Discovering The Joys Of Life: The 7 Life-giving Principles For A Meaningful Life 562j42

Discovering the Joys of Life

The 7 Life-Giving Principles for a Meaningful Life

Rev. Fr. Joe Blas Nolasco

Copyright © 2020 by Rev. Fr. Joe Blas Nolasco All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below. Christian Faith Publishing, Inc. 832 Park Avenue Meadville, PA 16335 www.christianfaithpublishing.com Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Creative Project on Random Acts of Love Creative Project on Mirror of Self Creative Project of Mindful Walk Creative Spiritual Exercise Gratitude Jar Creative Project on Building Trust The Story of My life

Recommendations

May 10, 2021

I wish to convey my blessings and congratulations to Fr. Joe Blas Nolasco for writing this book, “Discovering the Joys of Life: The 7 Life-Giving Principles For A Meaningful Life,” that can be a source of inspiration and spiritual nourishment for priests, religious, and lay people. In this book, Fr. Nolasco carefully weaves his pastoral experience as a Catholic hospital chaplain, which is an important ministry of the Church, with his own personal journey as a catholic priest from the Philippines who later migrated to Canada. With his vast exposure to sick people, terminally ill patients, and especially those at the point of death, Fr. Nolasco reflects on the meaning of death, sickness, love, fear, abandonment, frustrations, dreams, family relationships, and selfrealization as a human person. Specifically, the book also provides beautiful reflections on the meaning of death as a human phenomenon and a mystery that we Christians must all embrace with faith and serenity. “To deny our mortality is to live a lie,” says Fr. Antony Kelly. Confronted with the harsh reality of death during this global pandemic, we should be guided by our Christian faith that urges us to accept death as a gift, a fulfillment of our hope in the risen Savior, Jesus Christ, whose self-giving and sacrifice unto death on the cross, made us realize the importance of eternal life. As Jesus Christ said, “Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live,” (Jn. 11:25). Fr. Nolasco precisely delineates such meaning of life in this book by providing pastoral and experiential principles, which he calls “The 7 Life-Giving Principles For A Meaningful Life.” To some extent, these principles are simple and practical, but often forgotten by many of us. Hence, I commend Fr. Nolasco for writing this book and for sharing the fruits of

his pastoral experience to us all. His work will surely aid us in our journey towards spiritual maturity and realization as Christians. Its publication is definitely timely. The book creatively spells out moments of joy even in most difficult situations of our lives.

His Eminence Jose Cardinal F. Advincula, Jr., D.D. Archbishop of Manila, Philippines

The desire to be happy is in the heart of every person. And God wants us also to be happy. St. Paul, in his letter to the Philippians 4:4 said, “Rejoice in the Lord always. I shall say it again, rejoice!”

But how can we rejoice when life is full of difficulties… How can we rejoice when our past traumas continue to haunt us… How can we rejoice when we or our love-ones face life-threatening sickness… How can we rejoice when we are betrayed by people we love… How can when we feel unloved, unwanted, and rejected?

We thank Fr. Joe blas for writing this book—Discovering the Joys of life. He gives us beautiful insights on how to transform the many difficult and painful challenges into moments of grace and personal growth by applying the 7 LifeGiving Principles for a Meaningful Life.

This book is a great help for everyone who looks for joy, peace, and meaning in life.

Rev. Fr. Pericles “Prex” Fajardo /Founder Merciful Missionaries of St. Joseph

Foreword

Preface

A Life of Meaning and Purpose

The only joy in the world is to begin. —Cesare Pavese

Be alert. Be awake. Be alarmed!

This book is an invitation to self-discovery of our journey in life: to think about our life, to reflect on what matters to us, to pay attention to what concerns us, to discover what we have missed, and to teach us how to live with joy and meaning in intentional consciousness and ion. Instead of feeling like you are being stuck in the mud and trapped in your darkness, stress, unhappiness, illness, depression, and the list could continue, I invite you to open your eyes around you; to listen to the voice of God; to feel within you; to experience the sights, the aroma, and the sound of the nature around you. I hope you will discover something new, something different, something life giving and also discover the importance of time:

Time to be alive, not just doing a lifeless routine. Time to be awake, not stagnant in your unconscious behavior.

Time to engage, not confined in the old ways. Time to be active, not imprisoned in your own world. Time to celebrate, not being captive in your negativity. Time to discover, not enslaved of fixed mentality. Time to play, not be trampled in drudgery.

The title of my book is Discovering the Joys of Life: The 7 Life-giving Principles for a Meaningful Life. This book is the product of my discovery and experiences, reflection, and journey in life as a son, a servant, a leader, a priest, a minister, a spiritual director, and, mostly, a frontliner chaplain in a hospital setting where God allowed me to see the pain and suffering of many people in the different context of their lives. I want to invite you to embark on a journey of self-discovery while being guided by the seven life-giving principles. I hope you are intrigued now and want to read on to delve into the seven principles. I think it is a good sign to have a sense of curiosity. I love curiosity. Curiosity is a necessary trait to develop as a person. My curiosity had led me to grow as a person and discover new things. Perhaps, you are curious and wondering what enticed me to write about my discoveries on the joys of life. I have served so many patients and their families. I have seen so many sad deaths. I have journeyed with them through their questions of purpose, meaning, struggles, pain, suffering, and coping. I have accompanied them in their dying moments and also in their healing. Significantly, I realized that, in my life, I have had many failures, many struggles, and have had my own share of many sufferings; but I have seen the blessings, the happiness, the purpose and meaning in all these experiences as part of God’s plan for me.

I am no longer young. I have seven years of hospital chaplaincy experience. I am currently 10 years in the priesthood, 25 years of serving God in so many different ways, and I am deeply thankful for the journey I have shared with many people. I have served the elderly, the abandoned, the lonely, the sick, the dying, the drug and alcohol dependents, and especially the people with mental illnesses. After considerable time, I thought why not write about my formulated life-giving principles based on these experiences? After all, I have discovered and experienced the seven life-giving principles myself. My life has been transformed by these principles. I felt that understanding these principles would give us the needed perspective to navigate our shortcomings and challenges. Most importantly, I have come to learn to live a life of meaning and purpose and with joy and happiness because of these life-giving principles. The “Why not?” question has become “Why not share?” I pray and hope that people who read about my discoveries and experiences will be motivated to search and discover their own life’s purpose and meaning. Writing this book is my way to cooperate with the plan of God, and for the readers of this book, I hope that they find a life of joy through their meaning and purpose and their plan and to understand that inherently there is a higher good that sustains and continually nourishes them. Are you ready? Be prepared. This book is an adventure. My life is an adventure. I believe God has a purpose and plan for putting this book in your hand. Our God is bigger than our plan. I believe that, as you read along, God will by and knock on your door. Will you be there to open for Him? Knock, knock, knock. Pay attention. God speaks to you. My prayer for you is that the God of life and healing will grant you an abundant blessing, and may you discover a life filled with joy, meaning, and purpose with intentional consciousness and ion.

Your grateful servant, Fr. Joe Blas Nolasco, I.v. Dei

Important Note: At the end of every chapter, there are guided questions and creative projects for a point of reflection. It is an invitation that self-reflection or group sharing can enhance further discussion and discovery for yourself or your community.

Disclaimer: All the persons’ names in the stories that I recount are not real names in order to protect privacy. There are no identifying details. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Introduction

Rise Up and Walk to Your Destiny

It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves. —William Shakespeare

The philosophy “ N emo dat quod non habet ” or “No one gives what he does not have” is a thought-provoking reminder of how to live our life. This is one of the fundamental beliefs of daily living, and there are many more to discover as you journey through self-discovery before death. Death? A lot of people are scared when someone talks about or even mentions death. It sends an alarm bell. Oops! Wait a minute. Hold on. Stop there. Take a deep breath! Let’s change the topic! Obviously, death is a source of anxiety. Even people who are dying don’t necessarily like to talk about it. But not me! I always have been curious about people’s journeys with grief and dying because at the age of six years old my grandmother died due to typhoid fever. One day I ed that my mother called my attention and tried her best to explain Grandma’s death, but I couldn’t understand it. My six-year-old mind could not grasp why my grandma died. I exhibited different emotional feelings and acted out those feelings through hyperactivity when I was a child. I missed my grandmother and cried for her death. Other losses that have made me grieve deeply included my best friend, Fr. Noel Ablajon Jr., who died a few years ago of lung cancer at the age of 32. My

beloved spiritual mentor, Sr. Ruth Villanueva, a Dominican nun, died due to health complications. I them in my thoughts, especially on how they have touched my life by their care and example to me and to so many others. Have you experienced the loss of a loved one due to death? Have you experienced sickness, struggles, pain, and suffering?

Suffering Is a Great Teacher

Here is my realization: each of us has different experiences of pain and suffering, how we see suffering, and how we understand its complexities. Our suffering is a great teacher. It taught me that we can’t handle pain by fixing it solely through our willpower or our denial. Instead, suffering enables us to see ourselves in a profound and transformative way. Do you know that spirituality is about what we do with our struggles, pain, and suffering? During moments of suffering, conflict, or distress, what do you do? Do you blame others, or do you try to fix pain and suffering? , we live only once, and no one is immune to pain. Suffering is our great teacher, even if some people may deny or ignore this truth. We experience pain and suffering. If we do not transform our pain and suffering to a lesson learned, we may flounder in it and may transfer it in some other nonproductive form (i.e., guilt, anxiety, etc.).

How Can We This Test of Life?

I believe that in life, there are different forms of tests. Sometimes we fail those tests. We make wrong choices or decisions. We sin and even do the same sin over and over again. But falling, flopping, and failing are not the end of our life. It is only the beginning.

I failed many times in my life. I have made wrong decisions, and it is easy to be overly critical and judgmental about myself. But I realized that life is not a failure because our God is a God of second chances. He allowed me to experience the failures and tragedies of life because He has a bigger purpose. God says, “Stop condemning yourself, stop comparing yourself, and stop judging yourself. See the blessings behind the problem, see the graces behind the fall, and see the purpose behind all this pain and suffering.”

the Story of Invalid in the Pool of Bethesda

One day, there was a magic pool of water called Bethesda in the city of Jerusalem. It was believed to be a healing pool with porches built around it. Many sick people like the blind, the lame, and the paralyzed visited the pool and waited for the water to bubble up. People believed that if they touched the sparkling water before it stopped sparkling, then they would be made well. It so happened that Jesus ed by the pool and learned of a man who was an invalid for 38 years. Jesus asked the man, “Do you want to get well?” The man told Jesus, “Sir, there was no one to carry me to the bubbly water. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.” Then Jesus said to him, “Rise up! Pick up your mat and walk.” At once the man was cured. He picked up his mat and walked (John 5:1–9). I invite you to think that this man had been stuck for 38 years sitting on his mat. I could imagine the litany of his complaints and misery. His life was dormant. He was suffering. He was not able to transform his pain and suffering because he was convinced that life would only change outside of him by way of the magic pool. In short, this invalid man decided to sit on his mat, watching and waiting for the water to bubble up. “As soon as” the water would bubble up and only when that happens would he start to pick up his mat and walk. Here is my question for you: have you heard yourself saying that as soon as this or that happens in my life, then my life finally will improve and only then can I feel happy?

As soon as your problem is fixed, you will be well. As soon as you grow up, your life will improve. As soon as you graduate, you will get a better job. As soon as you leave work, you will be happier. As soon as you would have more money, a vacation can be entertained. As soon as you get over this grief, you won’t feel sad. “As soon as…” could fill anything in this life. We are deceived if we believe that life can only be discovered outside of ourselves, just like the invalid man in the gospel who was imprisoned by the situation of his life. Do you feel confined in a particular life situation? Are you alive today but dead inside? My dear friend, listen to the message of Jesus for you: “Rise up, pick up your mat, and walk” (John 5:8). Notice something! Jesus did not take the man into the water. He dialogued with him in his situation and spoke words of healing. The man picked up his mat. He did not leave his mat behind. The symbolic mat meant that his circumstances are real. The big difference is, the man carrying his mat versus the mat carrying him. It means that the invalid has learned to accept his situation. His acceptance is manifested through his willingness to cooperate with the grace of the invitation, dialogue, and healing of Jesus. In effect, he went home with fervor and was transformed into a new way of thinking, a new way of being, and a new way of living.

Here is the invitation. I believe that God doesn’t change our situation. He invites us into a new way of being. He challenges us into a new way of seeing. He encourages us into a new way of thinking. He incites us into a new way of feeling.

He summons us into a new way of speaking. He calls us into a new way of acting.

When we rise up and walk to our destiny of new life, we discover that our situation, our context, and our experience have somehow changed. This does not mean we no longer experience suffering and pain. It means that we have learned to accept our suffering and pain as a profound way of engaging life from a different place, position, and perspective. That is why we are called by Jesus to rise up, pick up our mat, and walk to our destiny.

God’s Plan Is Bigger than Our Plan

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. —C. S. Lewis

Have you ever wondered what is God’s plan for you? What’s your purpose in life? Let me share with you my story of discovery of God’s plan for my life. On February 20, 2012, I came to Canada with my parents. At that time, I was enrolled at Southeast Asia Interdisciplinary Development Institute (SAIDI) and Institute Spirituality of Asia (ISA), Philippines, for a PhD in Transformative Spirituality. I was in a dilemma about my moving to Canada with my parents because I was already a pastor at a small parish in San Carlos, Negros Occidental, Philippines. I felt I was stuck in some ways, just like the invalid man with his mat. I was struggling whether I should stay or go. I realized that I had to go through a discernment process. Even though I felt uncertain and fearful of change, I was open to new possibilities. I decided to embrace what I felt was God’s grace in this situation. I learned to accept the new possibilities in a new way of seeing, feeling, and being. After a few months in Canada, I was appointed as a priest-chaplain in the health-care setting in the Ontario area. I thought, Me, a chaplain? I did not ask for this new role in the ministry, but God made a plan without me. I realized that He was planting seeds in my life. The hospital chaplaincy, however, brought new meaning and direction to my priestly ministry and a new perspective in life. Fortunately, I had Clinical Pastoral Education (E) training when I was in a seminarian at St. Mary’s Seminary in Houston, Texas. I had the privilege to work at MD Anderson Medical Center, where I had gained hands-on experience of ministering to cancer patients. I recalled having a positive experience in the hospital ministry. I thought then that this would be an awakening experience because I would be

dealing with death, dying, and human suffering. As I worked in the hospital, I enjoyed my ministry, working with enthusiasm and energy. I am an observant, optimistic, and people-oriented person; and I enjoy this type of comionate work. While I was working in the hospital, I thought, Why not make a research proposal based on my experience as a hospital chaplain? This could be exciting. But I found myself struggling in my academic studies and asking, how can I finish my thesis? This struggle led me to seek the of my bishop, the Most Reverend Gerardo Alminaza, D. D., who gave me encouragement and zeal to keep going. His led me to work as a chaplain in various health-care settings in Canada. Here is my point. God’s plan is bigger than our plan. The Bible says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:5–6). Learn to trust God for His plan for you. God led me to the hospital ministry, and I am thankful. But I struggled with my chosen research project. I was suffering. I was failing. However, I discovered something else. While I was researching healing interventions for patients and effective interventions for hospital chaplaincy, I discovered the voice of God through the people I served.

What I Discovered through My Ministry?

, I was already curious due to my own personal experience of grief as a result of the deaths of my loved ones. I realized something profound with the patients and their families when I randomly asked the following questions in my encounters with them: What lessons have you learned during your lifetime? What do you value in your life? What are your coping mechanisms when confronted with the reality of death? How are you dealing with feelings of meaninglessness or hopelessness? What are your personal discoveries? What gives joy to your life? And what gives purpose and meaning to your life? There was an enduring theme that echoes, that resonates, that highlights, that

comes out when they are confronted with these questions. You have to understand that as a chaplain in a hospital setting, I engage patients in a conversation to assess patients’ current spiritual distress and to identify their capacity to deal with their current concerns such as helplessness, meaninglessness, dying, and grief. I explore actively and reflectively. I creatively ask different questions to help them identify and name their coping mechanisms as a way to find spiritual healing. My role is to accompany them in their distress, their problems, their doubts, their struggles, and their sufferings as they discover themselves and find comfort and healing in sharing their story. Oh my! I was astounded by what I have discovered and heard from the patients and their respective responses. Interestingly, when I give recollections, retreats, and inspirational talks to the congregations, I ask the same questions that I ask in my hospital ministry. Here is my suggestion. I hope you realize that every person is different and unique. Their ways of coping and their skills are different, but they have many similarities that we can all learn from. I strongly suggest you discover what is your own way of coping, your strengths and weaknesses. Yes, I have plans. I recognize that God’s plans and his mysterious ways are hard to understand, but I realize that I need to learn to trust more, especially when I do not understand. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jer. 29:11).

Have You Experienced Set Back? Have You Experienced Set Back? Keep Moving Forward; God Will Give You the Strength

Be strong and courageous; do not be frightened or dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. —Joshua 1:9

Every time I experienced a setback or a stumbling block, it makes me stop. It invites me to discern, and it challenges me to seek God’s bigger purpose. Here is a key learning: It is in discernment that one can truly have a sense of clarity and direction of God’s invitation, purpose, and meaning unfold. Sometime in 2019, I was going through a difficult time in my life. Just like the invalid man, I was stuck in my darkness. I was struggling. I doubted myself if I would be able to write my experiences, realizations, and discoveries. It was a clear message to stop, discern, and seek. However, I found myself recognizing that God allowed me to experience a setback because His hidden purpose awaited me in the end. My discernment gave me a clear message: “Keep moving forward amidst the difficulties. God would guide me through.” I listened to the voice telling me to continue moving forward. I continued to rise. I picked up my mat and kept walking. One day, I encountered a dying cancer patient. He inspired me when he shared with me his life story of pain and suffering. He had a wish: “I’m dying. I wish I had left something for my children that they could hold on to. I don’t mean finances, but something I could share, something that will serve as a lesson in life for them.” That statement was a strike of lightning from above. I would never forget that moment. I have listened to many stories; I have my flaws, weakness, and failures; and I have learned many lessons life. I felt God was telling me, in listening to this dying man, that I should start this book at some point. And I did

by the grace of God. This is one of the fruits of my hospital ministry experience, my self-discovery in my priestly ministry within myself as a human being. In the words of Proverbs 16:4, “The Lord works everything together to accomplish His purpose.” As a hospital chaplain for many years in a health-care setting, it was such an honor to serve the people in Toronto, a multicultural city of 2.9 million people, a home of 200 distinct ethnic origins. I have met all kinds of people from different countries. I met people from all walks of life. I estimated that in the seven years of hospital ministry, I worked over 12,000 hours, including on-call shifts. I spoke with patients about their lives; their hospitalization; their distress, concern, issues, challenges, purpose, and meaning and made clinical assessments of their coping skills as part of the health-care plan. I spent 30 to 40 minutes with them, depending on the patient. I also estimated that I observed and served over 15,500 people in varying age groups in the past seven years. These encounters and hearing the life experiences of actual patients over the past seven years formed the foundations of my discovery to formulate the joys of life. I wrote in my journal these patients’ stories and testimonies. Many of them have said to me, “I want you to share my life story and my discovery before I die.” I will never forget a particular 85-year-old man of European descent. He was gregarious and exciting. He told me, “I have lived my life to the full with no regrets, and I will embrace my death with peace.” All these stories and experiences of my encounter with these patients are God’s encouragement for me to continue the excellent work. The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you” (Ps. 32:8). Every time you suffer a setback, every time you face a problem, and every time you experience a challenge, keep moving forward. Rise up, pick up your mat, and walk to your destiny. God will give you the strength, encouragement, and graces you need in your life.

Why 7 Life-Giving Principles for a Meaningful Life?

Live as if you were to die tomorrow; learn as if you were to live forever. —Mahatma Gandhi

I would never forget when I was asked to celebrate the sacrament of the sick for a dying man seven years ago. He was only in his 40s. He was a successful businessman. He had three young children. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I was shocked by the experience because this dying man was begging and saying, “Father, I don’t want to die now. I am scared. Can God spare my life for me to see my children finish school?” I listened to him with comion. “I have so many regrets in my life because I thought that the best way was to take care of my family was to earn more money to give the best life for them. But I was wrong. Father, please, I beg…please pray to God that I can have healing?” I prayed over him and celebrated the anointing of the sick. The encounter had an impact on my life and has stayed with me ever since. As I left, I thought I didn’t want to live my life with regrets, just like this dying man. It actually made me pause and reflect on my life’s purpose. It challenged me to seek God in the mundane things. It motivated me to serve God in the best way I can. And it inspired me to live my life with joy and meaning. My dear friend, live your life with joy and no regrets and learn the seven lifegiving principles for a meaningful life. Perhaps, you might wonder, Why seven? The seven life-giving principles emerged from the major enduring themes gathered from my collection of stories and from the principles I have learned throughout my life journey and from my

encounters with many people. I considered seven as part of God’s intervention. The number 7 is the perfect number, affirmed and validated as an eternal lifegiving principle and is based on biblical and symbolic significance. In the story of creation, we know that God spent six days creating the heavens and the earth and then He rested on the 7th day (Gen. 1). That day is the Sabbath, and God designed it to be a holy day of rest. This has been the example of a seven-day week observed around the world. Growing up, the number 7 appeared to be a number that stood out in my own life. My connection with number 7 is completeness. No wonder the number 7 is identified with something being “finished” as it implies to me a complete divine perfection. The biblical references of seven also include animal sacrifice, an offering to God. “Do the same with your cattle and your sheep. Let them stay with their mothers for seven days…” (Exod. 22:30). We also have the story of the commander Naaman, who contracted leprosy and was instructed by prophet Elisha, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored, and you shall be clean.” In these two stories of sacrifice and healing, the number 7 has been used as a divine mandate. We learned many associations of the number 7 as God’s instruction and interventions. “You shall make seven lamps for it. And the lamps shall be set up to give light on the space in front of it” (Exod. 25:37). This has reference to seven stems on the tabernacle’s lampstand. We also have seven signs from the gospel of John. We have seven parables from the of Matthew. We have Peter asked Jesus, “How many times do I have to forgive?” Jesus replied, “Seventy times seven” times (Matt. 18:22). These associations on the seven lamps, seven signs of miracle, or seven signs of parables highlight the importance of seven in of purpose and meaning. This is also affirmed by the sevenfold of “I Am” by Jesus.

The Sevenfold of “I Am” by Jesus

I found the sevenfold of “I Am” by Jesus in the gospel of John so comforting and liberating in our faith because it is redeeming, affirming, and validating, especially in moments of struggles and crisis. In different ways, we could be just like the invalid man who could be stuck in our darkness, stress, distress, unhappiness, and illness. We are looking for the healing words of Jesus speaking to us, “Do not be afraid, have faith…my beloved” (Luke 8:50).

“I Amthe Vine, and you are the branches.” He who abides in Me, and I in Him, bears much fruit; for without Me, you can do nothing” (John 15:5) We are invited to live His love and share His love. “I Amthe Light” (John 8:12). We are invited to live in the awareness of the light and share His light with others. “IAmthe Resurrection and the Life” (John 11:25). We are invited to experience the Risen Lord through different circumstances by living at the grace of the present moment. “I Amthe Bread” (John 6:35). We are invited not to rely on bread alone but to live through the words of God in prayer. “I Amthe Way, the Truth, and the Life” (John 14:6). We are invited to live in gratitude for His way, His truth, and His life is eternal bliss. “I Amthe Door” (John 10:9). We are invited to live thewonderof God’s creation through the adventure as He leads, guides, and gives Himself to care for us. We follow Him with courage and taking our risks in life. “I Amthe Good Shepherd” (John 10:11). We are invited to live in total surrender and dependency like children listening to the voice of the Good Shepherd, who leads us to experience peace and serenity with no fear of death through the grace of God’s love.

Truly, Jesus is the Vine, our source of life today and for life everlasting. I found each phrase to connect to the seven life-giving principles that give us the unlimited fire of the Holy Spirit. Here are the seven life-giving principles:

Principle 1: Being Love Principle 2: Being Self-Aware Principle 3: Being Present in the Moment Principle 4: Being Prayerful Principle 5: Being Grateful Principle 6: Being Adventurous Principle 7: Being Childlike

In my world of wonder, the seven life-giving principles found biblical connections to God’s invitation to live a life of meaning and purpose. I cannot emphasize enough how many hundreds of people I heard saying, “It is never too late to start a life of meaning and purpose now.” We can look back and listen to the thousands of famous people in the world who had lived life holding fast to the message: “Live your life without regrets.” As we live with purpose and meaning, we no longer fear death. Our final breath will no longer have power over us. Death becomes a change of different reality, something we embrace in this life, something we will no longer approach with fear but love. Something we will approach using the seven life-giving principles because life is being lived with joy and meaning. My dear friend, “Rise up, pick up your mat, walk to your destiny.” Your suffering is a great teacher. Learn to trust that God has a bigger plan than our plan. Along your journey in life, you will discover something that will reveal itself to you. You will experience setbacks in life, but keep moving forward. God will give you the strength you need. The sevenfold of “I Am” by Jesus gives us

assurances and comfort. The seven life-giving principles are invitations to us to find joy and meaning in life.

, this is a once-in-a-lifetime journey and your choices matter.

Life-Giving Principle 1: Being Love

Live a Life of Love

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. —St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Love is commonly understood as a virtue representing all human kindness, comion, and affection. Love is a universal good that expresses a comionate, caring concern for the good of another. Love is the essence of living life because we humans have the need for love. We seek love, we desire to love, and we don’t only receive love, but more so, we are invited to spread love. Perhaps you might be asking the question, what does it mean to live a life of love in your experience? This question is an invitation to look at your understanding of what love is for you. I invite you to recall your experience of love. Maybe we can all look back to our childhood and discover what does it mean to feel love, how do we understand love, and what is our experience about love, and how can we live a life of love? I believe that all of us have our own understanding of love and what it means to us. I have learned being love through my personal experience of trying to understand what love is. During my childhood, I was very mischievous. I loved playing games, where I developed my physical skills. My playmates were impoverished street children in our neighborhood. They were simple and humble. I learned to get along with them. In fact, they taught me to be simple and generous. I used to share with them my food, toys, and whatever I had. At an early age, I loved and enjoyed the company of people, especially the elder

ones, and got used to them. We shared our personal stories and experiences. I was a seeker of wisdom, and somehow, my interactions with the elder ones have imbibed in me the concepts necessary for daily living. In retrospect, my parents’ way of loving allowed me to learn the complexities of life because they set me free. They were not typical overprotective parents. That is why my childhood experiences were mostly in the streets. My older brother was seven years older than me, so he couldn’t be my playmate. I searched for playmates and learned to interact with different people in the streets. I am grateful for the love of my parents because they allowed me to interact with people and let me go. At an early age, I received love through my family and my playmates. They nurtured me and encouraged my interactions with my playmates. This taught me to be comionate and understanding of the hard-up situations of my playmates. My principle, which still holds firm, is to treat people with fairness, comion, love, and generosity. Here is my realization: living a life of love is learning to experience comion for others. It involves a way of seeing yourself with the other and able to suffer with the other. To live love is to be rooted in our human experience of witnessing love and the ability to learn it and adopt behavior that will serve as a guiding principle in our daily living. I had listened to a number of patients’ stories who had expressed their regrets about not loving more. They wished that they could have loved more through concrete expressions of love. I heard statements such as “I regret that I did not spend time with my children more when they were young,” “I’d wish that I have expressed my love for my wife more,” “I am an opinionated person that I forgot to love in simple things.” They realized that love, in the end, matters most. This is the wisdom of elders, that loving is a key to living a life of purpose and meaning. I would never forget a patient, Peter, who was in his 80s and had a neurological disease. He owned a big company. Initially, Peter was so flat, depressed, and melancholic. However, when I started exploring his life’s experience prior to his illness, Peter became engaging and vibrant. He was filled with joy when he talked about his love for his family and the people in his company. I thought Peter was a wise man when he told me, “I don’t question, ‘Why me, Lord?’ instead, I asked, ‘How can I love and serve despite my illness?’” In retrospect, I

thought Peter has gone through much in his life and had experienced a transformation that he was able to express himself profoundly and deeply. This is an invitation for us to discover living a life of love. St. Therese of Lisieux exemplified this life of love in action: “Miss no single opportunity of making some small sacrifice, here by a smiling look, thereby a kindly word; always doing the smallest right and doing it all for love.” We can all live a life of love through our small concrete gestures of charity and comion. It is in being the first one to love that we can spread the love wherever we go and make people happier because we love.

Love Is a Decision

Love is a decision, it is a judgment, it is a promise… —Erich Fromm

At the age of 13, I began to weigh things with prudence when making judgments without the help of my parents. I became independent. I chose my high school academy and enrolled myself. This was also the time when I had my first crush. Oh my! I ed that I went to school making sure that I was groomed, wearing slacks (not jeans) and a long-sleeve shirt. I was formal and made sure that I looked good. Oh, one more thing that was important for me. I was particular with my hair. I made sure my hair was stylish enough to be noticed by pretty girls in schools as a teenager. At this point, I realized that I needed to be open and courageous in the midst of life’s challenges. Part of this was approaching my ideal crush in my sincere attempts to date. What! Did you write dating? Oh, wow! Seriously? Yes, seriously. I’d like to believe that I was the sought-after teenager during my time. Oops! Ouch! Are you dreaming? Yes. I have wild imagination and fantasy. Kidding aside, I guess this was exciting, being a teenager. I had affection. After all, I am a human person. I’d like to believe that my love, at first sight, was beautiful, according to St. Thomas’s objective standards: beauty must have proportionality, harmony, and balance. Teenage love? Was that real? I ed, as a teen, that it felt like real love.

But later on, you kind of realize that the feeling was infatuation. It was more about the emotions that come and go. It was fleeting. It faded like a newspaper headline. Suddenly, I woke up and it disappeared. I am sharing this experience of how I perceived teenage love as part of my journey in understanding love as a decision when I decided to embrace my priestly vocation. Love as a decision became clear, not on the emotional level but with the will to love. In other words, there is a decision to make. There is a French proverb that really stuck with me: “To love is to live, to love is to see; to love is to be.” This suggests that to love is to experience the process of living, understanding, and being. It involves your energy, time, and sacrifice. Perhaps, it can start from having a feeling but gradually work on the process of celebrating love as a decision to make. Here is a key learning: the wisdom of ancient spiritual mentors expressed that love is a sacrifice. It is work, it is an action, and it is a choice.

Love Conquers Fear

If you want to be the best, you have to do things that others aren’t willing to do. —Michael Phelps

I would like to believe that my life was filled with excitement. I did not only experience this puppy love, but I have learned to love what I was afraid of. I was willing to do the things that others were not willing to do. How come? At 13, I was competing as a swimmer representing Filamer High School at the provincial level for the province of Capiz, Philippines. Wait a minute! Do you know how many medals Michael Phelps had in the 2004 Summer Olympics? He smashed three Olympic records and two world records, winning six gold and two bronze medals. For the record, he is considered the greatest decorated Olympian in current history with 28 medals. He was born on June 30, 1985. And I was born on February 20, 1980. Do you want to know my record? Okay, relax, I will tell you. I had eight golds and one bronze medal. Now you know why I make comparisons with Michael Phelps and myself. (Thah! Heck no! I am nowhere near at all.) Kidding aside, do you know why I won a swimming competition? Because there were only three swimmers competing at that time. Here is the other piece of the story. Since I was the most decorated swimmer in the province of Capiz in 1993, we had competition at a regional level. At this

level, we would be competing in different provinces like Negros Occidental, Iloilo, Antique, and Aklan. Just imagine, the best swimmers of each province from Bacolod City and Iloilo City, whose competitors were advanced. So here I was, 13 years old, very skinny, dark, apparently malnourished kid. When I looked at the other competitors, I thought I was the youngest. But no! The other kids were much younger, 10, 11, 12, and they were competing in my category? I watched them, and they appeared to look like foreigners, mestizos with white complexions. Others looked Chinese, confident and obviously from affluent families. Huh! Hello! I thought. I didn’t want to be intimidated by their looks, their behavior, or appearance. Guess the next thing that happened? The other kids were wearing their shining, stylish, sleek, fancy swimming attires. I was like…what! My jaw dropped! I don’t know if you happen to see competitive swimmers with their classy and outstanding outfits. This was the level of other kids back then. I thought that I didn’t want to be bullied by this experience. I also put on my stylish, sleek, favorite blue-color Speedo swimming trunks and Speedo goggle (Aha!). Speedo was the best swimming outfit back then. You see, I could match their level. But there was a catch. My sleek blue Speedo swimming trunk…had a hole almost on my butt. Could you imagine me at that time? I was hiding it carefully that the other kids wouldn’t see it. Otherwise, they

would laugh. (Oops! I guess this was an unforgettable embarrassment.) During the swimming competitions, before the event, I became mindful because it seemed like the crowd and my fellow competitors were laughing, and laughing like crazy. I was embarrassed and humiliated, and at the start of the race, I was late to jump. Guess what? I finished last among swimmers. I was last in all my events. Yes, I was a failure, discouraged, embarrassed, humiliated, but never defeated. In fact, I thought I was victorious. Why? Let’s go back to my swimming career history…aha! Growing up, I experienced drowning at the sea and river four times. I didn’t know how to swim because nobody taught me how to swim. In those four times, my brother, friend, and a stranger saved me. Thank You, Lord, for sending those angels. Otherwise, I won’t be here. Could you imagine the trauma? Yes, I was traumatized. I thought I was a total failure since all my siblings and cousins knew how to swim. I did not give up. I did not allow trauma and fear of water to overwhelm me. At the age of 11, I learned to swim through the help of my street friends. Here is my point: I have learned to love what I was afraid of. Fear is a feeling produced or caused by perceived danger. Fear can lead us to hide, to run away, or to freeze in our situation. There could be many factors, such as trauma and negative experiences, that cause us to feel fear. Have you noticed yourself when you experience fear? What are your natural reactions? You tend to be defensive. I observed myself to be negative, and I create frightening situations that are not happening. I tend to justify my actions, and I avoid the situation. Let me tell you a story.

The Story of King’s Punishment

Once upon a time, there was a story about a king and how he punished the criminals in his kingdom. A man was found guilty of a crime. Hurriedly, the guards dragged and presented him to the king for punishment. The good king offered a choice of two punishments. The first one was a transparent iron gate where he could be eaten by wild animals. The other was a closed, creepy, terrifying, and unknown mysterious door. Right away, the fearful man chose the iron gate. (He thought that he could still tame the wild animals.) Immediately, the guards held the man toward the iron gate with the wild animals. But he shouted, “My King, please answer me, what is behind the mysterious creepy closed door?” The king laughed and responded, “It is interesting that I offer everyone the same choice, but people mostly choose the iron gate.” Now the man was being dragged closer to the iron gate. Then for the last time, he begged, “My King, please tell me what’s behind the mysterious creepy closed door?” The king stopped and revealed, “Freedom, but most people are afraid of the unknown and mystery that they choose the iron gate.” Many people are used to their own security, their own familiar pain, their own familiar story of fear, which leads them to be stuck in their lives. They are afraid of the unknown. Yes, fear tells us that there is danger. Fear tells us not to live life, not to try, and no to do anything. Just be stuck, be frozen, and go away. The other way is this: Can you have faith, can you learn to trust, and can you see the other option?

When Joseph found out that Mary was pregnant, he was afraid. He had questions and doubts. That’s why the angel came and told him, “Do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit” (Matt. 1:20). Joseph recognized fear. But he decided to face his fear with his faith and love so that he can live in freedom with Mary and Jesus. We won’t allow fear to overwhelm us by getting rid of this fear or by panicking. Instead, we can face our fear by recognizing that there is fear but also believe with faith that God is with us. God’s love is stronger than my fear. My God is bigger than my fear. I have learned to choose love rather than fear of failure. I have also failed many times. I lost in competitions many times, but it did not stop me from choosing to love. I faced my fear with my faith, and I chose love. Here is my message: love conquers fear. Choose love and reject fear. In the same way as light removes darkness, love dispels fear. By doing so, we can be free and become love.

Have You Experienced God’s Love?

It is an incredible mystery of God’s love that the more you know how deeply you are loved, the more you will see how deeply your sisters and your brothers in the human family are loved. —Henri Nouwen

At a young age, I often heard while growing up that God loves me because God created me in His image and likeness. His love is unconditional. But I did not understand, and I thought this statement was a bunch of words for religious people. At that time, my concept of God was as a judge, punisher, and disciplinarian. I felt that God was fixated on my sins. He will punish me for my sins if I don’t behave. Every time I got sick or got into an accident or if something terrible happened, I saw it as part of God’s way of punishing me. In my little world, God was a kind of benevolent tyrant who wanted my attention and allegiance. So I projected my self-disdain onto God. He was a distant God. However, I also thought that if I am doing well, obeying, behaving, God would give me much reward. If I give Him my love, He will be kind to me. It was a real struggle to understand who God was in my life. I felt disconnected from God. I was concerned about my love for sports such as swimming, basketball, table tennis, and lawn tennis. In a way, I found my joy and developed my self-esteem away from peer pressure. Yet deep within me, there was something that I kept on searching for, a sense of fulfillment in life, something that could make me whole. I was struggling to seek meaning in life until in my senior high school year, something unusual happened. I attended the Holy Mass with a new sense of awareness because a friend told me that it was fulfilling.

Growing up in a devout Catholic family household, I attended Sunday Eucharistic service with my family as an obligation. At the back of the mind, God is going to punish me if I don’t go to Sunday service. However, I was curious regarding my friend’s advice to be present in the Holy Mass. I was 16 years old. I could not explain how I felt, but the thing was, I felt the presence of God so alive and overwhelming in the Holy Mass. But I did not understand it thoroughly then, but I thought it was just a good feeling. I felt at peace, and I started going to Holy Mass every morning, which became my devotion and my new love. Indeed, I can say that God has worked in wondrous and even mysterious ways. Remarkably, every time I attended Mass, I would stay at the farthest back of the church, but slowly I sat closer and closer. To my friends who knew me, I don’t like to sit in front. Surprisingly, every day I would sit at the front row pew. Rev. Fr. Joedol (a former assistant parish priest in the Cathedral of Immaculate Concepcion) noticed me and invited me to be an altar server. I did not realize that each day God was transforming me into a new person and that God was leading me into a new life. God made me realize His unconditional love for me by allowing me to experience His grace and mercy in my life. My image of God was changed as a God of love. One particular example was the understanding that God was not after me for my sins, but was concerned about how I see myself as a child of God. I am one who is accepted and loved, with all my flaws, my weaknesses, growing, learning, and struggling. Yes! I felt that I was loved and accepted. I am a real person, and I am a child of God, a mirror of God’s love. I found my happiness in God. I found my peace in God. My goal and mission in life changed. My dream was changed. It was no longer worldly but was for a bigger purpose. Since then I have never doubted God’s love for me. This is an invitation for you. The principle of being love comes from discovering the hand of God in our lives, in the concrete human experience of His love. It might be that moment when God has saved you from an accident, it might be a moment of God’s miracle healing in your life, and it might be an ordinary moment of blessing. That is why the Bible says, “We love because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19).

God is waiting for us, and if you feel like you have failed or you don’t deserve Him, He is waiting for you even more with His unconditional love because He loved us first.

God’s Love Is the Foundation of Love

When you know how much God is in love you, then you can only live your life radiating that love. —Mother Teresa of Calcutta

God’s love for me is the foundation of love after I experienced that God is in love with me. From then on I have tried to live my life spreading that love. I believe that I am a spiritual being; and I hold on to the belief that God is infinite, all-knowing, sovereign, and all good. God is the basis of all reality. He revealed Himself in the Holy Scriptures, in different shapes and forms, and I believe God manifested His everlasting and unconditional love through Jesus Christ’s ion, death, and resurrection. My invitation for you is to view the world in God’s love as the foundation of love and that we are called to experience this love in all things and to discover His love in all things despite our sufferings, trials, and struggles. I recognize that people might not have the same faith and the same experience of God’s love; however, this should not keep you and me from believing that people are good. I believe in the goodness of people. People, in general, are good, comionate, and kind. This thought had been echoed so much by my patients and the people I have met. They expressed that each one of us wants to be respected, loved, and be treated with dignity. People, myself included, will want to live in a just world and want to live peacefully, joyfully, and meaningfully. However, this is not always the case. Because from my patients’ extensive experience, my own significant experiences, and people’s views with the world, they show us that some people are not kind or thoughtful toward others. Instead, they take advantage of or hurt others physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The world is oftentimes more competitive than it is collaborative. Despite all this, when things are at their

worst, like in crisis or in disaster, most people will come together and each other in those times. This allows us to continue to have hope and trust in the goodness of others, as well as the faith that God has created us to be good. We are all good people as we are born in the image and likeness of God; and we are meant to learn, to discover, and to grow into the likeness of God. Our nature is designed by God’s spirit, wrapped with His everlasting, unconditional love, giving us freedom and creativity to experience. His love is all things every day of our existence. God’s love is the foundation of love. Here is my message for you: I believe that to achieve the purpose of living a meaningful life is to experience the concreteness of God’s love. God has given us precious life, and our purpose is to grow in being love. From the wisdom of a spiritual mystic Thomas Merton: “We do not become fully human until we give ourselves to another in love. Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone—we find it with another. We do not discover the secret of our lives merely by study and calculation in our own safe and isolated meditations. The meaning of life has to be revealed to us in love, by the one we love.”

Learning to Love Ourselves

Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. —Louise Hay

To share God’s love is to have it within us. We must first learn to love ourselves. This is an essential step in loving. Our beliefs, our understanding, and our experience of being love will make us more comionate to others. I am sure all of us, at one point in our lives, have had an experience where we find this connection between divine presence and ourselves. I truly believe each of us has a story to tell. Each of us has to look back into our lives and realize there is love, there is this turning point, and there is this connection. Therefore, we must believe that we have the power to choose to love or to choose to be lukewarm. I my professor used to tell us that within ourselves, there are two wolves: the wolf of good and wolf of evil. The question we have to ask ourselves often is, what is the side that we are feeding? Is it our pride? Is it our envy? Greed? Negativity? Or we are feeding serenity, peace, contentment, comion, and love? One day I met a patient, Maryann, a former nurse in her 50s. She asked a pointblank question when I entered her room: “What was the plan now?” She appeared frustrated and almost angry in her tone. I was taken aback because it was my first time meeting her. Politely, I formally introduced myself as a chaplain. (Oops! I am not a doctor.) Maryann’s angry tone changed into somehow an embarrassment. She was apologetic. “Oh! I assumed you were a doctor. I am sorry. I am not feeling well.”

Mind you, I was always mistaken to be a doctor. At times, I made a joke and would say, “Yes, I am a doctor…of the soul.” That time I responded with calmness that I came to visit and to provide spiritual and religious care . “You asked about the plan for you, is there something that happened?” I asked. Suddenly, Maryann became emotional. There was sadness on her face. She shared that she was diagnosed with liver failure. Her doctor’s prognosis was hopeless. She was informed of a palliative care plan. Being palliative means a serious illness. For some people, it is like death sentence or prepare yourself for the coming death. Obviously, Maryann was suffering. I continued listening and created a safe space to express her thoughts and feelings. She recalled her past experience of a failed relationship that led her to depression and alcohol problems. She cried and expressed herself, blaming herself for her failures. Maryann asked me, “Do you think God will forgive me?” With comion, I said, “God is filled with mercy, and His forgiveness is unlimited, but what makes you think that God won’t forgive you?” Maryann said, “Well, I have done terrible things in my life.” I responded, “Do you think it is God who couldn’t forgive you? Or you can’t forgive yourself?” She paused for a moment. It took a while before she told me, “I think there is a reason God had allowed me to meet you. I don’t know how to answer your question, but maybe I would figure it out with your help.” We ended the visit with a prayer for Maryann’s healing and forgiveness. I asked God to give her direction and guidance in her struggle and suffering. A week after I received a phone call in my office. It was Maryann on the line. She said, “I am now in palliative hospice care. I had been thinking of what you said.” At the back of my mind, I thought I did not even recall everything that I expressed to her, but I hope it was a consolation and comfort. Lo and behold! Three months after Maryann was brought to hospice care, she came to see me. Honestly, I could not believe it when I saw her, because, in my

logical mind, it was exceptionally unbelievable that she was alive. I was curious about what happened. Mary Ann shared that in hospice care, she was extraordinarily cared for and loved by the staff. She had healthy food and her body miraculously responded differently. In short, she received healing physically and spiritually. She told me, “That day you came to visit, it dawned on me that I judged myself so bad and even condemned myself for my mistakes. I realized that I had to forgive myself, and I did. I started learning self-care and loving again.” My encounter with her and her words were thoughts to cherish. It was extraordinarily engraved in my memory, that of a person who had seen pain and suffering but understood what it meant to experience the cross and then ended in resurrection and life. Louise Hay explained it in this light: “Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.” I believe that this is true in our lives. When we learn to forgive ourselves from our failures, it will bring healing. When we learn to love ourselves, we feed peace, serenity, comion, and self-care of our being.

Make People a Priority

We become what we love and who we love shapes what we become. —St. Claire of Assisi

The first choice of “being love” is to make people our priority. The question is, how do people know that they are the priority? We know it if people will stop and find time to care. When people go out of their way to help, they do some extra things with kindness and comion. People are selfless. People do little things to make our lives better. My first teachers of love were my parents. I when I was a kid, my father, who was a barangay captain (village leader), had many people with many problems visit our home. Their issues vary, but most were finance related. My father, being a village leader, went out of his way to help the people even to the point that he made promissory notes to the hospital to release a patient despite the bills not being paid. At one point, I asked him, “Why were you doing that?” My father’s response was, “Who would do it? They don’t have someone who could help. They are indigent, and I had to do what I can.” My mother took care of six children with selflessness, dedication, and generosity that was profound. I could never imagine how she took care of six children with different personalities and attending all their needs. She was a teacher, and she let go of her teaching career because she wanted to take care of us. Even now, at the age of 81, she continues to be a housewife and a servant to the family. These experiences and lessons in life were unforgettable and were instilled in my mind as I became a living witness to loving people. Because of my parents, my love for people was instilled in me as I was growing up.

Here is my point: learning to love is to make people a priority. I my experience vividly when I was talking to a 60-year-old man, Jose, who was diagnosed with colon cancer. His cancer was all over his body. He was accompanied by his wife. They became close to me because of our Filipino connection. Jose said, “I have been working since I came to Canada, but I did not realize that my life was this short. I was only diagnosed six months ago, and the cancer went fast. I was thinking of retirement already. I did not realize that retirement will be something different for me.” When I asked him, “What’s your vision of retirement?” Jose replied, “You know, I am a grandfather. I enjoyed taking my grandchildren to the park, taking care of them, and being with them. I wish I realized this earlier in my life. This little thing makes me happier more than anything else because I have given myself. I wish that I had made a priority to spend time with my family instead of being filled with work and work. After all, I won’t bring any material thing I have accumulated in this life.” Listening to Jose hurts, and I could imagine the anguish that he was going through. People must realize that they are so busy with many things that they have forgotten that people should be a priority in life. This is an essential element in love. We need to find time for people. We need to make time for family and friends. When you talk about marriages, there is a need to go back to your love story. What was the moment when you fell in love? When you talk about friendship, isn’t it nice to recall the good and unforgettable memories? When you talk about workplace relationships, do you a memorable shared experience with your coworkers?

Making People a Priority is Living a Life of Love.

What’s your experience of making people a priority? This has been an important question and realization for many patients in the later stages of their lives. One particular patient, Lyn, in her late 30s, shared her life story:

I was concerned about my job so much and building my career. I was particular and had high expectations for my children, my husband, and myself in general. I was concerned about having a beautiful home, a perfect car, a collector’s painting, branded and elegant clothes, and the list goes on. I was so consumed by the expectation I set for myself in the world that I have forgotten people. Not that I have neglected them, not that I was irresponsible, not that I was careless, but I had little quality bonding time with my family. I did not build many lasting memories of significance to make a difference.

I have never forgotten Lyn because of her realization, and her life story made a connection with many people in the same situation. They realized that making people a priority over things, over work, and over money would transform them to live a happier life. I truly believe that this is an essential principle of being love and living a life of love. It shows sincerity and genuineness to care and love people as people. Here is a key learning: realize that the importance of people over money, people over things, and people over work. I have seen the sorrow of patients who are considered rich people in society. They were on their deathbeds with all their wealth, but nobody accompanied them in their last breath, and their hearts were seeking love.

Love Brought Transformation

If you want others to be happy, practice comion. If you want to be happy, practice comion. —Dalai Lama

As a chaplain in the hospital ministry, I spent most of my time in the hospital visiting patients. The hospital is an unfamiliar, unexpected, and ambivalent place. We see rejoicing with births of a new life. People are celebrating being able to go home after being cured. But it is also a place where people are struggling in the dark. Some patients are confronted with the realities of death, their weaknesses, and human fragilities. Life is fragile. But whether there are goodnews or bad news, what makes the hospital special is the love that it generates and the love that is created. I see the love between family ; the love between friends; and the love between workers: doctors, nurses, staff, and caregivers. Even those who are cleaning the rooms, they are not related to the patients but they try their best to work because of love. One day, a dedicated nurse named Rose requested that I see a patient whose family stood out to her among many because their family was so close-knit. They visited every evening; and together they prayed, the wife, the children, and some grandchildren. They gave him the most precious gift: a loving, comionate presence. Rose said, “I know that whatever happens to this man. He will go and face God fulfilled because he was surrounded by love.” Then she said, “This dying patient and his family taught me the value of family, relationship, and love, even on his deathbed. Action speaks louder than words.”

Rose accompanied me to the family, and there I witnessed a different aura, something special, and something that touches your spirit deep inside. But what caught my attention was Rose. She had a deep and profound realization after experiencing that connection. Later on, in my many visits (she happened to be the nurse assigned in the unit), I witnessed her transformation in the care and love that she showed toward her other patients. It was inspiring to see that her experience of love by that family brought a change in her way of life. I thought about how many doctors, nurses, caregivers, and health professionals dedicate their lives to care for patients. These people are not related to them; but the love, care, and comion they have put day in and day out daily showed the kind of dedication they have to love people.

Small Acts of Love Could Change a Life

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. —Leo Buscaglia

As a priest, I have officiated a lot of funeral services. I have provided comionate spiritual care and a safe place for family , friends, and significant people to honor their loved ones during the time of grief. One time, during the funeral service of Teresa, I encouraged family to share their stories associated with the deceased. Surprisingly, there was a strange lady who approached the podium. She grabbed the microphone. I was speechless because it was sudden and I was not anticipating this to happen. The family was a shocked as well. The stranger introduced herself as Martha. She was tearful as she recalled her experience with Teresa. She said, “I know, you don’t know me, and you might be surprised that I came to speak. I was in crisis due to depression. I lost my son due to an accident. My husband left me. I was in a lot of mess. The only way for me to resolve my problem was to kill myself because I could not take any more. I was crying when Teresa saw me while she was gardening. I was only ing by, and I was prepared to end my life that day. Teresa reached out her hand and comionately comforted me that she would listen. I don’t know why, but I narrated my problems to Teresa. It was 30 minutes, but that encounter changed my life. It was two years ago that Teresa saved my life, and this is the reason I came here to let the family know how grateful I am because Teresa changed my life, and her gesture of love will always be with me till I live.” There was total silence; a drop of the pen could be heard if it falls. It was an incredible moment to behold: something sudden, something unplanned, and something profound.

The family, friends, and people in the service were captivated by the heartfelt and sincere speech of gratitude and indebtedness by Martha. It was profoundly moving. It was special because I knew the life of Teresa very well. She was a selfless mother, a wife, a servant, a volunteer, and a gardener. She loved gardening. She took great pride in her flowers. She had the patience and a love for living things, to grow a garden or a beautiful flower. Her legacy of love and perseverance will be ed not only by her family, relatives, friends, and many people but even by a stranger. The Bible says, “Be kind and comionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). Small acts of love are happening around us. Be that person who shares small acts of love wherever you go, whatever you, and whatever you will be. A smile, a thank you, a listening ear, a phone call, a greeting, and more concrete small acts of love. Mother Teresa said, “Love is not patronizing, and charity isn’t about pity, it is about love. Charity and love are the same—with charity you give love, so don’t just give money but reach out your hand instead.”

A Call to Share God’s Love

God loves us. May we discover the beauty of loving and being loved. —Pope Francis

I had a special ministry in the mental health department that serves more or less 40 to 50 patients. One of the many spiritual care experiences that stood out was Pauline, who had depression. She shared her life story as a successful businesswoman. She had a good life, but failed relationships led to her depression. Pauline became an alcoholic and described herself as an occasional drug . She had cancer multiple times and survived them all, but she expressed being lost with having no purpose and meaning in life. For Pauline, she would describe her life as a waste. She suffered anxiety and panic attacks. My encounter with her was that of a comionate presence and attentive listening to her story. In one dialogue, Pauline spoke about her struggle with faith. She felt that she did not deserve God and was not practicing her Christian belief for the past 20 years. Silent, lost for words, I felt her pain and suffering. I believe that it was part of the grace of the Holy Spirit. I encouraged her, telling her, “I felt God is telling me to let you know that He has been waiting for you because He loves you all these years with no condition. How about visiting God in the chapel?” I have not seen Pauline weeks since I spoke to her. I debated in my mind that she can talk to God anywhere, but I thought symbolism is an essential ritual for people who are struggling in her situation. In my substantial experience with clients who experienced mental illness, they sought something tangible or concrete to hold on, such as a rosary, Bible, and other religious items. I found that going to the chapel is symbolic of an encounter of God. That is why I invited her to try visiting the chapel.

It took a month before I saw Pauline again. She shared, “I was totally lost and nowhere to go in this life. But slowly, I see the purpose of why I was brought to the hospital. I did not seek God, but He found me. His love is real, and I will continue to visit the chapel.” I thought that her experience was slowly transformative. I could never imagine the suffering that she had gone through in her life. In another visit, Pauline expressed, “It came to a point in my life where I realized that life does not revolve around me. Rather, it is about experiencing the love of God and sharing His love.” Once we understand this principle that life does not revolve around us, but if we participate in life and God, who is love, then there is a paradigm shift in our thinking. It is like seeing life in a profound way. We will find a connection with everything around us as we appreciate our planet earth, nature, the greeneries, sacred places, and all created things that belong to God, who is love. In hindsight, I believe Pauline has had a transformative encounter. She had a paradigm shift. Pauline left me a note before she left the hospital that I treasured. She said, “Thank you for allowing me to see God’s love in my life. This makes me hold on to hope, and now I have faith and will move on in love.”

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection or Group Discussion to Live this Life-Giving Principle of Being Love

Guided Questions…of Being Love I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to do journal writing because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

What are the experiences of being loved in your life? What does it mean to feel the love in your life? What is the experience you had in your life where you felt God’s love? How has being love to the world around you transformed you and made an impact in your life? What makes the principle of being love important in living a meaningful life? What are your experiences in your life where you give people a priority? What are the concrete actions of living the principle of being love in your life?

Creative Project on Random Acts of Love Creative Project on Random Acts of Love When you are in a group, family circle, or community and as you learn to live a life of love and learning the way to love, this is an invitation to practice random acts of love. In Focolare spirituality, we practice in our group or community the principle of Chiara Lubich: “Be the first one to love.” The idea here is to encourage yourself or group to show comion, kindness, love to friends and families in unexpected ways. The method is to use or write affirming, complimentary notes or kind, loving, and positive sticky notes. You can provide your group with a supply of sticky notes and have instruction for a quiet time to write down an affirming compliment for a member of the group or family. Once finished, gather the group and surprise each one with your random acts of love.

Life-Giving Principle 2: Being Self-Aware

Live a Life of Awareness

Living is the constant adjustment of thought to life and life to thought in such a way that we are always growing, always experiencing new things in the old and old things in the new. This life is always new. —Thomas Merton

To make life new every day is to continually make the necessary adjustment to grow, to discover, and become the best through living a life of self-awareness. Being self-aware is a vital trait of a person living a meaningful life. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” I have heard this quote during my younger years but did not yet realize its power, impact, and significance in our lives. It took several encounters with different people who have expressed the importance of self-awareness and their realization of how much it made a difference in their lives. I have discovered that an earnest effort and pure intention in living a life of awareness must come through self-reflection. This will put the person above the situation in all circumstances. The analogy is likened to when a person has a problem, that person is groping in the dark. He is at the level of the valley. He looks at the situation from the ground level. He cannot see beyond his situation because he is covered by darkness, overwhelmed with his problems, struggles, and conflicts. But when he stays on the top of the valley of darkness, he sees the problems, conflict, and struggles in a different level. He knows and understands then how to respond to many situations. In the same way, a life of awareness through self-reflection is a necessary practice for all of us to live a meaningful and fulfilling life. Being self-aware is the enduring theme that I often heard when the patient expressed different statement such as “I’d wish that I had known myself better” or “I’d wish that I would not commit the same mistakes,” “I have been living a routine life that it seemed like yesterday, and now I am already 65.” I have

observed that there are two ways people frame their regrets: first, the actions they wish they had done but hadn’t, and second, the actions they did that they wish they didn’t. A caregiver friend, Nancy, who has a pattern of being a savior to her siblings and extended family, said, “I was disappointed in myself because I easily gave in to the financial needs of my siblings and extended family when I have responsibilities of my own.” A parishioner, Joana, said, “If I could go back, I would advise myself to stay calm and not decide when I am at the height of my anger.” An elderly friend, George, said, “I’d wish that I have done all my research and options before I make a major decision on surgery.” A financial broker, Matthew, said, “I realize that it is never too late to be true to myself and honor my inner dignity and principle, rather than trying to achieve a wealthier lifestyle.” These statements from different people in a different context of their lives were examples of the regrets and the desire to be self-aware would have been transformative. Obviously, we do not want to be one of those people who are stagnant and stuck in their situations, people who live life in the cycle and have no self-awareness. Many times I have heard from these people that they are not happy with their relationships. They have so much anger, and they continue to live in their past resentments. They have lost this sense of desire to selfintrospect.

Developing Self-Awareness through Self-Reflection Is Vital

Our self-reflection will make us develop an attitude of awareness in our life journey. Life teaches through experiences, whether we recognize the lessons or not. When we reflect on our lives, we make sense of our experiences and internalize what we learn. This truth has been here since ancient times and is evident in religions, such as Buddhism and Christianity, which have preached the importance of self-reflection. In Psalm 1:3 says, “He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruits in its season, and its leaf does not wither, and in whatever he does, he prospers.” Developing self-awareness creates this strength in character.

The purpose of self-reflection is to discover our thoughts, feelings, desires, and actions, and learn from them, thereby creating more life-giving attitude. Here is my discovery: self-reflection is not just the mere act of finding our failures but, more so, the act of awareness and learning of life’s lesson that becomes the development of a more positive self and the realization of our purpose. Thus, when we have developed our self-awareness and have increased our capacity for the learning of life and different situations and contexts, I truly believe we can apply this basic principle of self-introspection and live a meaningful and fulfilling life. As a tennis player, I had been playing since I was 13 years old and I have developed the physical skills but not the mental abilities in the game. I only learned after I was coached by a professional who challenged me to constantly reflect the game of tennis through a process of assessment of the game, understanding the opponent’s way of playing, learning to make an ongoing adjustment, sticking with the plan, and incorporating in the present context. He said, “Think about Rafael Nadal, my tennis hero. He constantly plays point by point with the same intensity, continuously understands the other player, and makes adjustments to the win the game.” This kind of mindset will make me reflect on the next point before I serve. During the game, I have to be self-reflective about my mistakes; the points I won; and also be aware of my opponent’s strategy, his strength and weakness. Importantly, I have to pay attention to my own game because that is what I can control. Through constant reflection and self-awareness during the game, I will be able to make a necessary adjustment to be successful in my performance. Since then, my tennis game has changed and has improved. My life has also grown in my way of living a life of awareness that this is a constant reflection and ongoing process. In life, I hope you have a sense of awareness and discovery of your strengths and weaknesses. It is not going to be perfect. We can only control our responses. The more we practice self-reflection, the more we learn to live a life of awareness and the better we become in our refined actions. While I was working as a chaplain, I continued my professional training for clinical pastoral education for two years. I was taught in the methodology approach of action-reflection, refined action as an essential tool that we apply

practically in our daily lives to improve our self-awareness. Self-awareness is a tool. We must learn to recognize our thoughts and feelings within ourselves and to pay attention to the thoughts and feelings of others as they share their stories. We can all agree that there has to be some kind of actions in the journey. We reflect on all those actions and realize what we can learn and, hopefully, develop a refined action so that we can be the best of who we are. Being self-aware is to live a life of awareness and to self-reflect is to improve our skills in self-awareness.

Discover Your True Self

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Awareness of self could mean simply being able to discover oneself. This means that we have a level of understanding about our strength, our core values, our mission, and purpose in life, our ion, our interest, our personality, and, hopefully, our blind spots. These are loaded with words and meaning. I recognized that this is easier to express but challenging to do because often we are not self-aware. Here is my discovery: self-awareness is not just about noticing ourselves but recognizing and monitoring what is happening internally within us in order to discover our true selves. I am wondering, have you made judgments about anything with yourself, whether it be your experiences, your thoughts, opinions, or feelings? If yes, then you know what I am talking about. I like self-awareness because it makes one curious and wonder what is happening within. When we learn to notice something within us, there will be a discovery. You will realize something powerful in your life because you learn to acknowledge and recognize what is happening within you as part of being human rather than giving yourself a hard time without understanding why. For example, have you noticed yourself saying statements like “I should (or I shouldn’t) have done that.” I continue to work on developing self-awareness, especially with my assumptions. A lot of people I have helped and spiritually guided have many

conflicts with others in relationships, in the workplace, and the community because of assumptions. For example, if you see two people having a romantic dinner in a fine dining restaurant, you can easily assume that they are a couple. Just imagine! You see me with this beautiful, gorgeous supermodel in a dinner, will you assume that she is my girlfriend? I am just giving an example. Okay! Possibly you are making assumptions now or not at all? How about, if you see me with another person, let’s say with an elder woman in her 70s, what would be your assumptions? Ah! You would assume she is my mother, right? Here are self-awareness questions that can help in discovering yourself: Are you self-aware of your thoughts and feelings of self and others? Are you aware of your assumptions or judgments? How casually do you make assumptions unconsciously? How often do you make assumptions about others without ing the facts? Are you able to make a distinction between facts and your assumption or interpretation? It would be nice to find a moment to answer these questions for reflections. Now I have here some common assumptions used by people as part of the daily conversation I have observed:

“All eyes are on you when you are performing.” “People are to blame for their actions regardless of the situations.” “We know what we are talking about.” “If you see one, you see them all.”

I am glad that as a chaplain, we were trained to be self-aware about our assumptions as we enter in the patient’s room. We check our assumptions to clarify our understanding of the patient’s situation. If we don’t know our assumptions, often the understanding of those assumptions could be interpreted as the truth of reality.

The danger of having no self-awareness falls again into misunderstanding, misinterpretation, and miscommunication, because the assumptions were not clarified and possibly were not distinguished from reality or what the individual meant when they shared their story. Essentially, a lack of self-awareness can lead to misunderstanding or misinterpreting ourselves. I found a lot of people in family dynamics, organizations, and communities falling into misunderstanding due to a lack of self-awareness and unclarified assumptions. Often, their interpretations of reality were perceived to be the truth. Here is a key learning: being self-aware discovers our true self. The invitation is to be self-aware and to understand that self-awareness is a process because the universe around us is continuously changing and we are forever evolving ourselves. We are all the more challenged to learn and develop our sense of self-awareness. “As water reflects the face, so one’s life reflects the heart” (Prov. 27:19). As we see ourselves in clear water, our self-knowledge leads to an understanding of self and others. The more self-aware we are, the better we become in relationships and the manner in how we approach people.

Do You Know Your Impact on Others?

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-awareness is not solely about one’s own self; rather, we mostly learn about ourselves in relation to others. Discovering our impact is self-awareness of self and others. This is about understanding how others perceive us based on our human behavior. It is about being able to have a sense of perspective on the consequences of our thoughts and actions. I realized that the more we get to know ourselves and commit to maintaining self-awareness, we transform the landscape of our relational lives. We learn not to compare ourselves with others. We learn to engage with people whose values are aligned with ours and who contribute positively to our lives. We could also grow in our own self-awareness by learning from a person whose values are different from our own. We become self-aware about our impact on others and how others have an impact on us. Being self-aware of our impact on others is learning the importance of boundaries. They are learned. There are many kinds of boundaries: material, physical, mental, and emotional. Material boundaries refer to one’s regulation, whether you contribute and offer, such as your car, cellphones, books, or money. Physical boundaries refer to personal space with your body and privacy. With whom and when do you allow physical touch to be acceptable? Mental boundaries refer to your beliefs, thoughts, and ideas. I found these questions on mental boundaries helpful: Are you aware of what you believe? Do you find yourself easily persuaded or strong-minded, or combination of both? Are you able to listen with an open mind while being aware of your own

thoughts and paradigms? Are you able to make a distinction between facts and interpretations without being biased? Answering these questions is beneficial in our understanding of self and its impact on others. Emotional boundaries refer to the distinction of detaching one’s emotion and responsibility for them from someone else’s. There is a sense of an imaginary line that separates self and others. I have realized that if I become highly emotional, argumentative, or defensive, I am learning the need for emotional boundaries to establish and grow within me. The key learning is being self-aware concerning healthy boundaries that will prevent us from giving advice even if it is not needed, blaming to get away from our responsibility, or accepting blame as part of our emotional coping. I realized that healthy boundaries safeguard our feeling of guilt from someone’s negative emotions or issues. Have you observed many people project their issues and blame others? My spiritual mentor explained that elevated human reactions imply fragile boundaries. But a mature and balanced emotional state has the clarity of internal boundaries in understanding our feelings and ability on self and others. Being self-aware of our impact enables us to set healthy emotional boundaries and know when we’re being treated in ways that are not aligned with our wellbeing. By staying self-aware, we do our part to choose our relationships wisely, navigate them effectively, and create harmony with the people in our lives. Awareness of others involves being self-aware of the impact by humbly asking from others and receiving and giving criticisms constructively. This is having a sense of understanding of how others feel, learning to read individual differences, being sensitive to the feelings of others, and knowing how to trust oneself and one’s feelings about others in relation to others.

Are You Aware of Your Programming?

Self-awareness is the ability to take an honest look at your life without any attachment to being right or wrong, good or bad. —Debbie Ford

Self-awareness allows us to be conscious of our programming and preconceptions of our minds. This is a groundwork from understanding how the human mind operates. This involves understanding of our life’s history, family, values, needs, habits, emotions, and cultural background as our programming. When I was little, my parents took me to church every Sunday as part of our family routine. I grew up in a Catholic Filipino family home and in the Catholic worldview with its Catholic teachings and moral principles instilled in my mind as guidelines I live by. As I got older, I realized that I was going through the motions. It seemingly did not have any impact on me. It was a struggle, but I continued attending church every Sunday despite lacking connection because part of my programming and the values instilled in me was to fulfill Sunday Mass obligation. Was I self-aware of my programming then? To be honest, no! I was not selfaware at all. I was taught, and learned, to obey rules without question. At home, there were rules. My father was authoritarian, and his way of the order was discipline and self-restraint. You don’t question an order made by my father; you simply follow it. I come from that practice. But as I grew older, I started being curious about many things, such as my patterns of behavior. I asked questions: why, what, and how can I improve myself? The more I asked questions to my spiritual mentors, the more I learned about myself. It was through their guidance, spiritual directions, and challenges for self-reflection that I have become more self-aware, including my programming. I discovered that our programming was influenced by our environment; the

cultural background we come from as a country, province, city; the dynamics within our family system; the values, beliefs, and behavior within our family, the school, the community; and our church beliefs. Here is my challenge for you: the more you discover about the influences in your life, the better is your understanding of how your mind operates. The key learning is to adapt to the learning process of self-awareness of the environment. In other words, there must be a conscious effort on your part to know yourself and how your environment influences your thinking, such as “reading the room.” This means being aware of the thoughts and emotions in the room or the people around you. In other words, we have to be mindful of the behavior, the manners, thoughts, and feelings of others that surface within the context of the environment. For example, is the context of the room or people happy, sad, mad, or worried? The atmosphere will come out based on the thoughts of the people within a particular environment. You need to learn and understand the nonverbal communication that is being communicated through the human behavior of facial expressions, body language, postures, and other’s way. I had an experience in the hospital where a baby was coded “pink,” which requires immediate attention to address cardiorespiratory arrest at neonatal age. The distressed parents were present, and other family were all in shock. The staff showed behavior signs of distress. The baby was being resuscitated for the last 30 minutes. The environment was totally different and beyond normal. I had to be mindful that this incident was highly sensitive. Being self-aware of the current environment, I was mindful as to how I should attend to the spiritual care needed by the people around me. I was also mindful of when best to approach the affected people of the code pink incident. My invitation is to be self-aware of one’s programming. A famous psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung once said, “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.” If you are self-aware, you have an understanding that there are things in life where you find yourself irritated and annoyed as part of your programming. Now being aware of it and able to recognize it, you learn not to project your selfdisdain, your self-harm, and your self-irritation to others. In effect, you have learned the ability to have an honest look with your life without any attachment

to being right or wrong but simply being aware of your programming, and then you will able to respond accordingly.

A Way to Practice Self-Awareness

The glory is being happy. The glory is not winning here or winner there. The glory is enjoying practicing, enjoy every day, enjoying working hard, trying to be a better player than before. —Rafael Nadal

I learned a lot in the practice of self-awareness in my workplace, in my relationships, and my interactions with others and I continue to practice selfawareness as part of a life-giving principle. How did I practice? Here are some practical steps: (1) it is important to understand the appreciation of receiving . It is about our willingness to hear what others perceive and experience us in our behavior, our actions, and words. It is they who can give us lens or perspectives to evaluate ourselves. Understanding invites us to seek more . is crucial for our learning and growth. Otherwise, we continue to listen to ourselves without understanding our blind spots. That’s why it is important to have spiritual mentors and trusted friends who can give objective . Once we receive , this will identify some materials for analysis and enable us to (2) recognize our strengths and weaknesses. This will allow us to validate our strengths and work on our weaknesses. In this process, (3) key learning is the practice of self-reflection because this will unlock thoughts and emotions that reveal key issues to work on in our journey. (4) We monitor our self-talk to bring inspiration and a positive spirit rather than negativity in our lives. We learn to practice self-care by saying yes and no what is becoming of us and what is not becoming. Lastly, (5) learn to ask questions before decision-making. However, I also realized that there are moments in life, such as interaction with

others and daily routines, where I find myself thinking negatively or judging myself, especially when my expectations are not met. For example, have you noticed yourself internally wanting to control the event or situation that is often beyond our control and dependent on different circumstances? This is all part of the process of growing and learning self-reflection deeper. I am now able to stop, take a breath, learn to slow down, and remind myself of the purpose of my action, thinking and feeling, and what it means for me. I am able to be conscious of my behavioral patterns, have made either/or choices depending on the situation, and work at becoming the best of who I am. It is important to realize that the lessons we learn are being integrated with new patterns into our daily life. This is a continuous process and ongoing learning. I take comfort in knowing that I have done my best and every day that I am learning, I have been self-aware in my actions, have gone through reflection, and now have refined my responses.

Do You Enjoy What You Do in Your Life?

What is a little thing is a little thing. But to be faithful in little thing is a great thing. —St. Augustine

What makes you do what you do, why you do it, and how you do it? Such questions involve an invitation for reflection on our motivations and our sense of self-awareness. I believe that it is crucial to understand what we do, how we do it, and why we do it. This is a simple question, but at times I found myself asking, “Why am I reacting to this situation or experience?” I hope you are thinking about the same question. Are you? Let me ask these questions: Do you enjoy what you do? Or are you feeling tired of what you do? In my world, I find joy and happiness in exercise. I love it when I am learning something new. I enjoy communicating with friends. I enjoy playing tennis. I find satisfaction in being able to serve people. Yes, I get tired of these things, but it’s the good kind of tiredness where I felt joy and fulfillment. However, there are many people who do things, get tired, and are sad because they are all stressed out with what they do. They complain, and they do not enjoy what they do. They will always find a problem and see something wrong. In the end, they become tired and unhappy. Most people have a realization, and they know in their hearts that they have to do what they think, but when they are at that moment, they cannot do it. They are simply stuck. For example, we know vegetables and healthy fruits must be our priority to live a healthy lifestyle, yet we don’t eat them. We know that soda, sweets, and many other things are not healthy, yet we still love to eat those.

The question is how to make changes in our lives to attain our specific goal. I have realized in my journey that the most effective way of having success in transformation is doing little and simple things one at a time. Being faithful in small things and putting them into practice every day will certainly become a habit. For example, I set a specific goal, such as going to the gym or playing tennis once a week. I set a calendar schedule as my schedule task so that I will be able to accomplish it. This little practice will help me to achieve my achievable goal. Success in life is not determined in one sunset. It is actually the moment of doing little things that will develop habits a little at a time faithfully. Jesus said, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Enter into the joy of your master!” (Matt. 25:21). I discovered something really interesting about myself when learning how to eat Japanese sushi, sashimi, and other exotic foods. Many years ago, my brother-inlaw brought me to a Japanese restaurant. It was my first time eating sushi and sashimi. I was so sorry but I vomited. My mind and body could not take it. Interestingly, however, my friends would often bring me to Japanese restaurants. I would order teriyaki because that is what I could stomach. For them, they look forward to the taste of sushi and sashimi. I see their happy faces while I grimaced at the idea of how they were able to eat raw fish. Since my friends would bring me to Japanese restaurants numerous times, I attempted to try it once in a while. It started with one piece. Every time we went out, I tried one piece, then another one again. This became a habit until, eventually, my taste buds adapted to the taste. Now I love Japanese restaurants because I have learned to love sushi and sashimi. Every time my friends invited me to go out, or I go out on my own, I always suggest a Japanese restaurant. I am sharing the story of my sushi experience to drive an important point. Having awareness is a step to have the will power to choose, to respond, and create change. The key learning is that we can transform ourselves to become better persons through faithfulness in little things and being able to enjoy the little things we do in our lives. Indeed, being self-aware of what you do, why

you do it, and making an effort to change will bring joy and meaning in life. Thus, it is like sunlight that when it shines, there could be transformation.

Be Purpose Driven

The greatest tragedy in life is not death but life without purpose. —Rick Warren

Being self-aware is learning to celebrate your purpose. Your purpose is intentional self-actualization of what God intended you to be. I realized that in this life, it is not about me. It is not about you. The purpose of our life is far greater than our fulfillment, our peace of mind, or even our happiness. Rather, our purpose is celebrating what God’s purpose and plan for you and me because we were born for such missions. To celebrate our life’s purpose is to be will-driven, not simply by just liking or wanting it. Many people assume that the connection between emotion and behavior is one way. You have to realize that our feelings or emotions influence our behavior, but there is a huge difference between being like-driven or willdriven. Have you noticed something in yourself? When you “will,” it is active, and when you “like,” it is ive. In willing, you are choosing to do something, but in liking, you are being drawn to something. Willing is intentional, determined, decisive, focused, persistent. Liking is capricious, changeable, impulsive, unreliable, erratic, wayward; and because liking is a function of the emotions, it varies from moment to moment. You have to realize that to will is to decide to do something, regardless of the presence or absence of pleasant emotions. To like is to be drawn to action only with the presence of pleasant emotions or sensations. Can you imagine yourself being like-driven? How many times have you disliked

waking from the bed, going to work, preparing food for the family, or going to church? If you were like-driven, most probably, you will accomplish nothing. Think about this: achievers do not always like what they do. But they are winners because they will find themselves to do it anyway. Here is my key learning: our action follows emotion. This is the challenge in life: be purpose driven, have the will to do it, and soon you will learn to like what you do.

Gerry’s Key from St. Peter

When I die, I will send down a shower of roses from the heavens. I will spend my heaven doing good on earth. —St. Therese De Lisieux

Daddy Gerry is a patriarch of a big family. He is a father, a brother, a friend, and a man of strong faith. He has been a family to me in Canada. Every time he visited the hospital for dialysis. He would find himself weak, and disturbed with recent negative test results. He was wondering if he would be itted to the hospital. In any case, he requested my presence. This has been the case for the last three years. Interestingly, however, for some reason, every time he received the sacrament of healing, he would feel better. He was convinced that he received strength from the Lord, and that made him strong and resilient despite his health issues. In one of my conversations with the of the family, Edwin told me this story:

One day, my daddy said, “Edwin, do you know how many times I have been anointed by Father Joe?” Edwin replied, “I don’t know, Daddy. Why?” Gerry answered, “Believe it or not, more than 30 times, and in those 30 times, I got better. God is good because He made being aware of my blessings.” Then my father shared this story with me. “You know, I realized that God has a sense of humor and must have loved me. I’m almost being called for death, and I

thought St. Peter must be tired waiting for me because it has been several times I have had near-death experiences. So St. Peter said, ‘Gerry, I’m tired of waiting for you, so here is the key. You can come in anytime whenever you like.’”

When Edwin shared this story with the family and with me, we laughed and laughed because Gerry was still able to make a joke despite his illness. What I have realized and discovered in my many conversations with Gerry was his strong faith in God. But more than that, it is his awareness of his needs, the people around him, and his keen mind. He was self-aware and attentive to even small details with the family. If Gerry noticed one of his siblings or children was missing during visits, he would call attention to it. When Gerry was itted and his prognosis was abysmal, his family were in distress. Every day, he would look for all his siblings, children, and grandchildren. I was impressed that Gerry memorized all their names. He was fully aware of what was going on and what may happen. He told me, “The gift of family is important during dying moments.” Even in those moments, it was a profound encounter with him. I knew he was scared, he was restless, unsettled; and it gave him comfort that the family was around him. It gave him an assurance that all be well for him. However, I knew when there was something concerning him every time Gerry appeared to be seeking for attention. He was fully aware of what was going on around him. One of the aunties, whom I called the mother superior among all siblings, spoke about the importance of confession before death. She mentioned that during the death of their parents, the way they prepared themselves was to have a confession. The belief of the sacrament of penance as a sanctifying grace from God, and a preparation to meet the Lord was significant for them. She expressed this strongly because of the happy and peaceful death which their parents and brother in law had. Gerry requested for his sister and listened to her spiritual advice. St. Thomas Aquinas said, “In the life of the body a man is sometimes sick, and unless he takes medicine, he will die. Even so, in the spiritual life, a man is sick on of sin. For that reason, he needs medicine so that he may be restored

to health; and this grace is bestowed in the sacrament of reconciliation.” On that day, they requested me the celebration of the sacrament of reconciliation and anointing of the sick. I thought Gerry was fighting for his life. He was still conscious. His eyes were opened, and he was barely able to talk. I held his hand. Gerry, with his might and effort, shook his head and closed his eyes. Then he squeezed my hand tightly. That was the indication; he wanted this sacrament. I felt this was very important to him. I asked him, “What do you want to tell me?” Gerry’s response was, “My failures and weakness,” and his hand squeezed stronger. I told him, “I advise you to surrender yourself to God at this point.” After the celebration, he was calm and at peace. His restlessness was gone. I left and went back to the family, where we had a meeting with the attending physician, who gave a prognosis that he could die at any time. Those moments were one of the many long evenings that were difficult because it was not easy for the family. After the meeting, I took a moment of rest in prayer, and soon after, they called me, telling me that, “Daddy Gerry died peacefully with the family present in prayer.” When I came back and saw him, I had goose bumps because he was very peaceful. It was not easy for the family, but they were relieved that their father, brother, friend, uncle, and servant of God has rested in peace in the hands of God.

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection and Group Discussion to Live this Life-Giving Principle of Being Aware

Guided Questions…of Being Aware I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to do journal writing because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

Am I living true to myself? Am I doing what matters most? Am I aware of my assumptions of self and others? Am I making assumptions about others without ing the facts? Am I able to make a distinction between facts and interpretation? Am I conscious of my self-judgment and criticism of others? Am I mindful of my thoughts and feelings of self and others?

These questions will help you in becoming a self-aware person. If you were honest enough to face these questions, then there wouldn’t be a doubt that you will discover more about yourself and others.

Creative Project on Mirror of Self Creative Project on Mirror of Self Each participant is asked to bring a mirror. Each is going to choose a partner. This is a confidential exercise but involves a lot of honesty in oneself in order to have self-awareness. The partner will hold the mirror and take down notes of whatever goes to the mind of the person as he or she sees herself or himself in the mirror. For 15 minutes, each participant will take turns and face the mirror and say with honesty what goes to their mind as they see themselves. After this activity, each participant will get the notes of their partner about himself or herself and will reflect for another 15 minutes to let it sink in. In this activity, the participant will discover about himself or herself. It will highlight some of the blind spots that are patterning in our lives. This will put us into reflection about how we see ourselves and make us think what we are and who we are.

Life-Giving Principle 3: Being Present

Live a Life in the Present Moment

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. —Mahatma Gandhi

Being present in the moment means to appreciate the here and now. In the religious community of the Institute Voluntas Dei, one of the essential values is living the present moment. This has been a principle of practicing spiritual happiness by the founder Fr. Louis-Marie Parent, OMI, with his words, “Each twenty-four hours God offers me a new day like a blank page. Each day has good moments, but the best moment of all is the present moment that I can fill with serious and positive thoughts, thoughts of joy and optimism, thoughts of peace for myself, and others.” We must live in the present moment. We must open our eyes to see what we have to see in the precious moment. We must realize that many times we are so blinded by so many things. We are blinded by our prejudices or biases of ourselves, of our people, our expectations, our mindsets, and how we live our lives. One form of blindness that pervades our current situation in the world is anxiety. Nowadays, lots of people are anxious about so many things. I often heard that patients are anxious before the test results. They often talk about the struggle of waiting, the unknown, the uncertainty of life, the struggle of what the future might be now that they are confronted with different kinds of illnesses. They spoke about their experiences of sweating, chills, increased heart rate, and many other forms of human responses due to their anxiety. I can relate to their experiences where I had been anxious about the unknown, uncertainty, and other triggers. Although I learned that anxiety is a natural human response to a perceived danger with the brain’s fight or flight response, it is not easy when you are suffering from anxiety. I have learned from my patients

that our bodily reactions are out of proportion such that even in small matters, there could be a perceived danger when, in reality, there is none. So I asked the question, how do they deal in situations where they felt anxious, depressed, and helpless? Interestingly, their common response was, “We try to open our eyes.” This sounds simple but has a deep meaning. As I have explored with many patients, opening our eyes could mean discovering the power of the present moment, realizing a nonjudgmental view of reality, and embracing the way things are. Their thoughts and responses reminded me of the Bible message from the of Matthew 6:25–28: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink, or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds in the sky; they do not sow or reap, they gather nothing into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are not you more important than they? Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life span?” Here is a key learning: living the present moment is opening our eyes to the here and now. Yes, there will be many forms of challenges, but ancient spiritual fathers and teachers also exhort us to make the most of every day as an opportunity that will not come again. Such spiritual exercise is called the presence of God. This means that we are seeing God in the present moment through our human experience of everyday life. Even in the trivial or unimportant, God is truly present.

Living One Day at a Time

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time. —Abraham Lincoln

A patient, Marlo, was sitting on his chair and looking at the window. He looked pale and weak. I happened to by. I was curious, so I asked how he was feeling that day. Marlo replied, “Thanks for asking. I’m living one day at a time, not looking back and not thinking of the future as well.” Moved by what he said, I thought that was a striking statement. I explored with Marlo his illness and how to deal with it. He narrated that this thought of “living one day at a time” just dawned on him one day. He expressed, “I realized that as a human being when I learned I had cancer of the throat, I told myself, ‘So what? I have cancer. I will drink beer and move on with my life. By God’s grace, I will outlive cancer, and I will be fine.’” Furthermore, Marlo shared, “You know what, I don’t have any regrets in life. I have accomplished my dreams. I took care of my parents. I have served many people. I have taught music to many students. I have done what I had to do. I tried to live life the best I could and learned life.” I said, “Wow! It sounds your life is meaningful.” Marlo replied with joy, “I tried to live life as I know. I am thankful, and I can’t complain. Yesterday, I got bad news because my doctor told me that I have a blood clot and it might be possible that my cancer relapsed. Well, initially, it puts me off, but as I said, one day at a time.” I listened to Marlo, and I thought he does not consider himself religious, but his deep connection with God was incredible. I thought he lived a positive attitude each day that brings life to him, and he appeared to be grace-filled in his

approach with his illness. So I was curious, “How have you learned to live life in the present moment and see it as a grace?” Marlo said, “I don’t know, but I just learned to live this way. Truly, it is grace. Such grace had given me strength, such grace has allowed me to live life, and such grace is this moment.” That was Marlo. I would never forget him because such a beautiful experience was a testimony that living in the present moment is a gift and power that we have. Here is a key learning: being present in the moment is living one day at a time. Fr. Louis-Marie Parent beautifully expressed, “To live one day at a time is to apply ourselves to being positive, to live the best that is within us, to be present to the best that is in others.”

A Lady with a Prosthetic Leg

God never takes something from your life without replacing it with something better. —Billy Graham

I was watching a show to honor the veterans who sacrificed for World War II on November 11, 2019, when a couple ed by. A man was holding his wife, and this woman was wearing a prosthetic leg. She was walking comfortably with confidence and did not show any disability. She sat beside me. I was struck. It made me curious and wondered what happened to this lady with a prosthetic leg. I asked her, “I’m curious. How did you end up having a prosthetic leg?” It made her pause and smile. She shared how she was injured by accident. For a while, she had depression when she lost her leg. She was discouraged. She lost her job and had a problem with her son. She had gone through a lot. But at one point while she was praying, she thought that her leg was cut and there was nothing that she could do to turn it back; rather, she can do something about her life in the present. She realized that this was all she got right now. “My present moment,” she declared. Then with joy and enthusiasm, she said, “My life has been hard, but I can turn this around and live with what I have, for I realized that I have a God of purpose.” Lo and behold! She did not turn her back on life due to the trauma of the accident, the tragedy; but she has fought hard to go to rehab, started walking again, and experiencing a new life. “Since then, I met my husband, and we have been married for 50 years with two kids.” She continued, “People asked me, how did I survive?”

She told me three keywords. “Three F’s—Faith. Family. Friends.” Then she mentioned that she struggled with her son being wild. She talked to God. God said, “Let it go and let it be.” She continued, “Letting go and letting God have my problems allows me to live better in the present moment.” Would you believe that this person, out of nowhere, was sharing with me her life story when I just met her by chance waiting before an entertainment show? I was fascinated by how God works in the present moment. St. Francis De Sales once said, “Grace is never wanting; God always gives sufficient grace to whoever is willing to receive it.” The grace of the moment was overwhelming. I could not contain the presence of God because I was already in the presence of God. The difference is the realization in my consciousness. I was thinking, Dear Lord, truly, You are a God of purpose. You send people to be a reminder of living the present moment. I felt God was speaking to me through this woman who happened to sit beside me. I described this experience as God coming to visit me through this woman. I could never imagine that this woman with a prosthetic leg came out from nowhere, sat, and shared the grace of God with me at that moment. I was in tears because God was present in the moment and taught me something so simple, so basic and so profound: “Just trust Me. Trust Me. When the ride appears to be rough, windy, stormy, and dark, I will show you the light.” In my solitude, I offered this prayer.

Dear Lord, I’m humbled by Your graciousness to speak to Your unworthy servant. I don’t deserve this love, this blessing, this grace. Today, through this lady with a prosthetic leg, you showed me how powerful You are, how unconditional your love is, and how generous You are. Truly You speak to us in ordinary and simple circumstances of our lives. I’m a witness of the grace of this moment. Teach me to see Your grace even in every moment, especially when I hardly see it. Remind me and continue to guide me. I offer myself to You. Amen.

The Presence of God through Other People

If we keep ourselves in the presence of God, we shall neither think nor say nor do what is wrong, convinced, as we are that God is the witness of all our thoughts, words, and actions. —St. John Chrysostom

One day, I met Angela, a mother of a 17-year-old son who had a total wreck car accident. Her son was severely brain damaged and was now in a coma. She was anguished, devastated, and distressed. I sat beside her and listened to her comionately. Angela expressed, “I could not imagine that I could experience this for my son. This is very hard and painful. My son is a good boy. He is very smart. He works two jobs and can manage his schooling. He also goes to the mission in Peru and Asia as a Christian.” I created a safe space by allowing Angela to express her burdens and distress. Angela continued her story. “I am a Christian, and I have faith in God. I believe in the power of miracles. Our church was informed about my son’s accident, and I got to find out that the whole church is now on the vigil and praying for him. How did you come to see me?” she asked. I replied, “I saw you in the corner, and I was concerned because you were bursting into tears. I was wondering if I could provide some comfort.” Angela responded, “Thank you for being here. Yes, I needed someone to listen.” She continued, “It gave me comfort and joy that amidst this pain and suffering, there are good people who are sent by God to remind me that grace upon grace is

happening in the here and now.” I was curious, so I asked, “How are you able to see the grace of God despite this sudden accident, which I could imagine is a shock?” Angela responded, “Since the time I found out, my son’s church community friends came to be present in this difficult time. My friends, whom I have not seen for a while, came to provide a ive presence. My husband, whom I had a big fight, suddenly had reconciliation. I am a believer. And this, for me, is a reminder of the graces that are happening.” I responded with the validation and affirmation of her faith. Angela said, “I did not ask for you, but you came from nowhere. I don’t know where else you are going to credit that as a believer.” On that day, as I reflectively listened to Angela, I could imagine the pain of a mother. I was also going through a difficult time of a misunderstanding in the workplace. I found myself complaining, etc. Here I was, and my little problem couldn’t compare to the pain of this mother. I could feel her pain, her agony, and suffering. God humbled me in this experience. I was deeply touched by the power of her faith to see God’s grace amidst the pain and suffering. She held on to her faith, she continued to believe. She was in pain and distress, and she was powerless, but she declared God’s miracle and grace. In life, we can find an essential lesson in every encounter of God’s grace through people who are sent to us to remind us. At that time, I felt humbled that God showed me this way of healing. He reminded me through the inspiration of St. John Chrysostom: “If we keep ourselves in the presence of God, we shall neither think nor say nor do what is wrong, convinced as we are that God is the witness of all our thoughts, words, and actions.” In a solitary moment, I reflected and talked to God. “I’m so overwhelmed by Your love at this moment. It makes me cry as I see Your love for people who are suffering, and You have shown me your grace through them. Every time I feel so down, You are there in the shadows. I might not see the light and wisdom in every problem right away, especially yesterday, but I have the faith that blessing is coming. Yesterday I felt so down due to injustice, but today I experienced

Your love through the people I have met.”

A Sweet and Poetic 80-Year-Old

Forever is composed of nows. —Emily Dickinson

One day, I had a conversation with a sweet and poetic 80-year-old Letty who reminded me of my mother. Letty said, “I wish that I had realized at my earlier age that I could enjoy the present moment. Yet it is never too late because now I live a life of the present moment when anytime I will be gone from this world. Today is a grace from God. We enjoy the present moment.” I said, “It is never too late for anything because your realization is a testimony of God’s grace in your life.” Letty replied, “Yes, I have learned, and continuously learn every day, to remind myself that I will cherish each day as a blessing, each moment as a gift to love and to live. I have come to a point in life where I realized that I am limited. I cannot more burden than the present moment offers me.” I found her so pleasing and insightful when she said, “Each person you meet is a channel of life, to know and relate, to cherish and appreciate. Every flower you see, every breath you take, and every moment is God’s gift in the present moment.” I wished I can continue to express the way Letty did it, but truly, what she said remind us of the extraordinary experiences of people and their realization of living a life with purpose and meaning, whatever context or situation they are currently in. Being present in the moment invites us to discover the power of the now. Pablo Casals, a Spanish violinist of the last century, said, “The secret of my long life is simple: I made a cult of living the present moment. For me, each day means new

birth, and I repeat to myself: Be happy; today begins a new life.”

Oh, Danny Boy

I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. —Corazon Aquino

I had an encounter with a patient, Danny, who expressed his experience with death, his life, and his hope to understand death. Danny was in his 70s, an architect by profession, and was itted to a hospital with a diagnosis of melanoma and other health complications. His wife died a year ago due to cancer in the same hospital. His near-death experience had such a tremendous impact in his life that he requested to speak to a chaplain. I had no prior with Danny in ICU. I went to see him and introduced myself as a chaplain. His face right away sparkled. He appeared to be delighted and invited me a right away to be seated. At the back of my mind, I thought, Aha, this seems like a nice welcome and an interesting encounter so far. Danny said, “I asked for you because I would like to share my near-death experience.” “Okay,” I said with attentiveness and curiosity. Danny said, “I almost died today. I had my CAT scan. For some reason, my heart stopped, and there was a frantic code blue.” A code blue means someone is experiencing a life-threatening medical emergency. Usually, this could be a cardiac arrest where the heart stops. He breathed and paused. “Good gracious, the medical staff attended to me, and I was revived.” I said, “Sounds like a scary experience.”

He continued, “Oh yeah, surely scary.” Danny kept talking about this near-death experience and how lucky he was to survive. Out of curiosity, I asked, “How did you this experience?” His response was, “I ed that I was scared, but I had problems breathing due to my heart condition. Then, suddenly, my wife flashed in my mind.” There was silence, and he got teary eyed. Almost trying to contain himself, he continued, saying, “Let me tell you about my wife.” “Sure, I am here to listen.” Danny shared, “My wife died a year ago, and it was a total loss for me. My wife was beautiful, smart, and intelligent. She was perfect for me. She was madly in love with me, and I am still madly in love with her. She died a month before our 50th wedding anniversary. I missed her a lot. I was lost when she was gone.” I commented, “There seems to be a connection between your experience and with your wife. What do you think is the message for you?” Danny’s response was, “I don’t know, but I am thinking. It scared the hell out of me, but certainly, it made me confront death” Then he requested, “There is something I would like you to do for me. Would you mind looking for the lyrics of ‘Danny Boy’?” I said, “Sure.” I grabbed my phone, and I searched for the lyrics of “Danny Boy.” He requested, “Can you play the song?” I found the song on YouTube and played it for him, and he sang along with a great smile on his face. The lyrics goes, “Oh, Danny boy, the pipes, the pipes are calling…The summer’s gone, and all the roses falling, it’s you, it’s you must go, and I must bide…But when ye come, and all the flowers are dying, If I am dead, as dead I well maybe, you’ll come and find the place where I am lying…” This song was being sung by a father to a son who was going away to war. It has resonated most with those who have experienced loss, a loss that includes “losing” one’s own country, but who still believe in a bright new day.

Interestingly, the song was often used for funeral services in Ireland. Danny expressed that the lyrics kept him moving. He believed that the lyrics were his faith. He shared that it was difficult to go back to his faith because he had lost with his church for a long time. However, he said, something I won’t forget. “I realized the importance of my faith, and all the while, God was with me on my journey even at the death of my wife. At one point, I blamed God, but I realized that it is my part of my journey. One important lesson I would like to share with you is the gift of the now. At this age, I don’t want to live life with regrets. I want to capture every moment of it.” I was taken with a big surprise at his profound insight, and out of curiosity, I asked him, “What made you realize this?” Danny replied, “I realized in my near-death experience how many times I procrastinated, how many times I say, ‘Tomorrow, I will do it.’ Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. It dawned on me that there is so much I can do in this present moment, and the power of the possibility that I can create at this moment can make a difference.” “Wow!” I said. “That was powerful, Danny. I felt God was speaking to you deeply in your experience.” “Yes,” Danny replied, “He was. That is why I was desperate to talk to a chaplain and share my story because I want to share and request something from you.” I said, “Okay, what is that?” He said, “When I was growing up. I have never heard anybody talk about death. Death was shunned away. I think a lot of cultures have different views on death, or people have different views on death. I think that people have to talk about death. Death must be a topic to discuss. You need to bring people’s awareness of it.” I don’t know, but for some reason, I gladly said, “Yes, Danny.” Danny’s request was, “Can we listen again to the song ‘Oh, Danny Boy’?” We both listened. He asked me to offer prayers for him. He was happy for my visit,

and he expressed his thankfulness that I went to see him and got a chance to talk about his life. In hindsight, I was struck with his story. I firmly agree with Danny’s idea that we should talk about death. Yes, death is a topic that people do not like to talk about. Some people are not comfortable. Some people refuse to discuss death because of fear. At any rate, my experience with Danny encouraged me to reflect on death. I observed that when some people experience the death of their loved ones, life seemed so empty to them. In many ways, people are touched by suffering and by death. Such suffering and death are part of being human. Today everything can be fine with us. But the next day something tragic happens. This is life, and we are powerless. In the presence of death and suffering, we see again how our lives are not perfect. Our body and our heart can so easily suffer or die because they are not perfect. Our human bodies are made of flesh and bones, and it is the human condition that such a body suffers and dies. Conversely, no matter where our suffering comes from and what kind of suffering we have, it is always bitter and hard to take. I believe that death is the last step in life. There is no way to avoid it. Yes, we can delay it, but the day will come for all of us when death must come, and that is it. We have to realize that death is as much part of us as our breathing, our walking, and our seeing. We were born, we live, and we will die. This is the story of everything and everybody that lives. God is the only exception. From suffering and death, good can come just like the thought of other people’s death. And our death can come to us in a new and powerful way. And with this thought, the real meaning of this life became clear for us. I like what Danny realized: “There is so much gift of what I can do in the present moment, and the power of the possibility I can create at this moment can make a difference.” St. Gianna Molla said, “The secret of happiness is to live moment by moment and to thank God for what He is sending us every day in His goodness.”

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection and Group Discussion to Live this Life-Giving Principle of Being Present in the Moment

Guided Questions…of Being Present in the Moment I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to do journal writing because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

How do you wake up every morning? Do you relax and savor every moment and have as much fun as you possibly can? Do you find blaming yourself and others about the misfortunes of your life? Do you find yourself often looking back at the past and hoping to change what you could have done? What are the present moments where you find God’s loving presence? What are the experiences in your life where you live at the present moment? Are you able to appreciate what currently the blessings you have in your life?

Creative Project of Mindful Walk Creative Project of Mindful Walk I attended a conference of the National Association of Catholic Chaplains (NACC) in Mundelein, Illinois, United States of America last 2019. One of the presenters handed me a bookmark on mindfulness walking. I was curious about the activity that I started doing it myself, and it had a profound impact on my life. It was a simple invitation that when you walk next time, be mindful of the natural beauty around you. It is a good and positive way of cultivating mindfulness, and of course, this means living in the present moment. The invitation is to take a walk in whatever creative place you could go and enjoy the scenic place, mindful of nature.

Life-giving Principle 4: Being Prayerful

Live a Life of Prayer

Prayer is putting oneself in the hands of God at His disposition and listening to His voice in the depth of our hearts. —Mother Teresa

My Journey of Prayer

My first recollection of prayer was at four years old. Before I went to bed, my mother would make sure that I prayed to my guardian angel. She recited with me, praying, “ Angel of God, my guardian dear, to whom God’s love commits me here, ever this day be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen. ” As a child, my concept of prayer is communication to God, asking for requests and protection. My mother taught me the basic prayers: Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be. I have learned and memorized these prayers by heart. Growing up, I always believe that my guardian angel was there to protect me and that God is watching over me and He listens to my prayers. As I grew up, I have mastered the basic prayers, and they have become a routine. Often, I asked something from the Lord. I would say, “Lord, please give me more allowance. I need to buy a new pair of shoes.” Perhaps, when my mother heard this prayer, her heart melted, and she would save something for me to buy new shoes. You see, when I was a kid, I had an appreciation of shoes. You know why? Because this was the only thing I could not inherit from my siblings since they were bigger than me. By the time I grew up, their shoes would be rotten and so I had to get new ones. However, I could not get away with clothing. My clothes were hand-me-downs, and I had learned

to accept this as part of my life. Now I realized this as part of God’s providence. In retrospect, my happy childhood memories made me realize how God was present in my life. His hand was at work in how I have learned the essential prayers and have received the gift of faith. Prayer has become a part of my life. My parents made sure that all of us go to Sunday Mass. Although I found this as a matter of moral obligation growing up, later on, I realized the importance of prayer and church in my life. I am indebted to my mother’s patience, accompaniment, religiosity, and her spirituality as it instilled in me the value of prayer. But prayer was not taught to me as a relationship even in my catechism class. During my school days, religion was an important subject matter. But I was absent during the course (Oops!). Or maybe I was not paying attention at all. Whatever the case, a relationship with God through prayer did not sink in. Seriously, it was only later on in my transformation of God’s love that I began to understand what prayer was meant to be. I am sharing my experience because each of us has our journey of understanding what prayer is: how we learned prayer, the development of our prayer, the style of our prayer, and how prayer has become a fuel of fire. In my experiences with many people, they have expressed how much prayer enabled them to live life with joy and meaning, to live life with grace and gratitude, and to live life with love and charity. From my patients, I often heard, “Prayer empowers me to continue fighting, to continue trusting the doctors and nurses, and to continue believing God’s grace in healing.”

What Is Prayer for You?

I invite you to carefully read every statement of prayer and reflect in your life. I hope that the statements resonate with you what prayer is about. I have gathered from patients, families, relatives, friends, doctors, nurses, religious and spiritual mentors their perception and understanding of prayer:

Prayer is communication. Prayer is simply falling in love with God. Prayer is larger than words. Prayer is a posture of the soul. Prayer is not changing God’s will. Prayer is changing our will. Prayer is entering into the flow of God. Prayer is a lifestyle. Prayer is something more than words. Prayer is the heart of waking up. Prayer is to catch fire.

Perhaps many of you can relate with the list of what prayer means. But I observed that many of us are afraid to catch on fire. , in the words of Jesus, “I have come to bring fire.” On Mt. Sinai, there you have the burning bush. There you find a fire extinguisher (Oops!). We are afraid because catching fire is dangerous. We don’t realize that spiritual fire means being cleansed and purified. Do you know how gold is being tested? Through fire. St. Catherine of Siena said, “If you are what God made you to be, set the whole world on fire.” I highlight this definition of prayer because this is my hope for all of us: that we can learn to be spiritually on fire. My friend, did you wake up this morning? I hope so. Otherwise, you are reading this principle on prayer asleep. The tragedy of life is that you did not wake up. Many people are living in a trance the same as usual, same as yesterday, and the same every day. It becomes a cycle. That is why prayer is the heart of waking up.

Being a chaplain is a gift. It is a calling to minister patients and their families who are in distress. In my substantial experience in different hospital settings, the general requested need of religious care is prayer. This request could be anointing of the sick, a prayer of healing, a prayer before surgery, a prayer of commendation for patients who are dying, a prayer of comfort, a prayer of strength, and many other forms of prayer. Obviously, this is the reason why prayer is an enduring theme as a way of coping with distress, illness, fear, anxiety, helplessness, pain, and suffering among the patients as well as many people. They have expressed that prayer has helped them to live one day at a time, diminished their anxieties, and has encouraged them to continue fighting for their illnesses. I have discovered in the stories of patients the power of prayer in their lives.

Mary’s Prayer

Let me tell you a story of Mary’s prayer, an elderly lung patient in her 70s who has a chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), a lung disease that causes breathing difficulties. She said, “Prayer is breathing.” You are right, Mary. You seemed to know it very well. I asked her, “How often do you pray?” Mary said, “A lot. Otherwise, I will be dead. I am just thankful to be breathing with the help of oxygen.” I had a giggle with her lighthearted manner of truthful speaking. My visit was enjoyable and unforgettable. I established a rapport from the time I had my first visit. She was one of those patients that had an impact on my life. When I met Mary from the beginning, it was exciting because as soon as I entered the room and introduced myself as a chaplain, she literally freaked out and shouted, “Goodness gracious, what is going on?” She looked at me and paused, then asked, “Am I going to die?” For some reason, I was calm and responded, “I did not come for that, but I came

to visit.” Mary smiled and said, “How sweet you are. But I am surprised because I just prayed to God. I was thinking of being baptized since I have never been baptized, and here you are. God answered my prayer.” I explained that in the hospital, we don’t do baptism except for emergency cases when a patient is actively dying. Fast-forward two years later, believe it or not, a nurse rushed to inform me about an emergency request from a family member whose mother will be taken out of mechanical ventilator. That day, I celebrated emergency baptism for Mary and it happened on the day of Pentecost. Mary’s daughter, Bernadette, did not know what Pentecost was; but I explained that Pentecost is a Christian feast (holy day) of the coming of the Holy Spirit on the early followers of Jesus. In many ways, it is the birthday of the church. Bernadette was in tears because she recalled her mother’s prayer for baptism and the importance of prayer in her life. Is this grace from God? Be my guest. Be the judge. God listens to our prayers. In His time, our prayers are answered. Mary, as a COPD patient, who has difficulty of breathing, believed that the only way to pray without ceasing is learning how to breathe. Some people are not fond of breathing because it is New Age, but it is fine with me if you disagree and you want to stop breathing. (Then go ahead.) Here is my point. Just , the Bible starts with breathing. God breathes. Isn’t that interesting? Then there is life. This tells us that prayer is learning to breathe as the habit of the heart. This is my invitation for you. The principle of being prayerful is living a life of prayer. It challenges you to wake up and to relax in the reality of being loved. It brings spiritual fire. It gives soothing comfort, peace, serenity, and life. Prayer is not a chore. Prayer is something you unwind, to let God gaze upon you in silence. A reporter asked Mother Teresa of Calcutta, “When you kneel down, what do you say to God?” Mother Teresa said, “I say nothing. I just am.” So the interviewer asked again, “So when you kneel down, what does God say to you?”

Mother Teresa said, “Nothing. God just listens.” Prayer is the merging of two silences, and from that silence, there is this third voice coming out. This voice of silence is God’s way of revealing himself. My friends, I would like to encourage you to discover what prayer is for you so that you can live a life of prayer.

Prayer Starts from the Heart

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. —Proverbs 3:5–6

The invitation to living a life of prayer is to start from the heart. It could be meditation as part of calmness. It could be sitting in the stillness. It could simply be being quiet. I believe that if we desire to grow in our spiritual life, we need to be spiritually fit. We need to explore an ancient practice of prayer. I think that if this practice is imbibed to become a daily household chore, no matter how small, no matter how insignificant, no matter ordinary, it will become a habit of spiritual exercise. St. Therese of Lisieux said, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” This is a crucial question: why from the heart? Whoa! This is not the heart that pumps blood, but this heart refers to the core of our being. My dear friend, check the status of your heart. I often asked myself, where do I stand right now in my life? Otherwise, if you don’t know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.

Let us be honest, there are moments that when we pray, we come in a different stance or situation in our life. I try to recognize my feelings. Am I feeling frustrated, angry, upset, and fearful? Or am I feeling excited, relaxed? Am I feeling tense, anxious? Some would come with different dispositions. Maybe we have a loving heart, a rested heart, an anxious heart. Whatever is in our heart, it is essential to recognize as we start from the heart. Spiritual mentors recommend that in an ancient practice of prayer, whatever your heart speaks today, let it speak. My suggestion is to make an offering out of it. If we feel we need to dance, let it be. If we feel we need to sing, let it be. If we feel we need to be quiet, let it be. Here is a key learning: prayer is to be in touch with our heart’s reality. Our reality is an important step in how we communicate with God. I don’t pretend to be something else. As I begin to pray, I speak my reality (what is going in my heart and present situation) as an offering and a surrendering to God. As prophet Ezekiel once said, “A new heart I will give you, and a new spirit I will put within you, and I will remove from your body the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh” (Ezek. 36:26). Every time I practice this prayer of offering to God with my heart, I dance with the movement that allows me to feel God’s presence. It reminds me of the two disciples on the road to Emmaus when they said, “Were not our hearts burning while He was talking to us on the road, while He was opening the scriptures to us?” That same hour, they got up and returned to Jerusalem, and they found the 11 and their companions gathered together. They were saying, “The Lord has risen indeed, and He has appeared to Simon!” Then they told what had happened on the road, and how He had been made known to them in the breaking of the bread (Luke 24:32–35). Now, I asked you where do you find your heart burning?

Prayer Is a Spiritual Movement

As much as we start prayer from the heart, we acknowledge where we are and we surrender to the Lord. I found myself seeking a place of refuge, a place of comfort, a place of serenity, a place of peace, and a place of life. I named this spiritual movement as an internal place of prayer that starts within the desert. In my journey, I like movement. I love the image of transition. It gives excitement, and it ignites a fire within me. It gives me comfort and consolation of the idea that no one can disturb me in the desert. It gives me life to go there. It is my God and I. I see myself, and I meet God. I realized in reading scripture, there is always a movement from Jesus. After healing, after teaching, after ministry, it will be described that Jesus left the crowd and went to the mountain to pray. Matthew 14:23 reminds us, “And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up into a mountain apart to pray: and when the evening came, He was there alone.” We read in Luke 6:12, “And it came to in those days, that He went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.” The Bible states that during the transfiguration of Jesus, in Luke 9:28, “Jesus took with him Peter and John and James and went up on the mountain to pray.” This has been a continuous pattern in the life of Jesus. Have you noticed this pattern? No wonder the Holy Spirit pushes Jesus into the wilderness. This is like going to the desert. Great spiritual mentors of this life, like the desert fathers of the church, great men and women spiritual writer, went to the desert because they were aware that there are too many distractions. Nowadays, I have recognized the many forms of distractions that plague our society. Just to name a few, depending on our purposes and how to use it, we have cell phones, TV, computer games, and others. I don’t know about you, but I can speak for myself that TV can be a distraction, especially on how many hours you watch TV. I like to watch good movies as

part of my entertainment and relaxation with a considerable balance. I am mindful that TV can take hours of my time. For many people, cell phones have recently been their idea of entertainment, through social media such as Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, etc., and the thought that you spend hours on social media where there is a lack of purpose and meaning. I recognize that these distractions are present and is a reality. Therefore, prayer can be easily eliminated in one’s life due to the many distractions. My suggestion is to reflect and be aware of your distractions in prayer. These same distractions also impact on our human relationships. Just watch couples texting while sitting across from each other in a restaurant. Look around you. I hope you see this and realize this reality is everywhere. This is the reality of the world we live in now. I could imagine this cellphone experience is evolving. My point is to recognize our distractions. So, perhaps I asked, where is your spiritual movement? Or what is your spiritual movement? Am I confusing you? Are you wondering now? Are you thinking? Let me explain. Prayer does not necessarily mean I have to go to the chapel because it is a quiet place there. I have to go to the ideal retreat place of serenity. Yes, you can do that if you have the means to do it. But you will protest and ask a question, such as “Is it necessary to pray in the desert? Do I have to look for a place of my desert?” Let me clarify that chapels or holy places that move the spirit to a greater connection with God is an idea I love, but not all people have this luxury, especially the sick who are at home or hospital bound and people who don’t have access or means to go to the chapel or holy places. I want to highlight that if there is an opportunity and means, I love the idea of going to the desert to find my connection to God because God hangs out there. I want to hang out where I know I can find God easily. For example, I value going to church on Sunday because I believe God is there. I want to be with God and His people that I could find a connection. I also have an incredible feeling of connection with water, lake, ocean, and mountains. I had an opportunity to visit Lake Louie in Banff National Park in the Canadian Rockies. The scenery was spectacular, magnificent, and was a beautiful terrain. The experience of the “Aha!” moment cannot be described in words. When I have a

deep connection, I am in a different spirit, connecting with God’s creation, majesty, and grandeur. Have you wondered why in the ancient civilization, people have built churches, temples, and holy sites in the mountains? Here is my point: the spiritual movement is creating a desert where you find a deep connection. It could be a place or a thing where you can experience comfort, peace, joy, and be with God through the longing of your heart. I have icons in my home; and each time, I sit and look at my icons, it provokes meaning and different messages. I feel God’s way of giving me His message is through the icons. I practice this five to 10 minutes, just a way to relax and be mindful. At times, I find myself enjoying it so much and spend more time, 30 minutes to an hour. I don’t create a rule that I have to spend a certain amount of time because it is not about the time that you spend. I think that prayer should not be an escape where you spend hours and hours and end up not doing anything fruitful in life. I love the rosary in my pocket and praying the rosary because it gives me protection. It makes me feel safe. I value the rosary as my spiritual movement in being assured that God is with me. As a testimony, I have had experiences with my patients who could no longer speak, but they held their rosaries tightly as their way of praying. A dying cancer religious patient told me, “I grew up praying the rosary and will die with them in my hands praying without words.” Being prayerful is being in touch with the reality of your heart. Allow the spiritual movement of your heart to dance if you wish to dance, to sing if you wish to sing, to walk if you wish to talk. Let your heart speak as an expression of love and recognition of your reality, embracing pain and suffering, joy and meaning.

Prayer Is a Spiritual Transformation

To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often. —St. John Henry Cardinal Newman

Being prayerful invites us to go to the desert to celebrate metanoia. Metanoia is an ancient Greek word that means a change of mind and heart, a spiritual transformation. In psychology, it refers to the process of experiencing positive psychological healing or renewing. It is not only happening once. It is happening again. In theology, metanoia refers to spiritual conversion. It is a transformative change of mind. In the Bible, this refers to repentance, which is a change from being a nonbeliever to a believer. The term repentance means “turning back to God” and therefore turning away from all that does not lead us into a profound relationship with God, and to go further, this could mean a change from one’s behavior and disposition to a new and refined one. Do you know the opposite of metanoia? Guess what? Paranoia. Paranoia is a feeling of being threatened in some way or another. In my spiritual vocabulary, it means anything that takes you away from home, whereas metanoia means anything that brings you back home. There is a famous song entitled “Hosea” by John Michael Talbot. I invite you to allow the words to speak to your soul. “Come back to me with all your heart; don’t let fear keep us apart…Long have I waited for your coming home to me and living deeply in our new lives…The wilderness will lead you to the place where I will speak…”

This song is popular during Lent. The lyrics that say, “Come back to me, with all your heart,” is God’s invitation to us. Every time I listen to the song, there are different thoughts that come to mind. This invitation to come back with all your heart is not always easy for us to fully accept. It seems that for us human beings, there is this attachment that keeps us away from God. The next line of the song says, “Don’t let fear keep us apart.” It seems that fear is a stumbling block. It seems that despite fear, our defenses completely drop between God and us. Nevertheless, to continue wrestling with different voices that speak to the core of our being, I’d like to believe that our God is a patient God. He has waited a long time for us, and He will keep waiting for us till we figure it out, and He will be ready to welcome us with open arms. Here is the discovery of many patients who are dying as I accompany them. Spiritual transformation is an invitation to find our way back home to God where we belong, where we come from, and we find our rest. It sounds like St. Augustine when he says, “My heart is restless until it rests in You.” Here is a powerful thought to reflect. Have you ever wondered people who are in distress, anguish, and suffering have a long desire to go back home? I have encountered these people, and their inner desire and often request is to go home. This is the yearning and longing. I would repeatedly hear, “I want to go home.”

God Is Your GPS

Do you the first edition of popular GPS (roap) when it came out from the market? This reminds you that I am getting old. Perhaps more than 10 years ago, this GPS, a tiny device, would give you directions, and when lost, it would beep and say, “Recalculating, recalculating, recalculating.” I invite you to imagine for a while that God is this tiny device. If we are drifting, He is calling you to recalculate. God is calling you to recalculate your life so that you go back to the direction where God wants you to be. This is the testimony I often heard from my patients: “I realized in my helplessness and powerlessness, I have discovered God as the source of my

strength, and He has kept me holding on. He has carried me through, and He reminded me that He is truly with me in this journey.” So, when all things are done and accomplished in life, I have discovered that the principle of living a life filled with meaning and purpose is to pray with a changed mind and heart, a turning towards God and home.

Why Do We Need to Return to Our Desert?

To answer, simply because we need to recognize that there are many forms of distractions that will prevent us from fulfilling God’s plan for us and do His will. We need to go to our desert to fight again our demons because the beast is not outside but is in us as well. The beast is just there. The beast is present. The beast in us is present, whether you recognize it or not. There are many forms of beasts. To name a few: beast of anger, beast of envy, beast of pride, beast of vengeance, beast of greed, beast of sloth, beast of arrogance, beast of selfishness, and beast of ego. In scriptures, we are familiar with the temptations of Jesus, according to Mark. After Jesus was baptized in the Jordan River, the Holy Spirit pushed Jesus into the desert. And there He was with the wild beasts while the angels ministered to Him. Here is my discovery: to pray in the desert is to bring the spiritual transformation of healing body, soul, and spirit. A framed picture of prayer was at the bedside of a patient that says, “I said a prayer for you today that God would touch you with His healing hands and give you the comfort and peace you need to get through.”

Kidney Transplant Story of Johnny

Once Johnny told me his story: “You know, after I was diagnosed with a rare kidney disease, focal glomerular sclerosis, which causes a rapid decline of kidneys, my world shattered into pieces. I thought I was strong, healthy, doing my exercises, and eating healthy foods. But now, I felt it was the end of my life.” When Johnny broke the news to his wife and family, they were all crushed, broken, lost, and helpless. “They wished and prayed to take my suffering away, but they couldn’t do anything. They expressed that it was hardest for my family to watch me in anguish and suffering.” However, in tears, pain, and helplessness, he ed his God, his faith, and his childhood, the words of the elders: “There is hope amidst this trial.” He believed that there is a God who will give him the strength to carry on. He said, “I felt for the first time in my life, hearing God’s whisper, ‘Hold on to your faith. Hang on.’” His kidneys failed, and he had to go through dialysis. “Slowly, my body’s system wore me out. I have not spoken to my siblings due to conflict, but in declining health and through my faith, I have realized it is time to forgive and ask forgiveness. I realized that there is no point in holding on to my resentments, anger, and bitterness.” Johnny decided to phone his siblings back home. He asked for forgiveness, and his family was moved into tears. They were all crushed by the news. They loved him so dearly. Without any hesitation, the family came from far away and visited him. When they arrived, he was at the bedside, and the family embraced him. Their meeting came. No words, but only tears, tears of joy, tears of reconciliation, and tears of healing. Listening to his story made me cry. I thought that his faith and prayer led him to experience peace in his life because he was able to come to with all his hurts and pains. And to him, and many, his illness was his desert; and through that, he found his metanoia, his way back home. God’s miracle can happen at any moment. It can happen in small moments and also in bigger moments. Soon after, the physician came to visit and saw the siblings.

His doctor said, “I did not know that you have siblings abroad. You have never mentioned it. Don’t you realize that one of your siblings might have a compatible kidney for you?” “My siblings did not hesitate. They allowed themselves to be tested. One of my siblings decided to donate his kidney and saved my life.” For the last five years of his life, he spent his quality time with his family and siblings. His life was transformed. His experience of God led him to realize that he can find Him in different forms and situations in his life. He became a witness to God’s miracle and blessings. Unfortunately, now due to circumstances beyond his control, he lost the transplanted kidney, but he continued to hope in prayer. However, his spiritual experience during his illness brought a new way of being in his life. He expressed, “I no longer fear death. I am living through the grace of God, and every day is an opportunity for spiritual transformation.”

Prayer Mirrors Our True Identity

For me to be a saint means to be myself. Therefore, the problem of sanctity and salvation is, in fact, the question of finding out who I am and of discovering my true self. —Thomas Merton

Our prayer hopefully should bring us clarity to who we are. “Who am I? Who are you?” are questions that confront us in how we live our lives. I when I was 13 years old, and I had to decide which high school academy I would be going to. My parents tried to convince me to go to St. Pius X seminary because it is a good academy for discipline and training and they offered a higher allowance. It was clear to me that my parents wanted me to be in seminary not because they want me to become a priest. No, not at all! Unfortunately! The reason behind the push to attend the seminary was for me to be tamed or disciplined. Ouch! This is a painful truth. Unfortunately, my siblings believed that this would be a good idea. They were conspirators. Two of my siblings went to the seminary, and they knew the life of discipline and training. So they ed the idea that the best option was a seminary. They assumed that the other option of a Catholic school was far-fetched because they knew that I had a traumatic experience when I was six years old. I was bullied by older children. I being ridiculed by my siblings because I was the only one that was not a graduate of St. Mary’s Catholic school. Just imagine, my siblings, cousins and other’s children, even my parents, including all the influential people in my city graduated in that Catholic school, and here I was, dreading the thought of going to that school.

It was a struggle. It was painful for me. I didn’t know myself. I was lost. I felt I was not accepted because I did not belong. I thought that I was laughed at because I was the only one who went to a public elementary school. Confused, lost, humiliated, and embarrassed, I asked this question: Who am I exactly? What is my purpose? In prayer, I began to question my existence, my purpose, my meaning, and my life. I don’t have the answer to this question, but it bothered me. Eventually, despite the influence of my parents and siblings, I fought for my independence. I prayed to God to give me direction, and guess what? I decided to study at Filamer Christian High School. I look back and think about this experience through prayer. It gave me different realizations and discoveries for several reasons. This was a surprise for my siblings, cousins, and my parents. The idea that I will be the first one to go to a Christian evangelical school seemed so counter to my Catholic upbringing. My parents were ive and allowed me to decide for myself, which was an important decision I made in my life. In that school, I learned to read the Bible as part of our morning worship daily routine. It was a totally different experience from the sacramental practices and worship in a Catholic school. But there I was, I searched and continued to ask questions about my existence. In retrospect, I am glad that I asked this question early on in my life. This is a very important question because this is our essence. I’d like to think that the moment we know who we are gives us clarity, purpose, and meaning in life. If we don’t know who we are, we live in a mistaken identity and our lives will be like trance. It is like taking a train. It es by different places without notice. It is like living in ignorance, and we don’t know who we are. Life continues without direction, purpose, and meaning. I could count the many stories I heard from different patients from all walks of life on their struggle of searching for meaning and loss of identity. Many patients are confronted with helplessness and powerlessness when they stop doing something, when they lose their function, and when they lose their association. They associate themselves with material things they can cling to, such as a car, house, gadgets, jewelry, and many more. They associate themselves with their jobs, their titles, their achievements, and their tasks. The distress happens when

these associations or attachments are taken away. When such an association is not there anymore, the true self comes out because it is no longer identified with association and attachments. They wished that they had been true to themselves. They wished they knew what matters most to them. They wished they had followed their hearts. Now they find themselves struggling and confronted with their identity. Who am I? What is my purpose now? I can relate with them because I that I used to identify myself with having a nice car, a comfortable house, and my attachments. But I am blessed to realize that we are more than our associations, we are beloved sons and daughters of God. We are children of God. I believe that God loves us unconditionally, and as a child of God, He is fond of us. He wants you to be simply you and being you. In the same way, He wants me to be simply be me. I’d like to believe that the more that I get to know myself by answering the question “Who I am?” the more that I get to know God because God is at the core of our being and the core of who I am. This will involve a paradigm shift: our mental framework changes, our life will change, our priorities will change, our goals will change, and our dreams will change. This is the story of my life and vocation, where I experienced a spiritual transformation. In other words, prayer has allowed me to discover my true self. Do you believe that God finds pleasure in you? I believe that God delights in each of us. Here is my discovery. God finds pleasure in you. God delights in you. God finds joy in you. This is good news, is it not? I will give you thoughts straight from the gospel. Are you ready? Say, “Yes, I am ready!” You are God’s work of art (Eph. 2:10). You are a candle of the Holy Spirit (Prov. 20:27). You are a cathedral of God’s grace (1 Cor. 15:10).

You are the light of the world (Matt. 5:14). You are the salt of the earth (Matt. 5:13). Do you want more? Do you have any doubts left? You are the aroma of Christ (2 Cor. 2:15). You are the fragrance of Christ (2 Cor. 2:15). You are a tattoo on the heart of God (Isa. 49:16). Do you know in the Bible, in 2 Corinthians 2:15, it says, “I have carved you in the palm of my hands”? This verb is translated in the Spanish Bible as tawato, which means “a tattoo in the arm of God.” In simple words, even if it is removed, your arm has been marked. Here is the challenge: Pray as you discover your true identity. The importance of prayer and knowing ourselves was beautifully expressed by a spiritual author Thomas Merton: living a life of prayer is a journey in which we discover ourselves in discovering God and discover God in discovering our true self hidden in God. His powerful and profound thought explained: “The secret of my identity is hidden in the love and mercy of God…Therefore, there is only one problem on which all my existence, my peace, and my happiness depend: to discover myself in discovering God. If I find Him, I will find myself, and if I find my true self, I will find Him.”

Prayer Is Falling in Love with God

Prayer is the only channel through which God’s great graces and favors may flow into the soul; and if this be once closed, I know no other way He can communicate them. —St. Theresa of Lisieux

Do you know that spiritual life is there for one thing? Pause and breathe…think and reflect…are you doing it? Hmmm, how about closing your eyes? Think about that one thing. Are you ready? Our spiritual life is for us to fall in love. Our prayer is to fall in love with God. Have you fallen in love? Have we fallen in love with the one who loves us first? Isaiah said, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her and bring her into the wilderness, and speak tenderly to her” (Hos. 2:14). What do you call this encounter? Seduction? Heart to heart? Prayer is a heart-toheart encounter. Prayer is to that we are all dwelling in the mystery of God.

The Resilience of Leni

Among many patient encounters, I have had a few favorite stories that stayed with me because it has a profound impact on my life and gave a resiliency and faith testimony. Leni was in her late 30s. When I met her, she was pale, appeared depressed, and had a tract on the throat that prevents her from talking. At first glance, my

impression was, Leni would soon be dying. She communicated through writing. When I introduced myself as a Filipino priest (knowing that she was a Filipina), there was a spark of joy on her face. It was like a light bulb. Leni found a sense of connection, especially since we spoke the same dialect. She expressed, “I have been alone in this country, and it meant a lot that I can speak my dialect.” Leni narrated the story of her life. She vividly described her suffering, being alone, single, no family, and the first illness she had. From being a diabetic, she was then diagnosed with cancer, then she had kidney issues and different neurological and medical issues. I heard her suffering, her misery, and I thought this was too much to bear. At the back of my mind, I just wondered how Leni continued to survive. If I were in her situation, I would be tired of myself and perhaps would give up. Out of curiosity, I asked her how she was able to survive. She paused. There was a long silence. She had tears. Leni tried to contain herself. She said, “I have my moments. I entertained the thought of giving up because I am tired. I am tired of fighting. But one day, my church community came to see me. Their presence gave me joy. Their words of encouragement and prayer gave me comfort. Their prayers gave me strength. On that day, I realized through the power of prayer, God is not done with me, and I continued to fight at my last breath, fulfill God’s mission for me.” I validated and affirmed Leni’s story and experience as a testimony of prayer as a life-giving principle that gives comfort, joy, and strength amidst turmoil, chaos, sickness, pain, and suffering. I was humbled with the profound lesson of Leni, whose prayer was deeply grounded in her being and seeing God’s mission in her life. As of this writing, Leni continues to fight for her life, and she is a witness to the power of her prayer and the prayers of her church community. I felt so blessed to listen to the story of Leni because I knew in my heart that her struggle was not easy. I am beyond words of how much she suffered; but truly, as she surrendered to God in prayer and as she entrusted her dying to God, she was led to a deeper level and a transformation in deep faith and prayer. St. Ignatius of Loyola composed a beautiful prayer entitled “Prayer for Generosity.”

Lord Jesus, teach me to be generous; teach me to serve you as you deserve, to give and not to count the cost, to fight and not to heed the wounds, to toil and not to seek for rest, to labor and not to seek reward, except that of knowing that I do your will. Amen.

Discovering True Prayer

Man has a noble task: that of prayer and love, to pray and love that is the happiness of man on earth. —St. Jean Marie Vianney

Discovering true prayer is to understand that prayer is a long, loving look of what is real. This is my invitation for you. Are you ready? A banana is real. A glass of wine is real. A book is real. A cry of joy or sadness is real. A piece of bread is real. A cellphone is real. Take a deep breath. Among those mentioned, imagine a bread in your hand. Look lovingly at what is in bread. Maybe it is just a piece of bread, or if it is a wine, maybe a glass of wine. This is what I want you to realize in prayer: that the whole creation makes it possible that it is bread, it is a wine, it is a banana, it is a shirt that you are wearing, it is a watch that you have. Now look within the bread. There was a conspiracy of everything else how the bread came into being. There were barley seeds. There was rain. There were the

hands that planted and worked hard to produce the bread. There were farmers who harvested, factory workers who put in the plastic bag, truck drivers who delivered, and the staff who put in the store. And there is you who bought the bread. The bread must be treated with respect. The bread must be appreciated. The bread’s origin must be recognized. In the same manner, the shirts you are wearing now, it must have come from the sweat of people who sacrificed a lot. The book comes from the trees. It has its origin. The words I am writing comes from the work of love, from my personal experiences and reflections of life and living a life of prayer through a long, loving look of what is real. I found and discovered that many people who are going through a crisis, sickness, and terminal illness are seeing prayer as a radical response to life. Often, it comes in desperation, nevertheless they wish that they have learned the importance of prayer in their lives before death. Here is an important learning point: prayer happens in the gut or in the core of our being as a radical response. It is a response. Someone else is taking the initiative. It is Abba or God who takes the initiative. A radical response to life came to us when Jesus said, “Take up your cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24).

A Story of a Husband

There is a story I want to relay about of a husband who was deeply touched by the homily of the priest. The moment he went home, he hugged his wife and really kissed her. He was totally changed. Then he carried his wife. The wife asked, “Put me down. What’s going on, and what happened to you?” He said, “I am changed man, and I was touched by what the priest said: ‘To love your wife is to take up your cross.’”

Just making you laugh.

A True Prayer Is Carrying Our Cross

Here is my discovery: a true prayer leads us to carry our cross and enables us to be transformed into our real selves. We begin to discover the letting go of our egos by not wasting time our efforts or time in projecting, blaming, denying, and avoiding ego resistance. This means that a sincere, prayerful person is not fearful of accepting his false self and embraces in humility his weakness, brokenness, and his humanity. That is why Jesus understood very well the need to disrupt a false self, separate self before people can understand that they have a true self. For some people, such a path meant that it would take an inhumane injustice of the system or unsympathetic jealousy that disrupted a priestly work before the realization of the true self. Indeed, Jesus strongly exhorted, “What does it profit a person if they gain the whole world and lose their soul?” (Luke 9:25).

What Keeps You Busy?

If God can work through me, He can work through anyone. —St. Francis of Assisi

A few years ago, my parents and I went to Las Vegas. My father enjoyed Las Vegas with the lights and the entertainment. Tito Ricky and Tita s were our hosts. We stayed in their home. When Tita s’s friends discovered that their visitor was a Catholic priest, her neighbor, Estrella, asked for a house blessing and I agreed. The area was newly built. The owner of the house was a Filipina in her 70s, and she was married to a Jewish man, David, in his 80s. I did the blessing of the house. It was all good. It went well. The house blessing comes with the Filipino tradition of having meals prepared. My parents and I were there. David was present during the celebration. He wore his Jewish kippah. David was pleasant and appeared calm in appearance. My father, who loves to engage in a conversation, initiated, saying, “Sir, how are you, and what keeps you busy?” I was listening to this conversation. David replied, “Oh, thank you for asking. How nice of you. What keeps me busy, I just sit and be.” I looked at the reaction of my father. He was confused, and his jaw dropped, like he was saying, “What?” I started smiling. My father was all the more flabbergasted and was uneasy. So he asked again, “What do you do?” David replied, “Well, it is my wife who does everything for me. I just sit and be.”

When we went home, my father asked me, “What was that all about?” I explained to him that he was talking about being. “Just be” means praying. Being content that he is “just be” without doing anything. I thought, what a powerful lesson from the Elder Jewish David teaching us how to live life by simply being. “I just sit and pray.” St. Francis exhorted us, “If God can work through me, He can work through anyone.” Being present in the moment is a gift, and God works in each of us in the different calling of our lives. So when people ask you, “What keeps you busy?” what’s your response?

Do You Need Oxygen in Your Life?

Prayer is the oxygen of our soul. —Padre Pio

One day, I got a prayer request for Mr. Matthew. His son, Gary, who requested me to offer prayer, accompanied him. Mr. Matthew was dying and was breathing through oxygen. The doctor’s prognosis was that it might take perhaps hours. He was advised to inform the family and prepare for the nearing death. Gary expressed feeling overwhelmed. He was eldest among siblings. Gary was going through a difficult time because he was not used to seeing his father in this situation. I gave Gary a safe space to express his pain and suffering as he tried to process what it meant losing his father. He was emotional, hurt, and felt exhausted from the many sleepless nights in the hospital. I asked him how he re his father. Gary smiled and said, “My father is a prayerful man. He is a man of God. He has a deep faith. He was fighting for his kidney and many health illnesses for many years yet would not want to miss his prayer.” I told Gary that it sounded like he had so much iration and love for his father. This was when he broke into tears because his wife also died last year, and here he was, in his grief and pain, dealing with his dying father. He said, “I love my father. He has been my mentor. He taught me the importance of faith in my life. It would be hard without my father and my wife, but through prayer, I will carry on. Life will continue to move on.” I listened to Gary’s story. It was one of the many stories I have heard from patients who felt strongly that prayer helped them cope with the misery of their pain and suffering.

Prayer is a secret to fine tune where God leads them to be. I validated Gary’s thoughts and feelings. I offered prayer and accompanied him in comionate presence until the death of his father, Matthew. Gary said, “Before you came, my father had a chance to talk to me, and his request was to stay with him and pray. I am glad we did stay and prayed for him.” Listening to Gary’s story, I realized that prayer gave strength and comfort to him. Prayer is the lifeblood of our soul. Saint Padre Pio calls it the “oxygen of our soul.” We cannot live without it. All of us need and are expected to pray. And if we love God, we will find time to pray. Prayer is an expression of our relationship with God. After all, “One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes forth from the mouth of God” (Matt. 4:4). We pray, not because we like to be close to God. Instead, we are close to God, and so we pray. A child who does not have a close relationship with his father will not talk to him in an intimate way. Prayer is the fruit of our relationship with God. The more we love God, the better our prayer will be. There are no experts in prayer but only true lovers of God.

What Am I Waiting For?

He who knows how to forgive prepares for himself many graces from God. As often as I look upon the cross, so often will I forgive with all my heart. —St. Faustina

I would never forget Josephine, who was dying. She was the mother of a big Catholic family. She was brain dead, and her body system had already collapsed. The attending physician advised and recommended pain management for her, and the family agreed. Oh, gee! It was so painful to see her. She was practically lying on her bed with nothing. The family was helpless and hopeless. They grieved for her situation and relied on the power of prayer. I visited every day, but I sensed Josephine was not letting go and wondered why. My gut feeling was telling me that something was going on. Josephine’s heart seemed to be strong and continued to fight. After a few visits, I spoke to the children of Josephine and expressed my curiosity about what I observed in their family. After a long silence, a brave daughter broke the silence and expressed her hurts with another sibling. Then another sibling expressed her pain and suffering. Every one of the children expressed their issues with another, and it just went on and on. I was listening to them in front of Josephine, and I was like a referee. Could you imagine the situation? They were arguing. It was out of control, and I was between them. I said, “Wait for a second! I invite all of you to pause for a moment. Allow your heart to speak, and in humility, ask yourself, what is your mother’s wish at this moment because she is listening to all of you.” Silence. Silence. More silence.

One by one the four siblings spoke from the heart. They were not fighting anymore on who was right. Instead, they were asking forgiveness from each other. The four siblings hugged each other. They ed their hands together and expressed their sincere apology for the past. They conveyed their gratitude for the love and sacrifice of their mother. As I observed them, it was a warm and beautiful image of a family that was wounded by all sorts of issues but in humility embraced forgiveness and love. Wow! It was a moment to behold. At the back of my mind, I thought it was a profound moment. To continue the story, after their sorrowful cries, they were all relieved. I invited them to pray with me the Holy Rosary because I knew that their mother Josephine had a great devotion to the Blessed Mother. I led the prayer, and it was in the fourth sorrowful mystery “The Carrying of the Cross,” when I vividly saw Josephine take her last breath. The four siblings sobbed more while I was deeply moved. It was a moment of grace by God and a moment of profound peace. It reminded me of Jesus’s experience at being condemned to death and was forced to carry the cross to the place of His execution. One could imagine the pain of Jesus when the cross was laid on His bruised and wounded back and shoulders. He was weak and exhausted from the loss of blood and no food, and He fell three times. Fearing that Jesus might die on the way, Simon of Cyrene carried the cross behind Jesus. A large number of people followed Him and women too who mourned and lamented. Jesus said, “Do not weep for Me; Weep rather for yourselves and for your children” (Luke 23:27). In retrospect, I thought that Josephine’s children responded to the invitation of reconciliation, mercy, and peace in the end. It was a painful process, but surely, the death of Josephine made a mark in their lives and myself too. It was Christmas, and Josephine’s children came and gave me small Nativity figurines with baby Jesus. Since then I have kept the Nativity figurines as a reminder of Josephine and the poignant moment when she waited and likely prayed for the reconciliation of her children.

A Prayerful Journal

Our strength is prayer, and the prayer of a humble person is the weakness of God. The Lord is only weak in this one sense: he is weak before the prayers of His people. —Pope Francis

Many of my patients have shared their stories of how prayer has sustained them throughout their illness. One of those was the journey of Doris and Tommy as they lived and walked together in a prayerful experience of love, heartache, and deliverance due to cancer, an undertaking they both encountered with heartfelt acceptance of the Lord’s plans for each one of them. I met them two years ago in the hospital during the hospitalization of Tommy. Doris was having a difficult time, and I recommended she writes a journal for healing. Surprisingly, Doris shared with me the details of her prayerful journey through her journal that I found deeply touching. With her permission, I am sharing excerpts of her journal with you:

Initially, my husband started to have lower back pains, off and on, which he first tried to ignore. Then one day, before going to work, he got the scare of his life when he saw blood coming out together with his urine. Scared of what he just experienced, he went straight to the ER of the hospital. That evening, while telling me about what transpired in the hospital, he started to shed tears and said that the intense pain he underwent was too much to bear. I just had to hug him to console because he was someone who does not easily cry. I instantly felt he seemed to have undergone a traumatic event in his life. I ed telling him we will fight this cancer together and trusting in God’s love and mercy. He will grant our pleadings.

He had to undergo more tests, including biopsy. One day, we were summoned to the doctor’s office and were told that his left kidney was affected by cancer. At this moment in time, I knew in my heart that he was facing a big challenge. Naturally, there was that fear that I sensed in him—fear of facing what’s ahead… fear of not being able to work and facing financial problems…fear that people who’ll get to know of his condition will show pity on him…maybe fear of dying and leaving his family behind. There could be many more, but what I saw is that he became more prayerful. All along, despite the pain my husband was undergoing, he took it all in stride. He still had his cheerful disposition. I supposed he felt the love of every member of our family was there to and cheer him up. After a few months, the doctor said that the scan results showed cancer had unfortunately spread to the lungs. Still, we did not cease praying. We kept the faith…God has His own reasons! By late 2018, cancer had also spread to his bones, first affecting the left shoulder and later attacking his lower back as well. Reading between the lines, Tommy’s case was terminal and that he has to focus more on enjoying his life. Two months later, cancer metastasized to his brain. The palliative doctor explained to us that this was the best time to arrange wills and testaments, discuss and settle financial matters. I don’t know if I should be happy because someone was committed to assisting us in facing the difficult road ahead or be sad because Tommy’s cancer was slowly was catching up on him. Whatever it was, the only answer I knew was to seek shelter in the Lord’s presence, pray unceasingly, and ultimately put my faith in God’s hands. I wholeheartedly believe the Almighty God controls all our lives, and He alone has the final say. In Isaiah 41:10, “I am with you, and I will help you because I am your God.” Tommy’s acceptance of the foreseeable incident ahead made a great impact on how we were dealing with the situation. I heard him say he was no longer afraid of dying. There was now a sense of submission to God’s will. In my heart, I don’t want to lose him and yet I don’t want to see him suffer; that I, eventually, have to accept what God’s plans are for both of us no matter how hurtful it may be. By the early part of 2019, he started to bleed again. Concerned that he might

have blood clots that may cause blockage of his urine and may cause more pain, we went to the ER of the hospital for which he was later confined for several days. One of the beautiful things that happened at the hospital was meeting Fr. Joe, the hospital chaplain. We actually met him more than a year ago when Tommy was hospitalized. I happened to attend the noontime Mass, which he officiated. He was so warm and kind that when he approached me, I introduced myself amiably. From then on, he’d visit my husband in our room to provide spiritual care visits through prayers and meaningful accompaniment. In this confinement, I once more started to attend the noontime Mass, and Fr. Joe ed both of us from way back. Again, whenever he was around, he never failed to drop by to offer prayers and spiritual blessings. We thank the Lord for the blessing of a priest-chaplain in our midst, totally giving us hope and peace at a time of despair! In reality, I was physically and emotionally drained. I was grateful, though, as I was getting the I need. During my prayers, I would plead with the Lord to give me more strength and to help me carry the heavy burden I have on my shoulders. I never felt so alone in my life, especially the last night spent at home. Tommy was sincere in sleep beside me, highly sedated with painkillers. There were many things playing on my mind. I felt the turmoil and hopelessness inside me. I felt numb. I’d look at my husband once in a while, but my mind was empty. I guess I was moving around like a chicken without its head. I didn’t know what to do. I kept praying…that’s all I I have been doing. At one point, I knew I had to say my final goodbye. I cried silently and gave my husband a kiss on his forehead. It meant that my love for him would last forever. No matter how much you think you have prepared yourself for this occurrence, the pain is still indescribable and unbearable.

I found Doris’s journal to be a prayerful journey that showed the love of family, friends, and spiritual counselors who ed them and kept them going. They tried to live the challenges of everyday life despite the struggle of battling cancer. Their faith kept them grounded. Their grateful hearts kept them with joy and believing in God’s comfort and protection. Their prayers kept them strong and enabled them to find meaning in their distress. When I accompanied them during their arduous journey, I have seen that their faith and prayers allowed them to appreciate the difficult process, which later on enabled them to accept

God’s will and experienced the goodness and comion of people who came along in their journey. Their story showed us the reality of many stories of the lives of many people who went through the challenges of illnesses yet able to find coping, meaning, and healing. The story of Doris took us through her emotional path to the loss of her husband, Tommy. We have read her aches, her love, her concern, her gratitude, and her prayer for Tommy and for herself implicitly and many times inferred. Their prayerful journey has reminded us that whatever we are going through, we can learn the bigger purpose of God’s invitation for all of us through the power of prayer. St. Charles Borromeo once said, “We meditate in prayer before, during, and after everything we do. The prophet says: ‘I will pray, and then I will understand.’ This is the way we can easily overcome the countless difficulties we have to face day after day, which, after all, are part of our work. In prayerful meditation, we find the strength to bring Christ to birth in ourselves and in others.”

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection and Group Discussion to Live this Life-Giving Principle of Being Prayerful

Guided Questions…of Being Prayerful I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to journal consistently because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

What has been your understanding of prayer in your life? How does prayer work for you or matter to you? How do you begin your prayer? How often do you pray? How has prayer helped you in your coping with distress, and why? What are the prayers that have been helpful in your life? How do you find a balance between prayer and your work? What are the experiences of transformation through prayer?

Creative Spiritual Exercise for Meditation Creative Spiritual Exercise I would like to suggest this first exercise to those who would like to be spiritually fit. Consider this in your daily life: meditation or centering prayer. Be mindful that prayer recognizes your heart of the moment, that prayer is returning to the desert, that prayer is simply sitting in the presence of God, and many more. Are you ready? I invite you to look for a place that you can be comfortable in your room, chapel, or any area you find one in God’s loving presence. Use this meditation or centering prayer: to quiet down, to focus down, to feel God’s loving presence. I invite you to taste it, and I hope that you will use it for a few minutes every day in your life. I propose and invite you to follow as I say:

To feel the ground, straighten your back/spine. The teachers of the spiritual life teach that it helps to allow the flow in your body. Calm your breathing. Close your eyes. Be aware of the sound around you and listen to the music around you. Breathe in…breathe out…be generous with what you receive. In centering down, we try to leave behind the stress and center on love. I invite you to say in your mind Psalm 46: “Be still and know that I am in God.” Repeat this statement in your mind. I invite you to say bit by bit: “Be still and know that I am.” I invite you to say gradually: “Be still and know.”

I invite you to say slowly, “Be still.” I invite you to say simply, “Be.” Observe sacred silence and allow God to speak to you.

Life-Giving Principle 5: Being Grateful

Live a Life of Gratitude

Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others. —Cicero

Gratitude is an attitude. It is an ability that involves practice. For many of us, we learned to express “thank you” when something good happens, either receiving good deeds from others or receiving gifts. We express our sense of appreciation. Our common understanding of gratitude refers to the quality of being thankful and showing appreciation of the gifts received. But gratitude is more than gifts; it is something higher, something sacred, something whole, and something that transcends. The attitude of gratitude is how we view life itself with appreciation. Our gratitude invites us to see the blessings amidst chaos and the problems we go through. It reminds us to focus on the abundance in our lives and to discover a higher capacity for generosity, cheerfulness, and contentment. Many of my patients, parishioners, and people talked to me about the difference in their lives when they have practiced a life of gratitude as a life-giving principle. Here are some of the examples I have heard from my patients: An elderly patient in her 80s, a former teacher: “I am able to appreciate the coming of death because I have lived a grateful life.” A cancer patient in her 40s, a former businesswoman, a sports enthusiast, and a mother with children: “I have never realized how much I am blessed by God until I got cancer of the throat.” A patient in his 60s with mental illness: “I found it hard to move on in life when

I am going through depression and anxiety, but there is a brighter side when I learn to practice gratitude.” A patient in his 50s, a practicing criminal lawyer: “I tried to practice gratitude in a positive way rather than being angry with the person who caused my accident.” A retired doctor in his 70s: “I can be miserable with my life due to my debilitating illness, feeling helpless, angry, envious, and negative. But at the end of the day, I write on my accomplishments through my gratitude journal, and it makes me feel better that it is never too late.” Here is my discovery: the power of gratitude is an antidote of envy, anger, and negativity. When I am sad, upset, or being negative, I have noticed that my thermometer of gratitude goes down. In other words, my level of gratitude (from zero to 10 range) becomes zero to two depending on the current situation. So I always check my gratitude meter to see if I am between the range of seven to nine. I don’t want to think of 10; that’s perfection. I am not perfect. I am a learner. I try my best to practice gratitude in my life because I believe that appreciation aligns and balances our emotional state. I observed that when we express gratitude, we receive or get something. So by expressing gratitude, my feelings changed into belief of receiving something. If I express gratitude to God for being blessed, my feelings will change into something I receive. If I express gratitude, good things happen today. My feelings change into, “I received good things today.” Therefore, an attitude of gratitude facilitates healing, joy, and a meaningful life. The Bible says, to live a life of gratitude is to “give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thess. 5:18).

The Story of the Empty Can

One day, the king was walking in his town plaza with his entourage. He saw a beggar holding an empty can. The king ed by and looked and kept looking. So the beggar said, “You act as though you can give anything I ask.” Offended, the king replied, “Of course, I am the king. I can give you anything.”

The beggar sarcastically warned, “Are you really sure that you can give me anything?” The king reacted with confidence. “Anything. I am a powerful king. I can give you what you ask.” The beggar said, “I ask for something simple. Can you fill up my empty can?” The king said, “That’s easy. I can do that” He asked his chamberlain to put $1,000 in this empty can. But the empty can swallowed it up. Surprise! The king was taken aback. He ordered his chamberlain again, “Put $10,000, and surely, this empty can would be filled.” The $10,000 also disappeared. The king snapped his finger and put some more cash and more, but the empty can swallowed it up again. The king was getting frustrated. He asked his servants again to put some more cash, but the empty can swallowed up everything. He was embarrassed as a lot of people were watching this event taking place. Is this magic? What is this empty can made of? Am I being cheated? He ordered his servants, “Get all that you have, your watch, your ring, and put everything here in this empty can. I don’t want to be embarrassed.” The empty can swallowed everything up. Then, finally, the king gave up. He was embarrassed, humiliated, and humbled. As many people were observing, he said, “Okay, okay, okay. Before I let you go, could you please tell me what is this empty can made of?” The beggar said, “The empty can is made of an ungrateful heart.” Here is a key learning: if you have an ungrateful heart, no matter what will be given to you, no matter how many times people will help you, no matter how many times God will bless you, you will be a beggar with an empty can. The king was stunned by the response of the beggar. He addressed the people

and said, “This beggar taught me and you, my people, that no matter what I put in, no matter what I have, no matter what I will acquire, no matter what I will receive, ungratefulness will make everything empty and nothing.” Then he said to the beggar, “You have a pearl of great wisdom. You humbled my servants, my people, and me. From now on, you are no longer a beggar with an empty can. You will be an ambassador of gratitude to my people so that you can remind people of the value of gratitude.” My dear friend, this is an invitation for all of us. Living a life of gratitude is to be an ambassador of gratitude. Be a spokesperson of gratitude. Be an endorser of gratitude. To practice and to live an attitude of gratitude is to experience heaven here on earth.

Gratitude through the Practice of Affirmation

Be thankful for what you have; you will end having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough. —Oprah Winfrey

To develop an attitude of gratitude is to practice self-affirmation. You might ask, what is self-affirmation? How do I practice self-affirmation? I simply define self-affirmation as an act of affirming one’s self to develop our value of self, to increase the worthiness of our self, and to increase confidence in our self. I have observed from my own personal experience and heard from the many stories of people that we, as human beings, do a lot of self-criticisms for years. We tend to talk to ourselves self-defeating statements without realizing that our self-esteem and value as an individual care is being diminished and impoverished by our negative self-talk. These are the top 20 common diminished statements that I hear people say:

“I’m a failure.” “I’m not good enough.” “I’m stupid.” “I am poor.” “I am nobody.” “I am often making mistakes.”

“I am not lovable.” “I am ugly.” “I am useless.” “I am not worth it.” “I don’t have talents.” “I can’t do it.” “People won’t like me.” “People will judge me.” “I will never follow through.” “The task is so difficult that there is no way I will succeed.” “My opinion does not matter.” “I won’t share my story because no one will listen.” “I will never be good at anything.” “I am often making mistakes.”

My friend, the lists could go on. I just stopped here. I suggest listening to yourself. It’s essential to recognize your negative statements, and in recognizing where you are, there is self-acknowledgment to transform your words into an act of self-affirming statements. I will it and acknowledge that I am guilty of self-defeating statements. I am aware that I have hurt myself. I have recognized that I did not grow with negative self-talk. I have diminished my ability and capacity as an individual with God-given gifts and talents because I did not believe in myself. The discouragements and the self-criticisms became a wall for me to become the best

of who I am and as God created me to be. That was my story in the past, not necessarily the current situation now. Modesty aside, I believe that I have improved from making those self-negative statements to making self-affirming statements. You might be wondering how I did it. First, let me emphasize my point. I think that part of developing an attitude of gratitude is the practice of self-affirmation. Gratitude is an act of affirmation that there is goodness happening within one’s self in relation to others, there is a lesson learned in the self and others, there are growth and improvement to become good in this life. Each of us is a unique person with God-given gifts inherent in us. As you recognize a negative statement or phrase, recognize that this originates, perhaps, from a sense of shame rather than from your inherent dignity. I learned to believe and trust in my God-given value. I tried this at different times and repeated these affirming words. Repeat the positive statement aloud, slowly, with intention and trust several times.

“I am a child of God.” “I am loved by God unconditionally.” “I am blessed.” “I am secure.” “I am honored.” “I am precious in God’s eyes.” “I am lovable.” “I am good.” “I am beautiful.” “I am worthy.”

“I am healthy.” “I am God’s work of art.” “I am unique.” “I am kind.” “I am generous.” “I am prosperous.” “I am valuable.” “I have a purpose here.” “I am constantly presented with new opportunities for success.” “I am always learning new things.”

My friend, have you noticed yourself every time you wake up in the morning? What do you do? I hope you are praying and thanking God for the gift of life and the new day. I hope you are able to express positive statements about yourself and your life. Unfortunately, many people would tend to complain. They are stuck in their struggles and have difficulty getting out of their distress. I will give you an analogy. Just imagine yourself in the mirror and you see yourself. Then, my friend, what do you do? Do you say to yourself, “I am so ugly. I am a failure. I don’t know what is going to happen to me. People won’t like me, and I am often making the same mistakes”? Guess what? Your whole being becomes negative. It is crippling. It is debilitating. It is helpless. Then your hope is being dashed. How about changing to affirming statements such as, “I am beautiful. I am loving, and I am worthy.” What do you feel when you say these words? Do you feel like choking or vomiting? Oops! I hope not. Recognize your feelings and the power of your self-talk. Initially, the strange

feeling will be the starting point of learning because we are not used to the exercise of self-affirmation. We are not trained. We are used to only focus on the negative side of ourselves. It takes a while. It takes discipline. It takes practice. It takes a habit. Here is the learning lesson: to change our minds is to change our thoughts, and changing our thoughts will change our words. Our words will change our actions. Our actions will change our behavior. Our changed behavior will become a habit. I can’t emphasize this act of self-affirming in your life enough, but my hope and prayer is that you will see its importance in your life when you start to practice it. My patients that have recovered from the different illnesses would tell me when I asked, “How are you able to cope with your sickness, even to the point of entertaining the idea of death?” “Enduring those moments when it is dark, those moments remind me to look into my inner resources of seeking the goodness of God who created me to be.” I heard in another way: “It won’t help to be stuck in my negativity. I changed, turned it upside down with affirming statements, and it works.” I heard a friend said, “Practice affirming statement because it is an act of gratitude.” I invite you to take this challenge in your life now. Don’t delay. Try to do it now.

What Level Is Your Gratitude?

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. —Aesop

Our wealth can be measured by the level of our gratitude. As Aesop said, “Gratitude turns what we have into enough?” What level is your gratitude? Have you heard about a thermometer? Yes. This instrument is to check the level of heat in your body. Oops! Sorry for saying the obvious. How about the gratitude meter? Just in case you do not know, the gratitude meter measures your level of gratitude. You see, if you are feeling angry or upset, your body heat changes because your body reacts to your emotions. If we are in a state of gratitude, we are in a balanced emotional state. Notice something in yourself when you are feeling angry or upset. Ask yourself, are you able to feel gratitude in the state of anger or are you in the state of proving yourself to be right? What is the feeling that surfaces? You might say no. It is difficult to be grateful in those situations. Surely, it is not easy. Any emotional state can bring a different impact on each of us. The impact would depend on our disposition of the situation. What I observed when I am in a state of frustration, I forget about my gratitude until I remind myself that there could be something to be grateful for in the situation. This takes a higher level of awareness. I suggest the practice of deep breathing, to pause, so that you can feel relaxed and emotionally self-check your level of gratitude. So how can we know our level of gratitude? I think this is an important question. For many of us, perhaps we can self-check our high or low, or perhaps we can

use a measurement scale (a scale of one to 10, one being the lowest level). I found scaling helpful in understanding my state of gratitude. I believe that it is beneficial to learn and develop an attitude of gratitude for selfgrowth through these three types of gratitude.

The Three Types of Gratitude

In the first type, we have shallow gratitude. This type of appreciation is the instantaneous way of being thankful. You are grateful today because you have bought a new car, or because someone gave you a new shoe, or you received a new watch, or you finally achieved the dream of your life. Such gifts, accomplishments, surprises invite you to be grateful. At one point in our life, we start with surface gratitude because we are thankful for these material things or events that happen in our lives. In the second type, we have sincere gratitude. This type of gratitude is the gratefulness in a simple way. This means that you are grateful for small and immaterial things in life. You are grateful, for example, the nourishing food, the phone call of your friend, the simplicity of your home, the connection with your family and friends around you. Perhaps having a small gesture of coffee offered brings gratitude and joy to you. In the third type, we have sacred gratitude. I believe in one way or another that we start from shallow gratitude and improve to sincere gratitude but the higher calling is sacred gratitude. This type of gratitude is gratefulness for life itself. This means being able to see the profound grace of God that is happening in the here and now. Being thankful that you are alive and the graces of every moment, of every situation, of every circumstance, and all things that come in life. This level of gratitude does not depend on situations anymore, if it works in your favor or helps you, rather it sees the power of God at work in all things and all circumstances in your life. I am blessed in my life that I have experienced spiritual mentors who have exemplified this level of gratitude. I my spiritual director in the seminary, Fr. Ed Abel. He had a sense of peace that nothing can bother him. He

was living in a state of joy, peace, and gratitude that he was able to transcend all things in life as part of God’s abundance of blessings. During my spiritual direction, Fr. Ed Abell began a reminder prayer. “Every morning I tell God, ‘You got me through the night, I will carry you through the day.’” He was a four-time cancer survivor and has lived a life filled with gratitude. He was grateful for all the connections he has made in his priestly ministry. He said, “I never asked God why I didn’t die when I was supposed to. I just didn’t want Him to let me miss the reason I lived. For a couple of years, I kept waiting for something big to happen. Then one morning in prayer, God said, ‘Ed, you are good at loving, that’s exactly what I want you to do. So every day of your life, just keep on doing it.’” In his late 70s, he has never looked back and said, “I don’t have any regrets. I’ve been a priest for 47 years, and I have loved every minute of it, and I always tell God, ‘I want to thank You from the bottom of my heart for the life You have given me because I really feel like the most blessed guy in the world.’ It is a tremendous feeling.” His persona was so infectious that I found a connection with Fr. Ed. We had kept in touch even separated by great distance. I would never forget the heart of Fr. Ed, whose love and gratitude showed in his humanity. He was like the leper who had a deep gratitude for his healing: “One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus’ feet and thanked him, and he was a Samaritan” (Luke 17:15–16). Jesus applauded the man’s initiative when he went the extra mile to express his thankfulness, and this enabled him to have a deep connection with the Lord. This is my invitation for you. Learn to recognize your level of gratitude. Develop a habit of self-checking your level of gratitude. Practice deep breathing as a stop in any given situation, especially in heightened ones, and determine what type of gratitude level you are in. Stepping up from surface to simple to the sacred gratitude level should be our ultimate goal. It means developing your way of seeing the situation. It means to see God at work in all things in your life for a greater purpose and meaning.

Gratitude Is a Mindset

Appreciation is a wonderful thing: it makes what is excellent in others belong to us as well. —Voltaire

The gift of free will is a God-given gift for all of us. We make decisions every day. From the time we wake up in the morning till the time to sleep, we decide to brush our teeth or not, to take a shower or not, to go to work or not, to eat our breakfast or not, to drive or to take public transportation, and so on. Whatever situation life presents to us, we have the power to choose our responses and face the consequences of our actions. A spiritual director, one time, advised me that to be a successful person, I have to practice self-awareness, the ability to adopt self-control, the capacity to understand the ability of thoughts and actions. A successful person must learn to appreciate humility, I have to grow in self-acceptance, I have to practice comion, and, more importantly, I have to imbibe gratitude as an appreciative mindset. When I heard my spiritual director’s guidance, I realized that being a successful person takes a process to learn, to practice, to grow, and to make it better. This process involves understanding our mental framework. As a tennis player, one important skill to develop is the mindset. I am relating this idea to help you understand and discover what kind of mindset you have. Let’s learn the depreciation mindset versus an appreciative mindset.

Depreciation Mindset

A depreciation mindset refers to a self-destructing trash talk in the tennis world. I expressed these statements: “My forehand is not working,” “I am missing my serves,” “My backhand makes a lot of errors,” and “My opponent is too good.” Here are loser statements I heard from tennis players: “My new racquet is not good,” “The tension of racquet is bad,” “I was not feeling well,” “I am adjusting with my shoes,” and “If I was cheated, I wouldn’t lose.” My friend, listen to yourself! If you are having these thoughts, they are thoughts of self-blame or blaming others. This also means you are not taking ability for your actions because you are directing blame to others and not accepting your struggles, your failures, and your vulnerability. You are making excuses for them. We cannot have happiness and a meaningful life with the depreciation mentality saying, “I am happier if I have my brand-new car,” “I am happier if I get a good job,” “I will be happier if I have a new house.” It is always this “if,” so many “ifs.” Think about this. Have you observed people when they go to work? I heard this statement: “I can’t wait to get off from work.” This statement is conceived from a negative thought. One does not realize it, but it works in the subconscious. It actually tells the subconscious that the moment is not good because it will only be good when he or she gets off from work. This becomes a habit. Just imagine, if your language evolved to be like this. I would imagine that this person cannot enjoy anymore the moment because it is always anticipating for the time to get off work before he or she could experience happiness. Do you see that? Have you noticed this depreciative mindset in your life or the lives of others? This is a kind of cycle that happens in our lives. This is exactly the same way with those people who have the mentality of finding mistakes of others. When they are so critical about themselves, most probably, they are critical and are judging others. Here is the key learning: many people don’t realize that our thoughts and actions create a reaction to themselves. It is cause and effect. Negative thought and action create an internal downward spiral of negative effects.

Appreciative Mindset

This principle of action creating reaction is very true in our lives. I found the same thing happens to us when we have an appreciative mindset. This refers to self-affirming positive statements: “All things will work for my own good and the good that surrounds me,” “The universe is conspiring to bless my life,” “I will be surprised of new blessings today,” “I am grateful for the learning,” “I am choosing healing of my body and spirit,” and many more statements such as, for my patients: “My body will heal itself,” “I listen to my body, and my needs are being met.” A famous modern spiritual author Henri Nouwen said, “Gratitude as a discipline involves a conscious choice. I can choose to be grateful even when emotions and feelings are still steeped in hurt and resentment. It is amazing how many occasions present themselves in which I can choose gratitude instead of a complaint.” I am grateful for the vast experiences in the hospital because I have encountered different spiritualities of many people. It might be a Hindu, Buddhist monk, a Jewish rabbi, a Christian pastor, an Orthodox priest, and others have given value to the practice of gratitude and an appreciative mindset. I must say that it is a humbling experience that allowed me to my childhood experience of appreciation, celebration, and thanksgiving in my life. Now that I am 40, which sometimes I wish I am not. Although people say that I look young. (Oops! Did you burp?) I still celebrate my birthday, and it has been a moment of joy, a moment of love, a moment of thankfulness for the many blessings I have in my life. I discovered and realized that during my birthday from the time I wake up in the morning, I would be fully conscious of my birthday as something special. I would tell myself, “This is the day I was born. I will make it special. I will enjoy every moment and be grateful for today in all my experiences.” I have discovered that having an appreciative mentality has attracted joy to my subconscious. True indeed, there was so much joy, so much fun, and so much thankfulness for the blessings in my life. Here is the challenge to train your minds through the power of appreciation

mindset. That is why we must learn to develop the skill of choosing appreciation as a practice of gratitude. Every time you are not choosing appreciative gratitude, you are robbing something from yourself. The saying, “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrows, but it robs the present of your joy,” is something to consider. , a key to living a meaningful life is gratitude.

Learning Gratitude despite Mental Health Challenges

Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance. —Eckhart Tolle

When I worked as a chaplain at a health-care setting in Canada, I was assigned to the mental health unit, which focuses on the treatment of in-patients that require psychiatric care. This unit provides services to adults 19 years and older. It has a diverse population of people with severe and persistent mental illness. For more than five years, I initiated and facilitated the spirituality group in mental health for patients who undergo psychiatric treatment during hospitalization. Every week I have different topics such as peace, love, hope, gratitude, meditation exercises, open discussion for interaction, and my creative intervention to their needs. Normally, there were five to eight people who would attend, depending on the schedule of every patient. It was interesting that every time I presented a topic of gratitude, I would be fascinated by the fact that no matter what situations they were at in life, generally, a patient would still be able to say thank you for something, either life, food, nursing staff, fellow patient, a memory…the lists could go on. I witnessed the glow on their faces, the joy, and hope that gratitude brings during the discussion of gratitude. Some of their thoughts were deep such as “expressing gratitude is a rewarding habit that affirms the grace of the giver.” Others would say, “Gratitude opens our hearts, encourages us to savor each gift that comes our way, and magically frees us from jealously guarding our possessions.” Some said that “Gratitude lets us celebrate today rather than waiting for the next level of accomplishment or wealth.” While for others, “gratitude is a reminder that one can always find a reason to be glad.”

Having a grateful attitude does not mean happiness all the time, but it is a question of what to do when there seems to be no happiness or gratitude. One of the best experiences in my priestly ministry was serving my patients in the mental health facility. I have witnessed the pain and suffering of my patients. I have listened to their vulnerable stories of craziness, abuses, hopelessness, brokenness, woundedness, and their different world. They were isolated, often being judged and neglected within the community. They were discriminated against and stigmatized as psychotic, schizophrenic, bipolar, and suicidal. They have stories to share and struggles to deal with. All their stories I carry with me and will be part of my journey. This experience reminded me of the spirit of African philosophy ubuntu, which means, “I am because we are.” We are not alone. We are all in this together. I am grateful that I had the opportunity to run a spirituality group in mental health. I had engaged them in different ways, which humbled me, hearing the vulnerability of their situations. But despite their illness, I have profoundly experienced their gratitude and their belief that, yes, life is hard for them; yes, they feel isolated; yes, they feel discriminated against; but they have expressed that it won’t stop them for having a grateful heart. At least for me, I have experienced that when you care and show your sincerity, my patients in the mental health facility were the most grateful people I have met in my life.

A Grateful Heart Is a Magnet of Miracles

Gratitude makes sense of the past, brings peace of today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. —Melody Bettie

Lucy shared her breast cancer journey. In 2010, she was given two months to live by her doctor. Her doctor explained lengthily what they do in palliative care if she decides to go there. When all exhaustive efforts were made to treat a cancer patient and the results are still not hopeful, then their palliative team takes over. Their number one aim is to ease the long-suffering ravages of this disease and to provide the finest comfort to the patient in the best way possible. Her doctor made it clear that this was the best time to arranging wills and testaments. She was shocked and scared. She had a difficult time processing the information. What kept her going were her faith, her humility, and hope that God can make miracles. She bargained with God to be healed and surrendered her advanced cancer to the surgeon. Two months ed, nothing happened, and this continued for several months. One year later, the doctor was surprised and in disbelief that the advanced cancer was totally gone. They had to run through a different series of tests but no trace of cancer. Since then, Lucy expressed that she tried to live gratefully and prayerfully, recognizing that her cancer was a miracle. In her charity and gratitude, she extended help in whatever she can to those who were in need. Lucy became a devoted teacher in children’s education and was active in different religious organizations. She advocated charitable work through helping the poor in different ways. Lately, she received news from her physician that she has a big tumor next to her uterus. It looked to the doctor as malignant, and it may spread to other organs. Lucy prayed in humility and in helplessness, but her attitude of gratitude

remained with her because she knew that her life was already extended many years ago. She entrusted her life to God’s will. She wanted the surgery at the end of April 2020. Suddenly, the surgeon’s office called Lucy to come for the operation in midMarch, ahead of schedule. The surgery showed that the tumor was benign, but lurking in her abdomen was early cancer in her ovaries. Had the benign tumor not happened, the cancer would have gone undetected until much later when it has already spread. Tests showed afterward that no further treatment is necessary. The tumor was gone. The benign tumor was the miracle that saved Lucy. The surgeon canceled all operations after her surgery. When Lucy shared her story, it seemed ordinary, but I sensed that deep within her, it was a struggle, and it was not totally easy. Her disposition in approaching her illness was an attitude of humility and gratitude. She believes that God works in mysterious ways, that God saved her again for a bigger purpose and mission. Her experience of God’s miracle in her life brought transformation and has continuously made her grateful for the immense blessings in her life. This is God’s plan for Lucy. We have to trust God’s miracles for each of us. We have a story of our own journey, and the invitation for us is to learn from the experience of others, which can bring inspiration and motivation in our life. A key learning: having a grateful heart is living with humility. It is an attitude that reveals gratitude to God because it shows no matter what happens, you recognize His authority over all situations and believing in faith in Him that nothing is impossible. Through humility, we submit ourselves to everything that God places in our lives, the good and the bad. That is why the Bible says, “Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up” (James 4:10). Our lives give us an opportunity to decide and choose to be grateful. This involves practice, practice, and practice in order to make this a habit. Gratitude is the energizing fire that creates miracles in our lives. A grateful heart allows us to thrive despite the challenges that we face every day in our lives. Be grateful until your situation changes. Miracles do happen every day. So never stop believing. God can change things very quickly in your life now. For a grateful heart attracts a magnet of miracles.

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection and Group Discussion to Live this Life-Giving Principle of Being Grateful

Guided Questions…of Being Grateful I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to do journal writing because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

What are experiences in your life where you have identified yourself as a having deficit mindset? Give one or two actual experiences. Did it help you? Why or why not? What are the experiences in your life where you have identified yourself as having a grateful mindset? Give two actual experiences? Did it help you? Why or why not? What are the feelings evoking in you when you think about being thankful for the blessings in your life? What are lessons that you have imbibed on the attitude of gratitude in your life? How did you practice the attitude of gratitude in your life?

Creative Project on a Gratitude Practice Creative Project on a Gratitude Practice Journal Writing

Start a list of five or 10 blessings that you are grateful for. If you can write why you are grateful for every blessing, the better. Go to your desert place where you look at the 10 lists of blessings. Either speak loudly or in your mind, repeat those blessings and embrace the gratitude as much as you can. Practice this every day, and I pray that it will bring transformation in your life. Just imagine, let us say you write five blessings per day for the last 20 days, that’s 100 blessings, and you practice for the last 30 days. Then you will develop a habit of gratitude.

Gratitude Jar

This creative practice of gratitude jar is a simple exercise that can enhance the learning of the principle of living a life of gratitude. This will have a profound effect on your gratitude mindset and well-being. It needs a few materials: any small jar, any decorations, stickers, small paper, scissors, pen and pencil to write your gratitude notes. Find a jar or box and use your creative mind to decorate. The challenge is to think and write three things throughout your day that you are

grateful for. It can be simple and ordinary as cooking, breathing, and phone call, etc. There are different ways to do this activity. It can be used for yourself or your group by putting your slip of paper and filling the jar. You can also use it to share it with others that you are grateful for that day. If not, over time, you will find that you have a jar full of reasons to be thankful for what you have. Indeed, this will cultivate a practice of gratitude. When you are feeling down or disappointed, you now have an antidote to your sadness. If you continue the gratitude jar, your negative feelings will disappear because the contents in the jar will remind you of the many blessings in your life.

Life-Giving Principle 6: Being Adventurous

Live a Life of Adventure

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all. —Helen Keller

Ibelieve living a life of adventure is curiosity and continuous learning. When I was growing up, I asked a lot of questions, and my curiosity was perceived to be pesky or like a persistent annoyance according to my siblings. I beg to disagree. I think that I was just curious and wanted to learn. I recall at the age of five, I asked my parents so many questions. Why are vegetables good for me? What nutrients are in the vegetables? Why can’t I have the chicken nutrients instead of the vegetable nutrients that are yummier? My mother would usually say, “Stop it now and don’t talk when you eat. You ask too many questions.” Later in years, I curiously asked my father why there was a disparity between my siblings’ allowance and mine. Venturing that question to my father later increased my allowance. This led me to believe that a curious child trying to form a worldview usually grows in their understanding and has other added benefits. My childhood curiosity formed me to be adventurous. A life of adventure is to learn and explore with your curiosity so that you can have an adventurous path of discovery. To be curious is to have an open and active mind to search for meaning and purpose. Have you observed a child? It is so fascinating to look at them. Every child is on a journey of discovery, adventure, and making sense around their environment. From my substantial experience of observing my patients and the people I have met, they usually express that the more mature they become, the more challenging it is to maintain a level of curiosity in the world around them. Here is my discovery: to be curious is a stepping-stone for a beautiful adventure. My suggestion is to ask more questions. Don’t be afraid to get lost. Go explore

the world. I love to travel so much that my dream is to be able to visit a hundred countries at the age of 50. At the age of 40, my goal was to visit 40 countries. I am thankful that I have accomplished that and, hopefully, still counting. Go wandering. Be open. Be brave. Go out and find the answers to the burning questions you have. Go and try something new, something different, and something exciting. Most importantly, don’t be scared to take risks. We live in a culture where we become timid people. Many times, people live a life pleasing others because they are afraid of a possible rejection in a relationship, maybe fear of pain and suffering, or possibly people won’t take risks due to uncertainty. The challenge of being adventurous is finding that spark, that spontaneity to go forth. If it’s not something innate in people, how do we help them find it? Aside from getting this grace from God, how do we find that energy to being adventurous? This is my invitation for you. Living a life of adventure involves discovering what we aspire, what we dream, and what we are called to take the risk. American screenwriter Eric Roth, who wrote for the film The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, said, “I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people who have a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” I really hope that as you read this, you are now convinced to wonder…to be curious…and live a life of adventure.

Learning to Be Brave

Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing Can Substitute Experience. —Paulo Coelho

To understand the principle of living a life of adventure is learning to be brave and to take courage. It also means an understanding of the enemy and knowing what actions to take. It is our understanding that risk involves a choice that has favorable or undesirable outcomes. Every individual takes risks without thinking about it, while some would risk more. Although risk has a negative connotation because it implies danger, tension, and possible loss, often, the new experiences of the adventure benefit the risk-taker. I want you to understand that risk has a positive side. Risk-taking creates a learning experience, whatever outcome may be. It becomes a win-win situation depending on your disposition. Understandably, you should realize that all risks are not equal. However, some chances are just plain dumb, and it should have never been taken. But even in those cases, I advocate that there is usually some emotional benefit. Interestingly, my discovery from the advice of the elders was that they wished that they had taken more risks when they were younger for the simple reason that more learning experiences will lead them to discover the beauty of life. What I have discovered from their suggestions was the enduring theme of the importance of taking reasonable risks. Are you taking reasonable risks? How do you take risks in your life? In taking reasonable risks, obviously, the upside outweighs the downside, at least probability wise. A financial analyst patient explained that they take reasonable risks despite the volatility of the stock market because they do careful study, based on evidence of facts. We all know it is generally a negative understanding

to take whimsical risks. By capricious, I mean impulsive, that the apparent outcome is negative. But it is equally unwise, from the wisdom of the elders, to let go of reasonable risk where your expected outcome is positive. Here is the key learning: reasonable risk is being taken at its best effort, even if the expected outcome is not guaranteed. These examples of intelligent risktaking might be worthy of our attention and reflection. First, have you ever put yourself in a situation where you have the feeling for someone or simply wanted to invite someone out on a date, yet there is this fear of rejection? The worst-case downside is an embarrassing rejection. The bestcase upside would be a lifelong relationship with that person. Second, have you ever tried to write a book and have it published? The worstcase downside is the publisher would say no. On the other hand, the best-case upside might be an approval of the book. Third, how about ing a community or a club? The risky case involved would be a waste of some of your time. The best-case upside would be lifelong friendships, plus a lot of other benefits. People are pretty good at avoiding impulsive risks, but they are destitute at taking reasonable risks. In the end, people can’t decide. Eventually, they live in the same routine all over again. I have to it that I have never thought myself to be a writer. Still, here I am, taking the risk because my intentions, my heart, and my love for humanity outweigh more than the rejection of people, the criticisms, and adverse outcomes. As Paulo Coelho, a Brazilian lyricist and famous novelist, said, “Be Brave. Take Risks. Nothing Can Substitute Experience.” This philosophy is echoed by the many patients who have expressed to me that being adventurous matters a lot in life.

Small Courageous Steps Toward an Adventurous Life

Courage is knowing what not to fear. —Plato

The secret of reasonable risk-taking is to look ahead far enough. When thinking about my personal growth and in my helping relationships, I do not think just over a short period of time but rather a I make a long-term goal. In pursuing a long-term goal, it take small courageous steps. The kind of thinking is across the span of my whole life that would benefit others as well. So I ask myself this question: “What difference will my decision make over a longer time frame?” We have to realize that in our times, doing even small changes today could make a big difference in the lives of others, especially when it comes to helping relationships. The advice of the elders that I have gathered is that when we allow ourselves to be overwhelmed with fear and allowed our negative thinking or lack of courage to take root, our decision is to do nothing at the moment and we get stuck in our situation. As a result, we deny ourselves growth and the long-term benefits of our actions. This is one of the reasons it is so important to instill good habits. I think everyone knows that good habits are essential in life. At first, it is not going to be comfortable, and it could even be disappointing and involved pain. We could stumble and fall, but to get up and try harder will eventually make it easier to instill good habits. What prevents me from being discouraged when my failures in many ways outnumber my successes is the belief that taking small courageous step now will

be fruitful in the long-term. This means that I have to be optimistic in life and in my decision in all situations. Even if I fail, I must be willing to learn from my mistakes and keep moving forward. In the end, I have discovered how much a small change today can make a longterm difference. In our lives, we are called to be more self-disciplined, more courageous, more persistent, more enthusiastic now and all these positive moves can produce in the long run huge gains to living a life of adventure.

Why Fear Risk?

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. —Nelson Mandela

People say that fear is the enemy of success. People are afraid, and they are stuck in the situation. They won’t move forward and take a risk. When I look into my life experience, I realized that there were many times I failed and many times I was embarrassed. But it has never stopped me from taking a risk. Living an adventurous life means letting go of our fears and taking that leap of faith. This involves risk-taking. I observed that people who do not take risks are blocked by their inability to go out of their comfort zones. The fear of uncertainty is initially cloaked in the illusion of a secured reality. They say that facing reality is the safe ground in the discussion of taking risk. I think that this is a crucial step in understanding risk and recognizing the situation and to eventually being adventurous. Here is my point: risk is the nature of our experience, a feeling, a statement of who that person is at that moment. It also challenges who we are at that moment and to understand ourselves. What I have discovered from patients was that many of them were consciously or unconsciously programmed to be afraid of their family, environment, and patterns of depreciative mindset. They have also said that fear of taking risks can both protect us and stop our personal growth, discovery, and learning experiences. I asked my parents as to why they took risks. Both of them have different answers. My mother shared that she did not take risks because her overprotective

parents instilled in her fear as a child. Her father was the mayor of a small town in our province. Her mother was rigorous. She was constrained to stay home, restricted not to explore, and controlled not to take any adventure. No wonder my mother loves to stay home. She felt secure at home and grounded on her internal resources as a person. She believed that taking risks must be calculated and would be rational risk-taking. She thought that she found her meaning and purpose of living life in the total dedication of love and service to the family. She is content to be a stay-at-home mother and wife, no need to take a risk. My father is the exact opposite because he does not stay at home. He has been an outgoing person, loves people, and has the interest to explore the world. He shared his story that his father was away most of the time because of work as a captain of a cargo ship while his mother was sickly. His grandfather, Blas, and grandmother, Justina. (My name is a combination of their two names, Jublas), spoiled him with love as most grandparents will do because he was the first grandson. As a result, he had the freedom to explore life in different ways. His father traveled and had movement in his life. In the same way, as a child, he followed those movements. He believed that his life was filled with adventure and exploration because of the wisdom of his grandparents. He took more risks, had many failures, but thought that he lived life to the fullest. I thought that my parents have different ways of taking risks based on their family background, influences, and how life has evolved for them. I’d like to believe that I have been influenced by my parents. I had an exciting encounter with a patient, Louie, who was in his 30s. He shared his life story. He was a promising doctor, entrepreneur, and father in the province of Ontario. He was suffering from lower extremity fracture, or a broken leg. He shared to me his adventurous life that was filled with risk-taking, such as skydiving and walking on the edge of CN Tower when he was young. He realized that to fear risk is to avoid change. He learned not to be afraid of the risk when he makes a choice to take an adventure in life. I was taken aback by his sharing, and I learned from his experience because I too have taken more risks in my life, and I believe that we should not fear risk. This is my invitation for you. Living a life of adventure, broadening our world, giving a little spice in our lives, understanding programmed boundaries, and learning to overcome fear is a path to take to live a life of adventure.

Dream of Success with Courage

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. —Walt Disney

Dreaming is one of the many ways to take you to an adventurous life. Once you discover what your dreams are, you can venture them into a reality. Undertaking steps to making your dreams a reality is being adventurous. I when I was 18, and I was in my first-year philosophy class in the seminary. I was having dinner with my priest friends and religious sisters. I told them that I had a dream to travel to the United States and study and work there. They thought that it was wishful thinking. They gave me depreciative remarks: “How could you go there? You are only 18,” “You don’t have family there,” “Are you out of your mind?” Three years after, at the age of 21, my words came true. I’d like to believe that it was part of God’s providential plan for me. I got sponsorship. It was my first time leaving the Philippines, and I was afraid and excited. All my life was spent in my hometown where I grew up. And me? Going there? I don’t have family in the United States. Suddenly, fear surfaced in me. I began to think of possible negative outcomes. I entertained different thoughts. This is what happens in the moment we allow ourselves to entertain fear. Don’t get me wrong, fear can protect us from danger, but we should balance it with intelligence and calculations. I weighed my fear versus learning lessons in life. I took that risk and went to the United States despite my fear. I decided to jump to whatever it might be, and true indeed, I realized in the end it was never as daunting as fear made it to be.

When I was in the USA, I studied my master’s in theology at the University of St. Thomas, Houston, Texas. My life opened to so many opportunities. I had many adventures. It was my first time driving on the Interstate 10 highway of Texas. It was my first time to visit different states by driving alone. It was my first time to ride in a roller coaster despite my fear of heights, and it was my first time to cook for myself. You see, I used to think that life was black and white. Now I realized that I was living in my own small world, and the world was big with many kinds of people with different practices, belief systems, and cultures. I discovered that the world does not revolve around my small community. My life in the US was not perfect. I enjoyed my first few months but became homesick later on. I struggled and was thinking of returning home. Life was not easy, and it wasn’t perfect, but the experience was filled with lifelong lessons. I felt so blessed of the many experiences that have expanded my worldview and improved my skill sets and to become a more open-minded individual. I wondered what life would be if I had not ventured to study in the US. In the words of wisdom of Walt Disney: “All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” Take it from me, who at 18 dreamed success and now years later, not only have I gained knowledge and broadened my mind, but I also went even further than the dream with courage than what my first life adventure took me.

Adventurous Living by Being Giving

Education is the port to the future, for tomorrow belongs to those who prepare for it today. —Malcolm X

As a young newly ordained priest, I was assigned to visit the chapel of a small community. I found it always exciting to trek the mountains of San Carlos, Philippines. My visit to the small villages had been fruitful and enriching because I spent time with the people and celebrated the sacraments: mass, baptism, and wedding. Three birds, one stone. Score! I love people, and I find joy in interacting with people. I had learned a lot from their experiences and stories. Interestingly, every time I went to the mountain, I always see young girls carrying their babies. They were generally between the age of 14 to 18 years old and without a high school degree. Some finished elementary and had never been in high school. When asked why they married early, their response was, because of poverty. My heart bleeds every time I hear of their situation. These young girls and boys were helpless. One day a girl named Christina approached me and asked financial help for her schooling. Wanting to help, I agreed despite my meager allowance. Guess what happened next? Out of excitement, Christina shared to her friends and neighbors that she was going to school. The small village found out about it. The next visit to the mountains, lo and behold, I was approached not by one but four kids. My initial reaction was what, why did she tell them? But seeing the kids begging, wanting to be free of their unfortunate situation, I decided to help them and sponsor them as my scholars.

Just to put this story in perspective, the mountains of Negros Island takes two hours or more walk by foot to the mainland city depending on the area of terrain. On May 1, 2010, at the beatification of Pope John Paul II, I got an inspiration to initiate a group that will help the poor kids. I called my friends if they like my idea of helping these children and young adults and establish a scholarship program. They were positive about it and embraced the idea of helping the poor kids so that they can get out of poverty through education. This was the humble beginning of Pangandoy sa Pag-Eskwela, Inc. or Dream to Study, Inc. I believe that education is a way to alleviate poverty. I thought that young boys and girls would have better opportunities once they are educated. Believing in this dream, in this vision, in this mission, and in this goal, we created a dream and a hope for the children. Now Dream to Study Foundation is a prayer-based community organization that is helping to bring Christ to the poor children who hunger and thirst physically or spiritually. Our primary goal is to establish a sponsorship program for education. The foundation is committed to showing comion to those in need and values the trust and generosity of our ers. Currently, the Dream to Study Foundation has been managed by all volunteers for the last 10 years since its inception. Successfully, it has now graduated 107 high school students and 15 college students since its existence. As of 2020, we are currently sponsoring 125 students. In retrospect, never stop dreaming is beautiful thing us, for the children, and for the people. However, the Dream Foundation was not without significant risk. It was born out of charity and love for the children, but I had to also face any legal consequence. Indeed, never stop dreaming about the good that you can do. I share this experience because it was a risk for me and the people involved in creating this foundation. Had the volunteers and I had not taken the risk, then those who benefitted from the education would not have been able to achieve their own dreams. Neil Armstrong, the first man who walked at the moon once, said, “There can be no great accomplishment without risk.” When a feeling compels you to take any action, to give help, why not take that step. The good outweighs typically the bad.

A Life with No Regrets from Pancreatic Cancer Patient

An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. A disadvantage is only an adventure wrongly considered. —Gilbert K. Chesterton

A year ago I encountered a patient, Angie. She was a retired bank employee in her 60s. Her husband retired when his wife got sick. They had three adult children and three grandchildren. They were devout Catholics. Initially, Angie and I exchanged pleasantries. I established a rapport with Angie and her family. I was curious about what had happened to her. “What were you sick of?” I asked. She was silent. Angie looked at me. She could not contain her emotions, she cried. The room was filled with revered silence. You could only hear the cry of a wounded and anxious woman. I listened to her silence and allowed her to cry. She expressed that she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I saw her face, and I could just imagine the burden that she was carrying. The anxiety, the fear of death, and turmoil within her was heavy. Silence. More tears. Silence. Silence. Silence. She broke her silence and spoke in cracking voice. “I hope everything will be okay. Please pray for me.” I listened comionately, extended ive presence, and prayed over her. As I left the room, what remained in my thoughts was her face of anguish. Because I have pictured in my mind the agony, it was like the full weight was so heavy that you can’t carry it yourself. Honestly, I felt so heavy.

Later on, I found out that her pancreatic cancer was malignant. Every day I visited her, listened to her struggle, and accompanied her. Slowly, I saw the glow in her face. We had many conversations. In my heart, I knew that Angie’s situation was not comfortable. It was a painful reality to carry, but she found value in her life’s journey. I was deeply struck by what Angie said emotionally with tears on her eyes: “Father Joe, I tried to live a good life. I provided all the love and for my family. I don’t have any regret of being a mother and a wife. I am grateful that I traveled the world and visited pilgrimage sites. I’d like to think I live my life with no regrets and took my chances in life.” When I heard her words of peace and sense of acceptance, I knew in my heart that Angie had embraced her illness despite the difficulty. In her last remaining days, Angie surrendered herself. “I pray to God that if this is His will, not for me to suffer more and will embrace whatever His will.” I accompanied Angie throughout her hospitalization and journeyed with the rest of the of the family. I felt that I got to know her so much, and I was humbled to be part of it. She died peacefully with the whole family present. I have had heard several stories that echo the story of Angie, who had embraced their death because they believed that they have lived a meaningful life without regrets. Angie had a sense of pride in her accomplishments and that gave her comfort. She talked about the many pilgrimage sites of Lourdes, Fatima, Holy Land, and tourist places she visited. She expressed being blessed that she accomplished and traveled much in her lifetime; but she was concerned that her friends, her siblings, and the people around her have not done it. Indeed, there are many people whose life are filled with regrets. They feel that it was too late for them as they are in the hospital because of their illness. I heard many stories of people who wished that retirement will come so that they can start enjoying their lives, pursue their dream of traveling, and so on. But it did not happen. Every time I hear this story of regret, I feel sorry for the person. My dear friend, this is the reason why I’d like you to realize that life without regret means taking chances. Life without regrets understands that time is short. Life without regret is living with adventure. Life without regret is taking a reasonable risk to make it happen. The way to grow, the way to learn, the way to experience life is to live with risks.

Life is fuller when living an adventurous life. Being adventurous often means being courageous and taking risks and we also end up growing and learning even more than we had imagined. At death’s door, there are many regrets of not traveling, not learning, and not doing impactful projects.

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection, and Group Discussion to Live this Life-Giving Principle of Being Adventurous

Guided Questions…of Being Adventurous I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to do journal writing because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

What fears do you have in your life that prevents you from being adventurous? What decisions have you taken to conquer your fears? What prevents you from taking risks in your life? What have been your reasonable risk-taking experiences in life? How did it go? What lessons have you learned in taking risks in life? What adventures are you planning to take that will create a new paradigm in your life? What courageous actions have you done in your life that created a difference and meaning in your life?

Creative Project on Building Trust Creative Project on Building Trust Each participant will be blindfolded and will be asked to walk from point A to point B with the instructions by the partner. Each will alternately perform the activity for 30 minutes. The partner will give direction as the participant will trust the words of his or her partner to walk blindfolded from A to B. The most challenging of this activity is to stand on the chair and being asked by your partner to jump from the chair. The purpose of this activity is to show your trust to yourself and your partner in taking that risk. Your emotions will be processed as you are blindfolded, especially when you are asked to jump from the chair. Many times, in our lives, we have not realized until we jump that it is never as high as we might have thought.

Life-Giving Principle 7: Being Childlike

Live a Life of Fun and Joy

It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playfulness deeds and jokes. —St. Thomas Aquinas

A100-year-old Mr. Jim has impressive power. From the moment I met him, he was coherent, conscious, and alert. It was mind-blowing to hear him speaking with clarity, wisdom, and sense of humor. He won’t stop the moment he captures your attention. He shared many jokes. One of those, he narrated:

One day, a little boy and his family attended Sunday church service. Excited and inspired, he made a big announcement to his family. “Mom and Dad, I have decided to become a minister when I grow up.” The parents responded, “Oh, wow! What a pleasant surprise. That’s very good, but what made you decide?” “Well,” said the little child, “we have been going to church every Sunday, and I thought that it would be more fun to go up to the podium and shout than to sit and listen.”

Mr. Jim loves to share story after story. Honestly, I could not get tired of listening and engaging with him. One day I asked him, “What’s the secret of a long life?” He said, “Well, I don’t carry grudges. I tried to live one day at a time. I think that life is to live with joy. I love to tell jokes. It makes life lighter because laughter is

the best medicine. Above all, I enjoy myself, and I know how to be a child again.” “Mr. Jim, did I hear you say to be a child again or you mean to be childlike?” “Why?” replied Mr. Jim. He playfully dismissed me. He continued, “It does not really matter, because life is about learning to have fun and be childlike.” Listening to Mr. Jim’s story and wisdom made sense to me. Because I have enjoyed his childlike attitude, I had a wishful thinking that I would reach his age and, prayerfully, be able to articulate funny stories like him. Growing up, I was blessed to learn that life is fun and filled with joy. I grew to be a cheerful person and open to enjoying life at the moment without unnecessary worry. I really believe that God wants you to enjoy your life with fun and joy. The Bible says in Nehemiah 8:10, “The Joy of the Lord is our strength.” This is a reminder that we need the strength of the Lord in our everyday life. In Proverbs 17:22, “A cheerful heart is a good medicine…” And If I may add, a joyful mind creates fun and works wonders and healing. The principle of being childlike and living a life of fun and joy invites us to see the beauty of life and experience the wonder of God’s creation. Mother Teresa said, “The child is the beauty of God present in the world, that greatest gift to a family.” The beauty of God’s present include that of purity of heart, the trusting and animated soul, the freeness to express their love and cheer. We all had these when we were children but somehow have suppressed them in our adulthood.

Life Is a Game, Play It Well

We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing. —George Bernard Shaw

My mother once told me that among my six siblings, I was the most playful. She told me a story that I used to have a nanny growing up because I was a handful than my other siblings. My nanny was caring and lighthearted who played hideand-seek with me but would concerned when I would disappear. I thought I must have been carefree and playful. My nanny found me using a square container as my swimming pool. I creatively used the vessel to play and have fun with it. I that when I was growing up, during my elementary years, I spent most of my time playing street games such as hide-and-seek, block, and catch, jumping thorns, jump over the cow, and knock down the can. There was so much fun, laughter, and the hours spent in a full concentration of the game as well as camaraderie brought me joy and happy memories as a playful child. I am blessed that since childhood, I have developed my ion for sports. I have enjoyed playing games. I played basketball, baseball, and Ping-Pong. My favorite sport of all is lawn tennis. This has become a source of joy and relaxation for me, and I have practiced a playful attitude in sports and in life. I have tried to live my life in the spirit of cheerfulness and self-discipline, and I developed an attitude of being childlike in making life playful. I entered an international tennis tournament for priests, held in Lincoln, Nebraska, USA, last June 28 to 30, 2019, where 44 priests from nine countries participated. I have experienced many defeats; but I continue to get up, move forward, learn, and found a new way of winning. In the end, I claimed my victory as a priest international tennis champion because I have learned from my

failures. I believe that to be a winner does not mean never failing, it is about never quitting. It means being able to stay focused, self-disciplined, and making sacrifices. Paul of Tarsus profoundly explained to the people of Corinth, “Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So, I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified” (1 Cor. 9:24–27). Paul’s metaphor of sports is to emphasize the importance of selfdiscipline and determination. His aim is to exercise self-control as a way of life that aligns toward one purpose: the proclamation of the good news. Here is my point: we can make our life playful through our attitude of childlike cheerfulness and self-discipline. Each of us has a different style or way of making life playful. I like to believe that how you make your life playful, cheerful, and disciplined will lead you to a life of meaning and purpose, a life that God called you to be.

Being Playful in Life Has Benefits

My elderly patients, parishioners, and friends expressed that many people who are effortlessly carefree, joking, and playful are happier and successful. Obviously, they know how to take care of themselves. They are joyful and cool people. I have realized that being playful is being in touch with our true selves. I have learned that having a playful and curious philosophy toward life offers many benefits. My playful patients have expressed that they have enhanced relationships, better mental health, and a more expansive view of life. Our mental well-being depends in large part on the quality of our relationships. Our interaction with others in a playful manner builds a bond and adds a healthy emotion to relationships. It creates an opportunity for fondness, cordiality, and connection. It also helps smooth out differences and conflict by using a friendly approach, which lightens up disagreements.

Being childlike is being playful. Being playful is fun when we learn to go out of our comfort zones, which allows us to see the bigger picture of life. It is a leap, a jump, and a moment to become small children; but I realize that it is not easy to jump out of the seriousness of life that has been accumulated over the years. When I look at our society, it is built around seriousness at the very core. We are taught with so many expectations for ourselves and for others. We have so much pressure to be successful and to be serious in accumulating money, resources, and material goods in the name of security and material happiness. In effect, because of the expectations and pressures, I have observed that people easily experience tension, anguish, anxiety, and depression. The wisdom I gathered from the elders and patients is that being playful has given them the fun and joy of life. Their simple message is to learn to become small children again, to learn the fundamentals of being playful as an antidote to the modern stressful life.

Facing Reality with Childlike Cheerfulness

Being playful doesn’t mean never taking life seriously or dealing with adult responsibilities, but it is more about having an approach and perspective to have fulfilling and gratifying interactions with others and more amusing experiences. In life, we experience problems. All of us have problems. The nature and complexity of these problems may differ from each one of us, but the fact remains that all of us encounter problems. How we approach our problems will matter and will affect our attitudes toward our problems. I recalled an encounter with Tony, the singer. He was a patient in his 70s, a retired opera singer. He was known among the staff because of his playful attitude through his singing. He had a beautiful voice, and he sang for nurses and his neighbor patient. When asked about it, he shared that singing has been his life. He used to performing professionally. I thought that his singing is a cheerful attitude that brings light and comfort to a stressful reality, especially dealing with illness.

Indeed, facing reality with childlike cheerfulness makes a difference in life. Stop pretending that things are fine. Your denial will keep you from dealing with your problems. It may make you feel better for a while, but it will not solve your problems. Whether we realize it or not, most of our problems are the results of our negative responses to life’s challenges. However, when we begin to recognize and face reality and deal with them in the cheerfulness of a child, then we may be able to have alternative and possibly better outcomes. Being playful lessens stress and improves mood. As a tennis player, I am competitive, but I play with fun and joy, not overly excited about winning. I am also okay with losing. In fact, it helps when I am losing in a game because it makes me humble. Aside from discovering that being childlike decreases stress and tension, I also learned that it helps release negative energy and provides a way to cope with life. Life becomes plain and simple. I have discovered that taking a relaxed and cheerful childlike approach can help us change our perspective when things look bleak. By laughing and being open to moments of merriment, it releases endorphins that can help boost our mood. Growing up, I have learned to be competitive because I played sports. Competitiveness was instilled in me, and I have realized that being playful and having childlike cheerfulness allowed me to be less stressed and made me enjoy my competitions more. Truly, it was a game changer. Learning to play the game of life involves the reality of growing, which happens to each of us. We relish the beauty and miracle of growth in an attitude of playfulness. This entails being creative, allowing our spirits to soar, and venture into some unfamiliar aspects of our self. It also entails a sense of focus and discipline, saying no to what obstructs us and saying yes to what lies ahead of us. Ultimately, being playful entails acquiring a spirit of cheerfulness and always seeing the positive side of things, persons, and events that we encounter along the way.

Surrendering Is to Simplify Your Life

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler; solitude will not be solitude; poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness. —Henry David Thoreau

This photo shows how much I enjoyed playing the telephone. Children are born with a natural desire to explore their environment through play. Do you the last time you have checked your early childhood photos? Try to check your baptismal photos, sports photos, dancing photos, park photos, birthday photos, or any fun and playful memories as a child. I love pictures because they show you different perspectives and invite you to see things in a different lens. That’s why I shared my childhood photos because when I look at my photos, I could reflect on the simple moments when I was a child, and I smile. When I celebrate baptism, I see the beautiful smile and the cry of a baby. When I carry a baby on my arms, they are fragile and vulnerable. Children are dependent on their parents. When I attend a children’s birthday party, I see children with high energy playing. They are animated at the sight of cake and balloons. They enjoyed a Disney character. I have seen a huge smile and laughter on their faces. The child in me wants to participate and be involved in their world. One day I ed a children’s game, and I was surprised by the bustling, vivacious, active running around, screaming, and chasing. It was an amazing experience because it reminded of being a child having no filter and not thinking of what others are going to say and just being focused on the game. There is a sense of abandoning and renouncing of the ego. Suddenly, it feels like surrendering in complete freedom. There is no structure or pressure. There is an invitation for creativity and joyful bliss as I engaged in the experience of play. I am not trying to accomplish or achieve anything. At the outset, it seemed that the game was pointless, running around and chasing, but the experience is ordinary yet liberating. What I have discovered with the elders was their joy of spending time with their grandchildren. In fact, my elderly friends itted they spoiled their grandchildren. They expressed of their gratification, the fun, laughter, and the smiles on their faces as they watched over their grandchildren. There is no wonder that most of my patients, parishioners, and even the of my foundation, expressed the value of quality time with their

grandchildren. This suggests that being childlike is deeply connected to our being human. Often, it is covered by my ego and worldly expectations of living life, but deep within us, our innate desire is to be childlike. I believe that we can discover our being childlike through the act of surrendering. How can we practice surrendering when many people will say that life is complex? Yes, it is really complex because people make it complicated. As Confucius once said, “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” Here is my discovery: many self-improvement books and spiritual mentors advise that to live a meaningful life, one should be childlike through an act of surrendering to simplify life. It is a healthy life when we learn to surrender, let go of the unnecessary stuff and the exceedingly complicated facets of life. Why? Because let us be honest with ourselves. We do not need those that which causes us to worry, be stressed, and be concerned about. What does this mean, letting go of unnecessary stuff? Obviously, you know what this means. Let me challenge you to look at your closet. Do you really need everything there? My friend, I know that this is not easy. This is not only a daunting challenge of physical detachment but internal detachments. This is crucial in learning to detach and learning to surrender. In fact, I found it hard too, because when I came to Canada, I had only one luggage and through the years I have accumulated many things. This year I decided to let it go. So I tell you that from my experience, it is liberating, it is fulfilling, and it is a freeing experience to let go of unnecessary things. Again, this means, not only in material things that people can benefit from your detachments, but also be detached from unforgiveness, your resentments, your anger, and many more. I have no more words to emphasize how important it is to declutter your things and practice ways to learn to let go. This is the invitation for all of us: to enjoy the simplicity of being a child means learning to practice surrendering authentically. Step into the shoes of a child once again. I invite you to see your experience through childlike eyes, to hear through childlike ears, to feel through childlike heart, and to engage your world in

deliberate simplicity. So next time you play, do not be a perfectionist adult but rather embrace the child in you and engage your childlike perspective.

My Surrendering Prayer

Lord, I turn to You in trust and surrendering. I humbly ask You to help me realize that surrendering is liberating, freeing, and living the life what You want me to live. I seek Your wisdom and help me to always turn to You as a child would. Help my life to remain simple as You desire. My Lord Jesus, I trust and surrender in You. Amen.

Identify the Inner Child in You

To be more childlike, you don’t have to give up being an adult. The fully integrated person is capable of being both an adult and a child simultaneously. Recapture the childlike feelings of wide-eyed excitement, spontaneous appreciating, cutting loose, and being full of awe and wonder at this magnificent universe. —Wayne Dyer

To identify the child in you is to recall your childhood days, to your creative play and games with family and friends, and to recall the special moments of laughter. I have discovered that having a childlike attitude relates to greater creativity. Having a childlike approach allows me to be open-minded in seeing the fun side of how life evolves, and the flexibility gives me alternative ways of approaching things. Otherwise, I found myself getting irritated and annoyed when my expectations are not met. I also have noticed that being childlike can help uncover creative solutions and solve problems in the workplace and life in general. Being childlike is the perfect way to break the tension and find pleasure during sober times. Don’t get me wrong. It is important to realize that having humor, fun, and being playful should always be in a proper context and with propriety. The point is learning to be childlike is a powerful resource to elevate good spirits and experience greater joy in life. That is why it is important to identify the inner child in us who wants to play; who wants to dance and sing the music; and perhaps explore the unfamiliar, unmapped, and unknown. Have you lost your inner child? Think back to your younger days to find the child in you. those days on the beach or lake playing with family and friends. Recall the times you were at the amusement park eating cotton candy, riding the roller coaster rides. How about recalling the hayrides, picnics, or camping trips where you sang boisterously, enjoyed fairy tales or ghost stories,

saw nature and the fascinating creatures in it. How about when you got dirty climbing trees, played with puddles, or rode your bikes on dusty trails. Were there times you visited a farm and chased after the chickens or petted the goats, cows, or horses? Recalling being child isn’t just about ing the activity but ing the feelings of joy and wonderment, the laughter, and the camaraderie too. Go on, take a moment to recall the feeling you had the first time you saw fireworks, the spontaneous laughter during an impromptu pillow fight, the thrill of trying a new game or activity with friends like skiing, Wii tennis, or Disney adventure rides. Can you identify the inner child in you now? Do you recognize in your adult life that tiny element, that inner child in you? Have you ever skipped down the street, spontaneously waving, or saying hello to people or strangers in your business suit? Do you jubilantly try new activities for the thrill of it, attend seminars, or watch shows just to fulfill a curiosity? Being childlike could mean many things to people. It could be singing while cooking, whistling while cleaning, doodling patterns while listening, being overexcited when with friends, being occasionally goofy when with family, especially with siblings and cousins. Some people like to dance while cooking. I am one of those who like to dance. Just shake your belly and have one-two steps. I’m sure you have a different stroke, style, and taste in your own way of dancing. Being childlike is being creative. It means being childlike in your creativity, no filter, no pretensions. Rather allow your innocence to lead you, let your sincerity to guide you, allow your sense of fun to cheer you and other’s day, and allow your creativity to shine through and be true to yourself. That is what I have discovered from the elders. Being childlike is being vulnerable. It is being free. It is being human. It is a realization that everything is not going to be perfect; instead, there might be a shortcoming. Yes, people might not like your cooking. People might not like everything. Still, at least, you have done something. People might complain, but you have kept loving and serving. You have kept being curious and animated. You have kept trusting and surrendering. In all you do, learn to have joy and fun in being childlike and, more importantly, discover the inner child in you.

Being Childlike Fits the Bill

One day, a good friend Ruby shared with me the story of her husband, Bill. One of the things she fondly ed was the times they used to sneak up on one another quietly. After the startling touch or poke from behind, they had a great laugh together. Ruby loves recalling how Bill danced with ion, too. His rock-out dance combo of occasional jerky head movements, knees tightly swaying to and fro, arms swinging and fingers snapping offbeat wouldn’t normally classify Bill as a good dancer. Still, Bill’s childlike joy at dancing to the music he enjoyed made him beautiful to watch. When Ruby and Bill were out and about together, he was usually the first one to reach out to hold Ruby’s hands. And when he consumed his favorite desserts, his eyes sparkled, and he would smile wide at Ruby with satisfaction as soon as he was done. Bill ed away due to colon cancer that had metastasized to his kidney and liver. He was receiving chemo every other week for over a year and a half, but in between the chemo sessions, Bill’s kind heart and his childlikeness came out. He loved to have fun activities with his family and friends during their visits. Bill segwayed them through the scenic parts of San Francisco. He smoothly planeglided with his sister, nephew, cousins, aunts and uncle. He took part in Holi ceremony (an Indian ceremony where people were greeted with colorful chalk dust) with friends and coworkers. He watched a ballgame with cousins-in-law. He strolled through the Redwoods and trekked up Yosemite with his sister and niece. Bill smiled, joked, laughed through all these fun activities, and his joy made everyone around him be at ease. But through all that, Ruby spontaneously shared the three significant childlike moments during Bill’s remaining three days. First, he humbled himself before God through the grace of reconciliation two days prior to his ing. Second, Ruby and Bill attended their last Mass together, and Bill accepted Jesus through the grace of the Holy Spirit using his remaining strength to walk up to receive the Eucharist one day before Bill died. Third, and on Bill’s last day on earth, after getting through one decade of the Divine Mercy Chaplet in a hoarse breath, Bill collapsed and was taken to the hospital. A few hours later, Bill’s last words were the responses with a Catholic priest who performed the anointing of the

sick. In Ruby’s faith and surrendering, she felt comforted in her grief that Bill’s final days, hours, moments were his culmination of childlike acceptance of God. Bill was a happy-go-lucky guy who worked in the computer industry. He analyzed and logically thought things through. Ruby knew Bill questioned his faith even as he faithfully attended Mass throughout their married life. But in the end, Bill took that childlike leap of faith and surrendered himself to Christ. Out of the goodness of his heart for others, he made a special effort to be more playful and fun for the benefit of his family and friends. Bill was generous like that, even amidst the pain he must have been enduring. Bill’s childlike capacity brought healing and peace for his family and for Ruby. On the surface, being childlike may seem only to play or being jovial, but it has a much deeper meaning than that. When we learn to discover the inner child in us, we experience a sense of joy, a sense of wonder, a sense of meaning because we can be the best of ourselves and to the people whose lives we touch and we can best surrender ourselves to God. That is why it is an invitation to discover the inner child in you. In the end, what matters is finding your true self that brings joy to other people that makes you the light in His world, which brings you to surrender ultimately to Him. Indeed, the great wisdom of Jesus: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3–4).

A French spiritual mystic Charles de Foucauld wrote this prayer of abandonment.

Prayer of Abandonment

Father, I abandon myself into your hands; do with me what you will. Whatever you may do, I thank you: I am ready for all; I accept all. Let only your will be done in me, and in all your creatures— I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands, I commend my soul: I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself, to surrender myself into your hands without reserve, and with boundless confidence, for you are my Father.

Celebrate Who You Are

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. —Steve Jobs

Being childlike is celebrating who you are as a child of God with the totally of your being, with all its flaws and weaknesses, strengths, and gifts. He created you to be special. The Bible profoundly explains, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made…” (Ps. 139:13–14). I am 40 years old, and I have a confession to make: I have many failures in life. My earliest recollection of my failure was perhaps when I was in grade 1, I saw all my grades in red. My academic grade was 75. In Math, 77; in English, 75; in Filipino, etc. Among my siblings, I did not really excel academically because perhaps I did not study, and most of the time I was outdoors playing. All I did was play. All I wanted to do was to play. I was a playful child. Would you believe that in those days they gave you a ribbon with the insulting recognition of being “the most talkative person in the class”? Embarrassing. You can laugh because this is true. I ed that this experience made me try harder. So I ed that when I finished elementary, my average grade had improved above 75! I have lost in the swimming competition in my first-year high school at a regional level which crushed me and discouraged me. That was the end of my swimming career. I ed that senior year, I competed at a regional event for lawn tennis. I also lost in a tight match. That was also a disappointment in my life. That was the end of my tennis career! After high school, I ed I failed my first attempt taking the university

entrance exam. I almost hated school. After I left the theology seminary and went for priestly discernment, I studied law school because it used to be my dream. I studied for two years, and I was not able to finish it. I can enumerate many failures that I can that molded me into what I am right now. My many failures have taught me valuable lessons in life. As my coaches, mentors, and the wisdom of the elders would say, “Never give up.” Perseverance, determination, discipline, hard work are ingredients to change failure into success. Failure is not the end; rather, the beginning to find new ways of winning in life.

God Is Not Focused on Our Failures

I love this photo. It shows my disappointment. I could not get what I wanted to do. I wished to go deep water, but there was a prohibition. So I started to cry. I realized that my mother was concerned about my safety. This reminded me that I too got disappointed, but I came to with it and was able to rise from it. In life, it is not about winning. We have to realize that failure is not a permanent experience. We must rise above it, choose to be better, learn to change, and make it grow. These are what makes us winners. Winston Churchill says, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” God is not focused on our failures but on our learnings and improvements to celebrate who we are. I learned from my failures because God said to me, “I love you without any condition, and I want you to celebrate you.” Slowly, I have learned to love myself, to accept myself, to forgive myself, to celebrate who I am, and to accept His calling for a higher purpose and mission. All of a sudden, I stopped comparing myself to others. I was freed from my insecurities, and I learned to focus on God-given gifts and talents. I felt liberated. I felt accepted. I felt peace within me. I have discovered a way to celebrate life by recognizing my failures, weakness, woundedness, and struggles. Since then I learned to be childlike as God planted seeds in my life. I learned to believe in my true self. “Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations” (Jer. 1:5 NIV).

You Are God’s Child

I always believe that in life, it is about moving forward to whatever God’s direction will lead us. It is about embracing the lessons of our experiences in life. It is about living in the present moment to follow the will of God as God intended it for His higher purpose and plan. St. Paul said, “I have fought a good fight; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith” (2 Tim. 4:7).

My dear friend, I invite you to celebrate who you are. You are God’s child. You are special. You appreciate how God created you to be. He chose you, formed you, and sculpted you in every fiber of your being. You are unique, and you have your own style—be it failing at most things, succeeding in everything, but likely a bit of both. There are moments when you feel not so good about yourself. Your gut tells you something is wrong, and something is negative. These are the moments when you begin to doubt yourself. When you feel discouraged and when you feel so down because you have failed many times in the past, , God is watching over you. God has a great plan for your life, and God has a mission for you. That is why, as you continue your journey in life, may you learn to recognize, in humility, your failures, your weaknesses, your woundedness, your brokenness, your struggles, your giftedness, and simply being you. Believe that God will lead you to a new way of looking and a new way of being. Appreciate yourself with your unique gifts as God appreciates who you are. Trust in God’s words for you: “He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me” (Ps. 18:19). This is how God delights in you. He brings you into an open space and will rescue you. Then He expressed, “For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; He adorns the humble with salvation” (Ps. 149:4). “The Lord, your God, is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in His love, He will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing” (Zeph. 3:17). Moreover, God will not only save you, but in one translation, “God will dance with you” because He delights in you and appreciates who you are by throwing a party in your honor. Could you imagine that? Wow! What a blessing! Indeed, you are God’s child. Celebrate who you are. God is not focused on your failures. Learn to appreciate yourself as God made you His masterpiece. Trust that you have a mission in this life. Cardinal Newman wrote a powerful prayer entitled “The Mission of My Life.”

God has created me to do Him some definite service. He has committed some work to me, which He has not committed to another. I have my mission. I may never know it in this life, but I shall be told it in the next. I am a link in a chain, a

bond of connection between persons. He has not created me for naught. I shall do good; I shall do His work. I shall be an angel of peace, a preacher of truth in my own place, while not intending it if I do but keep His commandments. Therefore, I will trust Him; whatever I am, I can never be thrown away. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve Him; in perplexity, my perplexity may serve Him. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve Him. He does nothing in vain. He knows what He is about. He may take away my friends. He may throw me among strangers. He may make me feel desolate, make my spirits sink, hide my future from me. Still, He knows what He is about.

Guided Questions for Individual Reflection and Group Discussion to Live this Life-giving Principle of Being Childlike.

Guided Questions…of Being Childlike I encourage you to reflect on the provided questions and spend time for solitude to internalize the thought-provoking message that speaks to you. I invite you to do journal writing because it is helpful to write your realizations and discoveries. If you have a small group, these questions could be discussed for sharing sessions.

What are you doing in your life right now that you consider fun and joyful? What are your acts of surrendering in living a simple life? What are the moments in your life where you have become childlike? What are the lessons you are learning in being childlike? What makes being childlike important in finding meaning and purpose in life? How do you play the game of life? What are the things you need to do to allow a positive and transformative effect on others?

Creative Suggestions for Being Childlike

Creative Suggestions for Being Childlike

Watch funny movies or video clips. Read funny stories and Bible stories. Dance and sing along to the music. Tell funny jokes and laugh often. Go out there and play the games you used to play as a child. Blow bubbles, small to large ones. Run to a family member or friend and give them a hug when you see them.

Creative Project on Tree of Hope

This is an excellent activity for everyone, and I believe this is effective for us who are open to explore a childlike sense of fun and wonder. You will need sheets of paper, string or ribbon, scissors, twigs or tree branches, some stones or marbles, a vase, and a sense of fun, playfulness, and great spirit. You can create a template of leaves and provide materials. Give instructions.

Trace the model of the leaves and cut them out.

Punch a hole at each leaf and insert a piece of string through each. Put stones in a vase and stick the tree branch there. Write about things that you are grateful on the leaves. Hang the leaves from the branches.

This activity is natural, and it is a beautiful reminder that tree bears fruit when you plant seeds of love, comion, goodness, kindness, and more.

Epilogue

All Things Away

We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever; the goal is to create something that will. —Chuck Palahniuk

Everything is temporary. All things away. Just a minute or an hour, our life could change. As life goes well, we enjoy it. If life goes wrong, we must not worry; it won’t last either. We learn from life and would find joy with it. What I realized is that each day is never like the other. We must remind ourselves that we are not in the driver seat. God is the driver. We are all engers in this pilgrimage. One time I had an emergency paged at two in the morning to respond to an accident. The moment I got to the bedside, I knew something tragic happened. The husband, Rudy, was in distress and in deep sorrow for his wife, Emma. He said, “Why? I don’t understand.” He lamented that they attended an award ceremony because Emma received an appreciation for her work on women’s advocacy. She delivered her gratitude speech and left at the backstage. She accidentally fell from the stairs and hit her head on the pavement. I was present when the doctor came to give sensitive information that Emma would not survive the severe trauma of the fall. I spent hours with Rudy in accompanying him and listening to his torment. At one moment, they were at their happiest for the achievement and award, but life could away quickly. Rudy expressed his anguish, “Why, how could this possibly happen?” I did not say much but listened and be with him. He asked me to celebrate the anointing of the sick out of respect to his wife’s wishes. I celebrated, and before we separated, I said, “Rudy, I will pray for you.”

Emma was a philanthropist, a faithful, loving wife, a mother to her five children, and a devout Catholic who dedicated her life for women’s advocacy and service to the poor. A simple fall took away her life, just like that. This is a heartbreaking story, and it is difficult to understand, especially a tragic incident. But this reminds us that all things away. We are not in control. We can try to make reasonable explanations, but this is a mystery of life that we should realize, that as much our life is ing, we could make a difference through the legacy we create. But a year after, Rudy came back to share that the death of his wife led him to realize that while Emma is gone, it allowed him to reconnect the memories they shared. It gave him a chance to scan the pictures. It gave him the opportunity to reflect on Emma’s life and how he lives his life. Rudy shared, “I wondered why my wife Emma dedicated her life in humble service and charity. She was a religious person, and I considered myself agnostic. I realized that Emma wanted to be ed not for her achievements but through her good charity endeavors. She had been persistently inviting me to attend Sunday Catholic Mass in the church but despite my repeated decline of her invitations. I recalled that she would always tell me, ‘I will pray for you.’” Rudy was curious that my parting words were similar to the repeated assurance of Emma: “I will pray for you.” He decided to visit the church where Emma used to go every Sunday, and for the first time, he experienced God in his life. He was crying and crying because he felt so much peace and he had a realization. Rudy was a lawyer by profession. He realized that Emma loved him when she would express that she was praying for him. She was living a life of generosity. Her positive outlook, her love, and gratitude were abundant that even in her ing, her legacy of good works would continue to be ed in the lives of people whom she touched. It was her deep faith in God that sustained her throughout her life and to put up with Rudy. In the words of Rudy: “Now, I am beginning to understand. Now, I believe in God. Now, I realize that all throughout my married life, I have denied God because I was bitter with my past. I was wounded by many failures. I was angry with people who had hurt me, and I tried to reason out everything. I knew I had my shortcomings. But my wife, Emma, carried our marriage with love and

faithfulness. She was my backbone. When she was gone, I was lost, I was crushed, I was devastated. But God found me. God made me realize that I can start all over again, that God forgave my past. And I had forgiven myself and the people who have hurt me. Yes, I am beginning to start my new life. It is never too late. I will begin now.” My encounter with Rudy and Emma dawned on me that in as much as all things away, the memories we create, the good things we do, the legacy will leave behind would never be forgotten. Emma lived a life-giving principle of being love, being grateful, and being prayerful. She was a faithful, loving wife whose love and gratitude was much that she dedicated her life to charity. Emma’s constant prayer had led the transformation of Rudy of discovering God in his life because of her positive words, “I will pray for you.” God sees everything we do. Our God of love will give graces every day to bring transformation to our lives. How we live our lives would depend on the choices we make. My dear friend, as a pilgrim in this journey and a frontliner chaplain, I heard from many families express that in their journey with their loved ones, no matter how much you think you have prepared yourself for this unavoidable fate, the pain is still inexpressible and tormenting, yet it is a transformative experience. I also experienced grief with my loved ones, and it was a painful process. Those feelings of sadness, helplessness, and weakness overwhelmed me when my best friend, grandmother, uncles, and aunties died. They were all important in my life. One way or another, they have taught me valuable lessons in life. Last March 2019, another important person died in my life. I considered Cristeta as my foster mother in Canada. She lived a full life and was a witness to a lifegiving principle of being present in the moment. Her loving and peaceful presence brought me a profound sense of peace and comfort. During the internment, I expressed, “I’m deeply sad for Mama’s death, but what gave me joy and contentment was the thought that in her death, it is not the final end. There is a future. A lot of us don’t think about the future of death because we are afraid of death. We avoid death, and we don’t talk about it. However, I believe that Mama’s death has a future, and this future is eternal life. She faced death gracefully and peacefully.” As we know, all things away. What remains are life-learned lessons, how

we ought to approach life and how to live life with joy and meaning through the seven life-giving principles. The many stories in this book telling of different people living their struggles, pain, and suffering, as well as their regrets and wishes, show us the gift of wisdom in the seven life-giving principles. We realize now that death is not the end but a new beginning in eternity. This is an invitation for many of us in the different circumstances of our lives that it is never too late to start now. Now is your time. Now is your moment. Now is your grace. Don’t delay. Let go of your judgment with your past life. Let go of your failures. Let go of your disappointments, resentment, anger, and bitterness. Let it go. Let God lead you the way. Let God love you. Let God teach you a life of joy and meaning through being love, being aware, being present in the moment, being prayerful, being grateful, being adventurous, and being childlike. They have become a guiding post in our journey of transformation. Every time I was with my patients in the mental health facility, I encouraged them to start writing a gratitude journal and it created a positive impact in their lives when they came back to the hospital to share the newly gained insights through their experiences. As for my personal experience, before I sleep each night in prayer, I open my journal and write down simple things I was grateful for. I write a few words or just a simple thought of what happened to me that day. This very simple practice had given me new fervor and appreciation of a life with meaning and joy. The seven life-giving principles have changed my perspective in life. It has become my way of dealing with distress and crisis as well as joy in my life.

Being love is a decision to conquer our fears, our insecurities, and our doubts. It is experiencing God’s love as the foundation of love. It is learning to love ourselves, making people a priority. Love brings transformation, and sharing small acts of love through God’s love can change lives. Being self-aware is to open our eyes, to see our blind spots, and to be true to ourselves. It is learning our impact on others, understanding our programming, practicing self-awareness in order to enjoy what we do and why we do it and living a purpose-driven life. Being present in the moment is to be actively attentive to the here and now. It invites us that we live one day at a time, experiencing the presence of God through other people, and embracing the power of the now. Being prayerful is to pray with a loving, lasting look to our reality. Prayer starts from the heart that invites a spiritual transformation. Prayer is discovering our true identity, falling in love with God, and experiencing the strength and grace of prayer through the different challenges we face to live a life closer to God. Being grateful is to discover the blessings of God abundantly and see graces of God in different circumstances even in failures, in fall, in sorrows, in weakness as well as in victories, in accomplishments, in joys, and even in the nothingness. It is a constant practice of gratitude through affirmation statements that will become a core belief. It is our understanding of our level of gratitude as an antidote to all forms of toxic anger, envy, jealousy, etc. It is developing an appreciative mindset that would strengthen a life of meaning and joy. It is learning gratitude despite mental health challenges that would stop us from being thankful for life through humility, as gratitude attracts a magnet of miracles. Being adventurous is to learn how to be brave. It is taking small courageous steps. It is deciding reasonable risks, dreaming success with courage, and living life with no regrets by being giving. Being childlike is to be true to your own selves, to be fun and joyful in spirit. It is playing the game of life in a cheerful attitude. It is identifying the inner child within us. It is surrendering to simplify life and in following God’s will, and it is celebrating who we are as a child of God.

Our life journey continues with the invitation to stay awake, to see the grace of God at the present moment, and to follow the will of God with an attitude of gratitude and with the heart of the Blessed Mother. As you finish reading this book, I pray that in one way or another you will find some kind of connection that the God of life, faith, hope, and love will bless your journey with joy and meaning. Indeed, all things away. We all away. What remains is the good that we do while we are here on earth. What you leave behind are the impacts of you being love to the world, you being aware of self and people around you, you being present and childlike to your loved ones, you being prayerful for others and being grateful for all the blessings in your life. In essence, you would live a life of being your true self, embodying the life God wants for you, a person who lives a life of a ion, leaving this good earth with an exclamation mark, with no regrets, and who is not afraid to naturally leave this physical realm for the next eternal phase.

“Oh my God, I will trust you, whatever, wherever I am. If I am in sickness, my sickness may serve you. If I am in perplexity, my perplexity may serve you. If I am in sorrow, my sorrow may serve you. In all things, I will serve you” (Cardinal Newman’s prayer).

How My Life Has Changed

Be who God meant you to be, and you will set the world on fire. —St. Catherine of Siena

The gift of human experience—the encounter with patients, parishioners, servants, and spiritual mentors, self-reflection, and self-discovery—provided the grace of wisdom. Without a doubt, my experiences and journey with the different stories of many people inculcated in me a valuable lesson that will bring different perspective in how I see life. At this point in my life, and as I am growing older each year, I can now look back and see my adventurous journey filled with ups and downs, failures and successes, defeats and victories, and pains and joys. When I was younger, I was all about making goals and achieving them. I wrote down my dreams as my signpost to accomplish. Every year I made checklists of every dream achieved. I had been in 55 countries. I pondered, Done this, done that. Every organization accomplished. Done this and done that. My goals gave me fire, and they led me to where I am now. In hindsight, I was thankful for all the graces and blessings I could never imagine, but I confessed that I wasn’t grateful enough for what I already had. After I achieved one goal, I looked for the next goal to accomplish. I was concerned about accomplishing more and to be successful because I valued time so much.

My Self-Realization

However, I realized that I did not enjoy the process along the way because I was focused on the goal. My mind was fixed on the accomplishment. I thought that I

could be happy once I reached the goal. I had victories but had not savored them because the question was always, “What’s the next game plan?” and “What am I going to do after this?” In other words, it was all about doing. But as I got older, I learned to enjoy every step of the journey. I realized that it was no longer about doing but being. I like to think it is more of being, but now I believe in a balance doing and being as Aristotle said, “Virtue is always in the middle.”

Are You a Human Being or Human Doing?

Let me explain. The human “doing” is goal oriented. It is motivated by action. It is about getting things done. There is a sense of “must,” “should,” “need to.” It is about accomplishment. It becomes a busy life. It is like waking up in the morning, getting out of bed, rushing to get your coffee, and driving to work. Once in the workplace, you keep it going. You focus on your work tasks, attend to all your appointments, etc. Then you drive home through traffic, and arrive home exhausted, you fix your meal, and then you go to bed. It is filled with so many actions. There seems to be no time to breathe the fresh air. You just keep on doing and doing. Every day is all about doing. By contrast, human “being” is process oriented. It is not concerned about achieving goals. It is about accepting, allowing, and “to be.” In being mode, there is a relation to thoughts and feelings. I found a sense of meaning, a sense of purpose, a sense of freshness to the human experience since it can change moment to moment. It can unfold in new ways and new thinking. It is deeper. It is profound. It is not fixed. It does not need to prove. It is rather “be.” It becomes living. Here is my point: life is not only about doing but living as a human being. Of course, we need actions, but we need to balance in life to discover the joys of life through the seven life-giving principles. This is my invitation for you. You wake up in the morning, and you breathe fresh air. You relax in the reality of being love and enjoy how life unfolds. You are aware of the present moment. You can give thanks to God, to nature, and to the

people around you. You can pray for the graces of God we need every day and be able to understand the challenges of human life. You can live in the adventure of your day. And you can surrender as a child of God knowing that we are not in control of what future holds for us. This is how to be a human being. It is living life. It is living in the mystery of love, the mystery of the cross, and mystery of life.

The Story of My life

I described my life story as the mystery of love, the mystery of the cross, and the mystery of life with the hope and prayer that you can find your own experience of love, cross, and life in your journey. First, the mystery of love. Twenty-five years ago, I never would have thought that I would enter the seminary. The thought of entering the seminary had never crossed my mind. I believe in God, but I felt God was so far. I was lost, but God found me. Since then I have been serving God in many ways. Indeed, faith is a gift. Conversion is a gift. You can’t claim it as your own. In my search for happiness and my purpose in life, one day, I decided to attend Mass (the Eucharist). In the mystery of God’s love, that moment, that event, that experience had changed my life. My life had changed completely. Unexpectedly, I wore a new robe. As St. Paul wrote, “It is no longer I, but it is Christ who lives in me” (Gal. 2:20). In humility, I felt in love with this God, whom I did not see, and He still loved me despite my brokenness, my weakness, my limitations, my sins, and my past. He was the God who was with me in my journey every step of the way. When I felt that my world had collapsed, God saved me. When I was drowning, God rescued me. When I was crushed, God showed me His love was greater that I could not imagine. I was overjoyed. It felt like living at the top of the mountain just like Peter and John. I was experiencing just like Peter and John in the transfiguration of Jesus. Peter said to Jesus, “Lord, it is good for us to be here; if You wish, I will make

three tabernacles here, one for You, and one for Moses, and one for Elijah” (Matt. 17:4). To live the principle of being love is a concrete experience of God’s love in His grace. This experience sustained me all these years, which was filled with countless blessings and the gift of priesthood. God has allowed me to experience the greatness of the mystery of love. However, the romance between God and me wavered through the human condition, and I began to experience the cross. Second, the mystery of the cross. After this glorious moment of being in love with God through the gift of ordination and serving Him all these years, I experienced this agony of pain and suffering. The feeling of being misrepresented, misunderstood, misjudged, and even persecuted for believing and doing good things for people. Perhaps you could relate with your own experience of anguish, pain, and suffering. Each of us has a story to share. Whatever it may be, our story, our experiences, our crosses are part of us that we can’t deny rather learn to accept that this will bring spiritual transformation in our lives. Despite the struggle, I am humbled that God has given me grace through the help of good people who believed in my vision for the poor through building a community of evangelization and charity. I have discovered that the more problems I have, the more I learned about myself; the more questions I have, the more opportunities of blessings I received; the more obstacles, the more fruits I will bear. If there is a setback, I will come out stronger. My spiritual mentors had guided me into seeing life amidst the darkness. Their fraternal charity allowed me to grow and to learn every step along the way. My God, my family, my friends, and my charitable foundation community have strengthened me and made me feel the love in those difficult times. Above all, through weakness, I have learned to be receptive to God’s grace. It made me realize that all things away and that there is nothing I can be proud of. Through weakness, I realize that I am human. Through weakness, I have become more accepting of others. Through weakness, I am more forgiving. Through weakness, I learn humility. Through weakness, I strive to work harder. Through weakness, I have become a better person in my life’s journey. This is the irony of it all: through weakness, I have embraced the seven life-

giving principles that have transformed my life. This is the mystery of the cross. Surprisingly, in as much as there were many struggles and difficulties, there were also more joys, more victories, more lessons learned, because the cross of Christ gives life and will always be lifegiving. Third, the mystery of life. My encounters with patients and people made it possible for me to become more conscious of who I am. I had discovered myself as vulnerable child called by God to be His instrument of faith, hope, and love. All these were part of the mystery of life, simply because I believe that I love without seeing. God loves me even with my weaknesses. I experienced the mystery of love and the cross. I fell in love with God, whom I don’t see. He is the True God who became one like me. His love for me sures all love, because in spite of my defects and unworthiness, He loves me unconditionally and called me to witness His presence in my life and in others. No words can describe my love for God. The cross of Christ can have its meaning when we give life to others. That is why I believe that the mystery of the cross is to embrace Jesus Christ, who taught us that our suffering would have meaning when we give the mystery of life to others. Indeed, it is only in falling in love and embracing the cross of Christ that we can give life to others. My invitation for you is to realize that the cross of Christ is understanding that we could be misjudged, misinterpreted, misunderstood, persecuted, and even abandoned. Only when we embrace the cross of Christ in our suffering, pain, and struggles, only then can we enter into the mystery of life: a life that gives meaning, purpose, and true love. When the moment comes that life has to end, I wish that people will me, not how talented or good I was but that I served; not by my accomplishments, but simply by being a person who went out of my way to help people; not by my failures, but by being witness to what I believe is good, and that I showed that goodness by being genuine with all my words and actions, and that I have shared God’s love through love.

Acknowledgments

Ex abundantia cordis os loquitur (“From the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks,” Matthew 12:34). This biblical age from Matthew beautifully captures and describes my gratitude for many people that I will be endlessly grateful for in my life’s journey. To God, our Divine Master, for the gift of vocation. To Mary, our Heavenly Mother, for keeping me under her watchful care and for protecting me amidst all trials. To my parents Blas and Letty Nolasco, for their love and . His Eminence, Cardinal Jose F. Advincula for being a spiritual father and mentor throughout my seminary and priestly life. To Most. Rev. Gerardo Alminaza, D. D., for your trust, guidance, , and encouragement in my priestly journey and to the priests of the Diocese of San Carlos, the Philippines, for fraternal and encouragement. To Rev. Fr. Andrew Mayer, Rev. Fr. Jim Huth, Rev. Fr. Manuel Duterte, Rev. Fr. Prex Fajardo, Rev. Fr. Jun Sescon, Rev. Fr. Marlo Abad, Rev. Fr. Danny Ferrandiz, Rev. Fr. Noel Deslate, and Rev. Fr. Raymond Canete who have been my spiritual mentors, brothers, and friends in guiding me in my priestly vocation. A special thanks to Rose Wierenga and her late husband, Bill, for the to make this book a reality, as well as Rose’s encouragements and layout designs. A special gratitude to my extended family, the Garcia and Esplana families, who have ed me throughout my ministry in Canada. Thank you as well to Tito Cholet and Tita Lita Valmayor as my extended family for their , and kindness. To Voluntas Die Community in Canada and Focolare community who have

shown love and in my priestly journey. To all my family, extended family, siblings, my beloved friends, ers and the of the Pangandoy Foundation, Dream Spirituality Flames of Charity Inc., to all organizations I served, to the hospitals, parishes, and to the many people who had no hesitation to share their stories and contributed the discovery of joys in life. How could I ever thank you enough? I know that words cannot suffice. I would always our shared memories and our journey together, especially our prayers. This book is dedicated to all of my patients who have shared their stories to me —their joys, their laughter, their sorrows, their sickness, and, most of all, their humanity.

About the Author

Rev. Fr. Jublas ‘Joe Blas’ Nolasco is a Catholic priest born in the Philippines. He had worked in high school, college, and parish settings in various capacities. He demonstrates his ongoing ion for all aspects of congregational development, church services, teaching, and has 7 years of clinical experience in hospital chaplaincy in Ontario, Canada. He is ionate about sports specially playing lawn tennis where he won Priest’s International Tournament in Open Singles category on June 28-30, 2019 in Lincoln, Nebraska at 2019. He has enjoyed being retreat facilitator and inspirational speaker in different Catholic organizations. He founded Pangandoy (Dream) foundation in the Philippines that provides educational scholarship for children who are poor but deserving students. He also founded Dream Spirituality Flames of Charity foundation, Inc, Toronto, Canada whose mission is to develop people’s spirituality and self-transformation, through contemplation and action (Spirituality), by serving the needs of the underprivileged including children and seniors who are in need (Charity), and through togetherness of its ing each other (Community). He teaches the importance of discovering our spirituality and the joys of life as written in this book to urge readers to find their connection, their meaning, their purpose and their mission in life. He shares his personal journey and discovery in hospital ministry, after having enough experience with the elders who had provided the wisdom and life-giving principles in life.