Divine Love: Ascension Through The Divine Heart 2h1957

Divine Love

Ascension Through the Divine Heart

Camilla Nichols

Copyright © 2018 by Camilla Nichols.

Library of Congress Control Number: 2018902725 ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-9845-1230-7 Softcover 978-1-9845-1229-1 eBook 978-1-9845-1228-4

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 03/02/2018

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CONTENTS

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1 The Divine Heart

Chapter 2 Conditional and Unconditional Love

Chapter 3Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Wounding

Chapter 4 The Inner Wounded Child

Chapter 5 Orphans of Culture

Chapter 6 Live an Authentic Life

Chapter 7 Impediments to the Divine Heart – Fear, Attachment, Selfishness and Greed

Chapter 8 Balance

Chapter 9 The Self-Destructive Act of Sabotage

Chapter 10 The Rise of the Divine Feminine

Chapter 11 Fellowship

Chapter 12 Gratitude

Dedication

This book is dedicated to all those in my life - family, friends and strangers who have loved me Unconditionally and Conditionally. All of you have been my teachers and for that I am eternally grateful.

Introduction

As Human Beings and as a Planet, we are moving into a New Paradigm. Outdated Systems, False Constructs and Beliefs are being shattered. This shattering and exposing is analogous to Dorothy and her Friends realizing that the Great Oz is just a Man behind a curtain, not a powerful wizard. Some call this New Paradigm the Age of Aquarius, or the Fifth Dimension. I doas not like Labels. However, that being said, I do believe Human Beings and Mother Earth are moving into a Time where the old Patriarchal systems are falling away and Unity Consciousness is emerging. People are waking up to the fact that they have been lied to and enslaved by society, culture, politics and religion – for eons. These Patriarchal Systems have intentionally divided us by race, religion, gender, socioeconomics, nations and creed. These Modalities intentionally created False Constructs that divide us all. These Systems are Judgmental. Individuals are beginning to Question, not just Accept, what they are told and what they are shown. They are beginning to look behind the curtain. Individuals are beginning to speak out against Injustice and Inequality. Humanity is beginning to throw off these superficial divisions and Unite. The New Paradigm will treat all Human Beings equally. The Inequalities of socioeconomics, race, gender, religion, cultures and political systems will become Balanced and Just. And most importantly, Human Beings will begin to Understand that the Material World we live in is just a temporary Illusion of things that ultimately are Meaningless. What is Meaningful and cannot be lost is Unconditional Love. We are all connected. We all have a Divine Heart which we need to find and open. The Divine Heart must be our base of Thoughts, Words and Deeds – not Mind and Ego. We must learn to love ourselves Unconditionally first, and only then can we love all others Unconditionally. It is through Unconditional Love that Individuals will connect with one’s Divine Heart. And it is through the Divine Heart that Ascension will occur because Ascension is not what you have been taught to Believe – that you will rise up to the Heavens at the End Times. What has been kept from us as Human Beings by

those who wanted Control and Power and Material Wealth is the fact that each of us is a Divine Child. Each of us, through our Divine Heart, is directly connected to the Divine Mother and Divine Father. The Divine Feminine, sidelined and omitted for Eons, is on the rise; not to take over and Dominate, but to Balance with the True Divine Masculine, not the Patriarchal, punishing system in which we have lived for centuries. Throughout Time there have been Ascended Masters, Messengers and Teachers who have brought the Message of Unconditional Love. But those Messages have been ignored or manipulated and distorted so we have not truly stepped into the True Reality that each of us is a Divine Child. And, of course, there have been many False Prophets. The purpose of this book is to hopefully provide a roap to finding and healing your Divine Child, your Divine Heart, and of course, discover your direct connection to the Divine. Call it what you will, Creator, Spirit, God - the Label doesn’t matter. And this is just one message so if it does not resonate with you, I hope you keep looking until you find one that does. But it must be a message of Love, not Division and Judgment. If this does resonate with you, please share it with your Family and Friends because this New Age is upon us. The Time is now. The World is on a Precipice. It is out of Balance. To regain Balance personally, culturally and even as a Planet, we must begin to embrace the All is One and One is All. Balance is needed now but it begins with you. You must first Learn to Love YOURSELF Unconditionally. All else will follow.

Chapter One The Divine Heart

What is a Divine Heart? You have one, but you have forgotten and likely not yet discovered it. It’s there, waiting for you to unlock it. Let us start with the example of a True Lightworker for they operate from their Divine Heart. A True Lightworker is a Destroyer of Lies and False Constructs, Grids and Illusions. A True Lightworker operates from their Divine Heart, not from Mind or Ego. They LOVE Fiercely and UNCONDITIONALLY. They speak the TRUTH. They Act With and On Behalf of the DIVINE. They have No Fear. Fear is an Illusion and an Intentional Distraction. It is a Low Energy. Low Vibration prevents one from escaping the Material World and connecting with their Divine Heart. Divine Love is the Highest Vibration. A True Lightworker’s Mission is to use their Unique Gifts to Assist Human Beings to find their Divine Heart and Operate from Divine, Unconditional Love. The Process of Humanity Unchaining itself from the Invisible Shackles to which they have been Intentionally Bound for Eons will not occur overnight. It will take Time but know there are those here to Help. These Helpers include Lightworkers. Beware of False/Dark Lightworks. Knowingly or Unknowingly they Distort the True Message of Unconditional Love. They continue to Operate from Mind and Ego. The False/Dark Lightworker still holds on to the Outdated Consciousness. Power, Material Possessions, Greed, Manipulation, Control, Domination and Status drive them, not DIVINE LOVE. They do not Walk in Balance. They are Connected to the Old Universal Collective Mind, not the DIVINE CONSCIOUSNESS. Not the “ONE IS ALL AND ALL IS ONE”. When an Individual operates from the Mind and Ego they are Trapped in Lower Dimensions, Denser Vibrations. The Divine Heart is Pure, Selfless and Transformative. It brings Awareness which translates into Consciousness: the COLLECTIVE CONSCIOUSNESS; the COSMIC CONSCIOUSNESS. The DIVINE CONSCIOUSNESS.

A True Lightworker makes you UNCOMFORTABLE. You must ask yourself WHY? Why am I UNCOMFORTABLE? Find what it is that they do or say that Resonates with you, what so Violates some Tenant of your Family, Community, Social, Religious, Political, WHATEVER TENANT or RULE you have been taught is TRUE. I am going to give you ONE hint. SUBCONSCIOUSLY you know it’s a FALSE BELIEF and that SCARES you. Walk INTO THAT Fear. Examine it. If you’re not ready to go there because you have built YOUR LIFE around this LIE, just know, if you stay in that JUDGMENTAL, LIMITING COMMUNITY CONSCIOUSNESS, you will, I swear, follow them off the cliff. Willingly. Because you are allowing OTHERS to tell you what is RIGHT or WRONG, TRUE or FALSE. RECLAIM YOURSELF. TRUST YOUR INSTINCT. UNPLUG FROM THAT COMMUNITY CONSCIOUSNESS. Or, be one of the HERD. YOUR CHOICE. YOUR LIFE. THE ONLY ONE YOU HAVE. A True Lightworker has had many DARK NIGHTS OF THE SOUL as they needed to , be stripped of Ego, Heal past Karmic Events, Clear the PAST WRONGS of this LIFE and many others. They had to LEARN to RELEASE, FORGIVE and LET GO. They had to LEARN to LIVE in GRATITUDE. Oh, so many were so WOUNDED, Intentionally and Unintentionally. ALONE and AFRAID as their World or a main facet of their Life imploded. But they somehow did not give up. Instead, after a Time which seemed an Eternity, they ROSE UP (clawed and crawled up actually) and ultimately STOOD STRONG on their own two feet again (TWO – BALANCE, a concept explored later in this book) STRONGER, WISER more LOVING. WISER for WISDOM comes from LIFE LESSONS. Make no Mistake, LESSONS are repeated until they are LEARNED. These Wounded Human Beings ROSE more LOVING than ever because they REALIZED that those who WOUNDED them the most on this PLANET LOVED them the most on the SOUL PLANE. They were the ones who agreed to HARM them so deeply - PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY and/or SPIRITUALLY in this LIFE so the LESSONS they needed to LEARN in this LIFETIME, could be LEARNED. A True Lightworker has been mortally WOUNDED SPIRITUALLY. DEEP

DEEP INVISIBLE WOUNDS that caused them to fall on their knees in DESPAIR. Prostrate with GRIEF. So ALONE. So AFRAID. They could not move. They could not get up. They could not breathe. But somehow, they kept BREATHING. Their raw howls of GRIEF released in to the empty HEAVENS knowing in their CORE that no one HEARD them and oceans of TEARS that fell into the EARTH, slowly ran their course. GRIEF, Painful as it is, needs to be FELT, not Buried. Acknowledging and Walking through your Pain, Physical, Emotional or Spiritual, is the only way to be Rebirthed…to Let it Go. A True Lightworker Learns to Forgive, and in Forgiving, heals themselves. And, regarding those Tears that most likely they had never allowed themselves to shed – because a True Lightworker is always there for Others and does not Burden them with their personal Challenges, they let them flow unimpeded. People assume their Lives are easy and trouble-free. These People are wrong. To Others it appears that the True Lightworker never has a bad day (until their Dark Night of the Soul arrives). This is not True, they just do not Speak about it but they always Listened to you. A True Lightworker is ALWAYS THERE FOR OTHERS. One of the Challenges facing a True Lightworker is that they must Learn to Receive, not just Give. They must Learn to be Vulnerable. They must learn they are worthy of the Unconditional Love they give to Others. Back to those Oceans of Tears – well, WATER PURIFIES ALL. Especially Oceans of salty Tears. But Mother Earth, Gaia, she took those Tears. She can take Oceans of Tears. Yes, She can and She does. So, make no Mistake, they were reduced to NOTHING – No THING of whom they had been or possessed remained – reduced to ashes, Burned – Destroyed. But, MIRACULOUSLY from this heap of ashes they were amazed to realize they were still Alive, Breathing. They looked to the Heavens and saw the Stars. The Sun had kept rising. Yes, every Day it went away, but it ALWAYS came back. That LIGHT had bathed them in its warmth. Slowly, oh, so slowly, they realized they could indeed RISE. UNDEFINED. UNWRITTEN. Their past OBLITERATED. Their LIFE had been shattered, shred, shed…they stood PURE and the only thing that remained was their ESSENCE. They then drew a deep shaky BREATH and INTENTIONALLY CHOSE not to return to the FALSE LIFE they had Lived. The LIFE based on pleasing Others and what they had been told they should Be. No more False Constructs that other

Systems, Family and even themselves had placed upon them, limiting their True Essence. The LIFE where their AUTHENTIC SELF, while it kept calling, was ignored because Others wanted them to be something they were not. They believed they had to be some thing and some one other than their True Self. And quite honestly, they had forgotten who that was a long, long time ago. Another BREATH, then, with NOTHING but GRATITUDE, and UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING EVERY PART OF THEIR BEING, they stepped into their AUTHENTIC LIFE where they had always been meant to Be, with arms wide open. UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING their FATALLY FLAWED, but PERFECT, nonetheless TRUE and PERFECT SELF. Forgiving themselves for mistakes they had made, because we all make mistakes, and realizing the Lessons learned from mistakes of the past. They danced and sang because this is what they now KNEW: what had helped them RISE UP was UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. The UNCONDITIONAL LOVE of those who STOOD BY THEM, did not JUDGE them, had MERCY and WITNESSED their PAIN. And if there was no one who STOOD BY THEM on this EARTH, the DIVINE FATHER and DIVINE MOTHER had been there. Carrying them. WITNESSING their PAIN but KNOWING they could not stop it…because it was necessary for their GROWTH and REBIRTH. Distraught as all PARENTS are to see their CHILD suffer, they could only stand there with UNCONDITIONAL LOVE knowing it was something their Divine Child had to do ALONE. Because, while sometimes we can Learn from the MISTAKES of OTHERS there are some LESSONS we have to LEARN by LIVING them. These LIGHTWORKERS had to Learn to CRAWL, then STAND, then WALK….and then RUN. Then, they jumped off the cliff - and SOARED. They now UNDERSTOOD that ALL those who UNCONDITIONALLY LOVED them could do was BE THERE. Let them know they were so LOVED. So PRECIOUS. So BELOVED. And when they were ready, they helped them STAND again. With such TENDERNESS and UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, they dusted them off and pointed them on their way. And with such, such, deep UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, watched them walk or run, head held high and arms wide open, into their AUTHENTIC LIFE. Healed, Stronger, Resilient, Wiser, Loving, no longer Judging others. Because they had been Wounded, Weakened, Unloved, Judged and Abandoned. And they Survived. They did not succumb to the Darkness, tempting as it was at Times. When they emerged from that constricting dark cocoon…they had unbeknownst to them, transformed into a magnificent colorful butterfly with new wings ready to take Flight into the

World.

BUT THOSE THAT LOVED THEM UNCONDITIONALLY DID NOT ABANDON THEM, NOT FOR A NANOSECOND.

Because of this UNCONDITIONAL LOVE they saw the smallest glimmer of LIGHT. So small, so dim, so far away but there nonetheless. They were not ENTOMBED in total DARKNESS. They did not drown. Part of them died, yes, but this Death allowed their True Essence, their Divine Heart to be their Guide and Moral Com, no longer the Mind or Ego. They ROSE, REBIRTHED as WARRIORS OF LOVE, WARRIORS OF LIGHT, WARRIORS OF TRUTH, WARRIORS OF DIVINE LOVE, WARRIORS OF THE AUTHENTIC SELF and WARRIORS OF THE NEW PARADIGM. They aroses GRATEFUL for every Second, Choice, Human Being and Thing that had happened to them in their Life because they now saw the Warp and Woof of the Tapestry of their Life up to that Moment. They saw all the THREADS that had been laid down in their Life – Invisible and seemingly Unconnected but now they saw the Connection. The multiple Threads that in fact, unbeknownst to them, been weaving the magnificent TAPESTRY OF THEIR LIFE, the story of a Journey that could now be seen. It was a Journey in which every Moment had a Purpose. Every Thread PERFECT and now Connected. As they stood back, they looked in amazement and great Humbleness upon the BEAUTY of what had appeared to be Chaos and Obliteration of their Life, the DIVINE PLAN. And they also Understood that it was their Divine Plan up to that Moment and there was more to come. But now, instead of Doubt, they stood ready to welcome whatever came because they knew they could not conceive what lay ahead, but also Knowing, they were now Consciously a part of it and Trusted in the Unknowing with Gratitude. It is indeed a Divine Gift to look at this World with Detachment at all the Distractions from what we are meant to Know and Be – an Unconditionally Loved Divine Child. So, KNOW THIS – THERE ARE NO ACCIDENTS IN LIFE, NO

COINCIDENCES; SYNCHRONICITY, yes. There is a DIVINE PLAN UNIQUE TO EACH OF US. As HUMANS this is incredibly difficult to conceive. We simply cannot comprehend this. It is a miracle in and of itself to truly Believe and Trust in a DIVINE PLAN, a DIVINE PURPOSE and most of all DIVINE TIMING (which is so different of our concept of TIME). So, practice PATIENCE. Pray for your GREATEST AND HIGHEST GOOD. Pray for PATIENCE, UNDERSTANDING, WISDOM, GRACE, TRUTH, to FORGIVE and, of course, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, and, TO LET GO OF JUDGMENT. All of these will come. When it is TIME. I promise. These True Lightworkers are here now, some Healed, some still Healing, to Help Humanity step into the New Paradigm of Divine, Unconditional Love. Most of us will not Experience a Dark Night of the Soul, or several for that matter – but you will without question face Challenges as your old World Changes. You must slowly Learn to Let Go of Attachment, Selfishness, Greed and Fear. All these things take Time. One Step at a Time. One Day at a Time. Be gentle with Yourself. We are all Human, after all. Life is about Growth, Learning Lessons and Uniting with your Fellow Human Beings. You are no better and no worse. No Life is Meaningless. , we are all Divine Children. you are a Divine Child. To you reading this, KNOW this - I HONOR your Divine Heart. We ALL have ONE, but we have FORGOTTEN. It’s TIME to and let that be your SOLE SOURCE OF THOUGHTS, WORDS and DEEDS as you Walk in this World. Let your LIGHT SHINE. YOU are a DIVINE CHILD. YOU, yes you, are the Little Pebble thrown into Still Waters. Your Ripples of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE will gently cause small WAVES of LOVE. As they spread in the World, they get larger. Let your UNCONDITONAL LOVE become a TSUNAMI of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE sent out to the WORLD. How PERFECT is that? SIMPLE. BE BRAVE. Be UNCONDITONAL LOVE in this WORLD. If you do NOTHING ELSE, do this. For YOU, for Humanity. For, indeed, WE ARE ALL ONE. Because that, my FRIENDS, is what it’s all about. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. Simple but oh so TRUE. PROFOUND. SIMPLE. You can lose EVERYTHING. EVERY THING. But if you have this, you will always have ENOUGH. KNOW THIS. BELIEVE THIS. And in case you haven’t noticed, let this be your NEW VOCABULARY. For it is

the VOCABULARY of the NEW PARADIGM that is EMERGING for All of Humanity – A NEW PARADIGM of UNCONDITONAL LOVE, WOUNDING, SURVIVAL, HEALING, the ORPHAN OF CULTURE (this is explained in another chapter – but in a nutshell if you’ve felt like you’ve never fit in, always UNCONVENTIONAL – it is because you were not meant to fit in to the current ridiculous rules and regulations in this LIFE. RULES and REGULATIONS THAT INTENTIONALLY DIVIDE US BY RELIGION, RACE, SEX CREED, that keep us from KNOWING THAT WE ARE ALL DIVINE, PERFECT, BUT PERFECTLY FLAWED AND ALL EQUAL AND WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE – and I promise you, you will step into this NEW PARADIGM and feel at HOME). It is my profound HONOR to be the one of the first to say with OPEN ARMS, WELCOME H O M E. Of course, I will TEACH you this NEW VOCABULARY – BUT KNOW – You already KNOW IT. You just have to . I HONOR your Divine Heart. I so Fiercely do. I SEE it. Yes, I do, even if you don’t. And I promise you, it’s right there waiting ever so PATIENTLY for you to find it. It is as ETERNAL as you are. When you find it, you will find your DIVINE SOUL. And, of course, your Divine Heart will connect you to the DIVINE and all that entails. Enjoy your unique Journey to finding your Divine Heart.

Namaste.

CHAPTER TWO Conditional and Unconditional Love

We are born into this World with two Parents who are supposed to Love Us Unconditionally. These Adults are supposed to Protect us and provide for our Needs until we can do so ourselves. Parents or the Adults responsible for our wellbeing as Children should anticipate and Understand our cries, encourage us, Love us Unconditionally and speak for us until we can do so ourselves. Unfortunately, most of us have one Parent who Loves us Unconditionally and one that Loves us Conditionally. We take the Unconditional Love for granted because we are always trying to please the one who Loves us Conditionally because, as an Innocent Child, we simply cannot Understand what we are doing wrong, or what is wrong with us, that our Mother or Father does not Love us Unconditionally. Conditional Love is not given freely. It is withheld until we do what they demand of us – even if it requires us to be something that we are not or do something that we do not want to do. But we Conform to their demands. The irony is that when you do, there is always something else, something more. Always. Know this: For that Parent that Conditionally Loves you, or even worse, Abandons you, for them, you will never be good enough and worthy of their Love. You will grow up always seeking Unconditional Love but you will attract Conditional Love over and over again because that is what you Consciously or Subconsciously believe you deserve. This then is your Foundation as you go into the World. And make no Mistake that Foundation is a shattered one because a Universal Law has been violated: you were not Loved Unconditionally. This is analogous to the Fear experienced in an earthquake: people fear earthquakes because the ground beneath us is supposed to be solid and stable. When it shakes, we run or hide and tremble with Fear until the shaking subsides. We can only wait and wonder how bad it will get, how long it will last. When it does stop, aftershocks follow reminding you that you are at the Mercy of the unstable foundation that is supposed to you.

As an Innocent Child, we simply cannot – CAN NOT – Understand the warped Love that Conditionally loving Parent gives you. They brought you into this World or adopted you as a Helpless, Innocent Infant. You were supposed to Unconditionally Loved and Protected. Adults were supposed to Love you, Protect you and take care of you, but they did not. But we are primaly wired for Survival. We Survive. We do what we need to, as a CHILD, to have our most basic Needs met – Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually. As Adults we fail to realize that our Survival Behaviors we adapted to Protect ourselves as an Innocent Child and Survive when the Adults weren’t doing their job, are no longer necessary. We fail to comprehend that what happened to you was not about you – it was about them. Likewise, as an Adult, one fails to realize they are safe because subconsciously you will never feel safe. You wait for that next Human Being who will abandon you or cause you Pain with their Conditional Love as you continue your Pattern or Cycle of trying to earn their Love, a Sisyphian task. How many of you are always trying to make someone who Loves you Conditionally Love you Unconditionally? Do you even know what Unconditional Love is? It is the Love you give – but it is NOT the Love you receive. We CAN take care of ourselves. And we do. But Understand you carry that small Wounded Child within you. Take a big breath and give that Wounded Inner Child, who feels so alone and unloveable, a big hug and thank them for Surviving. Love them. Honor them. Then take another breath and KNOW you are an Adult now, no longer that Wounded Child that you carry. KNOW and BELIEVE that you are worthy of Unconditional Love. We all are. Conditional Love NEVER becomes Unconditional Love. EVER. It is TIME to let go of that distorted false view of Love. Conditional Love causes Pain. Unconditional Love makes you Flourish and Shine. Unconditional Love is not without Pain, but any Pain is Unintentional and Temporary. The Pain of Conditional Love is Constant and Intentional. I hope this helps you to start to become aware of those Adults, from your Childhood, throughout your Life, to this very Moment, who, with “Love” harmed you, damaged your self-image and self-esteem and crushed your Unique and Beautiful Self. Ask yourself: who now Loves you Unconditionally and who Loves you Conditionally? Because you have both in your Life. And, how do you Love – Conditionally or Unconditionally? What is your Pattern? What are your Cycles? See them for that is the first step to changing it. Awareness transmutes

into Consciousness. From Consciousness you can Choose to be Loved Unconditionally. You may realize there are many relationships that are harmful to you. You need to let go of all destructive and one-sided relationships because they do not serve your Greatest and Highest Good. Look for Balance. Look for those who Give to you as you Give to them. You must learn to Receive, not just Give. This is extremely difficult because you do not Trust anyone ultimately. You feel Alone. You are happy to be there for others but you do not allow others to be there for you because you Survived by relying only on yourself. Think about it. Become an Observer of your Life and your Relationships. What do you want from the Relationships you have in your Life? The answer should be Unconditional Love. Unconditional Love for you – an imperfect Human Being who is a Divine Child. We are all Imperfect. We are all Divine Children. You MUST begin by learning to Love yourself Unconditionally. Honor yourself. Love yourself. Take care of yourself. Be gentle with yourself. If you do not, the unhealthy Cycle from your Childhood will repeat over and over as you Grow – for you will always continue to do what you perceive is required to make One who Loves you Conditionally love you Unconditionally. But think about it – how many people have you changed? The honest answer should be NONE for you cannot change another. We can only change our Self. Long ago you conditioned yourself to be Reactive or Proactive, to be a Giver or a Taker, to be an Optimist or a Pessimist. It is not too late to make a Conscious Choice to be Proactive and Unconditionally Loving. Objectively Observe, without Judgment, how and whom you Love Conditionally and how and whom you Love Unconditionally. Who drains you? Who fills you up? Conditional Love is based on what someone can get/take from you (Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually) or it is about Manipulation and Control. It is a Destructive Love, often Punishing. It crushes you bit by bit. Be Aware of those you abuse you with Conditional Love. There is no , Comfort, Safety, Encouragement or Joy in Conditional Love. It is a Timebomb that ultimately will destroy you. Classic example: the Battered Wife. She keeps coming back after being Abused Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually. She wants him to Love her. When he does it is so sweet…then he beats her, and she takes it knowing she is to blame for she has been Conditioned to Believe she MUST have done something to cause those blows, his Displeasure because no matter what she does or does not do, there will be something that triggers him to Abuse her again. Then he cries and says he’s sorry and it will never happen again. She forgives him. She believes him

because she Loves him. She goes back again and again like a Lamb to the Slaughter. No one helps her because she does not speak of it. She covers her bruises. She lies if someone asks. She makes excuses for him. Why? Because this is the only Love she knows. And so, the Cycle begins again and repeats over and over again. The Cycle will not be broken until that Individual understands that they are worthy of Unconditional Love that will make them flourish, not a Conditional Love that is relentless in its Punishment and Pain. They cannot fix it. They can only escape it. The Choice is theirs and theirs alone. You must ask yourself over and repeatedly…. for those who only Loved you Conditionally and caused so much Pain…Why? Why? WHY? Why did you accept that “Love”? Why? What is your Belief? What is your Lesson? Have you Learned it yet? If not, you will continue to let people Conditionally Love you and Abuse you (Physically, Emotionally and/or Spiritually) until you do. That’s the way the Universe works. YOU must break the Cycle. No one else can or will do it for you. You must change your Belief. You must believe you are worthy of Unconditional Love – only Unconditional Love. Are you asking how do you know those who Conditionally Love you? I have a simple answer for you: you already know. You do. The real question is: What are you going to do about it? When will you cast off Conditional Love? Another question: How will you know those that Love you Unconditionally? If you are Honest with yourself you will know. These are the people who Love you just the way you are – Imperfect as you are. They do not Judge you. They sit with you in your Pain or stand by you when Life challenges you. When things get bad, because they will at some point for everyone, notice who runs from you or disappears – of course, these are the ones that only Love you Conditionally. And they run or slink away thinking you will not notice. You have either dried up as a resource of whatever you were giving them or they perceive you as too broken to play with any longer. You are so desperate and focused on Survival you no longer have anything to give them. As a resource of control and manipulation you have dried up. So they move on. They turn to the Others they Control or find a new Pawn. They will not fix you, they will not even try. In fact, they like to see you broken. Now, I’m sorry that’s messed up, but nevertheless, it is True. There are many Unkind and Comionless People in this World, too many in my opinion. Man is not Kind, at least the majority because they themselves are too focused on their perceived needs, not the needs of others. It is about me me me me me me me.

Ah, but those Others. In even the simplest ways, a hug, some food, a call, they check in. They do not Judge you. They do not Abandon you. They just simply Unconditionally Love you. Sometimes it is a perfect Stranger who gives you a smile on a day you feel so Invisible to the World. And it is in those simple things – a smile, a hug, a call, a card, food…it gives you enough to hang onto for one more day. With their simple Acts of Kindness, they have given you the faintest glimmer of Hope, of Light, of Unconditional Love. And these people who Unconditionally Love you will not try to fix you, but they stand by you and watch you fix yourself. Because this is what is required. We can only fix ourselves. You cannot fix another Human Being. Know this as well: All the Love in the World cannot fix another Human Being. That Human Being, like all of us, must first Learn to Love themselves - Unconditionally. We must Forgive and Heal Our Self. We must find and Honor our Strength, our Spirit, our unique Gifts. We must Love our Fatally Flawed Self. Imperfection makes the World go round. Perfection is overrated. It just is. And, what is Perfection anyway? It differs by family, culture, religion, profession, and on and on and on. When you finally do Love yourself Unconditionally, you Rise, because every Storm es. Now you can Rise and go back to your same Cycles, or you can Rise rebirthed and Understand the Dysfunctional Cycle or Cycles that were SelfDestructive. Ultimately One must Understand, Believe, and Live a Life that radiates through each Thought, Word and Deeds that all that truly matters in this brief Time we have in this Life is Unconditional Love. Each of us needs to Learn our Unique Lessons in our Unique Time based on our Unique Life Experience. If we do not, the Issues and/or Situations WILL happen again until you Learn. And this is what you Learn: You are NOT your things, status, etc. That is how we are Judged in this Material World. As scary as it is, you realize you can lose everything. EVERY THING: Money, status, your job, that big house…all of it and you still have your Essence. It is indeed a miraculous moment when you realize this. When you can genuinely and with Gratitude say THANK YOU because you Learned and Understand, that despite what you Believed, what you had been Taught, you are Enough. And, in fact, despite losing everything, you always had an abundance of Unconditional Love. This is the Moment when One casts off the Conditional Love – that False Love Others had given you, that you Believed, Consciously or Subconsciously, that you deserved. And it is at this Moment that you begin to operate solely from the center of your Divine Heart and Unconditional Love. Lesson for the day: think about the Physical, Emotional or Spiritual Pain

inflicted upon you by those you believed Loved you. And you took it, often and repeatedly. Maybe it was the only kind of Love you ever knew. Maybe you thought you were not worthy of Unconditional Love. BUT YOU ARE. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF US IS WORTHY OF UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. So today, NOW, ask. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? FIGURE IT OUT. Because in finding your Truth you will also Understand out that you are not living your Authentic Life. You Conformed, voluntarily or involuntarily, to what Others made you Believe you had to be. You chose a “safe” profession or field. Were you told you could not Paint, Dance, Sing, Garden, Cook, Heal, Write, etc.? Who you told your Unique Gifts had no Value in this World? Our Soul is always trying to speak to us. We are Conditioned, however, to disregard these calls despite the un-ease or dis-ease that results. Learn to Love YOURSELF Unconditionally then begin to Love all other Human Beings Unconditionally from your Divine Heart. Unconditional Love is Transformative. Do this, not just for your Divine Self, but for all Humanity. Who knows, your smile might just save a Life. How fabulous would that be?

Chapter Three Physical, Emotional and Spiritual Wounding

There are three Major types of Wounding in this World: Physical, Emotional and Spiritual. We all have had the first two inflicted upon us. Many have had the third. Sometimes you experience one, sometimes all. And, at Times, we have inflicted the first two upon others, Intentionally or Unintentionally through a thoughtless Word or Deed. Hopefully those of you reading this have never inflected a Spiritual Wounding upon another, for a Spiritual Wounding is always Intentional. A Physical Wounding is one from which we can recover even though a scar may remain. But it is just that, a reminder of a healed bone or tissue. Bones break. A cast holds the broken pieces in place until they mend. Bones heal. Broken skin bleeds. Our body immediately reacts to a cut and sends platelets to stop the bleeding; healing begins immediately. Sometimes if the cut is deep stitches are needed. A scar is a gentle reminder that as long as that Injury took to Heal, it did just that. Our bodies have an amazing innate ability to Heal if we Listen to it, give it the proper Nourishment and allow it the Time it needs to Heal. Our Hearts are the same. Sometimes our Physical Wounds are Self-Inflicted. Individuals often SelfMedicate with drugs, food or alcohol in order not to feel Physical, Emotion or Spiritual Pain. We prefer a state of Numbness than a state of Pain. But even if masked, the Pain is still there until the Injury heals. Conversely, Dis-Ease does not go away. In fact, when buried and ignored, it festers until it Manifests in some other way: chest Pains, stomach problems or Depression are just a few examples. What may begin as a small issue manifests into a Chronic Disease. One is pre-diabetic before it becomes Diabetes. A cancer may start as an isolated tumor before it spreads to other systems. One must address the issue if possible when it first Manifests. Ignoring it will most likely result in a bigger, more dangerous issue.

An example of a Physical Wounding: my Adult Son was riding his bike to work. A man had parked his car, and not looking in the bike lane, opened the door. My son had no Time to react. He hit the open door full force and went flying. He was lucky. Often people flip, land on their neck and die or are paralyzed. The right side of his body took the brunt. He lay there in the street, dazed and bleeding. The man started to yell about how his side mirror was dented with no regard for the fact that a Human Being lay injured in the middle of the street because of his Actions. The man was more concerned about a small dent in his side mirror - small dent in a “thing”…than an injured Human Being. To me this is a tragic yet classic example of our sad state of affairs that a dent was the greater priority. I thank God for the Earth Angels who ran to him. Someone held his uninjured hand. Someone gave him some water. They stayed with him. They Comforted him. Someone called an ambulance, and someone called the police. And people did not let that Man flee. Besides being completely Physically bruised and having a badly mangled right hand, with Time and Care, he healed. He needed surgery on his hand. He received excellent medical care. He has residual limited motion of his thumb. His hobby is being a DJ, so this will affect him the rest of his Life. But he has Adapted, and I have never Heard him complain. I am so Grateful he was not more seriously injured. And, may I just say as a Mother, had I been present, I would have shown that callous Man some serious car damage. Dent? But I tell this Story as an example of how we can unexpectedly be injured in a nanosecond. Any Time. Any Day. But if you are harmed, or you harm someone unintentionally I hope you have the Human Decency to care more about the damage to the Human Being than to any Thing that may have been damaged in the incident. It’s called an “accident” for a reason. Things can be fixed or replaced. The same is not True for a Human Being. Do I even have to remind people of that fact? I hope not. also that Western medicine treats Symptoms, not Cause. Nine times out of ten you will most likely be prescribed a drug which treats your Symptoms. Be sure to read the warning label! It’s just more poison you’re ingesting and it is only treating the Symptom. Insist that the Cause be found. Treat and fix the Cause – not the Symptom. If you must, find a holistic practitioner who will help you discover the Cause of your Dis-Ease, whether it originates from Body, Mind or Spirit. Lifestyle, Environment and/or Life’s stresses, which we all have, may

be the Issue. We may be genetically disposed to a condition, but it still needs to be triggered. Be proactive. It’s your body, it’s your health. Understand that we are conditioned for a “quick fix” but Healing takes Time. It took Time for the Condition to present. It will take Time for your body to Heal. A holistic practitioner may ask you, if you have back or knee problems, if you feel ed by your Friends, Family and/or Community. If you have throat issues you may be asked if you are afraid to speak the Truth. If you have issues in the solar plexus area you may be asked to think about you finances and your belief about money. I think you get the picture. Call upon Archangel Raphael to aid you in your Healing. Surround yourself in his emerald green Light. Be honest with yourself because no one else knows exactly is going on in your life but you. No one. Another thing to ponder: if someone has Wounded you Physically and Intentionally was it the First Time? If not, have you decided it will be the Last Time? If you continue to put yourself in a situation where another will intentionally Physically Harm you ask yourself why do you subject yourself to this situation where you allow this to happen? Why do you Believe you deserve it, for truly, Consciously or Subconsciously, this is your Belief. Who initially harmed you? Can you ? Who wounded your Inner Child? Know this and keep telling yourself until you Believe it in your Heart and Soul: You are a Divine Child. No Person has the right to Harm you, not even yourself. Contemplate why. Contemplate until you Understand why you allow this to occur. And then, do not let it happen ever again - intentionally by another or yourself. EVER. Life throws enough curves at us without intentionally putting yourself in a situation where you know you will be Physically harmed. Get whatever or assistance you need. Learn this Lesson because, until you do, this Cycle will not be broken, and it is a Cycle you must Learn to recognize, then Break. Emotional Wounding inflicts Pain on your Mind, Heart and/or Spirit. This type of Wounding is invisible to others. But those that inflict it intentionally do so to see you in Pain. Tears, Depression, Loss of Self-Esteem, SelfMedicating, shutting yourself off from the World – these are just a few examples of the Consequences of this type of Wounding. Sometimes you even ask yourself if the Pain is real or are you imagining it? Let me assure you, it is real. The Pain is as real as physical pain.

Emotional Wounding, while an Invisible Wound, is nonetheless very real and very Painful. It can ultimately manifest physically. We suffer and feel Emotional Pain as much as physical pain, sometimes even more. It takes Time, Strength, Forgiveness and Grace to Heal. It requires an evaluation of the Wounding and the Cause. Too often we blame ourselves, again somehow believing we deserve the pain inflicted upon us, or the abusive conduct that results in an Emotional Wounding. You must examine and understand why, on some level we again Believe we deserve it or are not worthy of better treatment. Know, however, that this Harm is most often the result of an Issue of the Individual who inflicted it; who them Self has been Wounded. They carry their own Wounding and erroneously impose it on Others as Others did to them thereby continuing the Pattern. Perhaps this was how Others treated them and because they could fight back with those Human Beings who had control or power over them, often in a Dominant position, they project their Wounding on you. What One must realize is that the Wounding was not about what they did, but what someone else ed on to them in a misguided Abusive Pattern of Conditional Love or simply, Abuse in and of itself. And now, it has been ed onto you. One MUST Understand that an Intentional or Unintentional Emotional Wounding is NOT about you…but about the Other who has either been Wounded themselves, or may lack any Empathy or Conscious to realize what they do is Wrong. Again, you must look at the situation and ask yourself if this Emotional Wounding by another was Intentional or Unintentional. Did it happen once or are you allowing yourself to be in an environment where you are Emotionally Wounded over and over again. Do you Believe you deserve it? You DO NOT. No one does. People who intentionally Emotionally Wound you are Toxic and Controlling. By inflicting this Wounding they feel Superior and Dominant. They like to Manipulate you. They get pleasure to see you in Pain. DO NOT LET THEM. An example: you have a Parent who is always criticizing you. You can be an Adult, they can be on their deathbed and you walk in and they tell you, as they always have, that you look like crap. From the Time you were a Child they have always told you that you look like crap. You never did anything right according to them and you have been told this as well since you were young. No matter

what you did for them, they criticize something: your hair, weight, job, Children, whatever. It’s ALWAYS something. Again, if this is a one-Time event, these things happen. If it is not, step back and Observe, not Judge. See the situation for what it really is. Another example is the partner or co-worker who constantly belittles what you say and do. In public perhaps, the criticism is disguised as a joke, but in private there is no humorous bent. Criticism is always criticism, even if couched in a joke. Look for Patterns. Does someone in your Life repeatedly say something hurtful about you? Even if they say it jokingly? I always told my Children: “You can’t say something mean and it off as a joke”. Beware of those who start a sentence with: “I hate to say this BUT…I hate to criticize BUT… I’m not judging BUT…I shouldn’t tell you this BUT…” BUT ENOUGH. Period. Move on. You do not need people in your Life that do not Unconditionally Love you. Period. They will not change. You cannot change them. So, move on. I don’t care if it’s Family, Friends, co-workers or a spouse. You are meant to shine, not meant to be treated as inferior. Another modern-day example: those rat bastards who drug someone so they can get laid. If successful, this IS, without question, a Physical and Emotional Wounding, but it is often a Spiritual one as well. I know a young woman who was studying abroad one semester in college. One night she went out with her Friends. One of the Friends had gone up to the bar and brought back two drinks. After a few minutes the young woman felt funny. She did not say anything to her Friends. She went outside to get some air. She had already told them she would not be going to the next venue with them, so they assumed she had left. A bartender came out and assumed she was drunk. He brought her some water. As her terror mounted, a voice inside her said: “Get home, get home, get home” … so she found her way to the subway, and in terror, as the drug kicked in, sobbed into her hands. People stared but no one offered to help her. No one. She got home and lay down on her bed as the terror continued to escalate. Her inner voice became louder. It seemed to shout: “GET UP. Survive. Survive. Survive.” She got up, went into the bathroom and vomited. She found a friend online (modern Times) who “stayed” with her through the night until she called home in the morning. This young woman was lucky. Perhaps she had left before whoever put the drug in the drink could figure out which one had gotten the tainted one. Someone could have followed her home. I shudder to imagine the horrific things that

could have happened to her as it does to so many in this World. So, while not permanently Physically harmed, do not doubt for a moment that this young Woman has been Emotionally Wounded and will carry that scar, and some Fear, for the rest of her Life. And to the sick Human Being who did this to an Innocent, a Divine Child, Karma is a bitch and she is coming for you unless Sheera gets there first. You better hope it’s Karma and you should be very glad it is not me. As I have stated before and I will state over and over again: We are ALL fatally flawed, but perfect nonetheless. This what it means to be Human. And each of us is unique – with unique gifts. Never let anyone dim or put out your Light. Ever. No one has the right to Intentionally Harm another in any way, shape or form. Learn to step back. Detach. Become an Observer. Without judgment, just Observe. See the situation for what it is. Remove your rose-colored glasses and see the situation for what it really is. Stop making excuses for the other person. Understand you CANNOT FIX ANOTHER PERSON. You WILL NOT and CAN NOT change them. You can only fix yourself. So, again, know that you are worthy of Unconditional Love and . Do not stay in toxic Friendships or Relationships, regardless of what label is attached to the Relationship. If it’s Toxic and Harmful to you, remove yourself. Bless them and move on. Do not look back. The most egregious Wounding is a Spiritual Wounding. It is malicious and intentionally inflicted, often, it rises to the level of Evil. I do not say this lightly. Spiritual Wounding is a Mortal Wound to one’s Divine Heart and Soul. It strikes at one’s very Essence. A Spiritual Wounding is always Intentional and done with a callous and Intentional Disregard for another Human Being. This type of Wounding steals or destroys one’s Innocence and so deeply violates or eviscerates one Physically or Emotionally it is difficult to recover, even with proper . Often, those Spiritually Wounded turn not only to drugs, alcohol and other forms of Self-injury, they are so destroyed that they spiral down into that Black Hole from which they see no escape, can see no Light, can find no Hope nor can they find anything onto which they can cling. Suicide or a slow Self-Imposed destruction of the body will occur as the Will to live has been quashed and obliterated. An example: grooming by a pedophile so that when they ultimately do violate

you, you so Love them you cannot conceive or Believe that what is being done to you is wrong. You have been Conditioned to believe the behavior is Normal. Your inner voice screams: This is wrong! But you have been so brainwashed you Believe this Abhorrent Abuse is Love. If they are caught, you feel badly. You want to apologize. This is how badly you have been brainwashed. Another scenario: you are raised in an environment of such Physical or Emotional Abuse from the Time that you are an Innocent, helpless Infant that you do not know anything else, so you believe the Abuse is normal. That Abuse is the only Reality you know. I could go on and on but, in a nutshell, any Time anyone Harms, Manipulates or Controls another so as to rob them of their Free Will or destroy it altogether, repeatedly and Intentionally Abuses them on ANY level, this is a violation of Universal Law. It is a mortal Wounding of an Innocenct. It is an Intentional Infliction of Harm to a Divine Child. There will be no Redemption for those who inflict such harm for they do it Intentionally, with great calculation and plotting. This Behavior is unconscionable and Evil. And, please, do not ignore those you know who start abusing drugs, alcohol or withdraw, especially if they are the ones who never really tell you what is going on in their Life. View this Behavior as a potential Red Flag. It may not be, but if it is, they need someone to reach out to them. Be that Human Being. My Hope and Prayer is that you Learn to objectively Observe those with whom you interact and how they treat you. Do they Love YOU Unconditionally or Conditionally? Do they harm you Intentionally and repeatedly Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually – or any combination of these? KNOW and BELIEVE that you do not deserve to be Harmed or Disrespected in any manner. As a Divine Child you are meant to be Unconditionally Loved and ed. This Process of Acknowledging that someone is Intentionally Wounding you is Painful in itself. Once you recognize the Betrayal you will feel raw, deep Grief and Emotional Pain. But you MUST acknowledge it. You MUST walk through it. Shed those tears until they flow no longer. You cannot Heal a Wounding by burying it inside – as stated, this will lead to Dis-Ease in one form or another. Do not become a corn husk that dries up and eventually blows away. Do not let your Light die. Honor yourself. Love yourself, Unconditionally. If no one else does, YOU must Love YOURSELF Unconditionally. You must Protect your Divine Heart, your Soul. We are not here to suffer without reason.

Suffer we all will, for that is Life. But Learn from these situations. There is a Lesson in everything that happens to us. Learn. Grow. Break the Cycle. Start today, even if you simply start by observing. Observe. Then Detach. Pray for Strength, Patience, Wisdom, to be able to Forgive, for Forgiveness, Understanding, Grace and Love. Pray that you Learn to Love YOURSELF Unconditionally. Your angels and guides and Higher Self are there to help. All you need to do is ask. As Human Beings we Adapt. We Heal. We are resilient creatures. But you must not let anyone, including yourself, destroy you, crush you or limit you. Rise up. Crawl if you must. Do not let anyone damage or destroy your Spirit, your Soul. Find your Light. Honor it. Recognize it and be the Light you are meant to be in this World. Shine on!

Chapter Four The Inner Wounded Child

The “Inner Wounded Child” is a term that has gained recognition over the last few years, perhaps decades. It is an Archetype with which, if you are not, you should become familiar for we all have one. Every single one of us. King, Knight, Magician, Virgin and Prostitute are other examples of Archetypes. The Inner Wounded Child Archetype is a part of you that you always have, and always will, carry. View him or her as your small Child that had to Learn how to Survive before you should have because the Adults in your Life who were supposed to Unconditionally Love you, Protect you and Provide for your Needs failed to do so. Being primaly wired for Survival, the Child, even Infant, Learns what must be done to Survive. Quickly. Some Powerful stories I know: The Infant. I had a neighbor who had adopted a Young Boy from drug addicted Parents at the approximate age of four. He had been horribly Abused Emotionally and Physically. His most basic needs had not been provided for and he was forced to Learn how to fend for himself before he could walk or talk. Along comes a loving Family who adopts him and embraces him whole Heartedly and knows they can “fix” him with their Love and Time. Tragically, they were Mistaken for this Young Child had been so Abused he was incapable of bonding with others and was always focused on Survival for instinctively he knew he could not depend on anyone else. Ever. As he entered school, he was always getting into trouble in both the classroom and schoolyard. Unfortunately, he faced no consequences because the adoptive mother, not wanting to be labeled a bad Mother, always blamed the teacher or other Children. He grew into tweenhood and began stealing. He broke into cars and began vandalizing. He took and sold drugs. He got into Physical altercations with the adoptive Father. He ultimately was sent to juvenile hall on several occasions. He was released, and he continued to engage in “bad” Behavior. He continued to Abuse drugs. He dropped out of school. Still, the Parents always

found someone else to blame. Eventually he found a girlfriend, drug-addicted like himself. They got pregnant. They had a Child. I this Mother, now Grandmother, telling me how perfect the Infant was; how at three months old this perfect Baby never cried. Ever. The Grandparents knew the Parents were addicted to drugs, so they did not give them cash, they gave them food and diapers. But they let these drug addicted Parents have this Child. One night the Parents brought this three-month-old baby to the emergency room saying the Infant had been attacked by their cat. Well, that “cat” had broken every bone in that Child’s body and had anally perforated that Child. The Parents went to jail. It was the worst case of Child Abuse seen to date in that county. I will share one more story of a Divine Child who had been so damaged that ultimately all that could be done is put her in a home with other Children that had been egregiously Wounded as well. The professional consensus was that these profoundly Wounded Children can only function in a group environment with others equally Damaged because they build their own Community, Understand their own Rules and establish their own Hierarchy. I will just share this final story as an example of how a Divine Child is so Wounded in their Childhood that no amount of Unconditional Love can fix them. I have so many more of these stories, but quite honestly, they break my Heart. I am sure you know at least one yourself. A dear friend of mine and his wife had decided to foster, and possibly adopt a Child. The agency asked them if they would be willing to take twin three-month old Girls who had been taken away from their Parents because of drug and other issues which were not fully disclosed. They said yes. Fortunately, these Children were young enough, and had been removed early enough from their Abusive Environment that the Damage was not irreversible. After a few months the agency called them and said that the girls had a ten-year-old Sister who had recently been taken away from the Parents. My Friends said, yes, they would take the Sister. The Agency intentionally did not disclose that they were having problems placing the Sister as many foster families said she was too difficult and destructive. What the Agency also failed to disclose was that the Sister had been sexually Abused by her father since a very early age, and, on her tenth birthday, he pimped her out to Friends and

strangers. Throughout those ten years she had been starved and beaten as well. Initially my Friends found her hoarding and sometimes violent Behavior disconcerting and worrisome, but they Believed that with Time and Love all would be well. They took her to counseling. Nothing changed. She continued to do things such as hoarding food and stuffing it in her clothing and hiding it in her bedroom. She would throw herself at walls, bang her head until it bled, and fly into rages where she would kick and scratch the foster Parents. Finally, after two years, they went back to the agency and demanded to know the entire history of this girl. That is when they Learned the Truth. Undeterred, and hoping that the new information would help, they continued to pour their resources into getting her professional help. Again, no change. Then the Sister began to harm the twins, now two. Despite constant supervision, they knew it was only a matter of Time before something tragic would occur. And that is when a professional told them that the only reality for this girl, now twelve, was to be placed in a home with other Children with abusive histories. It broke their Hearts, but they could not allow the damaging conduct to continue, as they had also been told it would get worse as she became a teenager. So, with heavy Hearts, that is what was done. The twins are flourishing. I do not know about the Sister. The Inner Wounded Child of An Adult. I had a friend married for many years to a man that to others seemed personable, but he had no Friends himself. He constantly criticized her even though she was only positive and ive as he lost one job after another (always someone else’s fault). His response to whatever she said was to sigh, roll his eyes and state at least a dozen things that could go wrong. She eventually stopped talking to him. There was no intimacy of any kind. It was a Loveless marriage. People thought they had the perfect marriage because they never fought – what they did not know was that they did not talk either. She had more intimacy with perfect strangers. One night she was trying to address her unhappiness. He was sitting on the sofa and had had a few cocktails. He looked at her and said: “You beat me and yell at me”. She turned to see who was behind her. She looked back. He looked like a little boy. He repeated his statement. Suddenly it dawned on her. Someone, perhaps his Mother or Grandmother, who

had lived with them when he was a Child, had yelled and beaten him. And he had, for their entire relationship, been projecting that onto her, so that no matter what she said and did, by the Time it got through all his filters, he perceived it as yelling and criticism. Though she had never raised her voice or fist, he apparently waited for a strike, verbal or Physical. He projected his Wounding onto her, constantly criticizing and belittling her. She had tried for years to “fix” him with her Love. Instead, his Conditional Love was destroying her. She became depressed. She consulted a professional who suggested that the next Time she tried to speak with him about their “issues” she ask that he keep his “Adult” present. They were on a walk. She said this, and he reverted to acting like a small Child throwing a tantrum. The walk was a loop – and he immediately took off the other way. So much for trying. Nothing changed. She finally had to chose herself. It came at a steep price for he was not willing to let her go. She left twice and came back three times. She was worried about him. But the silent invisible destruction continued. When he finally realized she was going to leave for good he set out to destroy her socially, professionally and financially. But she survived and is grateful she finally found the strength to leave and chose herself regardless of what others thought. Think about every Time you have tried to honestly speak with someone and their reaction turned to one of immediate Self-Defense and Criticism of you. You send one one email or text and you get twenty in response. Criticizing you. That is the Inner Wounded Child surfacing. The Child is Protecting itself from a perceived threat. Never forget everyone has their own Perception that does not necessarily have ANYTHING to do with Reality. That Inner Wounded Child Protects you like no other. We all have a different Perception of an event. Perception, however, is not Reality. What is ironic to me is that Inner Wounded Child is the reason one is able to survive a Physically or Emotionally abusive situation. Because of that Inner Child, focused on Survival, that Individual Learned to fend for him or her self. They also Learned they could not Trust others to help them - ever. As they grew into Adulthood they eventually left that abusive situation where they were Dependent on Abuse Caregivers. However, that Inner Wounded Child remains and is ALWAYS there ready to arise when needed for One’s Protection and Defense.

What you MUST Understand is that while those behaviors served you as a Child when you had to fend for yourself, they no longer serve you. In fact, they hold you back from truly being able to Love and be Loved, Unconditionally. Unconditionally Loving the Inner Wounded Child of Another. Know, again, that you cannot heal or fix the Inner Wounded Child of another. All you can really do is Unconditionally Love that Human Being, and when their Inner Wounded Child surfaces, Love that Inner Wounded Child as well and know that it has surfaced because it perceives a threat. A caveat, however: if that Inner Wounded Child begins to attack you verbally or otherwise, graciously and calmly remove yourself from the situation. It is almost impossible to have a one-way argument. So, be prepared and have prepared what you will say. For example: “I’m sorry, but I have to leave now. Let’s talk soon.” Do not get angry and do not react. Simply smile and leave. That way you have done nothing that the Inner Wounded Child can truly interpret as attack, harm or bad intent. Now, that is no guarantee that they will still not perceive whatever you said or did as an attack, but over Time and with Reflection, hopefully that Individual will come to realize that you intend no Harm. If, however, you are continually provoked or accused or attacked, it may well be Time for you to evaluate that relationship and perhaps move on. If you do so, Bless them silently and do just that – Move On. Healing and Unconditionally Loving Your Inner Wounded Child. To begin to Heal yourself and your Inner Wounded Child try this exercise: Picture yourself as a Small Child. See that Divine Child throw back his or her head and laugh with all their Heart. See that Divine Child become so excited and joyful to see a rainbow and its vibrant colors. See that Divine Child long to jump on those huge clouds, convinced they will be ed. Now look at their Heart. Look at that small Circle of Light, of Unconditional Love that is within that Divine Child’s Heart. That Light IS that Divine Child. It is the Light of the Divine. It is the pure Light and Love that became Manifest. That Light WAS and IS you. Envision that Light. See it emanate throughout every cell in that Divine Child’s body. See how that Light surrounds that Divine Child -that Light of Unconditional Love, of the Divine. That Divine Child is Unconditional Love. That Child IS the Divine. That Divine Child is you. Now see yourself as you are today. See that Divine Child walk up to you and take your hand. The Divine Child motions you to lift them up. You do so. That

Divine Child gives you a Heartfelt, strong, unconditional hug as only a Child can. You feel the Unconditional Love. That Divine Child now points to your own Heart. You look down. You see that circle of Light within yourself, the Light you put away quite some Time ago. Watch as that Light becomes brighter, stronger. Can you feel it emanate through every cell of your body? Every fiber of your being? Can you feel it surround you, Protecting you? Can you feel this confirmation of your connection to the Divine Mother and Divine Father? To the entire Universe? The Divine Child that is you once again throws her head back and laughs that unselfconscious laugh. You cannot help but laugh with her. That joyous, contagious, Pure Laughter of your Soul, of the Manifest that now is. The Manifest that is Pure Potential. Now put the Child down and take her hand. Now envision yourself at that Time of your Life you forgot about your Light. You and the Divine Child approach your Other Self. You all smile at each other at the recognition of your Other Self. You and your Divine Child point to the Heart of your Other Self that you both Unconditionally Love. See that initial small Circle of blinding Light grow and explode through every cell, every fiber of each of your Beings. See all three of you hands and laugh in the Light that is bathing each of you, all of you, for you are All One. Now the Divine Child hugs you both and slowly becomes part of that Pure Light that surrounds you and your Other Self and that is also in each of you. Your Other Self, having found her Essence and Light again, also s that Pure Light. It surrounds you and is in you. It IS you. Observe again your Other Self, glowing with the Divine Light of Love, of the Unmanifest and Manifest, come to you and smile. She points to your Heart. You can feel that Circle of brilliant Light. Feel it emanate in every cell of your Being. Feel it infuse you with Unconditional Love. Your Other Self slowly becomes pure Light that enfolds you. Feel your Light. Feel your Love. Feel your Divine Essence. Feel your connection to the Universe. Feel the source of Unconditional Love from which you emerged. Say a prayer of Gratitude for your Light. Say a prayer of Gratitude for the Unconditional Love of the Divine Mother and Divine Father, the Universe and all its Blessings, known and

unknown, which have been bestowed upon you. that Light always burns within you and that you are Unconditionally Loved. Unconditionally Love yourself.

Chapter Five Orphans of Culture

There are those of us who have always been Unconventional. While not necessarily allowing all of our Uniqueness to show, we let enough out to sometimes make others Uncomfortable, for we did not q u i t e conform to the “mold”. What we really are is Individuals. We are people who think for ourselves. We do not just blindly accept what we are told. If we do not agree with a Rule because it is Unjust or Immoral, we will not follow it. While we try to fit in, we not only Hear, but cannot resist the call to march to the Rhythm of our Individual drum. We are Loners ultimately. We can assimilate and do, but feel as though we never quite fit in. This is how I define an Orphan of Culture. So, until you step into your Authentic Self, you may find yourself feeling lost and depressed at Times. You can’t quite put your finger on it. After all, everything on the outside looks fine: your job, your Friends, etc. But the issue is not with the external World, it is your Inner World that keeps calling and you keep ignoring that call. Again, this is something that may cause someone to self-medicate or take prescription drugs for depression. It is my personal belief that those prescription drugs cut you off even more from your Inner Voice and Essence. And, they have many adverse side effects, but one commonly known one is the increase in suicidal tendencies. Ironic: As a result of taking these prescriptions people sometimes kill themselves. Well, I have good news for all you fabulously unique Orphans of Culture. The reason you have always felt out of place, is because this current Planet does not abide by Universal Law. It has used culture, race, gender, religion, politics, socioeconomics, etc. to divide us. The primary systems are Patriarchal and punishing. Materialism is rampant. Most people operate from their Mind/Ego, not their Heart. An Orphan of Culture is always guided primarily by their Heart. Theirs is usually a Moral Com of Truth and Integrity. They cannot tolerate Injustice. And, in this World, it makes you feel alone.

As we step into this New Paradigm, these old systems will fall away and be replaced by systems wherein the Masculine and Feminine are Co-Equals. Balance will be restored. Individuals will again be allowed to be just that; the limiting False and Superficial Constructs imposed upon people by family, culture, society, religion, etc., shall fade away. No longer will you be an Orphan of Culture. You will be a Teacher, a Leader to those who had never dared to follow their Inner Voice. Your Time has come.

Chapter Six Live an Authentic Life

It’s rather ironic to me that perfect strangers I meet will say: “I wish I had your Life”. I typically laugh and tell them: “Well, this is my Life. It took me almost 60 years to find it. You need to find yours, for it will be unique and perfect for you, as mine is unique and perfect for me.” Now, compare this reaction to the reaction of Family and Friends who think I am mad. Lawyering was my profession for almost thirty years, but once my Children were grown and college tuition had been paid I decided to do some of the things I had always Loved and that most people knew little about. I spent a year making organic, extra virgin olive oil. I personally maintained a thirteen acre, three thousand tree olive orchard. I Learned how to trim the trees and how to fix an irrigation line. Not quite a “lawyer” thing. My Family and Friends literally thought me insane. Add to this that in my spare Time I began playing my guitar at venues. I Painted, much of Times outside the lines. I went camping. I took photographs and I began to write. This prior city girl, now in the countryside, also had chickens and sheep. I carded wool and spun yarn. I had visions of knitting my kids these fabulous warm wool sweaters. Well, let me tell you, just one was so heavy the sweater would have ended up weighing fifty pounds! So, they became doormats or wall art. I also got rid of my “nice” car and bought a used truck. Very practical when one is lugging equipment around. At one point I received a letter from my father offering me an all-expense paid ten-day vacation at a quiet “resort” where he assured me the medication would kick in in seventy-two hours. I received a beautiful card from a Sister that on the outside said: You’re Perfect. In the inside she had written: “You need help”. In the World of psychology some call it Projecting. Truly, I don’t know what to call it other than Perception or, better yet, judgmental misperception. What can you do? Here’s what you do. You realize that is their issue, not yours. You stop trying to explain. It doesn’t matter. First of all, you owe no one an explanation as long as you are not causing anyone any harm. Secondly, it doesn’t matter what you say because it is not what they hear. So rigid are they in their

own well defined, “follow-the-unspoken and unwritten rules” and structured life that they have no clue what to do with you other than think you mad. Let them. And then, go live your Authentic Life. Speak your Truth. Let those unique Gifts which are yours and yours alone shine. Your Heart will sing. And, I promise, as the old Friends and Family fall away, or walk or run away, new people will enter your Life that share your ion and Dreams. I didn’t need help. I tried to explain that with the kids grown and out of the house, this was who I am… this was me…all of me. But their vision of me was as a lawyer. They did not know what to do as I no longer fit into a well-defined box. Unconventional I have always been. But this was something apparently no one was truly prepared for except for those few who had always known all of me. Their reaction was one of and excitement. Here’s what happens when you lead a Life primarily for others which conforms to their expectations of you: you suffer Depression, Dis-Ease, or gain an Addiction. This is because you are out of Balance. Your Soul and Heart are trying to talk to you, but you ignore the call. You deaden it. You numb it. You numb yourself. Stop it. LISTEN to your Heart and Soul. If you don’t, I guarantee you, you will continue to be miserable. You just will. That’s how it works. All the nice new toys, distractions and social status will not make you feel better inside. You can play the happy-go-lucky part, but it is False, and you know it. No one else may, but you do. You know you do. So, as you decide to step into your Authentic Life, let me warn you of a few things. First, you can no longer be afraid to be who you are and to speak your Truth. As long as you are guided by a Moral Com of Love and Good Intent, you are harming no one. Well, I take that back, you are harming other’s perception of you and they no longer know what to do with you. I try to tell them, just because my Normal is not your Normal does not mean I am crazy. What the heck is “Normal” anyway? Just know that they must do what they must just as you must do as you must. Don’t we all compartmentalize to a large degree? Which face do you show your business colleagues, your Family, your community? Who truly knows all of you? Do you even know yourself? Think about it. Think about what was or is still your ion that you let lie dormant. Are you excited when you go to work or is it just a means to an end – a paycheck to pay the endless Debt of Material Goods accumulated because that is what is shoved down our throats in this

Culture. New iPhone? Gotta have it! No matter that the one I have is perfectly fine. Big house? Huge house? Why? Who cleans the damn thing? How many rooms are unused? When do you get to enjoy those “toys” you have? Do you ever put down your damn phone and really talk with the Human Being with whom you’re present? Do you? When was the last Time you unplugged for a day…an hour? It scares people to even think about it. Do it. Just do it. Start with an hour if you need to. The World will not come to an end, I promise. Go into nature somewhere…a park, the beach, the mountains, a forest – somewhere where it’s just you and you can be Still. Really. Be Still. Go where the only sounds are those of Nature: the wind, the water, the birds. Try to clear your head, or just Observe, without Judgment, the thoughts that come unbidden. Just breathe. And Imagine, if you were unconstrained by Debt and Social Constructs what you really would Love to do…to try…to BE. That’s how you start. As for me, I think my Family and old Friends watch…and wait…and say well… she’s bound to have a bi-polar episode soon, isn’t she? Well, they can wait. And they can continue to talk about me because they certainly don’t talk to me. And beware of that as well. Only say kind things about others or shut down gossip. What is the purpose except to make yourself feel better or superior. News Flash: You cannot Control what others think. Not everyone will like you. That’s Life. Treasure the real Friends you have. Find your new Soul Tribe. I always say I’m Grateful I can count my “have your back” Friends on one hand… because goodness knows, how many Times do you really what to tell someone what’s going on in your Life. And to those you do, it’s nice when you know they will not turn around and play the telephone game or gossip game and Distort and Interpret and Judge what was said. For me now, it’s about Actions, not Words. Words are just that. So Act. Act well. Find your Authentic Life. After all, you only have this one and it will quickly. It’s called the Present for a reason – it’s a Gift. No guarantee of the next breath. So, what are you waiting for? No one else is going to do it for you. Take a Leap. And if you Fall, know there will be those who Unconditionally Love you who will pick you up, dust you off and point you on your way. Just as you do for them.

Don’t forget. Failure is indeed one of Life’s best teachers. Go make some Mistakes and have fun doing it. And I can’t wait to Hear about your journey finding Authentic Life. You will know when you find it because it happens when you finally let go of what you think your Life should look like. That is when a Life you could not have Imagined for yourself, because we limit ourselves, will Manifest.

Chapter Seven Impediments to the Divine Heart – Fear, Attachment, Selfishness and Greed

While there may be several impediments to Living an Authentic Life from the Divine Heart versus the Mind/Ego, it is my belief that there are four major blocks: Fear, Attachment, Selfishness and Greed. While Unconditional Love is the Highest Vibration, the aforementioned four states of Mind/Ego are a denser, Lower Vibration. Denser Energies keep you anchored to the proverbial and temporary Material World. And all of Us and every thing on this Planet is comprised of Energy which has different levels of Vibration, much like the frequencies of colors on the color spectrum. An Individual must learn to recognize and release from these Lower Energies or Environments of Lower Energies in which they may find themselves. This is necessary in order to purely operate from the Divine Heart, which is the Highest Vibration. One must Learn to Trust, to have Faith, to Understand, seek Wisdom and truly Know that things are just that – things – and it is very True that you cannot take them with you when you leave this Planet. You can also lose them all in this Lifetime. But what you can never lose is Unconditional Love. That’s where you want to Be, for when you are, you will find that you always have Enough. Always. Even when it comes at what you Believe to be the last possible Moment. What is needed will come if you Trust and Surrender. This is not easy. But when, for the majority of Time, you can do this: Trust and Believe in a Divine Plan, then you will be Living your Life at the Highest possible Vibration: Pure, Unconditional Love. This is what you must strive for, because you will be constantly challenged in this Life. So often it will seem like it would be SO MUCH EASIER to go back to your Old Ways and Old Life but once you have stepped away from it, or it has been stripped from you, you KNOW this is no longer your Truth. You know what it is, you now see it for what it is: a False Truth. You no longer want a False Life, you want an Authentic One. In fact, you demand it. You only want Authentic People in your Life. Even if you are living under a bridge, every day you will encounter Earth Angels or seemingly random events that somehow get you through that day, until you fully step into your Authentic Life and become the very Embodiment of Divine Love. It will fill you

and spill out of you. People will be drawn to you not knowing why. The reason is that they are attracted to your Light of Unconditional Love. If not seen, it is felt. People will be drawn to your Higher Vibration. FEAR. Sometimes, I swear, when the phone rings I can just Feel that the Individual calling is in Crisis and panicked. When you answer the phone, you can hear the Fear in their voice. But let’s step back and think about this for a moment. What exactly is Fear? I believe Fear is a concern about something that May or May Not happen. One tends to project the worst outcome. What a drain on one’s Energy! It is, of course, also a Lower Vibration State of Being. My advice is always: 1. Take a breath. 2. Calm down. 3. What is the concern? 4. What has happened up to this moment? Example: someone thinks MAY lose their job. Well, if that is the case, why don’t you be Proactive, rather than Reactive? What I mean by that is, instead of fretting and losing sleep over what MAY happen, why don’t you PROACTIVELY look for another Opportunity somewhere else where you might ultimately be more fulfilled? I understand “security” but “security” is nothing but an Illusion. Another example: Parents constantly Fear for the safety and well-being of their Children. But Life is unpredictable. Something can happen to any one of us at any moment. Often, while the Parent is right there an accident will occur. You can worry worry worry, or you can just Trust that All Will be Well. And, if something does happen, THEN you do something about it. Now, that does not mean you don’t have Safe Boundaries for your Children. Of course, you limit the possibility that Harm will come to them; but conversely, they must Learn to go out and be in the World. You find the Balance. One day you, the Parent, will no longer be there. Ultimately, as your Children grow, you transition from Manager to Consultant. You should, anyway. Your job is to give them Wings so they can fly. If they fall, you will be there to dust them off and point them on their way. Think about all the Times you had a “crisis” (I prefer the word “challenge”) in your Life. I also love the fact that the Chinese symbol for “crisis” is actually two symbols: Opportunity and Danger. Something unexpected happened and it typically sends one into a tailspin of Fear. I believe Fear is primarily caused by our lack of Control over a situation. But, we really cannot and do not Control anything. Regardless, we worry about the Outcome: the When, the How, the Where. The best advice I can give you is to Breathe and Trust, for all storms . Let me say that again: All Storms . Where does one find a Rainbow?

At the end of the Storm, just as the Sun rises each morning. Yes, the night is Dark, but even in the Dark of the Night there are Stars if you chose to see them. But the Dawn comes again… Light comes again in the morning. And, as you know from Challenges you have faced before, all Crises, like all Storms, come to an End. that. Release Fear and look for the Lessons and Blessings in every situation, even those that are the seemingly Darkest, for there is always Light to be found if you look for it. It’s quite simple. Don’t make it hard. Look for the Light. Look for the Lessons. ATTACHMENT. We live in a consumer-driven Material World. Things. New things, shiny things: Adult and children toys, homes, cars, televisions, clothes, phones, gadgets, restaurants, vacations and on and on. Everywhere you turn, literally, there is a television screen in your face, if not your own computer or phone, with ads popping up with the latest and greatest that you feel compelled to buy. Compelled. Driven. Why? You work hard, buy things on credit, then must work harder to keep the Debt under Control, as you continue to buy, buy, buy. Why do you need to get the latest version of a phone for several hundreds of dollars when the one you have is perfectly fine? Because it is what is expected in this Consumer World. Friends and colleagues comment that you have the “newest” version. People notice. Who cares? Too many people. We buy houses that stretch our budgets to the limit. How many rooms in your Home go unused? Who cleans your house? Who maintains your yard? Do you ever actually have the Time to enjoy it? Do you limit your entertaining of Friends because it will take too much Time or Effort to clean? Or do you Fear they will be looking at everything you possess and Judging you? It’s silly, really. Have you ever lost everything? In a fire? A burglary? A natural disaster? What do you hear people say who you see on the news who have had this Experience? More often than not they are Thankful that they escaped with their Life. And the Possessions they mourn the loss of are those that cannot be replaced –photos, letters, personal items. Not the furniture, not the other things. So, to move more deeply into your Divine Heart you must Learn to Appreciate the “things” that truly matter. And those are Family and Friends who Unconditionally Love you. And they do so despite the things you have. They always will.

Look around your Home. How many things do you have that you never use; that have sat, literally, for years without a thought. Perhaps you can start there. Sell them if you must, or donate them to organizations who help those who have fallen on hard Times and have no “things”. It is Actually quite liberating. Surround yourself only with those possessions that bring you Joy. Old, new, well-worn, well-Loved, it matters not. One of my stories that still makes me laugh is that when I got married I really did not want to for china and crystal. I am such a hurricane, I knew all those things would be broken quickly, or I would be too afraid to use them. That’s me. But people insisted. So, I did. I ed, and I received beautiful fragile things. Well, I went to put them all in an old cabinet that needed a brick to stabilize it. After placing the last item, I took a step back thinking of the dusting and breakage that lay in my future. Then, as if in slow motion, the cabinet began to tilt forward and there was nothing I could do. BOOM! CRASH! Every thing shattered, and I thought: “Thank God it happened all at once”. I meant it. My Friends now give me plastic glasses. Those items would rarely have been used and they would have brought me more stress than joy. The china had a different outcome. I kept it stored and never used it. Conversely, my grandmother had beautiful china and used it all the Time, so I have wonderful Memories of gatherings and meals with her special china, although I was always nervous I would break something. But as I moved out of the home I had raised my Children in for twenty-three years I contemplated that my china would have no Meaning or Memories for them. I sold it without a second thought. When we moved out of that house we filled two three-ton dumpsters. We donated vans of goods. How many pasta machines or coffee makers does one need? Old clothes, pictures, books, knickknacks, odds and ends…it was a major purge. And once I got started, it was: “Out, Out, Out!”. But I still had so many things! Clothes and shoes that I kept for decades. Decades. Gone. If you have never done this you have no idea how liberating it is. I live simply and in a small space now. All rooms are used. My “things” are pared down to those items that have Memories and personal meaning to me. Each and every item brings me Joy. I can be anywhere in my Home and look in any direction and feel Blessed and Grateful.

Where to begin? That’s for you to decide but perhaps one of those stuffed closets you haven’t opened for twenty years is a place to start; or, perhaps those things in boxes in the garage with their unknown contents. Just begin. One step at a Time. One thing at a Time. And then, when you want to purchase something new ask yourself: “Do I want it, or do I need it”? Chances are your answer will be want, not need. So just think about that. Ask yourself why you want it? Be honest. After all, you’re the only one having that conversation. And if you do really want it…save for it so you pay for cash and not go further into debt. It can wait. It is just another thing. SELFISHNESS. When you constantly put your own perceived needs above those of other Human Beings this is Selfishness. When you assess any situation and only ask yourself what’s in it for you, this is Selfishness. When you fail to grasp that your Actions and Words always affect other Human Beings and they should be done or spoken with Love, that is Selfishness. When you are always your number one concern and priority, that is Selfishness. When you place others before you, you begin to release Selfishness. Every Time you Think, Speak or Act, step back and Observe, not Judge. What is your Motivation? Is it you or is it for the benefit of another? Are you driven by something you really need or is it something you want – materially, emotionally or otherwise. It is True that in giving you Receive. Start by Giving with no Expectation of anything in return. Find the Joy in that, for you will find great Blessings, not only for yourself, but for the Human Being that is the recipient of your good Word, Gift or Deed. And, again, I am speaking of Simple Things, the Smallest of Things. A hug, a smile, a meal, a conversation where you Listen. Another place to start: write a letter (not an email or text) to someone you Love and tell them why. GREED. Greed is really the accumulation of Fear, Attachment and Selfishness. You take, buy, hoard, accumulate, steal and consume as though you can never get Enough. And, you never do feel as though you have Enough. News Flash: If you operate from Greed, you will N E V E R have Enough. Ever. Greed is a bottomless pit. Where to start? Ask yourself: Why do I need this? Why do I believe I need more? How much is Enough? What is there a Void I am trying to fill? Ask until

you Understand that Enough is, in Reality, very little: a roof over your head, food for your stomach, Friends, Laughter and Love. Ok, maybe money for gas and bills…but don’t be a Miser. You can Accumulate, and things will sit there, as you know they do. Releasing from Fear, Attachment, Selfishness and Greed will take Practice, Patience and Time for it is a Deconstruction of False Believes with which you have been ingrained by Society, Family, Culture, Religion, etc. You need to begin to objectively, without Judgment, observe your Thoughts, Beliefs and Actions. One step at a Time. Just one. Even if it’s the smallest of steps, begin. Each step is a good one as it signifies moving forward. Move Forward. Keep Moving Forward.

Chapter Eight Balance

Definition of BALANCE 1a: Physical equilibrium … 2a: stability produced by even distribution of weight on each side of the vertical axis … b: equipoise between contrasting, opposing, or or interacting elements …

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/balance. 12.21.17

The next Time you look at a Tree, notice its Uniqueness. Notice how its branches reach out and up. The limbs have grown that way because a Tree knows how to Balance itself. I find that amazing. We have that same innate Knowledge, but we ignore it. You know when your Life is out of Balance. You can feel it. It physically, emotionally or spiritually impacts you. As Human Beings we MUST Learn to Balance ourselves. We must start with our own self, just as we must first Learn to Love our self Unconditionally. Balance is also a Universal Principle. It is required not only of us personally, but in relationships, societies, cultures, nations, and, of course, Balance is also required

for Mother Earth. You need only to look around to know the Planet is out of Balance. As a Young Adult, a friend of mine was studying science. She found it fascinating. At that time in my life I had no interest in science. None. I was blissfully ignorant of the Miracles of this Planet and the Life on it that s us. For example, we breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide. Trees take in carbon dioxide and release oxygen. Do you know how many trees and forests are destroyed every day without being replaced? Think about it. We take our ability to breathe for granted. Don’t. I my friend telling me that Nature has its own Balance and that if Man attempts to alter that Balance, Mother Nature will come back with a vengeance as she tries to Balance herself. Some recent fires in California are examples. In Nature small fires occur normally. Fires are necessary, for example, the seeds of a pine cone only burst and are released by Fire. Man, however, puts out these Fires which should instead be allowed to naturally occur. We do this to ourselves as well, but sometimes we too need a Fire in our Lives in order to let New Life emerge. This is analogous to many things discussed in this book: if the small issue is not addressed it grows larger until something catastrophic or extreme occurs. The accumulated fuel in a forest becomes a conflagration which is not easily stopped. It often burns until it burns itself out. The damage is far more extensive than it would have been had the small natural fires been allowed to burn. Mankind has done much Damage to Mother Earth. We have poisoned her Air, Water and Soil. We have altered plants. In doing so we are poisoning ourselves. We have wasted precious Resources. We have taken them for granted. Where will our Balance be when there no longer enough Trees to take in the carbon dioxide Human Beings breathe out and the Trees breathe in, releasing it back to us as oxygen? What happens when too much Water is rendered undrinkable? What happens when Seas, Lakes and Rivers are so poisoned thousands of Species die. On Land Species are becoming extinct at a never before seen rate. And Climate Change is still debated while glaciers continue to melt, and polar bears die. Be Aware. Be a Good Steward for Mother Earth. She sustains us. We must stop our thoughtless destruction before it is too late for Human Beings as a species. Enough of the Planet for the moment. What about you? Your Body, Mind and

Spirit require Balance as well. You instinctively know when you’re out of Balance. Physically: you feel unwell, uneasy, have small aches and pains, or have Low Energy. Typically, we ignore these Symptoms or take a pill of some kind. But you must Understand that although the Symptom may be treated, the Cause goes undiagnosed and untreated until it grows into something more damaging to you Physically, Emotionally and/or Spiritually. Do you know when you are out of Balance Spiritually? Have you ever been Depressed, Anxious or Fearful? If so, do you know Why? Learn to Listen to your Body. Learn to Balance yourself. Take Time for yourself in a quiet space. Think about what is causing Dis-Ease, Stress or Anxiety in your Life. Think about whether it is a Toxic or Imbalanced Relationship you are in that is causing Stress. Find the Cause. It can be as simple as the frenetic pace at which you live your Life. Are you overeating even when you know you are not hungry? What is literally gnawing at you? What are you not facing? What is out of Balance in your Life Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually? Is it your Physical Body, Emotional State or Ethereal Body that is the Source of Dis-Ease? What is your Physical, Emotional or Spiritual Imbalance? You are the One who must discover the Imbalance. Only then can you begin to make changes that will lead to Healing. Opposites Balance each other. Ying and Yang, Dark and Light, opposite energies, attract and Balance each other. Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine Balance each other. Judgment is Balanced by Mercy and Comion. Each swing of the pendulum to the opposite side is of Equidistance. What goes up must come down. Osmosis is a process which occurs naturally in Nature where if one component is too high, it will slowly be diffused until Equalization – Balance – is achieved. The Higher Concentration becomes a Lower Concentration, and vice versa until Balance is achieved. There is an old expression: As Within so Without; as Above, so Below. These are just a few examples of Balance. When the Imbalance becomes extreme, one can find one’s Self on a Precipice. One haywire cell grows into a Malignant tumor. Arteries become clogged to the point where One’s blood cannot flow unimpeded – the Blockage needs to be Unblocked. What has slowly accumulated on the walls of your veins needs to be stripped and scraped clean. Where are things accumulating in your life Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually? Do some cleaning, as many Individuals do to their homes in the Spring.

There is a Season and a Time for all things, but we must Learn to recognize our own Seasons. There are times when One needs to slow down, perhaps play the Hermit a bit to get ready for the Spring. How much sleep do you get each night? Do you sleep well? What is the current Season you personally are in? Look at the Rhythms of Nature. You have them as well – daily, monthly, etc. Nature is a great Teacher of Rhythm and Cycles and Seasons. Just look at the Phenomenon of the Moon and Tides. There is a pull – High Tide and Low Tide. Balance. Mother Earth herself is in a current state of Imbalance and may very well be on a Precipice if Human Beings do not stop their thoughtless and intentional Ignorance of the extent to which the Air, Water and Soil and other Resources have already been Poisoned. Human Beings must Understand that this Damage has Consequences for all Life – People, Animals and Plants. If you allow your Imbalance to continue too long you too shall find yourself on a Precipice Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually. A chronic or terminal disease or mental illness are just one or two things that can occur. Dis-Ease is guaranteed until you restore your Balance. To begin to examine what is not in Balance, go…sit…find quiet. Contemplate what in your Life is out of Balance: If you prefer, journal. Do you your Dreams? Is the issue something Physical, Emotional and/or Spiritual? Once you have that answer you can begin to restore Balance. And again, be gentle. It took a while to develop your Imbalance and it will most likely take you some Time to regain your Balance.

Chapter Nine The Self-Destructive Act of Sabotage

SABOTAGE – … 2. ACTION TO HINDER an Action taken to undermine or destroy somebody’s efforts or achievements. [Mid-19thC French From French saboteur “to clatter in clogs,” hence “to Act clumsily, work badly, ruin,”. Encarta World English Dictionary, First Edition, St. Martin’s Press 1995

In our Lives, we occasionally cross Paths with someone who attempts to sabotage us – professionally, personally or socially. There is little one can do about it but try to remove that Individual from one’s Life. The reason you need to distance yourself is simply because you cannot Control someone else. But what about your personal Saboteur - the one that lurks within and emerges when a Choice needs to be made. Each of us has a Saboteur that we allow to step in and make wrong Choices for us. Repeatedly we simply step aside, let the Saboteur Control, temporarily abdicating and avoiding Responsibility for our Actions. The difference between an outside Saboteur and your own is you have the Power to Control your Saboteur. This is especially True when you’re trying to make Lifestyle modifications such as improving your Health and Well-Being. You do this each Time you find an excuse not to take that walk or exercise. You do it each Time you eat even though you’re not hungry or you grab that second helping or eat something you know is not good for you (but it tastes good, right?). You overindulge in alcohol, drugs, food, soda, etc. How many Times do you start your day with firm Resolve, only to give in to your Saboteur, your Shadow Self, at some point?

Aren’t you tired of your Saboteur? There is a simple way to deal with this Villain. You simply have to take back Control of that aspect of your Life you have ceded to the Saboteur. You need to accept responsibility for your every thought and Action. YOU need to Consciously make each and every Choice in your Life. They don’t all need to be Perfect or “Good”, they just need to be Choices made Consciously by you. Your Choices should reflect your desire to take care of yourself and Unconditionally Love yourself. How do you banish your Saboteur? First, you need to Learn to recognize your Saboteur. Observe when your Saboteur appears. Watch how you voluntarily step back. In what situations does your Saboteur appear? What does the Saboteur tell you? Second, you need to confront the Saboteur. You need to talk back. When the Saboteur tells you it doesn’t matter, tell the Saboteur it does. You need to decisively take back the Control you have given the Saboteur in your Life. You need to take back the Power of your Life, your Body, your Mind, your Soul and your Choices. You need to sabotage the Saboteur. Get to it. Have fun!

Chapter Ten The Rise of the Divine Feminine

Eons ago, with Intent by those who craved Power and Control over Mankind, the Divine Feminine, as a Balanced Partner to the Divine Masculine, Co-Leader and Co-Equal, was removed from history leaving the World with a Patriarchal System of societies, cultures, myths, religion and families. Removing the Divine Mother and sidelining Her left us with a Patriarchal, Judgmental God. Balance between Masculine and Feminine, as was intended to be, was destroyed and ultimately Forgotten. No longer was there Comion and Mercy to Balance Judgment. Consciously or Unconsciously based on religion, myths and culture Men were taught they were superior and that Women would lead them to sin or worse, steal their Power. The stories of Adam and Eve and Sampson and Delilah are just two examples. Women became Property and Possessions. Instead of standing as Co-Equals besides Men, they were relegated to the kitchen and bedroom; Virgins or Whores. The Feminine voice was silenced. Women became subservient, and Consciously or Unconsciously this is how Women came to view themselves over Time. Matriarchal cultures were Forgotten. Over the centuries some Women have stood up and tried to have their voices Heard. But repeatedly, they were silenced. Joan of Arc, for example, was useful for a while, but once the battles were won and she continued to state she heard Divine Voices, well, the Patriarchal System had to silence her. The Establishment did not want the People to know they could connect directly with the Divine. They wanted people to believe they had to go through the Church and the Church Elders. Of course, there was always a price wasn’t there? So they burned her at the stake. An uneducated teen-aged farm Girl that had led Men into battle, was too much of a threat to the existing Patriarchal religious system. Legend states that after she burned her Heart remained in the ashes, unscathed. How many of the Women suffragettes were thrown into jail before they were granted the right to vote? How many “witches” were burned at the stake? How long were Women excluded from professions? They could only be nuns, not priests, secretaries, not bosses, etc. I personally love the Irony in the fact that Henry the VIII killed so many of his wives in the quest for a male heir, which

never arrived. Queen Elizabeth (after she and Mary had thousands slaughtered in the name of religion) became the longest ruler of England. The epitome and unravelling of the current Patriarchal System is symbolized by the Hollywood Sex Scandal which continues to explode and expand into politics, business, religion and all facets of society. The Abuse of Women and Children, sexually and otherwise, is garnering more attention. The Injustices of the Patriarchal Systems are being cast into the Light. The exposure of Truth is growing in Mass and Speed like a snowball barreling downhill. Initially, true to our History, there was little for the Victim. The Female was always attacked. The consensus was she MUST have asked for it. Slowly, ever so slowly, however, other voices ed in or shared their own stories. There are many stories, too many in fact. Condemnation of the Accused, a giant in the industry, was inexcusably absent initially. Other rapists, now living in foreign countries, were still worshipped. This became even more egregious as it was revealed how prevalent and known the decades-long Pattern of Abuse had been tolerated and covered up. The careers of Women who tried to Speak the Truth were destroyed. Even worse to me is that Women understood and, for the most part, accepted this was a “Price” they had to pay for ission to this circus. They became a Prostitute – the Prostitute Archetype is someone (male or female) willing to sell themselves in return for Some Thing. Sometimes Prostitutes are forced to sell themselves for Survival. In Hollywood some paid the Price willingly. Others did not. The initial quivering show of slowly, then exponentially, gained Strength, as it should, for clearly our societies, politics, cultures and religion are out of Balance when so many Men believe a Woman or Child is there for their selfish Pleasure, Taking, Manipulation and Control. No Consent. Historically, Consent is not needed from someone Inferior. Many believe it has just always happened and always will. What kind of Justification is this for Abuse of another Human Being that is so Morally Wrong? Something is horrifically Wrong when the Abuse of the Powerful is accepted, and worse, covered up. Consequences be damned…oh, wait, there were no Consequences, for too often the Women remained silent because they knew they would be vilified and attached; or if they spoke, they were not Believed or treated as Whores, maligned, discredited, or banned from the industry, ostracized from social circles. The same is true of Women who accuse their Father or Brother or another Family Member of Abuse. Who has the Power? Who is believed? Not the Victim. No One wants to attack

the Powerful for there are always Adverse Consequences. Always (ok…maybe just 99% of the time). In the current Patriarchal Society Family, culture, religion, politics, legends, history and lore conditioned Women to Believe we MUST have asked for it because we are either Virgins or Whores. Mary Magdalen anyone? I know countless stories of Women Abused by their Fathers and their Mothers turned a Blind Eye, sealed her ears and silenced her tongue. One Mother told her daughter during a therapy session when the Daughter was in her fifties that “it kept him off me”. And what if the Accused is such a pillar of society that no one can possibly Believe it; or they hold such Power no one dares confront them. This calls to mind The Emperor Has No Clothes tale. What historically happens to the Acc? They are discredited. Society and those that carried out their Punishment used to burn the Victim or drown them, but now they Character Assassinate them and call the Acc crazy. Currently what is occurring in this pervasive culture of Sexual Abuse and Subservience, now acknowledged by the Majority, is a turning of a Tide, a swing of the Pendulum. The Imbalance of a Patriarchal Society begins to Shift towards Balance and so the Pendulum begins to swing, the Tide begins to turn. Finally, these non-consensual Abuses are brought to Light and the Victims are ed not Maligned. We shall see how Justice is meted out for certain Individuals continue to be Protected. But no Individual is above the law. No Human Being has the right to violate another Human Being – Physically, Emotionally or Spiritually. Know that the Rise of the Divine Feminine is not to create a Matriarchal Society. Rather, it is to reestablish a Balanced Society – a Balanced Relationship Paradigm between Masculine and Feminine. Likewise, the Masculine must also rise to the Divine Masculine – where both the Feminine and Masculine acknowledge and Honor each other as Co-Equal Partners – there to Balance and each other. Neither is Greater or Lesser than the other. Both are needed. We carry both within ourselves. Again, as in all things, Balance is required. It is a Universal Law. The restoration and acknowledgment of the Divine Feminine will reintroduce Mercy, Comion, Wisdom and Unconditional Love into societies and cultures. For far too long the Patriarchal System has led to a predominance of Conditional Love – where Love is used to Control and Manipulate. It is

Mind/Ego, not Heart driven, External, not Internal. Embrace the shattering of a system which crushed other Human Beings. What started as a Sexual Scandal in Hollywood has expanded to sports, politics and other facets of society. Hopefully the exposure and acceptance of the Truth, difficult as it may be, will lead to a Revolution of reconsideration of all religion and cultures which have sacrificed the Feminine for the Power and Selfish Gratification of the Patriarchal, not Divine, Masculine. A Balance between the Mind/Ego and the Heart is needed. Both are needed, in Balance. To do this Men and Women need to stand side by side and and Honor each other, not Manipulate or Control the other. Let’s pick up these shattered pieces and Consciously build a new archetypal pattern for our societies and families – for our Children and generations come - where all are Equal, and all are Unconditionally Loved. The New Paradigm wherein the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine co-exist in Harmony, Balance and Partnership. Let’s raise a glass in Celebration to the Divine Feminine and True Divine Masculine advancing the new Paradigm of Balance, Unconditional Love and as Co-Equals Balancing each other. It is Time. It simply is.

Chapter Eleven Fellowship

In these Modern Times of omnipresent technology, including cell phones and computers, people are no longer Present when Physically in the presence of another Human Being. Observe people when you are out and about. They are staring at a screen. If you are not, you still have one in your face everywhere: when you get gas, in lines, etc. People are constantly checking their phones for texts, emails and voicemails. Most are unimportant or could certainly wait while you are present with another. I personally leave my phone behind or turn it off when I’m with other people. I do not want to be Distracted. Do you realize how our Modern Technology separates us from one another? We have Forgotten the Joy and Nurturing of our Body, Mind and Soul which Fellowship provides. When was the last Time you spent a night or a few hours with Friends, talking, sharing, laughing and crying? For me, these treasured evenings are such a Gift and Blessing. I recently spent such an evening under the starred filled sky at a round table with people I Love so fiercely and who Love me the same; where we spent hours talking, laughing, crying, drinking wine, eating, listening to music and just soaking up the Comradery. That Laughter, Love, Music and Food that so feeds our Bodies, Minds and Souls. And at some point there may be Tears – either Tears of Laughter, Joy, or from the telling of a Sacred Story – one that makes you tear up because it overfills your Heart with Love or Pain – and those gathered – well, they just Listen. And if there are Tears of Pain, they do not say – “Stop, don’t cry” – they become Silent and Listen. And often they will shed a Tear as well because they Honor, and perhaps even feel, your Pain. Then more libation is poured, and the Laughter begins again. Because these people Love Y O U Unconditionally. They Love your flaws and quirks, but most of all they Love your Divine Heart. They don’t care what you look like or what you have or don’t…they only care and see your Heart – as I do. And they will Listen to your stories of Joy, Children, Experiences, Pain and witness your tears, happy or sad, because they know the tears will fall. Water purifies All.

This particular evening had been the end of a small personal adventure of travelling and camping. I revisited places and people I stumbled upon at a Time in my Life was in Chaos. I knew I needed to walk that certain rough Path at that Time alone but that if I just kept putting one foot in front of the other, eventually I would come to a New Road. One step at a Time. One. Just one. Even if it was a crawl up that damn hill. I just kept going. And when I got stuck in the mud, I LITERALLY took off my shoes. I did, and I kept moving. And, with the help of these Friends, yes, I got to the top of that mountain. I did. And when I reached that Pinnacle, I danced and sang and threw up my arms to the Heavens and gave my most HUMBLE THANKS OF GRATITUDE for EVERYTHING I HAD BEEN THROUGH AND FOR EVERYTHING I HAD LOST – because I now know – I can lose everything – every THING and I will still have such ABUNDANCE – and the only thing I need is that Unconditional Love (ok I need good food, coffee, wine and music too). Some were long-time friends and some were Strangers who became Friends. Each of them, in their Unique way, usually with the SMALLEST Acts of Kindness gave me the BIGGEST little things, most of which were Acts or Words, not things. But things I received as well: food, shelter, hugs, laughter, songs, prayers, and wine, to name a few. These people were so generous with their Love and Time when I was experiencing what some call a “Dark Night of the Soul”. Because of these Human Beings and what they gave me, I was given enough Hope and Love to keep moving forward. These are the people who talked to me, not about me. These are the people who did not Judge me but instead showed Mercy, Comion and Kindness. And as I revisited the places and people I stumbled upon during this period – for I typically have no destination in mind any Time I hit the road – I pondered how these people so miraculously came into my Life. Coincidence? I think not. These new people, as I visited them again and we caught up and laughed and ate and drank wine, I spoke to them of the Smallest Things – Acts, Thoughts or Words that they had done or given me. I told them how they sustained me. They did not believe me. The all believed they had done nothing for me. Ironic. And I gave them the tiniest silly Gifts. Because it was my turn to Give, small things which carried great meaning. The Fellowship these Men, Women and Children gave me, their tangible and intangible Gifts showed me with Unconditional Love, for these things I shall always, until the day I die, be Grateful. I have told them all how much their

Unconditional Love sustained me until I could rise up from the ashes of my old Life – surrounded by what appeared to be nothing but barren landscape. But in fact, it was not Barren, Winter was turning into Spring. New Life was Emerging. So, to all those whose Friendship and Love I so treasure, I say thank you. I can never say it enough. But I know you know and we will have many more Times of Fellowship and that we will always be there for each other through good Times and bad, without Judgment. None of has a Perfect Life. We all, at some Time in our Life, face Challenges. You do not get a Choice about the Family you are born into – but you somehow gain a new Family in this Life. And, quite honestly, I don’t know if I chose them or they chose me…but through some great Mystery of timing…we found each other. And I KNOW for the rest of my Life, these people will always, Unconditionally be there for me, as I will be there for them. It may be years between our rendezvouses, but this Bond will never be altered. Ever. So, I will leave you with one of my most favorite sacred stories of Love: A couple I know, now in the Grandparenting stage of their Lives, were involved several years ago in a horrific car accident. When leaving the freeway, a car came barreling down upon them, having erroneously entered the exit ramp. The Husband knew what it meant first – and in a nanosecond, as she most likely opened her mouth to scream he grabbed her hand and gently said: “Je t’aime”. Then BOOM! Let me tell you, this is Love, and this is Death, and this is Life – when that vehicle is barreling towards you, someone grabs your hand and the last words you hear are: I Love You, that my Friends, is as good as it gets. Gentle. Peaceful. Reassuring. True. No scream. No Fear. Just Love. My wish for each of you reading this today is that you be surrounded by those who Love YOU Unconditionally, that you meet a new Friend and you begin to be Grateful for every thing that happens and has happened to you and for every Human Being with whom you cross Paths, even if for a few moments. I am so Blessed with the Unconditional Love that has been given to me in my Life it makes me weep. Long, long, long may we run. May your Life be Blessed by many who Love YOU Unconditionally as you Love them. Of all the Gifts we are given in this Life, this is the most Sacred. It is Eternal as well. It is Divine.

Chapter Twelve Gratitude

It is easy to be Grateful for the “good” things that happen to us in our Life. But what about those Challenges and Crises? Once a Challenge or Crisis es and you look back from your now safe harbor, do you see all the Good Things that came out of that bad Time? Please think about this because if you do, if you have not previously, you will realize there were some valuable Lessons you Learned. There were some amazing things that happened in that challenging Time. When you can genuinely Live your Life in Gratitude for every thing that has ever happened to you, and every Human Being you have met – Good or Bad, that is when your Divine Heart truly opens for, as a Divine Child, you have raised your Awareness which translates into Consciousness, that your main tasks in this Life is to Learn and Grow. Our Greatest Lessons come from what appears to be the Darkest of Times. A Challenging Time is our Greatest Teacher if we allow this to be True. It is my belief that in our Darkest Times we are given our Greatest Blessings. Learn to live in Gratitude. Practice it. It will bring you Peace. Peace is not the absence of War; it is a Graceful State of Mind. Give a prayer of Gratitude in the morning and let it be the last thing you do at night. You will begin see the World and all Human Beings that inhabit it in a New Light: the Light of Divine, Unconditional Love. May you begin to see and experience, every day, all the great and small Blessings and Miracles in your Life. May you become Aware that your smallest acts have a far reaching effect that impacts others. May all your Thoughts, Words and Deeds originate from your Divine Heart. May you be Unconditionally Loved and may you Love Unconditionally.