham area also. Liz had finished her Masters Degree in Special Education and was now working out there in San Francisco and living near Chris. After that CL and I started traveling out there to see Chris and Liz as often as we could get away. We loved visiting San Francisco, trying different foods there and touring through the city. CL and I loved the Golden Gate Bridge. We walked across it and one time CL stopped to talk to one of the workers there in the middle of the bridge. When he found out that CL was an engineer from a hospital in North Carolina, he allowed him to go inside one of the tall pillars there to look at the inner workings of the bridge. CL was fascinated by the intricate workmanship he saw there. Later when we toured the gift shop, CL purchased one of the rivets they had on sale that actually had come out of one of the bridge pillars. He brought it home and proudly put it up in his trophy case. Chris also introduced us to Bill’s; there we able to eat one of the best hamburgers I’ve ever had and we enjoyed one of the thickest milkshakes you have ever tasted. Chris and Liz also took us all the way up to Muir Woods and for the very first time I was introduced to those huge redwood trees out in California. They were really magnificent. Chris informed us that he had a surprise for us and he took us all the way up to Yosemite State Park. Liz had to work those days and stayed at home with her dog. We camped overnight in a small building for two nights, sleeping in individual cots. Chris and his friend, Corby, cooked our meals over a tiny propane camp stove. Those two guys had me scared to death about getting up during the night if I had to go to the bath house across the campgrounds. They told me that the big black bears would roam the campsite at night looking for food to eat. I can tell you that I certainly didn’t want to be caught outside after dark by one of those big bears and become his supper. If I ever had to go across that campsite at night, I looked around behind me with every step I took.

On Saturday of that weekend, we hiked up that high mountain toward the highest peak know as the Dome. It would have been over ten miles if CL and I had followed Chris and his friend all the way up to the top. But when we got to the flat surface of the last two cliffs and saw that hanging rope ladder reaching straight up that mountain, I knew I was not going to climb any further. The stone steps carved into the sides of the mountain are one thing, but a moving rope ladder straight up the side of a high rock cliff is not my idea of any fun at all. We told Chris we were going to return to the cabin. So CL and I turned around and hiked back down to our campsite. We only walked about six miles that day and that was far enough for us. We were able to take some beautiful pictures and see some gorgeous scenery everywhere out there. The entire state park is a wonderful place to visit. We spent the next few days in San Francisco enjoying our time with Chris and Liz. We always enjoyed being around all of the young people on our visits. We were very impressed with the Stanford campus and wanted to go back over there. It was beautiful with the palm trees and ornate buildings situated all around the campus. One night Chris and Liz took us to a Greek Restaurant there in downtown San Francisco. Liz, CL and I were led by our hostess to a booth in the back but when we turned around, Chris was not with us. The hostess laughed when we asked her where he was. He had stopped near the front to talk Greek with the owner of the restaurant before he ed us. CL and I were very pleased with all three of the girls our sons introduced us to. They seemed to all match each other very well; and as a mother I prayed extra hard that each of them had discovered their soul mate as I had found mine with C.L. As hard as it was for us to have Chris so far away from home during the school year, we considered ourselves very lucky that he had found a girl that he was so fond of. We were also very fortunate to have Chuck and Sirena living so close by and Kevin and Marie in nearby Pembroke but we worried about Chris being out there in California without any family .

During the end of 2001 and the beginning of 2002, my mother began experiencing deteriorating health problems. Dianne was the one who lived the closest to Mother and she had to travel over to her house often to assist her, but the rest of us all tried to visit on different weekends and stay with Mother and help her out as much as we could. Hospice started coming in and she was hospitalized during that year several times. Her health kept deteriorating even more but she didn’t want to stay at the hospital so we took her back home and hired daily care. Mother had been fortunate during the last two years that my brother, Glenn, was able to come visit her so often since he was the one living the farthest away. Unfortunately one morning Mother fell, breaking the shoulder of the arm that she had broken before; once more she was placed in the hospital at Rockingham but this time they sent her to Moore County for an orthopedist to set her fractured shoulder. When she returned to the Rockingham hospital, the doctor wrote on her orders to resume all medications as previously listed. They did as he ordered, except there were two pages of meds and for some reason, the second page of medications were not copied down again. One day while I was visiting with her at the hospital she told me that they were killing her. She said that I had to get her out of that hospital and take her home before it was too late, but of course, the doctors were not ready to release her. During the next two weeks our mother deteriorated even more rapidly; and unfortunately, she developed complete heart failure. The doctors could not discover why her condition was not improving. Finally Mother’s Hospice nurse, Mandy, discovered that two of Mother’s heart pills and one of her blood pressure pills had been inadvertently left off her chart for the last three weeks. These were the meds that were listed on the second sheet. Mother continued to complain that something was dreadfully wrong but at that time, we just thought that she was mistaken; after all she was 89 years old and would turn 90 on October seventh that year so we attributed all her complaints to her age.

She told us that when her time came, she wanted to die at home and not in the hospital. She also was so pleased that Kevin and Marie were expecting their first child, which would be our first grandchild. Mother was so sure that their baby would be dark headed and look like Kevin. Our mother had a lot of faith in Jesus Christ and His promise of a life in Heaven. She would tell us often that Christ said the He would never leave us. Christ said that God is omnipotent and He would be there whenever we call on Him and as long as we believe we will have a home in Heaven with Him one day. When we learned about the omission of the necessary drugs, of course we were very upset but, unfortunately by then, complete heart failure had set in. Even with the addition of the necessary drugs it was much too late to save our mother. On Monday, August twenty-fifth, 2002 we moved her back home into a hospital bed with round the clock care. Margaret and Karen came from Raleigh and moved in with her, Dianne came during the day so Lynn and I came in on Monday night and the subsequent nights that week to see her also. When the Hospice nurses told us that Thursday afternoon that Mother’s heart was giving out, we were lucky that Glenn’s wife, Teena, who had been visiting her parents in Midland, was able to come down and be with us at this time. It was much too late for our brother, Glenn, to drive down that night all the way from Roanoke, Virginia but Teena was there representing him. I was so upset that Granny and Sally didn’t want me driving to Hamlet that night alone so they took me to Mother’s house and stayed a while before they headed back to Laurinburg. We talked about the different little things Mother had taught us girls while we were growing up. She always said to keep an extra bit of money in our purse in case we had to take a taxi home if we were ever stranded and to always leave the house in clean underwear in case of an accident. We tried to stay upbeat and control our tears. When things began to look bad that night, I called Sirena and she drove to Hamlet and stayed right there by my side. Margaret, Dianne, Karen, Lynn, Teena and I all gathered around Mother’s bed to kiss her and let her know how much we loved her; we tried to comfort her the

best way we could. We wanted her to know that we were praying for her. She said that she was so tired; she told us that she wasn’t afraid to die and she was so brave and trusting; she tried her best to smile with us. Mother knew that God had a home prepared for her, but she just didn’t want to leave any of us. Through our tears, we told her it was all right for her to let go. We knew that one day we would be with her again in Heaven.

We lost our sweet, wonderful mother that Thursday night on August twentyninth, just before midnight. That marvelous woman who had waited up for each and every one of us throughout the years while we were growing up and staying out late at night on dates; the one who’d unconditionally loved each one of us beyond measure was now gone! Since Daddy’s birthday would have been the next day, we realized that God must have wanted our mother to be there to celebrate his birthday with him. We were all crying and were very upset but sometimes God allows you to laugh in spite of all your tears. Karen slid into the bed on one side of Mother, then Margaret climbed up on the other side; they were both hugging her at the end. Then Margaret said: “Mother, when you get to Heaven, please tell Elvis that I love him and miss him.” That statement just came completely out of the blue and in spite of the tears we were all shedding, we had to laugh. Margaret had always been such a fierce, staunch Elvis fan. She was forever reminding us of the times she’d been able to see him perform and actually once she’d had touched his shoes.

So sadness prevailed in our homes once more as our lives changed drastically again. The death of someone you love so dearly puts everything else in perspective. You realize again how precious life is and how easily it can be snatched away from you; you can actually lose someone you love in just the blink of an eye. None of us are promised tomorrow so we need to make the best of today; we all

need to gather our loved ones around us as often as we can and appreciate every single minute that we are able to spend with them. As Mother often reminded us…try to never say anything that you might regret later because you might never have the chance to take it back. Laughter and love can get you through the roughest times in your life. Every moment spent in unhappiness is one minute you can never get back. Mother always told us to never have any regrets because we never knew when something terrible might happen to someone we love and then we would not be able to apologize. She frequently instructed us to tell all of our family and loved ones how much we loved them and enjoyed being with them just as often as possible.

Well our brother Glenn came in the next day ing us in Hamlet. For the next three days we were all so busy with friends and relatives, making sure that we made all the arrangements just exactly like Mother had requested…and those days just seemed so surreal that they all blended together. After the funeral that weekend, the girls and I tried to keep in touch often. I was able to meet my sisters at the house in Hamlet several weekends while we went through all of Mother’s things, each of us trying to decide what we wanted so we could all decide what to keep and what we could give away; also we tried to make arrangements to choose something our children might treasure later. That was a very hard task for all of us, but we knew that we had to do it. There was no one else now. We had lost both our parents and we had to go on back to our own homes to take care of our families. We were very lucky that we didn’t have to see that wonderful perma-stone house that Mother loved so much ed off into a stranger’s hands. Our brother, Glenn, was able to buy it. He and Teena were grateful to have it then they had it beautifully renovated. It is now very tastefully decorated with beautiful furniture and sometimes we are able to meet together in that wonderful house where we were raised. I am sure that our mother would have loved it as much as we do, but the important thing is that once again we are very fortunate to still be able to visit each other there….in that house where we spent so many happy years. We can

be together in that house again which was always filled with so much love and happiness because our mother was so determined to give all of us everything she could. Of course we missed our parents very much but all six of us knew that we had been raised completely surrounded by unconditional love. We are so grateful that we still have each other and are able to visit together often.

Glenn and Teena and their family use that house on Entwistle Street as often as possible when they drive from Roanoke, Virginia down to Sunset Beach or whenever they have to travel to Charlotte either for his chemical company or just to visit with Teena’s parents in Union County. It is now a show place with the wonderful renovations that they were able to do. We all love going there for visits as often as we possibly can although we all still refer to it as ‘Boots’s house”.

Chapter Seventeen

C L and I were very fortunate to be able to meet Kevin and Marie at the hospital here in Laurinburg to greet our first granddaughter, Claire-Louise Witmore; she was born on September fourteenth in 2002 a little over two weeks after Mother’s funeral. Claire was born at Scotland Memorial Hospital and as happy as we were with her birth, I was so sad that my mother was not around to share in our happiness. CL wanted to be called ‘Pa’ and I wanted to be called ‘Gan-ma’. I was the last one in the family, other than Karen, to welcome a grandchild. However the joy of having that precious baby close enough for us to visit often really helped me get through the devastating loss of my mother during those first few weeks. I took so many pictures of that beautiful baby that I know I drove all of my coworkers crazy showing them off as often as I could. Marie and Kevin were even afraid that Claire would suffer permanent eye problems because of the bright lights from the flash of my camera.

CL was an avid fisherman and loved to hunt. I’ve already mentioned how our home had lots of mounted deer heads hanging in two different rooms; handsome bucks with pretty antlers that CL, Kevin and Chuck had killed through the years and had displayed so proudly up on our walls. I also mentioned the state quarters that CL collected but he also loved to collect old pennies, especially those containing copper. One summer while we were down at the beach, he purchased two huge water jugs from one of the outlets in Conway, S.C. so we kept those pennies in separate jars on each side of the door in our great room. Whenever one of us had pennies in our pocket or purse we’d pull them out and put them into our individual penny containers. We were trying to see who would be the first one to fill their jar all the way to the top.

CL retired from the hospital in November of 2002 but remained on as a consultant for the next three years. The hospital gave him a wonderful retirement party which was held in the Dulin Center. A lot of CL’s coworkers and doctors were there to celebrate with us. They surprised us by having Kevin’s wife and her sisters (The Chord of Three) sing for him. All of our family with the exception of Chris, who was still out at Stanford, was able to be there. The girls sang ‘The Wind Beneath My Wings’ and it was very moving. The food was good and it was great that the Hospital had ed CL in this special way.

We were also able to be present when our next grandchild was born. On December seventeenth, 2003, Chuck and Sirena had a son, Charles L Witmore, IV. We nicknamed him “Chaz”. It was another miracle that Chuck had improved enough from his accident to become a father. CL and I were tickled to be blessed again with another grandchild, this time a dark-haired little boy to carry on the Witmore name.

In March of 2004, CL and I decided to go on a cruise with our good friends, Ann and Steve O’Neil, Teresa and Rob Wise, my brother Jerry Lynn (nicknamed Zero) and his current wife, Lynne, along with Rob’s sister, Ellen and her husband, David. On the Friday night before the cruise, we met at our house for supper from Champs (grilled Reuben and French dip sandwiches with French fries and onion rings.) Zero and Lynne spent the night at our house; we agreed that the four of us would meet Teresa and Rob the next morning at Steve’s house. Zero was driving his truck because all of us couldn’t fit in the SUV. Lynne and I said that we would be comfortable in the back seat so CL sat up in the enger seat while Zero drove.

Wonder of all wonders, the next morning when we arrived at Steve’s Teresa was actually already there ready on time! CL teased her about beating us there because we usually had to wait for her to get ready to go somewhere. We arrived in Jacksonville, Florida around twelve-thirty-five p.m. but had to wait in the parking lot until we could board the cruise ship, the Carnival Miracle at two. This was our very first cruise and we were really looking forward to everything. Our stateroom was #1415. We had a wonderful partial view of that beautiful ocean out that small, oval-shaped window. It was necessary to have reservations for the formal dinner each evening and our table was at Horatio’s at five-forty-five p.m. Our entire group totaled ten; we were all able to sit at the same table; the soup, salad, salmon and steak were all delicious; we had to try the different entrées and that was a lot of fun. Afterward CL took me down to the casino for the first time and I was caught; hook, line and sinker! I played for hours until I lost the twenty dollars I took down there with me. Some dude at one of the stations won fifteen thousand dollars; my brother Zero, my hero, won several hundred dollars. From the casino we went down to Jerry McQuires for dancing; Ann and I showed them how to do a couple of line dances we had learned through the years. Then we went into one of the sports bars to watch some March madness ball games. Duke was lucky enough to beat Carolina that night but Stanford lost. I went to the room to go to bed after eleven but CL was still wide awake; he wanted to go up to the top deck where food was served all night long. We were up at six a.m. the next morning; I asked CL about the food served upstairs on the top deck but he said that he would not go back up to the all night buffet again; he said everyone eating up there was grossly overweight so he decided that he didn’t want to ever look like that! CL and I were alone for breakfast; we had delicious omelets, fruit and coffee before heading up to the deck at ten; no sign of our lazy friends or kin. We ran into them a little later; they were on their way to breakfast. We agreed to meet up top later for fun in the sun and take advantage of the special liquid refreshments; we all agreed we had to try out the drink of the day and the food

entrées that would be served later in the afternoon. Then CL and I toured the gift shops for souvenirs.

We spent all afternoon at the pool…all of us were blistered in more ways than one. We really enjoyed attending the Captain’s welcome aboard cocktail party with all of our friends. Then we met for dinner again that night at the same table with the same wonderful waiter and attendant. Afterward, we toured the Casino again; and I played until I lost my twenty dollars. My lucky brother won again. We attended a floor show after that then we just had to return to our stateroom for some needed sleep. After breakfast the next morning we were able to watch the ship pull in to port at Cozumel, Mexico. Wow….could that skipper parallel park! We went in many of the souvenir shops in Cozumel then spent a wonderful afternoon at Senor Frog’s dancing and carousing and having an absolutely wonderful time. It was Spring Break; you couldn’t move on that dance floor for the young girls really enjoying themselves; they would climb up on the back of the wooden benches and either jump or actually fall onto the dance floor. There is no age limit for drinking when you are out in the international waters or in Mexico, so these young college girls were taking full advantage of that. They were still dancing and having fun when we headed back to the ship to get ready for dinner. Again we had the same waiter; he was from India (I cannot pronounce his name, let alone spell it!). Just suffice it to say that he knew his job very well and he was very, very handsome. The next morning Steve called our room at six forty-five and we rushed around to get ready for our fishing trip. We were going to meet the group for breakfast but before we could reach the breakfast deck, Steve called again saying that they were through and were going down to the “A” deck to disembark; we agreed to meet them there. We grabbed a couple of breakfast sandwiches as well as our coffee then headed down to the “A” deck where we had embarked for Cozumel the previous

morning. Alas, no one was there! So we sat there and waited and waited for our group…wondering what was holding everyone up. Finally I ran up the stairs to read the posted sign there at the top of the steps; the sign reported that today you could not leave the ship from that exit; they were allowed to unload engers only at the middle ship exit and not port side like the day before. We ran and ran and we got there to the outside door just in time to see the water ferry pull the gangplank in with all our friends waving goodbye to us. Of course we had to wait for the next ferry. Our friends were already on their way to the fishing dock to board the boat all of us had rented. After loading up about one hundred plus people, it moved forward with that vessel slapping hard against the waves but we were finally headed for shore at Playa Del Carmen. If that bouncing ferry did not make you seasick, I figured that nothing else we ever experienced would! Well of course, CL just knew that we had lost the money we had paid for the fishing excursion but we decided to check out the mainland at Playa Del Carmen anyway.

But when we reached the dock there was a “nice” man from Canada waiting at the end of the pier for us. He said that a man named Steve had told him to wait there then find the big man in a red Stanford hat and direct him out to Peurta Adventura where the charter boats were moored. We considered the fact that this stranger found us amid all the other engers to be a remarkable feat. He led us to the first group of taxis and asked what the price was to travel out there; he shook his head at the price they quoted, saying that was too many pesos. So he led us about four more blocks to find another taxi stand to take us out there. He told CL that price was also too high. So he took us all the way to another corner to find a big taxi bus which held about fourteen people but only cost us ten pesos each to ride. He told the driver in Spanish where we were supposed to go so we found our seats and waved good bye to our new Canadian friend. He had explained to CL that he spent six months down in Mexico then traveled back up north for the other six months.

We knew that we were very lucky that Steve had the foresight to tell him to watch out for us but we still didn’t know if we would be able to catch up with our party at all before the boat actually left the dock. The bus sped down a nice big highway with lots of signs on each side of the road, but alas, they were all in Spanish; neither of us could speak anything but ‘si, senora, senor or adios’! Everyone on the bus were talking gibberish so of course we couldn’t understand a word they were saying but you could tell by their dress and their lunch boxes that they were day workers. However, they kept looking back at the two of us grinning and this made me very uncomfortable…obviously we looked just like American tourists who just didn’t belong with them, which we were. If they asked us something, we had to shake our head, saying “no comprehend!” They would smile then turn around as they continued with their conversations with each other. We kept going further and further away from civilization. I really began to worry about where we were going to end up and what might happen to us. In the past I’ve often heard about American tourists being robbed and left in one of the less populated, very remote areas of Mexico; the further we rode away from the populated town, the more I worried. I really didn’t know what was going to happen to us at all but of course, CL was not one bit worried. He was always so steadfast and sure; the unknown didn’t faze him like it did me! Finally the bus stopped then made a complete U-turn. The driver opened the door and every one of those workers got out but CL and me. We continued just to sit there. The bus driver finally turned around to look back at us. “Your stop,” he said curtly then nodded toward the open door. CL took my hand and we stepped off the bus. There was absolutely nothing whatsoever to see out there but a long, empty road and woods on both sides of the highway. Finally CL saw a small path leading down through the woods and that is where all of the men who had just left the bus in front of us were heading. CL shook his head and said “Come on; we’ll follow them.” Well, it was a well worn path but it was very narrow and the further we walked,

the more apprehensive I became. I really was becoming agitated but CL kept pulling me along behind some of those workers who were hurrying ahead of us. Finally we started to smell fresh ocean water then it was possible to hear a lot of sea gulls screeching overhead. We could also hear a loud speaker and some music in the background somewhere in front of us. Then we arrived at a busy marine harbor. We walked up to the first shipping port which was Captain Rick’s but he did not have anyone named Robert Wise who had rented a boat from them. Then they sent us around to another group of boats called Tequila Sunrise. They had Robert’s name down but informed us that the boat had already left the dock. CL didn’t hesitate; he grabbed my hand and we took off running down the boardwalk toward the water. He looked out past the edge of the pier then saw a boat heading out toward the open sea. He recognized Zero and Steve then he hollered loudly to get their attention. “Hey, guys; wait for us!” Lo and behold Steve told the man steering the boat to just back up so we could climb aboard. They backed that boat up to the dock so CL grabbed my hand then pulled me along with him and we jumped from that boardwalk onto the back of that boat. I have never been so happy to see anyone in my whole life as I was those six friends of ours on that boat, Ann, Steve, Rob, David, Zero and Lynne. Teresa and Rob’s sister, Ellen, had decided to shop that day instead of going out deep sea fishing. Steve and my brother could not believe our good luck; it was almost impossible that we had managed to find them here in a strange country where neither one of us spoke a single word of Spanish. CL told our friends that that we only had to pay one dollar each for our bus trip out there; they informed us each one of them had to pay over ten dollars earlier to ride out there in their taxi. Everyone laughed because meeting again under circumstances such as this was absolutely unbelievable.

Ann O’Neal laughed the hardest…she said that if they had not sent the boat crew back to the store to load up the coolers with the cold drinks they had been promised, that they would have already been too far out to sea to come back for us. Needless to say we had a blast that day. We didn’t have much luck ourselves with the fishing itself but Rob’s brother-in-law, David, caught a huge fish weighing thirty-five to forty pounds. I can’t pronounce the name of that fish nor can I spell it but I just want to report that he had to fight it for a long time before he was finally able to bring it in. Back at shore, the boat crew cut the fish up then divided it with us. After that we rode in two taxis back to Playa Del Carmen and took our half fish with us. The boat crew was satisfied with the other half. We ended up at Carlos N’ Charlie’s Pub and they agreed to cook the fish without charge as long as we purchased side orders and our drinks from them. Of course, we happily agreed to their requirement. Then we went out to the balcony to watch for Teresa and Ellen to us for the meal. The food and refreshments were wonderful. They broiled that fish with a special sauce as well as a lemon, tomato and onion garnish and it was the best fish I have ever eaten. We never did find Teresa and Ellen; they had grown tired of waiting for us and had gone back to the ship, but if we didn’t have a good time that day, no one did! Of course, we were all sort of red and extremely sunburned.

Later that evening CL and I got ready for dinner; the soup that night was French Onion and it was really extra good; I had filet mignon, CL had grouper; how he could eat fish again after having it for lunch that day, I’ll never know but I believe that husband of mine could have eaten fish all three meals every single day and would never have grown tired of it! His mother told me once that when CL was little and they asked him what he wanted for his birthday meal, he always told them ‘fish’. We ed everyone back down in the casino but we didn’t win so we went to the room and bed at nine for a good night’s sleep which we sorely needed. We met everyone for breakfast the next morning then sat outside in the shade

with our group until time for lunch. That afternoon we were allowed to go to the “welcome back” party for previous Carnival guests. Rob, Teresa, Zero and Lynn, had reserved invitations and each one was able to bring a guest along so we all went to the cocktail party with them before we went back down to dinner, which was prime rib with all the trimmings that night. We attended a Broadway Show later which was very good then CL and I went back to the casino. CL and I lost money but Rob, Teresa, Ann and Zero all won again. Our last full day on the ship was on Thursday. We docked at Freeport, Grand Bahamas that morning. After breakfast, Rob, Teresa, David, Ellen, Zero and Lynne all decided to go ashore. Ann, Steve, CL and I stayed there on the ship so we walked around to tour some of the facilities we had not seen before. We went to the gym then tried out some of the tread machines. They were great and we really had a good time. While coming back north we were able to see a lot of Cuba; there were a few rolling hills and green trees everywhere and very little civilization; there was only a small stretch of beachfront before the dark and ominous green forests took over completely. We had a group picture made that afternoon and it was good of all ten of us…we were smiling so you could tell we had all experienced a good time. Our last formal dinner that night was wonderful. The service was exceptional as usual; and that night there was special entertainment for us. The waitresses and waiters who had served us all week climbed up on those high, narrow tables they used for the serving dishes. How they danced up there on those round tables without falling was unbelievable; then we ran into a big storm and I don’t understand how those young men and women kept their balance because the boat started rocking back and forth and shaking something fierce. For the very first time, we realized that we were out in the middle of the sea and were at the mercy of some big, rolling waves.

We separated to go to our rooms and change out of our formal attire into something more comfortable. Gee whiz; Steve called us a little later and said that he had just lost his breakfast, his lunch and his supper; his stomach was now so empty, he was going somewhere to find something else to eat. CL, Zero and I were fortunate enough not to get sick that night at all. CL kept telling me to pretend we were on a roller coaster and we coasted right through it. We went back to the casino with my last bit of money; this time I won fifty-eight dollars so I stopped playing; after giving CL a few dollars, I put my hard earned money in my pocket. Now bags had to be packed then placed outside our stateroom door for the midnight pickup. On Friday morning we woke up at the dock back in Jacksonville, Florida; now the ocean was again quiet and very peaceful. You’d never know that we had hit squalls and high seas just the night before. After our last breakfast on board the ship, we met in the auditorium for disembarking orders. We went through long lines and customs with ease; met together in the parking lot to make sure that everyone’s luggage was secured into the back of Zero’s truck. When that was done, Rob took off in the Suburban. He drove a lot faster than the rest of us but we tagged along behind, trying our best to keep up. We stopped somewhere in Georgia at a Ruby Tuesday’s for lunch then dropped Ellen and David off in Timmonsville, S.C. Then we were on our way back to Steve and Ann’s before returning back home to Laurinburg. We went straight to Chuck’s and Sirena’s; both of us had to have our “Chaz” fix. We knew we had to plan also to see Claire just as soon as possible. Though we had a very good time, CL and I had really missed our grandchildren while we were gone. Chuck cracked up laughing when he glimpsed CL’s sombrero and the poncho he brought home with him from Mexico. CL and Zero modeled their Mexican sombreros calling themselves ‘the two Amigos’, claiming they’d left the third ‘amigo’ in South Carolina; of course, they were talking about Steve.

As we all laughed together, we decided right then that we really wanted to go back on another cruise sometime later; CL said that would be a good idea for us to plan to take a cruise about every five years. Lynne said that she didn’t want to go because she didn’t like the way Zero flirted with other women, especially those young girls on spring break. Unfortunately a few months later, Lynne left Zero so he started dating again then became involved with his third wife, Rachelle; once more we were delighted to become reacquainted with her.

In August of 2004, Kevin and Marie welcomed a son named Lance Keaton. So now we were blessed with two grandsons with the Witmore name and one granddaughter. We were really proud grandparents and we were still so fortunate to be able to be there at the hospital with our sons when these miracles happened. In February of 2005 we had to travel up to Chapel Hill to be with Chuck and Sirena when they welcomed a daughter named Sherry Lee into our family. I helped as much as I could then later Sirena put them into daycare when she had to return to work.

A couple of months later I began working just twenty hours a week in Home Health. I was there for ten hours every Monday and Tuesday so I could keep both Chaz and Sherry on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday so Chuck and Sirena could work full time without daycare costing them an arm and a leg. After the April 2005 hurricane down in New Orleans and Mississippi, CL, Bill Riggins, along with a group of men from St. John’s Church and a Gibson Church, all went down to Mississippi to work on a church which had been demolished by that storm. CL and Bill came back home with wonderful stories about the people they had met that week and the great results they had achieved in the buildings they had all worked on. CL really felt blessed by that trip he made and he talked endlessly about going again sometime in the future.

Later I was able to retire from Home Health completely in 2006. Now with grandchildren so close by, CL and I spent a lot of time with them. Our lives were filled once again with the miracle of children; but I was still able to find a lot of free time on weekends and at night to continue with my writing. I had never given up on my desire to become a published author so I spent many an hour revamping my books. Claire and Lance really loved to come for visits here at our home or go across the street to play with Chaz and Sherry at their house here in Laurinburg; we tried to meet at least weekly at someone’s house; either here or we’d drive to Pembroke. CL and I really enjoyed having the house full of laughter and the pitter-patter of little feet around again. It was so much fun to have all four of them visiting us as often as possible so we enjoyed a lot of laughter with happy children playing around us.

Finally I did receive some good news about my writing after Christmas. One of the publishing companies I had sent my work to in New York City was very complimentary about my book about NASCAR racing at The Rock in Rockingham. The letter was from a nice guy named Terry who said that he loved my book about the racetrack and had turned it over to his editor for his opinion. A week or so later, I heard from the editor that although he liked my writing, he thought that NASCAR racing was just a southern sport and would never get out of the Boondocks (which he considered the South) and he had decided that he just didn’t want to take a chance on publishing a book about racing in the south at this particular time. I was very disappointed but I was determined not to give up. I just kept sending that book to other publishing companies hoping for a different outcome… because at least now, I knew that maybe I had written something that might interest an editor somewhere. The next time it was rejected, I actually paid an agent to read over it; I wanted her to give me some pointers on how I could improve the story so I might finally be able to sell it. When she sent it back to me, I did exactly as she suggested. I made every single one of the changes she recommended, but when I mailed it back to her, it was

still rejected by the publishing companies she sent it to. I just filed those letters along with all of the other rejection slips I received then continued sending the book elsewhere.

Chapter Eighteen

L ater that year CL grew restless so he decided to return to the hospital to work nineteen hours a week. David Bales, who was now in charge of the Engineering Department at Scotland Memorial Hospital was very glad to have CL back at work. CL was able to tell him so much about the hospital because he had been in charge of the Engineering Department during the actual construction of it plus all the new buildings. CL really enjoyed those hours he spent there working with old friends from the past; he also loved working for Hospice and since he was not under so much stress any longer he liked it even more. Now he could clock out at five o’clock and not have to worry about being called in the middle of the night or having to be notified if something went wrong that he’d have to go in to fix. Now on the days he worked he was able to leave that job and forget it until he clocked in once again. He always found time to stop and speak to those lonely patients who were always sitting in wheelchairs out in the front lobby at Hospice and they looked forward to his visits very much. CL used to say one of the hardest things he ever had to face while he was head of the Engineering Department at the Hospital was trying to t Commission Accreditation. He spent many an hour of overtime working to make sure all the I’s were dotted and all the T’s were crossed before they came in for the inspection. Then he was always so proud when the Hospital ed without deficiency and the greatest accomplishment of all was the three-year accreditation which was the ‘gold’ standard for all hospitals. The new hospital had been built in 1979 and CL said those days were the ones he enjoyed the most…he loved being in on the very start; from the day the first shovel of dirt came out of the ground all the way through the construction and the actual move from the old hospital to the new complex.

After obtaining his doctorate degree in Greek Archaeology in 2006 at Stanford, Chris accepted a job as Assistant Professor at Brown University in Providence, Rhode Island. Now that he had a good position and was earning a salary, he finally asked Liz to marry him. He offered her a diamond ring and thankfully she accepted it, so we looked forward to another wedding in our future.

The first week in May of 2007 CL was invited to return to Seymour Johnson Air Force Base in Goldsboro, NC for an air force reunion so he and I traveled there for the first time since he had been discharged. CL was very excited to become reacquainted with some of the air force buddies he had served with during the four years he was in the Air Force. I was delighted to meet some of the wives and we became good friends after that. Andy and Taffy DeCuzzi live up near Lake Norman at Sherrills Ford. Edie and George Hance live in Jacksonville, Florida and Lucy and Bobby Banks live near the beach in Pollocksville, N.C. We came back in time to start making plans for another wedding in our family. Chris and Liz selected June second of 2007 as their wedding date. We hosted their rehearsal dinner and dance the night before at a wonderful bed and breakfast Inn up at Flat Rock, N.C. near Asheville. The mountains were beautiful at that time of year and the weather was very nice on the afternoon of the wedding. Chris and Liz were married just before dark. The ceremony took place outside that lovely inn where we had the rehearsal dinner just the night before. All of us, as well as Liz’s family, were able to attend; Kevin and Chuck both served as groomsmen and CL again was best man for his son. A lot of Chris and Liz’s friends and fellow professors from California and Rhode Island were also able to attend; it was great getting together with the friends Chris and Liz had introduced us to during some of our trips out to San Francisco and others he had met at Brown.

It was a very beautiful wedding. Claire was gorgeous as the flower girl and Liz’s nephew, Finley, was a handsome ring bearer. The wedding reception was wonderful with lots of toasts, dancing and singing from everyone. My brother, Glenn and his wife, Teena were able to attend the wedding along with my brother, Zero and Rachelle. Now, all three of our sons were married to beautiful, marvelous girls and CL and I were very happy with their choices. We were proud of our ‘new’ daughters. They were all content and seemed to match each other perfectly.

We didn’t have a grandchild in 2006 or 2007 so we were able to get together often with the four grandchildren that we did have. Our lives were complete now with all three sons happily married. I was really in my element now because I was keeping Chaz and Sherry full time and Chuck and Sirena were happy to have them taken care of at home instead of daycare. All I had to do was cross the street to go to their house every day; everything I needed for their care was right there at my fingertips. It was around that time that Teresa and Rob separated and Teresa moved in with a relative of hers. She needed a place to store a lot of furniture so CL borrowed a trailer and loaded up the storage building behind their house in Random Woods and carried it over to the house where Teresa was now staying. She was astonished that CL was able to put that building up on that trailer all by himself then set it up in her back yard. After that Teresa started going out with CL and me to some of the parties at the VFW and the American Legion in Hamlet as well as over to the Shag Club dances at the Country Club in Rockingham. For the last two years, CL had served as Deacon at the Baptist Church and helped me count the receipts on Sunday then we would take them to the bank before we went out to lunch together. When CL’s term as Deacon ended, we agreed that we wanted to be able to travel more, so when he resigned as Deacon, I also gave up my job as the Church Treasurer that same year.

In October of 2007, I received a letter from a guy named, Terry Spratt, who had read my first book about NASCAR racing. He asked me if I had been able to publish that novel. He said that he was now working for a publishing company in Indiana and if the book was still available, his boss loved Indy racing and was willing to read my manuscript. Of course, I sent it to him right away and by the end of January the next year, I had a contract for three books. I was ecstatic to say the least.

On January nineteenth of 2008, Kevin and Marie had a second daughter named Emma Kate. That gave us five grandchildren to love, enjoy and even spoil each time we were given that opportunity. Again we were able to be there at her birth because of CL’s connection to the hospital.

Early in March, I was fortunate enough to hold the first hardback copy of my murder mystery…Wheels of Danger in my hand. It was being published both in hard back as well as soft cover editions, this time by Authorhouse out in Bloomington, Indiana. This book was about a female mechanic who went to work for a famous racecar driver right there in Rockingham, N.C. at the North Carolina Motor Speedway, nicknamed The Rock. CL and I had enjoyed working there very much through the years and we continued to follow NASCAR racing even though the races were no longer being held at the Rockingham track. I did not like the picture the Design Team selected to put on the front of my book so I mailed them a picture of Dale Earnhardt’s #3 black car racing around the track at The Rock when he won his seventh championship. In the background, you can easily see the beautiful grandstands with all the fans sitting there so that was the one that I wanted put on the front of the book.

On March thirty-first of that same year in 2008, Chris and Liz welcomed a son Elias Austin, nicknamed Eli. Chris enjoyed his classes at Brown and he and Liz also enjoyed living in Rhode Island.

A little while later CL and I made our first trip up there to see them. He drove his truck and I tried to navigate our way through those interstates, but at night, with all the intersecting roads, I managed to get us lost several times. CL said that the next time we drove up to Rhode Island he intended to have a GPS along with him. We were excited to welcome Eli as the new addition to our family. The birth of this baby made their life complete and we were very pleased that now all three of our sons were blessed with sons of their own to carry on the Witmore name. During our visits with Chris and Liz and Eli, they chauffeured us around and we were able to visit some beautiful and famous places at different times. He also took us around the campus at Brown but it was not compacted together on one spot like Stanford. Instead the buildings were actually set on different blocks around the campus.

When Chris took us up to Boston for the first time we were fascinated when we visited Paul Revere’s house. Boston is nicknamed the city of Liberty and it certainly suits that historical city. We have a picture of CL knocking on Paul Revere’s door wanting to know why he wasn’t home so he could talk to him… CL said he had some questions he wanted to ask Paul. During this time, we were fortunate enough to tour Rhode Island, Cape Cod, Martha’s Vineyard, and many other interesting places on the extreme Northern Coast. It is certainly worth the trip to travel that way. One of the most interesting places we visited with Chris and Liz was up in Newport. We walked the Cliff Walk and took pictures of those beautiful homes up there sitting out on the high cliffs; compared to our homes, they looked like castles and the view all the way down to the ocean was absolutely wonderful.

In May of 2008 CL and I again returned to the Air Force Reunion in Goldsboro and again we had a wonderful time with old friends and CL’s Air Force buddies. Unfortunately, we were informed at that time that because of the colonel who had always handled the details out at the air base they were not going to be able

to continue to host the reunion. This year would be the last time that they would be able to have one unless someone else was able to step up to take care of it. We were sad that it was probably the last one, but CL and I made the best of the time we had with our friends again.

We were lucky enough to drive back up to visit Chris, Liz and Eli again. They were moving into a bigger house and I would be taking care of Eli while they moved the big furniture. But this time CL had a GPS in the truck and we didn’t get lost going up there. CL told Chris that GPS was a life saver, but I told him that “no, it was a ‘wife’ saver” because I didn’t get fussed at this time for getting us lost.

In November of that same year, I published a sequel to Wheels called Treacherous Hearts. It was about a female race driver who fell in love with an engineer on the railroad there in Rockingham; it also involved the couple from the first book about racing. Now that I had two books in print I thought maybe I could really get my name out there and sell a lot of books. In fact I wrote this book about a female race driver before Danica Patrick won her Indy race over in Japan. This time the Design Team had a beautiful blond on the cover of the book which suited the book completely so I was satisfied with their choice. She was a model who had won the Indy 500 beauty contest out in Indianapolis one year.

In October of that year CL and I set up booths at both the John Blue Festival here in Laurinburg and the Seaboard Festival over in Hamlet, and sure enough I started selling my books there as well as at the different race tracks. I was able to sell to friends and relatives near and far; in fact when I started receiving a few of those royalty checks every three months, I discovered that I was actually selling more books than the publishing company was able to sell.

But, I knew that it takes more than one or two books to get your name out there where book stores will stock them for sale. There are so many famous writers who hit the best seller lists with every single book they write that it is very difficult for a new writer to get established even if those books are really good.

Chapter Nineteen

W e did have some really sad days during 2008. First, Allie, Chuck and Sirena’s beloved black lab, ate some poisoned food she’d found out in the woods and the vet was unable to save her. We were all so very upset. Then around Christmas time while Chris was home for the holidays that year, Apollo got very sick. He stopped eating and we could tell that he was in a lot of pain. CL sat up with him all night long tending to him but the next morning CL agreed that he had to be taken to the vet. He went with Chuck, Chris and Sally over to the vet’s office where they suggested that since Apollo was suffering from what they believed had been a stroke due to his age, that it was time to let him go. They had to agree with what the vet suggested. After it was over they brought Apollo back home and buried him in our back yard. We were all so very sad; when something like that happens to an animal you’ve loved for years, it is like losing a member of your family. We had had Apollo since 1997 and it was very hard not to have him around any more but we knew that we must continue on with our lives because our children and our grandchildren depended on us.

So in the beginning of 2009, I was busy working on a new novel as well as keeping the two grandchildren across the street and visiting with all of the other grandchildren as often as I possibly could. We were enjoying attending Sunday school and church every weekend. We ed a different Sunday school class called the Couples Class which we were able to attend together every Sunday morning and we both loved hearing Bob Moore teach that class. We also enjoyed visiting with family and friends and traveling whenever possible. Both CL and I considered our life to be very comfortable and we were content. We had all the material things that we needed; we enjoyed being together so much and we were still very much in love with each other. Also our wonderful family visited us as often as possible.

Everything was going great! We had the extra money CL was making at the hospital two days a week, along with our retirement checks; both of us were drawing social security and we were able to travel anywhere we wanted to go. Of course, most often we wanted to visit Chris, Liz and Eli who lived so far away from the rest of our sons… because we could reach Chuck and Kevin often with no problem. We could go right across the street to see Chuck and his family any time we wanted to; and it was only a half hour drive away to see Kevin and his family; but Chris and his family were fourteen hours away if we drove, and over a half day if we flew because we had to drive either to Charlotte or Raleigh to board a plane to take us up to Boston; even though flying is relatively easy now we still live two hours away from any of the major airports. That New Year’s Day CL and I accepted our great life without any qualms or reservations but we were very thankful to God for our many blessings. I finally had a publisher for my books. Our three sons were happily married to women they loved very much. They all had wonderful children to make their life complete. We never dreamed that the simple, enjoyable life that we had grown accustomed to was as perilous as a balloon with too much air inside…which would soon burst. No one has the ability to ever predict tomorrow so that New Year’s Day January as we shared a delicious meal of black-eyed peas, collards, cornbread and ham with our family, we were hoping for plenty of money and good luck during the coming year. We never realized that our lives were about to change and that life as we knew it would come crashing down around us.

Life does has a sneaky way of slipping up behind you and stabbing you in the back when you least expect it! When you become really complacent in your life and you think everything is finally going your way, you better watch out. You can bet your bottom dollar that something or someone is about to jerk the rug out from under your feet. With a crushing experience you will find out that life is not a bed of roses after all. Instead, it can be filled with disappointments and unhappiness as well as

excruciating pain for everyone involved. Sometimes the startling discovery that life is very, very fragile can be the hardest lesson of all for any of us to learn. When you suddenly realize that your own life can be snatched away from you in the blink of an eye, it does make every single person in the world sit up and take notice. That undoubtedly is the very worst experience of them all. That is exactly what happened to me that February of 2009…and I will tell you that when you’re trying to come to with a catastrophic disease such as cancer, it is one of the most devastating experiences a person can ever have. Unfortunately, you have to learn how to change things when change is the hardest thing you will ever have to do!

The irony of it at all is that I have always been a very healthy person. I have always exercised faithfully; even taught exercise classes and line dancing to some of my friends for years. We used to have a group called the Firm Believers that met in a classroom at the Baptist Church several years ago. When the instructor moved away, I agreed to lead the class so we could continue exercising twice a week. The only prescription medicine I’ve ever had to take was a hypertensive drug after I turned fifty. After marrying CL in 1969 the only time I was ever hospitalized was during the delivery of our three sons. I was one of the lucky women who even went through early menopause quite easily, only realizing what had happened to me when it was all over. I never experienced the hot flashes or the mood swings back then at all; then the surprise that knocked us all for a loop was that there was nothing to indicate any kind of transformation going on in my body. I had no symptoms whatsoever! On the morning of February ninth, 2009, I went to Dr. Neal for a routine pap smear and my regular yearly checkup. That visit changed my life as I knew it forever.

But from the beginning I prayed hard; then I resolved that I was going to be a

SURVIVOR! I had lost my appetite during the last few months; I realized that I was losing weight every week, but basically I didn’t feel any different. I had no pain or weakness or blood loss whatsoever; in fact, I really felt pretty good, especially about the weight loss. I never dreamed that there was something drastically wrong with me. I actually thought everything was okay! My pap smear and routine pelvic exam were entirely normal but on palpable examination, Dr. Neal found a mass in my stomach and he was very upset about it. For the first time since I walked into his office that day, I became scared and apprehensive about what might actually be wrong with me. He made an appointment for a STAT cat scan at the hospital that same afternoon. That was far easier than I had expected so I returned home afterward, but at five p.m. that afternoon the call came from Dr. Neal’s office requesting that CL and I come back down there to see him right away. When we talked with Dr. Neal our worst fears were realized. I had a mesenteric mass tumor that completely filled my abdomen, which was very suspicious of stomach cancer. My heart fell to my feet. I knew that the days ahead were going to be very, very rough for each and every one of us. Dr. Neal was very upset and even apologetic. He said that it had to be a fast growing tumor because last year this time there was no indication whatsoever that anything was wrong with me because all of my tests then had been negative and there was no mass then. The pap smear had been completely normal and he had not been able to feel anything at that time when he checked my stomach. He said that he would a surgeon immediately to schedule a biopsy for me. CL and I walked woodenly out to the car. Right there outside Dr. Neal’s office, he took me in his arms, hugging me hard. I had tears in my eyes and leaned heavily on CL but he remained so calm and serene. “You’re going to be fine, darling,” he said. “We’ll get through this together, no matter what happens; we can survive anything as long as we’re together!” The unbelievable pain and despair of finding out that you have an illness that is potentially fatal is undoubtedly one of the worst things in the whole world. But then the greatest thing in the world is the wonder of your family and friends who

continue to flock around you. They offer you so much needed and their undying love is so welcome that you actually have hope and a promise for your future; especially because they have the steadfast faith that with determination and God’s help you will be able to overcome anything!

Your family and old friends who have remained loyal and true through the years as well as new more recent friends, who also surround you with loyalty and endearing love, make even impossible things seem possible.

As soon as we returned home our son, Chuck, and his wife Sirena, were waiting for us. In just a little while our son, Kevin, came to the house to also offer to CL and me; of course, we all cried together and later on some very good friends came in also that night to comfort us; CL’s sister, Sally, and her husband, David, also came; all of them prayed with us, giving us all hope that everything would turn out all right. Lab work was ordered for the next morning. After that I was scheduled for a biopsy of the left lymph nodes on February thirteenth so another trip to the hospital for pre-op was then necessary. The biopsy was scheduled for five-thirty a.m. the next morning. I was supposed to be the first case in the lineup for Dr. Parks. It was scary but not really as bad as I had feared. The pain from that procedure was really minimal and only fear of the actual outcome was the only reason I even felt anxious and upset.

During that weekend, my sisters, Dianne, Margaret and Karen all came bringing lunch and plenty of love, and prayers. I was placed on everyone’s prayer lists at their churches and with the prayer circles here in Laurinburg as well as other states. That loving got me through some very difficult, very tough days as well as many sleepless nights. On February nineteenth, another appointment was made with the surgeon; but instead of meeting him in his office, he sent me directly to the hospital for another cat scan and a biopsy of the liver which was scheduled STAT. Of course that was not any fun at all; it was much more painful than the first biopsy.

After the results came back another appointment was made with the surgeon. All of my fears only intensified when he informed me that I had both ovarian cancer as well as liver cancer. I thought, “oh, Lord, no”. That was surely a death sentence! This information was simply too much for anyone to accept. I was devastated! CL and I both cried all the way home. Every journey you take begins with one single step. That’s when I knew I had to take that first step if I was going to survive to see my grandchildren grow up. Struggling with a diagnosis of what may possibly be a terminal illness really makes you face your own limitations head on. Unfortunately we are not promised tomorrow so we must live every single day to the very best of our ability.

That weekend, my wonderful sisters and family came once again with more food, hope and cheerfulness, praying with us; they kept insisting that I was going to be all right in the long run. As devastating as this new diagnosis was, I did not question God once…not one single time did I ask “why me, Lord?” Just recently I had read a cancer report that this horrible disease would strike one in every eight people in the same family…and counting CL and I, Chuck, Chris and Kevin, with their wives, Sirena, Liz and Marie, all of us totaled eight not even counting our grandchildren. So I decided that I was the one who should have been chosen to go through this terrible ordeal. But I also realized that I really trusted God to do His will; when you combine that with the faith Mother had instilled in me, I knew that I was the strongest person in our family. I didn’t have to work so I would be the one who would be able to withstand the surgery as well as the following chemo-therapy treatments, with all of its subsequent complications without losing any money because I didn’t work. CL had already experienced a devastating heart attack and had to continue treatment for his Ischemic Heart Disease so he was not able to go through this type of surgery. Our sons had to work every day and their wives all had small children to take care of.

Besides I knew that my faith in God’s love would see me through this crisis. I realized that I would have to face some very difficult days ahead and I was pretty sure I would cry myself to sleep many a night, but I staunchly vowed not to ever give up. I was a ‘believer’ and I wanted to be a ‘survivor’. I was not going to just roll over and die. I would fight this as long as I had breath in my body along with love and hope in my heart. Another appointment was scheduled with Dr. Parks but after the results from the liver biopsy came in, he said that he didn’t know of anyone who would consent to remove the tumor before istering chemo; most doctors would order chemo first, then the surgery, then another round of chemo would be necessary if I was even able to withstand the second round so I knew right then that I wanted a second opinion so I asked for one.

Needless to say, I was completely devastated but I was referred to the Scotland Memorial Hospital Cancer Center the very next day. After another trip to the hospital for blood work, chest X-rays and more tests, I met Dr. Kelvin Raybon, the Oncologist, for the very first time. CL knew him through his work at the hospital and was very impressed with him. On the twenty-sixth of February he examined me. Then he offered me some hope for the very first time during that entire month. Dr. Raybon said that it was probably only ovarian cancer and not liver cancer after all. He was hopeful that since there had been no sign of cancer the year before when I had a pap smear that we had caught it in its very early stages. He said he’d rather not decide on chemo first then surgery and follow-up chemo again. Instead he suggested that I needed an appointment with a gynecological oncologist who would be able to make the right decision. He said that he would be able to decide which should be performed first; he wasn’t sure if having chemo to reduce the size of the tumor was warranted as the very first step of my treatment or not.

I knew that I didn’t want to go through chemo, surgery, then chemo again

because I had witnessed so many cases during the years I worked in Home Health. I had typed many reports on patients who had to go through all three of those procedures. Most of the time, they were too weak to be able to withstand the chemo the second time around. I prayed that would not be what happened to me. More blood work was ordered for the next day and on the twenty-seventh I was given a new prescription. Dr. Raybon said that there were very good specialists at Duke and UNC but when he checked with them he was told that it would probably be a couple of weeks before they could even evaluate me. He said that he did not want to wait any longer for something to be done. It was best if we could have this evaluation performed right away. He said that he knew of a Dr. Smith in Columbia, S.C. who worked only with women who had been diagnosed with cancers such as this. Sirena was with me that morning and recognized Dr. Smith’s name. He had treated her grandmother ten years before and she said that was who she wanted me to go see. Dr. Raybon set up an appointment with him for Monday, March second. After that I stopped telling anyone what was actually wrong with me because my diagnoses just kept changing. It had not even been an entire month since I was first told about the mass as well as the several different types of cancer I might have, but I felt that it had been at least six months since all this turmoil had started. I could not have gotten through those horrible days and nights without my wonderful husband, CL, as well as my caring family . My loved ones and friends from all over the Carolinas and Virginia were so ive.

Chapter Twenty

O n Monday, March second, Sirena, CL and I drove the two-hundred and seventy miles round trip down to Columbia, S.C. to see Dr. Smith. Of course I was on pins and needles the whole time; I was so scared of what he was going to tell me plus the fact that I was really worried about what damage that tumor was causing to all of the organs in my body. As wonderful as Dr. Smith was you have to realize that there is nothing as devastating as knowing you face an uncertain future with scheduled surgery and then follow-up chemo-therapy so all of these things were flitting through my mind all during that exam. But after his examination, Dr. Smith’s first words were absolutely wonderful for all of us to hear. “Mrs. Witmore I believe that this is treatable and we’re going to do the surgery as soon as possible. I can move this mass with my hands so that means that none of your vital organs are compromised by this tumor. I feel sure that I can help you and I certainly will.” That was the best news any of us had heard so far and to top off this good news when I came out of his office, my wonderful Aunt Margaret and her daughter, Gail, met us there to hear the news. Then we were all able to meet another daughter, Delores, for lunch together; finally the Witmore family was able to celebrate some good news together. My cancer was operable so we had a lot to celebrate. CL was so ive through everything. He was always convinced that I was going to be all right; when I felt weak and uncertain about the future, he was the strong, sure one. He kept saying that I was going to be all right. When my faith slowed down, he brought me back up; he was determined that I was going to be okay so finally I realized that I couldn’t let him down. I just had to beat this. I had to get better for him; his love actually demanded it. From the very first, he was absolutely certain that I would come through this ordeal with flying colors because he intended to love me through it all!

On Wednesday I made a trip to Walmart. I had to pick up medical supplies in preparation for the surgery; I would have to do that Thursday night before I could have the surgery on Friday morning. Now, let me tell you some very true, even ugly facts…the preparation for that surgery turned out to be much worse than the actual operation itself. I have to be a little graphic here because the pills you have to take cramp your stomach horribly and after that the Fleets enemas had to be istered twice; and they weren’t any fun at all. I assure you that procedure was the absolute pits! Early the next morning on March sixth, CL drove me down to Columbia for ission to Palmetto Richland Health Hospital. From the first minute of ission to my actual discharge, that staff and those doctors and nurses there were absolutely wonderful to us. They settled our fears, even relieved most of all those anxious moments when they tried to make both of us as comfortable as humanly possible.

I soon found out that family can certainly be depended on. After I was prepped for surgery while CL and I waited for the results from the lab on my blood work, the visitors started coming in to give CL during my operation. Chuck, Sally, Granny, Chaz and Sherry were all there to kiss and hug me before I was taken down into that operating room. I hugged every one of them goodbye before I was rolled away on the stretcher. CL walked along beside me holding tightly to my hand all the way down that long hall down to those double swinging doors. His wonderful, beloved face was the last thing I saw when I closed my eyes. He told me that he would be the very first person I saw when I opened my eyes again in the recovery room hours later. I the harsh, bright lights in that operating room over my head as well as the firm placement of that oxygen mask on my face. I felt tender hands touching mine then I heard soft voices telling me that everything was going to be all right and that it would be over very soon; then they instructed me to breathe deeply and count backward from one hundred. I got to ninety-six then I absolutely nothing else.

Later when I woke up in recovery, as he had promised, CL was right there holding my hand. He told me that Aunt Margaret along with my cousins, Jenny and Gail, were also nearby and they all had been able to hear Dr. Smith’s report when he finished the surgery. The awful pain I was experiencing at that time certainly took a back seat to the wonderful, welcome news CL told me. As he talked, grateful tears filled my eyes…Dr. Smith had been able to remove the mass in its entirety, leaving only small residual particles along my abdominal wall, my liver and under the diaphragm. I did have Stage four cancer of the stomach but he had performed a total hysterectomy. Another doctor had to be brought in to remove my gall bladder then assisted him when the tumor mass started crumbling in his hands; but the majority of the cancer had been removed during the process. There were no major organs affected and the chemo-therapy treatments would hopefully take care of the rest of the cancer cells, which Dr. Smith called little footprints. Our son, Chuck, had taken Sally, Granny and the two children back home to Laurinburg, but they had all been there to hear the good news from Dr. Smith before they left. They knew that everything was going to be all right. I had to regain my strength and I had months of chemo-therapy still ahead of me, but the wonderful part of it all was that I was being promised that I would have a tomorrow. Then I was moved up to the ICU unit. I was so groggy that I don’t going upstairs, but when I opened my eyes again, CL was right there holding my hand just smiling his familiar, contagious grin. In case I didn’t , he again told me in that wonderful voice of his that I was going to be all right. Then my brother, Glenn, walked in. He told me that two of my sisters, Dianne and Karen, as well as our other brother, Lynn, were also on their way to Columbia to visit me. I would be able to see them first thing the next morning.

Most of that Saturday is still a blur to me. I my sisters and brothers coming in briefly with CL. I was so happy to see them…they were smiling when they hugged me; but unfortunately, I was in so much pain that I had to keep hitting the button for another burst of the Morphine pain medication so I kept drifting off while they were there.

Later that afternoon I was moved down to a step-down unit so my sisters and brothers along with CL were able to come in and stay for longer periods of time to visit with me. Late that afternoon, Glenn, Dianne and Karen came back in to see me; they informed me that our brother, Lynn, had to be itted to the Veterans Hospital right there in Columbia that afternoon. His blood pressure had sky-rocketed so he had to stay overnight for treatment. Even though it hurt my incision I had to laugh at some of the things our brother, Lynn, had related to the female doctor over at the VA Hospital. He is so funny at times and there is no governor on his mouth. He says whatever pops into his head regardless of who is around to hear him. Glenn and my sisters had stayed in a nearby motel room that Friday night but they had to go back to their homes late Saturday evening so CL stayed at the hospital right there in my room with me every single night while I was there. On Sunday, Chuck, Sirena, Granny, Chaz and Sherry came back to see me along with Aunt Margaret and my cousin, Delores. On Monday, Kevin, Marie and their three children, Claire, Lance and Emma visited me. I asked Kevin to pick up a heating pad because I thought that it would diminish some of the pains in my stomach which he did. They all stayed until the children grew hungry so they took them out to get something to eat. While they were gone, CL’s cousin, Ross Keith, came in. I was delighted to have so many visitors coming in to help me get my mind off my pain. Aunt Margaret and her youngest daughter, Jenny, came to see me also bringing a gift bag with a lot of goodies and plenty of loving cheer. Later that evening, my temperature shot up drastically; when the nurse came in to check my staples and stitches she realized I had a heating pad on my stomach. She said that the heat of that pad against my metal staples was the reason my temperature was elevated. She took it off then gave me some medication to reduce the fever; after about an hour my fever was almost gone. Don’t let anyone tell you that it is going to be easy to get over being cut from just below your chest, down the middle of your abdomen all the way below your belly button, because it’s not. In the very beginning, the stitches and staples hurt then they pull every single time you try to move; then just when you think you

just might be improving and actually feel a little better, those same stitches and staples start itching then you just start hurting all over again. On Wednesday a good friend, Pat Willis, from the Baptist Church, came in to visit bringing a gift also; both CL and I enjoyed talking to her that afternoon. On Thursday, Dr. Smith informed me that if all the blood tests and lab work came back without any problems that morning, I would be able to go home later that day. Of course that statement made both CL and me very happy, and then the discharge from the hospital was fairly easy. The trip home to North Carolina in CL’s truck was also relatively easy. The front seat was comfortable and I was surrounded by pillows; I also had one to hold in my lap to protect my incisions if he had to stop the truck real fast. Sally and my sweet Sherry were both waiting at our house for me when we drove up. They welcomed me back with a slew of many get-well and welcome home balloons which stayed beautiful for the next several weeks. Friday and Saturday were pretty easy days with family in and out, bringing in food and good wishes, cheering me up with their presence.

On Sunday, Kevin and his family came to visit along with my sister, Dianne. It was really great to see everyone again. Then on Monday, the get-well cards with many prayers started arriving in the mail; more and more cards were delivered every single day. The following week I was still recuperating but neighbors and friends from Church started bringing in cakes and goodies and even complete meals. And the mailman brought more cards during that day as well. These well-wishing cards arrived daily with everyone’s prayers and news that church groups everywhere had placed me on their prayer lists. On Friday, March twentieth, CL took me back to Columbia, S.C. to have my stitches removed. Dr. Smith checked me over thoroughly; he said that I was doing great so he was able to release me for follow-up here in Laurinburg at the

Cancer Center with Dr. Kelvin Raybon. Dr. Smith did inform me that cancer cells fed on sugar so I needed to limit my intake of sweets. He laughed when he said that, because then he told me, that if he ever developed any type of cancer, he would just have to die because he would never be able to give up his sweet Southern tea! On Saturday, my wonderful sisters, Karen, Margaret and Dianne came back; they brought delicious chicken wings and pizza for our lunch. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day so we had a wonderful visit together that afternoon out on our deck while we talked and enjoyed the food. On Tuesday, March twenty-fourth, I had a checkup scheduled with Dr. Raybon and he scheduled me for another cat scan on Wednesday. After he went over the results of that scan he was sure he could start the chemo sessions for me immediately. The first of six planned chemo-therapy treatments began that Thursday, March twenty-sixth. After that I was scheduled to have a treatment every twenty-one days. He recommended that I have a prescription filled for Compazine which should help with the nausea. He said if I started taking it right before chemo for a day or so afterward, I might not suffer from the horrible bouts of nausea that usually cause so many cancer patients so much misery.

Also I had to return to the Walmart store that afternoon to pick up a prescription for Decadron and I would have to take five tablets every night before the chemo and then five more tablets the next morning first thing so the chemo could be istered. This regimen would always be required before each chemo therapy session could even begin. On Wednesday of that week, I had to go to Belks to purchase some new clothes. I had lost a lot of weight and my clothes just didn’t fit any longer. The best part of everything that had happened to me was that I was skinny once again and had to purchase a new wardrobe. The next morning I was a little apprehensive about the whole procedure awaiting me. CL was his wonderful calm self; he talked about simple nothings as he drove

me there. I knew that he was just trying to get my mind off what was going to happen to me so I tried to stem all my fears as I put on a brave face for everyone.

They called me back at eight-thirty a.m. that morning on March twenty-sixth; for the next hour and half, I was given the preliminary IV fluids before the chemo was even started. Also Benadryl, Compazine and more Decadron were istered. The first segment of chemo lasted for three hours; then this was followed by a two-hour segment as well. After that the IV fluids were istered which would flush the chemo out of my veins. Of course, CL was right there by my side all day, infusing me with his energy as he encouraged me with his love and as well as the comfort of his warm hands holding mine…he always felt so much warmer than me…I’m coldblooded and freeze sometimes even during the summer months. After chemo, I was instructed to take my temperature often then report any change or elevation to the nurses at the Cancer Center. I experienced no problems at all following the first treatment until that Friday evening around six o’clock. Then I started running a high fever. I felt nauseous and was generally so fatigued that I could hardly lift my head off the pillow; after that the awful muscle pains and leg cramps started down the front of my legs which created even more misery. Since the Cancer Center was closed by then, I called Sirena and reported to her what was happening. Neither CL nor I knew exactly what to do. Since she had also gone through this with her grandmother, she informed me to force fluids then take Ibuprofen every three to four hours. I used a heating pad on my legs and that seemed to help those pains just a little but because I felt nauseous I couldn’t eat anything at all but a little bit of orange sherbet. Saturday was more of the same; that awful lethargy settled in, with every single bone in my legs aching something fierce. I had no energy whatsoever. I have never been so tired in my whole life, but I was actually able to control some of the nausea with the doses of Compazine. I alternated that with the Ibuprofen for the muscle aches and pains.

CL kept going to the store bringing me orange popsicles and orange sherbet, which I was able to enjoy. They tasted better than anything else I had tried to eat. I also kept forcing fluids so I could keep my body well hydrated.

Sunday was still a little painful but Dianne and Samantha came to visit and really helped me get through that long afternoon. Then when I woke up on Monday morning, I was feeling much, much better. That’s the moment I realized that I would be able to put up with three or four really bad days out of every twenty-one, if that was what it would take to get rid of the cancer cells invading my body…then the pains after chemo would be worth it. I something I’d read that Max Lucado wrote:

“One thing no one can take away from you is your faith!”

I can tell you that CL and I both had faith in abundance. He never doubted for a minute that I would survive. Because he was so sure, I became determined to never give up either…just like with my writing; no matter how many rejection slips I had received in the beginning, I was determined to keep on trying to be a published writer until someone somewhere would take a chance on me with my books. The next few days were great. I had more visitors and more dinners brought in to us. By now my appetite was slowly returning so I could enjoy tasting different foods once again. Also, the mailman brought so many get-well cards every day that I was able to stay quite cheerful. Kevin and Marie came often with their family bringing meals that we all enjoyed together. Sally and Sirena also were often there bringing food for all of us to enjoy. My friend, Teresa, was often a very welcome visitor and since she was a nurse, she could keep me well informed medically.

I had another check-up with Dr. Raybon that Monday on April second and received a good report. I had gained two pounds from the week before and he said that was a good sign. A healthy body gains weight so that really made me feel a little better. On Saturday, Margaret, Dianne and Karen came back bringing pizza, salad and chicken wings again from Steve’s Restaurant in Hamlet.

It was such a beautiful day that we sat outside on the deck again underneath the umbrella enjoying the sunshine and visiting with each other. The next week was uneventful except that get-well wishes came to me through cards, visitors and telephone calls. I felt well enough to get back on my computer so I was able to read the get-well emails also and enjoy more visits from friends; then Kevin and Chuck, along with their families came; those visits certainly kept me in very good spirits. On Wednesday, Chris flew in from Rhode Island to visit with us. CL picked him up at the airport in Charlotte. I couldn’t ride up there with him to the airport because I had to return to Dr. Raybon’s office for more blood work that morning. My second chemo session was scheduled for the next day which was the sixteenth of April, and the same procedure was again followed, but this time while I was having the chemo Chris also came in to keep me company along with CL. They certainly helped me all through the treatment so the hours ed very quickly with Chris so close by. They went to the cafeteria together and after their lunch, they brought a delicious sandwich back into the unit for my lunch. On Friday afternoon, Chris’ friend, Keeley Dunn, came to see me and spend all afternoon with Chris. The family teases Keeley every time he visits because since he graduated from high school, he just doesn’t get a chance to come around visiting us much except when Chris is actually home. So Sally was the one who nicknamed Keeley as ‘he who only comes around when Chris comes home!’ Keeley had always been a welcome visitor in our home during their high school and college years and it was great to see him again.

They worked in the yard until dark cutting down trees and clearing up brush; they were able to get rid of a lot of the clutter out in the grove of trees next to our house, then raked the leaves up into a pile for burning. When they had finished cleaning up, it looked like we had a pretty park over on that side of the house. Later on, we tried to roast marshmallows over the bonfire but it was difficult because the fire was too hot for us to get very close. This time when Friday night came and went, I didn’t get sick or feel bad at all so I was ecstatic. I would be able to enjoy Chris’s visit that whole weekend without being sick or having to go back to bed. On Saturday, Karen, Margaret and Dianne returned, bringing more salad, pizza and chicken wings for our lunch. We sat outside on the deck once more; then our brother, Lynn, also came so we all had a wonderful visit and enjoyed being together again. Chris had to return to Liz and Eli in Rhode Island on Sunday. CL drove him back to the airport. I enjoyed myself the entire weekend because I was not sick at all, but unfortunately on Monday, my hair started falling out in big clumps. That was really a bummer! It is a real bad experience to go to bed with your hair on your head at night and then you wake up with it on your pillow the next morning. Lucky for me, Sally and I had already purchased a wig that looked the same as my hair so I had it ready to place on my head before anyone noticed the hair loss. I had always been very proud of my hair; it was black and I had never had to color it. Even my hairdresser hadn’t believed the color was real until she started cutting it and giving me permanents years ago. But now, my crowning glory was slowly leaving me. I had heard one of the women I met during our chemo sessions say that when hers first started falling out, she just went ahead and shaved her head but I didn’t want to do that. Instead, I just put the wig cap on, wore my wig and at night when I took it off, I just dumped the hair that had come loose during the day into the trash can before I put on a sleep cap. I tried not to ever look into the mirror when I wasn’t wearing my wig. Once had been enough for me to realize that I didn’t want to go around for the rest of my life without any hair on top of my head…especially when I thought I looked like

Elmer Fudd! I know that vanity is something that we should be very careful about having, but I didn’t feel that the Lord would hold it against me because I was sad about losing all my hair. After all, he was the one who gave it to me in the first place. On Monday evening, my brother Glenn and his wife Teena, dropped by to see me and brought us supper. We enjoyed delicious chicken and hamburgers again from Steve’s in Hamlet. On Tuesday of that week I was excited when Ann and Steve O’Neal came visiting, bringing along baked goodies and a beautiful green hanging basket. It was so good to see both of them again. We had all been really good friends for years. CL had actually worked with Steve and his father for years. He always enjoyed driving the grain truck for Steve and his father when the grain was ready to be harvested. In fact, I heard CL say several times that he felt like Steve was the brother he never had. The following week was still basically the same with visits from neighbors and loved ones. But this time when the mailman came those dreaded medical bills started rolling in along with the get-well cards. On Thursday, April twenty-fourth I went back to the Cancer Center for a checkup. I had gained three pounds this time and my blood work was good. On Tuesday of the next week, Glenn and Teena came back through Laurinburg to visit with us before they returned to Roanoke. That afternoon I called Dr. Raybon asking him if there was any way we could reschedule my next chemo session for the Monday after Mother’s Day instead of the Thursday before so I would be able to go with CL down to the Darlington racetrack to camp out with Chuck and Sirena along with our very good friends, Allison, her son Steven, and her husband, Danny Blankenship. They also loved to attend the race on Saturday night in Darlington. The doctor said that it would be okay with him to switch my chemo appointment. He arranged for me to return to his office on Thursday, May seventh for the necessary blood work. When Dr. Raybon examined me, he

looked at me kind of funny. I asked him if he had found something wrong but he just shook his head and said: “No, but I thought you would have lost your hair by now.” I laughed and told him that I had lost it all about two weeks before, but we had been able to purchase a wig that looked like my hair before I lost it so I had started wearing it before anyone noticed. He said that was a very smart thing to do. Then he said that since my exam was fine that if everything turned out all right with the blood work, they would reschedule the chemo for the Monday after we returned home from the racetrack, which would be on May eleventh. Thankfully the doctors, nurses and office staff at the Cancer Center always made you feel so normal and okay that you were never nervous going in after your first visit. They always treated you like a friend instead of a patient so you felt friendship and love from them instead of stress of any kind.

We left that Friday morning for Darlington, S.C. to camp out for the weekend. I was really looking forward to getting away for a few days. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to climb all those steps up to our seats in the grandstands so Chuck was able to sell my race ticket for me. You can’t ever give up! You have to get through each and every day with a firm determination. You have family who depend on you. You have loved ones that you love so much that of course you don’t want to leave them…so you fight your battles with as much strength as you have but you have to fight as long as you are able; you have to struggle daily to keep from losing faith.

On some of the bad days, I it I came close to losing that faith, but CL pulled me through; he assured me all along that everything was going to be okay. He said he intended to love me through the whole ordeal. When I wanted to give up, he gave me the strength to go on; when my resolve dropped to its lowest point, CL pulled me right up again…he was so much stronger than I! And he was always so loving and optimistic. He was a wonderful husband and I wouldn’t

trade him for the world. I can only say that I hope that other women out there, who are going through the same trials as I am experiencing, are fortunate enough to experience that kind of love from their men that I received from CL. His spirit was always awesome! He was so sure that I was going to survive the cancer; I knew that if I did, it would certainly be because of his unbelievable faith and ability to see the best in every single thing that was happening to us. You have to realize that there is someone bigger than you controlling your destiny and what is going on in your life. That is the worst part about developing cancer. You have no control over what is happening to your body. You can’t just twitch your nose and wish it away no matter how much you might want to. But if you stay determined to get through each and every day, I firmly believe you can make it; things will all work out for the best. You just have to make up your mind that you’re going to get through the difficult days to the very best of your ability. That’s really all you can do! You must live those days as best as you can for as long you live. I can tell you from first hand experience that prayer can absolutely work miracles! All of us really had a good time in Darlington camping out that weekend, cooking outside on the grill for all our meals. When it came time on Saturday evening to go to the race track, I was so glad that I made plans not to go, because I knew that I would not have been able to climb all those flights of stairs up to our seats on the high rows. I could barely walk around the campsite without tiring. I was able to watch a little of the race with Paul’s family next door on his big T.V. screen before I returned to our campfire where I listened to the rest of the race on a small radio at the campsite. Soon that sweet Steven came back from the race to sit with me because he said he was worried about me! He was such a joy to be around; he has always seemed much older than his young age. When we returned home that Sunday afternoon, Kevin, Marie and the three children came to visit us for Mother’s Day and I was glad to see them again. On Monday I had my third chemo session. Again, CL was with me every step of

the way. Riding home afterward, I kept telling myself that now I was halfway through with my chemo sessions; maybe I could breathe a little easier now… with only three more sessions to go…surely I could make it through with flying colors! But on Tuesday, I started feeling bad again. For two days, I had a bad case of constipation. I started taking my medicine to keep the nausea at bay and help the situation; then the opposite happened. I spent the majority of the next two days in the bathroom suffering with diarrhea and intermittent bouts of nausea; then I completely lost my appetite again. When the nausea started this time, I took the Compazine to combat it somewhat. When the stomach pains and chills started, I wrapped up in a blanket and turned on my heating pad. When the awful leg cramps began again, I took Ibuprofen for the pain then used another heating pad which seemed to relieve my leg pains somewhat. When my eyelashes started falling out, I still used eye shadow and painted the edge of my lids with an eyeliner and mascara. When the eyebrows also went away, I used an eyebrow pencil then and just painted them on. Sometimes you feel like you just can’t go on…during those times I was completely overcome with grief and despair, but my loving husband, CL, dried my tears and held me close until I calmed down again. And my brothers, sisters, our sons, along with their wives came often, always bringing in love and meals because I really didn’t feel like fixing them. And those wonderful grandchildren always came in with smiles and unending love to cheer me with their exuberant presence. Although I had lost both of my parents as well as my father-in-law, I was lucky to have been the oldest of six and the rest of our family was thriving so they offered me a lot of encouragement. It was great that I still had plenty of relatives to visit me often. They certainly did a lot to keep my spirits up. It was the of those loved ones who really helped me get through the worst of everything. Three chemo sessions were now behind me; I only had three more to get through, so I hoped I didn’t have to worry so much now. But at night when everyone else went home, CL was the one I leaned on; he was

my rock; he held me when I cried; he soothed and comforted me when I was in pain. He waited on me and brought me food when I didn’t feel like getting up off the couch. Our love just grew deeper during this very trying time. If I woke up in pain during the night and had to walk around to get rid of the cramps in my legs, CL walked with me and held me close. When I grew weak, he just seemed to grow even stronger; his shoulder was always available for me to lean against…in his arms I always felt so safe and secure. But whenever the bouts of pain I experienced caused my faith to waver, his never did. He was determined to love me through all the bad times no matter how many they turned out to be. He brought me a glass of water and the pain pills when I needed them; when I couldn’t sleep at night he listened to me, letting me talk, trying his best to keep me calm and oriented. When I walked the floor with the unbearable pain in both of my legs, he was right there beside me, commiserating with me, always loving me, making sure that I didn’t stumble or fall. He kept assuring me that things would get better and I was going to be just fine. He didn’t care about my eyelashes falling out or my painted eyebrows; he didn’t care if I had to wear a wig, he loved me in spite of it all. Regaining your strength after a session of chemo is not ever easy; you have to push yourself to keep trying to move your extremities; you have to struggle to increase your stamina even when you feel so low you don’t know where the strength to take the next step is going to come from. You are tired all the time and have no energy whatsoever. I always said that I would pay someone one hundred dollars to give me some of their energy but, of course, that was impossible. But I was so thankful for the love from my brothers and sisters and so many friends. My family means everything to me! I would not trade my three sons and the forty years of marriage to CL for all the money in the world.

Chapter Twenty-One

T he next week I went back to visit Dr. Raybon at the Cancer Center for more blood work. Now I had lost the three pounds I’d gained earlier but I was feeling better; also since my appetite was slowly returning, I didn’t worry too much about the weight loss. I was pretty sure that I would be able to gain them back without much trouble. Since May, 2009 would be the fortieth anniversary of our engagement (CL had given me my diamond engagement ring on my birthday, May second back in 1969) we decided to take a trip up to Rhode Island to visit Chris, Liz and sweet little Eli to celebrate. They were now living in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. We wanted to celebrate our anniversary early this year with Chris and his family. Instead of giving presents to each other later in the year, we purchased two round-trip airline tickets up to Boston. I arranged for Sally to keep Sherry and Chaz for us on the school days while we were gone. Unfortunately, we purchased those airline tickets on line and a day or so after buying the tickets our computer became swamped with several of those nasty viruses. We had to purchase a virus protector through Dell computers to get back into our system, but we still lost everything in the computer that we had not backed up, including all my email addresses. Thankfully were able to straighten it out before we left on our trip. We had made arrangements to fly from Charlotte to Boston on Friday, May twenty-second then stay for about eleven days with them. We had to sit out on the tarmac in Charlotte for almost an hour that evening before taking off. We were finally able to leave the Charlotte airport a few minutes after six p.m. The flight was nonstop and very enjoyable but when we arrived in Boston, we had to fly around that airport for almost another hour until a runway was cleared for landing. Chris was patiently waiting for us. I met him outside while CL waited inside for

our bags. Liz and Chris had planned a surprise for us so Chris asked me to guess what it was on our way to their house. I guessed that they were going to give us another grandchild but he was quick to tell me that was not the surprise at all. The surprise was actually a three day trip up the coast to Maine. They had rented a quaint little cabin on a beautiful lake in Booth Bay Harbor. It turned out to be a wonderful trip up there…because neither CL nor I had ever visited the state of Maine before. We had a wonderful excursion up there with Chris, Liz and Eli. Except for our camping trips to Darlington and up to Yosemite, neither CL nor I had spent any time in such a charming little cabin by a lake so we really enjoyed those peaceful, idyllic days with them. The days were sunny and nice even though after the sun went down, the nights turned cold and we had to build a fire in the fireplace but our beds were comfortable, cozy and warm. The next day we hiked through the woods looking over beautiful forests and deep gorges and ravines leading down into the water which you could see from almost every angle. The gorge was huge with big rocks and boulders in evidence everywhere. The notices printed there said that the rocks there were some of the oldest rocks than you could find anywhere else in the state. As we hiked, Chris easily carried Eli in a backpack and he was able to see everything along with us. Then we toured the little town of Booth Bay Harbor. There was a Fisherman’s Wharf there similar to the one we had visited out in San Francisco. The town itself reminded us of the tourist attractions we have over in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. We ate five dollar lobsters as well as plenty of the delicious clam chowder during that weekend. Chris, Liz and Eli took us out to Kennebunkport before we left Maine and we had a wonderful time. We were able to see the first President Bush’s summer home. It was gorgeous and we really enjoyed all of the scenery up there. In fact, I would have been perfectly content with the gorgeous house on the bay where President Bush’s security force lived.

All that weekend we walked, we hiked, and we shopped in quaint little shops which could be found everywhere on the popular Maine coast. I guess I pushed myself much too hard that weekend. Somehow during the climb up to the cabin or on the hike through the woods, I strained myself, pulling some muscles in the bottom of my stomach. For two days or so when we returned to Pawtucket, I had to hang around the house until the muscles stopped hurting so much. Although some aches and pains remained during the last couple of days we were there, I did start feeling a lot better. The food was wonderful. The meals Chris cooked as well as the ones we had each time we went out to eat were delicious. On Friday, Chris, Liz and Eli took us out to a winery and we really enjoyed touring through all the rooms there, seeing how the red and white wines are made. Then we looked at all the grape vines in the fields where they gathered the grapes to make both the white and red wines that were being sold at the vineyard. CL also bought me a beautiful heavy tote bag with Sakonnet Vineyards printed on the outside. On Saturday, we went back up to Newport for a second visit. We walked the cliff walk again enjoying those beautiful houses and everything else we saw around us. We ate outside overlooking the water at the Deck Restaurant at the Harbor before returning to Pawtucket late that afternoon. Chris and Liz had planned a BBQ dinner that Saturday evening. There were a lot of their friends present and the food was great but the biggest hit of all were those Pina coladas Chris keep turning out in his blender. He made about three gallons during the course of the evening. CL and I really enjoyed them as well as all of Chris and Liz’s friends who came over to party with us. On Sunday we woke up pretty early because we had a noon flight out of Boston. CL was feeling more than just a little bit bad! He kept looking for that Jamaican rum man that had slept on his head the night before. Chris kept teasing him about his run-in with too much Jamaican rum and CL took it all in stride.

Before heading out to the airport, we walked around the famous Boston Harbor for the first time. CL performed his patriotic duty by dropping tea into the water there to protest our high taxes like the tea drinkers centuries before. Chris and Liz kept looking around for one of the harbor police to catch us then give CL a ticket for littering the bay, but we were lucky. Besides, I assure you we saw a lot of things floating there in that water that looked a lot worse than CL’s tea leaves. When it was time to go, both CL and I hated to leave Chris and his family, but he assured us that he would see us for a week or so later that summer. He had been hired as a Professor to teach in the Classics Department at Texas Tech in Lubbock, Texas so they planned to drive through North Carolina on their way south. We had a wonderful flight from Boston to New York. We met a celebrity on that flight from Boston. It was Michael Knight who played Tad Martin on the All My Children soap opera on television for years. He was just as handsome in person as he is on the program, but I didn’t realize how tall and powerfully built he was until I actually met him. When I told him that AMC was my favorite soap opera and he was my favorite actor on the show, he said that I had made his day! When he shook hands with me holding it for another minute or so, he made my day! He had to stand in line right beside my seat while he waited for the engers in front of him to store their carry-on luggage into the rack overhead so we were able to talk for several minutes. I introduced him to CL. Michael wanted to know if we were going to New York to shop. I laughed and told him ‘no’ that we were flying back to Charlotte so we could return to our home in North Carolina. Michael informed me then that he owned a house down at Charleston, S.C. and he loved southern girls. CL told him that I probably would not wash the hand he held for at least three days. He laughed and walked on back to his seat but not before I managed to collect his autograph. The flight from JFK to Charlotte was completely uneventful. We didn’t see another celebrity anywhere but when we went out to the parking lot at the airport, there was no one manning the booths there so we didn’t have anyone to give our parking ticket to or even find an attendant we could pay for the days we had parked there.

When we left the airport, CL drove us to the K & W cafeteria for supper before driving us back to Laurinburg.

On Monday, June first I went back to the Cancer Center for my fourth chemo treatment. It was then that Dr. Raybon informed me that he found a hernia which had developed underneath the scar tissue left by the incisions where I had an appendectomy, those C-sections then the surgery to remove my cancer back in March. Dr. Raybon said that I might have caused it when I strained myself climbing up and down that gorge while we were up in Maine; he cautioned me not to lift anything weighing more than fifteen pounds or do anything really strenuous. He did not recommend surgery as long as it was not painful at all; when you develop a hernia because you’ve had too many surgeries chances are it could come back again even after having the surgery to remove it. His advice was that we would just continue to monitor it unless it started causing problems, so that’s what I agreed was the best thing to do. I didn’t start feeling bad this time until Wednesday of that week. Had three really bad days before feeling better on Saturday; I was back to my old self by Sunday so CL and I both attended Sunday School and Church. CL had been attending all along but I had remained home. It was good to get back into our old routine to worship God with our fellow church-goers. I had missed so many Sundays during the weeks I felt so bad after chemo and I was so grateful to feel well enough to attend church again. I didn’t have to go back to the doctor again until June tenth for more blood work. I was scheduled at that time for my next chemo session on June twenty-second. They ordered even more blood work. CL sat with me in the room waiting for the preliminary results. When they came back, we were informed that my platelets were too low so they would not be able to continue with this chemo session until I was able to bring my blood count back up to a normal range. Dr. Raybon cautioned me about taking Ibuprofen and aspirin, suggesting that I take only Tylenol products for the next few weeks. Then they would check my blood again at that time; maybe then I could have the chemo treatment on June twenty-ninth. Meanwhile Dr. Raybon wanted me to have another cat scan at

Scotland Memorial Hospital and it was scheduled for June twenty-fourth. As I’ve said before it is very humbling to be told that you have an incurable disease but don’t get me wrong…you can never give up. Cancer can be controlled but right now there is no definite cure. You are well aware that even when you’re lucky enough to go into remission that horrible disease can come back to attack you somewhere else again. Just vow to be a survivor! Don’t let anything get you down. Now, all during this time that summer, I was still keeping four year old Sherry and five year old Chaz every day until five so Chuck and Sirena could work. I can truthfully tell you that as good as those children were for me, there were days I did not even feel like getting out of bed; I would never have been able to handle the children at all if CL had not been right there by my side helping me to discipline them if they needed it. He was always there so he was a wonderful comfort for them when they were sad as well as being the solid rock that I leaned on constantly. Also there were many days when I felt so bad that I actually cried; then those children became sad; they cried right along with me. They were both always so sweet but Chaz had a wonderful saying…when he saw the tears in my eyes, he would come to me and say: “Gan-ma needs a hug”. Then he’d hug me real tight. They were both such a joy and a comfort to me; they really helped me get through some of the roughest days of my life. I went back to the Cancer Center on Monday, June twenty-ninth. Dr. Raybon said that he was disappointed that all my cancer cells had not disappeared, so he was going to have to order two more chemo sessions after all, which would bring the total to eight instead of the six originally planned. That was a complete letdown but I tried to not be devastated and scared all over once more. Again it was my wonderful husband who kept the faith. He would not allow me to be upset at all; he was enthusiastic; he told me that he knew I was going to be all right; things were going right along as God had planned; he knew that I’d be much better the next time I went in for a checkup. He refused to allow me to lose any hope; he kept encouraging me, telling me that soon I would be feeling much, much better. I was very despondent but he would not allow my faith to falter; he was so sure that I was going to be fine in the long run.

The sweet nurses at the Cancer Center were absolutely wonderful; Jane Williams was so caring, always enthusiastic as she greeted us each time with a big smile. Mary Lopez, the Social Worker, was always so very helpful every time I needed to talk to her. Even the girls up at the front desk were wonderful to me as well as to all of the other patients. The entire staff made you feel special; it felt good just to be there, even when you knew that you were one of their patients living completely on the edge…they made things so much easier for you. Dr. Raybon went ahead and had them start my fifth chemo session the morning of June twenty-ninth but he wanted me to return to the Cancer Center on Tuesday, June thirtieth for a Neulasta injection because of my low CBC count. Now, that shot hurt! The nurses had never hurt me before when they drew blood or actually started the injections in preparation for the chemo, but that Neulasta shot was very painful; it really burned for a long time. Needless to say, I was very sick for the next four days. No nausea, but I experienced really even worse aches and pains throughout my body. I felt exactly like I had the old-timey flu or had been run over by a Mack Truck. The cramps in my legs were really rough and the Tylenol was never as effective as the Ibuprofen had been, but a heating pad always seemed to help ease the pain somewhat. My energy level hit the very bottom. I felt worse then than at any time during my treatments. I was so weak that it was hard to even get out of bed every morning but I knew I had to, so with CL’s help, I rallied; I had to get up each day so I could be ready at eight every morning for Sirena to bring Chaz and Sherry over for that day. More blood work was ordered on July eighth and my CBC/Hemoglobin results were much better so the next chemo session was scheduled for July twentieth which was number six; I thought I would be through with the chemo after that session, but Dr. Raybon had already informed us earlier that he wanted me to have at least two more rounds of chemo; he sincerely hoped that I would not have to have more than the scheduled eight, but this cancer was proving to be very stubborn after all; it was not going away as fast as any of us had hoped. Of course right about then, my morale dropped each time we ran into another snag; once again I knew that I had to continue to fight with everything in me if I was going to survive this horrible ordeal. Unfortunately, after the chemo on the twentieth, I had to have another Neulasta

injection on July twenty-first. I really dreaded that shot because I knew that I would suffer through five more agonizing days of pain and total uneasiness; as much as I hated to depend on more pills. I knew I would have to. I needed those pain medications as well the continued use of those heating pads to help me combat the aches in all my limbs as well as those in my back to even be able to sleep at night. I know that I could never have gotten through those long horrible days and nights during the last two weeks of July if I had not had CL there right by my side. He was the one who helped me every step of the way. He refused to let me give up at all. He was always so upbeat and utterly sure of himself. I found myself questioning fate every once in while, but CL seemed so determined and positive that the worst of this ordeal was behind both of us. He kept telling me that we had a lot to look forward to and hope for in the future. Because of his encouragement and his steadfast undying love and faith, I was able to go on; I managed to get through some of the very worst days with joy in my heart and a smile on my face. It seemed that both of us depended on each other so much that as long as we were together, I felt as though I could handle anything. We had the wonderful love of our sons and their wives and because of that we were able to pray together and we both held on to the hope that everything would soon improve.

Chapter Twenty-Two

S lowly through the last two weeks of July I began to feel much better. When I went back to the Cancer Center on July twenty-ninth my blood work had indeed improved drastically. Another cat scan was scheduled for August sixth. I was an old hand at this by now. I would check into the Radiology Department with my paper work and a current list of my medications. The nice technicians would come lead me into that room once more. I would answer all the routine questions again before I was placed on the hard table in that really cold room once more. As usual, I asked for a warm blanket before being maneuvered into that round machine (laughingly I called the torture chamber) although it is there to help the patients like me. But you have to lie on that table very still and have that liquid injection inserted into your arm. You’ve already had to drink two whole bottles of that terrible tasting white medicine which is really awful before you ever get there. You can’t have anything to eat or drink after midnight the night before except for that chalk liquid so I’ve always been a little cranky and out of sorts when I can’t get my first-thing-in-the- morning jolt of caffeine with a cup of coffee. But the actual procedure is not really painful. It does not take long at all unless they have to reshoot some of the films…that medicine they inject in your veins warms your entire body from your head to your toes; you actually feel light as a feather…almost like you’re floating and totally without substance. The nurses and attendants there in the radiation room are always so nice and accommodating. They are very good about helping each patient through every single difficult procedure. I went back to see Dr. Raybon at the Cancer Center for an appointment and the scheduled seventh chemo session on August tenth. Again we were disappointed that all the cancer had not dissipated. It was slowly decreasing but not as fast as Dr. Raybon was hoping. I had to go back to the Cancer Center on the eleventh for the painful Neulasta injection; again I had a whole week of feeling really bad when I ached all over;

there were pains in body parts that I didn’t even realize I had until they started hurting. My sleep was very limited some nights so I’d turn on the reading lamp I could attach to a book; that way the light on my side of the bed did not disturb CL. Then I was able to read until I could fall asleep again. I was able to get a lot of reading done during those restless nights, but I wasn’t writing so much right now…it wasn’t my primary goal at this time…I had to focus on getting well! However I had worked on my next murder mystery back during the days following my surgery and those couple of weeks between chemo sessions when I was really feeling great, but lately there hadn’t been many days of really feeling good because of the Neulasta injections. But back in May, I had submitted The Voodoo Doll manuscript to my publisher so I was looking forward to having it come out sometime soon. A few days later, I was reading a book and there was a quote in that book with an old Irish blessing written in it. I read it to CL and we received a lot of hope from the words of that blessing:

‘May love and laughter lighten your days, And warm your heart and home. May good and faithful friends be yours wherever you may roam; May peace and plenty bless your world with joy that long endures; May all life’s ing seasons bring the best to you and yours.’

CL and I did wish for the best outcome from the ordeal we were both experiencing. Blood work was again ordered for me on August nineteenth but it remained virtually the same as before. I had some really bad days during which I struggled to wonder what the future would bring but faith can get you through lots of

impossible difficulties; you just have to find the strength to face the next day. I can truthfully say that during my lowest days, CL was always able to give me so much hope and strength because his faith never wavered. He was sure that I was going to come through all of this with flying colors. As you can tell by the quotes in this book, during the especially hard times in addition to my Bible, I also read a lot of works by Max Lucado. He also said: “God is with you; He is right there with you perhaps even more in crisis than at any other time!” I can assure you that there were times during the year of 2009 when I hit the floor on my knees, both figuratively and physically as I agonized over the difficulties CL and I were facing as a couple. Facing life with cancer is so scary; it becomes more of the focus that takes over your whole demeanor because really they tell you from the very beginning that there is no cure…you might get better with chemo and a lot of other drugs, your hair will grow back, but there is always the awful chance that the cancer will return again. Sometimes it attacks the same place as before or it could settle into another vulnerable spot in your body…then you will be facing that agonizing journey all over again. Maybe you’ll have to experience more surgery, more chemo, along with more disappointments but you will have to continue to fight an impenetrable foe to even be able to face the thought of more pain and despair. Your faith is really tested during those uncertain days. But, as I’ve stated before when my faith wavered and hit its lowest point, CL’s faith and optimism only grew stronger. His strength was always greater than mine. His unbroken determination to pull me through this entire ordeal was the catalyst that made those uncertain days bearable; he actually helped me get through the very worst of everything. Cancer is ongoing; cancer never discriminates; there is no one in the world who will actually be immune from cancer because it can happen to anyone…it has absolutely no respect for age or gender. Everyone will tell you that it is a life long battle…it won’t go away just because you wish it would. All the faith in the world will not cure you unless it is God’s will. The outcome is always up to God Himself and His plan for you. However, I can tell you that the odds of recovery

and remission are in your favor if you believe in the Lord Jesus Christ with all your heart; you have to realize that there is a greater power than you ruling your universe. Every day you face so many struggles; you have to make yourself get up, get dressed and face the world even when pain and disappointment make themselves known because they are constant visitors; when you are facing a serious illness it is a natural phenomenon to second guess your future; no one knows why this horrifying disease attacks some and not others. There are people in all walks of life, at one time or another, who will experience it just like you. Unfortunately, cancer has no respect for the very young or old, whether you’re rich or dirt poor; rock stars, movie stars, millionaires or the destitute…all have an equal chance of being stricken with the same terrifying diagnosis. Some doctors say that everyone is born with cancer cells in their body…but everyone does not have it manifest itself; it just lies dormant for some of the lucky ones and that knowledge certainly keeps you intense. But I personally think that it is the little children who are the most helpless; their suffering is always so pitiful. Sometimes even famous people who have endless bank s suffer just as much as an ordinary person; they are the ones who are able to use every means at their disposal, regardless of the costs, to obtain the very best help anywhere in the world, but unfortunately those means aren’t always successful; they may not fare any better than those with a lot less money in their bank s. It is always in God’s hands when some people survive and others do not. But the good part of it all is there are doctors like Dr. Raybon at the Cancer Center, along with those dedicated nurses, the social workers and the loving personnel in the front office as well as those in the chemo rooms, who will work diligently with you to help you overcome any obstacle. They handle you with kid gloves so you always know that you are in the very best of hands. They have the training and the knowledge to help you get through the ordeal with some dignity and understanding. You realize early on from these dedicated individuals that you are not alone at all; they are there to help you through everything; they give you hope when you want to give up…they are confident that you can manage the days ahead when you feel that you can’t go on. The Cancer Center has a state of the arts technology there; their equipment is

some of the very best. Each employee there handles each case with comion; they care what happens to you even though the patients are on this side of those glass doors looking in. In the long run you are the one who has to understand your emotions and that fragile state of your own body; dealing with them every day is the very first step on the road to recovery. Recovery and remission does not cure cancer, but it certainly makes dealing with the impossible a giant step in the right direction. I’ll be the first to tell you that it will not be easy at all; life never is. None of us have any guarantees about tomorrow. But we must face each and every day with dignity and graciousness as well as with the knowledge that nothing is impossible with God! You are invariably going to face one disappointment after another…but you have to realize that optimism and faith need to be your constant companions; they are very necessary to help you get through each and every day. With CL and the grandchildren always around to cheer me up constantly, I can truthfully say that I was able to get through some of the roughest days with an actual smile on my face. CL was my inspiration. When I wanted to give up, he was strong and convinced me that I could be strong as well. He was always so much help and gave me so much encouragement. Sometimes my faith grew weak and I’d cry for what might happen if I couldn’t beat this cancer but CL was always confident that I would get through this with flying colors. He’d pull me into his arms and told me everything was going to be all right. When you were hugged by CL Witmore you knew you had been hugged. He told me so many times that he would love me through it all. No matter how things turned out, good or bad, he was going to love me through it. Together we would be able to get through anything life threw at us.

After school started again for Sherry and Chaz, they only came in the afternoon after school so I was able to devote my time in the mornings to work on the computer; I started working hard on another book which should be published sometime the next year. My latest mystery, The Voodoo Doll, was actually published on August twenty-

eight, 2009 so I had something else to look forward to besides my own precarious health situation. The first cover by my Design Team was not at all what I was looking for. They had a teddy bear on the front cover so I talked with them at length about what I preferred. The book wasn’t about a toy bear at all…it was about a real doll someone was using to terrorize my heroine. She lived in a house with servants, her husband and his older brother and sister but no one there ever believed her when she told them that she suspected someone was trying to kill her. The Design Team corrected the cover using a small doll in the corner with several pins in her chest so even though the dress was white instead of yellow, I accepted the new design without any further complaint. Even though I was able to focus on the new book, I had setbacks because of my condition. I can tell you from experience that it doesn’t help to dwell on your fears about the future; you’re scared so I can agree that it is not easy to go on when you are so worried about your own health and survival; but I urge everyone to try their very best. I had to have more blood drawn on August thirty-first and the last scheduled chemo session, which was delayed again due to low platelets along with that very low hemoglobin reading again.

Liz and Chris and Eli surprised us with a visit for a few days on their way down to Lubbock. Their furniture was in a moving van and was already on the way to the house they’d purchased in Texas. Then they told us some very good news. They were expecting another baby, which was great news for us; of course the bad news was that Liz would be too far along at Christmas time that year for them to come back home for the holidays so that was a bummer! The baby was due around the first week in January of 2010 but we really enjoyed being with them again for the few days that they were able to spend with us. Both CL and I were a little sad to see them go because we knew they would not be able to be with the rest of the family until sometime next May when Chris’s courses were over, but the two of us certainly intended to see them sometime in October or November when we traveled down to Texas.

I received my first carton of The Voodoo Doll books on September third; therefore CL and I were very pleased with the printed copies. I started calling my readers who had already requested a copy of the book so we were kept very busy for the next few weeks delivering the books to everyone. People who love to read were very enthusiastic about reading novels about the local places they were familiar with so I’ve always tried to write about those places that would interest a lot of different people. CL and I were both looking forward to having another booth this year at the John Blue Festival the second week in October and then one in Hamlet at the Seaboard Festival the last Saturday of the month. CL had always been so helpful during the past when he set up our canopy tent at both October festivals. We had so much fun just being together. He loved tasting all the different foods the festival vendors had for sale. We really enjoyed those wonderful days. John Blue lasts all day on Saturday and Sunday, but the one in Hamlet was always scheduled for just one day. It is so much fun to see old friends come visit you at your booth and then meet new friends who are interested in reading then actually start buying your books. CL and I were hopeful that I would be completely cancer-free by then so we had a lot to look forward to as we planned exciting things for the days to come. From the very first doctor’s visit, I started writing in a journal keeping track of everything that happened to me. I didn’t know at that time what I was going to do with it later, but I decided that I needed to write down each and every step of my journey through all of the awful days; I didn’t know what the future might hold since I had been given such a devastating diagnosis; but I thought maybe if I was able to come out of this ordeal successfully that my story just might benefit someone else out there who might have to face the same situation some day. On Tuesday, September eighth CL and I went back to the Cancer Center hopefully for my very last chemo treatment. This time, since it was the last scheduled session thankfully I didn’t have to return the next day for that painful Neulasta injection so I felt optimistic that I would not suffer during the next few days at all.

CL and I were both enthusiastic as we thought about the fact that I might not have to have any more chemo; we were really ready to celebrate the good news with our loved ones and close friends. At the end of that last session, Dr. Raybon’s staff presented me with a balloon and candy along with a wonderful congratulatory declaration for successfully completing chemo. So now big plans could be made…CL could take down that big atlas again and we could map out our road trip down to Lubbock, Texas to visit Chris in his new position at Texas Tech. We decided that we would drive out there so we could see some of the country that we’d never visited before. Chris had requested the need for a second bathroom in their home so CL agreed to help him with that project. We were planning to drive down by the southern route through New Orleans on our trip down there; then we would drive back across the northern route through Las Vegas to see some of the states we’d never visited before on our return. We also talked about going on another cruise together. We had such a wonderful time when we drove to Jacksonville, Florida and visited Cozumel, Playa del Carmen and Freeport in the Grand Caymans. We decided that this time we would choose another cruise to some of the other islands in the Caribbean. On September seventeenth I had more blood work drawn; thankfully those results showed that my blood had really improved since the last chemo on the sixth. Dr. Raybon scheduled me for another visit along with more blood work on September twenty-eighth. Then set up another cat scan was ordered for October twenty-eighth. After that if everything looked all right then I wouldn’t have to visit Dr. Raybon again until November ninth. That was really good news for us! But again I was warned that cancer is an ongoing fight; no matter how good the news might turn out to be there is always a chance you’ll come out of remission then have to go through everything all over again; you just have to trust in the Lord to bring you through it all.

Chapter Twenty-Three

C L and I planned that drive down to Texas with grateful hearts and happy excitement. We wanted to go sometime around the first of October so we started making tentative plans. He even took his United States Atlas out then outlined the routes that we would take on the way to Texas as well as traveling through different states when we returned home. Chaz and Sherry would need someone to watch them from 2 until 5 every day during the weeks we were gone so we spoke to Sally and Granny who promised to pitch in whenever necessary while we were gone. On Saturday, September nineteenth, CL wanted to drive down to Marion, S.C. to his Aunt Emily’s house to pick up some glass in his truck that she was giving him. I had gone with him a couple of weeks before to pick up a couple of things from the outside building she was empting but I didn’t feel like riding down there that afternoon of the nineteenth so CL drove down there alone; he stacked all that glass on his truck then brought it back to Laurinburg. He worked outside that day until after dark as he unloaded each piece all alone then he stacked it up into the nearest barn. We had talked about glassing in our back porch for several years now so that glass would come in handy when we started that project. You know that the old saying about ‘the best laid plans of mice and men’ is certainly true. Because we didn’t get to take that trip we planned down to Texas or even go on another cruise together after all.

On September twenty-first, Dr. Raybon called us stating that my last cat scan showed that almost all of my cancer was gone. He said there were still ‘little footprints’ but he saw no reason for us to schedule any more chemo any time in the future; we really thought that we finally had this bad boy under control! That afternoon a very good friend of ours, Teresa Wise, called to check on me. She wanted to know what the doctor told me that morning. When we told her our good news, she invited us over to eat at her house with her daughter, Courtney,

on Tuesday night, September twenty-second. We were all going to celebrate the fact that I didn’t have to have any more chemo sessions so CL and I were happily planning that wonderful trip to Texas as well; but for now our friends needed CL’s carpenter skills. They had moved into a different house and needed CL to put up a couple of shelves in their laundry room as well as give them a second closet to hang their clothes. After CL came home from work we went over to Teresa’s. We were greeted and hugged then sat down at the dinner table. I was eating a piece of pizza and CL had started on his salad when he suddenly had an agonizing pain in his right side. As he cried out, he fell from his chair onto the floor. He told me that he had never experienced such a terrible pain in his life; he could not even stand up straight. When he tried, he had to hold his right lower side in order to even breathe; his face was contorted with awful agony and he was trembling all over; almost immediately he turned white as cotton. Teresa and I helped him stand up; the three of us slowly started walking outside to the porch; he thought the fresh air outside might help him but he remained doubled-over in excruciating pain. We wanted to take him straight to the emergency room but he said: “I’ll be okay in a minute; just let me walk it off.” But when he tried this time, he was unable to walk without leaning heavily on both us. He turned in the living room still holding his side as he bent over double; then he begged us to help him go into the bathroom. Just as soon as that door closed behind him, we heard an awful sound…a loud crash. He had collapsed on the floor unconscious. It was impossible to move him off the floor there because his body had fallen against the door and was blocking our entrance. It took three of us to push the door open partway so someone could get inside. Teresa and Courtney were the first ones to slip through the opening and they tried to take his vital signs. Teresa was an experienced nurse and was the first one to realize that we needed assistance as soon as possible. She had Courtney’s boyfriend call 911 immediately while she and Courtney worked on CL. The people next door came

in asking if there was anything they could do to help us. Finally Courtney’s boyfriend, Chez, was able to move CL’s body away from the door so the two nurses were able to work on him while we waited for the ambulance to arrive. My sickness and my cancer were no longer first and foremost in my mind…now the man that I had loved more than anything else in the whole wide world for over forty years was valiantly fighting for his own life. That ambulance seemed to take forever; when we finally heard the sound of sirens Chez ran outside to guide them in. It took several of them to even get CL loaded up onto the stretcher. I ran outside behind them and then sat in Teresa’s car with her while those EMTs worked frantically on CL inside that ambulance. The light in the ambulance was bright so even through my tears, I was horrified to see them while they bent over him and worked hard, furiously trying to revive him; even when I tried I couldn’t look away from that terrifying sight. My hands were tied; I knew I couldn’t help but I had to know what was happening to him. Although the tears ran down my face, I ed to pray…for God to save him and sustain our family. It seemed to take forever before the ambulance finally started moving away from the house. We followed behind it all the way to the hospital as I began to make the necessary calls. I called Chuck first who had to get Sirena out of a class she was attending; I didn’t want to call Granny but I knew I had to get up with Sally and David. I called their number but they weren’t home; Devin answered the phone. He told me he would call them for me. Someone called Kevin and Marie in Pembroke for me as well. At the hospital we learned that when the ambulance attendants took CL’s shirt off while he was on the stretcher, they saw where he had previously had heart surgery; immediately they thought that he was having another heart attack but the nurses who had been with us when he collapsed tried to convince the ambulance attendants that it wasn’t his heart at all; he had been complaining with low groin pain on the right side so we didn’t think that it was a heart attack!

We were seated in the emergency waiting room about seven-thirty that night. CL had been rushed directly into one of the back rooms through the ambulance entrance while we ran inside from the front. Sally and David came in to be with us and in a few minutes she called a couple of very good friends to go pick up Granny then bring her down to the hospital to be with all of the family who were slowly arriving to wait with us. I called my sisters and all of them started praying. Dianne and Sam lived in nearby Rockingham so they came to the hospital as soon as they could drive to Laurinburg. The next few hours were absolutely horrendous…I knew that CL would fight to survive so I tried my best to pray and keep my hopes up. Friends and family kept encouraging me to be strong while we waited for some good news. A friend from the First Health Ambulance service in Pinehurst came in also. Gwen Pate was able to go back and forth into that room to check on CL for us. She reported that his heart had stopped twice but they were able to revive him again and they were still trying to decide what to do. When Dr. Lanuti finally came out to talk to us, Teresa explained that she didn’t think it was his heart at all. When she told him what his symptoms were, Dr. Lanuti scheduled immediate surgery. The conclusion then was that CL had experienced a ruptured aneurysm just as my father had back in 1987. At ten minutes after eleven p.m. we were finally allowed to see CL for a just a minute before they wheeled him over to the operating room but he was so pale it scared me. I reached out to hold his hand but it felt slack and clammy; it wasn’t warm like CL’s hands always were. He was completely unconscious so he didn’t even know that I was standing there with tears in my eyes holding on to his hands which still felt so familiar to me. Two of our sons, Chuck and Kevin, along with Chuck’s wife, Sirena, and the rest of us were then all sent up to an ICU waiting room where we continued to sit there holding hands as we prayed that CL would be strong enough to withstand the surgery and God would bring him through this. Unfortunately, Dr. Lanuti came back just a little after midnight. I walked across the floor to hear what he had to say. But I could tell by the set expression on his face that he did not have any good news to tell us. I knew right then that I didn’t

want to hear what he was going to say. “No,” I cried silently as I leaned against the doorframe; my heart fell to my feet as my eyes filled with tears…CL’s heart had stopped for the third time on the operating table at eleven-fifty; this time they could not revive him. He was gone from us and my heart was breaking; but in spite of my pain I knew that CL loved the Lord and that he was now in a better place than we were; and he wasn’t suffering any longer.

Of course, I completely broke down at first. He was my hero! I knew that CL hadn’t wanted to go; he didn’t want to leave me, our children or our grandchildren; after all, Chris and Liz were expecting another baby after Christmas and CL had really been looking forward to seeing the newest Witmore grandchild. Don’t get me wrong; CL was a devout Christian; he loved the Lord, his Church and his church family and he knew full well that there was a place waiting for him in Heaven but I knew that he just didn’t want to go yet and I certainly didn’t want to let him go. Happiness is a strong motivation for life but when you lose someone who is so important to you, your sadness consumes your every thought; it takes over, completely zapping every single bit of your energy. Death is one of the loneliness times in any person’s life. I felt like a zombie as I stood there listening to the doctors and the nurses, who had worked with CL for so many years; they all told me how sorry they were; they had tried to save him and were really going to miss him. Tears blinded me but I still tried to thank them for what they had attempted to do. I knew they had valiantly worked to try to bring him back to us. Dr. Lanuti assured me that he had worked with CL so many years and loved him also; he said that he had tried very, very hard to save him. He also said that even if CL had been standing there in the operating room with a team ready to operate on him immediately that it would not have helped; because there is no coming back from that type of an aneurysm after it ruptures. Of course, his sons, his mother and sister, and I were all inconsolable. My sister, Dianne and her husband, Sam, were still there along with my friends; people

from our church and numerous hospital personnel gathered there around us. They all tried to comfort us but all of us knew how hard it was going to be to live without the head of our family around anymore. We were actually allowed to see him again before we left the hospital that night; but this time it wasn’t the same as when we saw him just before the surgery; although he had been unmoving then as well, we did have some hope that he would be all right with the surgery; now we knew that there was no longer any hope; just like that…in the blink of an eye my wonderful, handsome husband and my soul mate wasn’t breathing any longer…now he was now gone forever! That marvelous man of mine, the one I had loved for over forty years…the one who had held me, sustained me and promised me all those months during 2009 when I was fighting cancer, that I would be all right, was not here any longer to see if I was going to be all right or not. I was now a widow; only half a person. I felt enormously empty; like half of my body was now gone as well. I kept thinking that I hadn’t told him enough times how much I loved him; I don’t think I ever told CL what a hero I always thought he was! He had been so vibrant, so strong and always entirely confident of everything during our married life. I don’t guess I ever realized what a special blessing and treasure he actually was until I didn’t have him anymore. The next few hours ran together; they are all just a blur to me. I know that Chuck must have brought me back home because I had my medicine and a nightgown with me when I went across the street to stay with them that night. Dede, a very close friend, had been staying with the children for Sirena and Chuck; she was still there waiting when we came in. She had already put Chaz and Sherry to bed so they were fast asleep. She hugged me as she told me how sorry she was about CL. We all cried together before she left to go home.

After telling both Chuck and Sirena goodnight, I went into their spare bedroom; as I crawled into bed I ed every single detail of that night vividly. As the tears came I knew that I would have one of the greatest struggles in front of me that I had ever faced in my entire life because I was alone now. The sudden

death of someone you love is similar to being hit between the eyes with a sledgehammer. It is unbelievably devastating. The numbness leaves you helpless and the rage you feel is unbearable because you don’t know who to blame…CL didn’t want to die; it wasn’t my fault, it wasn’t his fault…it was just his time to go. I was inconsolable. If I thought dealing with cancer had been bad, I could not imagine facing life without the man I had loved so intensely for the last forty, incomparable years. Just this morning at the table CL and I were sitting down enjoying breakfast together; we were a wonderful, loving couple around our kitchen table laughing together as we drank our coffee and shared the Charlotte paper. We were happy because my chemo was behind me. Now hours later I found myself alone… grieving and missing the one that I had loved for so many years. Grief handicaps you absolutely. It takes away your strength and reduces you to pure ashes. I don’t know how I slept that night, but finally I must have, because the next time I opened my eyes, I saw that it was morning and the sun was shining brightly through that east window. There was not a cloud visible in that blue sky. I thought to myself that certainly was not fair at all! How could that sun shine so bright while I was immerged in such a deep, black cloud of darkness? Surely those planets in the sky were hurting as much as I was…everything had changed now. How was I going to get through everything that I was facing now all alone? The world outside that little bedroom had not changed one bit…but my world had certainly changed forever! Even though I wanted to cover my head with the blanket to block out everything, I knew that I could not do that; I couldn’t hide myself away from what had happened the night before. There would be so much for me to do at home before everyone started coming in, so slowly and reluctantly I stood up to dress. I was moving in slow motion but I couldn’t help it; every muscle in my body felt heavy as lead so it was really slow going at first. I shook my head trying my best to dispel the cobwebs because I knew that there

were people who would be looking to me for answers; different friends would be dropping by the house sometime that morning and all the telephone calls would begin. I went into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face before I left Sirena and Chuck to cross the street to return to my own house. The most poignant thing I can tell anyone when something like this happens is that the worst thing is the terrible pain of learning there isn’t “anymore”; no more hugs in the mornings and at night; no more special moments to celebrate together; no more phone calls just to check, no more “Honey, I’ll be ready in just a minute!” Sometimes the things we care about the most get used up first…then they just go away never to return before we can say good-bye or say “I love you once again”. So, while we have it in our lives, it is best if we love it; care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is so true for marriage…like old cars and children with bad report cards and dogs with bad hips along with aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth keeping; because everyone is worth it! Some things we keep…like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after a divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what. Life is important…like people who are special so we keep them close! Suppose one morning you never wake up; have you told everyone in your life how much you love them? Love your friends even those who don’t ever love you back. If I don’t do anything else in life, I wish that I will be given the time to make the people around me realize how very important every single minute of the day is…because you never know when it is going to be taken away from you. CL was taken from his family much too soon and all of our hearts are broken, but we have to carry on…because we all know that life is for the living!

Chapter Twenty-Four

T hat very first morning at the house without CL was Wednesday; I came to the house by myself after leaving Sirena fixing breakfast at their house for Chuck and the children. I walked into our dark, lonely kitchen that morning with a very heavy heart. I looked down at our big wooden table where CL and I had enjoyed so many mornings together as we shared the morning paper, drank coffee and talked for a while before we went to our separate jobs. As I stood there alone I just fell apart; I couldn’t help it! The tears were impossible to hold at bay as I looked helplessly around at the beautiful woodwork CL had put into the door and window facings and that beautiful mantle that he hand carved and sanded down before lovingly covered with stain and varnish. Then he placed it up against that wonderful brick fireplace. In spite of its beauty, the loneliness in that empty room hit me between the eyes like a freight train; I realized right then that CL would never ask me to warm his coffee again or scramble him an egg or share the morning paper with me. I would never see his bright brown eyes twinkling at me across the table as he greeted me with a loving, welcome smile when I walked into the room; he wouldn’t ever be there to share anything with me anymore. As the tears washed down my face, there was one thought uppermost in my mind…it kept going round and round. It was simply the fact that I wasn’t through loving him yet. I still wanted more years to be with him; forty years just wasn’t nearly enough; I wanted to go more places with him, I wanted to continue loving him; I was just not ready to give him up yet…but I also knew with a sinking heart that a future with him was not meant to be. I had to accept then and there that God must have needed him more than I did. Of course when the phone started ringing, I had to pull myself up by my boot straps and answer as if I had good sense. I have no idea who called first but I think I thanked whoever it was, then hurriedly took a shower as I tried to get ready to face the day ahead of me.

I was just leaving the bedroom when the knocks started on the door. I had to put on a brave smile and face the world even though I felt like going back to bed and pulling the covers over my head then never, ever move again. I don’t who came in first…probably Sirena and then Sally; then Chuck and Kevin came in. I someone brought in lunch and we talked about Chris calling saying that he and Liz and Eli would fly in late that afternoon from Texas. We were all looking forward to seeing them again but I hurt so much because I knew another son would have to face the future without his father. When you lose the head of your family, life as you’ve know it, changes forever. It is such a struggle to get through each and every day after something like this happens to you. I know that I can count my blessings with my loved ones whom I depend on for so much…I have a ready great group to glean strength from. I have three marvelous sons, their wonderful wives and six very beautiful grandchildren, as well as two loving brothers and three sisters as well as their spouses, along with CL’s sister, Sally, her husband, David, and their son, Devin, and CL’s mother, Katie. They are family! You can always count on the of your family to be there when you need them the most. I knew that I would have some very good people to lean on during the next few days…but with a sinking heart, I also knew that it was going to be very tough on all of us for a very long time! I knew resolutely that it was absolutely going to be the hardest struggle I have ever had to face in my life; I would have to force myself to strive for order so I could maintain some sanity in a world that I felt was spinning completely out of control. I could not have gotten through that long day without all my friends and family ; they all came in to comfort me and assist me in making the right decisions. I knew that we had a lot of things that had to be done right away. We had to plan the visitation for Thursday night and then the actual funeral on Friday. CL had always said that he wanted McDougald’s to be in charge when he was no longer here. He had said he didn’t care if he had a simple pine coffin, but he wanted a really good vault so the water could never seep through. Unless you

have experienced it yourself, you cannot imagine how hard it is to plan your loving husband’s funeral. It’s very hard for everyone to say goodbye and handle the details for their parents, but losing your spouse is so much worse; it is truly a devastating, tragic ordeal. During that first day as the people began piling in, the kitchen, which was once again full of activity. Some of the ladies from the Baptist Church and many of our neighbors started bringing in plates of food, love and so much encouragement; there were also many promises of prayer to help sustain us. Even when you think you can’t go on, you have to continue to trudge ahead. With faith and determination you can always keep going long after you think you can’t. My very special friend, Teresa, was there with tears in her own eyes. She had been a steady influence in our lives since she separated from her husband, and the three of us often went out eating together and enjoyed each other’s company. Now, she was here trying her best to console me. She hugged me tightly then handed me a card; she said: “Sit down right now and read this.” Tears filled my eyes but I did as she suggested. The card didn’t even have the writer’s name on it but I’ll never forget how it made me feel:

‘In happy moments, praise God; In difficult moments, seek God; In quiet moments, worship God;

In painful moments, trust God; And every moment, thank God.’

My friend hugged me again as she cried right along with me; then she told me that things would get better but at that moment I had no idea that things would ever be better for me. She suggested that I the wonderful years I had with CL as a privilege and to thank God that he had given me such a marvelous husband for so many years. A lot of women do not get a good man the first time around so I had to smile through my tears. I knew that I had been married to one of the best so I thanked Teresa for reminding me of that and I told her I did not intend to ever step down! I was so grateful to have Chuck and Sirena right there with me; soon Kevin’s wife, Marie and their loving children were gathered around me also. The house was once again filled with the laughter of little ones. Emma was the youngest of Kevin’s children; she wouldn’t be two until January 19th but she had loved Pa to distraction just as the older children had. She walked into every room looking for him; then she came back to me and said: “Gan-ma, where’s Pa?” My eyes filled with tears as I hugged her close. Of course, Kevin and Marie had told the children that he was gone but she was just not quite old enough to understand what had happened to him; she just knew that she couldn’t find him anywhere in our house right now. Later that afternoon we were all so glad to see Chris, Liz and Eli. It wasn’t as happy an occasion as it was back in August when they surprised CL and me by stopping in for a few days on their way to Lubbock; then we had been so excited about planning our trip out there to see them. Now they were here for an entirely different reason. But as difficult as it was for me, I tried my best to stay strong for them; I tried not to cry in front of anyone even though that was very hard at times. All that next day as more visitors came and much more food was brought in, Sirena, Marie and Liz manned the kitchen area for me. They labeled all the dishes which were brought in so appropriate thank-you cards could be written to the right people. They found spots in the refrigerator for everything that had to be kept cold and everything else was set out on cabinets and the tables for every one to eat whenever anyone became hungry.

Later that day Beachum McDougald came from the funeral home to ask questions so a service could be planned; we gave him pictures so that he could make a video to show during the visitation on Thursday night. Then he wanted to question us about how we wanted him to handle the funeral on Friday. CL told me years ago at his Uncle Stubbs’ funeral that he wanted a military service like his uncle’s. We decided to use the American flag instead of a casket spray so I requested that he order a flag for each of the sons as well as mine, then one for his sister, and his mother to have as keepsakes.

Dr. Drag Kimrey, the previous Baptist Church preacher, as well as Rev. CF McDowell, our current pastor, visited us that day so we had to decide on the songs to be sung, bible verses to be read and the information about CL’s background that we wanted everyone to hear. Those were very hard decisions to make and it took his sister, his sons and me a couple of hours to even decide on the right songs and the proper message we wanted delivered from the bible. The second hardest thing to do was actually go down to the funeral home to select the coffin for his final resting place. It was so surreal…it didn’t seem possible that I had to perform this service for CL. After all; I was the one who had been diagnosed with cancer that year; I was the one who everyone thought was going to die; but it was CL that God chose to take away from us. That afternoon I took one slow step at a time as I tried to come to grips with the reality of how final the action over at the funeral home had been. CL was gone; he was only sixty-six years old; that was far too young to die and of course I wasn’t ready to give him up. Thankfully, he had had the foresight to retire at age fifty-nine even though a few years later he became bored so he had gone back to work part time…but at least during those wonderful seven years, the two of us had been able to travel to a lot of different places together. If he had waited until he reached his full retirement age at sixty-six, we would not have been able to go to all those places together…so I am stating a very important fact here for everyone to please grasp. Don’t wait! Retire between the

ages of fifty-nine to sixty-two if at all possible. You will actually be seventyeight or seventy-nine before the money that you would have earned will catch up with you. A lot of men as well as women do not live to be that ripe old age so why wait. If you are eligible for early retirement through the Social Security system, I urge you to take it. Otherwise, you might not live long enough to enjoy any of your retirement if you don’t. As that day ed, it was hard for me to tell one hour from the other; everything seemed to be moving so slowly; the future ahead of me looked so bleak and lonely that I really felt shut off from everyone else, almost like I was floating in limbo. It was as if all of this was happening to another person; my mind was blank at times; my heart actually felt dead. I felt as if half of me was missing and I moved through the hours like a zombie…sometimes feeling absolutely nothing! I know I spoke to people. I must have answered questions appropriately because I was never accused of acting crazy even though I felt like I was most of the time. I must have eaten something during those three days because I was strong enough to get through the service without collapsing on the floor. As I write this book, I can tell you that I’ve discovered that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world does not stop going around just because you are grieving! The sun comes up every morning and sets again every night; the stars shine just as bright in the sky at night as they always did; although you yourself have certainly changed, there’s no change in the universe…it still spins around on its axis every twenty-four hours. Everyone else’s life goes on just the same; they continue to perform their daily activities the same as always; their usual routine doesn’t change one iota but I felt like my life was ending much too soon. I know that sometimes people you love are taken from you entirely too soon and you have to continue to go on for the ones that you love who are still in your life; those are the ones who are depending on you the most. The rest of that day became a blur with plenty of friends, my sisters and brothers all coming in late that afternoon. It had been a couple of years since any of them had seen Chris and Liz; some of them had never met Eli so I was grateful to

have something else to occupy my mind while everyone was getting reacquainted. The CEO, Greg Wood, at Scotland Memorial Hospital wrote a very special email which he sent to all of the hospital departments, all personnel as well as all the doctor’s offices about CL’s ing. I felt very privileged when I was given a copy of that heartfelt email which I’m repeating below because CL was such a special person:

‘I am saddened to write you this morning to report on the ing of (Charles) CL Witmore, Jr. here late last night. As most of you know, he worked here for over thirty-five years and if anyone epitomized what Scotland Health Care System is all about, it was CL Witmore. ‘He was a Laurinburg native who started as our chief engineer (title later changed to Director) in 1970. He oversaw the enormous expansion our hospital system experienced over the past four plus decades and truly knew where every single electrical outlet and duct connection was (and if you had the time, he would tell you!) He retired from that position in 2002 but came back to work for us PRN as “regular” engineering tech in 2006 – but there was nothing about CL that was regular. ‘What made CL so special was not what he did, or how long he did it, and how much he loved our hospital system and its people. His fondness for telling stores about who did what and when reflected how proud he was of all we had done for our community. He was present at every event, usually the last to leave, handson, using his engineering skills and his back to help do whatever was necessary, for however long it took. He shared most of his time and talent as well in the community, through the Optimist Club and other civic organizations. ‘The only thing CL loved more than his hospital was his family – his wife, Sylvia, his three sons and their families. He was tremendously proud of all their accomplishments and they are extremely close. Please keep all of them in your thoughts and prayers. He was only sixty-six when he ed. We will let you know more about the arrangements when they are finalized. ‘We lost a part of Scotland Health Care Systems last night. But much more importantly, CL helped make us who we are – a committed family who cares for

each other and our community with all that is within us.’ Of course, while reading that special message from Greg, we all had to cry. As difficult as it was for me, I tried my best to stay strong; I tried not to cry in front of anyone even though I know I failed miserably at times. There are so many people from the Baptist Church who touched our lives during this trying time that I know that I’ll forget to thank some of them but wonderful friends like Faye and Charley Nichols, Bob and Gay Moore, Bebe and Marion Covil, Margaret and John Herring, Wayne and Nita Sparkman, Sylvia and Kemp Stewart, Carolyn and Drag Kimrey…and so many more; so if I have forgotten to mention someone special in our lives, please just that each one of us is so filled with grief over our loss that we don’t think clearly at times so if I’ve neglected to thank someone or to reach out to someone who might need me, I ask for your forgiveness…just consider the source! The wonderful Bill Riggins, his wife, Sarah, and his son, Ron, came through for us in a very big way. He called the house telling us that he had arranged for rooms over at the Hampton Inn to be set aside for as many family and friends who needed rooms for both Thursday and Friday nights…he said that was his gift to his very good friend, CL, and that he would also miss him very much. We were all so thankful because that meant that so many of our loved ones and friends from out of town would be able to stay over to be with us through both Thursday and Friday nights. With Chris and his family here I didn’t have to spend the night with Chuck and Sirena but that Wednesday night when I crawled into my lonely bed, I picked up my bible. I tried to find comfort in some of the books in the New Testament. I found a age in there that said that God is the light of the world. He shines in our darkest moments of life. I thought that my days during the past year when I was fighting that cancer and facing the uncertainty of my future had been my darkest days, but they were nothing compared to the loss of CL. He was my soul mate, my partner for life; the one I fell head over heels in love with when I was in my middle twenties; he was the man I had grown to love even more every day through all of the years we had been together…I knew that I would miss him more than life itself. I couldn’t stop the tears right then but I guess I was so tired that finally sleep was a welcome release from my sadness.

My wonderful sister, Margaret, came on Thursday morning reporting that she planned to stay for the rest of the weekend with me. Karen and Rick were going to stay at the Hampton Inn here in Laurinburg. My sister Dianne, her husband, Sam, as well as my brothers Lynn, Glenn and Glenn’s wife, Teena, planned to drive back and forth to Richmond County since it wasn’t all that far away. So we knew that we would have close friends and relatives all around us during the visitation on Thursday night then they would also be able to attend the funeral with us on Friday. After lunch, Chuck, Chris and Kevin asked Beachum McDougald if they could be pall bearers the next day but he said that he didn’t think it would be appropriate for sons to perform that service even though they said they wanted to put their hands on their daddy one more time!

Chapter Twenty-Five

C L had been the coordinator for the building of Morgan Center, the new Scotland Memorial Hospital and Morrison Manor over at Hospice. He had a long, friendly relationship with the local contractors as well as architects and contractors from out of town and all over North Carolina. Because he had dealt with all of them from September of 1970 until September of 2009, we heard from a lot of them during this time. They told me how he had helped them through the years and how grateful they were to have known him. He was associated with building the new hospital then years of construction of the many office buildings and doctors’ offices throughout Scotland County as well as over in Robeson County and down in McColl and Bennettsville, S.C. He had been a member of the First Baptist Church since he was a little boy; he served as a deacon, a Sunday school teacher, served as head of the Stewardship Committee as well as on the Building and Grounds Committee through the years. He had gone to funerals for many of his friends, honored fellow church during their funeral services and now he was the one they were honoring with visits and plans for a funeral. CL was a wonderful person to a lot of people; he was honest and hardworking so he was respected and loved by so many. I knew that he never realized how important he had been to so many different people through the years.

Thursday afternoon was another busy one which absolutely flew by with friends, relatives and some of the wonderful people CL had worked with for years came visiting bringing in food, love and condolences as well as baskets of flowers for the family to enjoy. That night at the visitation down town, there were long lines of people waiting to pay their respects to a wonderful man; a man many of them had worked with since 1970. His co-workers, his hunting buddies, the Witmore family from Union County and all his friends were there in abundance to file in front of us, offering us hand shakes, hugs and sincere sympathy.

The visitation/call books are filled with their names…all of their signatures are a tribute to a man who had been such a prominent, working member of Scotland County for so very many years; he contributed much to society through his work at the Optimist Club for thirty-five years as well as all those years while he worked for the Scotland Memorial Hospital. During the visitation, I came face to face with a grandson I had never been privileged to get to know. He stood in front of me, tall and good-looking, (reminding me so much of my own sons) with tears in his beautiful eyes as he told me how sorry he was about CL. This was a son that Chuck had when he was very young but had never been allowed to see very often. Don was told at a young age who he belonged to but his mother was married to someone else at that time and did not allow Chuck visitation.. When he turned sixteen, Donovan Stroud drove his car to see Chuck and Sirena and meet Chaz and Sherry. It was a shock to see him that first time as a young man standing in front of me but I smiled then Chuck, Chris and Kevin all welcomed him there with hugs and we knew we would get to see more of him later on. The next day was Friday; it dawned bright and sunny and we all knew that it was going to be a very hard day The wonderful women of the Baptist Church had a magnificent, delicious meal for us before the funeral that day at lunch. All of our family , close friends and family from out of town were all served right there in the Fellowship Hall. Sally, the sons and I had chosen Kemp Stewart, Bob Moore, Wayne Sparkman and Bill Riggins to serve as honorary pall bearers. We selected my brothers, Glenn and Lynn, CL’s cousin, Ross Keith, his brother-in-law, David, his coworkers, James McDonald and Jimmy Hartis along with two of his very good friends, Steve O’Neal and Allen Peele, to serve as regular pall bearers. The service performed by Rev. CF McDowell and Dr. Drag Kimrey was beautiful and very inspiring. The choir sang ‘Waiting’ and it was so beautiful that we all cried. Drag’s wonderful words about The Suddenness of Things were really beautiful and I took some of those words to heart…he talked about Sally calling him the past Tuesday night with such distress in her voice that he couldn’t even

understand what she was saying but he knew that he had to come to the hospital to be with us. He and Carolyn came about the same time as Faye Nichols and Granny. Drag knew that this was a life-taking crisis and thank goodness they were with us that Tuesday night. Drag continued in his sermon to discuss the suddenness of CL’s death; it was important for everyone to realize how sudden death could be. He said “that our hearts were broken but CL left us with great memories of his love, his goodness, his friendship, his service to the church…to the community…and to our nation, (he had served in the Air Force for four years). CL loved life and he was always so full of life. He loved his wife, his children, his grandchildren, his mother, his sister, his God…more than life itself. He laughed and he cried; he worked and he played. He built new things and he was able to fix broken things.” Drag talked about the seven years he had known CL. “I have many stories to tell you about CL. I could tell you how he grew his own white beard to be our Santa Claus rather than the fake beard I gave him to use. I could tell about building handicap ramps. I could tell about laying my hands on him as this church ordained him as a deacon. I could tell about eating the fish he fried for the Optimist fund raisers; I could tell stories that show all of us how to be better Christians and better citizens. But the story I want to tell you this afternoon was when he went with John Gay, Kemp Stewart and me to Pembroke one cold Saturday morning to work on a new building. That project required more than his physical strength for us to complete it. It required his engineering background. He led us and we completed our project. In my mind his white hair glistened as white as snow as he unselfishly gave his time and talents to help others. You see…I have memories just like you. I have stories just like you. Don’t be afraid to share them.” Drag talked to all of us that afternoon. He said: “Now it is time for us to these stories about CL and tell them. In the last few days I’ve talked to these sons…Chuck, Chris and Kevin…and told them to tell their young children about their grandfather. I also asked them to tell their stories to each other; stories that tell how a father influenced his sons through the years. Tell them to friends and to strangers. Let them all know your father.” Then he spoke directly to me. “Sylvia, you are writer. You know how to tell a story. You know how to write a story. Write the story of the man you love…the story of the father of your children. It is a story worth telling because it’s the

story of a life lived worthily.” Tears coursed down my cheeks. Right about that time, Sherry moved over into my lap. She looked up at me and spoke softly. “Gan-ma, you told me Pa had died and gone to Heaven.” I nodded, whispering back. “I know, darling, he is in heaven.” “Well,” she said as she pointed toward that flag-draped casket, “Then who is in that box there?” Well, I didn’t know what to say then; I just held her and tried to control my tears as I listened for Drag to finish his wonderful sermon. “My friends, the suddenness of things happens…obviously…when we least expect it. Even if we were not prepared to hear of CL’s death, please let it be known that he was prepared for the suddenness that took his life…because he was prepared to meet his God. Because the suddenness of things that happen so we must be prepared to meet the suddenness of things head on.” He read some Scripture from Proverbs 3:21-26 and he paraphrased it as he asked all of us to hear from the ancient collection of wise sayings the voice of CL speaking to his family…and to all of us. Proverbs 3:21 begins with “my child,” but Drag believed that CL would begin this way: “My wife, my mother, my sons, my daughters-in-law, my grandchildren, my dear family and friends…preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. Have no fear from the suddenness of my death…for the LORD is my keeper now and will be your confidence and will keep you safe.” Drag ended with a simple statement: “My friends…take seriously the suddenness of things. Are you prepared to meet your God?”

Our tears were all flowing freely; I looked over at little Claire as tears coursed down her beautiful face; my heart went out to her then because she was so very sad; her tears revealed her loss. She had known her grandfather longer than any of the other grandchildren so she understood more of what was going on. I knew how much she was hurting because I was really hurting too. I don’t know how I managed to walk out of that church behind that flag-draped coffin. I knew that my beloved husband was gone forever; I didn’t know how I was going to go on without him. I searched vainly through the many faces that smiled at me through their tears; familiar, beloved faces. My dear friend, Jane Schroeder and her daughter, Laurie; Teresa and her daughter, Courtney; Nancy Averitte, Jerry Suggs and Jackie Hatfield and a lot more of our friends from Hamlet were all there along with Ann O’Neal and Steve’s parents from Blenheim; others who had known and loved CL also swam in my vision. Behind me, all of my sons, their wives, their children and my wonderful brothers and sisters as well as their families were all there to say their final goodbyes. Chuck and Sirena had to literally push me into the car in front of them because I was so blinded by my tears; I was having trouble making sure that I was able to take one step in front of the other. We had chosen to have CL’s body moved to the grave site in the old 1920something-car of the McDougalds. I knew that he would have wanted to take his last ride in such a famous old automobile. The procession moved along very slowly and then all of a sudden it stopped completely. None of us knew what had happened but we sat there and waited while policemen held back traffic as all the cars were completely stalled leaving the church. Right in front of us that old car had also stopped; but none of us realized what had happened then. Finally, Beachum walked back to our car, apologizing profusely. “I’m so sorry; the car just stalled. We can’t get it started again so I had to send my attendant back to the Funeral Home to pick up another hearse.” Chuck, Chris and Kevin looked at each other and without a word got out of the car. They stood there at the back of that old T-model waiting patiently. The new hearse pulled up beside the old one; my three wonderful sons got to put their hands on their daddy one more time because they were the ones who transferred

him from one vehicle to the other so we could continue on to complete the service at the graveyard. When they climbed back into the car, they were smiling; when they told us how good it felt to perform that last service for their dad, we all had to laugh: who but CL Witmore would have his final ride to the graveyard in two different hearses…one very old one then one brand new one. Beacham along with his attendant both continued to apologize to me when we arrived at the cemetery, but I told them not to worry. We had all been so sad and upset; we all were crying so hard until that happened. Then we had to laugh because we felt like CL had controlled that particular situation himself…he probably thought that if he had been around he could have gotten that old jalopy started again so in the midst of our tears, we were able to find joy in laughter because we realized that CL had really gotten in the last word! Of course, we grew sad again during the graveyard services. Taps were played; guns sounded and those wonderful military officers folded up that flag beautifully; they presented it to me with such flourish and flair that you couldn’t help but be impressed by the nobility of our fighting forces. CL had loved being in the service;. He had served his country with love for four years during his Air Force days. Finally, they were serving him before he was lowered into his final resting place.

Going back home after all the services are over is really a let down…but you can’t succumb to grief and wailing even when you want to. The house was flooded with loving family and friends who were right there to comfort and console all of us. There was no way any of us could turn our backs on them. Later that evening the table was laden with food for anyone who felt like eating. There were people out on the deck, in every room, and even out on the porch. Everyone was here to help us get through one of the roughest times we had ever had to go through…but comfort can always be found by the touch of someone’s hand or from their soft words of condolences. I found a lot of comfort that afternoon while I talked with Rachelle McKeithen, who used to be married to my brother, Lynn. They still remain friends but only

find it impossible to stay married to each other. Just because they were divorced, the two of us were never divorced; so thank goodness, we have been able to remain good friends through the years.

Chapter Twenty-Six

C ontinuing to function day after day without your life partner beside you becomes really hard and that action leaves you weak as water. Whenever people are around, you can act normal and can go through the motions of living without any problems; however, at night when family goes home and others find their beds in other rooms, you crawl into your empty bed alone; that’s when grief can overtake you completely; then you fall apart all over again. The next day before anyone else came downstairs my big house seemed to echo with CL’s laughter, his exuberance and love. Since our marriage, there was not one day that CL had not told me that he loved me; after my cancer scare, he would always tell me that first, then he’d ask me how I was feeling. I felt very lucky to have had the love of this wonderful man for forty years…but of course forty years was not nearly enough. I wanted at least forty more years. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful loving family who rallied around me, but it was still hard to get through the days and those lonely nights without CL beside me. After losing a spouse, your life changes drastically. That unexpected death makes you feel so isolated you think part of you is missing and gone forever; you feel as if your life is completely shattered without him. My sister Margaret stayed with me until Sunday. Then she had to return to Cary so she could go back to work on Monday. Chris, Liz and Eli stayed until Monday then they had to leave to catch a plane back to Texas. I was really sad to see them go. When there are toddlers around you all the time, you can focus a lot of your attention on them so you don’t dwell on the sad aspects of your own life so much. For the next week or so, I stayed across the street at night with Chuck, Sirena and the children until a security system could be installed in my house. Sirena helped me the security service in Hamlet that all the Nic’s Pic stores use. Once it was installed I was able to come back home and stay alone at night as

well as during the days. I knew from the beginning that I had to stay busy, optimistic and plan my days with lots of activities or I would drown myself in grief and really go crazy. When you lose someone you love so much, you will have good days and then there will be many bad days when a word, a person, or just a poignant memory hits you; then the tears start all over again. That first week, I was so glad to have plenty to do to keep myself occupied… there were so many thank-you cards to write. People I had to thank for bringing food, sending flowers and giving us so much encouragement during those first bad days. I had to call Social Security, I had to the VA Hospital not to send CL’s medications any more; I had to call the life insurance companies, obtain the necessary papers for the death certificate to be certified and court documents had to be handled as well as names changed on bank records. My call to that life insurance company really broke my heart. CL and I had paid on an insurance policy since 1973. We had been told that it would be for twentyfive thousand dollars for the main policy holder, which would have been CL. There was one for me as well but it was only for fifteen thousand dollars. However, without our knowledge, the policy had a decreasing term clause in it that once the age of sixty was reached, the total of the policy started decreasing. So for the last six years, CL’s policy had dropped over three thousand dollars per year. The face value in 2009 was only seven thousand dollars. In three more years, there would not have been any money left to collect at all. Of course, they agreed to send me the balance then I cancelled my part of the insurance immediately. I was able to secure life insurance through a couple of other companies; this time, I made sure they were not the ones with a decreasing term clause. When the death of a loved one is so unexpected, there is always so much the surviving spouse has to do alone that it boggles your mind. If you sat down and tried to number the things that have to be done, it would be a daunting experience; you just have to perform each and every one of these duties methodically one by one. It has been said that earth has no sorrow that Heaven cannot heal! But in those darkest hours after CL’s death I didn’t believe that at all. I didn’t know how the

world could stay the same.

In my darkest days I knew I had to sublimate my sadness to find some measure of peace because I felt as though the world had come to a jarring halt. How could everyone else be happy and smiling when I had lost the love of my life? Then I looked into the saddened eyes of my sons, their wives, his mother and his sister so I knew that I was not suffering alone! They were suffering also. They had lost CL as well so I gathered my loving family around me, hugged my grandchildren just a little bit harder then pulled myself up by my shoestrings; I guess in some unfathomable way, I even started healing just a little bit every day. After all, the sun still rose every morning and set each night. Life went on; albeit without CL with us anymore…but we had our wonderful memories. I have never felt peace visiting CL at the grave site. It is a lonely, cold, barren place and I just feel alienated when I go. I know that grave is empty; he is no longer there. Instead, I feel his presence in every room in our house. The wood trim around all the windows and doors CL touched with his own hands; the two of us worked together to sand the wood then stain the woodwork and put the paint on the walls with our two hands. His hands worked with the bricks around our fireplace. What started out as an old house that was seriously in need of renovation became our sanctuary of pride and plenty of accomplishments. Our sons’ hands had worked with the mortar for the bricks in the chimneys and that fireplace as well as applying the shingles on the roof; they worked hard to rebuild the front porch that was badly in need of repair right along with their dad. But now, I knew that we had to find a way to get along in life without him. When problems arose, CL was the one we turned to; he was the one who could fix whatever was wrong but now he was longer here to help us during the difficult times. Our sons gradually went back to their own homes; luckily Chuck and Sirena lived right across the street with Chaz and Sherry so I was able to lean on them

so much. Chris and Liz and their son, Eli, were back in Texas resuming their lives there. Kevin and Marie took their three children back home to Pembroke. Granny, Sally, David and Devin returned to their own homes as well. The most difficult days for me are the days that I’m here in this house all by myself. During the day there was always family and friends in and out of the house so the nights were the hardest for me. I’d crawl in that big queen-sized bed and try to sleep; then I only had tears for company. In the next few weeks I learned to pile pillows all over on CL’s side of the bed then I could close my eyes, snuggle up to their warmth and pretend that it was CL beside me. One morning, I didn’t feel like doing anything. I could not sit down at that beautiful table where CL and I had enjoyed so many meals together in the past; I could not eat at that kitchen table…not while I was here alone. If someone was there to sit down with me, I was fine but I absolutely could no longer face sitting in the chair that I had used for so many years next to CL’s chair, which was now empty. Of course sometimes your grief actually makes you do some crazy things; I have tried to change the channel on the TV using the tabs on the telephone; I have tried to answer the phone by punching in a button on the TV remote control. I have gone to the kitchen to get something but then immediately forgot what I even went in there to pick up. I have searched the freezer looking for something to cook then find that I left several packages out of the freezer without putting them back. So the next day when I realize what I did, I would have to throw the thawed meat into the trash because it was no longer any good. I confess that I am actually paranoid sometimes at night; I know full well that I have locked both of my doors and have even have set the night alarm, but still I have to go to that door several times just to make sure that it is securely locked and the green light is flashing so I will know that the alarm is properly set; all of these things seem abnormal to discerning minds, but through the grief session classes that CF McDowell started holding for the widowed women of the Baptist Church, I have learned that actions like that are completely normal.

He handed out several pages of written suggestions that really seemed to help when I was finally able to sit down and read over them.

There are appropriate stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance. I can truthfully tell you that I have experienced all of those and then some. There is a vast emptiness, a deep abiding sadness and loneliness; there’s even a sense of betrayal because that loved one has left you alone through no fault of your own…even knowing that he didn’t want to leave me didn’t keep me from feeling let down and so very disappointed and heartbroken that he was gone. You have to accept your sorrow then deal with it! No one else is going to manage it for you. You have to talk about it. It will really hurt at first but as the days , it is wonderful to hear different people say such good things about the person you loved. You have to keep busy so your mind will also be occupied. You have to accept your understanding of death! We never receive a satisfying answer to the question “why” no matter how many times we might voice it. Give of yourself; if you can find a way to help others, you can heal yourself. Do keep a journal; write your feelings and all of those disconsolate emotions down on paper even if you never do anything about it. You have to seek inner strength…set aside time to find peace of mind. Keeping active in church and Sunday school is a good way to feel less abandoned. God is that source of peace; He has strength and power bigger than yours. Get help…don’t let sorrow cripple you. We were told that there comes a time to stop crying and get on with life. Well, I’m trying to get on with my life, but I can’t help the tears when they come. Losing someone so precious the same year I struggled with a life-threatening cancer diagnosis seemed to me to be a double-whammy; I thinking on my way home from the hospital after they told me that CL had died that this was way too much for any one person to handle. How in the world was I going to be able to get on with my life and find the strength to continue to fight to live without his love and encouragement? I crying and praying to God for help because I knew this was one mountain that was too high for me to be able to climb alone. Yes, I had had forty

wonderful years with a loving man but I wasn’t quite ready to give up on him; but now I had to accept the fact that a future with him was not meant to be. He was gone now so I had to find a way to go on without him. Missing a loved one is so depressing that you just want to go back to bed, pull the covers over your head and pretend that when you wake up the horrible nightmare will be over. The cancer had almost floored me but CL had kept saying that I was going to be fine. His death really jerked the starch out of my sails but the love of the Lord Jesus, my three wonderful sons, their beautiful wives and children kept me going. Those adorable grandchildren are the cream of the crop. Someday I’m sure I will be able to talk about CL without breaking into a million pieces but now it’s too new and much too raw. Of course, some days are better than others. You can actually get through a day here and there without your heart breaking all over again, but then there are those days when there is nothing that can help you keep the tears at bay. You cry when you what wonderful times you had in the past, but then realize that all of that is over now; you can’t ever get it back. You miss that person that you’ve lost with every beat of your heart no matter how hard you try to that they’re actually in a better place than you are! I can tell you from experience that fighting to live, as you continue battling cancer then losing the love of your life in the same year is more than devastating; it is a life-altering experience. There were some days I didn’t want to clean my house; I didn’t care if you had to step over something in order to get into the next room. I can honestly say that I’m not the best housekeeper in the world but I do not apologize for that. I have always been creative, not domestic. My house is mine and I live alone so I can call it organized chaos if I want to. I might lose something today but eventually when I don’t need it anymore, I’m bound to find it. I’ll probably misplace something again tomorrow but I don’t stress out about that anymore. Life is too short to worry about dusting or mopping or cleaning every single day of your life. It will eventually get done but then of course it will inevitably have to be done all over again the next week. Some days I don’t even know if I ate anything or not but then I would

how important it was to remain healthy so I could fight the cancer if it came back, so I’d force myself to do better and I’d try to fix something good to eat. I was a good cook at one time when there were five of us to prepare meals for, but when you live alone, a sandwich or a cup of soup is so much easier to deal with than a full meal. I enjoy going out to eat with friends in restaurants so I try to make sure I eat all of the right things during those times. When the days are exceptionally hard, I try to how strong my mother was when she lost our dad…granted they were married for over fifty years and he lived for thirty of those years after he was diagnosed with meningitis; unfortunately he was never a husband to Mother after he came home from the hospital so she and Daddy really had only twenty-two years of a happy, fulfilling marriage; even though he was still around, he was more or less just another child for Mother to care for. I had almost forty complete years of marriage with CL; I try so desperately to be thankful for what I do have with our sons, their wives and those wonderful grandchildren. But when you are lucky enough to have a marriage that is extra special like CL and I, it really throws you for a loop when you lose it! There’s no going back then; there’s no ‘do- overs’ in the world we live in today…no matter how hard you that wish that you could go back to some of those happier days!

Chapter Twenty-Seven

O n September twenty-eighth, I kept my appointment with Dr. Raybon. They were all surprised to see me so soon; I guess they thought that I would have postponed my appointment but I knew that I had to continue to function on my own. When I walked in, those sweet girls at the front desk as well as the nurses in the back told me how sorry they were about CL. They said that they had really enjoyed working with him through all those years. He was a hard, dedicated worker and it showed with every project he had ever completed. He was extremely proud of the Cancer Center and the new equipment that was installed and everyone who worked with CL realized that. In fact, Dr. Raybon once said that the modern equipment the Hospital had purchased for the Cancer Center was one of the things that attracted him most when he came to apply for the position at Scotland Memorial Hospital; that state of the art equipment was very impressive. The things the nurses said to me were so sweet about CL that of course I had tears in my eyes when the doctor came in. He shook hands with me as he always had before my examination. He said that he really had expected me to cancel my appointment since it had only been six days since I’d lost CL but I told him that I had to look after my own health now; CL wasn’t there to help me monitor it anymore. Dr. Raybon said that my blood work was good, but he wanted me to have another cat scan in one month, on October twenty-eighth. I agreed and the nurses set it up for me. Again, I was told how sorry they were about CL and I had to agree…I was also. That afternoon when I was checking my calendar I realized that the John Blue Festival was to be held on October tenth, but I knew that I would not able to handle that festival for two long days without CL this year. We had already sent the money in to pay for reserving the booth so I could sell my books but two weeks before it was going to be held, I called Rebecca Blue explaining that I

couldn’t do it this year without CL. There was no way I could handle all of that alone…she assured me that they understood; they would keep my money and my booth would be paid for in 2010. I promised that I was sure I would be able to be there the next year. As much as I loved going into restaurants and sitting down to have someone wait on me, I couldn’t do it all by myself. CL and I had enjoyed going out to eat together so there was no way that I could do it now without him. I am able to go along with someone else at different times, but handling it on my own seems to be impossible. The days of October moved right along. Every morning when I walked by CL’s open closet, I could still smell that familiar, wonderful scent on his clothes. I knew that if I wanted to remain sane; if I was going to retain any structure and normality in my life, I had to do something about it myself. One day I emptied my closet and piled all of my clothes there on my bed. Then, I transferred CL’s clothes into the separate closet behind the bathroom where mine had previously been. Then I hung my clothes in CL’s open closet. It aded our bedroom so there was no way I could even enter the bedroom every day without seeing all his clothes hanging there. Things improved just a little when finally all my clothes were nearby and his were safely stored in a separate room. I did gather up all his pants because I knew our sons would not be able to wear them and took them down to Helping Hand. They wore size thirty-fours and thirty-sixes; so CL’s were all forties and much too big for them. I did save his shirts, sweaters and all of his sports coats which still smelled like CL. I intended to save them so his sons could go through them one day then select what they wanted once they found time to do that. On October eleventh, I went back to Church for the first time without CL. I was a little sad to go into the Couples Class alone because I knew CL had enjoyed that class so much but later during the actual Church services, the longer I sat there, the sadder I became; finally all I could see in front of me was that flagdraped casket that had sat up front on September twenth-fifth during CL’s funeral. I tried to think of happier times in that Church when I was with CL then I

ed that wonderful, stained cross he had built that was kept at the Church and pulled out each year several weeks before Easter and I couldn’t help it then. I just lost it. As the tears rolled down my face, I knew that I had to get up and leave. I couldn’t take another minute there looking down there at the altar. Grief and sadness could not be held at bay; it was impossible to control my emotions so, of course, I cried all the way back home to my house. My tears were quickly dried when I arrived home because I had company. My wonderful friend, Amy Stewart Miller, along with her two sons came to visit. They were standing outside waiting for me when I drove up. We all hugged each other like the good friends we were than went out to lunch over at Mac’s. After lunch we went across the street to visit with Chuck, Sirena and their family. I really enjoyed being with everyone very much. Then later on my sisters came to be with me so I was able to straighten up and put a smile back on my face. I had to think of the good things the good Lord had given me! I didn’t need to focus on what I had lost! I needed to appreciate everything that I had been given; no one could ever take away the joys I experienced during the forty years I was married to CL, and I have such wonderful memories… On October twelfth, Rachelle and my brother, Lynn, came to take me out to Mac’s with them for lunch. Sometime the next week, someone asked me what I missed the most about losing CL. It was a very sad question for me to answer but really I have a lot of answers to that question: I miss the strength I always felt when I was in his arms; he was warm and giving so I always felt safe with him; he loved life with a deep ion; I miss the joy, the laughter and the comfort I had received from my very best friend. I miss the closeness and the love the two of us had enjoyed for over forty years. I miss the touch of his warm hands on mine. I miss his exciting kisses…the kisses that always thrilled me down to my toes even after all those years of marriage; I sorely miss the sound of his voice telling me how much he loved me. Some of those days when he was working, a little after five o’clock, I’d hear him come in the kitchen door. He’d call out: “Honey, I’m home!” I miss that so much; I miss those smiles and the wonderful

hugs he always gave. He was tall, sturdily built and very strong so when he held you in his arms, you knew that you were really being hugged; at those times I felt so safe and secure. He was my world for so many good years. I miss our talks most of all…I was always able to say anything to him without fear of sounding foolish. Some days I look out the back window when I’m standing at the kitchen sink over all the acres of land behind our house; those acres CL loved so much; where he always hunted in the back field for so many years. I seeing his long, confident stride as he walked back to the house after hunting early on Saturday mornings or during the winter holidays. I can almost see him walking across those fields looking around him with an excited spring in his step and a smile on his face. During those nostalgic times I feel as though I am adrift on a raft in the middle of the roaring ocean with little chance of ever being rescued. I feel lost again and some days I feel so helpless; so useless. I read somewhere that life is too big to be resolved in one day…you just have to take the challenges that comes your way little bit by little bit; handle them all by taking them one day at a time; and believe me when I say that the year of 2009 was one that was full of challenges! Most of those days seemed so momentous and impossible for one person to handle that now I wonder how in the world I ever got through them without completely losing my mind…my answer when I look back is always the same! It was all because of CL and his love for me. I have always heard that God is not going to put more on you than you can ever handle, but let me tell you that many nights and many mornings I have wondered how in the world I was going to get by. I was struggling with such a burden that every road felt like it was blocked completely; the pathway to better days seemed almost insurmountable at times…a better tomorrow was a mountain much too high to climb alone; it was an ocean too deep to swim and a desert too vast to cross! But our faith is supposed to sustain us and help us through all of today’s difficulties; as Christians we are supposed to persevere with strength and forbearance so we can face tomorrow.

I kept my appointment for the cat scan on Wednesday, October twenty-eighth just as Dr. Raybon had suggested. Another appointment was set up to see Dr. Raybon again on November ninth after he received the results of the scan. I will say that I have one thing going for me besides my wonderful loving family…my writing. Maybe I’m a little lucky in that way because writing is very good therapy for me. I can work at my computer all day writing fiction; killing off any necessary characters comes very easy to me but writing a true story that I have lived and suffered through is proving to be exceptionally hard. But through perseverance I force myself to stay so busy during the day that I’m sufficiently tired enough to actually be able to sleep at night. The Seaboard Festival was to be held on the thirty-first of October. We had also paid to set up a booth there as well as the John Blue Festival, and my sister, Margaret promised that she would come down that weekend to help me set up my booth so I could sell my books. That way I wouldn’t have to do it alone. I was so grateful that she had offered to help me with it so I wouldn’t have to do it all by myself this year. She drove down from Cary on Friday, October thirtieth and we loaded the books as well as my table, chairs and canopy tent into my car that night. I was so glad to have her with me that weekend. She spent the night with me and early the next morning, when the clock went off, I climbed out of bed and told her we had to get ready to leave. She said that I even started making up the bed while she was still in it. We had to laugh about that but I was so grateful that even through the rain she was with me all day. Even without CL I felt that I could handle it because I had Margaret with me and all my other sisters and brothers came by to help also. I didn’t feel so alone and helpless; I was so very thankful for their presence. I was lucky to be able to set my booth up right in front of a new establishment in Hamlet called the Sports Connection. This bar was being run by two good and very special friends, Jerry Suggs and Bobby McDougald. They had both grown up with my brothers in Hamlet. Bobby used to work with my brother, Jerry Lynn, on the railroad and had actually lived across the street from him in Pine Lakes for years. The Sports Connection at one time was actually called the Pool Room, where so

many teenage boys growing up in Hamlet spent a lot of their free time there in the afternoons or at night. In fact, our father used to go down there and Jerry Suggs re many an afternoon he spent with Mr. Austin. That morning was cold and rainy at first. I was very lucky that Jerry Suggs was already there. He came outside immediately to help Margaret and me set up the canopy, my table and chairs so I could display my books. It was wonderful to see the sun come out soon and the day warmed up drastically. During that day, I was lucky to have a lot of visitors who were enthusiastic about my books. I also was able to renew acquaintances that I had lost with when I moved to Laurinburg in 1969. I was grateful to be able to spend that night in our family home with my brother, Glenn, his wife Teena, my sisters Margaret and Karen, as well as her husband, Rick. Then all of us enjoyed lunch together the next day at the Seaboard Station, which was successfully run by our friends, Willard and Judy Page, before we had to return to our own homes. But to get back to basics…I can tell you from experience that there is a horrendous struggle every day to maintain your composure when you lose your mate; I was now without my partner, without a husband I had grown to love more every day; I had depended on him so much…I even depended on him to keep me sane and keep my feet on the right path of life. But life goes on; the rest of the world doesn’t change because your own world has changed so drastically. Naturally, after this happened there was a big change in my life…financially, emotionally as well as physically. I no longer had a husband to love me. Prior to his death, we were both drawing Social Security checks, CL had two retirement checks coming in every month; I had my state retirement as well; CL also made extra money working 19 hours a week at the hospital. After September twentysecond, my SS check was no longer available; as a widow I could draw on his now but not both. One of his retirement checks ran out with his death. I will still draw his other retirement check for a little while longer, but now I am down to my retirement check and Social Security. The same monthly bills still come in. I live in the same house so I still have the same utility bills as previously and gas prices seem to rise almost weekly. Of course, I don’t have to buy as many groceries, but now

I have to depend on my checks only for everyday sustenance. Some days I really have to force myself to get back out into life; it was hard to get up every morning and face that empty house daily but I made myself do it. I kept ing a saying that John Wayne once said: “Life is tough; but it’s even tougher if you’re stupid!” So I had to make up my mind that I was not going to be stupid. I am going to continue to write my books and greet people with a brave face. If I have tears in my eyes because I feel a little sad once in a while, then so be it! I don’t have to apologize for my sadness. It is my right. If there are several more wrinkles in my face since September twenty-second, then I also readily accept them…I earned them…because life is not a bowl of cherries. It is hard work, discipline and perseverance; there will be sadness as well as happiness sometimes; you just have to force yourself to go into battle every day if you are determined to achieve every single thing that you want to accomplish. But, I something CL told me during my nine-month struggle with cancer: “Honey, you must never give up; never give up on yourself. I love you; keep a bright outlook and depend on God’s love to bring you through; and I’m right here beside you.” So now, I can cheerfully say: “I had cancer; but cancer doesn’t have me!” I am a widow now, but I can also say: “I had abundant love in my life during those years with that wonderful man.” Throughout the weeks of November, several people came up to me and told me stories of the wonderful things that CL did for them besides building all those ramps for handicapped people. There was a woman in McColl who ed that he fixed her broken refrigerator and electric stove for her without accepting one cent of payment. One of the nurses at the hospital said she’d locked her keys in her car one day and CL used a coat hanger from the back of his truck to open the window for her so she could unlock her door. Another nurse told me that one night after everyone else had left at five, the battery of her car had run down. CL used jumper cables to start her car then made sure that it cranked up again before he left the hospital parking lot long after he had clocked out from work.

Dr. Purcell told me that when he had a garbage disposal installed in his house, he was told that he needed to have a red plate on the switch separating it from other light switches in the room. He said he looked everywhere for one. Finally, he went to CL one day then told him what he needed. CL brought him one the next day. He never told Dr. Purcell where he got it nor was he charged for it. That was just how CL did things; he was always kind to his fellow man! There were so many things that I didn’t realize he did because he never bragged about his good deeds. He did them out of the goodness of his heart. Some of the girls from Hospice told me about the patients who would sit patiently out in their wheelchairs in the front lobby every day in order to greet him. On the days CL worked there, he always stopped for a minute to speak to every one of them asking about their health. I know lots of times CL had a project at Hospice that he didn’t finish before he had to run back to the hospital to clock out because his nineteen hours were up; but still after clocking out, he went back to Hospice to make sure that job was completed even though it took several more hours while he worked off the clock. That was the kind of man he was. He would go overboard for any and every single person if they needed his help. I cannot count the number of times that CL was called in the middle of the night from the hospital during the thirty-three years he served as Director of the Engineering Department. Our phone would ring at one, two, three or even four o’clock in the morning…when I answered the phone, it was the standard question: “Is Mr. Witmore there?” So many times, I wanted to scream back at them: “Where in the world do you think he is at this time of the morning?” But of course I didn’t; instead I’d answer calmly, “Yes, ma’am, he’s right here.” He was always right there; so close beside me at night I could reach out and

touch him any time I wanted to. He’d take the phone, listen to the problem; sometimes he would be able to tell them what to do so he could go back to sleep…but nine times out of ten, he’d have to get up, get dressed, and go down to the hospital to fix whatever needed fixing because the man on call had been unable to handle it without assistance. He might come back home some mornings just in time to shower, get a cup of coffee and head back to work by eight…but sometimes, he’d just have to call me from work to tell me he was still working on the problem, and that I’d see him when he was finished with work that day. But, the hardest times of all for CL was during the hospital’s t Commission inspections. Everyone who is involved in the health care field knows about t Commission and the detailed inspections they give each time they come into a facility. I understand about how important it is to that inspection because ‘Mother Medicare’ was the same during the years I worked at the Home Health Agency. But, to get back to t Commission…CL would worry abut t Commission for weeks before they ever arrived…he spent many an hour after five p.m. checking and double-checking everything that he knew they would be interested in. He would bring home paper work that he had to sign off on…pages and pages that required signatures and he would sit up at the kitchen table all hours of the night until sometime way after midnight before he was satisfied enough to come to bed. CL wanted the best score for the hospital so he always strived for the ing score because that was the standard for hospitals. He was a perfectionist, very meticulous with all of the projects he took responsibility for…he wanted everything that he touched to be just right. He wasn’t that way at home or ever with me. He allowed me to straighten up the house at my leisure and he never fussed when the kids or grandchildren left their toys lying around, but he had a different standard during the day at work. His work ethics were very proficient and he handled his position efficiently. That was the kind of person I was married to…a good man, a generous man, a wonderful provider all of our married life; you always knew where you stood with CL. If he didn’t like something you did, he’d let you know about it in a

hurry, but he was generous to a fault; a very loving, forgiving man. Now I have lost the most important person in my life but I know that I have to go on living without him. I have sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, sisters and brothers…all who love me as much as I love them…as well as friends that I depend on and enjoy being with so much! When you lose someone that important to you it is almost like what’s happening is just a bad dream sequence…something that you had no control over at all, but you have to make the best of a terrible situation. I was now the head of my family…in fact I am the only one living in that big home place where we so lovingly have raised our three sons. After a diagnosis of cancer, every single day is a gift from God. Walt Whitman said: “To me, every hour of the day is an unspeakable perfect miracle”. I know that God has a plan for me; I just don’t know what it is right now. I just know how much my heart is breaking because of the love I have lost. I know that I have to accept that some breaks never heal. We just have to learn to live with them. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I know that I was blessed to have been married to a wonderful man for forty years. I know without a doubt that he loved me as much as I loved him. He would want me to go on with my life and I’m sure it will be complete and sustainable as long as I have my wonderful family always close by. I really don’t see my future with another man at all; I had the best and I don’t want the rest. I certainly don’t want to step down. A love like CL and I shared is ‘that-once-in-a-lifetime’ occurrence. Don’t get me wrong…I like going out and meeting new people; I enjoy talking to other men; I like to dance and go to parties the same as a lot of women who are energetic and full of life. In the future I may even meet someone and enjoy going out somewhere for dinner at some time or other, but it will never be serious on my part. I had a special love in my life and I know that I’ll go to my grave still loving that man. I know that CL would not want me to stay here in this house feeling miserable

all the time, so I intend to stay busy here at home as well as out in the community. There will be opportunities down the line when I can even help another prospective writer in some way or other…I don’t have a teaching degree but I have lots of college courses in my background and I have graduated from the school of hard knocks so I’m sure that I have enough experience under my belt to assist someone else down the road. I have also finished my fourth book: A Strange Encounter which will come out sometime in the spring of 2010. I have also made up my mind that I will absolutely remain just as busy in the future as possible. I intend to find other interests in my life besides keeping grandchildren and writing my books. None of us know how much longer we’re going to be here on earth so I will give of myself as much as I can if I can just stay healthy enough to be able to do all of those things. It is hard to think clearly when I think back to that night and realize what I have lost. CL was everything to me: my husband, my soul mate, my lover and tears fill my eyes because my heart has an empty spot in it. Yet, I have family who love me and me and would do anything for me, but there is an emptiness that used to be filled with love for that special man in my life. Grief leaves a hole that cannot be filled. Have you ever heard someone say that grief even hurts you physically? Well, it is actually a physical hurt. I believe the hardest part of healing after you’ve lost someone you loved, is to recover the ‘you’ that went away with them.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

C L and I used to love sitting out on our deck eating lunch or supper. Sometimes at night we would sit out there and listen to the owls hooting. There was always one in the back woods and another one across the street in the trees next to Chuck’s house. We would listen to them hooting back and forth to each other. CL and I decided that one might be a male and the other a female and they were in love and were speaking to each other in only owl language. Now sometimes at night I would sit out there and listen to those owls all by myself; but unfortunately I think they sound sad now and are not lovers but are as alone as I feel. But I can also think of happy times with CL; so many times we laughed together. Once he bought a motorcycle that he would ride back and forth to work. He talked me into climbing up behind him one afternoon and told me to hang on to his waistline so I did. But I didn’t expect the front wheel of that bike to come up off the ground; it startled me and I slid off the back to land on the hard ground right on my butt. CL had to laugh after he found out I was not hurt but I refused to get back up on that motor bike. One night I ed back the wonderful retirement party the Hospital gave CL in 2002. There were lots of hospital personnel there as well as family and friends and I ed the song The Chord of Three sang. It was so beautiful that both CL and I had tears in our eyes. I was holding on to Claire who was only about three and a half months old and very beautiful. We were both so proud of her. I also had to laugh when I ed one summer when we were all in the back yard at Granny’s. CL was putting water in the trough out in the pasture for the horse he had at that time. A lizard jumped up CL’s jean legs and he was so startled that he jumped high enough for me to see the top of the fence beneath his feet. CL made wonderful friends during his years at Scotland Memorial who have certainly continued to be dear friends of mine after his funeral. One of them is

Paul Brooks who also knows Kevin and his family there in Robeson County. Yes, I have good memories along with the bad. My next appointment with Dr. Raybon was on Monday, November ninth. I had to ask Sally to come over to watch Sherry for me because Sirena kept her home from school that day due to a slight fever and I didn’t want to take her to the hospital with me. During my appointment that day he talked with me about the results of the October cat scan. There were still some small residual cancer edges around the very top of the liver but considerably less than the earlier scans. My blood work was good and the CA 125 which is the cancer indicator number was down in the teens so he was very pleased with those results. The normal level is thirty-seven. Just after my cancer surgery back in March, the level had been much higher so any level below thirty-seven was a very good indicator that we might have the cancer somewhat on the run. That first year is always a good anniversary to try to achieve; the second year the outcome is even better; then by the third year, you might even be able to breathe with a deep sigh of relief. Dr. Raybon did talk about the hernia that had developed beneath my incisions which seemed to be growing somewhat. He cautioned me again about lifting anything weighing more than fifteen pounds but when you live alone… sometimes you have no choice but to lift things that might weigh more. He did say that surgery was not necessary at this time unless I started having bladder or bowel problems, nausea or if a lot of pain should ever develop. He did tell me that I didn’t have to return to him until late in January which would be at least two months from now. Then later next year he would arrange another cat scan and the necessary blood work. One step forward and two steps backward…that’s always the way it is with cancer but, I knew very well that I could not give in to my despair. There were family depending on me… a wonderful little boy and precious little girl who always arrive after school every day plus all my other family …so I have to keep a stiff upper lip and go on taking each day as it comes. The rest of the morning and that afternoon were completely uneventful. A little after six that afternoon I drove over to Pembroke. Kevin and Marie’s choir were

singing at the Pembroke Family Fellowship Church and the music, words and especially the harmony were all absolutely wonderful. They are all so very talented…so many young people around the same age with the same desire to sing about God’s love and His promise of heaven for everyone who believes in Him. Michelle, Marie’s older sister, is an accomplished pianist and writes most of their music as well as the verses in the songs. Sometimes she even writes the music for some of the books in the Bible. Each one of those choir really concentrate their focus on the love of Jesus and the importance of Christ dying on the cross to save us from our sins. I had taken Bible courses in college and was taught to accept God’s word as Gospel so I firmly believe that the only sin that will keep you out of heaven is rejection of Jesus Christ so during that singing that night I thought a lot about CL. I know that he is in heaven and I do believe that I’ll be reunited with him one day so I intend to keep my faith so that I’ll also be there. On the drive back to Laurinburg, I had a lot of time to think about my life and the months ahead of me. I knew that the holidays this year were going to be especially rough for all of us. It would be our first Thanksgiving and Christmas without CL’s commanding presence. Also this would be the first Christmas Chris and his family would not be able to come home to be with us…we had always been privileged to have all three of our sons with us at Christmas; no matter how much Chris traveled abroad during the year, he was home for that holiday. It was still early in November but not too soon to be worrying about the Thanksgiving holiday that I would have to face for the first time without CL. Through the years we had always enjoyed a wonderful feast at Thanksgiving with all the family; there were many different kinds of delicious food included each year; and CL loved to eat more than any man I have ever known. He loved good southern cooking and his sister, Sally, and his mother, Katie, were two of the best cooks besides my mother and grandmother that I’ve ever seen; they certainly beat me by a mile. This year he would not be here to enjoy it with us so I knew that I had to get my mind on something other than worrying about Thanksgiving Day activities. I

desperately needed some type of diversion; something I could actually look forward to. Well, thanks be to God…ask and you shall receive! Two days later, Chris called me from Lubbock, Texas inviting me to fly down to Texas the week after Thanksgiving. He also said that I was going to receive an invitation for a baby shower that some of his friends were throwing for them on December fifth at another professor’s house. So as sad as I knew I was going to be during that holiday, I certainly had something wonderful to look forward to. I would get to see Chris, Liz and their precious Eli. Also I would be able to visit the home they had purchased in Texas for the very first time. Oh, what a blessing that telephone call was. I was actually crying happy tears when I went to the computer to book my flights; and true to his word, when I opened up my email that night, there was an invitation for the baby shower Chris said that I would soon receive.

One Sunday afternoon after visiting with a friend in Southern Pines, I drove back home down #1 highway to stop in Hoffman before I came back to Laurinburg. I wanted to see all the changes that might have been made around that community or even on the two-story house we Austins had lived in before we moved to Long Wood Park in Hamlet. I had been out that way before riding around with CL and knew that everything there had changed but I never took the time to stop and explore. The house we lived in stood in the middle of a dirt driveway overlooking several trees in the yard, which were either nonexistent while we were living there or were very small at the time. Seeing this house was very nostalgic. Those years with my parents and my five brothers and sisters were very special and though we were not the richest family in that small community, we certainly were one of the happiest. We rode bicycles together; we walked the short mile over to Broad Acres Pond in the summer time, never thinking that it was dangerous not to have an adult around to supervise us. We all learned to swim during those years and we loved

going out to the ditch bank at the back of our house and swing from one side of the other on heavy vines, with both my brothers giving us a delighted ‘Tarzan yell’. Although the dirt road we walked down then is now paved, the house there seemed the same still standing majestically with a small balcony outside the center window above the front door. The Post Office where we picked up our mail and the Butler Store where Mother sent me many days to pick up a few groceries are not there any longer. Across from the Post Office was the railroad station, but that is closed up now. The residents there now there have individual mailboxes at the end of all the drives. I pulled into the edge of the drive facing the house; it’s painted a different color now but the façade and shape of the house is still much the same. I used to love to sit out there on the banister in the sun but my young sister, Karen, was so afraid that I was going to fall and she said she didn’t want me out there at all. I had to smile as I ed the laughter and the noise from the days and nights we spent in that house. Mother and Daddy’s bedroom was downstairs but there were three bedrooms upstairs. The girls all slept in the room on the left facing the road, the boys in the one on the right but the room at the very top of the steps was called ‘the junk room’. There was never a door on that room you could close so the doorway just stayed open all the time. But I told my younger brothers and sisters that there were monsters living in there…so we all ran really fast by that door at night afraid that something would reach out and grab us. Of course there wasn’t anything scary about it during the day. There were four large windows in there so the room had plenty of light and we actually enjoyed playing there when the weather outside was too cold or rainy but we didn’t slow down by that room when we went upstairs to go to bed at night. There were lots of changes out in Longwood Park also. It is now called Dobbins Heights and the house where we lived in before moving to Entwistle Street is no longer there. None of the close neighbor’s houses are there now either, but a few of them are boarded up and there are only a few familiar houses still standing.

For the trip out to Lubbock after Thanksgiving, I was able to obtain a Southwest

flight out of Raleigh then return back there a week later. I would leave Raleigh the afternoon of Tuesday, December first then I would return on Monday, December seventh. When I talked to my sisters, they urged me not to try to drive all the way to Raleigh and back home alone. Dianne was worried that I might get upset thinking about CL while I was driving then start crying while I was all alone; she said that she and Sam would be glad to drive me half-way, which was almost to Sanford then Karen and Ricky would meet us there for dinner. Then I would be able to spend Monday night with Karen and when I returned to Raleigh the following Monday Margaret would pick me up so I’d spend that night with her then Karen would drive me back down to meet Dianne and Sam the next afternoon so they could bring me back home. So I was able to get through Thanksgiving with the help of my sons, Kevin and Chuck, along with their wonderful wives, Granny, Sally, David and Devin as well as those five darling grandchildren. Dinner was wonderful, of course, although we did miss CL so much; we knew that he would really have enjoyed that delicious meal with us but it just wasn’t meant to be. I knew that there would be another holiday coming up in December that I would have to face alone but my spirits picked up after Thanksgiving while I was making plans to fly to Lubbock, Texas in December to see Chris, Liz and little Eli.

The weekend before my trip, I only packed Christmas sweaters and vests to go with jeans and dress pants. This wasn’t the time for sadness; we had a special day coming up that we needed to celebrate…the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ and what His coming means to the world. Dianne and Sam picked me up in Laurinburg then drove me to meet Karen and Rick then we all ate dinner together at one of the diners there on the #1 highway. Karen was very excited because she said that she might be off all day on Tuesday so we could spend it together before I had to make my flight unless she was called in for something critical. Karen is a Nursing Anesthetist and she is very much in demand.

Indeed Karen was off on Tuesday and we enjoyed our morning together very much. We made plans to meet our sister, Margaret, for lunch with Karen’s daughter, Raven and it great to see her, as well as Margaret and her daughter, Nicky. We enjoyed our time together. Karen and I went back to the dentist office to see the very good-looking Dr. John Woodell. Margaret had been working with him for years and he bought my last two books. He had previously bought Wheels of Danger the summer of 2008 but still had not purchased Treacherous Hearts or The Voodoo Doll but he was glad to get them that day. Of course, he wanted me to sign them for him. Then Karen drove me over to the airport where I went through the whole preboarding procedure this time all alone. I had to check in, pick up my flight schedule; show my picture ID as well as other details then I had to go through that thorough check-point by those TSA attendants before I was finally allowed to sit down in a chair to wait until my flight to Texas was called. I had brought a good book with me to read but as I sat there I kept thinking about the last time I had been on an airplane so I took a deep breath then blinked back sad tears. The last time I’d boarded a plane was back in June when CL and I had enjoyed a wonderful vacation with Chris’s family in Rhode Island. When CL and I flew from Boston back to Charlotte we were so happy because we had had such a wonderful time. Of course, my eyes began to water even more as I thought about what a joyful time we had that trip, but now I was on my own.

I was actually going to board a plane for the first time since my marriage without CL holding my hand and telling me that everything was going to be all right. You see, I have had a fear of flying since that Sunday afternoon we had the trouble up in that little Cessna plane…it just simply scares me to be that far up above the earth because if something goes wrong in that airplane, there are no parachutes available and that’s a long way to fall. CL was always the strong one; the one who always kept assuring me that we would be all right. When they finally announced my flight, I closed my book and stood in line with

the rest of the engers. My ticket was checked and I was allowed to find my seat. I sat down and out of a long, ingrained habit, I watched every other person as they came on board. I guess I was searching for the one who might end up causing trouble on our flight. I can’t help but be suspicious if I see someone who looks like one of the criminals described in my books. I just wanted to make sure that everyone on board was as glad to be alive as I was. As the plane started up and slowly taxied down the runway, I closed my eyes and prayed that our flight would be uneventful and that everything would be all right. There were a lot of soldiers in uniform on that flight with me going out to the Fort Worth/Dallas airport where I had to change planes to get to Lubbock. I was carrying Chris’s flag that had been ordered when I was presented with mine back in September. I kept that flag and held on to it like a talisman. It was my one connection to CL although it wasn’t the same one that had graced his casket during the services, but it was one that had been especially ordered for his sons. Kevin and Chuck had already taken theirs home and placed them in a keepsake box with a glass cover. I was taking this one to present to Chris and Liz. The young soldier across the aisle saw my tears and then he looked down in my lap at the flag I was holding because I couldn’t zip up my purse all the way with the flag inside. He asked me if that flag had belonged to a loved one. I told him that it was one I had ordered for my son in Texas after his father’s funeral but it had not arrived in time to give it to him before he left to return home in September. He wanted to know what branch of service CL was in and I told him about his years in the Air Force as well as the year he spent in Viet Nam. I also told him that we were so proud of the soldiers and what they were doing today to keep Americans safe. As bad as the war in Iraq and Afghanistan was, at least the citizens in the USA lived on peaceful soil. He smiled as he agreed with me; I also told him that I was thankful that CL had not come back from Viet Nam a broken and bitter man like so many other veterans. His personality had not changed at all and we were so thankful for that, but that he was only sixty-six when he died. I felt that was much too young to die. He agreed with me but then told me about some of the young GI’s in his unit

who had been killed during the year so I knew then that there were a lot more women like me, mothers as well as wives, who were surely missing their loved ones that December just as much as we were missing CL. Although you still have an ache in your heart for your own loss, you come to realize that there are others out there who have lost just as much as you have, if not more, so I tried not to be sad during the rest of my flight. No matter how bad you might consider that your life is, you can always find someone else out there with more troubles than you yourself have. All of the men and women in uniform got off our plane in Dallas; there were a lot of the engers who stood up and clapped for them as they walked off that plane. They still had to leave Dallas then go to Fort Hood where they were all scheduled for some counseling, debriefing and rehabilitation training. I was able to change planes in Dallas with no problem and finally I was on my way to Lubbock. At night, there’s not much you can see from the air, but I could see lights of towns once in a while when I looked out my window but they were sporadic and very far in between. Thankfully, while I was waiting for my bags in the luggage return area, my wonderful son, Chris, came in. He picked up my heavy bag so I only had my purse and my carry-on to worry about. On the drive back to his house, he drove through Lubbock showing me some of the shops down the streets of town then we rode down by the boulevard where the Texas Tech campus was located. I was fascinated by the flat country; everywhere I looked, I could see flat land as far as the eye could see; there were bushes but very few trees. I had been in Oklahoma before but I certainly didn’t that it was this flat. You could see forever because there were no trees in sight. I did see a lot of windmills and high towers with flashing lights but not much else. I recalled then hearing one of the guys behind me on the airplane say that if you stood in Lubbock on a clear night, you could see half-way to Dallas. That was over five hours away so I thought he had been exaggerating at the time, but now as I looked around me, I realized that just might have been a true statement. Of course by the time I arrived at their house, Eli was asleep but Liz welcomed me so warmly that of course I couldn’t be disappointed about not seeing that

precious grandchild until the next morning. They gave me a wonderful room upstairs and Chris brought my luggage up so I unpacked, then quickly hung my clothes up before I went back downstairs for a long talk with Chris and Liz. I enjoyed the next few days very much. When I saw Liz in September, she was barely showing but now you could tell that she was really pregnant. We talked about the baby she would have probably this time next month. The next morning Eli was so happy to see that Gan-ma was here to see him and we had a good time playing all morning. Chris had to go to class at Tech for a few hours but it was relatively warm outside so Liz, Eli and I took a stroll up and down some of the neighborhood streets. I was fascinated by all of the Spanish looking houses around their neighborhood but Liz explained that they were only about fifty miles from New Mexico. I enjoyed meeting some of the neighbors and I was very excited about the baby shower that was going to be held on Saturday morning. Liz said that I would be able to meet a lot of the other professors and friends who worked with Chris there, so I was also looking forward to that. The rest of the week flew by. I enjoyed being with Liz and Eli so much during the day. She had him on a great schedule. He took a short nap every morning and another one in the afternoon after lunch. When he woke up from his nap, the first thing he wanted was a snack so she prepared fruit slices and cheese and crackers. He loved grapes, apples, oranges and bananas. He was easy to please and such a happy little boy, laughing and clapping his hands a lot. His eyes would just sparkle when Liz told him that it was almost time for his daddy to come home. When he heard him at the door, he’d squeal. “Gan-ma, Daddy’s here!” He was so excited I could not help but be excited myself. One night Chris took me over to the Cap Rock Café. I loved it. They had the coldest beer they served in frozen mugs as well as some delicious food. There was a printed saying all around the room just below the ceiling. It said: “The road goes on forever…but the party never ends!” I thought sadly about how much CL would have enjoyed being there. He liked parties, good food and happy crowds eating out together. There was a lot of different foods there and I was able to meet a lot of Chris’s friends and fellow professors…some were new but I had met several of them earlier the year that

Chris and Liz were married at that inn near Asheville. On Friday night I was privileged to attend a party with Chris at one of his professor’s houses out at the Cap Rock Canyon. He had numerous paintings displayed all over his house and some of the furniture was amazing; he had a lot of it made to his own specifications. The master bedroom had three walls of floor to ceiling shelves where he had stored lots of old books. He also collected old detective books written only by men; he said he didn’t like to read books that were written by women. The house was extraordinary to say the least! It sat right on the edge of a high cliff and the outside deck actually was suspended out over a deep gorge. When several other people stepped outside on the deck, I moved back inside rather quickly. I didn’t want to be out there if too much weight caused that deck to shift and fall. At the baby shower on Saturday I was glad to meet so many of their friends as well as talk to the ones I had met previously. There were several men there as well because the shower was for both Chris and Liz. Eli slept through most of the activity but they certainly did receive a lot of nice gifts for the new baby. We had a lot of fun during those days in Texas. Chris drove the four of us out to the Canyon again on Sunday afternoon and I loved it out there. It was so deep and vast I could see so much more during the day. As we rode down the highway on our way back to Lubbock, I was fascinated to see those little prairie dogs popping up out of their holes like little ‘Jack-in-the-Boxes’ as we drove by. I had never seen so many of those little creatures. They also took me out to a Ranch. It wasn’t actually a working western ranch but there were a lot of little buildings around the National Ranching Heritage Center where years ago that land had belonged to Texas Tech. There was an excavation actually going on out there that we were able to see from the driveway. We also went into the gift shop there where I purchased some Texas Christmas ornaments to go on my tree when I decorated it later in the month. I bought a Texas license plate, a dancing cowgirl and metal replica of a tall tengallon Texas hat to hang up as well.

Of course, Monday came much too soon and I had to leave, but at least I had

been with Chris, Liz and Eli some in December and I completely understood that they would not be able to come all the way back to North Carolina for the Christmas holidays. But they had picked out a Christmas tree already and were going to decorate it soon so Eli was excited about that. They promised to send me some pictures of Eli around the Christmas tree so when Chris took me to the airport, I tried not to cry, but of course I did anyway. I hated to leave them out there so far away from the rest of us. Here at home, Chuck and Kevin live only twenty miles apart so they have each other when they are sad about their dad, but Chris only has Liz and Eli out there in Texas with him; they also are so far away from the rest of Liz’s family too. It takes all day to fly out there because there are no direct flights into Lubbock by any of the airlines. You have to change at least one time, if not twice; it would take twenty-eight hours to drive it straight through, so as beautiful as the actual state is and the Texas Tech campus is wonderful to visit, it is a long way from nowhere! I had taken their Christmas presents out there with me so I left them under their Christmas tree so they could enjoy them together on Christmas Day. My flight took me back through Dallas and then on to Raleigh; thankfully with no problems with the airplane. Margaret picked me up at five-thirty p.m. as promised and drove me over to Karen’s then we all went out to eat. Afterward I went home with Margaret and we talked until she had to go to bed. She has to go to bed early during the week because she has to leave at seven the next morning to get to work by eight. She called me the next morning and I came down to have breakfast with her before she left for work. Then I sat down to read in my book for a couple of hours because I knew that Karen would not be able to take me to meet Dianne and Sam until she left work sometime after eleven. When Sam met us in Sanford, unfortunately, Dianne was not with him. She had to stay home so she could pick up her two grandchildren when they got out of school that afternoon. I hated for anyone have to go to so much trouble for me even though they insisted they didn’t mind doing that, but during the drive back

to Laurinburg, I made up my mind that the very next time I flew out to Texas, I was going to drive my own car up to Raleigh. Then I could then leave it at Karen’s, then have her take me to the airport on her way to work one morning and someone could pick me up the afternoon I returned after they got off work. If I stayed with Karen that night then the next morning, I could leave when she went to work and drive home myself. At that particular time I did not realize that a second trip back out to Texas would happen so fast, but I had planned to fly back to Texas sometime in January after the new baby arrived.

Since Liz was supposed to have a C-section the first week of that month she had arranged for her mother to come during the baby’s birth; she would stay about ten days so she could help Liz when she came home from the hospital; then if possible I would fly back out there to help Liz when Charlotte had to return back home. We had talked about that while I was out there visiting with them that first week in December.

Chapter Twenty Nine

G etting ready to face the Christmas season that year was really a daunting prospect to say the least, because this year would be the first Christmas in forty years that I didn’t have CL by my side. He never was as excited about getting ready for Christmas as I was, but he always enjoyed the festivities when all the hard work of wrapping presents was done. We would also be sad that Chris and his family could not come home to celebrate with us either. I couldn’t run to CL any longer to show him what I had just purchased for one of our sons or daughters-in-law or our wonderful grandchildren. This year I would have to do it all on my own. I thought about this with a heavy heart and the realization that there were probably many, many more holidays to come that I would have to face things like this all alone. Since CL wasn’t here to pick out our Optimist Christmas tree this year I decided that I couldn’t handle one of those big trees by myself. Instead, I went down to Wal-mart and picked out a very small tree with the lights already built in as well as a little table that I could set it up on. Kevin came one night after that to visit me so he cheerfully offered to go up into the attic to pull out all the boxes of Christmas decorations that CL and I had collected over the past forty years. He stacked them all up in the hall upstairs so for the next three or four days, I was able to bring a small container downstairs one at the time so I could start decorating for the holidays. I really thought I was being very careful as I brought the boxes down one at a time but when I tried to bring the box down with all of our candle decorations and stocking hangers, my foot slipped on the fourth step from the bottom so, of course, I lost my balance and ended up flat on my back half-way in the bathroom door. The container of all breakable objects landed on me so luckily I didn’t break any of them but I did twist my knee so for the next three or four weeks I had a hard time walking around. The knee didn’t swell and since the pain went away with a couple of Advil, I didn’t go to the doctor to have it evaluated. As stubborn as I am, I figured that it wasn’t really anything serious so I decided to cure myself. Instead I picked up an Ace bandage at Wal-mart and just prescribed

heat and elevation myself. I decorated the mantle out in our great room just as I had in the past with a stocking hanging on the fireplace for every one of the Witmore sons, wives as well as their children. CL and I had purchased stocking hangers in the past every single time a new person came into our family and placed them on that beautiful mantle. That mantle that CL had hand-cut from a gorgeous old tree; it measures seven and a half feet long, four inches in depth and the top is seven inches wide. He sanded it down then used a glossy finish on it.

Through the years I have placed a lot of decorative vases, candles and pictures on it, but at Christmas I only use the stocking hangers along with a colorful swag and the stockings for decoration at Christmas. I only hung up twelve that year; one for Chuck, Sirena, Chaz and Sherry as well as Chris, Liz, and Eli although I took their gifts out to Texas when I went out there after Thanksgiving. I also had one for Kevin, Marie, Claire, Lance and Emma. I didn’t hang up one for CL or myself. Sirena wanted me to spend Christmas Eve over at their house so I would not be here alone for the first time so she promised to hang up a stocking at their house for me. Santa Claus has always come to the Witmore house. CL told our sons years ago that Santa would always bring them something as long as they believed. They have always told me that “they believe”. I have always purchased the gifts for every one; CL always generously added money to their stockings. Santa brings a big bag of different things for each grandchild but the adults also have a lot of gifts to unwrap Christmas day. We’ve always spent way too much money when we celebrated the holiday but when CL had looked over what I purchased for each person, if he didn’t think it was enough he’d just have me go shopping again to buy something else for everyone. He was always very generous with me also. Although he would always slip a surprise or two under the tree for me, I always ended up with money in my stocking so I could go shopping the day after the holiday when everything went on sale. It was so much fun after the grandchildren started coming along…their presents were never wrapped up in packages they could unwrap; instead everything was

always placed in those big decorative Christmas bags big enough for them to crawl into so they could see what was inside. Although it would be different this year, I still have my good memories. One of the funniest things I is the first time CL played Santa Claus for the children over at the Baptist Church…we were in the Fellowship Hall; Sherry would turn three on February ninth and Chaz had just turned four on December seventeenth. The children were all lined up to speak to Santa by their ages so Sherry was standing right in front of Chaz. She didn’t want to go up to talk to Santa at all; she had seen one over at the shopping center a few days before and was a little hesitant about talking to this one but I urged her to go on up to him. I told her that I’d stay right beside her. I picked her up and put her on Santa’s lap. He had leaned down to whisper: “Hey, Sherry; what do you want Santa to bring you for Christmas this year?” She recognized his voice and squealed: “Pa?” He nodded as he hugged her. Sherry was never afraid of Santa after that. Well we were able to get through Christmas that year of 2009 without CL but I confess that it was extremely difficult and of course my knee continued to ache all during the holidays. It was the worst Christmas I’ve ever had. This was the very first Christmas holiday without both CL and Chris being with us. They were unable to travel to North Carolina because it was much too close to Liz’s due date. The baby would be born in a few weeks so we had to accept that they would not be with us this year because they really had a good reason.

We had to change our plans slightly so we could start a different tradition. We always had a get together on Christmas Eve with family and really close friends then the family would meet again Christmas morning for breakfast and exchange gifts. This year Sirena and Chuck told me that they didn’t want me staying at home overnight by myself this Christmas Eve…which would have been the first one I’d ever spent by myself in my whole life; so they made special plans for me come over to their house to stay with them.

Sirena even hung up a stocking on her little mantle for me just like the one for the four of them and Santa actually came to see me as well as the children. I was very grateful that they had asked me to stay with them. Christmas morning after the children enjoyed their Santa presents for a little while, I came home to make sure Santa Claus would come to see the grandchildren here at my house. In the past we have always eaten Christmas breakfast together out at Granny’s house then we would exchange presents with all of our family afterward, but CL had really enjoyed those times so much that we decided not to have breakfast together that day. Granny or Sally had always cooked liver pudding for CL to stir into his grits as a special treat for Christmas so we thought it was better to change our habits now. Instead Chuck and Kevin had decided they would bring their families to my house after breakfast then we could exchange presents with all of them then. We planned to have Christmas dinner at Granny’s later on that day. Of course Chris called and talked to all of us, wishing everyone a Merry Christmas. He and Liz and little Eli were alone out there in Texas but they had a good day and they were missing us as much as we were missing them. Of course the end of a holiday is always a complete let down and this year was the very worst one of all for me; but thankfully because we had changed our tradition that year, we were able to get through the rough times. Sherry came and spent Christmas night with me and I enjoyed her company very much. Since they were out of school until after New Year’s, I stayed busy during the day taking care of Chaz and Sherry while Sirena and Chuck went back to work so the little ones were a lot of joy for me; they kept me busy and my mind off my sorrow; I had to stay cheerful with them because it bothered them when I cried. I’ve managed to bits and pieces of statements CL and I made to each other or we heard on television but several days later the following verses of several different songs kept going through my mind: “Walk with me beside the still waters; Take my hand and show me that you care.

Hold me in your arms and tell me that you love me; Because in your arms is where I want to be!” During my sad times, I try to those words. I’m not at all sure which song they were originated in or even who sang them, but I liked those words so I try to things like that when I need to prop myself back up so I can face those endless, empty days ahead of me.

Chapter Thirty

O n December twenty-seventh, 2009, I received a really a big surprise! Chris called informing me that Liz had gone into early labor so they were on their way to the hospital right then. Liz’s mother, Charlotte, was in a plane on her way out there. Since Liz had to have a C-section and would require help after she came back home, Chris wanted me to make plans to come in a week or so, then I would be able to help Liz after her mother returned back home. Yes, that was a good plan. Now, I really had something to look forward to…the birth of another grandchild. It would be sad because this would be the first one that CL would not be able to enjoy with us but I was excited that I would be able to go back to Texas so soon. I immediately secured my flight reservations back to Lubbock. This time I would have a couple of hours lay over in Las Vegas before I boarded the plane for Lubbock so I packed my bags again and planned for another trip out to Texas. Chris called back later that afternoon. The baby was born by then and Liz and that baby were both fine. They had another beautiful boy they named Liam Jamison. I was so excited for him so I told him that I had made my plane reservations and would arrive out there the day after Charlotte left to return home to Wake Forest. Sally agreed to keep Chaz and Sherry for me. I wanted to celebrate the birth of this second baby in a special way so I ordered a bottle of Dom Perignon champagne so we could toast the birth of this new baby as soon as Liz was feeling better. This time I drove my car to Raleigh all by myself. Karen was still at work so Rick met me just on the outskirts of Cary so I followed him over to their house. I was waiting for her when she came in from work then Margaret came over a little bit later so we had a good night visiting together.

The next morning Karen drove me to the airport to catch my flight out to Texas. I loved the trip out to Las Vegas. I met a wonderful lady from Greensboro who was flying out to California to see her first grandchild. Her name was Katie Edson. We started talking about how much we both liked to read. She loved the writer, Sue Grafton, just as much as I did so we talked about other writers that we both enjoyed reading. Then I told her about my books and we exchanged email addresses, promising that we would try to stay in touch with each other. As we flew over white clouds and mountain ranges covered with snow at 10,000 feet altitude I saw the sun sparkle on those fluffy clouds before they became crystallized ice spores. We flew over rain clouds and even saw a rainbow high in the sky. I saw the Las Vegas strip from the airplane for the very first time as we descended. We parted there at the Las Vegas airport; Katie went on to board a plane to take her to California while my plane would take me south to Texas. I had about a three hour lay-over at the airport so I found one of the one-armed bandits and started playing. I was able to play with the same twenty dollars for the next couple of hours on a Wheel of Fortune slot machine until the money was all gone but I enjoyed it the whole time I was playing. Then they were calling my flight to Lubbock and I had something else to look forward to. I would be with Chris, Liz and their two sons very soon. I saw parts of the gorge leading into the Grand Canyon when we were leaving Nevada, then from high above the clouds after they dissipated, I was able to watch ships as they chugged down rivers that I’d never seen before. Chris picked me up at the airport again. Eli was still up this time so I got to spend a little bit of time with him before he had to go to bed. Baby Liam was now about two weeks old and was fast asleep when I arrived but I was able to look in on him. I was certainly looking forward to seeing more of him the next morning. During the next two weeks, I held that precious new grandson tight in my arms and watched him grow bigger every day. I played with Eli or watched him play on the floor for hours; I was able to hold the baby often. Liz assured me that holding him while he was that young would not spoil him at all. I really enjoyed those next few days with Chris and his family. I saw the sights

of Lubbock and looked across flat sprawling fields for miles with numerous little prairie dogs popping their heads up as we rode by. I walked for miles with Chris and Liz and their wonderful sons all around Cap Rock Canyon; I could not walk as fast as they could because of my knee injury and I saw the red high towering crevices everywhere I looked. We went back out to the Heritage Center where I saw the old west through their pictures and read information posted outside the old ranch buildings that had all been historically renovated. As we toured some of the rooms that were built just the same as they were during the previous century, I thanked the good Lord for the modern conveniences in my home today with closets and our indoor bathrooms. I saw small graveyards of babies and their very young mothers then realized that women who lived in the 1700-1800’s really had a rough, uneasy and dangerous life. They suffered through all types of diseases sometimes without any medicine at all and there were no hospitals available back then. Nine times out of ten, most people died in the same bed where they were born. Before I was even ready to leave, it was time to go back to the airport for my return home to Laurinburg. I hated to leave the baby and young Eli because I knew that by the summer when I would see them again, they would both be a lot bigger and probably would have to get to know me all over again. From Lubbock, I would be on an airplane from five-twenty a.m. until fivefifteen p.m. that afternoon except for a couple of wonderful hours spent in Austin, Texas. Chris and Liz’s really good friend met me for breakfast and it was so much fun to speak with her again. Elizabeth Sharp was also a professor from Tech who was now on a sabbatical there in Austin; she was kind enough to offer to drive out to the airport to meet me for breakfast. As we drove over to the restaurant, I was grateful to be able to see some of the sights within Austin’s city limits. I really enjoyed the time I spent with her and was looking forward to seeing her again during my future trips to Lubbock.

I thank heaven above for the expertise of the experienced pilots and the wonderful care provided by Southwest flight attendants. This time when the plane left Austin, we flew north all the way to Philadelphia. I didn’t have to

change planes there, but we had a stop over there before returning to the Raleigh-Durham airport. From the plane I saw the ocean high above the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area. I have always enjoyed traveling so seeing states from the air is totally different than driving through them in a car. I was very tired when I finally landed in Raleigh and then spent the evening with my sisters before driving back to Laurinburg the next day to return to my lonely house out on the Gibson Road.

You have to accept that cancer is an ongoing battle for life…it won’t go away just because you wish it would…but you can’t give up no matter how much you might want to. During some of the very bad times when you’re feeling especially low, you have to ask yourself ‘how much more of this can I take?’ But, there’s no answer forthcoming. You just have to wait and see for yourself! I have a future; everyday I may have another obstacle that I have to overcome in my life, but I will not let it control me; I will handle it to the very best of my ability. I absolutely refuse to be a victim…I am a survivor and I will continue to survive no matter how hard it is for however long the good Lord gives me! God doesn’t make any JUNK. Everyone must realize that they are really worth something because there is always something worthy that can be found in every single one of us. We just have find out exactly what it is. When we get to heaven, our bodies won’t be scarred and ravaged by cancer. We’ll be perfect once again. We’ll have new bodies without pain, without fear of cancer, and without having to deal with the loss of loved ones. I still miss CL every day of my life and I’ll go on missing him until I him one day. But I’m not giving up. I’m going to fight as long as I am able. In the eyes of God we are all important of His universe and it is up to each one of us to discover what that special something is; then we just have to do as much as we can to make the best life for ourselves that we can. Faith, trust and dependence on God will make everything easier. That way the promise of rainbows to come will make every difficulty appear small and easy to overcome.

Life is like a roller coaster; you’re going to face many ups and downs, go around curves and then travel on straight roads; there will be good days when the house is filled with people and laughter, then there will be days when being all alone leaves you so grief-stricken that you can hardly see straight. There are four kinds of people in the world: Those that MAKE things happen; those who WATCH things happen; those who WONDER what happened; and those who don’t know that ANYTHING happened. During those first few weeks if I was gone somewhere then started to return home, I’d stop my car right there in the driveway; I’d see my empty house facing me without any welcoming lights so I’d just want to back out of that drive and then just go away…go anywhere just as far as the gas in my tank would take me…just as long as I didn’t have to walk into that empty house all alone. Since those first really sad days, I have learned to leave a radio playing in my house when I leave to go somewhere; I also have learned to leave a light burning in the kitchen over my sink…that way I can at least pretend for a little while that there is someone there to welcome me home like so many days during the past years. Since CL retired several years before I did, there were lots of days when he would be waiting there in the great room for me when I came home from work at five. But, of course, now the only welcoming light at all is the one I turn on myself before I leave. But, I guess every person at one time or another has to face their life alone. It is not an easy task at all; you just have to make up your mind that you’re going to get through it regardless of how hard things might turn out to be. As I have said before I have learned that you can never take life for granted. You have to accept the cards you have been dealt regardless of what they may be. The number one rule for success is: You have to believe in yourself first. The hardest thing I’ve ever gone through in my entire life is the loss of my husband. Not losing my parents, even as much as that hurt, I was able to get through it because I still had CL to lean on each time that happened…not even my cancer! Not my surgery! Not all the hours of chemo-therapy…nothing compares to losing him. For losing CL at the age of sixty-six was the one thing that I’m afraid I am not

going to be able to get over very easily…it’s hard to get through each and every day, but eventually good memories seem to over-shadow the bad ones. Some days I find that I can even smile again because I have such wonderful memories of a good marriage and many memories of a good man who lived life to the fullest and enjoyed every minute of it; and by golly he was MINE for all of those forty years! I didn’t lose him to another woman; God took him!

My dear reader, please cherish your spouse as long as you have one; cherish your children and your grandchildren. They are the future! Without them and without the family you love life would be unbearable; but NOW when I think back to the years that CL and I shared together, I the good times I was able to have with my wonderful husband; with those memories I am able to face my tomorrows with a steadfast, optimistic heart. I could not have gotten through some of those awful days in 2009 if not for all of my family who rallied around me. They gave me unconditional love and because of this, they gave me the strength to go on through the darkness so I would be able to face the future, which of course, is always unknown to us; only God can see our future; there is nothing He doesn’t know; the Bible tells us that He even knows the number of hairs on our head. He is our future; He is our hope and our help in all things. We have to that our family is only loaned to us for a little while; they actually all belong to Him.

I have wonderful memories of my life and the unconditional love that CL and I shared. The devil can try but he will not be able to snatch those memories away from me because the Lord is my shepherd and He’s always with me! I’m not giving up on life; I’m going to begin my exercise classes again; I’m going to the Chamber of Commerce as well as one of the Pilot Club organizations; I want to a book club group and try to help my fellow man as long as I am able. I’m going to go out with my friends at night whenever possible. I’m going to continue with Church and any work that is required there. I’m going to continue to write books and stay busy…and I’m going to continue

to enjoy reading books by a lot of different writers which I really enjoy. I still have a very hard time going to the graveyard to visit CL’s grave…I know that he is not there. He is now resting in Heaven as one of our many angels watching over us. I can actually feel his presence inside every single room in my house. He worked diligently on this house and he loved it with a ion. I see him there at the kitchen sink refilling his coffee cup every morning. I can still picture his face across from me at the dining room table; I still feel him in the bedroom we shared for so many years; so that is where I can talk to him; that is where I let him know how much I still love him and how very, very much I miss him with every breath I take. I at times the words in the Irish blessing that talks about Sorrow and I feel his presence:

‘May you see God’s light on the path ahead when the road you walk on is dark; May you always hear, even in your hour of sorrow, the gentle singing of the lark; When times are hard may hardness never turn your heart to stone; May you always when the shadows fall…you do not walk alone!’

Also I think often about the Irish blessing that talks about ed Joy and I feel as though CL is speaking directly to me:

‘Don’t grieve for me, for now I’m free! I follow the plan God laid out for me; I saw His face, I heard His call; I took His hand and left it all… I could not stay another day, to love, to laugh, to work or play… Tasks left undone must stay that way, and if my parting has left a void, then fill it

with ed joy. A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss…ah yes, these things I, too, shall miss. My life has been full, I’ve savored much; good times, good friends, a lovedone’s touch. Perhaps my time seemed all too brief…don’t shorten yours with undue grief. Be not burdened with tears of sorrow; enjoy the sunshine of the morrow.’

Then finally I find contentment in the following words:

‘Do not stand at my grave and weep; for I am not there…I do not sleep; I am the thousand winds that blow…I am the diamond glints on snow… I am the sunlight on ripened grain…I am the gentle birds in circling flight… I am the soft star that shines at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry…I am not there…I did not die…”

And finally all of us have to the most famous Irish blessing of them all:

‘May the road rise up to meet you; May the wind always be at your back; May the sun shine warm upon your face and rains fall soft upon your fields. And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.’

God bless you, my dear reader; may you always be filled with love, happiness and endless laughter. you can always count on your family and your loved ones; they will never let you down! life is not measured by the number of breaths you take but by the moments that take your breath away! Every minute spent in anger is a minute of your lifetime that you have wasted, and you can’t ever get that minute back. Don’t waste any of your life; take time to laugh, be happy, and enjoy life; after all we have so little time here on earth as it is. The very best day of my life was the day I married CL Witmore; the worst day of my life was the day I lost him…but I do not regret one single day of the forty years I was married to that wonderful man. I have my memories and nothing or no one can ever take them away from me. I realize that a marriage like we shared is a true blessing from God; it is one that was ordained in Heaven. I know with all my heart that I will see CL again in Heaven someday; I’m sure that he’s waiting right there at Saint Peter’s Gate to welcome me home when it is my time to go! Throughout the year of 2009, I learned the hard way that tears of grief can be kept at bay by the way your friends and loved ones comfort you; the happy, fulfilled, optimistic hearts of the loved ones around you are a true blessing. My grandchildren, sons, and their wives have really been strong and faithful to me through all of my struggles. My sisters and brothers and their spouses have all gone out of their way to help me through every step of the journey I took during the year 2009…and because of them I feel stronger and better than ever. I want each and every one of you to know that I do not base any of the strength I am feeling at the end of this year on myself alone. My strength comes from the Lord Jesus Christ who has promised that He will not forsake any of us if we only believe…I am taking Him at His word and relying on Him to get me through each and every difficult day that lies ahead. Go out there and MAKE something happen! I know that I will still have days when I will have a hard time getting through the long hours because of my intense sorrow over losing the man that I loved for so long. I pray for strength and guidance because I can’t take a single step without

my Lord to lean on. He brought me through some of my darkest days when I was facing cancer, surgery and such uncertainty…but at that time, I had CL, who was the rock right by my side, so I leaned heavily on him. I don’t have that crutch anymore; I have to rely on myself and the love of my Jesus Christ to get me through these stormy days. I hope that you, too, will do the same! I do love the following saying: ‘Life may not be the party we hoped for…but while we are here we might as well dance!’ I still believe that there are heroes and happiness ever after, even though I have lost the love of my life. I want to make sure that those of you out there who have found that ‘special person’ in your life know that you have to hold on tight to what you have; enjoy every minute that you are with that person because there’s no greater gift in life than spending a lifetime with the one you love! The year 2009 might have started off bad for me at first, with my cancer diagnosis and the months of pain afterward then became even worse with the terrible loss of CL. Those were the days of pain and heartbreak but thankfully 2009 ended with a beautiful rainbow when I held a precious new life in my arms down there in Lubbock, Texas. I thank the good Lord above for the birth of another wonderful Witmore grandson to carry on CL’s name; and of course I’m looking forward to many more rainbows in the sky in my future. No matter what happens…never be afraid to love. Love is what makes everything else in your life worthwhile. It makes no difference how rich you are, because without love in your life, you have nothing at all. You might be poor in the of money, but if you have true love then you’re rich beyond measure. Bless you, my dear readers; that wonderful old Irish blessing:

‘May God grant you always…

A sunbeam to warm you, A moonbeam to charm you, A sheltering Angel so nothing can harm you, Faithful friends near you, And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you!’

As you go about your daily life, please take these words with you: Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God. Worrying does not take away tomorrow’s troubles; it only takes away today’s peace!

THE END